18+ Chasing Your Shadow

[Ethrealia]

"You...!" I tried to push him away, hands gripping onto his shoulders tightly. He was really pissing me off right now. Creepy stalker. Crazy guy.

 

His lips pushed against mine. The sensation was soft and pleasant, a kiss like this would usually make me melt, make me give in. Because i'm just that weak to pleasure. But then....it's this crazy stalker we're talking about. Just the thought of having him kissing me is enough to set me off.

 

I...definitely had no interest in him.

 

"Get off me, you fucker." I snapped, face glowering. My hands went to push him away with even more strength, but then i saw his eyes, even darker-looking than before....Honestly, if i'm not feeling scared right now...i'd shout for help. But the look in his eyes prevented me from doing so. It was harboring a sort of murderous intent, like if i tried to do something like shouting for help, he'd shut me off in an instant.

 

He didn't seem to care even after i had cursed him with whatever nasty words i knew. He kept coming onto me, hands running down the sides of my body, touching inappropriately. "You fucking pervert...!" I gasped when he suddenly grabbed onto my crotch. My eyes squeezed shut as i exhaled the breath i had been holding back loudly.

 

"Oh...Don't tell me you're actually liking this?" His voice was quiet, deep and held some sort of mocking tone in it.

 

I opened my eyes slowly and the look i gave him could only be deciphered as a look of hatred. "Like i hell i would..." Despite the words that came out of my mouth, i was breathing heavily, actually affected...but i'd die than admitting it to him.

 

"If you like it so much, then be mine. I'll give you a good time, i can promise you that." His eyes were kind of lifeless as they stared into mine. This guy....what did he take me as? I was seriously offended that one of my hand unconsciously lifted to hit him, but before i could do so he had already blocked it with his own hand. Even with the strength that i used trying to direct my fist to him, he easily held me back. I couldn't deny that he was stronger than me and this made me feel absolutely powerless. I hated this feeling.

 

"Kazuki Shun." He whispered, face close to mine. With his other free hand, he tilted my chin up and made me look at him. I glared fiercely into his eyes while his own remained nonchalant. "When are you going to accept me?"

 

"What are you saying?" I almost wanted to laugh. If anything, the look on my face was incredulous as i mocked him. "You think i would come to like you? Never in my whole lifetime!" I spat to his face.

 

He frowned, and right then i could see the brief flash of hurt that crossed past his indifferent face. Angered, the grip that he used to hold onto my jaw tightened. I winced, trying to shake my head free but he persisted. "You're really stubborn...Even after how i keep pursuing you..."

 

Is he joking with me? Is that supposed to be his way of trying to impress me? By stalking me even after i told him to stop countless of times?

 

"For the last time...you can stop. I'm saying this because i can never come to like you, Hideaki Satoru." I said, still glaring at him.

 

"...Fine, be that way. Because i'm telling you that no matter what you said, i won't stop." As soon as those words left his lips, he closed the distance between our face and crashed his lips against mine. The impact was so strong that it made my head knocked against the wall behind me, our teeth clacking briefly in the kiss that happened. His tongue slipped into my mouth and his hands went into my vest, untucking my shirt and slipping his hand to caress the skin that had heated up inside.

 

It's disgusting. It's irritating. I really don't know what to do with this guy. So persistent, so very, very- I could feel myself exploding from inside because how mad i am at the moment. If only he's not restraining me right now, i would've really hit him already.

 

I kept turning my head to the side to avoid his lips, almost on the verge of tears. I was really mad. My first kiss was stolen, and despite how upset i was because of him, i tried to not let him see that but instead showed him that i was angry. My first kiss is supposed to be with someone else. All those years i've been waiting, and then suddenly this crazy guy just came up to me and stole it.

 

I was consumed with some sort of maddening rage when his hand travelled down to reach my belt. With strength that suddenly surged within me, i pulled my hand free from his grip and use it to punch him.

 

He fell to the ground from the impact, face twisted in pain. "Tsk..." Blood trailed from his lips down to his chin. I breathed heavily, eyes glassy and glaring down at him like he was the worst scum on earth. My hands went to hurriedly fixed my clothes before i walked away from Hideaki, leaving him to nurse the pain by himself. As if i care after what he had done.

 

As i walked away with terribly shaky legs and body, i tried to not fall down along the way.

 

---

 

"Shun, you're back." Father's slurry voice was the one that greeted me once i made my entrance into the house, the sound of the door clicking open and shut had been the one to made him aware.

 

This wasn't a rare sight and i was too used to it to even bother. The whole house was dark, curtains were drawn with no lights able to seep in. It was a depressing house to return to. Sometimes, i wished school time could prolong longer so that i'd have lesser time to spend at home. Compared to this depressing home, school is a much better place even though i don't have any friends. It was better...much better than having to face this good-for-nothing old man.

 

I walked further into the hallway. Luckily i had walked past this hallway too many times to be able to make it through without stumbling even in the dark. When my hand finally chanced upon the switch at the side, i flicked it open. In an instant, the whole house was filled with sombre lights. The lights weren't even functioning properly, once in a while it kept flickering on and off. It had been a while since it started to become this way. I reminded myself to make some time to change it later when i had time.

 

"Shun, come here." He continued again. The voice was from the living room and from my position near it, i could see his figure, slumped over the coffee table as can of drinks laid open on the table, some scattering on the floor around him.

 

Stupid drunkard...He does nothing but drinking away the whole day...Day by day. I'm getting really tired of this routine. I almost thought of pretending to not hear him but when he called out to me again, i stopped in my tracks. At that moment, a mask of indifference took over my features as i turned back on my heels slowly, and like a puppet that had been strung to its master, i padded in his direction wordlessly.

 

He lifted his head, a crookedly dreamy smile on his face as he saw me standing in front of him.

 

"Shun..." He stretched his hand out towards me. I knew what this meant, and following like an obedient puppet, i laid my own hand in his. He gripped it and pulled me to sit beside him. I let him lead me as he then wrapped an arm around my shoulder, bringing me close to his side. "Shun, how was school?" As i listened to this, somehow something choked me up from inside. The kind of feeling that you'd get when you heard something so unexpected that it stabbed you painfully inside. My mouth opened a little as i could only let out a shallow breath.

 

"You came home rather late. Has it been busy for you these days?"

 

Why?

 

Why are you asking me something like this? You're usually not like this on normal days. On any other days, you would usually hit me, abuse me, or strangely touching me in a way as if i'm not your son. This is too weird for me to handle that a sickening feeling churned in my stomach, making me almost want to vomit.

 

But at the same time, when i heard these kind of question, i felt a very strong sadness that i couldn't explain welling up inside me. It was the sadness of knowing that it had been so long since i had this conversation with father. I couldn't even remember when was the last time-

 

"Shun...why are you not answering? Are you feeling alright?"

 

Tears suddenly welled up in my eyes as my shoulders shook. I began to curl into myself as i leaned against father's warm sides unconsciously, seeking my pillar of support that had long lost. It probably won't last long. A fleeting day, then tomorrow it will all be gone...With this in my mind, i buried my face into my arms and cried like i never did. His comforting hand went to pet me on the shoulder and i choked out another sob.

 

---

 

"You can call me nii-chan, Shun. Seiji-niichan, how does that sound?"

 

"S-Seiji-...Seiji nii-chan."

 

"There. Doesn't we sound closer now? Come here, Shun." He held out his hands to me. I looked up tearily. Even if he was crouching down, he was still a good few centimetres higher than me. Hesitating only for a second, i then took a few steps forward towards him. When i was finally within his reach, he used his hands which were previously outstretched to pull me into his arms. The air was knocked out of my lungs because of the sudden impact against his chest...but...but it was so very warm, and i didn't mind a single bit that now he had me wrapped in his warm, tight embrace.

 

I didn't realize yet back then. But he was probably my first love.

[yaoi4fans]

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I loved the story! Poor boy T_T I wanted to punch that man and I was so happy when he got it :hamtaro-005 (6):