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[td]J O U R N A L | 01



I've been raving this sense of passion to post my deepest and darkest desires for public display.

Hope I won't go to jail with this whimsical and completely trivial thoughts during my day-to-day struggles. Struggle, isn't that far-fetched,it is really the word.


Anyways, for all the stress that my work has conjured, there are things that somehow do wonders. So here you go. Please, just please, I'll warn you that you'll probably waste a couple of minutes reading this blog so I suggest you don't read this sht. It's basically non-sense at its
form. And they said , 'never go full retard,' well too late pal. And I warn you, nigga, don't go grammar nazi on me. This is my blog for pete's sake and not some thesis handout.


So-- It's been almost two years and I wasn't cured, not a little bit, by this huge ship I couldn't really get over with. Trust me, I pulled all resources and tried to divert my interests here and there. Sadly, it wasn't effective and thus I gave in.


Well it all started with this



I was really amazed how it turned out, it was 'eyegasmic' (if such word exist?) and I can't help watching the rest of the cinematic. I advice you to watch em' all and you'll get hyped and hook. I haven't bought the game, being a peasant and all, though I really wanted to play it badly. I just watched people's gameplay and such until I stumbled at this idiot cowboy with a southern drawl and a Yakuza with lot's of issues.


I had an epiphany here and there like 'hey I think this cowboy suits that angtsy Dragonlord.' It turns out that I'm not the only one who had shipped them hard. Yes the first journal is about an appreciation post for the greatest ship I shipped so hard, Titanic be damned.


Sasuke x Naruto -- yeah Good sht.

Aomine x Kagami -- literally my thing.

Grimmjow x Ichigo -- nice sht, keep it going.


...Jesse x Hanzo -- MY RELIGION


Despite the trope of a cold man x a stupid cowman, I never would get tired of all the stuff I stumble upon Jesse and Hanzo -- McHanzo. Yeah like when you order at McDonalds, '1 soda, 1 spaghetti and 1 McHanzo please' Like TF is wrong with their ship's name!?


And it's a very huge plus that they're both huge boys, Bara be goddamn nice. All the Bara lover's GATHER!!!




Hanzo Shimada, 38 years old, was the heir of a huge criminal empire in Hanamura, Japan. He together with his brother, Genji Shimada, were tasked to follow their ancestral's footsteps. Trained and honed with academics and the mastery of weaponry and martial arts, both brothers were bestowed by their ancestors the power to summon dragons. Genji was a fickle thing, really, a little shit that gets to loiter and fck here and there while his brother did all the job to cover up his ass. The elders where disappointed of Genji's actions and decided to take action by ordering Hanzo to kill his brother, yeah just a normal day at Shimada Household. Which unfortunately, he did without a second thought. It was at that time Hanzo realized what dck move it was to kill the only person who mattered to him the most. And thus, he left their empire and gone rogue, seeking redemption and whatnot. He's still wanted by his clan for leaving them and whatnot.




Jesse McCree, 37 years old, on the other hand, was a wanted criminal that hailed from Sta. Fe. Offered his services to Deadlock, a dirty gang from South America, when he was young. Possibly hijacked the hypertrain from Route 66 and that made him a wanted man just like Hanzo. Caught by the authorities and was sentenced a life in prison, McCreee was then offered a job. A job in which he can use his good 'aiming' for, under Gabriel Reyes' tutelage, McCree became a secret agent, more or less, working with Blackwatch a covert division of Overwatch who did things in contrast to Overwatch's mission and values. He worked his ass and bones for Blackwatch until Overwatch's Swiss Base was blown into smithereens and all of the agents, secret or not, disbanded. So McCree was also in a run, coz' he was still a wanted man.


image/s at your own risk







post to be continued due to internet connection. I ain't over bud, I ain't.




The grave cannot hold me,









P. S . shout out to

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for drownin' in this fandom together with me.

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Miss RED


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J O U R N A L | 02



It's been awfully a long time since I've written in here. I was literally buried in a stack of papers at work. Inbetween working and playing games during the weekends, I rarely visited this site anymore. YO has been what I called home for my 'closet' fantasies. Despite all the hectic schedule and randomness, I couldn't help but drop by in here and try to be sneaky. It's been months since I've read a Yaoi manga, manwha for that matter, sans gaming and such.


So in this journal, I'll try to share my fail moments of playing Overwatch. In case anyone isn't familiar of OW (Overwatch) , it's a first-person shooter game much like CS;GO and my ever favorite Call of Duty. I really tried to invest time with Dota, for the life of me, can't know batsht thing about potions and upgrading items while on a heated gameplay. That's why I stick to the simple FPS theme. Simple as it might be, fps games tend to require skill ratings, which I lack thereof.


Here's a couple of lame Play of the Game which requires nothing called skills.


This first vid was a total clutch and desperate means of using an ult. For everybody's information every character in OW had different 'Ultimates' that can be deadly and life saving. It depends on the hero that you're trying to use. There are four classification for the roster of heroes in OW; Attack, Defense, Tank and Supports. Attacks are what you called DPS (damage per second). Defense are heroes that pushed back the enemies and stall them towards their goals. Tanks are the meatshields and are usually in the front lines and protects the whole team. Supports are the healers and supports the team all through out the game. I can't explain well since I'm not really that articulate enough.


In case you haven't noticed, I main Hanzo, a defense hero, in totality. Which sucks since he's the most hated hero in all OW since he required top aiming skills which again I lack thereof. His ultimate happens to release two angry butane blue worms (dragons) that kills whoever it passes through.




Then here's my attempt of a skill based POTG sans ultimate. My aim is pretty bad, please don't throw stones at me. This might not be the first FPS i've played but oh boy I rarely touched my Laptop to play these past few years. Well there are many factors which people tend to aim bad, being nervous is one of them.




Here's also my attempt at doin' weird stuff, my main is McCree when it comes to DPS of attack heroes. I love how he can just headshot people two bullets in, if you don't miss which in my case happens alot.




Oh and a great surprise for this POTG, where I was a sharpshooter? WTF I was literally shocked coz' my teammates did well compared to this. I dunno. Then again, my aim is such a fickle thing. One time I carry a team then other times I literally messed it all up.


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Here's the heroes I'd usually use and fancy.


McCree and Soldier 76

Hanzo and Mei

DVa and Zarya

Lucio and Moira


That aimless Hanzo main,



PostScript, please let me and Red know if you had the game and want to play with us. :')


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I feel sadden for a fact that I don't know how to turn my text into Courier New (I've been using it since the old days here). I'm just not tech-savvy and these open-source things confused the hell out of me. Can someone teach me about it? Help would be highly appreciated. 



I do have to apologize if I have an attention span of a gnat. I am easily distracted--very.

This post is all about sketching. You see I've been drawing some fair share of doodles here and there and I can see I am improving though at a snail pace. The last week I taught my Indian brother how I do my layering at whatnot and trust me it didn't end well. I cannot teach for the life of me, an idiot with totally zero patience. Miraculously, he got what I wanted to convey.


So here's the drawing that I did years ago, I think 2015? I apologize, I don't keep a good track record at remembering. Anyways here's the picture.


As you can see I got tired of the background and just went on with it. Since it took me forever to properly learn how to color digital arts. Those were the days where I first touched my drawing tablet (that sounded wrong but ok.) 


(L to R) Doodle on the overall layout, on what I really wanted my picture to look like ---> Some rough sketches here and there ---> coloring and shadow on the same layer.


It was purely stressful to find some lines that were not supposed to be there and search all layers. I was a newbie back then and I just tried to treat digital art like drawing and coloring on a piece of paper. Apparently, it ended badly on my end



So I've learned my lesson to separate everything from doodling --> to base colors --> to shadows --> then highlights. 

Just make sure if you want to create art you need to properly separate the layers so it won't mess with the other parts. I usually separate my art into different folders under the main folder. I ain't messing around, I'm taking layering seriously so I won't suffer searching for that speck of dot I want to erase badly.


            📁 Skin

                  ↳  📄 LINEART (no one messes with it)

                  ↳  📄 (clipped mask) I usually place my shadows and highlights here

                    📄 Base Color

            📁 BG (Background*)

                📄 the same thing above; with the base colors, shadows and all

(*↳ means clipping mask. ) You can clip the mask from the base color, it depends on what application you are using (PS, PaintTool SAI, ClipStudio). All of the aforementioned apps have clipping masks on them.





-g In

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