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Birthday forum


Rebel Heart
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I was wondering if it was ok to add an birthday forum, were friends can congratulate each other, surprise the birthday boy/girl making a nice thread.

 

It will give a nice good atmosphere.

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you'll know whose birthday it is on each day by checking the bottom part of the forum. And I think not everyone wants their birthday celebrated publicly and doesn't really want to get the attention and all. So if we want to congrats our friends on their day i think it's enough to send it through PM or VM. Of course, that's just my opinion and not speaking for anyone else so it can just be me lol.

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I don't think it is a good idea either.

Imagine that a lot of users get threads created for them - that's nice, yes.

But how about one user being forgotten on their birthday? It happens, the board is huge, many users are online daily.

At least once one user wouldn't have a thread created for their birthday [as a surprise]. That would only make them feel really upset, and we want to avoid that.

 

As Tet said, some users (like myself) don't like attention, especially on their birthday.

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never seen that happen before, people getting annoyed over this, And I have been around on many boards. But if we only going to see this from a negative point of view then sure.

 

I mean there will always be people who feel annoyed or sad but if we going to let these emotions decide then I think that is a kind of weak.

 

There allot of people only downloading and reading and not ever participating so of course not everyone will be remembered and sometimes people forget, Some people tend to go inactive to come back later. And those who don't like the attention don't have to react at all, it's their choice. And besides I think most people will know who likes it and who don't.

 

To think people will make such a big fuss about a birthday topic, this is the first time I hear this as a reason to not do it.

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The point here is not whether one will make a fuss or not. Nor the point is, 'never heard/seen that before'. If my brain, for just a second, saw such an outcome - then it means, it's possible.

What I am saying here is - we want to avoid a possible scenario wherein a person creates:

- drama

- a bin of points of the 'negative view' about YaoiOtaku as a community.

 

Moreover, one who feels bad does not always make a fuss of it. I wouldn't want someone to feel bad for having their birthday missed in that 'birthday forum'.

 

 

Yes, there will be always people that dislike something, true.

However, in such times you gotta 'weight' the pro's and con's of the suggestions made for future, and if it gives a room for possible 'bad end' (which overpowers the 'good end'), we often avoid that.

 

If you want to give attention to the person having a birthday, you can always send them a PM/VM.

Nothing bad about it.

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So basicly what you are saying is that most people the majority here on this forum will start making a fuss or drama when there birthday is forgotten or when they get unwanted attention, way to go to think about your own community.

 

Besides you cannot know for sure this will be the outcome, I mean why is it possible on other boards but not on this one.

 

it really sets a negative view if you talk in such a way about members on this forum (like were not old enough to think for ourself) you cannot always avoid bad things form happening. But just saying outright no to this because of something that could happen is really stupid.

 

I find it really disappointing, but oh well I'm not going to sleep less because of it, I just think it is a missed chance because giving people some extra attention can create a better atmosphere, and that always weights much more then the negative points you just said.

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So basicly what you are saying is that most people the majority here on this forum will start making a fuss or drama when there birthday is forgotten or when they get unwanted attention, way to go to think about your own community.

 

Tell me now, where I said that. Point me the sentence which uniquely said, "that most people the majority here on this forum will start making a fuss or drama when there birthday is forgotten or when they get unwanted attention"

 

Point me that, because I want to see where I said it.

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That is the suggestion you are creating, because I cannot see any other reason why not too. Because I never have seen any other board using this as an reason.

 

Why else would you be bothered by it, you can easily manage it is it wouldn't be such a big problem. But the reasons you are giving are suggesting it that it is a huge problem, this it involves allot of people.

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Just stating MY opinion (no offense to anyone)

 

I for example don't want to get a thread for my birthday created. Just because I don't want "false congratulations" from users I never had anything to do with.

I am a person not even having many friends on Facebook for example. I have 21 people on the list where I know 15 in real life too. These I like getting congratulations off, the others simply forget about it anyway so I don't care for example.

But I don't want the forum of whatever thousand users wish me a happy birthday just because the "feel the need of writing it since the board/thread is there". That is another point users might feel "forced" to congratulate others even if they don't know/like/care/whatever for that other user just because of the "community force" (even if it isn't a theme here!)

If I want to congratulate someone in the forum I send a PM or VM. I guess that is absolutly enough to show gratitude and it is way more personal than writing a thread in my eyes.

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I can understand that kurai, but still that depend from person to person, I never feel forced to do anything I don't want but like I said this is different with every person. I think people will understand if you are just honest about it.

 

But it seems on this board it will be to much of a hassle, if people go about it the negative way even before it has been tried then it might not work anyway.

 

For me these reasons seems just silly but I guess I'm the odd one here then.

 

Just close this because it is pointless to hassle about it. It's fine as it, we can just send each other pm's and sorry for suggesting it in the first place if it brings such negative emotions.

 

And saga no I don't understand you att all, everything you are saying has such a strong negative sense to it. Everything you say hasn't even been into my mind until people here brought it up.

 

My thoughts about it where just about it how fun it would be if we could wish people a happy birthday, nothing more nothing less.

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That is the suggestion you are creating, because I cannot see any other reason why not too. Because I never have seen any other board using this as an reason.

 

Why else would you be bothered by it, you can easily manage it is it wouldn't be such a big problem. But the reasons you are giving are suggesting it that it is a huge problem, this it involves allot of people.

 

No, I do not speak of mass, Rebel.

I speak of individuals here. We are not 'other communities'. We are we, ...aren't we?

Why are you trying to dub the different one into the norm of "everyone else"?

 

Check that out, this is not the point here.

 

Must I think of majority to reject something? No, I must not. From the very beginning I said - if a person.

One is enough, one single individual feeling like crap on their birthday because no one posted a thread to congratulated them is enough. You speak of 'stupidity' that one would feel bad if not given attention, but let me ask you... why do you need that section, then? Isn't it.. to make people feel special on that day? It must be that, right?

 

Then if one person feels special is not stupid...how one person that was missed to be made to feel special is ...stupid?

 

I do not see the community in the way you made it look I am seeing it. You yourself put these words into my mouth. And I don't appreciate when someone does it.

 

However. No where in my posts I said, 'I reject it'. I present you a possibility where that might happen and 'that' is not nice.

I don't know about other sites, to be honest. For the past five years I've spent my time on YaoiOtaku. I love this place, do you know why? Because here people don't think of the 'mass', the majority. Here people think of the individual.

 

Yes, indeed. People need 'the majority' to decide. However, in situations where something gets unfair on the behalf of an individual, the majority somehow becomes a sound that mutes out that individual - that's why it is unfair.

 

What I understood you mean is, 'fuck that one person, most will feel special'. Is that how I should interpret your idea?

 

(The previous message).

 

(Current message)

And saga no I don't understand you att all, everything you are saying has such a strong negative sense to it. Everything you say hasn't even been into my mind until people here brought it up.

 

Well, I'd want to say something as an end to that and I won't write anymore on this topic,

 

"The positive and the good will never harm anyone. The foreseeing though of a negative outcome can help you and save you. In regard which one you should always be wary of is, the negative side."

 

That's what I have to say, Rebel.

I am not the person who takes the final decision, it's Key. So I will step out,

 

Have a good day.

 

P.S. As for why my message disappeared and I am reposting it here, I thought you didn't see it. My bad.

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I think if you always think about the negative things which could happen in life then you can better sit in a room full of pillows and never get out ever.

 

Negativity should never overrule Positivity.

 

I don't think less of people who are being offend or can't handle some stuff, but what makes it really unfair is that other people have to suffer because of it. I think we are all mature and old enough to talk with each other and say out loud if we don't like something. You cannot prevent everyone form being hurt.

 

But well I'm just someone who sees everything in a positive way, and it never occur d to me that it could be such a hassle for some people.

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The poll has been created, it's an 1000 points poll, so everyone voting for either yes or no gets 1000 points. It will be open, as stated, 5 days.

 

Here's the ink:

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