K Posted April 28, 2011 Share Posted April 28, 2011 :hamtaro-005 (44): (cloudy's another soft bl poem) ANTIDOTE A forest, but wasn't Dark suits, aren't? Flying papers, black or white? Fireball, dim or bright? Such shadows, so blur Those droplets, what for? Soft murmurs, prayers? I need to be closer Surroundings, un-mellifluous Made me so confuse White stones, everywhere Something must under there Dark hole, underworld? Glass case, too bold Familiar face, underlies A face of me, twice? This chest, I felt Came narrow, can't breathe Inhale within, mouth widen Heart dribbles, then lighten Eyes woke, and see Still blur, somewhat clear Mind is set That place, I can't let I came to felt Warm palm, finger candles Large, soft, and gentle Touches this hand, mingle Finger candles, wiggles Teary eyes, so subtle Rosy lips, starts to whisper Soft words, longin' to hear His face towards mine Tightly embrace, then sigh In a jiffy, he cry And kiss me without lie Standing in front of me A man, gentle and free ANTIDOTE of this dying sea Now, I could live for eternity (opinions and comments, honestly, i love reading them, speak your feelings guys, toward this ) 9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JenovaVII Posted April 28, 2011 Share Posted April 28, 2011 The «finger candles» concept was interesting. Unexpectedly cute, even. In the end, what really got to me was the last strophe. So heart wrenching *.* «ANTIDOTE of this dying sea» is going to be my favorite expression for a long time as of now, I'll be remembering it a lot, I just know it. I think I'm getting an idea for an illustration based on it~ Thank you for yet another exquisite piece. Your writing style is just right, the words you utilize and the way you use them to form the sentences is captivating. More, please. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Matti_19 Posted April 28, 2011 Share Posted April 28, 2011 I totally agree with JenovaVII! A very very good poem Cloudy! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chacha Posted April 28, 2011 Share Posted April 28, 2011 I like it a lot! :leaf12: This is my fav part: Standing in front of me A man, gentle and free ANTIDOTE of this dying sea Now, I could live for eternity How cute and romantic! :msn_red_fox 8 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K Posted April 28, 2011 Author Share Posted April 28, 2011 @jenova . .you poured my heart with so much happiness, on your comment, especially that a line from it marked you, thank you so much! @matti, chacha . .i supah appreciated your compliments guys, TO ALL, (and to those more who will left comments and thanks) . .i can't express too much words for it was my heart was poured of too much appreciation from you guys, domo arigato gosaimashita :leaf3: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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