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"Fall from Grace" (Private, 18+)


Arekushisu
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Through out the days Rasniel was asleep for Belial took care of all of his standing by duties that had been put aside when he left for Earth as well as kept Lucifer at bay. The relationship between the two was still close however there was nothing sexual between the two although Lucifer would sometimes sneak a kiss in here or there when Belial wasnt really expecting it and he would have to get in trouble again.

 

Belial missed the closeness of Rasniel, he missed his smiling face and his bright smile. As he sat beside his bedside he watched as he slowly started to get better as he took care of him. He found himself on the day Rasniel was most likely to wake up in his office which was attached to his bedroom and he slid his fingers over the paper work infront of him. He sighed and sat his book down on them as he moved to stand. He slowly walked to the bedroom about time for him to look if Rasniel was up.

 

As he stuck his head into the room he was expecting Rasniel to be asleep but when he peeked in he noticed the small little head up and he smiled brightly his entire face losing the grey look and gaining its pink tint. He walked to the bedside and he sat at the chair which was positioned there. "Hey babe! How are you feeling..?" he asked gently running his fingers through his hair and pushed it out of his face. "You've been asleep for about five or six days...You are probably starved." he chuckled knowing they didnt need food but it was a comfort thing. He smiled happily looking over at his lover and over his face happy he was awake and moving and looked completely healthy.

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"Good morning!" Rasniel smiled happily: "I feel much, much better now." Rasniel said as he slipped down from the bed and sat on Belial's lap. He ran his finger along Belial's dark hair, and kissed his cheek gently: "I didn't sense anyone but you coming in here for the past few days, so you took care of me all by yourself? Such a pity that I've missed such a rare sight!"

 

Rasniel chuckled and slid down from Belial's lap while holding his hand: "And yes, food sounds like a good idea. For some reason I really feel like eating something right now."

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Belial blushed lightly as he heard Rasniel talk about him, he nodded gently as his hands ran along the boys small waist. "Yes love...I stayed and watched you the entire time.." he said gently and leaned in kissing Rasniel gently before he pulled away. "Sorry....I just missed you..." he said gently before looking away his hand grasping Rasniel's. "How about you stay in here and I'll bring you something...I'm afraid if Lucifer sees you...we may have a problem...so just until you have healed all the way stay in here and in my chambers you'll be safe here." he said gently and stiffened as he heard his name being called by a shrill voice which belonged to the man in question. "Speak of the devil and he shall appear.." belial spoke and he chuckled, "He cant get in...he is waiting at the front door. Anyway I'll call someone to bring food...he has been making passes at me all week since you have been asleep and its getting on my nerves...I wouldnt mind staying in here with you." he said gently bushing lighty as he looked away agian almost..shyly?

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Rasniel listened to the call from outside and thought for a while. He caressed Belial's cheek gently and turned his head so they could see each other in the eye. Rasniel said in a gentle tone: "I wouldn't mind it either. But this isn't exactly the right mood with him calling for you constantly outside. And besides, you can't hide me from him forever right? Well actually you may well be capable of doing so but I'd prefer you not. I've told you before that I wanted to meet Lucifer at some point, and it might as well be now. Seriously I mean it, I want to meet him. Perhaps we three can have a breakfast together? Is it morning right now even? I really can't tell the time right now."

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Belial flinched at the words spoken to him and he nodded gently, "If its what the angle wants.." he said gently and hugged Rasniel softly after leaning into his hand. "But...if he like...gets touchy with me just know nothing has happened since I met you..I actually havent slept with him in awhile..." he said thinking a moment and then shook it off. He stood and moved, "Get ready, you will probably pass people on the way there so I just want you to be clothed well" he chuckled. "And it is mid day actually..you will probably have a hard time telling because Hell's sky is red." he said softly and smiled leaning against the wall hearing his name being moaned out at the door. "Rasniel...you dont love me right...?" he asked suddenly having been thinking about it. As the words left his mouth a blush fell over his cheeks and he looked away, "I mean...nevermind dont answer that.." he said softly and moved to his study just outside the bedroom.

 

He was stupid, he hit himself lightly on the forehead and sighed, "I'm stupid.." he knew that Rasniel didn't love him but he knew that Lucifer didnt either. Both were using him for their own needs and it hurt him more than anything he wanted nothing more than to be special to someone. He looked over at the door and heard Lucifer sigh, "I love you Belial.." he said gently against the door, Belial could tell easily it was a small lie to keep him with him and he wouldnt fall for it. "Lucifer, shut up. I'm coming out okay so just stay right there.." belial said through the door and he heard a squeal from the other side. He knew that Rasniel didnt have any real feelings for him because every time Lucifer..touched him or talked about him or anything Rasniel wasnt jealous neither was he envious of the closeness the two beings had with one another. Belial almost wanted Rasniel to get jealous of Lucifer...but he knew that was a sin to be jealous so much and he knew that Rasniel wasn't like that, not really. He waited patiently as he got dressed in his study fiddling with his thumbs as his crown appeared on his head the flames purple for a moment then orange again.

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Rasniel looked at the door after Belial had left the room and pondered about what he just heard. "Do I love him?" he muttered quietly. And the answer to that question would be yes. Rasniel knew love, the kind of love that's wide, gentle and universal, similar to the love of God towards all of creation, and in this sense Rasniel did loved Belial, as he loved his fellow angels, and all of the humans, even the demons he had fought. But Rasniel knew that wasn't what Belial was asking. Belial was asking about the of singular, passionate, romantic love. While Rasniel knew that Belial meant something different and special to him, but was it love? Or was it friendship? Respect? Dependence?

 

Rasniel shaked his head and shrugged off the thought for now. Rasniel took of the pajama he was wearing and figured that Belial must have put them on him during his sleep, then he tried to form the robe out of energy as usual but failed to do so.

 

"...........Right...I'm not an angel anymore.......hmm...." Rasniel closed his eyes and began to explore inside him, and as he suspected a different power now flows inside him. He mustered the new power the same way he did before with the power of light, and soon his body was shrouded in a black mist which weaved together and formed the fabric of the clothes, eventually forming a robe, which despite his best effort seemed not as white as before. He looked himself in the mirror and saw his appearance for the first time since his fall, turning around to see how the robe fits, fixing his hair which was quite messy after the days of sleeping. Then his gaze stopped at his back, with the angelic wing on his right, and grotesque tendrils on his left. He thought for a moment should he retract them completely so they became invisible.

 

"............No point to hide them I suppose..." Rasniel muttered and retracted his wings only to make them less voluminous, then he opened the door and walked to the study where Belial was waiting: "Sorry it took so long. I'm ready to meet him now."

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Belial heard Lucifer talking to him, constant apologies and please to take him back. He heard the three romantic words about twenty times in the amount of time it took Rasniel to completely get ready for food. Belial himself had changed in the time remaining into a black loose fitting shirt and a pair of jeans that fit him comfortably. He was in his home after all and he had no one to impress but possibly his followers but he even dressed casually when he was ordering them around. He moved his hand across his forehead and the burning crown that usually took place there moved into place and he sighed gently dimming it down some. He usually never left his room without having it on, everyone knew he was king but some people would try and test him for power if he didnt show it.

 

He looked up as Rasniel entered the study and a bright smile covered Belial's lips, "Ah! You look wonderful...just a little sleepy." he chuckled and moved over to the boy and he gently caressed his hair. "Alright...if you are really ready to meet him.." he said gently and leaned down kissing Rasniel gently on the lips before he moved quickly away and to the door motioning for Rasniel to follow. He moved easily hearing the muffled "I love you's" against the door and opened it easily feeling a all too familiar body crash into his chest. A soft chuckle left his lips as he righted Lucifer pushing the black hair out of the boys face, "You know how many times I've told you not to lean against my door like that?" Belial said easily and walked out into the hall having a bright and happy looking Lucifer checking him out.

 

Lucifer had a slim body that fit him well, his wings when they were out were smaller than Belial's but still the beautiful black that Belial's took on. He had a scrawny looking build however he was stronger than he looked and usually he would show this when in action. Belial felt the arms go around his neck and he hugged the boy and he sighed, "Lucifer..." but before he could say anything else, and before Rasniel had fully emerged from his room he felt lips against his own and he relaxed slightly into the all too familiar touch to moved easily and bite the boys lips making him pull back. Belial shook his head and pulled his arms away from him, "Lucifer I told ou I was fine with you hugging me and coming to me when you need someone but we are no longer romantically involved with one another..." he said simply looking over the sad looking man before him. Belial stepped aside and moved, "Lucifer...this is Rasniel...the angle I've been telling you about."Belial said with a different softenss in his voice for the angle than he had ever had for Lucifer.

 

Lucifer moved easily and he looked up at Belial like he had been stabbed, "You...he stays with you?! You never even let me stay in your room after we were done! How come he gets to sleep in your room! For days to be exact!" Lucifer looked like he was about to start crying again as he looked up at Belial like he had hurt him twice over.

 

Belial simply looked at Lucifer and he leaned to him a moment so he could hear, "I let him stay...because I love him lucifer. You used me for sex, and the status of being the King's boyfriend...you never ever once cared about me." he said coldly and looked away. "Go line up the men for me...and don't slack off." he said as tears streamed down the mans face and he wiped them angerly as he glared behind Belial at Rasniel.

 

"He isnt yours! You dont even love him! Your'e going to use him just like I did and when he figures that out he will come back to me!" lucifer practically screamed at Rasneil angry tears leaving his eyes as he turned and ran in the direction of his room. A heavy sigh left Belial's lips and he turned to Rasniel, "Soooo...yea...thats Lucifer for you...i told you he wasn't going to like you...he can barely swallow the fact I've left him.." he said gently and leaned against the wall. "I'm sorry you had to see that..." he said gently apologizing for the kiss and for the fight they had had.

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"Just give me a moment." Rasniel said before rushing out of the door after Lucifer, and he could see the demon is already at the end of the hallway. "Wait!" Rasniel yelled and tried to catch up. Luckily the halls of hell is large enough for him to spread out his wings and he took off. The new "tendril wing" flapped strong along with his original feathery wing, and quickly closed the distance between the two. But Rasniel wasn't used to the nuances of his new organ and pretty much slammed himself to the ground in front of Lucifer. Ignoring the pain he raised his head and said: "Wait a second, I just want to say something."

 

Seeing the demon had stopped to look at him with a mixture of surprise and anger Rasniel sighed in relief. At least Lucife wasn't ignoring him. He stood up from the floor and took a deep breath, then looked straight into Lucifer's eyes and said: "You're right Lucifer. Belial isn't mine, and I can't say with certainty that I love him. I mean I was an angel not long ago and all I knew was the "love" from god, and it isn't the kind of love Belial wants. You're also right that I'm using him for my own needs and desire. But I do care for Belial. Whether it's friendship or respect or desire or universal love or romantic love I don't know, I simply don't know yet. But I do know is that I don't want to hurt him."

 

Rasniel paused for a moment to catch some breath, then he continued: "So..Lucifer, if one day I bring him more sorrow than joy, if one day I break his heart so bad that he no longer wish to see me, feel free to take him back. In fact, please take him back and ease his pain. And at that point if seeing me in shreds could make him feel better, I'd appreciate it if you could do so. And...that's about it."

 

Rasniel bowed to Lucifer before rushing back to Belial. He simply wanted to spill out his thoughts to Lucifer and was too nervous to observe the demon's reaction. Soon he was back at Belial's side, and Rasniel knew Belial had probably heard their conversation given his prowess, and this made him a bit embarrassed. Rasniel asked with the light blush on his face : "So...........lunch time?'

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Belial moved to take off after Rasniel but despite himself he let his love do as he wished. He watched as Lucifer turned and looked at him piercing through his soul with disgust and anger and surprise. Belial moved though when Rasniel started speaking, he was flattered that Rasniel would do such a thing but he knew even these words could not dull the pain in Lucifer's chest. He himself felt pain in his chest, Rasniel hadn't said he loved him, but he hadn't said he didnt either. Meaning Belial was in a waiting game to hear Rasniel tell him he loved him.

 

He turned easily not even speaking to Rasniel and he sighed gently looking back at lucifer who looked like he was about to break down again. He easiily spoke to him through their minds telling him they could talk later when they didnt have an audience. He then turned to Rasniel, "Yea...lunch.." he said almost hurt like and moved an arm around Rasniel's shoulders to guide him the way. But when he noticed what he had done he dropped his arm from the boy and sighed moving away from him, he hadn't missed the part that he was being used, again..and it rather hurt his feelings. He may be a bad ass devil but he still got hurt when it came to his personal matters.

 

He walked slowly to the dining room which was bustling with familiar faces of his servants. He smiled gently as the oldest and most loyal demon came up to him and hugged him. "Ah~ Belial you look wonderful...so handsome as always!" he heard the man speak and a blush formed on Belial's cheeks.

 

"Ah Ryo you flatter me too much! Ryo this is my friend Rasniel...Rasniel this is Ryo. He and I have been down here just about as long as one another, though technically I was here first..." he said and winked at Ryo. "If you ever need anything he is the guy I would prefer you to ask...he has no grudge against me or you so it is best you ask him for help." he said and smiled at the man who nodded and hugged Rasniel before he ran off as his name was called. "He is decades old but still looks like he is thirty.." Belial chuckled and shook his head pulling the chair out next to his own for Rasniel.

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"Nice to meet you Ryo." Rasniel smiled and accepted the man's embrace. He was expecting hostility or at least suspicion so he was quite relieved to find out that someone besides Belial was friendly to him. He sat down at the seat Belial had pulled for him, and looked around the dinning hall curiously like a child at an amusement park. "This is such a luxurious place! I don't think the entire heaven is as glittering as this single room. Frankly it's a bit unsettling for me..in a good way of course. Was it your idea or whoever built this place prefer this style?"

 

Soon the food was served and just the smell was more appetizing than anything Rasniel has ever seen or even heard of. He tried to be as polite and civilized as possible while eating, but can't help doing so in a joyful frenzy. After the meal was done Rasniel leaned back on the chair with a satisfied expression. He put his hand on his belly which was so full that it was almost painful, and turned to smile at Belial: "Thanks Belial. Until today I've never thought eating is so enjoyable. Now I can see why people are so obsessed about eating."

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Belial chuckled and he blushed lightly, "I was the first demon...first person here...first person to make what this is..." he said gently. "I made this...and it has been helped by many demons after me that have helped me make it to this beautiful home that it is." he said gently and smiled to Rasniel. "And its luxurious because it houses the Kind...usually the King sits upon a thron but I sit in my huge home heh and everyone knows who I am without even bothering to wear a crown or anything." he said and smiled gently.

 

He started to eat slowly with Rasniel chuckling as he watched him, "Careful you may just choke on something!" he laughed softly and kissed the boys cheek. "I'm just teasing you...anyway yes most of your human desires are hightened after you are here...so food, alcohol...sex...all are more pleasurable to you here than they were on Earth." he said gently and chuckled before he took a drink of his wine. "Anyway I'm happy you like ita as well as my home!" he said happily and sat down the glass leaning back in his chair. "I have a feeling you will want to rest some more after?" he asked him gently.

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"Rest?" Rasniel looked at Belial with a puzzled look and said: "Why need rest? I've been sleeping for days, the least I need is to take a break. There's so much I want to see and learn around here! I remember you said you have a awesome library right? Can I go and have a look sometime?" when he talked about library there seems to be light shining in his eyes.

 

Then he suddenly fell silent and moved slowly away from Belial and stared at him: "Unless......" Then he smiled as he leaned back towards Belial until they were only inches apart, and looked at Belial with a playful and suggestive look: "Unless you want to join me on the bed.....Do you?"

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Belial chuckled gently looking him over, "Ah well yes I do have a large and very vast library if you would like to see it at some time. I would love to show you! Anytime you want to! "He smiled gently and glanced over Rasniel noticing the look in his eyes remembering the angle had been a scribe. "I think you would enjoy being int the library...its beautiful in there..."he said gently almost the same light shown in his eyes as he talked about the large and spacious room full of paper and hard bound leather books. He sighed gently stretching his wings around him before folding them against his back and he stopped moving all together hearing Rasniel speak. "A-ah...join you...? in bed...?" he asked looking at Rasniel and he blushed a little darker.

 

He then shook his head to get himself out of that land and he sighed gently looking away, "How about...we go to the library and see where it goes from there...trust me I would love to sleep with you...but...I cant help but feel its nothing like all the other times.."he said under his breathe the last part and smiled brightly. "Plus, I want to show you the library! I think it will make you really happy! And I'm assuming you'll sleep with me tonight till ya know your room gets fixed up so I mean we have all night.." he said gently trying to hide the fact that he was scared. What Rasneil had said hadn't stopped playing on a loop in his mind, he was being used for nothing but Rasniel's personal desire and pleasure. He had said it to lucifer and he had said it knowing he would hear but still turned around to ask him if he would fuck him? When he was just a toy? He hated it...he was King he should be using people not the other way around. He sighed and stood smiling to Rasniel, "Come on! I'm excited now to show you! But if you get tired let me know...you have been sick and out of it for the past few days and I'm worried...so if you start feeling down just tell me and I'll take you to my room." he said gently and winked at the male.

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"Hmm?................OK! Let's go to the library then!" Rasniel smiled after a brief moment of hesitation. It seems he had misjudged Belial's intention. From Belial's desire to stay in the bedroom with him when Lucifer was yelling outside, and his earlier suggestion for Rasniel to take a rest Rasniel thought for sure that Belial was luring him for bed. But it seems like Belial was genuinely worried about his condition. "It's such complicated thing....to understand the feeling of others" Rasniel thought to himself.

 

Rasniel walked along side Belial down the hallways of this grand mansion, and continued to ponder about his relationship with him. But his thoughts was soon interrupted when the doors opened. "Wow..............!" Rasniel couldn't help himself but to spread his wings and fly up, trying to get a better view of the huge space and what seems like endless rolls of books occurred in front of his eyes.

 

"This is almost as large as the library of heaven! I assume with its inclusion of things usually forbidden up there you may even have a bigger collection!" Rasniel said with great excitement.

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Belial walked with Rasniel to the library humming lightly to himself still looking over at his new found lover looking for any signs of stain or stress that may want him to go back into bed. Belial himself wouldnt touch Rasniel less he knew he was alright, and the boy never moved first...it seemed that Belial was the only one wanting any such thing. He was greeted at the library by the two men standing outside of it like that at every door in the home. He nodded to them and they moved opening the door for the pair before taking their place at either side of the door.

 

Belial smiled softly as he walked into the room looking over Rasniel as he flew into the air slightly looking at the tons and tons of shelves all around them. "We may have the same amount actually or even more...some things we can not have here because they are holy...and they would perish coming into here but some of the scrolls and books that are here are the same ones that are in Heaven. But yes, just like heaven has holy books we have damned ones...ones that can not go into heaven for it would corrupt everything in its path. So, it may just be a tie." he chuckled and moved around touching the books that were at shoulder length with him.

 

The library was a large circular room with shelves on the walls going all the way up to the ceiling which had a dome like structure on the top with windows so you could see the red sky above. In the center of it all were smaller vertical shelves with even more books on them and small sitting chairs were in the middle for someone to sit and read. He smiled gently and walked to the seat leaning against the arm of the chair. "So...I take it you like it...?" he asked smiling up at Rasniel. He wanted nothing more than to make him happy, so he would stay with him, so he wouldn't be used. But he knew all to well that even when you try your hardest sometimes people just do nothing but hurt you.

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"Yeah! I like this place, A LOT!" Rasniel smiled like a child and began to skim through the titles of the books on the shelves. Even with his ability as a former heavenly scribe It would take decades, if not centuries for Rasniel to go through just a corner of this place, and the thought of endless knowledge, many forbidden to him, now is all available at his finger tips was almost thrilling for him. He picked up a book on dark magic and flipped through its pages, gaze through the lines like a scanner and storing all data in his mind. Then another one, and another one.

 

After finishing a few books within seconds he stopped and turned to look at Belial with a shy smile: "Sorry I got a bit too excited and forgot about you." He put the books back on the shelves and flew to Belial's side. "Enough reading for today, there're plenty of time for that. Let's do something YOU want to do for a turn. Have any ideas?"

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Belial chuckled and watched as Rasniel made himself at home hovering in the air as he picked up book after book and setting them all down after skimming every last page in the novel. He sighed and sat down closing his eyes listening to the soft sounds of pages turning, he had read every book in this library many times over and he smiled lightly as he knew Rasniel would do the same. However when he heard the pages stop and he peeked up Rasniel was next to him speaking to him.

 

"Oh no no I dont mind staying in here, I have read everything in here so I dont mind just listening.." he chuckled and ran a hand through his hair. "There isnt much I really want to do...this place is all new to you and I'm doing nothing but making sure you know every inch of it...but I think we are doing what ever you want." he said chuckling lightly aa blush running over his cheeks as he ran a hand through his hair. He really just wanted to love on him but he knew better than to expect that from a sick person who didnt even love him. He looked about them and sighed, "I honestly kinda knew we would be in here for awhile." he chuckled softly.

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".......Alright then. Then I guess I'll enjoy myself here a bit longer." Rasniel smiled as he was about to go back to the shelves, then he turned back at Belial and said: "You know..Belial....All of this is quite new and challenging for me. As you know angels don't really 'interact' with each other, and even if we do there isn't much to interact about anyways. We were mindless servants, cogs in a machine. I've seen how humans interact but it's a totally different thing when you're in it personally. So.....I don't really know what to do, what to say, and I'm simply bad at understanding what other people are thinking and feeling. So if there's anything you want from me, anything I can do for you please say so, or I may not be able to notice it."

 

Rasniel kissed Belial lightly before flew back to the book shelves, and quickly absorbing all the knowledge he could. But he also kept an eye of Belial and checked what he was doing from time to time, and almost every time found Belial looking at himself. The gaze wasn't unpleasant, but it him a strange feeling and made his face red, which he hides behind the books for reasons even he couldn't quite understand.

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Beilal felt himself heat up slightly and the heat run across his cheeks as he didn't have time to kiss Rasniel back before he was gone. He watched after the male and he sighed lightly, he would love to tell him what was going on within his thoughts and his feelings but its the fact you could be rejected that hurts the most. He looked down at his hands and he clutched and unclutched them before he looked up at Rasniel again connecting eye contact with him before he looked away. Then again, Belial had nothing to lose, and only everything to gain by telling Rasniel how he really felt. He hadn't come straight out and told Rasniel that he loved him, but he had dropped small hints about it here and there that would give someone to believe he loved him. He ran a hand through his hair and groaned softly, everything was so confusing so mixed up. But he knew he had someone to fall back on that would take him back with open arms and open bed and do the daylights out of him right when he came back.

 

As he looked up at Rasniel however, he knew that he didn't want to be with anyone else. This angle was someone he had slowly come to know, and had slowly taught, someone he had given his trust to ten fold. They had practically lived together for a day or so before they had to part ways momentarily to take care of personal matters. Lucifer had never cared for him that way, never once stayed and slept with him after their night of fun, Belial knew that he was in love with the angle but he was frightened of his words if he came and told him the truth. He didn't want to be rejected, not by Rasniel, not by this beautiful being with his mix matched wings held every part of awe and love Belial had in his corrupted body.

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Rasniel continued to read for a while, but gradually he found his attention being drawn more and more by the gaze of Belial, and every time he looked at him and their eyes met, it gave Rasniel a strange feeling, as if a fite being lit inside him and slowly growing larger and larger.

 

Soon he could no longer concentrate on the books and he put them back on the shelves. He flew back beside Belial and said: "That's enough reading for now...I mean it this time! I need some time to process the knowledge anyways.......I.....umm......" Rasniel scratched his head slightly and said: "Umm...Belial....Can I ask you something? Umm...I have this...this strange feeling inside me...and the more you look at me it just kind of got bigger... and ....I don't know...."

 

Rasniel walked closer to Belial and took a seat beside him, and contined : "And for some reason the closer I got to you this feeling also got stronger.... it's not unpleasant though, well actually it is a bit unpleasant, like...like something is about to explode inside me....What is this? What shoukd I do?"

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Belial silently sat thinking about his duties and about Lucifer and mostly about Rasniel as he simply watched the angle in question concentrate on the papers before him. Every so often he would notice the small angle look back at him and he would blush lightly before looking away quickly back down at his books. Belial chuckled lightly to himself and silently kept on being silent watching him go through book after book picking up almost all of Belial's favorites without even really thinking. Belial thought that was neat, that they had the same interests and the same curiosity in these subjects.

 

He looked up blinking slightly as he noticed Rasniel was next to him and he smiled softly chuckling, "Really done reading this time? Its a lot to take in you read a ton.." he said softly and then his smile faded slightly as he watched Rasniel as he spoke. "yea you can ask me anything.." he said gently and watched Rasniel as he now completely having his full attention. Belial smiled softly and looked over Rasniel's face and he chuckled gently.

 

"Rasniel...I think thats kind of...how I feel toward you.." he said gently and looked away out at the bookshelves. "The more I look at you and the more time I spend with you...the more nervous I get when I'm with you...and the more I want to impress you." he said softly and ran a hand through his hair. "I think you like me thats it...but I'm not sure..." he smiled softly and tilted his head looking at Rasniel. "I think maybe you may start falling for me here soon if you haven't already..." he smirked before he sighed lightly looking down. "Rasniel I can't tell you how you feel about me...but what you just described to me is exactly how I felt with you before I came to the conclusion that I loved you..and that I wanted to be with you physically and emotionally and romatically...not just universal.." he said gently.

 

"As for what you should do Rasniel what feels right? What do you think you should do in order to help these feelings either pass or stay..?" he asked softly smiling gently to Rasniel. "I'll try and help you as much as I can...but...I gave in and I decided to keep the feelings...however if they are unpleasent to you then you may wish them to pass...what you feel is right is what you should do Rasniel.." he said softly and looked over the boys face.

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"Love?..............Is this.....love?" Rasniel put his hand on his heart, lowering his head and closing his eyes. He focused his attention deep inside him to feel the growing sensation deep down, letting it grow, letting it take over his body, and surrendering himself to its impulses. Then Rasniel opened his eyes and looked at Belial confused and worried: "Is there a difference...between love and desire? How can you tell one from another? I think....I think that I want you, to be with you, to feel and be felt by you...but what if it's just desire? What if this isn't the love you wanted?"

 

Rasniel looked like he was about to cry, out of confusion, out of fear, and out of desire, and instinctively he leaned on Belial, seeking comfort, seeking assurance.

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Belial sighed softly, everything was so complicated when it came to someone who understood nothing and you had to simply teach them everything about what you felt inside. He pulled the small boy into his arms against his chest as he laid back on the small couch they sat in running a hand through the boys white locks. "Desire and love sometimes coexist within someone....I desire you...I wish to touch you and be touched by you but not in a lustful way. I desire, I need to have you touch me in order for myself to know you at least want me in some way." he said softly running his hands down the boys back shushing him gently. "If you can't love me the way I want...then I'll just try and be here for you the way you want..But sometimes there isnt a difference not when you desire to love the person you are desiring for." he said softly and he smiled at Rasniel.

 

"I dont have all the answers you are looking for Rasniel...only you know the answer to how you feel...I desire you to love me...and I desire your body as well but I do not need it. I desire more the affections of your heart than that of the nights we share together..' he said softly almost sadly. "But if it is love...no.." he fought for words as his eyebrows formed a line. "Even if this is love for you...you can still desire me in the way you mean without it meaning just lust.." he said softly nodding as he hugged the boy harder to his chest.

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Rasniel moaned slightly as he was being held tightly in Belial's arms. The strong hold and his warmth was reassuring for Rasniel as he felt his anxiety and fear disappear. In a way it was similar to the feeling when Rasniel was back I heaven and could feel God's presence, inly this love, this warmth now belong to Rasniel alone. And this thought made Rasniel unbelievably happy.

 

Rasniel raised his head and look at Belial and asked : "Then....just for reference, how do you wish to touch me, and be touched by me? Maybe we can start to work from there and see if I like it as well?"

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Belial blinked slightly trying to help the man but having a hard time in doing so for he really never needed to talk to someone about this before. He smiled gently and leaned closer to Rasniel and he sighed, "I want to touch you in the romantic way..not just sexual...so soft kisses and holding you and such.." he shook his head and laughed softly. "Its really stupid...I want to kiss you constantly...and never stop touching you...never stop hugging you or holding you...or stroking your wings..everything about you i want to be apart of." he said gently and his fingers ran from the boys ear to his chin tilting his face up to Belial's. He leaned down hesitantly and looked at Rasniel before he leaned down filling the gap and he pressed his lips against Rasniels.

 

He wanted nothing more than to be apart of this angles life, he wanted to be with him in every way possible. He wanted to kiss Rasniel for hours, and he wanted to hold him as they settled down for the night to dream if they could or to just lay there. He wanted to spend his time with this angle and it was something he hadn't felt in a long while. Even with Lucifer this feeling was never there with them and he didn't wish it to be, he wanted it with Rasniel and no one else. However, if Rasniel decided to take this...and love him...he would be the King's lover. He would be the kings only lover and only change...the only thing to keep his mind out of his work.

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