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BRIDGET

I'll just pretend

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BRIDGET

Summary: A sad break up.

Status: Complete

 

 

I have held your hand for the last time. I've seen your smile for the last time. I've broken your heart for the last time. Mine, still into pieces, bleeds for yours. Why didn't you hear me when I told you I couldn't do it? Why did you judge me too? Why didn't just take what I offered? When I offered myself to you, just me, never my heart. I blame you, I blame your kindness, and I blame your blindness. I blame my weakness.

In the story of your skin, there's a blank page that doesn't belong to me. In the story of my skin there's a scar that you don't deserve. I blame your eyes for being the only ones seeing me, seeing the monster in me, the angel in me. I blame you for those nights you held me so tight that I thought I could die and I blame myself for allowing my heart feel.

Seven years, seven tears, seven smiles, seven goodbyes. I have nothing else to give you, nothing else in my soul. I don't deserve your love, don't deserve your caresses.

Why did you ask? Why did you embrace me that rainy night? Why? If you knew it would be over. Why did you risk everything we had?

I would like to stop time at that moment and just pretend that nothing happened and once again we'd have each other to laugh, to live, to love. But you wanted all, my body, my heart, my soul.

And now I am here, laying in my bed, with my clothes on, my cold bed, the one you filled so many times. And here I am trying to figure out how to go on, how to breath alone. And here I am, once more, pretending. I’ll do it, for you. I’ll pretend to smile; I’ll pretend to live; I’ll pretend just for you and only you.

I can wear a disguise, I can pretend before the world, without it hurting me, without the air burning me. I can laugh while crying without anyone noticing it. But how can I pretend before you without feeling your pain, my pain?

I can pretend for you that I wasn’t hurt by your words; I can pretend for you that the bruise is gone, that your fingers aren’t tattooed on my skin no more. I can pretend for you. I’ll do it, just for you.

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robertita

You are very deep inside.

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SapphireBlue

Wow thats intense...its feeling of losing someone...

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yaoifangirl

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This is so intense and made me think of my first broke up. You are truly talented in expressing the deepest feelings! :cuteonion8:

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