He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not [18+, smolcat]

[iaintinnocent]

 

 

 

Akihiko Hirose

Age: 21

Gender: Male

Sexuality: homosexual

Position: Top

Height: 5 ft 9 in (around 175 cm)

Weight: 150 lbs (around 68 Kg)

 

Likes: lingerie and sexy clothing (strictly secretive about it), erotic magazines, kitten, sweets, baking and cooking, volleyball, a person's specific smell

Dislikes: loud people, spicy foods

 

History:

Akihiko is an only child in Hirose family. His mother died when he was only three years old and so he started living only with his father. Depressed after the loss of a loved one, his father turned a cold shoulder at his only son. Merely two years passed after his mother's death, his father left little Akihiko alone in their house and until now he is nowhere to be found. Long story short, Akihiko was taken in by a relative, his mother's sister. Confused, naive little Akihiko was raised in Kawata residence without knowing the whereabout of his parents (it seemed Aunt had to tell a white lie about his mother since he was still too young to understand).

 

Due to this circumstances, his personality was built and because of that his personality, Akihiko only has few close friends since he was a kid. His inability to make friends seemed to have piqued Yori's, Aunt's son, interest. Since then Akihiko and his cousin had spent a lot of quality time together. The only one he'd ever smiled warmly at was Yori and his happy-go-lucky, childish behavior. He didn't mind spending all day playing with the boy, staying with him during a black-out (Yori hates darkness), and he even shared his favorite cookie with him. He's fond of him and cared about the boy a lot.

It seemed that Akihiko's fondness towards Yori was becoming a bit too much and unnatural. He'd rather go watching over Yori's bicycle, as the older boy left for karaoke with his own friends, and stupidly waiting like a loyal dog instead of accepting a bunch of girl's request to tutor him mathematic (Akihiko has bad scores in almost every subjects besides p.e.).

 

Only when he grew older he realized what his feelings meant. He knew he'd do whatever Yori had told him to and he'd probably jumped off a bridge on Yori's 19th birthday back then if the older boy hadn't caught his arms, shakily stopping him just in time, only because the older boy had ordered him to. It was a joke. Yori's way of teasing the younger, yet taller boy, when he asked if right then Akihiko would jump into the river for Yori.

"You could've actually lost your damned life, you fucking idiot," Yori had said sweatily. "That was... fuck, you scared me. You should've not done that."

Akihiko only replied with a shrug, telling that he had only followed his instinct, which was to fulfill anything to make him happy.

 

That was when he was fifteen and Yori, who's three years older but smaller in body size (which makes him adorable, thought Akihiko), shared a kiss.

 

"Aki-chan, you're a bloody idiot." Yori's sad smile still lingered in his mind. He hadn't known until now why the other boy had made such a heart-breaking expression.

 

Akihiko's first kiss, with a boy and a cousin at the top of that. It was deep but chaste and that exact moment he knew it was not a brotherly love he had towards Yori. It was romantic feeling, the forbidden love between males and moreover cousins, that bloomed in his chest. He had never talked about it to anyone and he's still so glad he did not. Because when he and the Kawata family knew Yori's interest was to boys, just the same as him, Aunt was so angry and kicked him out.

Yori, with his stubbornness, angrily left the house and since then Akihiko had lost all contacts to him.

 

Right after his first love left, Akihiko had buried his feelings deep in his heart and turned to live his awfully quiet and monotone life. Broken-hearted and confused, he became the clueless guy and the Akihiko now.

 

He left Kawata household when he graduated highschool. He had decided to not continuing his study to college for now and learn about bakery and sweets instead, hoping to open up a bakery of his own one day. And now at the age of 21 he and some of his friends had started his very first business rather smoothly. For now his hope is that one day his bakery will get popular and well liked.

 

 

Strengths:

strong-willed

patient (just exactly what a baker's supposed to be)

independent

loyal (one of the reasons he has bad luck in love)

observant

caring

willing to learn

 

 

Weakness:

shy and quiet in a crowd of people (he's learning and trying real hard to open up more)

rather selfish

passive, not expressive about his feelings

submissive

easily overwhelmed/flustered

low alcohol tolerance, yet still loves to drink

[smolcat]

 

 

 

 

Name: Kaede Fujioka

Age: 19

Gender: Male

Sexuality: Demisexual / Homosexual

Position: Bottom usually

Height: 5'6"

Weight: 115 lbs

 

Personality:

 

Kaede is a fairly agreeable young man. That is, he's not constantly getting into fights, and he doesn't seem extremely aggressive. However, he's quite assertive with his emotions and often will express anger or annoyance with other people--something he's trying to get better at suppressing. He tries to be docile, not voicing his opinions or showing too much emotion, but at times it becomes a bit overbearing and he lashes back--which he usually regrets doing afterward. Usually when he does lash out, it's against the wrong sort of people, who end up doing more damage than he's able to.

 

Because of this, Kaede is sometimes hesitant to speak his mind. Of course he can't help it when he's bottled it up for too long, but he has trust issues and often gets too afraid to even say, "get out of here!" or "leave me alone!" He's also afraid to seem weak to others, so even when he's scared or about to break down, he always tries to hold his ground and act tough--which often annoys and further upsets his oppressors.

 

Because of the violence that he often endures, Kaede is a bit rough around the edges. He tries not to touch other people or make physical contact with others much, but when he does he can sometimes be a little rougher than he probably intended.

 

However, Kaede is not necessarily a terrible person, even when he does eventually explode and get mad. He always tries to control himself around those he cares about, and when he trusts someone, he's usually a lot more open to them about his feelings, and he shows a much more gentle, caring side to that person. He's also very protective, trying to help others even if it gets himself in trouble. As much as he's afraid of getting hurt, he'd rather be the one that gets hurt since he's used to it, and would rather make that sacrifice if it can help someone else. He's quite noble in that sort of way.

 

Kaede also has an odd sense of humor, sometimes laughing at things that he shouldn't, or making self-depreciating jokes to help him cope with his apparent depression. Kaede also loves sweets, italian pasta, and drawing. He loves getting sketchbooks that he fills up with either detailed drawings or silly sketches. Kaede also, surprisingly, likes classical music as it helps him calm down, and he often burns incense in his room to ease his tension as well.

 

He also enjoys being touched when by the hands of his lover. Although being touched normally makes him tense and uneasy, after a particularly stressful day he enjoys being wrapped in his boyfriend's embrace and exchanging small kisses. Kaede also is a bit of a cuddler in his sleep, especially when he gets nightmares (which are pretty common for him).

 

History:

 

Kaede's mother left his father for another man when Kaede was a young boy, and she ultimately disowned Kaede in pursuit of her own life's happiness. Drowning in sorrow from his loss, Kaede's father turned to alcohol and gambling to cope. He was very neglecting, however, and Kaede had to pretty much raise himself since his father put so little effort into it. He had to take care of his father many times as well when the man was too drunk to take care of himself.

 

Growing up this way, Kaede's life was rough. Whenever Kaede would get money from birthday gifts from distant relatives, he found quickly that he had to hide his cash in order to keep his father from stealing it to buy more alcohol or gamble. His father was also verbally abusive to his young son, and sometimes would even hit him. However, it was never enough that Kaede felt he had to run away and get help, it just made him less trusting toward the man and cautious about what he said or did.

 

Because of the behavior he endured at home, Kaede grew up a little more on the aggressive side, sometimes getting into fights at school even. It wasn't too uncommon for him to return home with cuts, scrapes and bruises. And as he entered high school and began to gain an interest in other males, he began to endure a different kind of bullying at school.

 

Needless to say, things were rough, and Kaede had a hard time finding any sort of joy in his life. He considered drowning his sorrows in alcohol like his father, or taking up smoking and drugs, but eventually decided against it. Around the time that Kaede graduated high school, he decided to try starting life with a clean slate. Moving out, he promised himself to try being a better person, refusing to become like his father and the other punks at his school.

 

When he moved out, he took up a job in a bar, working as a waiter. The job was a lot less bothersome, though fights would still sometimes break out among the drunkards and he'd try to get between them to break up the fights, which often resulted in him getting hurt as well. For the most part, though, his new job wasn't terrible--especially in comparison to the lifestyle he was used to growing up. And his home life is certainly better as well, since he now lives with his boyfriend he met a while back, Akihiko.

[iaintinnocent]

"I'm home."

 

A tuff of bluish black hair peeked inside the room from the front porch, not really expecting an answer. The young man let out a soft sigh as he loosened his tie. Hirose Akihiko eventually had had a lover and lived together in their shared apartment for some months. Yet for the countless times he came back home to an empty house. It might be to be expected since Fujioka Kaede, his sweet little boyfriend, worked in a bar and only once in a while he got to leave earlier.

Akihiko took off his coat and put it out to the hanger, his eyes sweeping the room for a bit, only to easily spot a huge pile of blankets and pillows on the couch in the living room. A soft mew was heard from between the fluffy things Kaede must have left behind before he went for work. The black haired male smiled softly at the sound of his beloved kitten, his fatigue from baking all day in his shop melted right away.

 

"There you are, sweetpie," Akihiko called, picking up the cat and into his chest. He nuzzled its soft fur and kissed its tiny face. "Lonely without me?" He chuckled when he was affectionately licked on his cheek. Akihiko once again let out a sigh of contentedness. Nothing relaxed him more than a quiet house and the company of his kitten but poor boy, his peace didn't really last long since after a little while an alarm from his phone went off, reminding him of his duty to prepare dinner. For the third time in the last ten minutes, Akihiko sighed but this time another smile bloomed in his face when his kitten meowed, as if to cheer him. "Ah, yes, you're right. Time to cook, eh?" Another nuzzle and a few kisses exchange later, he finally got up from the couch and headed towards the kitchen, making sure to leave Acchan, his kitten, and refilled his food. Akihiko put on his apron as he glanced at the clock. "Hm, Kaede-kun should be home in an hour. I better start now."

[smolcat]

It was another long day at work, but the day hadn't been particularly terrible. Kaede was able to do his job, and there hadn't been any fights that broke out today. A few heated arguments that quickly settled, but no violence. It was always a good day if patrons didn't get physical with one another. Kaede whistled a little as he rode his bike home. It wasn't a long ride from his home to work, thankfully, and he found a bike to be the most effective way to get about town. It was cheaper, and better for the environment. Plus it was healthier, too. And Kaede knew he wasn't always the healthiest person...

 

But things were certainly shaping up now that he moved in with his boyfriend. There were times where Kaede was so neglecting of himself he'd forget to even eat for a day, or he'd be caught up doing other things and pulled all-nighters. Stress used to consume him, too, among other things. It used to be difficult for him to fall asleep, too, even on days where he did remember to get some rest. But he was getting better. It was a lot easier with Akihiko around.

 

His boyfriend, being a baker, often made meals when Kaede forgot to. He gave Kaede a reason to go to bed--since the younger boy didn't want to be up all night and have Akihiko sleeping alone all the time. And he felt a lot more at east around the man's gentle personality. He also had a cat, whom Kaede had grown fond of as well. Stroking and petting the animal helped him feel at ease as well.

 

So things were better. Much better. And Kaede was almost always happy to be returning home each night knowing what he had to look forward to. It was definitely unlike anything he'd had before, and he loved it.

 

Finally arriving, Kaede locked his bike on one of the bike racks before heading up to his apartment. He took out his key and opened the door, though it was usually unlocked anyway when Akihiko was home. Entering the apartment, a soft smile made its way to the boy's lips. Closing the door behind him and taking off his shoes before putting them away, Kaede headed into the kitchen where Akihiko was working. "Hey," he greeted with a gentle smile.

[iaintinnocent]

Akihiko had heard the front door swing opened and he didn't need Acchan's meow to know who's coming, even before that familiar voice called out. His boyfriend was home just in time Akihiko was done cooking. With a kind smile, the taller male turned and greeted Kaede with a kiss on his head. "Welcome home," he said, taking off his cooking apron. "You haven't eaten yet, have you? Food's ready, so wash your hands and feet while I set the table, okay?"

 

Most of their days were spent like this; every morning after preparing breakfast Akihiko went by foot to the shop he run with a few friend, baking cookies and cakes, and then came back home around evening to cook dinner for both of them to eat. Kaede worked by night, sometimes until midnight when Akihiko was already asleep. Only once in a while when they both had a day off, they would go out checking out a movie or just to spend a day in amusement park. Ah, also sometimes when there's a chance and they both felt like doing it they would have sex, but that's almost all the fun they had. Even if it only had been a few months, it felt kinda... off. It was as if their doing was all routine and plain monotone. He often wondered too how at the first place he accepted when the boy was being all serious and confessed his love to him. Sometimes he thought he really liked the boy's face and all but to think again, if it's not for the sex, it would look like Akihiko's taking care of a younger brother.

 

Akihiko shook his head to clear his mind from those rotten thoughts when Kaede appeared in front of him across the table. He quickly put on a smile as he sat down. "How was work today, Kaede-kun?"

[smolcat]

Kaede smiled a little when Akihiko gave him a welcoming kiss on his head. He shook his head a little at his boyfriend's question and did as he was instructed, leaving the kitchen without another word to go wash up. He returned shortly after and sat down at the table with Akihiko. The meal he'd prepared looked delicious as usual, and Kaede couldn't help but to get a little excited.

 

"It was pretty uneventful today," he said returning the smile. "So it was good." He brushed his hair out of his face a little bit. "Thank you so much for the meal, Akihiko-san," he said with a timid smile as he then began to enjoy the wonderful meal that Akihiko had so thoughtfully prepared. It really did mean a lot to the boy. "How was the shop today? Anything interesting happen at work?" he asked, trying to engage in conversation.

 

He wasn't home super late today, which was nice. It meant that they had some time together before they had to sleep. It was always nice when Kaede had some spare time alone with Akihiko. Even if they were both silent, Kaede didn't mind. He just liked being in the other male's presence, he didn't care if they even did anything. He just always felt so at peace around him, and that was all he really needed. At least, that's the way he felt. He was sure that Akihiko would prefer to do something rather than nothing, though. Especially if they had free time.

[iaintinnocent]

Akihiko shrugged while his mouth was still full of the meat stew. "Not really," was the only thing he managed to say in between chews. He was a slow eater--if not slow everywhere else, but that's what he would rather called a baker's patience--and it took some time before he could speak freely and properly. "Today's not so busy and I'm happy for that," he added with a small chuckle. "Oh, but do you remember Mrs. Takinoue from the neighborhood? She came today and brought her grandchildren."

Akihiko's blue orbs sparkled happily as he told him about how lively the bakery was for the time when the kids visited. The man had always liked children and he was very good handling them too. He liked cute and small things and perhaps that's one of the reasons he let Kaede swim his way into his heart.

 

There were times when they didn't really have other thing to talk about and comfortable--was it?--silence just lingered in the air. In that time Akihiko occasionally had a brief flashback to when it had been such stressful days back then and he frequently went out to drink to calm himself down. One night he was very depressed because of work, despite his low alcohol tolerance, he drank and kept drinking until he lost his mind and began to talk like a stupid person. He remembered one of the bartender later told him there was a certain waiter that accompanied him through the night, whose name later he learned was Fujioka Kaede. He wasn't accompanied in that way, instead the clueless waiter was dragged by the baker and had to sit down listening to Akihiko crying his heart out about a boy named Kawata Yori. Poor boy, Kaede-kun must have been confused about that whole thing.

 

It always brought a smile to Akihiko's lips whenever he remembered how silly their first meeting was. Just now when Kaede asked why he was smiling to himself, Akihiko thought he should recall the boy's memory too. "No, I was just thinking about the day I got so stupidly drunk and had you sit with me instead of working. It's still so funny."

[smolcat]

Kaede smiled a little as Akihiko spoke of Mrs. Takinoue and her grandchildren who had passed by during his work hours. The boy got a sort of distant look in his eye as he admired how much Akihiko lit up while talking about it. He really was such a good guy. Akihiko would make a wonderful parent, Kaede was sure of it. Though the boy knew very well that he could probably never have a family with Kaede...

 

The thought lingered for a moment, but the boy tried not to think on it. Instead, he continued to eat the wonderful meal that Akihiko had provided for him. A long silence ensued as they ate--Kaede more quickly than Akihiko. But that's the way it often was.

 

While drowning in their own thoughts, Akihiko smiled a little. Curiosity tugged at Kaede's heart. What was he thinking about? Did something come up, or was he still happily reminiscing over the children that had come by his shop today? "What are you smiling about?" Kaede asked. "Did I do something funny?" He certainly hadn't meant to, but quickly grew a little embarrassed at the thought he'd done something funny to Akihiko. Or perhaps he just looked funny--

 

"No, I was just thinking about the day I got so stupidly drunk and had you sit with me instead of working. It's still so funny," Kaede's lover replied. The boy calmed down a little at the memory, and a gentle smile tugged at his lips. He chuckled lightly.

 

"Yeah," he said. "When you tried to get me to leave the bar I was kind of scared." He'd never been raped before, but the fear of something like that happening still got to him every time he passed a dark alleyway. Though Kaede assumed those things only happened in movies, he'd still been nervous during that time as well. He still sometimes lived with that sort of fear. "But instead you just talked, and talked, and talked, almost the whole night about your woes!" Kaede smiled a little. "And it was nice knowing I could help a stranger, even if it was just getting stress off of their chest by listening to what they had to say."

[iaintinnocent]

The black-haired man laughed softly.

 

"Yeah, you're right. It was kinda sad for me," he stated, gazing rather blankly at the plate before him, food about half-eaten. Although they both joked about it, he still wondered if Kaede knew that he was seriously depressed that time. Yes, he was so drunk that time but none of his talk was made up. Akihiko had been ignoring his broken heart long enough for the pain and emotion to build and pile it. It was surprising if it eventually explode that night. Come to think of it, Akihiko hadn't given any explanation about that issue to Kaede, not that the younger ever asked about it. It's a private matter and Akihiko didn't feel like suddenly talking about it if the other person didn't ask, even if at this moment he was his official lover. Once again they both were enveloped in silence, save for Acchan's soft mewing and Akihiko's silverware clinking as he continue to eat silently. The young baker became rather sad at the thought of his past. Even though now he had gotten himself a boyfriend, Akihiko couldn't help but to keep thinking about Kawata Yori; his cousin and his beautiful first love. He had lost all contact with him since years ago, the last time he saw him was when Akihiko was in still Kawata household. When he was just a naive 15 years old boy, grieving alone when Yori was kicked out of the house by the homophobic Mr. and Mrs. Kawata. He grew up alone, without knowing a mom's kiss and warm smile from a dad, not aware of what was right or wrong. He grew liking his own cousin and falling deeply in love with him. He had never brought it up to anyone, he was afraid of rejection. He even wondered if Kaede knew about this all? Had Akihiko even told him about his parents?

It's only a proof that they hadn't known each other that well after all.

 

The baker looked up when he felt a pair of hazel orbs staring quietly at him and it kind of made him feel bad. It always effectively melt his heart whenever he took a deep stare into those beautiful eyes. Something that reminded him of Kawata Yori.

 

Akihiko then changed the topic and made a comment about how funny Kaede expression must have been, seeing an emotional drunken stranger weep over something and ask for the clueless waiter's advice. "God, it was still so embarrassing. Some of your coworkers still tease me for that when I come over," Akihiko added, chuckling to break the tense atmosphere. He had done eating by now, taking up almost half an hour to devour all his dinner. "I'm done now. Let's wash up the dishes later. Do you wanna do something?" The young man asked with a gentle smile on his lips. They were still lovers after all and Akihiko loved to cuddle his boyfriend's pretty face.

[smolcat]

"Of course it was, you were going through a rough time, and I understood that," Kaede said softly, folding his fingers together and holding them in front of his mouth, his elbows resting on the table. He was silent. Akihiko had been pretty depressed around that time, but it wasn't anything Kaede wasn't used to seeing. It was pretty normal for people to drink when they were depressed. Working in the bar, he saw it a lot. People who just had a break up, or got fired, or lost a loved one... it wasn't strange, much. Of course, there were the casuals who were just looking to have some fun, or to get laid, or were just looking for trouble. Kaede had a few scuffles with angry drunks who were more aggressive from the alcohol than they normally would have been.

 

Akihiko continued eating dinner, and Kaede continued to be silent. He watched his boyfriend, his honey-colored eyes scanning over the male's features. He was quite lucky to have someone like Akihiko in his life. At least, Kaede thought so. He enjoyed that Akihiko wasn't always talking all the time, and that they could be quiet and in their own little worlds sometimes. But he also liked it when Akihiko did ramble. He liked how gentle and kind he was, and how sweet and motherly he was as well. Akihiko always did such a good job taking care of others--the cat, his boyfriend, the apartment. Why, even the things he baked, it was clear that he put much time and thought into it. And Kaede loved that about him.

 

Of course, he also loved how handsome he was, too. Akihiko was, in Kaede's eyes, the best thing that ever happened to him.

 

Akihiko finally spoke up again, speaking of his embarrassment of the memory, and even mentioned how some of Kaede's coworkers still teased him. Kaede blushed in embarrassment. "R-really? They do?" he asked, flustered. "I'm so sorry--I'll tell them to stop, I didn't realize they still teased you over that..." He thought the situation had been cute, if anything. Certainly not something to be teasing him over.

 

When Akihiko finished, he suggested washing the dishes later so that they could do something else instead. Kaede blushed slightly at the idea, and stood from the table. "Ah, well, I wouldn't mind doing the dishes now," he said, collecting their plates, cups, and utensils. "I mean, it'll only take a couple of minutes, and then we'd have the rest of the night to do anything else without having to worry about them later." He smiled and kissed Akihiko on the forehead. "Don't you think?" He took the dishes over to the sink and turned on the water, getting a sponge and some soap as he rinsed them off and began washing them.

 

"What do you want to do tonight, Akihiko-san?" he asked as he got to work.

[iaintinnocent]

"Ah, thank you. What a good boy you are, Kaede-kun," he praised his little lover with a small chuckle when the brunet offered to do the cleaning up. Not wanting to just sit around doing nothing, Akihiko got up and decided to help. He grabbed a piece of cloth and began wiping the table. He also took care of the leftover, putting the rest of the meat stew in a small food container and save it for Kaede to eat later the following day when Akihiko was at work. Or... the day after tomorrow because he just noticed it was his weekly day off work. That week was tough for the black-haired male and he had done a lot of orders, it perhaps was reasonable enough for him to forget things.

 

"What to do, hm? I wonder if we can stay up late today?" asked Akihiko while putting the leftover into the fridge. He then walked up behind the shorter boy who was still doing the dishes and couldn't help but to pull him close into a hug. He linked his long arms around his tiny figure and rested his head lazily on the boy's shoulder. A smile bloomed in Akihiko's lips as he took a sniff of his boyfriend's hair, satisfied to have his nostril full of Kaede's natural body scent. Akihiko closed his eyes and pressed his lips to the boy's ears, whispering softly, "Tomorrow's my day off. Do you wanna go somewhere?"

[smolcat]

Kaede smiled a little at what Akihiko said. A gentle smile continued to play on his lips as he got to washing the dishes, listening to his boyfriend move about the kitchen as he cleaned up the table and leftovers.

 

"We can stay up late if you want," Kaede said quietly as he continued washing the dishes with hot and soapy water. "But I still have work tomorrow so we can't be up all night..." Suddenly he felt the arms of the other male slide around his smaller form, making him smile a little at the contact. He continued washing the dishes happily, enjoying Akihiko's head on his shoulder, and the smaller boy giggled when the older male whispered into his ear. Shying away with an embarrassed grin on his face, the shorter boy nodded. "If we can find time to do something before I go to work, I wouldn't mind doing a little something with you," he said with a smile, finishing with the last dish as he turned off the water and put it away to dry.

 

"Maybe I can ask for a day off soon so we can have the whole day together," he thought, drying his hands on his shirt before turning around to face his lover. He gently pressed his lips against the young man's neck, giving him a soft kiss before smiling a little and looked up at him. "What do you want to do tonight?" he asked, wrapping his arms around his lover's neck.

[iaintinnocent]

Akihiko gave a short laugh when he caught his boyfriend dry his hands on his shirt. That bad habit should go, Akihiko thought.

 

"You should've dried your hand with a paper towel, silly," said the taller guy with a small shaking of head, showing disapproval, although his body language showed affection still by pulling him closer by the waist. He had to lean forward a little bit to have their forehead touched against one another and had just enough gap to increase intimacy between them. "Hmm, taking a day off, you say? Is that okay? Will your boss even allow it?" A train of questions was thrown all at once and a soft hum of approval followed.

 

"That sounds nice, though. Spending the day together, only me and you," whispered the taller boy dreamily while admiring the shape of Kaede's lips and his cute button nose. "But what if he cut off your pay? We need it, you know. For Acchan's food." Akihiko grinned playfully despite his contradicting words. After a while, he pulled back a bit and let out an exaggerated sigh, saying, "Fine, then. It's up to you. You can ask for a day off if you feel like it. But either way..." He trailed off, once again closing the gap between them to steal a chaste kiss on the smaller male's mouth, adding in a whisper, "We should definitely stay up tonight."

[smolcat]

Kaede's cheeks reddened slightly as his boyfriend called him out on his bad habit. "Ah, sorry--" he apologized quickly, flustered and embarrassed. It wasn't a big deal... Still, the smaller boy smiled when Akihiko pulled him closer by the waist and gently pressed his forehead to Kaede's. The boy smiled at their closeness, and the slightly taller male started asking a bunch of questions.

 

Maybe it wouldn't be the best decision for Kaede to take the day off... then again, he worked overtime so often that he could probably afford to, but... Akihiko was giving him mixed signals. It would be nice if they could have the day all to themselves, but it would probably be best if Kaede kept working, anyway... The boy let go of Akihiko as he wandered away for a moment, trailing off with his words before quickly coming back, pressing his lips against Kaede's in a quick kiss that left the boy smiling.

 

He blushed a little at what was suggested. "Y-yeah," he said quietly. "I think I'll work tomorrow, anyway... but I'll just try to get off on time instead of working later..." He grinned a little and leaned up slightly to press his forehead against Akihio's. "But tonight we have the whoooooole time to ourselves," he said with a playful grin as he then planted a soft kiss on his boyfriend's lips again. "What do you want to do, hm?" he asked, smiling sweetly and resting his chin on the other male's chest, looking up at him a little.

[iaintinnocent]

"Hm, great then," Akihiko hummed an approval hearing that his boy eventually made a choice of his own. Just sometimes Akihiko couldn't help getting a little bit annoyed at how Kaede would always ask for his opinion for almost everything. He got it if it was something necessary but the young guy asked a little bit too much. Like that day when they were supposed to be having a fun date but Akihiko ended up getting a tad annoyed. It started when he told his boyfriend to get anything he'd have liked to eat and let him pick the restaurant that time but instead, Kaede kept asking back what Akihiko wanted to eat and have him choose, instead of himself, for the both of them. At first, the baker thought that it was kind of cute for Kaede to always think about his lover's preference over his own but since it didn't happen only once a while, it did start to make Akihiko rather irritated. To Akihiko himself, that seemed as if Kaede didn't trust him that he wanted to give the brunet his freedom, that as if he was scared if things unpleased his boyfriend. Akihiko wanted to let him know about that but he just hadn't had the courage to, somehow, after seeing those pitiful yet beautiful eyes. Those eyes who always brought back the painful memory of his first love, Yori.

 

But the black-haired male let out another quiet, annoyed sigh when his younger lover once again asked him back. When would he stop being too dependant? "Well, why don't we just fuck right here in the kitchen? I haven't tasted you in a while," said the young man aggressively. Somehow it sounded rougher than he was planning to and it did not come out in a good and seductive way but instead more like... angry. Akihiko didn't even fucking know why but he suddenly kind of feel in a bad mood all of a sudden. He used to be so calm and composed so why did he get so angry over small mistakes his boyfriend did?

 

"C'mon, isn't this what you want? Doesn't it what that kiss on my neck mean? You seduced me, did you not?" Akihiko roughly tugged on Kaede's shirt and groaned in frustration when he felt the smaller boy struggle in his arms. No, this wasn't what Akihiko meant... but why did he do it? Was the thought of Yori hurting him so badly he started to take it out on his poor lover? Akihiko didn't notice he had slammed Kaede and pressed him tightly against the counter until he heard the boy whimper in pain. He realized he had gone too far and retreated.

 

"Fuck, what's gotten into me?" he cursed, slumping on the table. "I... I'm so sorry, Kaede. I shouldn't have been so rough... I was--I'm probably just tired." He even dropped the endearing title he always used toward his younger boyfriend. Akihiko mustered up the courage to look up into his eyes, wondering if he fucked up much their supposed fun night.

[smolcat]

Kaede was surprised when Akihiko suddenly sighed, sounding annoyed. He took his chin away from the man's chest, looking up at him with concern when the other male then suggested they fucked right then and there. Kaede's eyes widened at the suddenly aggressive tone of his boyfriend's voice, and he shifted uncomfortably. He sounded so... demanding. "W-wait, no," the boy breathed, growing tense at the change of attitude.

 

He gasped when Akihiko suddenly tugged at his shirt, roughly pulling it up and revealing the boy's scarred skin. Kaede quickly put a hand on Akihiko's chest, wanting to push him away, and trembling slightly in his fear at the sudden change. He closed his eyes and gasped. "N-no--" he said, not knowing how else to answer. Had he upset Akihiko in some way? The change was so quick--one second they were giving gentle kisses and caresses, and now this. Is this what the kiss on his lover's neck had meant? Is this what Kaede had wanted? No... he was just trying to be sweet--to show the one he loved some affection, and maybe prompt them into doing something like that, but not like this.

 

The boy inhaled sharply when he was slammed into the counter, pressed tightly by his boyfriend's body into place. He whimpered, his grip on Akihiko's shirt not loosening as he tried to push him away. It hurt. He didn't like being pushed around like this by someone he trusted, or to be treated so roughly like this. He wasn't used to being handled this way by Akihiko. Why was he suddenly acting like this? Was it something he'd done?

 

But Akihiko stopped. Much to Kaede's relief, the older male released him and backed away, slumping against the table and Kaede stood there, not meeting his gaze, his head bowed slightly with one hand still on the counter he'd been pushed against. Akihiko apologized for his behavior, and the boy gave a small nod, unsure of how to respond. He didn't know what to say or what to do. Akihiko had never been like that before. And it scared Kaede. Would he do something like that again? Would he hurt Kaede next time? Would he hit him if he upset Akihiko again? Kaede still didn't understand what he'd done wrong. What happened to make Akihiko so mad? Was it because he was tired? Really? Even when Akihiko had been tired--exhausted, even--before he'd never behaved like that. Did something happen at work that he wasn't telling Kaede?

 

What did I do? What did I do? Kaede thought, still not looking at him. I don't know what I did wrong. I don't understand what I did. He was hesitant, but walked over to Akihiko and placed a gentle hand on the man's shoulder before lightly grabbing his arm. "Come on. I think you should just get some rest," he said, speaking quietly as he tried leading him out of the kitchen and into their room.

[iaintinnocent]

I'm so fucked up, was the only thought that kept running back and forth in Akihiko's mind and he was feeling deeply guilty about it. Akihiko wasn't a violent person to begin with. He never liked getting into a quarrel and he'd rather avoid arguments, thinking it might unnecessarily lead to a physical fight. So why did he do that, he himself didn't know. He couldn't believe he just roughly pushed Kaede onto a wall. He couldn't believe he spat his temper to his innocent boyfriend, who practically knew nothing about his frustration.

 

Ah, yes, he never really told Kaede about his problem--not only Kaede but mostly everyone. He was just that kind of guy who usually unable to express himself well and much preferred to keep to himself what had been troubling him. This time wasn't something big to be fussing about and it was just small troubles that had piled up since a week ago. First, from the first day of the week he hadn't been getting enough rest, tossing around at night and waking up earlier than he usually did. That surely frustrated a boy who liked to sleep like Akihiko. Secondly, he had gotten many orders that week and a little while before delivery day, he accidentally burned a tray of cupcakes and he was so angry at himself for such novice mistake. Last but not least, tiring and busy work did have an effect on his sexual life. Just like he said, Akihiko hadn't been pleasuring himself sexually for a quite some time. It, too, disheartened. A healthy young man like him surely had his needs.

And since he was easily overwhelmed and drowned in frustration, probably Kaede's relentless questions was the trigger to his depression that eventually made him explode in anger.

 

So when he was lightly tugged, Akihiko just obediently stood up and let Kaede make their way towards the bedroom. He kept whispering 'I'm sorry' under his breath as guilt gnawed his whole body. He never meant to hurt anyone especially his own lover.

 

"Kaede..," he started quietly, head hanging low as he sat on the edge of their shared bed. "I'm so sorry for... doing it all to you. We should've had a fun night but I ruined it. I just..." Akihiko paused mid-sentence when he tried to reason it. Not knowing what else to say, he let out a desperate sigh and he pulled on his hair lightly. "Fuck, I'm the worst."

[smolcat]

Kaede was quiet as he lead Akihiko into the bedroom, allowing the other male seat himself on the edge of their bed. The boy was unsure what to do. A part of him was still shaken up and, in his fear, wanted to avoid Akihiko for the rest of the night. He was tempted to go to the living room and read before sleeping on the couch, but... Akihiko had been apologizing so profusely and he seemed really genuine with his words... it wasn't normal for him to act like this, anyway, so...

 

The young man stood in front of Akihiko, bowing down slightly to plant a soft kiss upon the other male's forehead. He gently ran his fingers through his hair. "Hey, hey," he said softly, gently cupping his boyfriend's cheeks in his hands before looking into his eyes. "You're not the worst... there's so many people who are terrible and mean, and who hurt others and--" he shook his head a little, deciding he didn't want to think about it. "You're not the worst. It's okay Akihiko, I... I'm not mad at you. Besides, that was... not how you normally are, so... so I can forgive you... we can still have a fun night, it's not ruined," the boy said softly, offering a smile.

 

He slid himself down onto Akihiko's lap, facing his partner as he then gave gentle kisses to the man's cheeks. "The night's still young, and we haven't had sex in a while, anyway, so..." he blushed a little. Even though he was no longer a virgin, he still got a little flustered at the idea of Akihiko having his hands all over him, touching and caressing him like nobody else was allowed... "You've just got to promise to be gentle on me though, okay?" he asked, gently kissing Akihiko. "Would that be okay?"

[iaintinnocent]

Feeling his boyfriend sneak onto his lap, Akihiko positioned himself to make a room for the boy so it would be more comfortable for both of them. A smile soon formed on the baker's lips at the suggestion. Akihiko curled his arm around the smaller boy's waist, hand snaking to give his butt a light squeeze. Yeah, this was probably what he needed the most at the moment to relieve his frustration: a passionate night with his cute boyfriend.

 

"Mm, yeah, sounds great," he hummed. It took no time to capture Kaede's mouth on his own, tasting the sweetness on his lips--probably coming from his favorite fruity liquor he discreetly sipped at work. He pulled back a bit, only to tease, while his jokingly saying, "though I don't think I can keep my promise to be gentle. Not after weeks without the feel of this sexy bum of yours." His voice dropped in a low and sensual tone, in which he knew best would excite his boyfriend in the best way possible, but not to scare the boy, he then laughed a bit before continuing where they left before.

Akihiko might not be the best kisser but he knew where and when to nibble on his lip to make Kaede feel good. His hand wasn't idle, infiltrating his clothes to feel the smoothness of the skin on his back--or not so smooth. He had noticed the scars on his boyfriend's body since a while ago but it still kind of startled him every time. He sometimes wondered if Kaede was telling the truth about where he got the the scars--it's rather arguable, okay? With a face that adorable and innocent and a figure that didn't look strong at all, how could he get into fights?

But it's not important for now. Akihiko would ask about it later but at this time, he just wanted to relax and have fun with his boyfriend.

 

"Thank you, baby," whispered Akihiko on the brunet's ear, nibbling his earlobe gently. "For forgiving me... and for this best form of stress reliever." He pulled back, smiling all again, after getting comforted by the boy. "Let's enjoy the night, shall we?"

[smolcat]

Kaede grinned a little when his boyfriend snaked his hand around his smaller form, he enjoyed the attention. He wrapped his arms around Akihiko, resting them on the man's shoulders as he smiled against his lips. Blushing a little when Akihiko spoke about how he may not be able to be so gentle, Kaede smiled a little. "You think I'm sexy?" he asked before giving a small chuckle. "Boy, I've got you fooled," he said in a somewhat playful manner. "Just be as gentle as you can manage, okay?" he asked with a smile, letting Akihiko return his lips to where they'd been before. Akihiko was the sexy one, if anything. But the boy would take a compliment, and he was glad that his boyfriend felt that way.

 

Kaede enjoyed Akihiko's kisses, the gentle bites with his hands gently running against his skin beneath his clothing. He was already getting excited for what was to come, quickly becoming glad that he hadn't sulked in the living room with a book after all. His hands carefully made their way to Akihiko's shirt, where he helped the man undress--slipping kisses upon his lips as he did whenever the fabric wasn't separating them. He blushed a little when Akihiko whispered in Kaede's ear, nibbling his skin gently. "If you were stressed, you should have just said so," the boy mumbled, nodding nonetheless at what Akihiko said. He quickly began to take off his own shirt, undoing the buttons as quickly as he could before his hands made their way to the belt that helped keep his shorts up.

[iaintinnocent]

The black-haired male sighed quietly in content when the fresh, cold air met his sweaty skin. He shook his head lightly to Kaede's words and just placed his hand on the least rough skin on the boy's side, rubbing up and down slowly.

"Nah, I don't wanna burden you," said the baker, leaning back on his hand while watching Kaede stripped his own clothes off. "You might've stressed over it too if I told." Akihiko hummed as he let the younger boy take care of their clothes. "It's okay, Kaede-kun, it's just little things that I ignored for too long."

 

"But maybe you're right," he quickly added, remembering the incident that happened just a few minutes ago. He exploded in anger from those little things. He didn't want that to happen again, it's still clear in his mind how shocked Kaede looked. "I'll tell you later if something's bothering me." With a smile, he reached up to connect their mouth together, this time he didn't hesitate to deepen the kiss with a play of tongue. Hands began working their way into Kaede's pants once the belt was unbuckled, gently stroking the covered cock over the fabric of his underwear.

 

"I'm more like, sexually frustrated, you know. I really miss fucking you." Expression was flat on Akihiko's face but the way his breathing got heavier was enough proof that Akihiko was excited for this.

[smolcat]

Kaede was quiet, enjoying Akihiko's skin as he gently caressed the boy. Akihiko seemed to be in a fit of thought, at first dismissing the younger boy's suggestion before giving it some thought. At least he was considering it now, though. Kaede knew he wasn't good for a whole lot, but... if he could help people--especially his lover--then he wanted to. Even if the most he could do was listen, at least it was something. Besides, he could probably offer at least a little bit of help... if not a suggestion, then at least some support, and...

 

Kaede closed his eyes, allowing Akihiko's lips to connect with his own. He made no opposition to the other male's tongue, rather enjoying its soft caresses. The boy moaned softly when Akihiko gently stroked his member through the fabric of his briefs. "Y-yeah," Kaede said, blushing somewhat with his partner's heated breath against his skin. The boy planted another kiss upon the male's lips before breaking away for a brief moment, his expression heated as he grew more and more excited for what was going to occur. "Where's the lube?" he asked softly, blushing a little.

[iaintinnocent]

"In the second drawer," told the black-haired to the brunet. Akihiko sat back and watched his boyfriend's smaller figure stretch to get the lube without leaving Akihiko's comfortable lap. Akihiko smiled a little seeing his boyfriend's adorable face all flushed like that--and the best feeling was knowing that only him could make him like that. While Kaede's still busy with the drawer, his eyes then traced down his smaller body. To those shoulders which were not too wide but enough space for him to give plenty of love bites, down to the chest where two sensitive nipples hardened, reacting to his touch. Though with the tempting view, Akihiko's smile slowly faded. Moreover when more scars covering his pale skin spotted. New scars he hadn't seen before.

 

He gently brushed against the bruise and frowned. "What did I tell you about fighting back, Kaede-kun? Should I repeat myself for you again that it's not necessary?" He looked back into his eyes and sighed. "I just don't want you to get hurt, love..."

[smolcat]

Kaede hardly hesitated at all to reach over and acquire the bottle from within the drawer as Akihiko had explained. His cheeks reddened slightly as his lover delicately stroked his body with those strong hands of his. Particularly, lining a more recent injury he'd acquired a couple of days before. "I..." he said softly, looking away from Akihiko and bowing his head slightly. He found it hard to catch his lover's gaze.

 

"I'd get even more hurt if I didn't," he said quietly. "Sometimes there's no helping it and..." His voice was quiet as he mumbled a bit about the situation. It was difficult. On some occasions, defending himself was the best way to prolong his health. On other days, getting riled up only begged for more beatings and worsened the situation. And it was hard to tell which day would be better than the other. "But I'm fine," he said, pecking Akihiko's cheek. "Promise. It's no biggie."

[iaintinnocent]

Though it's still not so convincing, Akihiko decided to just let it off. With a sigh, he then nodded. "Fine... I get it," he said. "But... just try not to get too involved, okay? Or... just call me if you can't handle it yourself."

 

See? It's like dealing with your troublesome younger brother. Sometimes Akihiko didn't get what Kaede's thought was about it, why a guy with such a slender body which was clearly not suited for violence liked to do things like that. Perhaps, he was a bully? Or was he the one bullied? To be honest, Akihiko had no idea.

 

"But for now let's forget about that for a while and let's do this properly, yeah?"