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It's About the Look... (w/ JR and ZX)


JR_TheRandomFan
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As he had a preference for images over written text especially when symbolism was present or an opinion needed to be expressed, Wren at first only focused on the drawings that existed in the sketchbook and ignored the words that could be found on the same pages. He studied the trap's portrayal of himself that was similar to real life and so equally feminine and infuriating. A frown appeared on his lips as an automatic response but as more time passed with him observing the drawings his initial dislike of them began to dull. He started to watch the sketches with attention centred on the quality of the art and in the end admitted to himself that there were aspects of the images that he did like. The realization brought and even less friendly expression to his face and to remind himself that the way the trap dressed and drew himself was wrong he picked up a pencil and considered what comments to add. Before he'd as much as scribbled one line into the sketchbook his eyes strayed to what the small mad had written and his hand that held the pencil grew still.

 

Wren read entire paragraphs of the crossdresser's thoughts and as he did so the weight he'd felt on his chest when seeing the man cry before returned. The sensation that he still couldn't identify grew less tolerable by the minute until at one point he decided he'd had enough and closed the sketchbook. What was mentioned and described shouldn't had shaken him, at least not so severely but he couldn't make sense of what he was feeling and thinking. After a long moment of silence he placed the pencil down, having forgotten whatever derogatory term he'd thought of and returned the sketchbook into his backpack unedited.

 

He hated to admit it even to himself but the small man's suffering was getting to him. He was eager to know why he thought back to what he'd done so often and more than anything he wanted put a stop to it and not care.

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As the evening slowly turned to night the young trap found himself lost, unsure of what to do. He had finish all of his assignments for tomorrow, eaten dinner, made lunch for himself, and laid out what he would wear for the next day. In all of that he found himself laying within the sheets, watching television without much interest." Tomorrow is another day." he told himself." You can only hope that you can get though it less broken then you already are. Maybe you will get your book back. Maybe...Maybe it'll still be in one piece..." Char had always been told to see the best in people, no matter the circumstance. Recently that task only became more and more difficult. How could he even forgive such a hateful person, to forgive someone that beat him so badly.

 

Sinking lower into the covers the trap tiredly closed his eyes. It had been a long day, and he really wasn't sure he wanted such a day to last. Slowly he dove into a deep, pain induced slumber. He was sure that it would all be better tomorrow. It had to be better. What hope would the trap have if it always became worse?

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It was an issue for Wren that when night fell his thoughts were still heavy with what he'd learned about the trap from his writing. There wasn't much in his room to keep him distracted and lull him to sleep other than the laptop he was uninterested in. He kept in mind what kind of struggle it was for him to wake up in time for class even when there was nothing eating away at him and keeping him up so late so he did his best to drift off as soon as he could. He shifted periodically all the while keeping his eyes closed and eventually he did fall asleep.

 

The small clock placed on the ground by his bed was what shook him awake a few hours after and was also what suffered as result of the brief outburst of rage that followed. It was fortunate though that the device had been thrown and kicked around the room many times, a few even unintentionally, and so it was already verified that it would continue to work well. All that was left for Wren to do once he'd forced himself up and into a fresh change of clothes was to swing one strap of his backpack over his shoulder before he could speak out of the house, more like a burglar than someone who lived there.

It was shortly after looking through the smaller man's sketchbook the previous day that he checked his schedule and confirmed that he would have a chance to meet him again in the same class this day. He intended to stop him on the hallway before class if he could find him though and this was why he hurried to school for once.

 

Already on arrival, his eyes moved over the for now mostly empty halls in search of the small man and he intended to go through most of the school since he didn't have even the slightest idea where the crossdresser might be.

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The next day the trap woke up early as he usually did. With a drowsy stumble to the bathroom came the usual ritual of a quick, awakening shower. Wounds from yesterday gently throbbed, but calmed themselves quickly to the warm rush of the pouring water."Another day...Another day to pull through and to see what I can learn. I'll have to worry about how to get my sketchbook back though...I know that I can find out a way,somehow..."There was no time to really worry about such a thing. For now he had to get ready so that he could get out on time.

 

In one of the quickest times that he could recall, the trap found himself out of the shower,changed into his clothes, and out the front door to catch up to the bus that was just pulling up. Right on time,as always. Thankful for the long ride to school Char was able to fully wake himself from his drowsy daze."Mmph....I even wonder if he will even come. He probably won't even give it back,but I have to try..."Time seemed to slip by for the trap was already in front of the school. Stepping off he tugged on the long sleeves of his his sweater before walking forward.

 

No one paid the trap any mind as he walked the halls,and to his relief he didn't need the attention. Looking over the halls with his uncovered eye Char kept an eye out for his attackers,in case that he needed to run. He wasn't even sure if his body could take another beating.

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Wren had hoped to be civil and give the sketchbook back without being hostile but the odds of that became increasingly slim as he continued to search for the owner of the book and failed to find him. It was because of how early he'd arrived at school but despite how annoyed he was to have to wait for the trap to show up he preferred that to staying home longer and running into one of the other inhabitants of the house.

 

It was during his second search of the hallways that he found the man and by then he was frowning and was visibly irked. This was partially because he worried his friends had arrived by then as well and could interrupt him and complicate things.

He walked closer to the trap with a quick step and crossed the small distance between them in a fraction of a second. The small man was turned away from him and, by then lacking patience, he decided to roughly grab hold of his arm and spin him around rather than ask him politely for his attention.

 

For a brief moment Wren only gazed down at the other man with his features set in a harsh expression but then he slid the backpack off his shoulder and started to look through it in silence. His eyes shifted uncomfortably over the hallway in the meanwhile, searching for the other three bullies. Only after he found no sign of them did he take out the sketchbook and look again at the crossdresser as he handed it to him.

-"You forgot that yesterday." He explained, primarily so the trap couldn't make a grave mistake and accuse him of stealing the book from him.

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It all seemed like a simple morning until he was pulled aside.

 

The sight of his attacker from the day before was enough to shake the trap right to his core.He still had that same irritated expression, though he wondered if he would even take that frustration out on him again.Visibly shaking there was a long pause of his attacker rumaging through his backpack to pull out his sketchbook no less. Taking it in his hands, the trap held it close to his chest before looking through it. All of the pages were as he remembered,not a single stray mark."Thank you...Thank you for returning this..." His wide eyes shined with thanks as he tucked the book back into his own bag.

 

In an instant Char brushed some hair from his ear before speaking again." I'm sorry if holding this might've been trouble to you... Tracking me must've been even more troubling too. I am very thankful for you doing this..."

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Wren had expected the trap to flip through the pages of the sketchbook looking for scribbles and other damage that might had been done. He didn't blame him from that brief examination, after all he had for a moment intended to write into the book and was even unsure what had stopped him.

He was however, upon receiving such polite and honest thanks from the crossdresser, somewhat glad that he hadn't done anything cruel. He had assumed the small man would thank him in some way but he expected something short and forced, even cold, like a light nod or a few quietly mumbled words. He was pleasantly surprised by what he received in stead and even attempted to be marginally friendly to counter it.

 

-"You shouldn't carry that around with you... They'll go through your things eventually and you'll have more to write about in there if they find it." Wren warned the trap, partially because he felt obliged to do that much and partially because he suspected that treating the man nicely for a moment might help prevent him from feeling that awful unknown emotion again that always came over him when he knew the other was suffering.

He didn't bother to conceal that he had read through the sketchbook and now knew all of it's contents, he didn't intend to use the knowledge against the other male but forgot to take into consideration how it might bother the trap that even one person had seen his thoughts written out on the paper.

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"After almost losing this,I would think that keeping this home would be a good idea." Clearing some hair from his face the trap looked over the other man with a rather different look. He would not expect that getting his book would be so easy. In fact he didn't even think that his attacker would eve try to come for him to give his sketchbook back. It made his heart beat a little faster than before. Out of the corner of his eye he could see his other three attackers glancing around, looking for their friend he could only guess. "T-Thanks again..." he said weakly."I think I should go now. M-Mmph..."With a simple turn the trap ran off in the other direction,clutching on to his bag as he ran.

 

The day was beginning to come to his favor as he went down the hallway. He wasn't sure why,but his cheeks were still burning even after he left the other young man. He only hoped that those other attackers did not see him flee. With the three boys finding their friend, they came around him,giving their usual smirks."Hey Wren,we've been looking for you everywhere. Geez,you never come this early."

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Wren questioned himself inwardly why he didn't leave and continue with his day now that he'd returned the book and said what he had to the other man. Nothing good could come out of them standing in the hallway, watching each other with an occasional word said. If his friends were to catch sigh of them or were to even hear of this meeting of theirs they would surely cause the trap trouble and argue with Wren as well. There was something that kept him in place however, a curiosity that forced him to stand beside the crossdresser so he could watch him and speak to him.

 

Wren frowned angrily again when the other man ended their conversation but he could read from the tone of his voice and the way he ran off that it wasn't his wish to leave so suddenly but that he'd spotted the other three bullies.

As expected, in less than a minute his buddies surrounded him and he looked at them grimly though keeping himself from lashing out at them for interrupting.

-"Had nothing to do at home so I came here." Wren wasn't a very good liar but he'd had time to think of what he would say to his buddies that morning, he knew they would notice and find it unusual that he'd arrived before them for once.

-"Are we going to class?" He asked hoping to seem like he was bored which partially he was.

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Glancing over Wren the the three boys gave a nod to each other before they began to walking the halls." None of you seen our little friend today,have they?" One of them asked."Nope,that pretty boy must be hiding from us,I just know it." One offered." Well I'm sure he'll be around somewhere. That freak can't hide forever." With the three of them laughing to themselves they continued their way towards their next class.

 

In his homeroom Char pulled out his sketchbook and flipped it to a clean page. For whatever the reason, he began to draw the boy that gave him the book back in the first place. He couldn't believe why,after all that had happened. But he couldn't help himself. The trap owed him so much,no matter what happened. With a few storks of his pencil he was able to get a rough start on his face. Having to be able to recall such features of his face was even more surprising. If he could admit it,the boy did look rather handsome.

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While he followed silently behind the three men, such anger developed in Wren that he even astonished himself. He knew however that he had valid reasons to be annoyed and he refused to even try to calm himself and wouldn't bend to his friend's will and follow along with their plans like he had before. They had already punished the trap for speaking back to them, there was nothing left that to Wren justified hurting the small man again. Of course, the way he dressed was still a provocation but not a good enough one to earn him a daily beating or constant insults.

Besides that, even if his friends did hate the crossdresser to that extent, they had to know that repeatedly going after him would cause much more trouble than their usual fights. The four of them would never complain to their parents or a teacher about being hurt or in danger and even if they did they all lived in such families that no one would show much concern. The same applied for the people they normally made enemies of but Wren knew it was a different story with the trap and if they were caught abusing him or were to injure him seriously they would all have a huge problem.

 

-"We should leave him alone, he's already afraid of us... and it's not even interesting to pick a fight with him, he couldn't hit back even if he tried." Wren knew he was setting himself up for an argument but hoped the other three would see some of his reasoning, as unlikely as that was.

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Looking over their friend the three young men stopped slightly before rolling their eyes."Oh come on,Wren. You have to admit that beating on that little freak was pretty fun. Seeing him cry, pushing him closer and closer against that wall... such a weak target is just too good to pass up again. We'll hold ourselves back for now. But don't think that we'll leave him alone." Going back to their walk the three kept going down the hall."If I didn't know any better, I think you've caught a hard on for the little crossdresser." one of them joked." You haven't gone soft on us,have you?" The other boys simply laughed at this, shaking their heads as they walked off.

 

Humming softly to himself Char wore a soft smile as he was walking off towards his next class. His heart couldn't stop pounding against his chest. It wasn't really clear,but the boy that handed back his book came to his mind from time to time." I believe his name his Wren..."he said to himself."I should do something for him,to thank him for what he's done. But how...?"

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Even if they overlooked how repulsed he'd become by the idea of hurting the cossdresser the three men should had known they would only make Wren's temper flare by teasing him. He excused it as them just looking for a laugh though and spared them of everything he could have said in return. Despite what a source of trouble they were, these men were his friends and he was reluctant to outright insult them or instigate a fight, so he only trailed behind them quietly.

 

While they walked and even more so once they seated themselves Wren thoughts of the trap and checked the time repeatedly, impatient to be beside him in class again so he could watch him freely if nothing else. He disregarded both the rest of the group while they spoke in barely hushed voices and the ongoing lecture and wondered with a soft frown what he was suppose to do with this concern he had for the trap.

 

By the time the bell rung and he was free to head towards the next classroom where he would be close to the source of his curiosity and worry his thoughts had strayed in countless directions and he was unclear on what to feel. He knew though that the last thing he needed was his buddies dragging him off to waste time outside or even worse following him as they sometimes did in stead of making their way to their own next class.

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Within the time of the next bell ringing the trap had unknowingly finished his sketch of the boy that returned from earlier. To his surprise the detail seemed to be so spot on. Who knew that his recall for detail could be so accurate? If he could also recall the boy who he figured would be named Wren would be sitting next to him in a Statistics class for the next hour or so. He wasn't dreading that hour, or even giddy about it. The best word to describe the feeling would be curiosity. It still puzzled him that his book came back in one piece, without a single mark.

 

What would compel a bully to do such a thing, he could not guess. He could ask, but he would not risk the chance of his friends trying to beat into him once more.

 

Keeping his bag close to his chest Char ventured through the halls, keeping his head down as he made his way to their shared class. To his relief Wren's friends didn't tail him towards the room. But the two did slightly bum into each other as they were trying to enter the room at the same time."I-I'm so sorry." He said quickly." I really should watch where I'm going."

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Already upon noticing the trap further down the hallway, coming closer as he approached the classroom, Wren's attention focused on the small man and his eyes followed him. Like the previous time they had been forced to be close to one another, he watched the crossdresser freely, without even trying to conceal his curiosity and this resulted in him seeming very impolite and most likely making the other man uncomfortable.

 

When they collided by the door, he didn't think much of it but seeing how the trap started to apologize he nodded lightly to assure him that he didn't mind. It did frustrate him though that they were lingering in the hallway for longer than needed and still paranoid that his friends might appear he grabbed the other man by the wrist and led him into the classroom and out of the way of potential danger.

Wren pulled the smaller man along all the way to their seats and glanced at him with confusion in his eyes as though he wasn't sure if he was suppose to let go of him. After a brief delay he did though and seated himself quietly.

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The grasp on his bare wrist at that moment only made the trap let out a slight yelp, cheeks a bright red as he was being pulled into the classroom. The contact of his fingers against his soft skin could only be thought of as a soft tingling sensation. It made no sense that such a feeling should be there with just a simple grip of his wrist was just unheard of for him. When at their desks Char could catch the slightest look of confusion on the boy's face. It was like Wren was contemplating weather to let go of him go then or not. After a moment he made a choice and let his wrist free. To continue the silence the young trap sat in his place, pulling out his materials for the class.

 

Every once in awhile the trap drew his gaze to Wren as if he was checking on him, catching a few more details of his face and form to store in his memory. He was right to think of the boy as good looking. It only made Char feel more cautious about his appearance. During a quit moment of shuffling around the trap pulled out his drawing of the boy and placed it on his desk." A show of thanks, for what you did for me..." he explained softly."It isn't much, but I feel something handmade would be a better show of thanks."

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Despite returning the trap's sketchbook Wren had assumed the violence he'd inflicted on him would be what the small man would think of whenever he was around him. It created conflict in him to realize the crossdresser wasn't afraid or as disgusted by him as he'd expected. If he could for a moment forget about his friends or even better everyone around them, he would had accepted the drawing easily and even smiled at the other man. However,the reality of how much trouble he could get himself into by being friendly with the trap plagued his thoughts and he knew the smart thing to do was to harshly reject the small male's show of gratitude.

 

-"I see myself often enough..." Wren muttered, his voice grim though not because of what the other man had done but because he hated having to be mean to him even when he didn't deserve it. "Keep it, if you like it." He said and despite his attempt at still seeming harsh he spoke these words softly as he handed back the drawing. Their eyes met for only a moment as Wren glanced at the other but in that fraction of a second what he felt was apparent in his expression and it almost seemed like he was silently asking the trap for forgiveness.

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  • 2 weeks later...

With his small gift being returned to him Char had to silently question why.It wasn't a bad drawing, and he was sure that the other man would like something made by hand.But his questions were soon answered as he had forgotten Wren's 'friends'.If the young man were to actually accept his gife and be kind to him, then who would know how much drama he would be put in. He would be teased even worse than himself. The trap wouldn't even find the strength to forgive himself if he caused something like that.

 

As they caught a single glimpse to each other the trap could only figure that Wren was silently asking for his forgivness.Surly he could muster that.Putting the torn page away Char pulled his sketchbook away before he spoke."I'm sure that you would've liked it too."He mused softly."Not to upset you, but you do have a great figure to practice anatomy." With the tone of his words the trap seemed to say several things at once.A sign of a compliment, a sign of understanding, a sign of forgiveness.He knew that he couldn't show much more, but he hoped that his words would leave Wren knowing a little more.

 

With the bell signaling the end of period Char silently collected his things. He couldn't help but to give a single glance to Wren as he left. Being unable to express what they really thought must've been torture.Maybe there could be some way for the other to show what he really felt.If he could help to do that, he would find a way.

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The answer Wren received as the other man took back the drawing left him with an array of emotions to analyze and struggle with. Before all there was relief, he recognized in the crossdresser's words that he forgave him for rejecting this gift and he was thankful for that much understanding. Wren didn't miss how the trap's words carried a compliment as well however and this is what caused him trouble. He first wondered why the small male would bother to find something about him to compliment but then it puzzled and annoyed him to realized how glad he was for that small, vague compliment.

 

At the end of class, when the other man glanced back at him and he was offered a chance to communicate some hint of what was going on in his head he made sure not to miss it. Only for a moment so no one else would catch the expression on his face he smiled softly at the trap. He himself wasn't yet fully sure what he was revealing in this way but the smile appeared naturally on his lips while he watched the other now after they'd spoken peacefully to one another and he knew the trap didn't hate him.

 

Wren only wished he could hurry after the other man and walk beside him through the hallways rather than return to his friends. He explained to himself that such an idea came to his mind only because he was now very curious about the crossdresser, still he was beginning to wonder if there was more that drew him closer to the other.

 

He walked close behind the crossdresser but only until reaching the door where he took off in the opposite direction though his gaze staid locked on the other man for a moment longer, causing him to look over his shoulder as he turned away from him.

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Walking the halls the young trap couldn't help but to wonder. About Wren, about his actual feelings towards him. Perhaps that fight yesterday was not fully let on by his emotions. He had that feeling that Wren's hate, or mild disinterest would drive him to beat into him like that.His friends only seemed to drive the poor man into things that he wasn't even interested in doing. A true shame to have such people around,but what could he do?The next time they meet, Char had to push a little more with talking to him.He had to get this straightened out.

 

On their trek through the halls those three thugs were able to find their friend again."Hey Wren!" one of them called." Geez man, it always so boring without you.I could've sworn that I saw that little crossdresser running away from you.What'd you do to him?"

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Wren walked with his gaze fixed on the ground, closed in his own thoughts and unaware of the hallway and the passing students until a familiar voice called for him. He looked up and seemed almost confused, like a man suddenly and harshly forced to wake up but after a moment he collected his thoughts and with a frown approached his friends. Despite the trouble they caused him, a part of him still liked to see the three men but he was finding it increasingly difficult to forgive them for being a obstacle between him and the small man he was so curious about. He couldn't go without either of the two, his friends because they'd been by his side for as long as he could remember and the crossdresser because of the odd weight that was added to his chest while he sat close by him in class and stole glances of his features. He memorized every small thing that the trap would reveal and learned the way he moved and behaved while he, unlike him, followed the lecture. Occasionally his eyes would find bruises on the man's skin, though most were concealed he knew where they were and he felt ashamed of himself for knowing how each of those dark marks were formed and most of all for being partially responsible.

 

-"The teacher was watching us so I could only speak to him." Wren explained and from the way he spoke it was easy to assume he'd some something sinister when that wasn't the truth at all. He had no issues lying to the others, he'd already had to do so long before the crossdresser became relevant to any of them. For years he concealed where he lived, who his parents were and what it was like for him at home and even now he would lie with no regrets if any of those topics came up.

 

-"Don't you have anyone else to keep you busy while I have him all to myself?" He asked and the words were laced in anger even though he intended to seem unmoved by the topic. As though to clear that annoyance that had formed in him he shook his head and started to walk to their next class, expecting the group to follow.

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"Hm, just as I would figure. You always seem to hog all the fun to yourself." One of them simply shrugged off before coming next to him."But since you've already claimed that little freak as yours then we'll back off. I'm sure the rest of us can find someone to mess around with." In a fit of silent agreement the rest of the group went off to talk about something else. It seemed that talking about the trap any farther would only add on to the boredom they already suffered through. And none of them were willing to go through that again.

 

 

Going through the halls alone the trap couldn't help but to worry how Wren was. Being around people that would push him so much was something he couldn't picture. In his opinion the trap would prefer being alone than being with such people. Being in that empty classroom Char did have some time to sketch again. To his amazement he began to sketch the other man once more, but he wasn't alone that time. Subconsciously he drew himself next to him. They only leaned against each other, as if they were staring ahead at the blank space of the page. There could be something there, but he wasn't really sure what to put.

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Wren couldn't believe that his friends gave up so easily on tormenting the trap and left it to him to continue what they'd started. He remembered they'd had other victims in the past and always grew tired of them but now, perhaps because the person in question was beginning to mean something to him, he was paranoid and suspicious that the group had caught a glimpse of him and the crossdresser and were now intending to trick him. However it was pleasant to think of being able to follow and approach the trap without worrying of what his friends would think.

 

For the remainder of the day Wren walked the hallways and sat in class in silence, absent-minded both considering if he had reason to doubt the bit of freedom he was given concerning the crossdresser and because his thoughts often drifted to the small man. He wondered where he could find him and what excuse he could make for being around him if he does. It had slipped his mind for a while that his wanting to be close to the trap might be odd and seem inappropriate to the young man himself. Though he'd tried to thank him with the drawing that didn't necessarily mean the trap wanted to spend time with him.

 

Wren was still willing to take a chance though and at the end of the last class he broke away from the group without explanation and hurried to the front of the school. Outside he found himself a place some distance from the entrance to the building and waited, hoping the crossdresser hadn't left already.

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In those last hours of the school day the brunette trap was thinking. Thinking about his usual lectures of course, but for the most part about the other man.Besides the class they shared he had no clue where the stock young man went to class throughout the day, if he even went at all. There was something about him that made Char bring up questions.How was he like without his friends around? Was their more to his hatred towards him besides his obvious crossdressing?Could Wren just be a giant softie if one would know him long enough.All were interesting but the chances of him getting an answer for them were extremely slim.

 

When the final bell for the day rung Char made sure to keep note of his surroundings.As he walked out of the school he noticed those three bullies, but no Wren. That only made him question where he was. Perhaps he just wanted to go home and just didn't want to be bothered. Pushing that thought aside the trap moved off to begin his walk home. With some distance away from the school building's entrance his eyes caught the sight of something surprising.It was Wren!Was he waiting for someone, or for some reason was he waiting for him? Whatever it might've been he just had to find out.

 

Tugging on the strap of his messenger bag he stopped in his tracks and looked over to the other man. An unreadable expression crossed his face before he began speaking." I've kept my promise and haven't told anyone about what happened." he began." You're Wren right?Um...are you doing all right? You seem to look a little anxious."

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Wren himself was unsure what he'd expected when he'd placed himself close by the exit and started waiting for the trap. Only when the other man approached him he became certain that he would have rather liked him to walk by and head home without starting a conversation. He was still reluctant to speak to him, afraid that his friends would figure out why he really wanted them to find someone else and leave the crossdresser to him. It didn't help that the other pointed out how anxious he seemed, in fact it was this that triggered him to act.

 

Without warning, Wren reached out and grabbed the trap's arm with a grip strong enough to bruise his skin and started to drag him along as he marched across the court yard. He frowned, angry with himself for once again hurting the other, even in a small way like this. There was no excuse good enough to convince him that he had nothing to feel guilty about.

 

The moment they made it out on the street and were partially hidden Wren's grip loosened but he still held onto the other male and he looked at him in silence for a brief moment before finding an appropriate question.

-"Where do you live?" He asked, eager for them to head in whatever direction the trap points them to so they wouldn't be so close to the other bullies.

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