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The Colors of Beauty


CupckaesDontHaveArms
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The Colors of Beauty

 

Ch1 – Tamed

 

We often assume that someone we think is cruel and angry's true colors are the ones which life used to paint their portrait in the back of their mind, the one that stares down on them with disgust as they don't even dust it off while they put stain after stain on the glass in front of it. That's not quite true. Some of us can't bare seeing what we could've been, so we dye the frame and glass black, in order to not have to look at what we've been depraved of. Soon after, or not so much, we realize the paint is too dry and we can't scrape it off. Of course, it'd hurt too much to break that glass, and it would stain the real picture with our own desperate blood, so we keep it up, until we forget what was under the filth.

My name is Zack, no last name. My hair is black, and my eyes are green. My mother died while giving birth to me, and my father disappeared after that. I've been in all kinds of families and homes. I wasn't too fortunate, as most families were... Well... Let's say I wasn't exactly in a happy household. I'd switch family after family, each worse than the last. There were some good ones, but I could never really fully enjoy a nice stay to its fullest. More than abuse I hated only the grief. Some would take me in just to replace their dead kid. They'd prepare the passed child's favorite meals for me, tell me when their favorite shows were on and more, and I'd hear them cry themselves to sleep every night. I'd do whatever I could to cheer them up, but I'd always make it clear that I wasn't the one they lost. Even so, it'd still feel like their son had died all over again when I'd switch families. There had been nice times too, but they fade before the pain I've seen. I'd barely laugh after time, and then I'd find myself wondering when was the last time I had cracked a smile.

When I was 17, I was moved to a rich family. They had a son who was my age, and I was going to go to school with him. They wanted to get him a brother, because they thought that'd fix his behavior. Here's where this story begins.

When I got the news, everyone I knew in the orphanage was happy for me. They were also sad I was leaving, but mostly relieved at least I'd get what everyone there dreamed of. I was going to go, when suddenly, I head a cry and a pair of arms were warped around my chest from behind.

- Pleeeeease, don't go! - sobbed Nori, whom I had been friends with since I had arrived in the orphanage.

Nori was two years younger than me, and I had always protected him. Even though my body was quite skinny, my agility remained unmatched. He was very tall for his age but he never fought anyone. Most children in the orphanage'd just look for someone to bully, and since he would rarely fight back, I'd defend him when they'd lash out at him.I didn't fight back myself, but I could never sit back while someone else was harassed. It was just the two of us against everyone up until that moment, when I was going to be in a family for the last time.

- Don't cry – I told him, holding his hands in front of my chest as I listened to his heartbeat on my back – I just know we'll see each other again.

I turned around and wiped the tears off his cheek. As I was removing my hand from his face, he grabbed it, looked in my eyes and cried

- Promise? Do you promise that we will somehow find each other and that we'll be together no matter what? Because if I see you again after this day, I'll never let you go again! - I put my finger on his lips, smiled and pat his head. - Why are you smiling now? You rarely do, and now when we're gonna be separated, you smile?

- Because, you see, this is my parting gift. I want you to remember it. I promise that my arms will reach out to embrace you once again, but until then, I want you to borrow this smile whenever you're feeling lonely, because I'll always be thinking of you while it slowly forms on my lips.

As I got in the car, I turned around one last time. Nori was trying to smile as he was sniffing while his mouth was trembling. In the car itself were a man and a woman. They looked very noble. The man was serious and quiet, but the woman seemed cheerful enough.

- So... Zack. My name is Hikari, and my husband is Frederick. I hope you're gonna adore Ren.

- He's impossible, so we don't expect you to do it right away. He is going through some rebellious phase, so we were hoping someone his age could put him back on track. We won't scold you if you beat him a little, just make sure he doesn't do anything stupid.

Frederick seemed to be the "harsh but just" type at first, but when I got to know him a little better, I noticed even he didn't know what he was doing. The trip was quite long and I got to tell Hikari about my life. I liked it that she wasn't like the others – she didn't say "oh you poor boy" and didn't pretend to understand me. She just smiled and said "I don't pity you. I pity people who can't be helped. If you had been strong enough to go through it, I can't help but give you my admiration." She was finally someone I could one day even call "mom". Frederick wouldn't say much as me and Hikari talked, and would only once in a while throw in a story about his fake knee and how it was so hard to get one years ago.

When we arrived, the house seemed pretty big. I had never been inside one of such beauty, so I examined every detail as well as I could. There was a huge yard with animals in it. Everything seemed perfect. "What sort of spoiled hellish devil spawn will this boy turn out to be?" I thought to myself as we approached the room that was to be mine. We were gonna sleep in the same room. His... Our parents decided that'd be perfect for us to get to know each other as well as we could. It was really gigantic. The right side of the room was going to be mine, and the left side was going to be his. They told me to decorate it as I wanted. Trey had already made his side as he liked, pretty sloppily. He wasn't there at the moment, but he was going to be back pretty soon. Our beds were the same, like our dressers and pretty much everything the room was filled with, which was, other than those two : desks with multiple monitors computers, two cupboards, two big crests and spots for gaming platforms with huge monitors. There was also some free space for something else I'd want to put there, so i decided I'd make it a spot for me to paint. I was dying to paint what I had seen around there. I have photographic memory, so I could do it without having to look at the house. There are many bathrooms and I wanted to shower as soon as I was done with placing my stuff in the room.

When I finally finished what i was doing, I marched towards one of the bathrooms. As I walked out of the door after I was done, I stumbled upon a grumpy, yet beautiful young face. His hair is brown, and so are his eyes. His figure is quite skinny, but not as much as mine. He is also just a little shorter, but considering how tall I am, he isn't short at all in comparison to other people, but even through his annoyance, he is somehow cute.

- You used my bathroom, didn't you ask someone which one to lay your filth on? - he yelled, and then sighed angrily.

- Just use another. After you're done, we have to talk.

- Hell yes we have to talk, and don't think you're my brother just because some piece of paper says you now are. I don't have to tolerate you. - he replied, entering the bathroom and slamming the door shut. - Don't use it again.

"This is going to be a tricky one" I thought as I waked back towards the room. On the way, I met Hikari.

- Oh hi there, Zack. Have you met him yet?

- Yeah, I did. He seems quite energetic.

- Good. Hey, do you want to go shopping with me? We will buy you a lot of new clothes so you can throw away those old ones.

Her energy was so pleasant, almost angelic. I was starting to feel what it's like to have your own mother. It was just like in the books. I didn't think mothers were actually like that, but I was happy I was going to see what it's like to have such parent. After I got ready, we went to some expensive boutique and I bought pretty much anything I liked, for every occasion. It was fun, and I could feel her even closer.

- You don't seem to be too excited. If there's something you want to do, please don't be shy to say.

- No, it's okay. I am glad we're doing this. I'm just not that good at expressing emotions, that's all.

- We have a lot of other things to do too. We gotta sign you up to Ren's school.

- A private school?

- Yes. A private school. We noticed you've had pretty good grades so far. I'm sure you'll fit in quite well. The uniform I ordered should suit you just fine.

I was going to step into a whole new world. I didn't know what to expect. When we got there, it was even more beautiful than the house I was going to live in. As I passed through the corridors, I noticed they had rooms for everything, and there were quite a lot of clubs. I had always wanted to be in an Art club. I was suddenly looking forward to joining in that clean and delightful, bright atmosphere. The principal's office looked so neat and big that it almost felt like a job interview for a huge company. He explained everything. There was a lot to explain, and it was so much different that what I had been used to that for a second I questioned if I could manage. After a while, a girl walked in.

- This is your class' representative, Mai.

- Hello. I am going to be your guide until you get used to this place - said the girl, as she happily grabbed my hand and shook it. I hadn't stretched it out, but she seemed to find that kind of rushed attitude quite normal. That girl seemed to love working with people and meeting new ones, so I didn't pull my hand back. Shining with joy, she led me through the rooms and signed me up for the Art club. - So you love art too, eh? I've been drawing for a couple of years now. I'm not all that good, but everyone is nice and helps me a lot.

She talked, and I listened. We went through pretty much everything, when she did something I didn't expect her to do.

- Eh... You're very close to Ren now, right?

- If you mean by space we occupy and time we are occupying it for, then yes.

- Well, when you get to know him, you'll love him. Can you please pass something to him? - she handed me an envelope, and I took it calmly. Considering she could've sent him a message by phone or computer, I assumed it's a love letter.

- Very well. I truly hope it is as you say.

After I was introduced to all the things I needed, we went back to the house. I found Ren and gave him the envelope. He looked at it and snached it from my hand, then threw it on his bed.

- Don't you dare touch it. We're having dinner soon, I'll take you to the dining room when it's time.

- We still have to talk.

- Don't worry,we will.

- What's wrong with now?

- Fine. Don't touch me or my things. End of conversation. - as he launched for the door, I rushed and stood in front of him

- What does this girl mean to you?

- None of your business – he shrieked, as he pushed me aside violently.

After a while, it was time for dinner. Everyone was sitting at the table, waiting for the dinner to be served. Although she could've hired a cook, Hikari preferred making the dinner herself. When it arrived, it looked like something out of a cook book, and tasted just as good as it looked. I had actually never tasted anything better. I complimented her, and she was very surprised. Ren remained silent, until his father asked him a question.

- Tell him something about your life. Even me and your mother dont know much about it. For example, do you have a girlfriend? - Ren seemed really annoyed when he heard that, but he replied with one word.

- No.

- What happened to that fine girl you were dating? Yuri was it? You never say anything.

- Don't you have any other business? Nothing happened, I dumped her long ago, I never liked her that much.

- You're not going to tell him anything at all?

- Why should I? I never asked for anyone.

He remained silent for the rest of the evening, and went to our room. I started wondering who that girl was. Did she break his heart? He told his parents about her, and right now he doesn't look like the type to tell mommy and daddy about his relationships. I went to help his mother with the dishes, hoping I can ask her a little more about him, since I never asked in the car. I wanted to see what he's like before processing information about him. I approached Hikari, and started helping her.

- So... He had a girlfriend?

- He did. I only know about one. He might've had more.

- Did he tell you about it or did you find out?

- We found out. It was about one year ago. They seemed really happy together, but she died.

- She died? How?

- Suicide. He never told us anything further. She didn't have any problems as far as I know.

- Did Ren become like that after her death?

- No. He's not always like that. He seems to be enjoying himself with his friends. That's why I had the idea to get him a brother about his age. Besides, I think I made the right choice by picking you.

"Did she kill herself because he dumped her? She probably did. Is he just heartless? That can't be it" I thought, finishing up the dishes. I went to our room and saw him standing there.

- You do know you belong to me now, right? - he said, taking his pants off

- What are you doing? - I asked, watching as he threw his underwear aside.

- You know what to do, or do I have to explain? - I watched as his penis grew big and hard. He looked at me with impatience, and I let out a chuckle - What's so funny?

- Did you think about my naked body just now to make this happen? - I approached him with confidence and kept a slight smile on my face. He was standing there confused as I was getting closer. When I reached him, he tried shoving my head down, but I resisted - No, not like that.

I touched his face and stroked it gently, then pushed him onto the bed, kissing his neck, then removed his shirt. I caressed the sides of his body as he trembled as I did so. I moved down, placing my hand on his scrotum. I removed my pants with the other hand and then tossed my shirt aside. I placed my hand back down there, as I felt my parts growing too. He didn't protest as I firmly grabbed his body and shoved it to the middle of the bed. My hair was falling on his face as I leaned to kiss him. Our lips met so gently as I slowly opened them. He followed my every movement like a maiden. I drove my teeth down his chest, then his belly, until I reached the desired area. I licked the tip slowly, then moved my fingers along his masculinity very gently. He trembled once again, and I put his parts in my mouth. I moved my tongue as fast as I could, and twisted it quickly. I moved up and down, picking up the phase. He was trying so hard not to moan, but we were far from his parents' bedroom so they wouldn't hear us. Even so, he couldn't resist the urge to let out a yell, and so he did. "Aaaah, it feels so nice, don't ever stop" he gasped, as I had reached my quickest phase. His hands were shoved in my hair and his breathing was getting heavier and heavier. After a while, he let out a few quick loud moans, followed by a long and loud one. I stood up and saw him lying on his side, catching his breath. I kissed his red face, and said "Don't think we're done yet. I'm still not" while moving his body so he would lie on his belly. I embraced him from behind, lifting him up a little. I then sticked one finger in his hole, from which he gripped his pillow. I inserted two, three fingers and rotated them. A little squeak of pleasure echoed in my ears as I put my penis in his hole. I moved slowly as his breaths were getting shorter and quicker. I tried doing it gently, as my hand was on his. Trey's fingers between mine felt somehow right. I came shortly after, falling next to him. I could feel his chest moving quickly.

- Come on, I didn't exhaust you that much.

- Yuri did kill herself because of me.

- What?

- I heard you and mother talking. I didn't want anyone to know about me. She fell in love with me, so I just pretended I had fallen for her as well. Mai is not in love with me. We're best friends. She sent me two tickets to the festival next week. She told me she will send them to me as soon as she got them and that I could bring anyone with me. I used to like a boy from my class, but he hates gay people. He was my best friend. He is in love with Mai. Many boys are. I pretended I was too. Every time we talked about it, I'd tell him everything I loved about him and how much I did love him, saying "her" and "she" instead of "you". She made me confess my feelings for him one day, and he told me to stay away from him. As my last hope was crushed, I made sure to overdo it so he'd think it's a very well played joke, and he bought it. We laughed about it and soon after, I started dating Yuri. I played along for a while, but then I couldn't anymore. I had done something horrible, but I thought it'll be okay and she'd only be sad for a while. When she killed herself, I was stunned. I never wanted that. I never meant to do that. I only did it so I could prove a lie, so I could be close to someone I could never be with the way I wanted. I loved him less and less after. I started seeing things in him I had never seen before, bad things. From then on, it was just dreamless loneliness. Say Zack... Do you pity me?

- No... I pity the ones who can not be helped, and I will do anything in my power to help you – I said, as I moved closer to him and embraced him tightly.

One thought crossed my mind as I was falling asleep – I had tamed the beast.

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