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Chapter 01 Nozomu realized that even in dreams, he could not forget about that guy. Recalling the conversation yesterday, Nozomu could not help but allows anger to fill him up. What’s the meaning of “I’ll meet someone better”, and what’s the meaning of “our personality is not compatible”! He better not let me find out that he has another lover or I’ll skin that person alive! Oh yeah! I should give a call to Oumi! [Genji High School] The moment Nozomu sees Hikari, one of his childhood friend, enters the classroom, he grabbed Oumi, another childhood friend of his, to their seats and break the ‘terrible’ news to them. “Oh…” Hikari said unfeelingly. “What happened? When did that happened? How did it happen? Why?” Oumi asked with concern. “It was yesterday… I think that there’s a third party…” Nozomu said with great sorrows, but when he mentioned the later part, he’s eyes went all razor-sharp. Just at this moment of time, Nobu walks in to the class. He is the Mr. Popular in school, a sweetheart of many, and a person whom many worship. Just like it had occurred in Mangas, where ever he appears, he always seems to be glowing, and always surrounded by people. “Hi everyone! Good morning!” Just like a prince, Nobu greeted everyone with great courteous. The moment Nobu steps into the classroom, Hachi ran up to him – almost like a puppy wagging it tail at the sight of its owner – and stick with him. “Hey, let’s skip school today! I don’t want to see them.” Nozomu said. “No, classes are starting soon. We can’t just leave now.” Oumi said seriously. “Agreed. You can leave if you want to.” Hikari said unemotionally. “Hey, are you guys my friend or not! I just fell out of love and I don’t wish to see Nobu…” “Why? Is he the one who stole your girl?” Hikari asked with doubt. “No… Hachi is the one…” “Huh?” Hikari is puzzled as he asked again. “What Nozomu meant was, Hachi is the one who snatched Nobu away from him~~” Oumi was nice to clear the doubt of Hikari. “I see… Wait! What did you say?!!” Hikari glanced towards Nozomu who was extremely quiet and asked. “You were with Nobu??? Why didn’t we know about it???” “Hmmm, I knew. ” Oumi looked at Hikari innocently, causing Hikari to give him a suspicious look. “So I say… Let’s skip class……” Before Nozomu could finish his sentence, the school bell rang and the teacher walks in. He has no choice but to stay obediently for class, after some muttering. To be Continued...

Today... I did few... 2 from Matsumoto Temari's artbook... For Takumi-kun... didn't do this couple... ^^;;; It's Misu & Shingyouji... 3 different... 3rd movie couple... 4&5th movie couple... and manga couple.. ^^ I did this quit some time ago... but did feel like post it... but, for you like cute thing... it for you... ^^ It's from Shimada Masako's side book... Last one is I also did quit sometime ago... only problem is I forgot where and who is artist of this picture... --;;; Enjoy!!! And for the Takumi-kun special... I have to do it later... I need little more time to think about and put them together... Also, I have to go somewhere so... See you later for that... ^^;;;

Summary:What is the most probable thing that you could think of in an All Boys High School? Friendship. Love. Hates. Detest. Competition. What could happened, if everything happens on you? How would you have taken the stress? Or maybe, was everything really a stress? Status: Complete Hi Everyone, It's me DF again and believe me, it's good to see everyone again. I hope you will enjoy this as much as you enjoyed [Diary]. This time round it's going to be different. Well, as to how different, you have to read on a notice it yourself. Synopsis:

Title: Yorube Naki Mono Manga ALT. names: 寄る辺無き者 无所依靠之人 People With No Place to Go Original run: 2008 Description: Set in feudal-era Japan, Yorube Naki Mono centers around prostitutes, assassins, and the grimier sides of city life. One night, a mysterious young man named Shikon is introduced as the newest member of Saiga's group of assassins for hire. Shikon is outgoing and flirtatious, but Saiga can sense there's more to Shikon than he lets on... A chance encounter on a moonlit night leads to two destinies awakening. Manga-type: Manga Written by: Yoneda Kou Drawn by: Yoneda Kou Published by: Taiyo Tosho Group(s) Scanlating: Dangerous Pleasure Status: On hiatus Completely Scanlated: No Completely Translated: No Genres: Action, Drama, Historical, Yaoi Categories: Shonen-ai, Rivalry Main Characters: Adaptation based on available: N/A Recommendations: Kono Yoru no Subete Read Yorube Naki Mono Online: Yorube Naki Mono Download link: Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 For download reupload requests, please post here so the staff notices them. Thanks! YO Staff

We all go thru hell in this life sometimes... Be it because we can't have what we want...be it because of our health, our family, our friends, our love, unrequited or not... But it's good to know sometimes, that if we look real good you find that small light that'll give you the strenght to go thru everything once again... Be it a word, a gesture or even a moment... If you hang on to them, you'll see that in the overrall picture...we're not so bad as we seem to be... As i was doind research work on the web, i came across the most heartbreaking story of some parents, who were travelling around the world to find out bone marrow for their kid... Yes, there are a lot of store's like this around the world... Why did this one shock me? Maybe beacuse both parents were unemployed, with no money and going from house to house to beg for some pocket change from strangers to allow them to travel to other countries in other to find their daughter's saviour... They almost didn't eat, because they were saving every penny for the trips, and they didn't have a house, they were sleeping over at family and friends... Their words are still echoing in my head... " If it's for her, we'll do anything, we're so lucky o have her...She's our everything...and we'll fight to our last breath to save her..." This is true love... :,(

Sensitive Pornograph (uncensored) Anime Title: Sensitive Pornograph Written by: Ashika Sakura Genre: yaoi Number of Episodes: 1 - have 2 part Year : 2004 Plot: Part 1 : The story begins with Seiji Yamada (Voiced by: Kenichi Suzumura), a young shonen manga artist, who develops an affair with a fellow mangaka, who writes hentai, named Sono Hanasaki, who is also his favorite artist. The plot-line develops from Yamada mistaking Sono for a girl. After having discovered him to be a boy, Seiji still falls in love with him, and they have an intimate affair. Seiji becomes distraught when he learns of Sono's past tendencies of sleeping around, and for a time the two become separated. However, they eventually reconcile after Seiji learns of the emotional damage Sono has suffered as a result of being abandoned and used only for sex. Part 2 : The second part begins with Ueno, a student in college, who works part-time as a pet sitter, receiving an assignment to take care of a rabbit. Upon arriving at the specified address, looking for a rabbit named Aki-chan, he finds that there is no rabbit. Instead he discovers a young man bound, naked, in a closet, apparently a sex slave to the man who hired Ueno. Aki-chan is chagrined to realize that his lover/master has created a twist on a sexual thrill situation for himself - he has sent strangers to Aki-chan for sex before, but tricking someone into the apartment is a new twist. Aki-chan knows his master wants to watch from a distance while Aki-chan has sex with the duped Ueno. Explaining that his master will get mad if things don't go his way, and may even hurt Ueno, Aki-chan persuades him to have sex to ..... Download Sensitive Pornograph OVA: Download Watch Sensitive Pornograph Online (HD Quality): Sensitive Pornograph Online For download re-upload requests, post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

Well....to be honest i don't really have much talent but i wrote a little something... The characters are not known, they'r all from my head...Hope you like it. Summary : Hana is in a very complicated relationship with Shu... Then one day Shu doesnt show up to meet Hana and Hana decides to go drinking...He finds out Shu is being unfaithful and in the middle of this turmoil he meets Mina a stunning stage dancer.... Hope you enjoy(dont expect much though ) Status: Complete Warning: This fiction is rated +18! It contains strong language and explicit sex scenes. Spell…. “23:00 pm…” “What the hell am i waiting for at this hour?” “If he’s not coming then he’s not, and I’m leaving…There’s no way I’ll stay here in this cold waiting for nobody….” “It’s always like this, he’s busy, and he has work but what about me?” “For two years we’ve been in this kind of relationship in which no one gives in…I’m tired already of the empty house or the lonely hours I spend every day…I’m going to have a drink….sigh” And so I went, expecting nothing but a full glass of alcohol that could make me forget everything. All I wanted was an escape from an exhausting relationship, that seemed to last for too long already, it wasn’t working at all, but I still cared for him… But in fact, that night brought more than what I was expecting… I entered the first bar I saw, it wasn’t in a very good place but who cared I wanted to find someone and maybe, who knows be able to chat a little… I asked for a beer, but not even the beer was enough to take away the bitter taste I had in my mouth, so I asked the waiter to bring me a whiskey double(now that was going to work for sure). I kept asking one after the other, still sitting alone with nobody to talk to. I kind of analyzed the mood around me, apparently I entered some shady place, and it was so dark I couldn’t almost see a hand in front of me… I started looking around and was able to recognize something similar to a stage, it wasn’t big or very well equipped to a live performance and I wondered if there was something happening , cause it didn’t seem the kind of place to hold concerts… I looked the other way and saw a few small tables with a couple of chairs, filled with people, it toke me a second to realize they were couples, male one’s…(so I really did come to the right place uh)… if I wanted to find someone tonight not only for chit-chat it would be easy in this kind of place). The thought made me shriver… Yeah I was mad at him but did I really want to betray him, or was I just so mad to make him believe I did it? I didn’t know what to do…but the next few seconds changed everything… Shu walked thru the front door with someone I didn’t recognize…and honestly I was only able to see his face cause of the light outside when he opened the door…. I felt crushed…I couldn’t move an inch and I started shaking and wasn’t being able to stop… I picked up my cell phone just make sure and called him…If he picked it up what would I do? I tried to dial his number, he was always the first name on my phone list…I took the phone to my ear but all I eared was still the voice mail…. Was it really him? Was I seeing things? I stole another look and it was so hard because of the dark but my eyes were adjusting to the dim light and I was sure… Shu was with another man I didn’t knew… It couldn’t possibly be one of his co-workers because they didn’t know he was gay. I didn’t want to believe that he found somebody else and left me in the dark, double crossing me. My heart was about to burst…how could he do something like that to me…he left me out in the cold winter and came here with someone I didn’t know…who was this person, what did he meant to him, for how long was this going on? It was just too much for me to handle at that time…I started to feel dizzy… I just wanted to leave…but my body wasn’t responding. That was when I first saw him… “Are you alright, do you need help getting up?” The drinks started to get to me and I wasn’t able to stood up…I was shaking all over but I wanted to get out of there…I couldn’t stop my tears, and they started to fall…All the tears I’ve wanted to shed for so long began falling endlessly … “Look if you aren’t feeling alright I don’t mind taking you to a cab or something you’d just have to wait a little…” I knew he was talking to me but I wasn’t able to understand clearly what he was saying… He helped me get up and took me to some other place in the bar, with even less light… “Ok c’mon…sit here, I’m gonna bring ya’ glass of water… Boss get me some water” (he yelled at someone)… I wanted to focus on his face…to see who was being so kind to me…to see who was the person who was caring so much for me…nobody ever did…I wanted to thank him, but my voice didn’t come out I was still sobbing like a crazy person, and making a scene in a public place…Oh God what if Shu sees me? And why am I so worried about him, he surely never worried about me… “Hey look, I’m gonna leave ya here so you gotta be a good boy and behave, later I’ll take ya home or something…” He stood there looking at me, and for the first time I was able to see his face… He was perfection itself… The long black silky hair, a black kind of shining kimono and a dazzling smile…I had never seen so much beauty with my eyes… “Aren’t you a cutie…”He said while he watched me and smiled… I was dazzled, lost and confused…I could no longer figure out where I was, what was I doing, who was i… Some music started to play in the background, and the stage lights began to shine so brightly in that dark place that my eyes filled with tears hurt when I wanted to open them… I was standing just beside the stage and the lights would certainly give me away… “Shit I have to get out of here…if Shu sees me here, what am I going to do…what will he do… I don’t want to know”. A drum began to play… It was such a painful beat…It was so similar to my own heartbeat right then, that it was crushing, one after the other the strong thumping was bringing me to some other place and I felt myself being driven away by it… “Hey cutie I’m gonna have to go cause it’s time for me to dance, but don’t go anywhere, I’ll take care of you in a minute, ok?” That dazzling smile again… He went to the stage, and it suddenly dawn on me that the only thing that mattered was watching him…He was going to dance? Really…?He was a dancer…? I wanted to see…I wanted to see him…But why?! My eyes centered themselves on the small stage when a shadow took the place of the light… What I saw next left me breathless… The black figure standing so still in stage now, was till a few seconds ago holding my hand…I felt it warming just thinking about it. He started to slowly move to the drum beat, and I was lost. His face, his body…everything looked like was putting a spell on me, the way his hand moved to me felt like his previous touch was enticing my body to what more, to want his caress to want his kiss…to want his everything… Was it the alcohol, or something else…? I couldn’t help thinking what would he feel like if I touched his bare chest underneath that silky kimono…what his hair would smell like, the touch of his hand in me… His dance was so sensual, I was beginning to wonder if he was real, if he wasn’t something my mind made up to ease my loneliness… I wanted more. I didn’t want to end there, so I started drinking water to make sure my five senses became restored… And I remembered Shu…sitting somewhere in that place, watching his dance as well. I became fire inside, I wanted to scream and beat the hell out of him. But now wasn’t the time. I would ask the beautiful dancing man to take me home, and who knows maybe something will happen, and I’ll be able to get my revenge on Shu for everything he did to me. The thought of revenge made me feel powerful, and I liked that kind of feeling.. I was going to make it last for a little while longer…" Well that's all for now. I'll soon post something else to continue the story What will happen between Hana and Mina? And what about Shu, how will he react finding out Hana saw him? Stay tunned

I didn't knew that I was going to read something from you so fast... Like it... Now I'll be waiting for the continuation of this story...

Yay!!! :hamtaro-005 (23): I can't wait for the next chapter!

It's nice ..cannot wait for the next chapter )

Second Boy by Takahashi Yuu. --

"Kitsune no Yome" (chap 6-7) in the volume "Canvas ni Kuchizuke o" by Nangoku Banana.

Kannou Kissaten by Sakura Haiji here's next

Dear Destiny fate. I just finished reading your story. I definitely loooveee iiiit! The shape you gave it, the characters, I liked Daichi from the very beginning.His words are sooo sweet. I love it. Hope you keep writing. Your English is better than mine, so no worries. You're quite talented. Thanks, I enjoyed it very much. To Goki: Thanks to you also. Your help gave us the chance to enjoy it. Thanks a lot

I love the poem a loooot! And also the way Hama arranged it and matched it with the picture! So beautiful, thanks to both of you for sharing! :leaf3:

MU Chapter 1 // Chapter 2 // Chapter 3 Multiupload Chapter 1 // Chapter 2 // Chapter 3

I liked the story !! I appreciated how you made the story by their diaries ... I agree like others, great work Destiny.Fate and goki. Hope you're going to give us others stories like that !

Chapter 09 [FINALE] It feels… Just like my diary… But [Daichi] he… Rui, he’s much more direct then I am. Si thought, after reading, and while the ice cream on the Tiramisu melts. “Let’s go!” Rui said as he asked for the bill. “To where?” Si gently keeping his gift back into the box as he said. “For the countdown!” Wow! It’s already 11:40pm! Time flies! With this, Si followed Rui to a corner just around the Christmas Tree, waiting for the arrival of Christmas. “We’ve known each other for 2 years…” Rui suddenly spoke. “I still remember how we met on XXX’s web forum. You and I really hit off very well and chatting with you is really enjoyable. My original workplace was nowhere near yours, but, I requested for a transfer in order to get close to you, to meet you. But I didn’t have the courage to. I didn’t have the courage to face you.” “Why?” Am I so scary?! "Because I’m a homo." Rui said frankly. "I'm afraid... I am afraid you would discriminate against me." "Is this how you look at me? That I would discriminate you?!” Si was angry. "I'm afraid you will be like most of the people, thinking that I’m heterogeneous..." "If you really think that I am someone like that, I’m sor~~~ry; I think we have nothing to say anymore." Si angrily stood up, ready to turn away. "No, wait a minute! In fact, I... I like you for long time! I just didn’t dare say it!" Rui confessed while holding on tightly to Si’s hand, causing him to momentary unable to react. Looking at Si’s silence, Rui came up with the conclusion. "It seems that things are really as I had expected..." "Why do you have your own conclusion when I did not even say a single word?” "What?! You mean... I... I have the chance!?!" Rui momentary excitement has led him to inadvertently loosen the clutching of Si’s hand. "I... I need to get home for sleep..." as Si spoke, he tried to escape from the venue. [30. . . 29. . . 28. . ] While the crowd counts down, Rui desperately tried to catch up with the escaping Si. CAUGHT! "Let me go, there’s a lot of people here!” "No way! Unless you tell me if you like me!" "Such a disgrace!” "I want my grace, but I want you too.” At the moment, they looked into each other’s eyes. [3. . . 2. . . 1. . . Merry Christmas! ] Man-made snow filled the air, and the fireworks too, were dazzling. "…” "What? What did you say? I couldn’t hear it!" "Nevermind it’s ok then!" "Again! Say it again!” Rui is trying to use his beautiful green puppy eyes on Si. "Nooo~~~!” "Si~~~” Although it wasn’t heard, but under the dazzling fireworks, he saw the shape of his lips… “I – Like – You – Too!” ==================================================

Chapter 08 To be Continued...

Chapter 07 To be Continued...

Chapter 06 [in the restaurant.] “Is this meal your treat?” [sora] looked doubtfully at [Daichi]. “Certainly! Haha...” If that’s the case, maybe I could consider forgiving him for deceiving me. “Excuse me waiter! Give us the best wine you have here, just choose it for us. Also a set of A meal, a set of C meal, a portion of steak, make it medium well done. A lobster baked rice. And lastly… An ice-cream on tiramisu. That would be all for now!” This guy… Haha… I bet he’s doing it on purpose! Deliberately trying to make me laugh huh! “Are you trying to empty my wallet?” “I don’t usually accept invitation from every one! You should be honored!” Looking at his attire – suit and tie – and the restaurant he made reservation in is pretty high class, he should be able to afford it, no? "Haha... Now, I think we should re-introduce ourselves again! I’m Zhan Zhen Hao • Rui, 25. I have a car and an apartment. I’m currently working as the Executive Director of Advertising and Planning in an advertising company. My blood type is AB +. Oh yes, I am a mix blood. " "Oh. I’m Yang Cheng Si.” "That’s all??!” "That’s all!” So annoying… When the meals are served, Si began to eat, almost desperately; there isn’t a lot of opportunity to eat like this! Meanwhile, Rui took the advantage, to observe Si, while he’s eating. Look all you want, thought Si; I’ll just eat to my fill! When all the dishes have been served except for dessert, Rui spoke. "Where’s my Christmas gift?" “Gift??” Oh God! Damn! I didn’t prepare any! “I knew you would forget, forget it! Here, take it.” Si took over the gifts. It has a silvery white ribbon tied to 4 bows on a bronze-colored gift box. "What is this?" I had never received such valuable gift. The external looks expensive, could the gift in it be more expensive?! Rui said nothing; he just smiled and signals him to open the gift box. With high anticipation, Si un-tie the ribbon, opened the box. A… A book?!? A black book? He raised his head, looked at Rui confusedly. Is this a 'Death Note'? “It’s your Christmas gift.” What! My Christmas gift is a book?! Miser!!! Flipping to the first page, it has, but only a few words. For: Yang Cheng Si Curiosity prompted Si to flip to the second page. . . The third page. . . and so on until a blank page appears in the book. . . To be Continued...

Chapter 05 Wednesday, December 23 [Online] [Daichi: Let’s meet at the atrium of TM shopping mall!] [sora: If I didn’t appear tomorrow… Will you kill me? o_o] [Daichi: What’s going on this time? .V.] [sora: Nothing. Just that I haven’t seen him for long.] [Daichi: Tell me, between him and me, who’s more important to you? >_ [sora: What are you talking about? ?_?] [Daichi: Is it not that case?! I’ve never seen you so interested in someone before! >o [sora: Who said that?! I’m pretty interested in you too! ^0^] [Daichi: Okay! So don’t be late tomorrow! (^0^)] [sora: Alright! (-_-#)] [Daichi: Oh yeah, to let us recognize each other, let’s bring along the XXX book! =^__^=] [sora: -_-^ That’s really old-school. Hey! You haven’t told me the time yet!] [Daichi: Oh right! Seven. Seven by the atrium!] [sora has just logged out. ] [Daichi has just logged out.] Christmas Eve. A 15 storey tall Christmas Tree was set up right in the middle of TM shopping mall. Gentle lightings have created a romantic atmosphere. Couples also made use of the chance to enjoy a lovely Christmas Eve. Man-made snow flakes filled the air, giving everyone the feeling of living in a foreign country. [sora], currently standing at the Atrium of TM Shopping Mall, in front of the Christmas tree, thinking about that guy while holding XXX’s book. *Sighs… I know I shouldn’t do this to [Daichi]. But still, I’ll let him know that I wish to leave early today. Looking at the book in his hand, it was the same as what ‘he’ was holding on to that day. [sora] bowed his head down in depress, thinking, it’s been 6 days…… Suddenly, a pair of black leather shoes appear in front of [sora]’s eye. Who could this be? Standing in front of someone so abruptly, [sora] thought. He wasn’t in a good mood, hence he start cursing in his heart. Next moment, the owner of the black leather shoes spoke. “You are [sora] right?” [Daichi]? [sora] slowly raised his head, from the black shoes, to the black pants, his eye then remained on the XXX’s book. It really is [Daichi]! “Not looking at me?” It can’t be that he’s shy, is he?! [Daichi] smiled toward [sora]. As though he had gathered all his determination, [sora] finally looked up. “You… You…” As expected! Just as what he has imagined, [sora] – tried – to turn and ran away the minutes he sees him. Since [Daichi] had expected this, he managed to reach out and grabbed him. “Let go of me!” Back facing [Daichi], [sora] spoke unfeelingly. “I’ll let you go if you listen to my explanations!” [Daichi] knows it, if he let’s go of [sora], he might never be able to see him again! “Explanations of what?! The fact that you played me around like a puppet?!” [sora] said agitatedly. “No I didn’t! Ever since the very first time we’ve met, I had always wanted to tell you that I’m [Daichi]!! But I was in a horrible state, remember, how could I admit it to you?! I was embarrassed because you were staring at me bluntly!” I admit... I had originally intended to play a joke on you… “Since… Since when did I?! With someone all drenched up seated beside you, which retarded person wouldn’t stare at him?” [sora] blushed unknowingly. “But you looked at me as though you were in love with me!” [sora] felt the instant gush in embarrassment in him and said, “Try saying it one more time, and I’ll kill you!” [Daichi] looked at [sora] and smiled. He said gently, “Nope, you wouldn’t.” [sora] stood in astonishment. Once again, he stared at him bluntly. His eyes are beautiful! “Look, I’ve charmed you once again didn’t I? Which is why I believe you wouldn’t kill me. Haha… Now this reminds me of the first time we met.” [Daichi] spoke, still smiling. Hmm? This scenario… seems so familiar… Wh…what was I doing?! Why was I staring at him unconsciously again?! [sora] snapped back to reality. Seems to know his thought by heart, [Daichi] was first to speak. "On the first day that we met on train, you were staring at me with those glances as well. Do you know what it means?" “What does it means?” [sora] ask innocently. “It means, your glance, is filled with admiration!” [Daichi] said proudly. Idiot… [sora] thought. “It’s getting late, I need to get home.” “Late? Now? It’s only 8pm...” “I have the habit of going to bed early.” “Oh… Let’s go for supper, I’m hungry!” “Supper? Now? It’s only 8pm...” “I have the habit of eating supper early.” [Daichi] smiled brightly as he grab on to [sora]’s hand, leading him towards TM Shopping Mall. He’s definitely the idiot of the idiots… [sora] thought, and – for a second – smiled. In order to not create a scene in front of the crowd, and feeling a little hungry at the same time, [sora] hence did not mind – just for a while - [Daichi] holding on to his hand. It’s only his facial expression that shows obvious reluctance. The crowd in front of TM Shopping Mall must be wondering, why the guy in front seems to be so full of joy, yet, the one behind seems to be rather discontented. To be Continued...

Chapter 04 Friday, December 18 Dear Diary, I took a cab today, so I didn’t get to see him. I can’t believe that I took a cab to avoid him?! The fare seriously cost me a bomb; I haven’t taken one for a very long time. Is this what they call, “spend a little money, block a bigger disaster”? Frankly speaking, why do I need to avoid him? Why should I be angry? Why is everything about him filling up my whole diary? It’s too strange! In fact, I have a sudden urge to ask him if he was waiting for me when I saw him yesterday! End up I didn’t of course!... I was afraid, afraid that it was only my unrequited love… No wait, that’s not it. It should be said that I didn’t want him to misunderstand me. I guess train is the choice for tomorrow! Cab is really too expensive! Saturday, December 19 [Online] [Daichi: You’re quiet today.] [sora: I didn’t see him today.] [Daichi: ?_? Sorry?] [sora: I took the train, but I didn’t see him today…] [Daichi: … Sora?] [sora: Sigh… I took a cab yesterday, so I didn’t take train. And today, I didn’t see him.] [Daichi: 0_0 So you took cab yesterday! Why?!] [sora: Because I don’t want to see him.] [Daichi: -_-…] [sora: Hey… do you think he’s angry with me?] [Daichi: … You… You are afraid that he would be angry?] [sora: I… I didn’t! I’m just…] [Daichi: just getting more and more concerned about him?] [sora: I’m tired, going to sleep now. e_e] [Daichi: Don’t try to change the subject! .V. Say it if you miss him!] [sora: Why! Why would I miss him?! How do you know that I missed him?!] [Daichi: …] [sora: It’s entirely your fault! You told me to befriend him, told me to apologize to him, if only you didn’t say anything!! ~_~] [Daichi: …] [sora: Do you have nothing better to do, why must you be so busybody?!] [Daichi: … So, you’re blaming me now?] [sora: Nope, just reprimanding you.] [Daichi: So have you finished what you want to reprimand about?] [sora: Yup. 0_0] [Daichi: Feeling better now?] [sora: A little better. Sorry, I took it all out on you.] [Daichi: No worries, I’ve always been the trash can for you to vent your anger at. Piece of cake! ^_~] [sora: Hey! That didn’t sound very nice! But seriously, Daichi, you’re still the best! ^V^] [Daichi: Are you free on Christmas Eve?] [sora:?_?] [Daichi: Let’s meet up!] [sora: Why bring this up all of a sudden?] [Daichi: We’ve been chatting for 2 years, don’t you want to know how dashing I am? ^_~] [sora: HAHA... Shameless! *^_^*] [Daichi: So what’s your choice? I’m really dashing you know! *o*] [sora: Oh please, I’m dashing too! ^o^] [Daichi: That’s why I want to meet you!] [sora: Okay! When and where?] [Daichi: I’ll let you know next Wednesday.] [sora: Acting all secretive huh?! Fine then, Wednesday so be it! We’ll talk again. (^_^)] [sora has just logged out. ] [Daichi has just logged out.] Monday, December 21 Dear Diary, still… I didn’t get to see him today, and I wonder why? Did something happen to him? Will he appear tomorrow? Sigh… I’m no longer in the mood to write…… Tuesday, December 22 Dear Diary, I’m not used to it, not used to not seeing him. I’ve in fact started to miss him. I miss him when he came into the cabin and sat beside me, ha… sometimes I’ll glance at him a few times. Of course, he wouldn’t know that! Tomorrow… If he’ll appear tomorrow… I promise! I’ll definitely go up to him, let him know that I want to know more about him! I want to befriend you! Even if this means that he might see me as a pervert! Yes! That’s it! No regret! I’m feeling a little better, finally. Tomorrow! He better be there tomorrow! To be Continued...

Chapter 03 Monday, December 14 Dear Diary, I’m in a bad mood now, and I didn’t intend to write anything today… But in the end, I still wrote. I had intended to apologize to him today. I was a little happy yet a little embarrassed when I saw him on the platform. When I finally gathered my courage, decided to approach him, a lady appeared! She ran towards him, and… and… and hugged him! Damn! The train came, just in time, so I halted my steps towards him and dashed into train… And to think he had some nerves to take the seats directly opposite me. Of course, the one sitting beside him was ‘THAT’ lady! And sh… she’s holding his hands too! Argh… Fortunately, they got off one stop earlier then usual, otherwise, I might… Forget it! I’m not writing tomorrow! Never am I going to write again! Tuesday, December 15 Dear Diary, I had said that I wouldn’t write anymore, but habit is a very terrifying thing. Just like getting used to seeing him every day, getting used to him sitting next to me. I was still a little happy when I saw him today. But when I saw the lady next to him, I really wanted to turn around and walk away, but my feet were like nailed to the ground, and I couldn’t move… Watching them board the train, watching the train leaves the station slowly, watching the train disappeared completely from my eye… I leaned helplessly by the pillar behind me. The funny thing is, just when the door closes, he noticed that I did not board the train and had this… surprised expression on his face. Ha… was that even necessary? Habit is really a very terrifying thing. It seems that I have to start quitting such bad habit. Wednesday, December 16 [Online] [Daichi: Hey, you alright? You seems a little quiet today? ?_?] [sora: Am i?] [Daichi: You… give the impression that you’re moody?] [sora: Did I?] [Daichi: Yes! T^T And look! You’re giving me perfunctory replies!] [sora: Did I?] [Daichi: What’s wrong with you?! Is it because of that guy? Do you still see him?] [sora: I took a later train today, so I didn’t get to see him.] [Daichi: … Something happened between the two of you right?! Otherwise, there’s no need for you to avoid him?] [sora: I don’t wish to talk about it anymore. Let’s stop this topic! Bad habits can be quitted!] [Daichi: ?_? Bad habits?] [sora: Whatever it is, let bygones be bygones! I’ll cheer up, cheer for me too!!!] [Daichi: Cheer for you?] [sora has just logged out. ] [Daichi has just logged out.] Thursday, December 17 Dear Diary, it’s so squeezy~~~ Yesterday too… I didn’t expect that getting up the second train will be so pack! Got to get used, got to get used to it! Just when I was trying to move a little bit more into the train, someone rushed into the train. The train is already so packed, yet this moron still dares to try squeezing in, fighting the spaces with me?! I would of course need to take a good look at this moron! But the next moment, I regretted. I shouldn’t have looked!! The moment I see who that person is, I was like… OH MY GOD… It’s Him! God! I’ve already taken the second train but why would I still see him?! Damn! I couldn’t even get down the train even if I wanted to now. I decided that I’m not going to care about his presence, but why does this damn train have to be so shaky, and this makes the commuters shaky of course! I would rather bang on the train door than touch him! Hitting on the train door isn’t enjoyable! I bet I’m sulking by now. Just when I have the preparation of kissing the train door again, I didn’t felt any pain at all. ?_? That’s because the egghead blocked me away from the door! Grateful?! NO WAY!! He used his hand to protect my head from the door, and I could feel his breathe just by my ears… If possible, I would really wish to jump off the train! Of course, I didn’t! Fortunately, I’ll be getting off at the next station. I rushed out the door just before it was about to close, so I don’t know how he reacted to it. I think it would be better for me to not take the train tomorrow, such surprises isn’t very good for the heart. To be Continued...

Title: Yokubou no Shizuku Manga ALT. names: 欲望のしずく / Droplets of Desire Original run: 2008 Description: Chapter 1-4: Droplets of Desire ~ Pg. 8-156 “I’ll drown you in ecstasy—“ promised the dangerously charismatic and sexy infirmary doctor, Kokuyo, as he took Yuzuru’s body! Unable to resist or escape, Yuzuru thought he’s afraid of Kokuyo… until he was embraced by him… To Yuzuru’s surprise, it reminded him ofthe affection he used to experienced as a child…!? (From Fantasyshrine) Chapter 5: Droplets of Desire ~ Pg. 159-174 About Shirogane and Okamoto Chapter 6: Shirogane x Okamoto JEALOUSY ~ Pg. 177-178 Chapter 7: Shirogane x Okamoto PROPOSAL ~ Pg. 179 Chapter 8: Epilogue ~ Pg 181-184 Manga-type: Manga Written by: Higashino You Drawn by: Higashino You Published by: Libre Shuppan Group(s) Scanlating: Fantasyshrine Status: Complete Completely Scanlated: Yes Completely Translated: Yes Genres: Horror, Mature, Romance, Smut, Supernatural, Yaoi Categories: Drama, School Life, Teacher - Student, Rape, Bestiality Main Characters: Kokuyo, Yuzuru Adaptation based on available: N/A Recommendations: Foreskin Boys Read Yokubou no Shizuku online Yokubou no Shizuku Download link: EDIT: Link removed due to scanlator's request.

The sky seems so beautiful, the water in the pond is sparkling, I gently touched the flower beds, feeling alive.. For the first time ever, the days just keep brighter and brighter because of you... You make my life so colorful, You make my life so lively, You make my life so wonderful, You make my life so special... Even though I just met you, I want to know everything about you, Oh, do tell me... Please, somebody tell me this isn't a dream, because I would never dream something like this, something that would make my life so happy... Please, somebody tell me this isn't a dream, because I don't want to not be able to see you ever again.. Please, somebody tell me this isn't a dream, that I have fallen for you... Please, somebody tell me this isn't a dream, that I think you have fallen for me too..

Hi Bel dear, I just finished reading , how I missed Mina!!! I'm so sad, it was such a beautiful chapter. I can feel my tears at the corner of my eyes, I feel kind of down today, don't know. Destiny fate's story & yours moved me. Thanks dear for writing so well.Hope talk to you soon The biggest kiss

*__* Just as lovely hama-sama... Thank you, for taking your time doing them... The "little ducks" one *__* oh man, could there be anything more adorable......

@ Hama Thank you for sharing your picture manipulations with us once again. (: You said you don't remember the artist of the last picture: it's Uchida Kazuna. We'll keep waiting for more. (:

This would be the first reaction... :cuteonion37: Then this one : :9onion70: Then this one : :Red_fox5: And then this : :Red_fox12: Later this : :8yoyo13: Then i would see if i could join other people around to fight for Yaoi... And i woukld creat "Save Yaoi NOW" campaing... and save yaoi from dissapearing... rabbit9

If I made you motivation that is great! I just hope you keep up your work... ^^

Hello Maria! Welcome to this community! Great to have you among us!

The poem is so sad, so well written! I started to cry... rabbit0 Be strong dear, I can imagine it was hard for you, but I hope, as Yojichan said, that you'll find a new love, a person who'll know how to love you as much as you deserve and who will ease the pain *hugs* foxy3

I like the uniforms in Maiden Rose :7yoyo10:

How come I didn't notice you had already posted a new one, Pelka? It's been a while since I've read this one. Tsumetai Kemono Ni Kawarete by Narumi Yutta. --

I could say, I'm anxious right now. I don't have time to feel sad or angry or anything else *except happy because of you guys, :hamtaro-005 (8): * cause right now I'm so focusing on studying. My exam is next week! *die*

I just hope your friend is o.k. My mood... I don't know... is my mood... ^^;; I just woke up so my mine in off now... --;;;; I just can go back to sleep so I came here... So my mood right now is nothing mood... No mood at all... --;;;;

After a day.. Here the hint : It was released by this scanlation group, here the first letters :AF (2 words) More then 1000 days Title- 4 words : T _ _ M_ _ _ _ --K_ _ _ _ _--_ _--K _ _ _ _ _ T _ Hope this will help you !!

Hi memorex! Nice to meet you! Welcome to this yaoi paradise! :5yoyo34:

It's never too late .. Welcome on YaoiOtaku, Arina(memorex) ! Hope you're enjoying this friendly community like me !!

Hey WELCOME TO THE FORUM :leaf12:

Ahahah !! grimsmile (Maria) It's never too late.. The same as me.. I just introduce myself, it's been 2 weeks and I joined in march like you !! So... Welcome on YaoiOtaku !! Hope you'll enjoy this friendly community !

@ GPelka Sweet dear... I do not know which manga is this, but i have to tell ya, I REALLY wanna know cause the drawing it self are just delicious, i'm gonna have to read it... *gonna hide in a cornner and wait for someone to find it so that Bela can go read it*

it comes from.. my name XD my middle name is Chieko and the "ot" part stands for Otsuka, my deceased Japanese grandfather's surname my username in other forums or accounts in various webs also similar to this, hahaha

@ Rei @ Aoi Finally the Shu part in Hana's life ends, truth is...(i was starting not to know what to do with him ) I'll end it soon because, i was afraid of repeating myself or the story itself, i wanted to keep all the situations fresh, and yes i'm running out of ideas too When i read the story from top to bottom, i realized i was losing the main point of this story, the why i wrote it... i'm an hopeless romantic, and even though i realize life's not always so sweet and *pink* i wanted to maintain a certain reality mixed with the «happy ever after» factor to it(even tough all this is just pure fiction) ... So i decided to end it... Since i never done anything even close to this before i feel happy that i did, for a talentless person like me, it's been quite a ride If i'll write anything else, i really don't know Probably not, but let's see what my head has reserved for me, she's always surprising myself Most of all let me thank you for reading, for all your opinions on it, and of course all your suport.. A big kiss :*

Here's chap 16... There's not much left for it to end... Here's the start of the end On our way to the Ryokan, I remembered Mina that I had to go real fast to the company I was supposed to have a meeting that afternoon, at least to give them an excuse about my disappearing, it was unprofessional on my part, to say the least… We departed for a while, Mina went straight to the Ryokan, and I went to the offices, it was only a small walk from one place to the other… “Mina I won’t be long, please make sure you prepare everything at the inn, I’ll join you in a bit…ok?” “Roger(smile)” That made me smile back… I was anxious, I couldn’t wait to have a relaxed, pleasant time with him, with no more setbacks, just me and him… As soon as I reached the main door at the office I was surprised by a very well known face, so well known it brought me back my sadness i was longing to forget… I just didn’t want to believe I was actually seeing it… “Just what the hell are you doing here…” “I was waiting for you… I called your office… They told me you’re coming here today, for a meeting…” “And just what are you pretending…?” “I’m taking you back Hana.” “Taking me back…?! Are you absolutely out of your mind…? I’m starting to get fed up of your stalking and abusive attitude… I believe I was completely understood the last time we spoke. It’s over! There’s nothing else to talk…Please go your way and let me be, once and for all…” Something wasn’t right… Shu’s eyes were pitch black, like an bottomless pit of twisted sad feelings… It was scaring me… I went straight to the counter where two ladies were staring both me and Shu with frightened eyes… “Ah, good evening, I’m Myaki Hana, I was supposed to meet Mr. Atsuki today, however I had a few problems with the car I came, and i got stuck in the snow until now. Could you please inform him, that I’ll contact him tomorrow to arrange a new meeting?” “Eh, certainly we shall pass him your message…” “Thank you very much!” “Please sir, excuse me for asking this but, do you know that person?” Her eyes turned to Shu’s figure, which was still looking straight at me. I felt my body freeze, just by the way he was looking at me… I turned to the girls again... “Hum…Yes, I do. Did he do something wrong?!” “Well… he didn’t sir but… he’s been here since really early today, and every time we ask him if he needs help he would just glare at us and said he was waiting for someone… Could it be you, the person he was expecting?” “I believe I am (sigh)… However he shouldn’t have come here to trouble you(polite smile), I am so sorry about all this, we will leave immediately, so don’t worry, he won’t bother you anymore.” “Sir, please forgive my boldness, but I’m not concerned about us, I’m concerned about you… I don’t think is a good idea to leave with him…” They have felt it as well… The dark aura around him, it was somewhat terrifying but I had to take him out of there.. And I knew Shu. He wouldn’t do anything. He was just pissed, and mad that things didn’t go his way and was venting his frustrations in everything and everyone surrounding him… “Please do not worry I’ll solve this… Good night!” “Are you sure, sir… I can call security…” “Please don’t, it won’t be necessary. I’ll be leaving with him then…(polite smile)” I left the two girls at the counter and made my way to meet Shu. I had to at least send him away or we would be in trouble… When I look back I saw one of the girls picking up the phone… Couldn’t manage to figure out was if she was answering it or calling someone… Either way I had to go and fast, if one of my colleagues saw me, it would be disastrous… “Let’s go…We’ll talk outside.” “We will leave…now… I want to stay with you for New Year’s like we used to do…” “Shu… Do you really not understand everything I told you so far?! I’m with Mina here… We are staying at the Ironi Ryokan… We’ll be together, and we will be celebrating New Year together… We had our share Shu, but we’re not together anymore… Please do understand this. I don’t really know what to tell you anymore…” “No… You’re mine… I’ll take you home now, and you’ll be with me… Do you understand me!! It’s you who don’t understand, I’ll take you back, and you’ll stay with me…” Briefly I sensed the smell of alcohol… He had been drinking, and he wasn’t himself… Even if he hurt me deeply, even if he made me completely trust him, only to betray me so many times, to leave me alone, when he endlessly promised me he wouldn’t, I couldn’t bring myself, at that time, to hate him… I sincerely pitied him, all his image right then made me feel so sad for him… All that I was once afraid, he was going thru them right now… Would I shed tears for his desperation, for his misfortune…?! My heart went small and ached… It could be me… I could be the one to suffer, to despair… But I had Mina… He saved me…I was blessed… Truly blessed… Not only I wasn’t alone, I was also loved… I understood Shu better than anyone… But why now?! It was late…No salvation was in hand for him… My eyes couldn’t control themselves… Painfully, pitifully… I mirrored Shu’s image in myself and couldn’t help but feel for him… “(cry) I’m sorry…I’m so sorry… (cry)But I’m happy now…Please don’t deny me all the happiness I’m having now…Because (cry) I’ve never been so happy… so truly happy… (cry)” I covered my eyes with my hands… I cleaned the pilling tears and looked back at Shu… Shu’s eyes somehow returned to their usual warmth, when we looked straight into each other eyes… I felt relieve… I felt it was my duty to take him out of that slump he was in… I was also at fault. I flaunted my happiness, and how great I was, right at his face, feeling no regret or sorry for him… I wanted it, I at first wanted him to know because I really wished for him to feel bad for all he did to me. But enough was enough… And it was time, to for him to leave for good… “You weren’t happy with me Hana…? Were you always hurting…?” And my heart squeezed again... “Not always Shu… (small smile) not always…” “Because we had good times too right, we did… I know we did…” “Yes… We did Shu. I won’t deny that, I loved you so very much, but… (Cry)” “I know… I know… (Sigh) I love you Hana…I’ m so sorry (cry) I love you so much… It’s killing me to let you leave… I know it's all my fault but...” “I left already Shu… You’re just not letting go of my ghost… And you have to… You won’t be happy like this…” “(Smile) Always so kind…” He looked at me, tenderly… I haven’t seen that look in so long… I was happy, that he loved me, truly I was, somewhere deep in my heart, the never healing scar he left me, was aching less now… “Can I hold you one last time Hana…?! My farewell?” “Shu…” “Please…Never to bother you again… One last time…” I took a step closer to him... and he reached me. That embrace was special… All our feelings for each other, just for a split second became a vivid image in my mind, all the good... all the bad… This was truly our farewell, our goodbye… I knew then, Shu would go back to his usual confident self, but he would never forget me, as I shall never forget about him… All there was between us…was now only a memory, which I would hold dear, all the good moments, the tenderness, the sweetness… All of it... “Thank you Hana… For everything i'm sorry (pained smile)” I didn’t manage to give him an answer… My throat was completely dry… It was impossible even to swallow… While looking at Shu’s back, I saw myself portrayed… I once looked like that, I once felt rejected and hurt like that… But I’m alive now… So will he be…soon...

I stood there, gaping. I told myself I wasn’t in any way gay but that slender pale body, with no imperfections, was making me question it over and over again. The boy faced me then, his expression unreadable. “I heard you were coming. I’ve been waiting.”, he said, his voice soft as a smile appeared on his thin lips. I couldn’t find any power in myself to even speak up. “So you are…?”, he asked, his voice barely more than a whisper. “I’m… June… June Harrington”, I managed to say. “June… Nice to meet you June, I am Laurel Ivanovo. You may call me just Laurel, if you want to”, he said, an evident innuendo on the last part. “Laurel…”, I murmured, his name sounding so foreign on my lips. He smiled again. It was such a warm smile. I found myself wanting to bury my whole being in him. Thoroughly shaking these thoughts away, I picked the robe on the bed and pulled it onto him. Laurel looked at me expectantly, as if searching for something, waiting for something. I could clearly see he was anxious. A nice shade of red colored his face. I took a step back, trying to keep my posture. “Young master Laurel, it is a pleasure to meet you. Where am I going to stay?”, I asked, trying my hardest to breathe normally. His smile vanished and his face became pale again. Yet his eyes still bore the same warmness. “You will be staying in the attic, just above my chambers.”, he said, pointing to the door on the far right corner. I nodded and picked my heavy bags, ready to get away from the boy. “I’ll help you.”, he offered. I didn’t complain but after walking only a few steps, Laurel dropped the bag he was trying to carry and fell on his knees. At that moment, the old lady entered the chambers. “Young master! Young master shouldn’t force himself too much! Young master could die!”, the woman cried, her arms flailing around frantically. As he got up, Laurel looked at her with disgust and shoved her aside. “It is none of your concern! Now get out. GET OUT!”, he roared. When the woman was finally gone, Laurel fell to his knees again. I quickly went to his side, trying my best not to rouse his fury onto me. “She seemed such a nice lady… why did you make her go away like that? She was only trying to help you.”, I asked, not quite knowing when had I started to talk. “She is nothing but a hindrance. And she knows very well that she must not get anywhere near my chambers. But forget that for now.”, he said, smiling at me again. There were so many things I wanted to ask him then but couldn’t find a way to do so. “I am sure you have many questions, but those will have to wait for another time. As you can see I cannot help you right now with your bags so if you’ll forgive me I’ll go to sleep now, tomorrow a new day will dawn.”, he answered my unvoiced thoughts. “Oh, and June”, he said, “Happy Birthday.” I slowly nodded and picked my bags, moving at a speedy pace. The place where I was staying looked like it had been recently cleaned. Some missing spots of dust remained here and there. All in all, it was a nice room. All the recent events were spinning in my head, making me dizzy and confused. There was something suspicious about the whole situation, something I couldn’t quite understand yet. When I managed to get things decently settled for the day, I fell onto my bed. A deep dreamless slumber claimed me not very long after.

We were finally arriving. Someone shook me softly, bringing me back to my senses as the car was parked. Mister Reignard, the old policeman, helped me get my heavy bags and walked me up to a big ancient looking mansion. It was quite an unusual place to live in. The mansion looked positively like a sort of castle, in the middle of the woods, far from a nearby city or village. It had this medieval feeling about it and it made me inhale sharply. “Here we are, kid. This will be your new home.”, he announced the obvious. I suppose it was meant to be some kind of comfort but it only added to my worries. What was that place? What kind of family would live in such an isolated area? I could feel familiar chills. The front door, its wood old and worn out, slowly opened, the creepiest sound you can imagine coming from the poorly oiled ironmongery. From behind the door came a tall figure of an old woman. I could feel the smell of honey clinging on her invading my nostrils. It was, to say the least, nauseating. “Hello, Miss Crawley.”, he greeted. “Hello there. The masters are away so I’ll be taking the boy now. Young master will be pleased to meet young mister...”, the elderly woman started, looking at me with curious eyes. “Mister Harrington.” I looked at her, trying to search for any clues in her that would tell me of the household awaiting me. She was very old, her skin and silver hair the evident proof. She seemed to be dressing nothing more than rags. Yet her blue eyes made me feel calm, strangely calm. “Well this is it, kid. Take good care of yourself and behave.”, mister Reignard said, pushing me forward. “Let’s go now, young mister Harrington. Young master will be expecting your arrival.” I was led into the immense household. The inside, I must admit, was simply marvelous. The walls were richly adorned with jewelry and gold; here and there curtains could be seen, made of the finest of tissues; portraits without end covered the otherwise empty spots on the walls. There were so many candles. I wondered why electricity wasn’t used. I went up a huge stairway. On every turn a new set of corridors and doors came into view. It was at the very top of the chairs that I saw an open door. “Young master will be waiting in there. Off you go, lad.”, the old lady said, pointing at the room ahead. She left me there, staring at the opened door. Slowly, step by step, I entered the mysterious chamber. I was greeted then by the strangest of sights. In front of me was a boy, perhaps younger than me, I couldn't quite tell, completely naked in the candlelight, his hair as white as if made of the purest snow. He was sitting on a majestic bed, his back to me.

Boys..... :8onion74:

Well here goes nothing Story status : Well Hana found out Shu was betraying him, and still at the bar he's so drunk he needs the help of Mina, a dancer at that same bar... But now Hana is better, and has to face everything that has happend to him... So what will he do? Hope you enjoy. Spell – Chapter 2 While I was standing behind the stage, I watched all his performance… There weren’t words good enough to describe it. How could something so beautiful be made by a person, I wondered… “I have a boyfriend right now…Do I really want to do this? Am I this kind of person? Yes, he is unbelievable, so much that I don’t trust my eyes right now but…did I really mean it? No…. I didn’t, and since I became a bit sober I should apologize for my behavior and go home… I would work things out with Shu.” Or better settle them once and for all. I won’t let this continue, this miserable life, this empty feeling hovering on me every second of every day… Enough was enough and things would end between us tonight. I finally stoop up, and went to find the ”dancing man” (jeez i didn’t even know his name, how embarrassing)… I went to met him, and he was talking to someone. I got a little closer, I was so ashamed with myself that my face felt like was it was being cooked inside out… “Ok…relax, say hello, say sorry for everything and thank you….and then go home. Ok this is a good plan, sigh…” When I almost got by his side I recognized the person he was talking to. Shu was standing there holding the other guy’s hand, talking to the dancer, he seemed to be praising him. Then the other guy also shook the dancer hand and they left after only a few seconds. I stood there watching the all scene, like a movie…unable to do or say anything. It was nerve racking…”Just calm down…one thing at the time.” I took 2 steps forward and he looked back at me with that same dazzling smile of his. “I there…Feeling better now? Do ya need a cab or I could walk ya home if you’re still not ok?!” I thought about it again…Having the possibility of having him seemed almost too good(or not, maybe he wasn’t gay right…I just assumed that due to his work place…I could be wrong). “Stop it, just stop it” I thought to myself, I got have a hold on my feelings and this is not the best way… “Thank you so much for today, you really helped me out…”I smiled shyly…I didn’t want him to see my face, I was probably horrible from all that crying so I kept my head down. “I’m so sorry for causing a commotion here, I was just feeling a little down and I kind of drank too much…so I’m really sorry for that. Hum, you don’t need to bother about me now, I’m fine so I’m heading home while I’m feeling better…” I turned around so I could leave, but he grabbed one of my hands. “So you would just leave without even telling me you’re name cutie?” “Ahah, cutie yeah right...”-I managed to say-“but thanks anyway…” I extended my other hand. “I’m Hana.” Just when I thought he was going to shake mine he pulled my entire arm to himself, holding my waist he took my lips without giving me a chance to back away… “I’m Mina. Nice to meet ya Hana” He licked the top of my mouth once again and gave that killer smile, his voice was soft velvet in my ears, all of my neck hair stood up… The balance I was so strongly trying to keep broke and I almost hit the floor. Knees shaking, head spinning… Was all of this for real?! I broke his embrace and gave some distance between us… There was no way I wouldn’t give in if he so much touched the tip of my finger… It was such an arousing feeling, that all parts of my body were pleading for. “What the hell you think you’re doing mister?” “Well that was my thank you gift…” He joked. “I don’t think I ever gave you permission for such, and I already thanked you for everything, so there was really no need for you to do that…” “I just felt like it…You’re so cute” he teased. “I’m…wha…well goodbye.” That one got me that’s for sure… I turned around the fastest I could, but my feet were still deceiving me. Trying to keep my balance on alcohol and such an excited state was no good to keep my body moving accordingly to the way I wanted it. I rushed thru the door… I was able to feel the cold air outside, and my head became clearer. I heard footsteps behind me. “Hey ya sure you don’t need me to walk ya home… I really don’t mind ya know.” “I’m positive. Good night.” I went my way… I don’t know why but I still glanced behind for a long time, until I could no longer see him. Gosh I hoped he didn’t saw me looking at him like an idiot. Soon, as I was walking the important issue came to my mind. After all that has happened tonight I still have to go home, and have a life changing moment. Tonight was final. Tonight I would let him go. The thought of regret started building inside of me, but I couldn’t realize if I was regretting the situation I was about to face, or the fact that I didn’t do it earlier. Do I really love him? At that point I wasn’t so sure anymore. The sense of freedom became a scary feeling, I didn’t want to spend my life alone… Alone… That thought brought me back to old memories. To the time we swore to never let go of each others hands. To the time we picked our house, to the time I bought him a hideous sweater that he hated but told me he loved it because I gave it to him… “Oh god… I’m breaking breaking inside.” Every step I took towards that door brought me a memory, and every memory brought me even more pain… “What did I do wrong…? Where did I fail you…? I only took time loving you and you go and do something like this to me….You promised (sob)…Ya prom (sob)….” “I HATE YOU…I HATE YOU FROM MAKING ME FEEL THIS WAY…” My knees gave away and I fell on the snow covered floor crying… I stood there for what it looked like an eternity. My body was frozen from standing for too long on top of the snow. At least all the things I remembered we’re good, and that gave me strength to lift my head and walk the rest of the way… I was now standing in my front door, hand on the knob… Too scared to open it. But I had to. I took a deep breath and I walked in.