Winter's Delight(In need of older Seme.)

[Sosuke0549]

Seeing the others reaction made him stop. Hearing his voice...it was full of fear, uncertainty, innocence. Jun slowly removed his hand from the others pants and pulled away.

"...sorry...I shouldn't have tried to force you...forgive me..."

He lightly leaned over Dylani to plant a kiss on his forehead before removing himself completely.

Just as he did, his phone started to ring. He reached for it, glancing at the caller ID.

"Gotta take this.."

He answered the phone, quickly leaving the room to get some privacy.

 

The others voice seemed to change when the other told him to stop.. it sounded..a little empty.

[JR_TheRandomFan]

Laying there by himself, Dylani had some time to think.What caused him to stop Jun,to sound...empty.His older lover knew how to make him shudder. He knew how to make him so weak in the knees. But something within him just made those touches so unpleasant. It was like there was danger to each touch, that at any moment their embrace would turn into something so wrong. Was it the attack that made him feel this way? It just couldn't be possible. He knew that Jun wouldn't intensionally hurt him. But with what he had been through, he just wasn't sure that he could ever be intimate with Jun,or anyone again. The very thought only made his chest hurt. Laying on his side the blonde trap let those building tears fall freely."I-I'm sorry,Jun...I'm so very sorry..."

[Sosuke0549]

Jun suddenly came into the room hearing Dyanli cry.

"Dyanli? Hey- what's wrong."

He stared at the blond for a moment before sighing and talking into his phone.

"Huh.. yes yes I'm still here...Yeah...tonight? Now?..."

He looked back at his lover biting his lip.

"You see I--... ok but there's--... yes...yes..alright. I'll do it, text you when it's done"

He hung up and ran a hand threw his hair.

"Dyanli...I can't do this now. I have to go.. please stop cry.."

He hurried upstairs to change his attire. He came back a few minutes later wearing all black. He glanced at his boyfriend as he grabbed his jacket.

"I'm sorry, we'll talk later when I get back. Don't wait up.. love you."

He hurried out the door and locked it behind him.

[JR_TheRandomFan]

When Jun came back into the room the trap had a feeling of what the call was about.That favor was being called in, and his lover was going out to get it over with. Dylani sat himself up, rubbing his eyes with the backs of his hand. He didn't speak to Jun. The blonde could only watch as he rushed upstairs to change.They would have to talk about this later. He couldn't hold all of the fear building up inside of him anymore.With his lover leaving,Dylani didn't even have the strength to reply."I love you too..." He whispered before pulling himself up from the couch."Just be careful out there..."It didn't take him long to make it upstairs.He figured that sleep would help keep the worry away, at least for the moment. Dylani slept in his clothes,cheeks still wet from the falling tears.

 

- - - Updated - - -

 

When Jun came back into the room the trap had a feeling of what the call was about.That favor was being called in, and his lover was going out to get it over with. Dylani sat himself up, rubbing his eyes with the backs of his hand. He didn't speak to Jun. The blonde could only watch as he rushed upstairs to change.They would have to talk about this later. He couldn't hold all of the fear building up inside of him anymore.With his lover leaving,Dylani didn't even have the strength to reply."I love you too..." He whispered before pulling himself up from the couch."Just be careful out there..."It didn't take him long to make it upstairs.He figured that sleep would help keep the worry away, at least for the moment. Dylani slept in his clothes.He was drained too far to even get comfortable within those sheets.

[Sosuke0549]

Jun returned to the apartment the next day around 8. He had a busted lip and a black eye, but those were just the wounds that were noticeable. As soon as he came inside to took off hid jacket and shit tossing them aside. He had big purple bruises on the right side of his stomach.

"..shit"

He whispered, His hands were scrapped and bruised from punching something.

He went into the kitchen and made a bag of ice for himself, leaning on the counter and putting it on his fractured rib.

His hair falling in his face.

He'd rather not have Dyanli see him like this but there wasn't much he could do about it.

[JR_TheRandomFan]

The trap woke up to the sound of the front door slamming.Glancing at the clock he could see that it was just around eight in the morning.Jun must've really just gotten in. Whatever he had to do had to have taken him all night.Without much of a second thought Dylani made his way downstairs.The plan was to make his lover a small meal,to see how his outing went.When getting to the kitchen it took all he had not to scream at the sight of his very roughed up lover."Must've been a rough night for you." he said softly as he looked for his first aid kit. The trap didn't have the strength to look Jun in the eyes. His mind still went back to what happened the night before.Once he found the kit he came in front of Jun,eyes still pointed at the floor."Your side is suffering most,right?I think I know how to stop the pain.Lift your compress..."

[Sosuke0549]

"Must've been a rough night for you." [/Quote]

Jun looked up and sighed a little seeing Dyanli.

"You should see the other guy."

He grinned a little, making a joke.

He watched as Dyanli got the first aid kit

"You're side is suffering most,right?I think I know how to stop the pain.Lift your compress..."[/Quote]

"Since when were you a doctor? "

He asked, doing as he was told.

[JR_TheRandomFan]

A soft smile was soon to cross his face before he went to lift his older lover's shirt."I've had my fights too,Jun. Fractures are pretty painful.Let's see if I can have it so you don't have to hold that compress all the time." Placing some cooling gel at his side the trap was quick to wrap it tightly so that it was secure.He then moved over to the cuts with cleaning alcohol, and a sweet smelling cream and large bandage for the bruise under his eye."I'd hate to see the guy on the receiving end of your punches...I'll make you some breakfast so you can take some painkillers."

[Sosuke0549]

"I've had my fights too,Jun. Fractures are pretty painful.Let's see if I can have it so you don't have to hold that compress all the time."[/Quote]"You? In a fight? Ooooh- I would of loved to see that"He sighed softly when Dyanli placed some cooling gel on his side, however he tensed and clenched his teeth when the blond wrapped it tightly, causing him a little bit of pain but he didn't complain. Dyanli then moved over to his cuts, cleaning them with alcohol, causing Jun to curse and swear under his breath to deal with the unbearable stinging, and finally he put a large bandage over his black eye so it would heal. He was all patched up now. "...Thanks.."

"I'd hate to see the guy on the receiving end of your punches...I'll make you some breakfast so you can take some painkillers."[/Quote]"No it's fine.. I'm not hungry, just give me some pain killers and coffee. That's all I want. "He said taking a seat on the couch with a sigh.

[JR_TheRandomFan]

With a small nod the small blonde begun to make a pot of coffee.As he moved across the kitchen he could only wonder if Jun was back to the gang life. Sure he completed this one favor, but how long would it be until his older lover was dragged back more and more.The very thought of it was only making Dylani worry even more.After a moment the young trap came into the living room with two mugs and a few painkillers, handing one mug and a few pills to Jun."Here,I hope that this will help." he said before sitting next to him."If there's anything I can do to ease the pain,then I'll do it."

[Sosuke0549]

"Thanks..."

Jun took the coffee and pills, popping them into his mouth and taking a few sips of his warm coffee.

He glanced at his lover who sat beside him wondering if there was anything he could do to ease his pain. Jun shrugged, setting his coffee down.

"You could ride me"

He joked.

"Dress up like a house wife and welcome home her bad boyfriend."

He shook his head grinning a little.

"No Dyanli I'm ok... I don't think I need anything right now. "

He picked up his coffee again, taking a sip of it, a silence fell over them before Jun spoke up again.

"...So...you gonna talk to me?"

He asked referring to the way Dyanli reacted when he touched him last night and started to cry.

[JR_TheRandomFan]

Dylani could only chuckle as his older lover jokingly rattled off ways that he could make him feel better.Joking aside, the trap was relieved to see his Jun alright.With the silence he wondered what he could say next. It was rather surprising and calming to have his lover bring up last night.Putting his cup down Dylani brought his knees close to his chest,closing his eyes."I'm sorry for pushing you away yesterday.It did feel nice...But it just became so...terrifying.My body could only go back to that night.I've been so uncertain. They touched me in ways that reminded me of Kira, of you."he sniffed softly before he continued."There have been so many questions that I have to ask myself.Like, do I actually like having it...rough? Am I really too sensitive?Is sex even ment for me,after all that has happened?I...I just don't know..."

[Sosuke0549]

"I'm sorry for pushing you away yesterday.It did feel nice...But it just became so...terrifying."[/Quote]

"Terrifying? "

"My body could only go back to that night.I've been so uncertain. They touched me in ways that reminded me of Kira, of you. There have been so many questions that I have to ask myself. Like, do I actually like having it...rough? Am I really too sensitive? Is sex even ment for me,after all that has happened?I...I just don't know..."[/Quote]

Jun was rather surprised to hear all this. He himself couldn't image ever having sex again. He enjoyed it a little more than he should. He knew Dyanli was a little traumatized from his last relationship and even more so with what happened to him but now...he was too traumatized. He didn't want to hurt or scary the other away but... he just kept picturing the others reaction from last night. That fear in his eyes. It was like he saw his rapist rather than him... his lover. It made him want to never touch Dyanli again if he looked so...so...Terrified.

"..I see..."

He glanced at the other.

"Dyanli...I think you should see a counselor. Maybe someone can help you...your traumatized so much that I can't even touch you...love you. "

He looked at his lover seriously.

"Have you been having nightmares? "

[JR_TheRandomFan]

With his knees still at his chest Dylani found himself shuddering as he listened to Jun speak. The thought of going to a therapist for this problem felt so silly, but he could see where he was coming from. The trap had been needing help with this for a long time. If he were to ever have sex again, then he would have to overcome his fear. For himself, and for Jun.When he was asked if he had been having nightmares the blonde could only give a sad nod."The lead always changes... It was that thug the first time, then Kira, and then...you.The lead always chokes me, like he enjoyed that I couldn't run...all of those hands touching me,biting, licking, pounding harder and harder..." he tappered off after that,his face hidden tightly against his knees.The more he spoke of it the more he found himself scared."Jun...I-I really need help...I-I don't want this nightmare again..."

[Sosuke0549]

"The lead always changes... It was that thug the first time, then Kira, and then...you."[/Quote]

Jun was shocked to hear Dyanli include him in his nightmare. Dyanli actually pictured him...raping him?

The lead always chokes me, like he enjoyed that I couldn't run...all of those hands touching me,biting, licking, pounding harder and harder..."[/Quote]

Jun felt a little hurt and sick hearing the other speak about it. He saw him choking him? Hurting him? No wonder he was terrified of him.

"Jun...I-I really need help...I-I don't want this nightmare again..."[/Quote]

"...You can use my lap top to look for a good consular and make a appointment. Ok? "

He thought about reaching out and hugging Dyanli to comfort him but... his lover was scared of him.

"Hey.. I'm really tired so I'm going to go to bed, I'll see you in a couple of hours. "

[JR_TheRandomFan]

Dylani barely flinched when Jun left to rest. He wanted to cling on to his older lover, to let all that he kept pent up all this time forth, but he held himself. It didn't feel safe being alone anymore. Then he felt like he could be attacked again at any moment.There had to be some way to bide his time, so he decided to look for a consoler to make an appointment. For his luck he was able to find one,for tomorrow afternoon no less. Never would he thought that he'd be going for this kind of help, but he knew that he couldn't hide all of this emotion anymore.He only hoped that Jun would come with him. If this wasn't a time that he needed his Jun,now was the time.

[Sosuke0549]

After a few hours, Jun woke up and headed down stairs going straight to the kitchen. He stopped when he saw Dyanli still on the couch and on his lap top.

"Hey, you find what your looking for?"

He asked, coming up behind him.

"What's for dinner? Do you feel like making something? Or going out? "

He was starving!

[JR_TheRandomFan]

"Hey,you find what you're looking for?"

Dylani gave a soft nod before looking back towards Jun."Yeah,I did.I made an appointment for tomorrow.He's suppose to be very good, and reasonably priced too."He had been staring at the screen for so long that he rubbed into his eyes.

"What's for dinner? Do you feel like making something,or going out?"

The trap could only smile before he answered his dear Jun."I already took care of that. I hope you don't mind delivery.I ordered from that one good Chinese place you like.Our food should be here in a few minutes."

[Sosuke0549]

Jun smiled a little.

"Sounds good."

He muttered as he sat next to Dyanli. He wasn't very close to him tho. He turned on the TV and started to flip threw the channels.

[JR_TheRandomFan]

With Jun taking some space on the couch, Dylani simply closed the laptop, placing it on the coffee table in front of him.He wanted to snuggle close to his lover, but something within him told him that he would just be pushed away.So for the moment he held his knees close to his chest and kept his eyes to the screen.Within moments there was a knock at the front door."I got it." the trap said quickly before moving out of the room to grab the food.

[Sosuke0549]

Jun watched as the other got up to get there food. He was glad that Dyanli was going to get help with his problem/ trauma.

When Dyanli got the food He stood and went into the kitchen to make himself a plate before sitting back on the couch and eating, not trying to move too much because of his injuries.

[JR_TheRandomFan]

With the food on the table and Jun already eating Dylani silently prepared his plate and begun eating in the kitchen.He wasn't really sure if he could even be near his lover at that moment.He flet like would just be pushed away if he tried.After a few moments he finished his food,moving off to start the dishes."Jun...Are you doing all right?"he asked."You haven't been speaking much...I'm a little worried."

[Sosuke0549]

"Oh sorry.. I'm fine. Just don't have much of anything to say, muchless talk about."

He stood and went into the kitchen with his empty plate, handing it to Dyanli.

"Here."

He muttered. He went over to the fridge grabbing a water bottle and twisting the cap off, chugging at least half of it down.

"Was there something you wanted to talk about? "

He raised his eye brow, wondering.

[JR_TheRandomFan]

Taking the last plate Dylani breathed a gentle,yet greatful sigh as Jun told him that he was okay.At least one of them were doing alright.

"Was there something you wanted to talk about?"

Dylani was drying off his hands when his lover asked that.He was tempted to talk farther about his problems,about tomorrow.But he couldn't worry Jun about that tonight. He only wanted to be closer to his lover." Nothing that can't be said tomorrow. I hope that you can come with me to my therapy session.I...I feel a bit more comfortable going if you came with me." The trap was soon to wrap around Jun, hiding right at his back.They hadn't really been close since he came back.He really needed the hug."Mmph... Why am I so...broken?"

[Sosuke0549]

Jun shrugged.

"..I mean. Yeah I could go but...I didn't really wanna go out still.. looking like this."

He was still freshly bandaged up.. It still had been less than 24 hours since he got in that huge gang fight. It was better for him to rest and lay low for a few days.

"I guess we could get ourselves a taxi, I shouldn't be walking around too much..--"

He stopped feeling Dyanli hug him. The older male sighed at his comment.

"Everyone's broken Dyanli..not just you.."

He said softly.

"Come on. "

He pulled away from Dyanli and took his hand, bring him over to the couch. Jun layed down and pulled Dyanli to him, wanting him to lay on him and use his chest as a pillow as Jun flipped threw the TV channels again, until he found a decent show to watch.

Jun's hand rested on Dyanli's back, stroking him gently as he watched TV. He was quiet.