pandamonium Posted February 4, 2015 Share Posted February 4, 2015 The pharmacist handed Eric his prescription. He paid, leaving the pharmacy. He noticed the billboards advertising a new medication that helped one overcome their homosexual urges. He considered asking his doctor about it. The medication he was currently using was not helping him like the other. Though now he could keep his food down and wasn't causing him to feel sluggish. He arrived to his apartment, dropping his keys in his key bowl. He sighed, heading to the kitchen. He was tired. He's spent the day without any medication and was overcome with anxiety. What if others noticed his strange behavior? He was sure that his coworker gave him a dirty look. Why couldn't he be like everyone else? He popped two pills into his mouth, swallowing them dry. He walked over to his living room, sitting on his couch and picking up his book. He liked how books usually took him to another world. Where he could just daydream and not worry of anything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kotorichan Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 Jessie set the last of his boxes down in the living room of his new apartment. He only had a few because he kept moving around, so it would be easy to unpack. He briefly wondered how to make an impression on his new neighbor, and if he should do it right away or wait a few days. He immediately decided to introduce himself right away, and make the biggest impression possible. He quickly mixed up a batch of chocolate cookies and put them in the oven as he began to unpack. The teenager spent about twenty minutes decorating the apartment with his brightly colored belongings, and then another twenty minutes dressing himself up as the cookies cooled. He slipped on a buttercup yellow sundress and a pair of black pumps. He spent most of the time doing his makeup perfectly, creating a perfect balance of feminine and masculine qualities on his face. He ran a brush through his shoulder length black hair and packed the cookies in a gift box with a yellow ribbon wrapped around it, then finally left his apartment and knocked on the door of his new neighbor's apartment with a bright smile. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandamonium Posted February 5, 2015 Author Share Posted February 5, 2015 Eric jumped at the the sound of his front for being knocked. He took several deep breathes to calm himself. He set the book down on his coffee table and made his way towards the door. He opened the door to see a beautiful lady standing at the door. Her yellow sundress brightened up the room almost immediately. He stared dumbfounded at her, before realizing he hasn't introduced himself. "Um, hello. Please do come in." He held the door open for her. Embarrassed about his steering at her. She must be uncomfortable because of him. He kept his eyes glued to the ground. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kotorichan Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 Jessie was very surprised when he was invited in. He had thought the other person would immediately realize that he wasn't female. His completely flat chest and masculine features hadn't been hidden... He shrugged and stepped inside with a smile. "Thanks~" he said cheerfully, his voice clearly male. "I just moved in nextdoor" he held out the box of cookies. "My name's Jessie, I made these for you" He watched the man curiously to see if he would react any differently. Sometimes people thought the idea of someone male wearing a dress was so impossible that they never noticed that Jessie wasn't a woman. It didn't bother the teenager, it just showed him how much people had accepted their way of life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandamonium Posted February 5, 2015 Author Share Posted February 5, 2015 Eric's eyes widened when he heard Jessie speak. His head shot up. Was she...a he? He didn't know whether to ask her if she was a male or not. He thought it'd be rude to ask such a personal thing. "Uh...you're welcome." He began to look closely at Jessie. He noticed certain masculine features. He started to feel a panic attack approaching. The way things were, Jessie could get in serious trouble for his behavior. He snapped out ofs thoughts and saw the box of cookies he was offered. He gingerly grabbed the box. He couldn't help, but smile. "Thank you. You shouldn't have gone through all of that trouble." He realized he was being rode again and cleared his throat. "Um...please sit down. I'll make some coffee for the cookies." He hurried towards the kitchen and turned on the coffeemaker. He began to breathe heavily. He needed to calm himself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kotorichan Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 Jessie smiled at the man's reaction, it was pretty clear that he had figured out that something was off. He sat down on the couch and made himself comfortable. "Thanks, coffee sounds amazing... I hope the cookies turned out okay, I haven't tried one yet..." He looked around the room curiously, trying to see if there was anything to tell him what kind of man this was. It was usually fairly easy to learn about a person from the things in their apartment. Sometimes he could even guess whether or not someone was on medication. The teenager hummed softly and kicked off his shoes as he waited. He examined his fingernails which still were painted with bright blue polish. "You never mentioned your name..." He called to the man. "mind telling me what you like to be called?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandamonium Posted February 5, 2015 Author Share Posted February 5, 2015 Eric heard Jessie call him from the living room. He jumped. It'll take a while before the medication kicked in. Until then he'll be anxious and nervous. "Oh! Um, my name is Eric." He facepalmed. He was being to jittery. The coffee pot finished filling itself with coffee. He hurried to grab two mugs from the cabinets. He pulled out two plain white mugs. He poured a generous amount of coffee to each. He returned to the living room, placing the coffee mugs on the table. "Um, they have no sugar. I'll return with the sugar. Um, would you like cream or milk?" He fiddled with his hands. Not sure of what to do. He rarely has visitors, especially women. If you would call Jessie a woman. He was still not very sure of what to call her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kotorichan Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 "It's nice to meet you Eric" Jessie lightly brushed his bangs out of his face. "I'd prefer milk, I'm trying to watch my figure" he laughed and kept smiling brightly. "Just kidding, I know I'm always cute enough... If I put too much more effort into my appearance I wouldn't be able to keep the guys away" he hummed softly and waited for Eric to come back with the sugar. "Have you been living here for long? I keep moving around but it seems like it'd be nice to stay in one place for a long time..." he sighed softly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandamonium Posted February 5, 2015 Author Share Posted February 5, 2015 Eric hurried to the kitchen. Returning with the sugar and milk. He sat in a chair near the couch and laughed nervously. He took the mug and took a sip. He was sure that Jessie had many suitors. After all she was a lovely 'lady'. Quite funny to boot. He cleared his throat. "I-I suppose. I've lived here for five years now." He was curious to know why she constantly moved. Was it job related? But she was rather young, she seemed old enough to be in school. He'd rather not ask something so personal. "The neighbors are nice, I suppose. But I wouldn't know. I don't talk to them. They do keep to themselves, though." He took another sip of his coffee, feeling less anxious than before. The medication was finally taking effect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kotorichan Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 "Doesn't everyone these days?" Jessie sighed as he mixed milk and sugar into his coffee. "Everyone's so scared that they'll do something wrong and get reported to the government that no one talks to each other anymore... It's kinda sad" He lightly blew on his coffee before taking a sip. "You can relax around me, I'd never report anything... No matter what you did" He smiled flirtatiously. "I just hope you'll return the favor..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandamonium Posted February 5, 2015 Author Share Posted February 5, 2015 Eric shrugged, taking another sip of his coffee. "I suppose. Though the laws are in place for a particular reason. Everyone needs to be normal and these perverse ways of thinking will cause nothing, but problems." He glared at his mug, before taking another sip. He looked up at Jessie. His eyes widened with fear. "Wh-why would I be reported? I-I take the recommended medication!" He slammed his hand onto his mouth. He had never told anyone about that. The only ones who know are his doctor and of course his boss. It was law to let your employer know of any medical information. He took a sip of coffee, his hands shaking slightly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kotorichan Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 Jessie smiled brightly, he knew there was something off about the man. "You're on medication? What for? Homosexual tendencies?" He laughed softly and sipped his coffee. "You know all those things they tell you are lies, right? There's no real science behind all of it... I went through my father's files once and nothing says there's anything wrong with gay people..." The teenager scooted closer to Eric on the couch. "You don't need those pills, they're mostly just placebos anyway" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandamonium Posted February 5, 2015 Author Share Posted February 5, 2015 Eric looked away. "I'd rather not talk about it." He shot his attention to Jessie. "But...why would lie? They care for our wellbeing and such perverse thinking..." He began to pant rapidly, a panic attack almost eminent. He stood up, pacing the living room. Holding his head with his hands. That's not true! He thought. But...those times I'd get nauseous...the sluggishness...calm down...breathe. He felt his chest tighten, labored breathing, tears in his eyes. "That's...not true..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kotorichan Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 "It is true, they'll either give you placebo's or pills that lower your sex drive... Sometimes they'll just give you things to make your mind hazy so you can't think straight, but it'll never make you straight..." Jessie slowly took another sip of his coffee. "Everyone's just scared of being different, that's how they control you... They make you think that being different will cause problems, so you'll do whatever they say to stay the same as everyone else..." He set down his coffee and smoothed his skirt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandamonium Posted February 5, 2015 Author Share Posted February 5, 2015 He felt his world begin to crumble. On shaky legs, he say back down. Tears streaming down his face. "So...I'll never be...normal?" He turned to Jessie. His eyes puffy and red. "And you accept this? You'd rather not be like everyone else?" He pushed his hair back, sniffing. "All-all this time...I-I thought it wa-was helping me...All this t-time, they we-were making me sick?" How could they? No. No. Jessie is lying. He was on denial. This went against what he was taught all his life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kotorichan Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 "Eric..." Jessie set his coffee down and scooted closer, gently resting a hand on the man's arm. "Calm down, you're gonna be okay..." He smiled gently and lightly cupped the other's face in his hands. "There's no one who fits the government's perfect image, everyone has something different about them... We should embrace these differences, not try to hide them..." He lightly brushed the man's tears away. "Take a couple deep breaths... Everything's gonna be okay" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandamonium Posted February 5, 2015 Author Share Posted February 5, 2015 Eric shuddered, taking deep breathes to calm himself. "I-I just want to be like everyone else. Find a nice girl, have a family...but I can't have that. Not when I'm like this." He leaned on Jessie without a second thought. "You should go..." He stood up and with shaky steps, walked to his room. During the door quietly. He collapsed onto his bed. He continued to cry. If she's right...then what's the point of living like this. Pills. Fear. Anxiety. It's too much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kotorichan Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 Jessie stood up and followed Eric to his bedroom. He didn't want to give up on on convincing this man that he was okay. "Eric... Is that really what you want? You can still do that, you can marry a woman and have your kids... But you'll never really be happy like that" He sat down on the edge of the bed. "You're always going to prefer men, so why not just accept it and let yourself be happy?" He lightly trailed his fingers over the man's back. "I've spent the past nine years searching for someone who's willing to help me... If we work together we can change the way people think and you'll be accepted no matter what..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandamonium Posted February 5, 2015 Author Share Posted February 5, 2015 Eric sighed. "I do want a family, but no woman would ever want a man who's mentally ill. What if my children have the same sickness as I do?" He'd always imagined being happy with a woman, but what if Jessie was right? What if he were to be unhappy because of his attraction to men? He turned to Jessie. "What's the point? I'm tired...it'll be better to just end it." As soothing as it felt having his back stroked, he pushed Jessie away. "Please leave. I'm tired..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kotorichan Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 "It's not an illness... And it's not something that would be passed down to your children" Jessie narrowed his eyes in frustration. "Listen to me, it isn't better to end anything... Don't you want to make a difference in the world? So no one has to feel the way you feel now?" He leaned over the man, staring down at him intently. "If you give up now you're just a selfish coward, you could do something with your life instead of just wallowing in self pity" He stood up and ran his fingers through his air. "I'm going back to my apartment, let me know if you change your mind..." Without another word he left the room and went back to his own apartment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandamonium Posted February 5, 2015 Author Share Posted February 5, 2015 He watched Jessie leave the room. His head was beginning to pound. He pulled out a few pills and swallowed. He'd rather not think about anything, at the moment. He'd rather sleep and dream of being in the world of one of his favorite books. He fell asleep after some time. He awoke, feeling drained. He checked his clock, he had work in a couple hours. He slowly got out of bed and began to get ready for work. Everything that occurred yesterday hit him. He stopped what he was doing and remembered what Jessie told him. ...you're such a selfish coward, you could do something with your life instead of just wallowing in self pity. He sighed. He didn't want anyone else to feel like he does. But to go against the government...that was just asking for death. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kotorichan Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 Jessie went back to his apartment and got out a bottle of vodka. Technically he was underage but he always managed to get something to drink. He removed his makeup and stripped off his dress, throwing it on the floor. The teenager flopped down on his couch and poured himself a shot, downing it immediately. He didn't think anyone would ever help him, no matter what he did they would always be too scared. "Nothing's ever gonna change..." He muttered to himself, wiping away tears of frustration. "It's too late to change anything... they're all too scared..." Jessie ended up drinking until he fell asleep on his couch. He was in just his underwear which, like most of his clothing, was very feminine. He slept in late the next morning since he didn't have any reason to get up in the morning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandamonium Posted February 5, 2015 Author Share Posted February 5, 2015 He arrived to his workplace, walking towards his cubicle/ He set his bag down, sitting in his chair. Staring blankly at the screen in front of him. He wanted to help Jessie, she seemed so kind and actually wanted things to change. Imagine, a world where nobody has to feel scared and anxious about themselves. Not having to take 'medication' to fit into the government's mold of how everyone should be. That sounded like heaven, he thought. He felt a hand hit him in the back, causing him to jump. He snapped his head to the left and saw it was his boss. "I didn't know you could do work without doing anything, boy." He stuttered and shook his head. "Uh, I-I was just spacing out! I-I'll get back to work." He hurried to begin his work. His boss snorting in disapproval. "I better not catch you 'spacing out' again. This is what I expected from pill-poppers." He walked away. Eric sighed in relief. He felt drained, but had to work. He thought about Jessie's offer. What did he have to lose? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kotorichan Posted February 5, 2015 Share Posted February 5, 2015 Jessie slept until the late afternoon. He woke up with a slight headache and feeling sick to his stomach. The teenager dragged himself off the couch and into the shower where he just sat on the floor and let the warm water wash over his body. He took a couple pain killers and as soon as they kicked in he started to feel better. "That Eric guy looked like way too much of a whimp to be any help..." He muttered as he searches through his closet. "Guess I'll just have to keep trying to do stuff on my own... As usual..." Jessie dressed himself in black skinny jeans and a feminine lime green blouse. He once again did his makeup to highlight masculine and feminine features. He grabbed his wallet and keys and headed out to go on a walk. He wanted to get himself some groceries, but it never hurt to confuse a few people while he was at it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pandamonium Posted February 6, 2015 Author Share Posted February 6, 2015 Eric was able to work without having his boss looking over his shoulder. It was strange that he didn't hover over him, but he wasn't going to complain. Once he finished, He packed his bag, leaving for the day. He grabbed his earphones from his pocket. Placing them in his ears. He scrolled through his phone, looking for an audiobook to listen to. He began to play an audiobook of the book he was currently reading. He enjoyed the soothing voice of the narrator. He soon enough got into the story. He approached the apartment complex he resided in. He pulled the earphones out and sighed. He was nervous. He was still unsure if he wanted to help Jessie, but...he wanted to help others not feel like how he does. He wasn't very sure if Jessie was telling the truth or was an insane person. I'll have to get to know her better. He thought. He approached Jessie's apartment. He took a deep breathe and knocked on the door. No answer. He sighed and walked towards his door. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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