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Say Whatever You Want XXI


Saga

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Xanax and risperidone doesn't work right now... What should I do??? Already had two tabs of risperidone... Should I take olanzapine too? I'm tempted. Maybe if I drink all this I can sleep forever...

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aahhh, some person has posted lots of pictures of book covers from Moby dick in ma' feed.

:cuteonion55: Those pictures are S-c-a-r-y ! !

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Last night I had a dream about pirates, zombie pirates and vampire pirates. It was gory. A gnome stole something using a minion that caused a giant tsunami that washed everyone away. Through the whole dream my one goal was to steal $7.50 in silver coins to buy three white chocolate bars.

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Ouch! That's frustrating. I was on olanzapine for a while but it did nothing at all. Are you taking these meds for sleep or for depression/anxiety? If you're taking them for sleep, I've found the best thing is melatonin under the brand name Circadin. Some antihistamines can be prescribed for insomnia too. How about valerian or over the counter sleeping pills?

 

I could just be telling you stuff you already know though. >.

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Thanks

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I have risperidone, depakote and xanax for bipolar disorder. Xanax usually helps me sleep. Except some nights it doesn't really work.melatonin ai use is sleepasil(over the counter). It sucks... Specially most of the time it happens for no reason at all... It just happens.. You cant sleep you start overthinking until you didn't notice it's already morning. Now I start palpitating...

 

I wish you well...

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I have bipolar too. I'm on laurasidone (Latuda) and duloxetine (Cymbalta). Seroquel used to work well for sleep for me but I had to keep upping the dose and became dependent on it. It had some nasty side effects if a missed a dose too. getting off it was horrid! Over the counter melatonin isn't the same as the melatonin your doctor prescribes. Circadin is much stronger.

 

Mine happens for no reason too. I can be dead tired and still not sleep for 3 days then conk out for 24 hours. I once went to hospital because I was in so much agony from not sleeping. They just gave me temazapam (which doesn't work for me) then sent me home. I don't always overthink at night. Sometimes I just lay there blank and exhausted but my body just doesn't turn off. I'm supposed to have a sleep study done but the sleep clinic told me my referral was filled out incorrectly so they had to contact my doctor. My dad's insisting I see the doctor this week.

 

What causes the palpitations? That's kinda scary. Is it possible there's something besides bipolar and medication that's causing your insomnia?

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it's hard for docs to give me meds since I also have ADHD.. i was first diagnosed with adult ADHD(inattentive) until my meds doesnt work and I was told I was misdiagnosed to Bipolar type 2. So my meds changed. Until I got admitted to psych ward and had continues check ups they confirmed I have both. Adhd inattentive then bipolar type 1. The current meds I drink is mild because it will make a huge effect on my adhd. Many people say we have this box thoughts in our heads where we can use therapy to organize it... I always explain to them my disorders is like NOT HAVING A BOX and everything is scattered everywhere. It's hard. People with adhd explaining me this. People with bipolar disorder explaining me that. Only few I know who has both...

 

My sleep is always between 3-5 hours or none. Sometimes because of my meds(mood stabilizer)

but if I dont drink it I'll become irritable.

 

Sorry, I'm talkative when manic..

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Aaaah. Yeah. Multiple disorders makes it tricky. I can't go on some meds because I have PCOS and diabetes type 2 as well. How does ADHD affect your meds and your symptoms? I can't believe ADHD and bipolar could be mixed up! They are so different. Wow, type 1 bipolar. That's hard. I get hypomania but not full-blown mania. It's amazing you can still sit at a computer while manic! For me it's like there is no thoughts, just impulse and emotion. I don't think of anything, just feel and do. It's just WHEEEEEEEEEEE! ... until I realise I'm hypomanic and get irritable, restless and angry about being manic.

 

I go between a few hours of sleep, fractured sleep and too much sleep. It changes all the time. Everything changes, nothing lasts.

 

It's all good. I like talking to people. ^.^ I get so lonely at times and talking about mental illness sort of helps relieve the stress.

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I'm glad to meet you too... :) and that's hard... Pcos and diabetes? :(

 

I become more restless if I take in too much mood stabilizers. It's like I'm not allowed to have a chill moment. It gets mixed up specially some symptims are the same. But the manic and depressive episodes differ big time. When I was diagnosed with adhd I don't have much tantrums. I was only restless and never get to work properly due to daydreaming XDD but when things got worse I had a huge tantrum that my psychiatrist doesn't get why I was diagnosed with adhd. I'm confused as well. I jump from one doctor to another. I had 7 doctors until I was diagnosed properly. Once I was even judged by a doctor himself saying I don't look like I have a problem. I walked out.

 

And yea when I'm under mania whatever I decide, Iwill do. Noone can stop me unless you give me a shot or tie me in bed. But that's traumatic. When I'm depressive I'm not gonna move an inch.

 

The hardest part for me is psychosis... I hallucinate... At first I have auditory... Then visual... Then tactile.. It's scary not to knwo what's real or not... Scary that I disocciate sometimes.. Yknow when you feel things but its not there.. Like worms climbing your feet you scratch them til you bleed. I'm still lucky ai have my son to tell me if it's real or not. Like I hallucinate the water is mud.. My son will drink it, saying I'm hallucinating again.

 

This is oneof my coping mechanism XD I'd rather talk to people than listen to what my brain is currently saying.

 

 

WOW I TALK TOO MUCH O.O

 

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Yeah. It's all inherited. I've got illness everywhere in my family. I'm SO glad I don't have schizophrenia like my mum or brother.

 

Strange. I would have thought mood stabilisers would help with restlessness. Then again, there are antidepressants that I can't take because they cause suicidal thoughts. My brother was once on a medication that caused him to become seriously suicidal. We're lucky he's still around.

 

I'm fairly stable at the moment... besides sleep. I'll be going back to work in the new year. I'd look for work now but I'm going to be away for a lot of January.

 

I was first diagnosed with depression/anxiety in 2002. From there it went to cyclothymia to bipolar 2. It's strange how mental illnesses change over time. I've been in and out of doctors, psychologists, psychiatrists and mental health nurses since 2002. I had one psychologist this year for sleep who decided my chronic insomnia was too heavy for her to handle. She passed me off to another psychologist who said he knew about insomnia but didn't end up knowing jack shit! His suggestions were to either lay in bed awake all night or get up and stay up until you're so tired you conk out. Not smart.

 

WTF?! Being told you don't "look" like you have something. Admittedly the mental health centre I go to, the janitor said I don't look like I have anything wrong with me. He said with most people you can tell there is something different with them. I do look different though because of my PCOS. I have a pregnant looking belly.

 

Ya. My uppers and downers are very different as well. When I'm up I can around around screaming in public, singing at the top of my lungs, doing whatever comes to mind, spinning in a circle and go out without bra, undies and shoes. When I'm depressed it can be anything from just sitting silently with no energy to a deep, dark hole. I get derealisation and depersonalisation too but that hasn't happened in ages. It's like the world is there but you cannot connect with it and it is less real than something you read in a novel. You have to touch everything, like fences as your walking, to feel that it exists. OR you don't feel as if you are real, that your feel estranged from your emotions and sense of self. It's weird.

 

I only hallucinate when my depression is really bad. I see mice and cockroaches, hear them scurrying around, feel them up my legs and hunt for them but nothing is there. My partner doesn't see them and there seriously would not be a cockroach running across her face. >.

 

Wow! I'm I'm so jealous of you having kids! I would love to have kids but I don't think I could handle them. I can barely take care of myself and I'm not financially stable.

 

Ew, true. I should never listen to my brain. I start brooding about what worthless person I am. I stop the thoughts by daydreaming about other things like stories and roleplays.

 

- - - Updated - - -

 

Oh heavens! That was long >..

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speaking of schizophrenia one of my docs have listed me as a potential patient of "schizoaffective disorder" it's bipolar with high psychosis I think. Not as bad as schizopheria itself but still is bad and scary. I get scared by the thought that my hallucinations will become worse one day. And I have to live with it forever. Without maintenance Im done. My famtho never believed of it. They see me as irresponsible lazy shit because they aren't familiar with mental things. That I just needed prayers and I'm possessed. I was already down and they buried me by turning their backs on me. Only few in our family have mental disorders and most of them hide it because it seems taboo. Stigma is real in my fam.

 

Yea we're not allowed to have antidepressants(some may tho) because when we're down, we're really low. Antidepressants causes mania to a higher level. Making a person decide suicide-and just do it.

 

I'm never stable XD that's my problem. No chill time. When I'm high I'm like at 946758197664th floor. When I'm low it's like -949763854887th below. When I'm on meds I get a little 459th floor up and below. But still is bad enough. That's howbbipolarity rolls. We have this two poles so far from each other and we leap from one pole to the other.. The switching is extreme. We are extremes. My adhd helps the leaping too(which isnt really a good help). Thing is, i wish I knew this sooner. I was only diagnosed 3 years ago and I'm 25. Been dealing with tantrums and veing different since I was little... If I knew I had adhd and was treated earlier, i would honestly think my life wouldn't be as hard as now. I had attempted suicide many times when i was in highschool((age 13-17). I started drinking and smoking at age 13. My family never bothered. That's the only complaint I have... They never see it as "something's wrong" they only thought I'm a blacksheep of some sort.

 

Not all doctors are helpful. Really. I move to the next doctor as soon as I felt neglected by the first one.

 

Its good to have someone that helps you identify whether you're hallucinating or not. My son is just 10. He also have adhd(combined). Mostly we trigger each other. But the meds help us both. We help each other as well. Our house is chaotic when we are triggered. Upside down all things scattered when one has a tantrum. I just don't want him to end up like me. One day you'll have a child too... Never give up on that.

 

XD i guess we're both manic talkative right now hahaha

 

 

Maybe we can continue on messages XDD

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hahaha aaaww that sounds hard. I'm so tierd =_= but hey, Thursdays are my Fridays (I work part time) so my Fridays are my 'bonus day' ^^

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oh are u getting sick? I want to have a cold too... -_-

It feels good to sneeze

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yeah... it’s awful... my unlucky streak continues today it seems. But honestly my last thre Wednesday were always the worst day of the week...

 

Hahaha and you are the first I hear of saying you like a good sneeze. Must be like an orgasm by nose for you :p

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Yeah, I have a cold ACHOO- (sniff, sniff) (-_- ) I feel like an old granny these days :D

WAIT what?! No way! But- the season of flu begins! You can catch it from another person very easily :D

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Hi dear

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!

 

 

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CRYSTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALD foxy3 awwww my sweet

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:o thank you so much :o you made my day foxy3

 

tumblr_oltayyHynP1sy5k7wo1_500.gif

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wait wait what?!? Its f-f-flu- time now ??

Nnnooooo I do NOT wanna have the flu. Man, I had it once and I got über sick, I only wants the sneezes..... my Co worker has children..

-____- I always get sick from them -______-

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*pat pat* I wish I could go to your job and give you "happy Wednesday muffins" to keep up the spirit for you ^^.

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