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Fullmetal Alchemist: The Anti-Hohenheim Club (+16 oneshot)

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Title: The Anti-Hohenheim Club

Fandom: Fullmetal Alchemist (2003)

Characters: Edward Elric, Envy

Type: one-shot

Age: +16

Warning: violence

Cathegory: action, family drama, some humor, brothers






Ed was just standing stunned, after Dante told them everything. No, it can’t be! It can’t be! He looked at Envy, who screw up his eyes and looked back at him. It seemed, the homuculus was really angry because they shared the same blood. But the young alchimist couldn’t digest the truth. No, it can’t be! It was true, he didn’t know much about Hohenheim’s past, but it just can’t be true! That thing, that soulless monster can’t be his older-brother! It can’t be! It’s impossible!

”It can’t be…” Ed murmured. ”It can’t be… It can’t be…”

”Now everything is perjink now” Envy said with malice and disgust in his voice. „”Now I see why are you bear a resemblance of him. Your face, your hair, your eyes! They are like his! But now you pay for everything!”


Envy attacked Ed so quickly that the blond alchemist almost had any time to get ready and parry the blow. He knew Envy is a dangerous enemy, he was not only a great manipulator and spy, but he was very good in close-quarters combat. He was a great fighter, strong and his moves were very athletic, so Ed knew it will be hard for him to beat the homonculus. They danced arount the ballroom, they were punching and kicking eachother and Envy did everything to beat Ed. The boy knew Envy is now not fighting for only fun, not only testing his power, but he’s mad and has killing passion in him. That’s why the homonculus was now much more dangerous than ever before when they were fighting. Ed was cautious not to make a mistake, but he did one anyway. Envy managed to kick him in the stomach and the young alchimist hunched up in pain. Envy kicked one more time into Ed, than got him and threw him to the floor. Ed was screaming as his body reached the floor but he didn’t even time to realize what had happened, when someone sit on his stomach and grabbing his right hand didn’t let him to stand up. Ed tried to break free, and when he looked up, he saw purple eyes sparkling with anger, a beautiful face of a young boy and long, green hair. Envy!

”Let me go, Envy!” Ed shouted, but it was in vain. ”What’s the matter with you?!”

”You! Everything is your fault! Everything is your fault!” Envy shouted and with his free hand he hit Ed on his face. ”It’s your fault! It’s your fault!” Every single word came with a blow and soon Ed’s face was a mess of blood. ”It’s your fault! He left me because of you and your brother! He exchanged me, like a used dress, he threw me away like a dirty rag! He exchanged me!” The homonculus’s voice was queer, it was full of enviousness, jealousy and something that sounded deep sorrow and Ed felt his heart missed a beat. ”I hate when someone exchanges me! Nobody can exchange me! Nobody!”


More hit was blown on the young alchemist’s face, who was desperate to protect himself with his left hand with a little success. The protection only made Envy much more angrier, because he stopped the beating and transformed his hand into a long and sharp knife. Ed was gasping for air, his eyes were wide, as he watch his half-brother. He needed to do something, othewise Envy will kill him and he just couldn’t die yet. Not until he didn’t give back Al his body, not until, he didn’t got back what the Gate got away from him. Not until they didn’t defeat Dante, and didn’t save Amestris. His mind was working, trying to figure something out, as he watched Envy who was grinning wildly with mad fire in his eyes and hold up his hand. He seemed to be enjoying himself.

”Say bye-bye to your life, Pip-squeak!” the homonculus was laughting and was ready to bear down on Ed.

”Wait!” Ed shouted. ”You are right, he left you alone, but you are not the only one! He left me and Al too! It wasn’t our fault at all, it was that bearded-blond bastard’s fault, who couldn’t stay put! Everything is his fault, not yours, not mine, not Al’s! Do you understand it, Envy?!”


Ed saw Envy’s hand shaking, and all he could have done is to hope that his words reached the homonculus. He wasn’t sure Envy completely understood what he said, he was gasping for air, his heart was beating really fast and waited. Al was laying not very far from the, he was nothing more now than a broken armor and Ed didn’t know his younger is alive, or his soul already left. He didn’t dare to turn his head, he looked into Envy’s eyes, because he wasn’t sure what might happen. Than slowly, very slowly Envy’s hand transformed back, and the homonculus dropped it. Envy let go of Ed and stood up.

”You are right!” he said and offered his hand to Ed. ”You are right, Shorty.”

”Don’t you dare to call me Shorty!” murmured Ed, but let Envy to help him stand up. The homonculus was laughting happily. ”So am I right?” the alchemist asked, as he tried to clean up his face with sleeves. He was hurt everywhere, but he didn’t want to show it.

”Yes, everything is that bastard’s fault” Envy said. ”He left all of us, he didn’t want us. He would deserve a kick in his pants.”

”Well, it’s too late for that” Ed sighed. ”But I have a better idea. We should make a club.”

”A club?” The homonculus was blinking confused. ”What kind of club?”

”An Anti-Hohenheim Club, where we can freely ream that son of a bitch’s ass out for leaving us alone. Or for anything else, that comes in our minds.”


Envy was thinking for a few moments than he was grinning and nodded. The siblings agreeded really quickly about the club, and the began to malign and belittle the man who they could be glad to be alive, but he was neve there when they most needed him. Maybe they didn’t agree with everything, but they did in this one thing.




The End

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