K Posted April 28, 2011 Share Posted April 28, 2011 ENTHRALL ME Deep turquoise eyes Shines so bright Seduced me so high Enthrall me, I not lie Rosy little lips So sexy, It gives me heat Enthrall me, I not miss Chest not so bulky I like it!, It doesn't tease me Enthrall me, I not flee Oh!, large hands I fear, So please be gentle Enthrall me, I not idle Those legs, between, a private I tremble, Heaven over pain Enthrall me, I not complain In comfy sheet Lie me, This mine, you seek Enthrall me, I'm ready cloudy's notes: . .this was the first time i wrote a nasty (for me) bl poem, lol :Red_fox3: . .it still doesn't sink in to me . .while i was writing this i'm grinning, lol . .and i can't even write this permanently in my notebook, still in scratch . .they might accidentally read it ( i think i should hide my notebook now, lol) :cuteonion46: (sorry if the image was too big, and yeah!, i wrote like that, hihi) 10 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
K Posted April 29, 2011 Author Share Posted April 29, 2011 . .i'll really appreciate critiques from this, ARIGATO! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yojichan Posted April 29, 2011 Share Posted April 29, 2011 ENTHRALL ME Deep turquoise eyes Shines so bright Seduced me so high Enthrall me, I not lie These are my favorite lines of the poem. You have a knack at being lyrical. Keep it up! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amander123 Posted April 29, 2011 Share Posted April 29, 2011 I agree with yojichan. That is my favorite part as well! I love it cloudy-chan! Keep writing! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Macys Posted April 29, 2011 Share Posted April 29, 2011 Very very cool!!! I like it a looot! Keep it up 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yaoifangirl Posted May 7, 2011 Share Posted May 7, 2011 Your poem was so hot! :cuteonion41: Hope you'll write more BL poems! rabbit14 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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