Breathe again (private raimeowmeow × yukino kyo)

[Rhye_Meow]

"No.. please don't leave me.. i'm so alone. And you're my first friend. If you elave me now. I'll be all alone again.." he pleaded as he held Antonee. He was so helpless right now, and he never admit it to anyone. "I am always afraid of dying alone Antonee.. but i don't want my faily to worry over me, i just want them to continue living after i'm gone. And ... just please don't leave me." He started to breath normally when his medicine started to take effect.

"What do ihave to do to make you stay?" He ask in desperation.

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[yukino kyo]

Antonee goes back at the room and sits near Josh. You don't need to do or to say a word. As long as you need me I'll be here, I'll be beside's you always, and please don't say that your going to leave and go to a place that I can't reach you. Whether you ask for it or not from now on I will never leave your side, even you go on the deepest part of hell I'll follow you.

 

I'll always be here so please trust me. Just text or call me I'll be by your side on a flash, but give me a time it will depends whether your near or far. Antonee was trying to lighten the mood.

 

 

 

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[Rhye_Meow]

Hearing all of these from Antonee, Josh had an inexplicable urge to hold him close. He wanted comfort and ask for strenght from someone. And yet, he just couldnt do it. He doesnt want to be pitied, but he pities himself. He never wanted to be a burden, yet he is burdening himself. He wanted to put say he is not weak, but he is,.. very much.

He hugged Antonee with all his strenght and thank him from the bottom of his heart. "I never knew what i've been missing all these years." He let go and smiled and wipe his tears.. "Sorry, im so emotional.. im okay now..err.. what do you want to do now? This is my first sleep over.. ahm. Actually you are my first friend." He was so shy that even his ears is red..

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[yukino kyo]

Antonee think, well if you are to ask me you are my first true friend. Some people only trying to use me to meet some good looking girls and others due to family influence so "can you be my best friend?" he ask Josh. But deep down he really wanted to ask if Josh would like to be with him on a more deep relationship. Knowing the fact that Josh was really straight he just let it passed.

 

Oh, do you play chess or any board game it can help us to make the time faster.

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[Rhye_Meow]

He feels like he have to say something to Antonee, since he might be uncomfortable if he knew later on. He fidget and sweated a little then he decided to lay on the cold floor.

 

"Ah yeah sure Antonee, we can be bestfriends.. if you dont mind a gay one.. what i mean was... i'm gay.. some people might find having near one a little uncomrtable, so i hope you dont mind me being one.."

He covered his eyes with his arms as he tried to calm his raspy breathing..

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[yukino kyo]

Antonee deeply blushed due to Josh revelation, "so I really have a chance" he said to himself. Ah sure why not, I think . Oh how should I say this, Josh it's my first time actually meeting a gay, cover his lips and looked side ward. They say that gay's are knowledgeable person, they know some wonder's of life that straight one's did not know.

 

"Oh,,, shit how will I explain this, I really wan't him to teach me how to pleasure a guy" murmuring to himself. You can hit me after I said this but have you ever kissed a guy, I mean I'm really curios how do the do it what does it feel's like. Burred his face on the pillow.

 

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[Rhye_Meow]

Josh was really embarassed this night, things happen from bad to worst. And now he is being questioned about sex with other man. 'Oh this is just embarassing, i want to crawl under a rock and live in it' Josh thought, still covering his eyes. But he already said he will do anything as long as Antonee stay with him. So he toughen his act and get it togetherand answered.

"I don't really knowabout sex with me.. or sex in general. As you can see, and ailment doesnt permits me to do rigorous sexual activities. But, like any healthy curious ,male. I have researched about how it is done and i think it is different with sex with females cause you need time and planning. And lots of preparations and ... lubrications." After he answered, he buried his head under the blankets in shame.

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[yukino kyo]

Antonee was really fascinated by Josh word's he was like discovering a new side of Josh that no one but him knew. He was very thankful that he went to his house that day and to be given an once in a lifetime opportunity to get to know and realize that that day 23th of April for the first time on his life he fell in love. "Love was really wonderful it make my heart beat fast, make me made so may reactions and action that I never done" he murmured as he keep on listening on Josh.

 

As Antonee listen to Josh Explanation they did not realize the time and he suddenly fell asleep at the sofa he really felt tired after all the thing's that happen that day. He was smiling as he position his self on the sofa and embracing the towel, he also forgot to remove his eye glasses. It was a long day for him and a hard one also a teenager who is about to open up to a new world.

 

 

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[Rhye_Meow]

The time flowed by so slowly for Josh that night. He wanted for it to end quickly, being in an akward situation. But it's actually quite the opposite. He saw Antonee fell asleep at the sofa and he felt really uncomfortable.

 

He just said he is gay, and yet Antonee is letting his guard down around him. Wearing very less and sleeping haphazardly in front of him. Josh took a good look at him, admittedly.. he agreed in his heart that Antonee was indeed very handsome. His type in fact. He blushed a bit and bit hiw lower lip. His hands itch, wanting to touch Antonee, but instead he just brushed a bit of rogue hair off Antonee's forehead, and he stood up. He got a blanket and covered Antonee. He took out his notes and began studying.. but he got sleepy and lay his head on the sofa. Unknowingly, he held Antonee's hand and fall into slumber.

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[yukino kyo]

Then Morning came so quickly. Antonee was going to look at his wrist watch but he felt a hand holding on him. He look at his side and he saw Josh a sleep and blushed "He's really damn cute!" he said to himself. What will I do the can't see the time, but I don't want to wake him up. Antonee just keep on looking at Josh as he sleep "never mind the class as long as your this close to me I won't mind anything to pass. "Ah, I wish that you like me also. What face will you make If I said that I fell in Love you?" keep murmuring at himself. I can smell him I don't want to forget his scent, this felling I wish the time will stop and let us be like this. Even like this, even at this I'm at his side he was holding me. Now I'm afraid when he wake's up when he pull his hands and stand up. We will never be like this again, "Oh will we be like this again?" he keeps on asking him self.

 

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[Rhye_Meow]

"Mh?" Josh woke up at the creak of the sofa and realized that he fell asleep as well. He had no idea that he held Antonee's hand so he just acted normal. " Good morning, seems we fell asleep here." He stood up and stretch.. "I'll shower first and prepare breakfast, i'll be quick."

He was done in under 10 minutes, all dress for school. But his hair is still wet. "I can only prepare toast eggs and coffee for you, i'm sorry." He said a little embarassed and gave Antonee his breakfast. He ate his fruits and water and stood up after. "You can shower and i'll wait for you at the car." He said and gathered his things and went to the garage.

As he opened the drivers side door, he swiftly sat and opened the aircon. He held his chest that is beating wildly.

"Shit, it seems that i find Antonee so cute... " he whispered.

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[yukino kyo]

Antonee was sad when he realized that his dream was over. He stand up and eat breakfast he know that Josh was avoiding the topic of holding hands while they are a sleep, so he did not ask any farther just finish the breakfast and take shower like Josh said and Dressed for school. He fixed his emotion and hide his sadness behind his smiling face.

 

I'm ready Josh as he ride on the car and sit then smile. "Oh, I'll be going home late tonight so you don't have to wait for me at school I'll be taking a taxi" he said it calmly at Josh. Actually Antonee was at the rebel stage now so after school he was going to look for a part time Job to support his self, he left his ATM and credit card at home.

 

At school he ask a classmate to help him find one after class and go with him on a maid bar. "shit why did I end up to this?" he ask him self. Antonee was dressed as a girl maid because it was there team that day. The payment was good and the work is not hard but he was very shy so he have a very difficult time on work. "I wish Josh will not see me like this" he said to himself and work".

 

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[Rhye_Meow]

Josh classes ended swiftly and he looked at his phone. There was no message from Antonee and he felt a little disappointed. But he already knew that Antonee would be late that day, so he has no choice but to be patient and wait. He decided to surprise him by making him a good dinner. He went on a market and bought vegetables for salad, eggs, milk, celeries, fish and things for soup.

He got home and started preparing for dinner. He started cleaning the fish and chop off the vegetables, he made the fish stew perfectly with a hint of spicy flavor. Then he made egg rolls, and pickled cucumber as side dish. He started steaming the rice and put a sesame oil on it, for that extra luster. He is almost done with cooking when he realize the time is already late. He decided toa wait for Antonee and prepared the table ready. Maybe he was too excited or exhausted, or both, he leaned in the table and fell asleep.

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[yukino kyo]

Antonee Clear his face erase the make up and change clothes. "Oh my I forget to massage Josh, but is he waiting for me?" he keep asking himself. On his way home he was caught on a trouble he saw a girl being robbed by two men so he helped her, but the other man have a knife and try to stab Antonee he dodge but still have a little cut. He know a little martial arts so it help him to save the girl, but the rubber escape and say that they will have revenge to him.

 

Antonee ride a taxi and went to Josh house, before entering Antonee hide his wound and enter the house. " Josh tadaima" he said. but did not answer he go to the kitchen because he was really hungry and saw Josh sleeping. He smiled at went to Josh side "did you make this for me? he ask Josh in his mind. Then touched his head and kissed his forehead then whisper thank you to Josh ear, before he wake up Josh.

 

 

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[Rhye_Meow]

"Ehh.. sorry i fell asleep, im pretty tired today."he sat up quickly and rubbed his face, then he realize his behavior was a little embarassing. "Ah.. you must be hungry,i'll just re-heat the soupamd well have dinner. Though you have to finish this all cause i only eat oatmeal for dinner." He said while he stood up and reheat the soup.

"Ahm... so how was your day?" He ask Antonee as he akwardly stood near the stove. Before Antonee could answer, he went ahead and tell him his."My day was a novelty.. this is the first time i've cook this many, since dad doesn't eat as much.. so i hope you like what i've prepared for you." He gave Antonee a shy smile.

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[yukino kyo]

Antonee gave a smile, you know Josh I'm so happy you did this all for me, you know honestly It's my first time eating home made by some one I know. My parents are always busy and I was always eating alone so I guest I can say that you have all my first. Oh sorry now I'm being mellow dramatic. Antonee was remembering his childhood life.

 

Antonee looked at Josh with a serious face, and told Josh Everything. You are my first friend so I want to be honest with you Josh actually I run away from home and tonight I was having my first job at a cafe, I don't want to keep any secrete to you. My father and mother was not on good term's they always leave me alone and keep hiding everything. I want to ask them, but every time I ask they always change the topic. They are both at states so I took the opportunity to leave the house. Please don't be mad and don't think that I used you. I was very happy that you offered me your home and I don't really know how to leave alone so please don't kick me out for this Josh.

 

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[Rhye_Meow]

"Im okay you staying here, but you have to atleast message your family and tell them you are staying over at a friends house and that you are okay.. you're not too old to run away, so take responsibility." Josh smiled and serve the warm food. He silently eat his oatmeal and longingly look at the food he prepared. "I wish i could eat that too.. oatmealsare so bland." He sigh and continue eating. When he is nearly finish he ask Antonee."Ahm.. are you dating that girl name Cherry?" He realize that his questions are so personak and he rectified. " ah sorry! I didn't mean to pry on your life!" He blushed profusely and stood up.

"Could you wash the dishes please? I'm just going to relax at the sofa." He walk up, almost escaping his shame. He tried to calm his breathing and sat in front of the piano.'Right, i'll just play to relax.'

He opened the piano keyboard lid and trace it with his fingers, he started

playing simple melody, the gradually played a complicated piece, seemingly lost in his own world. Forgetting he isn't alone.

 

[video=youtube_share;F-4wUfZD6oc]

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[yukino kyo]

Antonee wash the dishes like Josh told. But washing the dishes with his injury was very difficult the wound opens every time he stroke on the dishes but still keep on going, he did not realize that there was blood drop on the floor. Suddenly Josh played the piano, he was deeply moved by the tune. After he finished the dishes he went up to his room with out telling Josh.

 

"Ah, I didn't notice it was deep" he said. He was trying to fix his wound but he never done it before after an hour he finished it but a lot of blood was lost. I feel dizzy, But I need to clean this I don't want to cause Josh any problem. He was cleaning his room get a paper bag and put the bandage and tissues with a lot of blood on it, suddenly he realized that Josh was still playing so If he goes out to trow it outside Josh wont see it.

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[Rhye_Meow]

Josh stop when his heartrate monitor started rising in his watch. "Oh shit!" He realize he was playing for a long time and that he left Antonee alone. He searched for him and realize something was not right. When he opened the the bedroom door, he smelled a faint trace of blood. He knew this smell very well, being often at the hospital and a medical student, he cannot be mislead. He searched for Antonee everywhere and saw him at the back door,

"Tell me what the hell happen? Why and where are you wounded?" He shouted almost mad, then he realized Antonee's face is deathly pale..

"Oi! Don't make me worry, sit down and tell me what happen!" He held Antonee's hand. And his face showed his worry.

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[yukino kyo]

Antonee looked at Josh hold his face, "please don't make that face I hide it because I don't want to see you like this" he spoke gently. "It was only today I saw a girl being robbed and I try to helped but I ended up with this, I though its just a scratch so I did not really cared. but please don't looked at me with such face it makes me think that I was right to hide it seeing you like that!" he continued ti speak.

 

He tighten his hold to Josh and said "lets go back to the house its cold out side, its not good for you". He continue to hold Josh hand. "Can we go to my your room, you know I'm not good at first aid so I was thinking if you can help me fix it" he asked Josh and smiled.

 

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[Rhye_Meow]

"Fine." Josh agreed and went inside, he knew arguments was never his strongest point. So submittimg himself, he let Antonee hold his hands and they went inside his bedroom. "Sit there."he force Antonee to sit at his window chair. He went and rummage his kit and got the things he needed and went ahead and sit next to Antonee."i'm going to remove your clothing, so please turn around, he looked calm, and he pulled Antonees shirt off. He went ahead and check the wound.

He press it lightly and said "it's a superficial wound, so you will be fine, we just have to stitch it though... i can do it, so don't worry." He didn't even wait for Antonee's reaction and cleaned the wound. Then he open the glovebox and wear a pair, he smear a numbing cream at Antonee's wound and began preparing the suture kit. "This won't hurt, its just 5 to 7 stitches inside amd out, so dont be alarmed... ill be gentle." He started stitching it up..holding Antonee's naked upper body.

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[yukino kyo]

Antonee looked at Josh and said, sorry for making some trouble. "I came her with out telling you what happen then ask you to help me clean and fix my wound now I feel really ashamed" he added. "Did you really wanna take all my fist Josh?" he was trying to joke around, but telling him the truth. "You know, you are my first friend, first sleep over, first person to cook for me, now you are the fist person who treats me and I will not be surprise if you will be the one to take the title of my first love" after he said that he laugh a little then post and continued "Joudan datta."

 

He was enduring the stitches, but Josh touch make him feel alright. As Josh say's done he fell on Josh and lose his consciousness. It was due to blood loss.

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[Rhye_Meow]

He supported Antonee's weight and he done it with much difficulty. It seems Antonee lost too much blood and that he needed to be check by a doctor. Fishing out his phone atbhis pockets, Josh called his doctor and told him what happen. The doctor promise to come and in the meantime, Josh did everything he could to let Antonee safely rest on his shoulders. The doctor came and check up o him, and gave him an IV fluids, and ask him to let Antonee rest until tomorrow evening.

After he sent the doctor on his way, he get back on his bedroom to check on Antonee. He wioe the sweat of antonees brow and gently sit on the bed.. like the other ordinary days, Josh was already sleepy since its past his bed time. He lay beside Antonee and hug him, till he close his eyes and drift off to sleep

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[yukino kyo]

Antonee waked up in the middle of the night, he was trying to sit but there was a weight at his tummy he look at his side and saw Josh hugging him. "Josh, what are you thinking putting your guard down like this, I'm a man you know!" he really want to tell Josh but he just keep it in mind as he blushed. He stay a little and looked at Josh sleeping face. "Ahhhh. . . I surrender if I keep this up I might do something bad!" he told himself. He hold Josh arm's and took a pillow to replace him and try to move out of Josh embrace.

 

He stand up and looked at Josh as he sit beside's the bed. He looked at Josh and whisper "I'll give you a little punishment for looking down on me as a man". He tilt Josh head and kiss his lips gently. "Try to wake my lust again and I'll give you more, please notice me some time's I'm also a man. I can also loose control" he whisper as he left Josh room and go back to his own and sleep.

 

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[Rhye_Meow]

Josh was not sure if he felt Antonee kiss him in his dreams or in reality, but that doesn't stop him from being aroused. Like he said,Antonee was clearly his type, so much that he sometimes find it hard to control his emotions. He sat up and saw that he is alone. He look at the IV that was suppose to be attached to Antonee, and he panic when he saw it was there,but Antonee wasn't. He stood up and searched for him, and found him at teh guest bedroom.

"Why did you removed your Iv? You are not well yet! Come back here." He wanted to grab Antonee but he realize how he looks now, his penis is erect from his dreams.. in fact it is so hard that it's impossible not to be notice.

"Ah.. shit!"

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