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Unexpected reencounter [Yukonwolfspirit&Hideki] (Private)


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Ethan Cornwall

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Age: 29 years

Height: 1.81m

Hair colour: red

Eye colour: hazel

Occupation: Finance manager

Sexual orientation: homosexual

Biography: Ethan grew up in a conservative small town in a Christian household. He never really managed to connect to the people in the town and during his teenage years the town became a nightmare for him.

 

He was a nerd and an outcast in his high-school and was often bullied by his peers. Ethan only had one friend whom he knew from an early age on and with whom he was able to connect. The problem was that he had fallen in love with him and couldn’t tell him without ruining their friendship and without outing himself in a town like that.

 

The first day after he had finished high-school he left the small-town for a metropolis without telling anyone but his parents that he moved and where he moved to. Not even his best friend.

 

In his new city he outed himself and lived as an openly gay guy. He attended college, graduated and became a successful finance manager.

 

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Ethan couldn’t believe that he really stood in front of the entrance of his old high-school. He had sworn to never return to that place ever again on the day that he had left the town forever but there he was, staring at a banner that said:”School reunion” and the year of his graduation from high-school.

 

He didn’t want to enter the school nor was he keen on seeing the faces of his former classmates again, he didn’t even come back to that town for private reasons but because he was forced to by the company he worked for.

 

The red head worked for a company that produced and sold technology and he was the finance manager from the headquarters in the city he lived in. But now, because a colleague had become severely sick, he had to take the new subsidiary under his wings too and unfortunately it was located in the small town he had grown up in.

 

To top it all off, he hadn’t only had to see his parents in a grocery store who had disowned him and didn’t want to have anything to do with him since he had come out as gay to them over the phone with the safe distance of many kilometres between them, the subsidiary of his company was actually led by a former classmate of his, Jake, that he hated for good reasons.

 

Apparently Jake couldn’t imagine him possibly hating him so he talked to him as if they had been friends. They hadn’t though! And now Ethan stood next to that unpleasant guy in front of his personal hell, his old high-school.

 

Eger to just step inside for a few minutes and find an excuse to leave as soon as possible he entered the school hall, trying to stay close to the wall to not get noticed. He didn’t want to talk to anyone there; he just wanted to get the job done and return home to the city and his goldfish.

 

He hadn’t reckoned with Jake though. “Hey, isn’t that the guy you used to hang out with all the time back then?” he demonstratively pointed at another man with his finger.

Ethan’s heart skipped a beat. This was him. His former best friend he had shared so much with and whom he had been in love with. But not only hadn’t he told him about his feelings, he also had left without a word. Not even leaving a phone number, address or anything.

 

It was embarrassing and he hoped that his former friend hadn’t noticed his presence. He knew that it hadn’t been appropriate behaviour to just disappear like that. But at that time he hadn’t been able to tell him. It hadn’t been possible for him any longer to be just friends with him and to import him into his new life as a friend because he needed to get rid of those feelings for him.

 

Just when Ethan wanted to walk elsewhere and disappear into the crowd Jake held him back by the shoulder and exclaimed:”Hey, you! Yes, you, look who’s here, your friend Ethan.”

He wanted to punch Jake for being a complete moron when his hazel eyes met those of his former friend and crush. Now he knew that the other man knew that he was there.

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  • Yukonwolfspirit

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  • -Hideki-

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(Wow...so detailed -3- mine might look crappy!)

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Age:28

Name:Yukie

Hair color: white

Occupation: works as a mafia boss >:3

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Yukie looked at Ethan and glared his eyes cold and like daggers and his features much more cold and distant as a handsome man beside him glanced over at Ethan and whispered into yukies ear asking if he would be harmed by this man as Yukie laughed..."no sana...he's quite harmless we go way back..." he replied to his brown hair friend who stayed by his side seeming to be like a bodyguard.

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There was no doubt that Yukie had not much sympathy for Ethan anymore. The white haired man looked at him as if he wanted to stab him in the chest with his glare. And he got it; he understood why the other probably wasn’t happy to see him again after he had left like that.

 

Now Ethan realised that Yukie wasn’t alone. There was a brown haired man next to him whom the ginger had never seen before. That guy hadn’t gone to their school so why was he here? Was he Yukies friend or his partner? No, it couldn’t be, Yukie wasn’t gay like him! The finance manager tried to shake off his thoughts. Even if that guy was his lover, it shouldn’t matter to him. He was over him! There couldn't be any feelings left. He had left all of that behind. So if that dude fucked Yukie, he didn’t care. At least that was what Ethan tried to persuade himself into thinking.

 

It was obvious that the white haired man had no interest in talking to Ethan at all, so he wanted to really go elsewhere now, when Jake walked up to Yukie and his brunette friend, laying his arms around both men’s shoulders smiling. “And what are you doing for a living bro? I’ve just recently been promoted and guess who I meet then? Ethan! He is quite the big gun in the metropolis as it seems. I never thought that nerd would make it that far. But you probably know about all of this, since you’re friends and stuff.”

 

Now Ethan felt obligated to join the conversation. Of course Yukie didn’t know anything about the life he was living. His former friend didn't even know that he lived in a large city now. “No, he doesn’t know. We haven’t been in contact lately.” He told Jake. It was a massive understatement but Jake shouldn’t know more than necessary about him or how he had left the town back then.

 

The red headed man forced himself to smile then and turned to Yukies companion. “We haven’t been introduced to each other yet. My name is Ethan Cornwall, nice to meet you!” he said in a professional tone. Truth was, he wasn’t happy to see that guy on Yukies side and in Ethan’s hazel eyes glared rivalry.

He could only see competition in the other man and he didn’t like how he and Yukie would whisper into each other’s ears and seemed that close.

 

His dislike for that stranger confused him though. He had no feelings for Yukie anymore; he had got rid of them during the years in the city. Why would he care who the blue eyed man hung out with.

Of course Yukie had other friends and even if that guy was just a friend he probably had a girlfriend or was married by now. It wasn’t like his own life hadn’t gone on as well.

Good, he had broken up with his boyfriend two month ago and was single now but he still had many good friends in the city that he wanted to return to as fast as he could leave that rat’s nest.

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"Mmh well lets see my job is a bodyguard for Yukie...I keep him safe" Sana replied twisting jakes arm and throwing jake off of his master as he glared..at the unpolite man then turned to Ethan. "As for you, I suspect the way your glaring at me Ethan you think I'm yukies boyfriend maybe a passionate lover, I can assure you that sometimes I'm his lover when he's lonely because he doesn't date. But at first glance I didn't take you for being gay" he replied making Yukie snicker as he watched Sana amused. "To be fair I don't see why we had to travel all the way from our city in Japan to come see this town and this man it's quite boring" Sana admitted as he watched Ethan like a hawk.

 

"Sana manners..." Yukie replied as he tossed him a lighter. "Go outside and smoke I can handle myself around these two...besides I'm really surprised ones alive."

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Ethan didn’t really feel sorry for Jake since he remembered well that the other man had treated others badly in high-school as well but oddly enough he disliked Yukie’s bodyguard even more than he disliked Jake.

 

“Don’t overestimate your own importance and my interest in you. Unlike you, who probably didn’t enjoy a good breeding, I was just trying to be polite.” He opposed the other man.

That the guy realised and communicated that he suspected Ethan to be gay was rather unpleasant for him in that moment, at that time and in that company though.

 

It bugged him that he had been right and that this man actually fucked Yukie. It didn’t seem that there were feelings involved but he didn’t like the fact anyway. The mere case that Yukie indeed slept with men was what confused his mind and got him thinking though.

If Yukie had been gay or at least not averse to being with another man all along, Ethan could have told him about what he had been feeling back then without ruining their friendship. Heck, Yukie might have even loved him back. His assumption that Yukie hadn’t been like him and that he would have reacted hostile as most people in the town would have had, had mislead him and not only caused him agony but had destroyed not only the opportunity to be together as romantic partners but also their friendship.

Ethan felt like a massive fool for that.

 

When the brutal guy who had twisted Jakes arm like that was gone, Jake turned to Ethan. “Man that guy is an arsehole. I hope he slips on a banana skin and breaks his neck.” The former sportsman said.

“I can’t believe that I am saying that but I agree with you.” He nodded into Jakes direction and then turned around facing Yukie. “You seem to hang out with rather unpleasant folks these days.” He commented casually when Jake, who was a little slow sometimes, realised something.

 

“Wait a second!” he exclaimed. “You’re gay? You’re gay and a nerd? A gay nerd?” Jake wanted to know and drew the attention of some people who stood nearby towards Ethan. The finance manager’s first instinct at that location was to deny it for his own safety but then he realised that even though he was in this town, stood in his old high-school, next to the guy who had bullied him in the past but he wasn’t a student anymore. He wouldn’t come back to that place and Jake had no power to mistreat him everyday anymore. In fact, he now held power over Jake. One phone call and Jake would lose his job and would have a hard time getting a new one.

 

“Yes, I am gay.” He answered clearly and added:”Is there a problem with that Jake?” The reaction was immediate. Jake, who was still holding his hurt arm, shook his head. “No, of course not! We’re cool bro and Jesus loves you regardless.” He patted him on the shoulder. Ethan was completely baffled. “I don’t care about Jesus but are you sure that you are Jake Miller?” he wanted to know.

 

Even Jake seemed to get that hint. “The one and only!” he laughed. “I have a son you know. And one day after the death of my wife I thought: What would you do if he was a nerd or gay or something? And how would you want others to treat him? So I realised that I probably should change my ways.” The former school-yard bully explained. “I’m gonna get us a beer. I’ll be right back.” he smiled.

 

Ethan couldn’t really grasp it. Jake Miller had grown up to be a better parent than Ethan’s parents had ever been. He didn’t know how many more surprises he could bear that evening but decided to speak to Yukie again regardless.

“So, your dickhead of a lover said that you moved to Japan? That’s quite a distance. Do you like it there?” he asked and jokingly added:”And here I was, thinking that moving to the other end of the country would be far away enough from that shithole. You really came here all the way from Japan just for that? Honestly, I would have never come back to that place ever if it weren’t for my work. Unfortunately I met Jake in the morning and he dragged me along to that stupid reunion, otherwise, I wouldn’t stand in that hellhole they call a school.”

 

Just after he had said that, he realised that the arrogant jackass had said:”[...]to come see the town and that man[...].” and Ethan was quite sure that Yukie wouldn’t even travel a mile to see Jake Miller.

Could it be that he had wanted to see him? But Ethan would never have come there if it weren’t for those circumstances that had brought him there.

“Did that wanker tell the truth? You came to see me?” he asked unsure whether he’d like the answer or not.

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"I moved due to my grandfathers inheritance and the fact that my parents died two years after you left with no family living near me they shipped me back home to Japan to go live with my elderly grandfather." Yukie explained as he checked his phone his texts in Japanese as he replied simply and set his phone back in his pocket. "I came to see if you where alive yes...hence the tedious trip back here." Yukie admitted as he frowned at the name calling of his friend. "And I do ask you show Sana some respect...he keeps me protected and alive he's not just a simple fuck...he fucking made me learn how to flirt and pick up me when I was first in collage so if he did die I could still date" Yukie admitted with a smirk.

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Ethan froze for a moment. Yukie’s parents had died and he had to live with his grandfather in Japan now. So he hadn’t left the town on his own will? He hadn’t run from it as if his life had depended on it just as Ethan had done? The ginger realised that he had no clue about Yukie’s life and who the other was nowadays as Yukie had about him. The years had probably made strangers out of them, even though they once had been the best friends one could imagine. It was irritating and he didn’t like it at all but the frustrating fact was that it had been his own fault. The consequence of his decision.

“My sincerest condolences!” he said. “I had no clue that your parents had passed away.” he added unnecessarily.

 

Ethan chuckled. “So you still care about me in some ways. I really hope that you didn’t hope to find that I was dead.” He joked but it really was a possibility. He couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that Yukie searched for him in that town though because it had just been a coincidence that he was actually there.

 

The finance manager snorted disdainfully at the request. “I don’t see any reason why I should show a person like that respect. That brute openly and clearly disrespected me and someone who acts like that towards me doesn’t deserve my respect. In other words, if he acts like an arsehole, I’m calling him an arsehole. You too call a duck a duck and not a chicken, don’t you?”

He didn’t care about what that guy had done with or for Yukie, hearing that was unpleasant and he would rather not know it. “Good for you I guess. Even though I don’t understand why one would need to learn how to flirt.” He commented looking into Yukie’s blue eyes.

 

There were some mean thoughts about that brute running through his head but he kept them to himself to not upset Yukie. He still cared for him, even if he didn’t know much about him anymore.

Ethan couldn’t tell whether his former feelings for the other man had survived at the moment or not because there was too much of a distance between them still but he definitely physically desired him for sure.

 

Back then, when they had been friends in high-school, the desire had nearly driven him insane. He had felt like a monster, like the snake in paradise and guilty for wanting to press his friend up against the wall and shoving his tongue inside of his mouth, or throwing him onto the bed and fucking the brain out of him, while they had been playing video games or talked about their comic book collections.

Today he didn’t feel like a monster or guilty anymore. If somewhere deep inside of Yukie’s mind, the white haired man still liked Ethan, even if it was just a little, he would get it on with him and get close to him again and that bodyguard arsehole would be history.

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"Why didn't you ever make the first move in high school if you where gay...you had to have suspected just a little I might have been curious to experiment" Yukie admitted as he smiled a little and looked at Ethan. "I might have let you go all the way if you didn't run away mysteriously" he added as he sighed and played with a strand of hair..."do you have any kids or a family?" Yukie asked.

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He hadn’t seen that one coming. This question seemed out of nowhere now and he asked himself if it was that obvious that he had once loved Yukie. Being gay alone didn’t mean that he necessarily had had feelings for his former friend, so something else probably gave him away.

 

“I had no clue that you were that open about this back then. I thought that if you knew that I was gay our friendship would end instantly due to that information alone. And I thought you would be disgusted if you knew that I had fallen in love with you.” He explained. “That and I was insecure about myself and struggled to accept who I was. When your parents tell you that people who are like you are an abomination every time the subject comes up you start to believe that you must be wrong somehow.”

 

Knowing that Yukie would have let him go all the way with him back then didn’t help him now. It just made him regret that his teenage self had been that scared about facing himself because now that bodyguard had probably walked that path with Yukie frequently.

“It’s good to know that you wouldn’t have hated me. But to be honest, I don’t think that only experimenting and your body would have been enough for me at that time. I had a massive crush on you, you couldn’t even fucking believe how much I loved you.”

 

It seemed like the whole evening was filled with unpleasant questions and conversations for him. Family was nothing he liked to talk about either. “No, I am gay and I won’t adopt kids because I don’t want any. I had two long term relationships; I broke up with the last boyfriend a few months ago. As for family, I don’t have a family of my own and my parents had disowned and abandoned me as soon as I had told them that I am gay.” He answered truthfully and returned that question:” What about you? Is there someone else in your life than that bodyguard?”

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"Mmh somewhat I have two boys I adopted ones name is sin who's four the second one is Raven who's still an baby" Yukie replied with a soft smile as he pulled out some pictures for Ethan showing him the two boys. "As for relationship wise I sleep around and usually have Sana watch the kids if I need to leave if not granny is more then happy to babysit" Yukie admitted with a chuckle as he sipped some virgin punch. "If you ever need a vacation you should come visit my house is open to you if you wish to come stay for awhile."

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Much to his surprise Yukie had adopted kids and was now a father of two and that was a red flag for Ethan. The red head never dated guys who had or wanted kids, no matter if they had adopted kids or they had biological children from before they had come out as gay.

 

He wasn’t good with kids and didn’t exactly like to have them around. It was hard for him to imagine why people wanted children. For him one huge advantage of being gay had always been that you couldn’t accidently impregnate your partner. The reason why a young guy like Yukie who apparently wasn’t in a committed relationship would adopt kids was a mystery to him. Then again it was Yukie’s life and he wasn’t even a part of it anymore so it wasn’t his problem.

 

Ethan smirked when he heard about the other man’s lifestyle and it was a surprise to him as well. Yukie seemed to be much more promiscuous than Ethan and in retrospective it was ironic that he once had thought that Yukie would judge him for being gay and into him.

Compared to his former best friend Ethan’s life style seemed much more conservative.

 

He smiled when Yukie offered him to visit him in Japan because it meant that the other had forgiven him for disappearing. Spending time with Yukie was a nice thought but he had no time for a longer vacation abroad and his company had no projects he knew of in Japan. “Thank you for the offer, I’ll consider it but I am afraid that it won’t be possible for me to leave the country that soon.” he answered and then pulled his business card out of his pocket and gave it to Yukie. It contained his phone number and the place he worked at in the city. “I’ll – much to my displeasure – be here in this town for a month or so due to work though. So in case you won’t leave the town right after the reunion and stay for a while feel free to contact me over the number on my card and I’ll take you out.” Ethan informed his former best friend glancing over the other man’s body, stopping at the lips he wanted to press his own against.

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"Well, I'll have to make some arrangements but I suppose I can take an early holiday and stay longer...we could catch up if you don't mind my family being around" Yukie admitted with a chuckle as he texted the plan to Sana who easily arranged everything. "So if you don't mind me asking...are you staying in a hotel~"

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He was happy to hear that Yukie would stay a bit longer just to be with him. Ethan was quite sure by now that something would happen between them. Whether it would just be sex or more, he didn’t know and he didn’t care at that very moment.

 

“I don’t mind your family being around, in case the two of us have enough time alone as well.” He winked at the other.

 

“Yes, I am staying in a hotel. Since that fucking rat’s nest only has one hotel it is quite obvious which one.” He laughed. “My room is 68! I actually specifically asked for 69 to trigger the lady at the reception but she just told me 69 isn’t available but I could have 68.” He explained how he came to that room.

“And where are you and your family staying?”

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"Heh room 69" Yukie replied with a chuckle Sana coming back in the children fussy and bored in the kids area as he handed them off to Yukie. And went to get hims something to eat the infant snuggling Yukie while the boy sat quietly and colored. "These are my kids...this is sin." Yukie replied mentioning to the quite kid who was coloring, "and this is Raven" he replied mentioning to the child on his lap who looked at Ethan amused. "They will stay with Sana for the night while I take you out for drinks"

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“I see. Hello!” he greeted the kids and that was it. He wasn’t good with kids and would mostly just ignore them. The real pain in the arse for him was that the parents of children always wanted people to show interest and communicate with the children and Ethan just refused to do that. That had been the reason why his ex-boyfriends sister, a mother of four, had disliked him a lot.

 

“Alright, just one objection: I’ll take you out for drinks and I insist to pay. I want to make good for just disappearing even though I know that this won’t be enough.”

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"I'm fine with that" Yukie replied not minding his friend wasn't adoring the kids since they didn't care much for strangers."so when would you like to leave?"

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The red heads mood lightened up immediately when the opportunity of leaving the school reunion was brought to the table. He couldn’t wait to leave the bloody school hall behind to never enter the building again.

“If it’s on me I’d say we leave right now!” he smiled.

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"Yeah just give me a sec" Yukie replied taking the kids over to sana as he smiled and sana nodded taking his godkids off to the hotel to sleep the boys needing their rest. "Ready?" Yukie asked coming back.

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Ethan smiled at the shorter guy. “More than ready my friend.” He replied, casually laying his arm around Yukie’s hips, a little curious as to whether he’d tolerate it or not when they ran into Jake.

 

“Hey, where are you going? I have your beer right here.” He exclaimed. “We’re going to grab some drinks.” Ethan explained. Jake looked a little confused. “They serve good drinks here too.” He held up the beer. The red head smiled at former bully. “No, nothing this school could serve will ever be good enough for me. I’ll see you at work. Make sure to do as I told you.” And he left the school hall together with Yukie.

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Yukie smiled and gently wrapped his arm around Ethan's as he smiled and followed him. "Choose somewhere nice and fun please~"

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The red head liked that Yukie seemed to be fond of him making body contact. They left the school and Ethan turned back one time. This time he didn’t run out of the building like a dog chased by the dog catchers, he walked out, head held high holding Yukie in his arm, it felt much better than fleeing.

 

“This could be quite the challenge in that shithole of a town. The funniest place I can think of is my hotel room but we have time to go there later.” He smirked and called for a taxi.

He held the door open for Yukie, entered the car after him and then gave the driver an address.

 

The finance manager didn’t care what the taxi driver would think when he placed his hand onto the other males thigh, looking into the Yukie's blue eyes. “I want to ask you something if I may.” He started to talk.

“Why exactly did you care whether I was alive or dead so much that you would come here from Japan to figure it out? And back when we were teenagers, did you have feeling for me as well?” Ethan asked that in a casual tone but it was something he really needed and wanted to know. Actually he wanted to know what Yukie had felt for him since they had been friends back in their high-school days.

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"well, to be honest i have work in this town for awhile. and as for my feels for you back then i guess i could say i did have them for you...but then my parents passed and i never got to say how i felt." yukie explained with a slight frown as he gentky moved his friends hand away. "i dont want our one night stand to end up in anger...i am going to go back home as soon as i finish my buisness meeting"

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Now Ethan was completely confused. Yukie’s words and the signals he sent to him were extremely contradictory. Back at the reunion the bodyguard had said they had come to the town solely for seeing him.

Yukie even had to arrange something to stay a little longer and now all of a sudden he was here for business just as the finance manger was himself? No, this was bullshit and he wouldn’t let the other make a fool out of him.

 

It wasn’t quite as interesting to him anymore what Yukie had to say about his feelings from during their teenage years because this might just be some lie or half-truth again. Maybe if he asked him the same question ten minutes later he would tell a completely different story.

 

The red head started to get pissed and the vague statement about not wanting their one night stand ending in anger was what actually angered him. He told the taxi driver another address, the address of his hotel now and then turned to Yukie. “Quit this bullshit already! We are both adults aren’t we? I know what this was supposed to be. What have you thought? That I’d fucking propose to you and wanted to make you stay here in this town with your brats playing happy family together?” he laughed an unhappy, cynical laugh. “Of course I wouldn’t have done that. I know that you will leave this place again and go back to Japan and I know that I will leave as soon as possible and go back to my home city. I just wanted to have a good time, that’s all. You on the other hand are contradicting yourself and you don’t seem to know whether you want this or not.”

 

The taxi came to a hold and Ethan paid the driver. “I’ll leave; I don’t care for your kindergarten. In case you figure out whether you want to fuck or not, you have my phone number and know the number of my hotel room as well.” He said harshly.

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" I don't want someone who hates my family I've built" Yukie replied glaring..."you really where selfish in high school youmleft me alone with no one when you ran away. I'm hurt and it's hard to just forgive someone I needed for bailing on me but hell as long as he gets an easy fuck that's fine" Yukie snapped as he sighed. "I wanted to come back and date you but after your outburst it was stupid of me to think you actually care"

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Ethan sighed, still angry about the whole situation and pressed his fingers onto his forehead as nothing of that made sense to him anymore.

“Sure, you wanted to date me and thought contradicting yourself, lying to me and sending a completely different vibe and letting me believe you wanted a one night stand would be a decent start? Makes total sense.” he said sarcastically.

 

“I wasn’t selfish in high-school. I was a lot back then but not that. The only selfish thing I did was abandoning you and not telling you that I was leaving after I had finished high school. And I tried to explain to you why I did this and didn’t see another way for me back then and unlike you I was honest with you about that. If you can’t forgive me, fine, I understand but in that case why would you search for me and then flirt with me like that and tell me about how you are sleeping around and living a lewd life bound to no one?” Ethan wanted to know.

 

He shook his head in disbelief. “Fuck, did you even listen to what I have told you before. I loved you! Do you know what this means? An easy fuck, he says. Nothing about that is easy for me. I cared! I cared so much it had been painful as fuck. You intentionally wanted to come off as if you didn’t care just now in the hall – apparently because you can’t forgive me as you revealed now - and I believed you, so I just arranged myself with the fact that you were fine sleeping around and experimenting with me but weren’t interested in anything further than that and now you are trying to use that against me? Interesting!”

 

The taller man wished he had never had to come back to that bloody small town. To not have entered that school hall because he wouldn’t have to deal with this shit then. He wouldn’t have gotten back into that complicated mess, into that thunderstorm of unprocessed, archived emotions and would have stayed where he had had a normal, fulfilling and mostly drama-free life.

 

He opened the door of the car and a cold wind blew inside. “If you intended to date me, why would anyone be ‘angered’ after a ‘one night stand’ then? Why would it fucking be a one night stand at the first place then as I don't understand one night stands as dating you know? This alone doesn’t make sense, so you obviously are still making a fool out of me as you never intended to date me anyway. It’s another lie isn’t it?” The older of the two concluded.

“Why are you doing this to me? As revenge for running from this town and my feelings back when I was a teenager? To mess with me and confuse me? If so you were successful, congrats.”

 

With those words he left the taxi but leaned back inside another time: “I also don’t hate your family, you just made this up. I don’t even know them. To say that I hate people who I don’t know is ridiculous. Just as if I were to say you would hate my goldfish for some unknown reason.”

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