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Your NOT my soulmate!!! { Shisu-Chan00 & Sosuke0549 }


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Damian felt his breath catch in his throat as Akira removed his fingers. This was the moment, the moment they had been waiting for all this time. He felt Akira whisper into his ear and he let the air out in a shakey sigh, “Alright…”. He leaned up into Akira, about to wrap his arms around his neck when he heard a rather strange and unfamiliar ringtone. His eyes instantly snapped up to Akira who had become stiff and tense in his arms. Damian’s mood instantly shifted and he no longer felt horny. He sat up slightly as Akira moved off him, righting his clothes and leaving. Damian was left on the bed half hard and completely shocked that Akira had taken a call during something so important to them.

 

When the door was closed, and Damian was finished being shellshocked he too got up and quickly put on his pants. He couldn’t hear what was being said but he knew that Akira was speaking in a hushed and hurried tone. As if what he and the person on the other side of the phone were talking about was only meant for the two of them. Suspicion welled up inside of Damian and he felt his cheeks get hot in slight frustration and anger. Who could be so important that Akira would blow him off for them? Specially during their first time?

 

The fact of the matter was, Damian was no longer in the mood. He was pulling on his shirt when Akira came back into the room. Damian didn’t turn to look at him as he heard the stuttered apology and the excuse that whoever it was, was important. Damian fixed a smile onto his face and nodded as he turned to face Akira. “That’s alright…what was so important that you had to run out like that?” He asked, leaning against his desk, his hands sliding into the pockets of his shorts. Everything about his body language screamed that he was annoyed, frustrated, and possibly even angry with Akira. I mean could Akira blame him. He was supposed to be enjoying their first time together and now all the sudden whoever it was, was so important he had to run out? Not to mention that throughout all the times they have hung out with one another Damian had never heard that ringtone before today. He wanted to ask him ‘who is more important than me that during such a special moment you had to take a call from them?’ or even worse he wanted to question if Akira was cheating on him.

 

It wasn’t unheard of for bonded soulmates to have affairs. Most of the time they were content with just their soulmate but other times they sought the embrace of another partner, not satisfied with what their soulmate could offer them. Damian couldn’t think along these lines, tears threatened to escape him if he thought too long on it. He wouldn’t entertain the idea unless Akira showed sure signs of it. He loved him right?

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The moment Akria stepped into the room he could feel how upset Damian was. It was like the atmosphere in the room completely changed,taking a 180. His lover was already dressed, which...shouldn't surprise him but...he somehow thought that Damian would still be in bed waiting for him. He knew Damian was upset, not because of there bond per se but he could tell by his body language. He wasn't really looking at him, and when he did, he had a fake smile on his face.

“That’s alright…what was so important that you had to run out like that?”[/Quote]

Akria glanced at the ground, quickly trying to think of an excuse. He couldn't say it was nothing...and he couldn't say that it was his mother, Damian was around him a lot and long enough to know that everyone he cared about had different ring tones on his phone. He didn't want to lie to the other But....He still doesn't know...and I don't...want him to know...I just...want him to see me...and only me... Akria had lost count of how many times people had judged him because of his past and who his father was. He hated it- and today he didn't want to be judged by the one person he felt closest too. "It was...an old friend of mine. He never really calls me so..I....um...I'm sorry Damian. I know an apology isn't enough...we were about too..and I just..." He sighed, really wanting to finish his sentence. I'm not really in the mood to have sex anymore but I don't wanna leave his side. He slowly approached his lover wanting to take his hand but...Damian wasn't offering it. So he simply leaned forward and laid a tender kiss on his forehead. "I should go...I forgot that I had some stuff to do...I'll see you tomorrow. " He turned away, grabbing his things and showing himself out. "Love you.." He said softly, before leaving and shutting the door behind him.

 

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"Hey.."

"Hey? Your here?...Why?"

Akria sighed softly, wanting someone to talk too. Ever since Jay and him were kids, Akria tried many times to get close to him but...no matter what he did or said, his step brother had a wall built around him too high to climb. And yet...here he was. Standing outside Jay's dorm room yarneing for...friendship...advice...love. But his brother didn't even let him come into the room, keeping the conversation in the hall way. Still shutting him out.

"Sorry...I just...I didn't wanna bother mom and I..wanted someone to talk to. "

"Talk about what."

"Oh...um--"

"Why don't you talk to Damian he's your soul mate..."

Yeah...and your my brother... Akria sighed, giving up. There was no point in trying to connect with him anymore. "Actually...its not important...sorry to bother you...Mom called again and I covered for you...she really wants to hear from you. "

"Yeah well- I'm fine. She doesn't need to call us everyday. "

"She's just worried...and lonely now that we're not there. She just...misses you."

Jay shrugged, "Yeah ok...I'll call her this weekend...Anything else..."

"Jjaaayyy~ Come on! The movie is starting!"

 

They two looked at each other, the atmosphere quickly becoming awkward. So...Jay was with a girl. That wasn't surprising...he was always with a girl. No wonder he was being so short with him. "Wow...uh..that was quick. We've only been in college for four days. "

"Yeah well- we can't all be gay. " He shut the door in his face, ending there chat. Akria stared at the door a little surprised by the others insult...what the heck was that supposed to mean? He bit his lip, and left. It was clear that Jay didn't want anything to do with him.

 

{ Next day }

 

Jay was on his way to class, laughing and chatting with a rather attractive blond. They had made out the night before, and judging by her body language, she clearly liked him. He bet he'd be able to get in her pants by Monday if he really tried. "Your class is over there right? And my class is this way- so this is where we part. "

"Your not gonna walk me to my class?"

"Not yet...Gotta leave you wanting more~" He winked at her, turning to leave. The female smirked, liking his humor. "Fine. " He gave her a quick wave before heading across the cort yard, he only had a few more minutes to get to class. Today he was wearing a plain white tee-shirt with a grey hoodie and dark blue jeans, he made sure to cover up his mark with his sweat band- not wanting anyone to know ahout Elijah. He was hoping that if he contuied to ignore him, perhaps he'd go away. He still didn't wanna face the fact that his soul mate was a guy and he didnt really want to be gay. He tossed his hood up hoping to hide himself, praying that he wouldn't bump into the one person he was deliberately trying to avoid.

 

Akria stood outside Damian's dorm room, wanting to surprise him. He knew they both had morning classes today so not only was he planning on walking him to class but he also got him a cup of coffee, just the way he liked it. Today he was wearing a dark blue long -sleeved V-neck and black jeans, his back pack hanging on one of his shoulders, He leaned against the wall, patiently waiting until finally, Damian emerged from his dorm room. "Good morning...I went down to the cafe and got you some coffee..." Is he still mad at me?

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  • 2 weeks later...

Damian didn’t care if he was over reacting. He didn’t care that Akira was probably going to apologize. He didn’t care, his mind was racing, and he didn’t think that Akira was going to give him the answer he was looking for. Damian was hoping for some type of good excuse. Something that would ease his mind and turn all of this into just a bad joke. Sadly, the excuse he got wasn’t want he was wanting. A frown formed on his face. Akira closed the distance between them, and Damian took a deep sigh in. “Alright…I’ll see you tomorrow.” He watched as Akira slowly got his things together, and then left. Damian didn’t miss the “love you” from his partner but he didn’t give one in return. Akira was gone from his room before he could even give him a reply.

 

Once the door had finally closed, he sighed deeply and let his body relax. Tears brimmed in his eyes and slowly spilled over. What was Akira hiding from him that was forcing him to lie to his face? Damian knew everything about Akira. Or so he thought. He knew when his moods shifted, when he was being honest with him, and especially when he was lying to him. Before now it didn’t happen very often, but this seemed to be a secret that Akira was willing to hide pretty well.

 

Damian walked to his bed and collapsed into it, pulling the pillow Akira had been laying on close to himself and slowly dozed into a nap. He figured the issue about Akira would still be there in the morning, therefore he didn’t have to think too hard on it right now.

 

(The next day)

 

Damian woke up to the sound of his third alarm going off. He quickly jumped out of bed and got ready for his day. He picked a maroon top and black skinny jeans. They accented his legs pretty well and had he not found Akira already he would flaunt himself about but, Akira was his soul mate. He frowned and sighed, looking at himself in the mirror. He shouldn’t be mad but there was still apart of him that was hurt.

 

He shook his head and quickly grabbed his bag. He left his room and locked it, hearing a familiar voice behind him. He couldn’t help a smile forming on his face as he turned to Akira. He looked just as good as usual. Damian closed the distance between them and lightly kissed Akira on the cheek, “Just how I like it?” He asked, raising an eyebrow accompanied with a curious look.

 

He knew it was just how he liked it and he took a long drink from it. He smiled brighter as its warmth spread throughout his body and the tangy taste of espresso hit his taste buds. He giggled softly and nuzzled up to Akira. “Thank you…I’m sorry about yesterday. When you’re ready to tell me about it I’ll be here to listen. Just don’t lie to me again okay?” he looked up at Akira with a serious look. “I don’t mind you keeping some parts of your past hidden from me. We haven’t been together that long…but it hurt me more than anything for you to lie to me.” He paused a moment and sighed. “Walk me to class?” He asked holding out a hand to Akira.

 

Elijah was also just starting his day. He wore a nice fitting pair of blue jeans, a white button-down shirt, and a royal blue vest over that. He looked like the typical English nerd, but it worked for him. His hair was styled to swoop a little to the right in a cute look. Today he was going to be teaching his first class. He was a teaching assistant this semester and his first class was going to be comp 1, a freshman level course that all freshmens had to take.

 

He grabbed his books and the syllabus that he was going to give to the class and headed in that direction. He got there about 10 minutes early and set his things up at the desk. He looked out at the few students who were already there, their laptops on their desks and ready to take notes. Some were on their phones, passing the last few minutes of freedom by with some social media.

 

He waited patiently as the last stragglers started trickling in. He felt his arm tingle, then start to sting. He winced lightly rolling up his sleeves of his vest to reveal a growing mark. Some of the female students glanced at their own, hoping and praying that his was growing because of them. His eyes scanned the room till it found a familiar figure, hidden under a hoodie. A smirk instantly rose to his lips and he walked to the door of the classroom. He shut it and cleared his throat, “Hello class!” He walked back to his desk and leaned against it. “My name is Mr. Genone. I’m hoping that we can get through this semester smoothly. Let’s just say, if you do the work you’ll pass. If you don’t…well you know.” He heard a rather annoying girl giggle at his joke and his eyes darted to her for a moment.

 

She was atrocious. Elijah didn’t really like women, he fucked around with them here and there but it was never anything serious. His eyes quickly found their way back to Jay, who had by now definitely noticed he was there. “Today is going to be an easy day. Let’s go over the syllabus.” He handed out the syllabus to each student in the front row, asking them to pass them back. As they did he started to pace about the class. “First things first, attendance is mandatory. That means, even though you’re in college and think you can skip all your classes you can not skip this class. If you miss more than three classes I will drop your grade by an entire letter grade.” He smiled brightly as he made his way down the second row.

 

“I know what a dick right? But it is for your own good. You are paying for this class and therefore, you should be actually going. It will also be easier to learn the necessary skills from this class if you are actually present.” He now started up the third row. Nearing Jay and feeling the oh so sweet feeling of his mark. It could be seen shifting on his arm, wiggling yet not growing.

 

“There will be four exams over the material we will be covering. They will all be open response and you will have the class period to complete them. As for the final, it will be a mixture of multiple-choice questions and open response. I will drop your lowest test score, so make them count.” He felt his breathing catch in his throat as he neared Jay. Feeling the urge to reach out and touch him. He had to restrain himself.

 

As he passed by Jay, he let his eyes roam down to the kid, he was cute thinking he could hide from him. “Now let’s talk about the books we will be reading this semester! You will all need to buy these textbooks before next Monday.”

 

He drowned on and on until the class time was over. Once everyone was leaving Elijah made his way to Jay and leaned over the kids’ desk. “Did you think you could really hide from me Jay?” He asked his low as he watched the last few students leave.

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Akria felt a wave of relief wash over him when he saw Damian smile at him. It was honestly the best feeling in the world, did this mean he wasn't mad anymore? He handed the coffee to him, and smiled softly feeling his lover kiss his cheek.

“Thank you…I’m sorry about yesterday. When you’re ready to tell me about it I’ll be here to listen. Just don’t lie to me again okay?”[/Quote]

Akria froze, so much for avoiding what happened yesterday. He turned away, sighing softly. He knows I lied to him.

" D-Damian...I..."

“I don’t mind you keeping some parts of your past hidden from me. We haven’t been together that long…but it hurt me more than anything for you to lie to me.” [/Quote]

It was hard to look at Damain, especially when he looked so...disappointed in him. His words hurt him...yes he lied...but...he had too. He fell silent.

“Walk me to class?”[/Quote]

Akria glanced up at him before nodding once and taking Damains hand in his. He never wanted to let him go, which is why...he needed to keep his past a secret. He realized that he needed to quickly get better at lying or...he might lose everything.

 

He walked Damian to class, but Akria didn't really talk much. He honestly didn't know what to say. Before Damian went to his class, Akria stopped him, meeting his gaze. " Hey...um..thank you...for forgiving me...I'll see you at lunch. Love you. " He squeezed his hand, before letting him go and rushing off to his own class.

 

As Akira made his way across the cort yard his eyes glanced at the entrance of the university, landing on two fimilar faces. You've got to be shiting me! He heaved a heavy sigh, he was defiantly going to be late. Reluctantly, Akira made his way to the front gate, trying to not attract too much attention. Ichijo and Shiki were two people from his past that he desperately wanted to forget. "Hey~ Akria!"

"What the hell are you doing here! I told you not to come!" He was so tempted to shove the other but instead he clenched his hands into fists trying to hold himself back.

"Always so hostile. I did say we'd be keeping tabs on you...So..this is where you study...rather preppy. "

"Clearly I'm fine and I don't want your protection! "

"There's another reason why we came...Its Tetsu...he's dying." Akria glanced at Shiki, his words sending a chills down his spine. Tetsu...was dying? Ichijo cleared his throat muttering.

"Way to go. "

 

Growing up. His father hardly had time for him. So...Tetsu was often the guy to step in and take care of him. He always took care of the younger kids in the gang. Akria could say that Tetsu was more of a father to him than his biological father ever was. He bit his lip, crossing his arms. He was confused. How could this happen? "W-What are you--"

"Lung cancer. Guess all those cigarettes finally caught up to him...He's not doing so hot. Figured you wanna see him. I know he wants to see you. "

"H-How long?" Shiki shrugged, slipping his hands into his pockets. "His doctor said 4 weeks at most...This weekend we're throwing him a party. He'll be stepping down as leader and Sho will be taking his place..."

"Tetsu said he wanted to talk to you before the party though...We know you got class so...I don't know...just stop by the bar sometime this week. Party is on Saturday. 8:00pm. " Akria nodded turning away.

"Ok...."

"Alright...See ya around. And Akira...I know you hate your dad and the Serpants, but that doesn't mean you gotta hate us too..."

Akria opened his mouth to speak but...he didn't know what to say. He didn't hate them...he just...hated seeing his past.

"I gotta go to class...please leave. "

 

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Jay walked into his comp 1 class with just a few minutes to spare. He didn't really bother looking at the teacher or other students since he kind of met them already on the first day of school but the moment he walked in he felt his mark tingle. He glanced down at it in confusion as he made his way toward the back of the class, glancing around. His soul mate was suppose to be a 3rd or 4th year, why would he even be near the freshman building ? Is he just trying to mess with me? He rolled his eyes, taking a seat and pulling out his notes and phone

“Hello class!”[/Quote]

Jay froze. It was hard to describe exactly what happened to him but...the moment he heard Elijah's voice, was the moment his heart seemed to flutter. Almost like he was a man on a deserted island, living alone for years, and then he suddenly heard a voice coming to rescue him. He slowly glanced up from his desk, his eyes landing on his so called teacher. N-no..way...

“My name is Mr. Genone. I’m hoping that we can get through this semester smoothly. Let’s just say, if you do the work you’ll pass. If you don’t…well you know.” [/Quote]

How could this happen? Was Elijah messing with him? Or was this fates doing? How was he going to avoid him when he had to attend this class! Jay quickly turned his eyes away when Elijah looked at him. He could feel it and it made him feel...good? Stop looking at me! Damn it! He struggled to tune him out as Elijah started to pass out the syllabus and go over it. The more he talked...the closer he got, which was making Jay uncomfortable. His mark was reacting to Elijah but, it wasn't seeable to any of the other students since he hide his with a sweat band. He hung his head low, resting it on his desk, and shielding himself with his arm as Elijah walked by him. His heart beat racing as if he ran a marathon.

 

He was gonna have to switch classes! He couldn't do this! Seeing him almost every day could...could really affect him. As class went on Jay was trying to control his emotions and think of a good enough excuse to be switched out of Mr. Genone's class. He refused to knowledge him as his soulmate and wasn't gonna tell his academic advisor that Elijah was his soulmate!

 

When class was finally over, he stayed in his seat, watching as the other students left. He clenched his hands into fists watching as Elijah approched him. His body reacting, and causing him to blush. It didn't help that his soul mate was leaning over him too, making him feel inferior.

“Did you think you could really hide from me Jay?”[/Quote]

"Yeah but...your making it really hard." He hissed. He glared up at the other.

"Explain. How the hell are you my teacher. "

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Damian didn’t mind that Akira wasn’t talking much. He knew that he had blindsided him by letting him know that he knew he was lying. The walk to his first class was relatively silent, give or take Damian trying to make conversation here and there. When he was dropped off he smiled softly and kissed Akira’s cheek. “You’re welcome. I’ll see you later, love you.” He waved as Akira turned to leave. He watched him go and sighed softly as he turned the corner away from him.

 

He hoped that they would be okay, it didn’t seem like whatever it was Akira wanted to keep a secret was ever going to come to light. He just would have to be okay with it…or not? What would happen if this lie got in the middle of their relationship? What was it that Akira was hiding from him? Was he…scared to tell Damian?

 

~~

 

Elijah chuckled lightly as Jay finally spoke to him. “Well its this neat thing called an internship teaching job. I work as an assistant professor for some good money, and I get credits for it too.” He shrugged and crossed his arms over his chest. “I mean you didn’t think you could run around with women the entire time right?” He tilted his head as he heard a young woman knock on the door.

 

“Ah…can I talk to you about the syllabus?” She asked looking kind of hesitant and worried that she was getting in the middle of something.

 

Elijah smiled a dashing smile and turned to her, “Ah, yes. I have office hours at 3:30 so if you want to swing by that would be great. I’m sort of in the middle of something here.” He held up his arm displaying his mark that was wiggling on his arm. “Come back later won’t you?” He winked at her and she blushed before darting away.

 

“Listen, I’ve heard rumors you’re seeing this girl…are you seriously so homophobic you won’t even give me a shot? You know that no one else will make you satisfied.” He turned back to Jay with a sigh. Was he really not planning to give him a shot? He had heard that Jay was fucking around with a young freshman, one that he had been seen walking to class today. He just didn’t think that was how things should have gone. He had claim over Jay, their marks were moving together, shifting and growing as they spent more time together. He wanted to see it completed but it sounded like Jay wasn’t in the same boat. He wondered just how hard this was going to be.

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Jay glared at Elijah as he explained to him that he was a assistant professor. So...not only was he good-looking but smart too. He rolled his eyes, falling back in his chair as he contuied.

“I mean you didn’t think you could run around with women the entire time right?” [/Quote]

His eyes widened slightly. How did he know? And more importantly, why did he suddenly feel so...guilty?

"You--" Before he could even start talking, he was quickly interrupted by a classmate knocking on the door. Jay glanced at her, sighing softly. Perhaps Elijah would let him go. He was a teacher after all and he had to deal with his students first. Right?

“Ah, yes. I have office hours at 3:30 so if you want to swing by that would be great. I’m sort of in the middle of something here.”[/Quote]

Jay turned to him a little surprised that he was prioritizing him over...some girl. He was never going to admit it but...having Elijah ignore that girl for him, made him feel...happy. His eyes widened when Elijah suddenly showed off his mark to her! What was he thinking!!!

 

When she was gone, Jay stood, anger seeping out of him! He grabbed his arm, forcing him to lower it. He didn't really want anyone knowing that Elijah was his soulmate one. And two- that was so freaking embarrassing! Hot...but embarrassing. "What the hell! Now she's gonna get the wrong idea. " He quickly released him, realizing that his body was reacting to Elijah and there contact. He sat down in his chair again feeling rather frustrated. As much as he wanted to leave and storm out of the room...he couldn't. Damn it! Damn it!! He shook his head, covering his face with his hands as he realized that he was...aroused. Why?! He felt embarrassed, disgusted, and humiliated. He couldn't control anything with Elijah around!

“Listen, I’ve heard rumors you’re seeing this girl…are you seriously so homophobic you won’t even give me a shot? You know that no one else will make you satisfied.” [/Quote]

"What so your following me now- stalking me." He glared at Elijah, no longer wanting to be nice. "You don't own me, and this damn mark doesn't mean anything! I don't care if I'm never satisfied again! Anything is better than being with you! " He stood, tying his jacket around him in order to hide his erection and grabbing his bag. "I already told you I'm a wonderer and I have zero interest in being with my soul mate much less a guy...I don't have to give you a chance- Call me homophobic if you want- I don't care! But understand that I don't have to be with you- so get the hint and stay the fuck away from me because right now your ruining me life!"

 

Jay stormed out of the classroom, desperate to find the nearest bathroom. He wasn't sure why...but he had this sudden urge to cry. He wanted to hurt Elijah's feelings...he wanted to push him away but...in doing so him made him feel shity. He had hurt his own feelings in the process. He was almost tempted to turn around and take it all back but Jay stopped himself. He couldn't confront Elijah again with tears in his eyes and a growing erection. He'd look pathetic! When Jay finally found a bathroom he hide himself in a stall and allowed himself to cry. Hoping his erection would go away. He didn't want to wack off in a bathroom since anyone could walk in at any time. It just wasn't a good idea. Why am I crying...I had to! I had to do it! He wouldn't understand! I don't wanna be like them! I can't!!! He ripped off his sweat band and stared at his mark. If only there was a way to make it stop!

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Elijah shrugged lightly at the idea that the girl was going to get the wrong idea. He felt his arm warm to Jay’s touch and he couldn’t help but smile lightly at how cute he was being. “I don’t really care if everyone knows you’re my soulmate. I want people to know.” He said with a shrug before he felt his arm being released and Jay sit back down. Elijah frowned at the mention of stalking. “Hey I’m not stalking you I’m just-“ he was cut off as Jay just kept going. He could tell that he really didn’t want anything to do with him. Hurt laced his features as he watched Jay left the room.

 

Elijah stood there in shock for a moment before he felt a light burning in his eyes. He shook his head and kicked the desk, sending it flying into the one behind it. “Fuck…” He was pissed, and hurt, and felt like a child. Apparently, there was nothing he could do to change Jay’s mind, and if that was the case then he would just leave him alone. He walked back to his things and grabbed his bag. If there was no chance to be with his soul mate…then apparently he needed to look for love somewhere else. He tried to ignore the burning tears in his eyes as he left the classroom.

 

He didn't want to leave things this way though. Then again there wasn't anything he could do. He pushed the bathroom door open and lightly slammed his hand against the sink. "Damn it..." He shook his head and looked at himself in the mirror. Once he stopped breathing heavily and trying to stop from crying he heard the soft sounds of sniffling. He walked around to the first stall and sighed gently as he felt his mark shift. "Hey...Jay...are you crying?" he asked as he gently knocked on the door.

 

"You don't have to open the door but I think you should listen to me. You're right I don't own you, and you dont HAVE to be with me. I also don't think its fair you're taking my only chance at being happy away from me. It's statistically impossible for someone to be the happiest they can be without their soul mate. I'm not an asshole, or a dick, an I really didn't want to make you cry...I'm sorry that things got out of hand and if its what you want...I won't be apart of your life. I just wish you had given me a chance." He sighed ligthly and stepped away from the stall. "Please say something..."

 

~~

 

Damian checked his phone for the fifth time. His foot was tapping lightly against the concrete outside of the dining hall. Akira was supposed to meet him about ten minutes ago. He wondered where he was. He picked up his phone and dialed Akira’s number. It went to voicemail and he sighed. “Hey…I thought we were meeting up for lunch? Did you get busy?” He looked around a moment and then sighed. “I might just go back to my room…you seem kind of busy…I’ll wait for another 5 minutes. Hope to see you soon.” He ended the voicemail and sighed leaning against the column. He wanted to stay and wait for Akira but…it may not be for the best if he was busy. He seemed off this morning and the fact that they hadn’t texted one another all day was even weirder. Was he upset at Damian for getting mad? He didn’t really know but Damian hoped that this wasn’t bigger than it was. He decided just to sit back and play on his phone until Akira showed up…or didn’t.

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This is all your fault...I wish I never had this stupid mark! He rubbed his eyes, in a effort to stop his tears but they just kept coming. He couldn't control himself, and his heart felt like it was aching! Jay was about to put on his sweat band again when he heard the bathroom door open, his mark faintly glowing. N-no...you've got to be kidding me! Why can't I get away from you!

"Damn it..."[/Quote]

Please don't notice me...please go away! I don't want you to see me like this! He covered his mouth, hoping to stay quite. Praying that Elijah wouldn't notice him.

"Hey...Jay...are you crying?"[/Quote]

Jay clenched his eyes shut, as he felt his heart shatter. The pain in his soul mates voice was heartbreaking and the way he said his name...it was like music to his ears.

"N-no! I'm not! I-..I.." His voice trembled and broke, unable to continue. It didn't take a genius to know that he was lying. He listened as Elijah spoke, telling him that he should basically give him and chance and apologizing for the way he acted and what was said. He even said that he'd be willing to give up and leave him alone ..which is what Jay wanted but...why was every word he said killing him? All he wanted was a chance...

 

Jay fought the urge to run into Elijah's arms. He knew he was right...but he was terrified of becoming gay. He was too afraid to open up to anyone...his soul mate was desperate to love him but that was because he didn't know him. He didn't know how disgusting he was...how much baggage he had. The idea of another man touching him again made him sick! But everything changed when he added Elijah into the equation and that made him extremely uncomfortable. Too no longer be in control of his body and feelings. To automatically want to pour out your heart and soul to a stranger and give them everything.

 

To blindly trust.

 

Jay felt like he just couldn't do it.

"Please say something..." [/Quote]

Jay fell to his knees, his body trembling as he sobbed uncontrollably now. He was going to break Elijah's heart as well as his own. "P-ppplleeassee...goooo aaawwaayy! " He said threw greeted teeth, clenching his shirt as he felt his heart burn in agony. This was by far the hardest thing he ever had to do. "I-I'm sorrrrryy...I..c-caaaant love you.."

 

~~

 

Akria came running , being over a half and hour late. He approached Damian who was still standing outside the dinning hall, waiting for him. He quickly bowed, panting up a storm. "I'm ah -s-so Ah! Sorry!" He strighted himself out, trying to regain his breath. He hung his head in shame, not even able to look Damian in the eyes. "I got held up in class- and lost track of time- I'm really really sorry. I feel bad that you waited so long." He gently reached out to his lover and took his hand. "Do you still wanna eat? " Akria was doing his best to hide his feelings but deep down he was feeling quite distraught. He wanted to cry again, that was why he was late....with Damian around him almost 24/7 he couldn't find time to himself which is what he desperately wanted right now. He couldn't confide in Damian about Tetsu and he didn't want to upset his mother, and Jay wouldn't care, let alone comfort him...which means - he had to suffer alone.

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  • 2 months later...

Elijah felt his heart rip from his chest as the soft, breaking voice of his soul mate travelled to him from behind the stall. He gently placed his hand on the door, pushing lightly but feeling the door was locked. He knew he was lying, he knew Jay was crying and it was all his fault. He already felt terrible for taking things too far and yet…he was still feeling worse as the minutes passed. When he finally asked him to say something back Jay was silent for a long moment. Then Elijah heard the man fall to his knees and start sobbing.

 

He didn’t have to say anything, or do anything, for Elijah to get the hint. His eyes shut softly as he heard the pleading from Jay. He just wanted to be left alone. A tear fell down Elijah’s cheek and he rested his forehead on the door. “Alright…” He knelt down and reached under the door gently taking Jay’s hand. “I’ll leave you alone…I wish I could have gotten to know you.” He released his hand and pulled it back from under the door.

 

“If you ever need me, you know were to find me.” He stood, trying his hardest to not let the hurt echo in his voice. “Goodbye…Jay..” He stood, and slowly walked to the door to the bathroom before leaving. He stood there for a moment in complete heartbreak as tears welled in his eyes. Girls passed him, whispering as if he was some type of spectacle. He didn’t want to be around anyone, he didn’t want to do anything, all he wanted was to be alone. His entire life he had been waiting for the small mark on his wrist to grow. When it finally started it was because of a man who wanted nothing to do with him. Soulmates didn’t always work out…and Elijah just happened to be one of the ones that didn’t work out.

 

He took a deep breath and wiped his eyes. He pulled his head up straight and walked to the dean’s office. With a soft knock he was let in to explain why he wanted to change classes. Elijah filled out one of the hardest documents he had ever had to fill out that day. He signed to give the English class he had been teaching to another graduate student while he was given a Composition class on the other side of campus. It was for the best if Jay didn’t want to see him. Elijah didn’t have it in him to torture his soulmate even more when there was obviously no chance for him. He thanked the director before leaving the office and heading to the library. His escape amongst pages and pages of literature.

 

~~

 

Damian felt tears well up in his eyes as he saw another minute pass. It had been an hour and yet Damian didn’t have it in him to walk away. He wanted to see Akira…even if he didn’t want to see him. When he finally came running up an hour and a half had passed and Damian’s hurt had turned to annoyance. His hands quickly found his waist as Akira stood infront of him panting, making lame ass excuses that he had no interest in listening to.

 

“I already ate…you left me here waiting for you for an hour and a half Akira…” He sighed and hopped off the ledge he had been sitting on. “I have class…I’ll see you later.” He gently pat Akira’s shoulder before walking away. He hadn’t eaten, but he was so annoyed with all the secrecy behind his boyfriend that he didn’t want to sit through an awkward dinner with him. He pulled his books closer to him and sighed. If Akira was going to hide stuff from him…then he could. But it was going to make their relationship a million times more difficult.

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  • 1 month later...
“Alright…”[/Quote]

Jay's eyes widened hearing Elijah agree to give up on him. Who knew the word alright would be so heart breaking. He tensed feeling his soulmate touch him, but this time Jay didn't have the strength to pull away. He could feel the unshakable connection between them and for a brief second he felt like all of his troubles would disappear as long as he was holding Elijah's hand. Its so....warm..

“I’ll leave you alone…I wish I could have gotten to know you.” [/Quote]

Once again he felt a stabbing pain in his chest. Like a knife was been forced threw his heart and twisted, and when Elijah pulled away, his body turned cold.

“If you ever need me, you know were to find me....Goodbye…Jay..” [/Quote]

Goodbye...Elijah...

He listened to his soul mates footsteps as he left the bathroom, leaving him to cry alone. Jay found himself crying for awhile before he eventually ran out of tears to shed.

 

That day, he skipped the rest of his classes and stayed in his dorm room as he tried to fix the damage Elijah had done to his mind and heart. He was desperate to numb his emotions, to forget about his soul mate, but....he wondered....was it even possible?

 

~~

Akria could see the annoyance on his boyfriends face and it honestly sent chills down his spine.

“I already ate…"[/Quote]

"You did?"

"You left me here waiting for you for an hour and a half Akira…” [/Quote]

"Damian...I said I was sorry..what else do you want from me?"

“I have class…I’ll see you later.”[/Quote]

"Damian..." He sighed heavily, as his boyfriend pated him on the shoulder, walking away. He already felt like shit, so he didn't need his boyfriend being upset with him too. He ran a hand threw his hair feeling like his whole world was falling apart. He watched as his boyfriend left before stepping into the mess hall to eat alone...

 

{ Two Weeks Later }

 

It hasn't taken Jay long to figure out what had happened to Elijah. After that day, he apparently changed classes and gave up the class he was teaching for a composition class on the other side of campus, which Jay was honestly grateful for and since there campus was quite large, there paths hasn't crossed once. Which made it a little bit easier for Jay to move on. For the past few days his mark wasn't even reacting much, which helped put his mind to ease but even so....his thoughts would sometimes wonder over to Elijah. Recalling the day they first met, and the day he agreed to leave him be... It still made his stomach turn just thinking about it and he'd never admit it, but Elijah was often in his dreams.

 

As the days passed, he hadn't been talking or flirting with other girls much less people in general and was giving Akria the cold shoulder. Which in turn made Akria stop trying so hard to bond with him.

 

Jay slowly made his way to class, deciding to skip lunch today.

 

Meanwhile, as Jay tried to get back to his normal life before meeting Elijah, for the past few days, Akria's life was falling apart.

 

After ditching class and finally meeting Tetsu in person he found himself heading over to the Venom bar almost everyday after class, telling Damian he was busy doing class projects. He wouldn't get back on campus till late, but he'd end up stay up to finish his homework, only to sleep for an hour or two before his morning classes. As you can image, it didn't take Damain long to lose his patience with Akria, taking notice of the bags under his eyes and how he kept 'blowing him off'

 

Today, they were meeting up for lunch on the school roof, and hopefully today, they wouldn't end up arguing again. Akria hated fighting with Damian but as of now he didn't want to tell him about his past, much less the truth about why he couldn't be with Damian so much after school."Hey..." He tried to smile but it was clearly forced. He quickly took a seat across from Damian, pulling out his lunch from his brown bag, all he had was a sandwich, an apple, and a bottle of water. Seems he was eating a lot less these days too, Akria often ate huge portions of food, even eating the cafeterias bento boxs which were his favorite. It was obvious something was bothering him, and it was obvious he was lying to Damian about it but....Akria had always kept him in the dark so....

"How are your classes so far? I got five pages of math equations to do" He sighed, "Ms. Yuki is ruthless.." He chuckled softly, trying to pretend like everything was ok.

 

As the days passed and Akria spent more and more time with his old friends and Tetsu, he could see how fast the man was dying, which made Akria want to spend as much time with him and the others as he could. To be honest he was looking forward to leaving campus and playing cards with his old pals again, reliving a life he kind of missed. Well....most of his past he hated but every memory he had of Tetsu, Ichijo and Shiki...were good ones.

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