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You revel in the misfortunes that beheld me You embrace me with your sympathy You make me forget what I used to be Then you slap me with your anxiety I frown at your face so giving Confused by the messages I am receiving Try to confront the old nightmares growing Your image of warmth quickly disappearing I try to reach you and you would give your hand But then I still would not understand Your voice, this heart is blown away like the sand I want to love you like I should Give all the things I have that I could But despite all that I still feel fooled For all the love I had before For all the pain I bore from that I just could not bear it once more It's all that I've got You hate me now for my pain It's easy to put the blame on me But you were never there To live this long with this insanity Is it over now between you and me Should I hold on to memories Or let you go and set us free? [Author notes: My first non-BL poetry posted here but I wrote this years ago. This is the first time I am publishing this. This poem was inspired from a difficult and very possessive relationship I had with someone. Believe it or not, I was the one treated like a possession.]

I used yojinchan's poem for backgroud... it in Yojichan poem Confusing... I didn't feeling well so I only did 2 this morning... --;;; 1 D.Gray Man... 1 Fullmetal Alchemist by InariyaFusanosuke... Enjoy! ^^

With out you permision... I did it again... ^^;;; My feeling for the poem with this... I alway want to do one with the background still... I hope you like it! ^^

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VII Back to college I tried to get back to normal. I put Paul’s existence at the back of my mind and tried to act as if nothing had happened. Back to classes I faced my other problem, Thomas. He was waiting for me at the door of my class. I felt how my body got tense, a light sweat drop fell down my spine, I wasn’t prepared yet, but I was determined to change my life, the way I was, l wanted to leave worries behind and enjoy my school life . I took a deep breath and went to him. - Hi, cutie, where have you been? He said - At home, something came up and I had to go. What do you want? - I missed you; he was whispering at my ear, I can’t wait to meet you at your lovely, secret corner. I couldn’t explain what I felt, I wasn’t scared, I was angry, I was desperate to get rid of my feelings for Paul, I thought that maybe he would erase the frustration I was feeling since I met him at home. I was so angry with him. Who was he to yell at me like that? What made him think he had the right to reproach me what I did or not? Why the hell did I told him about Thomas? I was stupid, stupid, stupid of me! I’ve lost him forever. - Patrick?? Patrick? - What? I’ll see you after lunch. I left him standing there, speechless, eyes wide open. I couldn’t concentrate, I couldn’t eat, I was thinking only in what was going to happen later. I started to convince myself that Thomas would make me feel better, so I prepared myself for him. - You’re already here! Good boy! Where you that anxious to meet me? Where your body expecting my touch? - I don’t need to talk, I told him, getting closer to him, touching his hair without looking in his eyes. I just need you to hold me, to make me forget. - Forget him? I can do that and even more. I can make you depend on me, only want me, only think on me. Is that what you want? - No, I just want you to hold me every time I ask you and nothing else. I couldn’t believe what I was saying, what was happening to me? When did become this type of person? My heart ached so much, I felt it empty, my body numb, my hands cold. - That’s ok with me, but in exchange, you’ll have sex only with me, you have to forget him and… - Don’t talk anymore; I said putting one of my fingers in his lips, I could feel his warm breath interrupted by the tip of his tongue licking my second phalanx; I already prepared myself for it. I want to forget him; I want to forget his face. I said trying not to cry. He started to caress my hair, went down to my face, he got even closer, I could feel his breath warming me up. His fingers running up and down my neck and left shoulder. I shivered. He suddenly took my hand and softly said to me: - You know that one of the most sensitive and erotic places in our body are the finger tips? He took my fingers and one by one started to lick them slowly, staring at me with a half, mischievous smile. I started to feel a fire on my body. I felt his tongue going round the tip of my forefinger. Suddenly he started to thrust my finger into his mouth. I trembled at the sensation of my wet finger into his mouth. - Can you feel it, Patrick? Does it feel good? It’s a new sensation. I couldn’t answer, just nodded. I just let him made me what he wanted. I started to feel turned on when he put his other hand in my lower part and stated caressing it. I did the same. He jolted in surprise, giggled and told me to lie down. I lay down`, breathing hardly in anticipation, without opposing him, just with the flow. He started to unbutton my shirt, , kissed my collar bone, then licking the line of it with the tip of his tongue, went down leaving a track from my neck to my chest, licked my left nipple taking his time, making sure that I was enjoying it while pinching the right one. I grasped the grass round me. It felt so damn good. He went down running his tongue through my stomach, following the lines of my abs. - You’re a hottie, ummm, you have a very nice body, cutie, very nice. I grabbed his hair, looked at him and directed him to my lower part. I just didn’t want to lose my time with his flatteries. I was so turned on, I felt the urge to do it.”Just shut up and do what you have to do” I thought. I closed my eyes, chocked back my tears and said: - Just enter me, I said, hardly breathing, just hurry up, please. - No, I’ll hurt you, you need to be prepared - Just do it, I don’t mind you hurting me, I just want to feel it. I don’t want to feel this shit inside my head. Please, make me forget So he did. He entered me. It was very painful but I I wanted to feel that pain. Gradually he started to move slowly while kissing me. I put my arms round his back raising my back. I felt him deeper inside me, he also was breathing with difficulty, but we were both in ecstasy, my nails in his back. - Patrick, I can’t refrain myself, I’m going to start to move more quickly. You’ve to tell me if it hurts, but if you do what I say, you’ll have the greatest time, I hold myself tighter to his neck, I’d follow all his instructions, the only thing I wished was to get rid of my thoughts. - OK, I said panting, do it (pant, pant) do it now! - What is it, Patrick? Have you been wanting me this much? He laugh - In your dr… (I felt a strong thrust) dreams. I couldn’t believe I became such a cold person; anger and pain were making me be someone else. He suddenly raised one of my legs up to his shoulder and the other round his waist. Oh my goodness! How was so much pleasure possible? He increased the rhythm, making sure to follow the rhythm of my breath. I was hardly breathing, turned my face to avoid his eyes staring me. He grabbed my face and said: - Look at me, cutie, I want to see your face, look at me, don’t think in anything or anyone. Just look at me. I looked at him, those intense green eyes looking at me full of desire. They were so captivating that I felt trapped in them. The pleasure increased as he put my two legs round his waist and started to slowly stroke my cock. I was ready to cum... - Not yet, dear, he whispered to me, I want to cum with you and I’m not ready yet. So he kept thrusting, I was going insane, I was losing the sense of reality, I was like in heaven and left my mind run free, I felt Paul’s hands caressing me, I felt Paul’s voice calling my name, I felt Paul’s warmth in my mouth while kissing me. His soft tanned skin, his strong arms round my waist, his tongue searching my tongue… - Paul, I whispered I suddenly felt a strong thrust which provoked a lot of pain - Damn bastard! Were you thinking on him while fucking with me??!!!!

VI It felt a bit weird to be back home. I was happy to see my family but a bit anxious to see Paul. I went to his house, he was at the backyard playing with his ball. It was the only thing I hated about him, his passion for football, I could remember every occasion he “dumped” me because of a football match he played or wanted to watch. He left the ball at the very first sight of me, ran to me and embraced me. - Patrick! Patrick thanks God you’re here! I needed you so much! My heart jumped out o my chest. I’ve waited so long for this. I tried to keep my head cool, those words didn’t mean love and Thomas was stuck on my head, his scent still pervaded in me. . I’m very sorry, Paul, very sorry for your grandpa. I know how much your mom and you loved him. Paul’s dad died when Paul was five and his grandpa had always taken care of him. His mom was alone in England. She met Paul’s father in Okinawa where she taught Nanban-yaki technique to make ceramic pots. They fell in love and she left everything and came to live to England. Paul’s grandfather taught her English and she taught him ceramics. She was beloved by her father-in-law. Paul had few Japanese features. Although his hair was jet black and he had almond-shaped eyes, they were turquoise blue, which made him outstand from the rest of us and made me feel common. Our friends use to said that we were the ying–yang because he was dark haired with blue eyes and I was extremely blond with hazel eyes, because he was tempered and I was calm and also because I wanted to go to University and he wanted to be a sport trainer. I always thought that the fact that he was straight and I was gay made us both sides of a coin. He always wanted to be a strong boy, he didn’t cry when his father died, he didn’t do it when he was bullied first year of high school, and this time too, I knew he wanted to cry, to give his sorrow a way but he didn’t do it if I was staring at him so he laid his head on my shoulder and started to sob. What a nice feeling was this, be close enough to him to feel his warm breath on my neck, his hips next to my hips, his hand touching my leg. Without realizing, I felt aroused. - What’s wrong Patrick? He asked me - Nothing, I said, clearing my throat. I felt uncomfortable, because I had to repress my desire for him. I wanted to grab him, push him on the floor, kiss him and tell him that I always would love him not matter what. - Don’t lie to me, I know something has happen to you, I can read it on your face, you’ve got dark circles on your eyes and you avoid my eyes. What’s wrong? - Noothing, I repeated, I came here to comfort you, not the other way round. Besides, nothing important happened to me. I met someone I finally didn’t like. - You finally met a hot chick, Pat? Who’s she? Is she hot? A brunette? - No, it’s not a girl, it’s an upperclassman, his name is Thomas and he wants to be a History teacher. - Just like you, Pat, and what happened? - Nothing, I lied. I tried to get some distance between Paul and me because I felt a little tremble just remembering the sex we had. I felt hot again and I wanted to leave before Paul realized it. But he had already noticed and grabbing my shoulder he asked me: - Has something happened between you two? Has he hurt you? Is he bullying you? - Umm, I can’t tell you Paul, it isn’t really important. It’s over and I came to know about you and your mom. - Pat, he said with a soft voice I couldn’t resist, don’t lie to me, I know you, tell me what happened or I’ll break your arm. He called me Pat when he wanted something for me, when we had serious conversations. He grabbed my arm and turned to my back, I screamed a bit in pain, he was so close I could hear his heart beat, his pulse. I felt my heart jumping o n my chest. I knew that If I didn’t do anything I’ll tell him and I didn’t want him to know I was gay or that I had sex with a man for the first time. I didn’t want to tell him that I had felt the maximum pleasure with a man who wasn’t him even though I always knew that Paul would never had those kinds of feelings for me. - It’s really nothing Paulie, let me be, you’re hurting me and I don’t want to fight. Just release my arm. - Did that man touch you?? - What??? What are you talking about? A man? I was panicking; I had to get out there at that very moment. - You thought that I was stupid. You think that after so many years of friendship I wouldn’t know you don’t like girls. I didn’t know what to do, he knew! What would happen if he also knew that I loved him? Would he stop being my friend? Would he feel disgusted? - So? What is it you want to know, Paul? If I’m gay (my knees were going to melt , my arms were shaking and my voice trembled) - Are you? Have you been lying to me all this time? - What? I didn’t have to tell you, that’s way too personal and is not as if you asked and I lied. Besides is none of your business - So, you are gay! he was like crazy, you had sex with that man??? Did you enjoy it, bastard? - So what??!!! I cried, what If I did it, what If I’m gay!! It’s none of your business, Paul. I never said a word about all the girls you hooked with, I never got upset because you were changing girlfriend or just had sex with someone you just knew. I never, never…. - Never what Pat??? Never complained about my sex life? So what? You didn’t care, but I do, did YOU or didn’t YOU have sex with that man???!! I’m not asking you again, Pat, tell me the truth right now!!! - YES, YES!!! I did and it was my first time and he gave me pleasure, and I liked it but I regretted it because it wasn’t y…. I stopped talking when I saw Paul’s face and the painful look in his eyes, some tears started to fall down, I couldn’t stand his sad face so I ran away. I kept myself at home the following day telling my mom I felt sick. I knew I was a coward but I couldn’t face Paul now he knew everything. Next day, I went back to college without saying him goodbye.

V My blood started to boil. “Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God” I thought. He started to lick my nipples and it jolted my whole body. I tried to fight back again but I was amaze of how strong he was. - Just relax, Patrick, he whispered, it’s going to be fun, you’ll feel good, he said biting my lobe, you’ll love it and I want you to experience this with me and no one else. I couldn’t say anything; he opened my trousers and slipped his hand inside my trunks. A shiver ran through my body. I was really scared, despite all the pleasant sensations I was feeling. It was the first time someone was touching me; it was the first time a MAN was touching me. Regardless I have felt desire for Paul every time I saw him playing football with his t-shirt off or were watching a movie and he fall sleep on my shoulder; I ‘ve never felt what I was feeling right now. I felt like light electric currents running through my spine up to my head; I felt like all my sense were concentrated on one specific part of my body. Suddenly my body started to respond and my breath was unsteady. It was such a nice feeling I couldn’t resist it. Thomas kissed me gently first and then passionately, exploring my mouth, biting my lower lip and suddenly I notice I was kissing him back which aroused him even more. So he went down kissing my chest, my belly till reaching my hips, he spread my legs and concentrated on my most sensitive part at that moment. After a while, that for me was like an eternity, I cum, he looked at me, smiled and kissed me gently. - Now that I have you, I’ll never let you go, he whispered I laid face down, blushing and feeling so embarrassed that I couldn’t face him. What had he done to me? And In the open air at college??!! What’d happened if someone saw us? He kissed the back of my neck and said: - We’ll leave when you’re ready - Can you leave first, please… my voice sounded like I wanted to cry, in fact, that’s all I wanted to do, cry. - It’s ok, Pat, I know you feel embarrassed but get used to it, because I intend to do it every time I feel it. - Leave me alone, Thomas, never touch me again, never get close to me again. I need to be alone just now. Leave me alone!!!!! I cried, crying like a little boy…. .-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.- I didn’t go to college for a couple of days, I couldn’t face my classmates and I definitely couldn’t meet Thomas. I didn’t know what he had done to me, but I felt hot everywhere he had touched me and every time I thought about it. During those days, I received a short letter from Paul. His grandpa has died. “Dear Patrick: I’m so sorry for all the things I told you last time we saw each other, I wish I could take them back. My grandpa died last week, you know how attached I was to him. I’m very sad Patrick. I missed and needed you. I wish you could be here with me”

Next chapt out of the oven... hehe Just tell me what you think, ok?! IV We didn’t see each other for few weeks. I heard he was on a trip to Shenzhen, he wanted to specialize in Oriental Cultures, so I was at ease. I had found a nice corner in the campus, quite enough to read and have lunch without no one round. I started to spend all my free time there, at lunch and between lessons. My classmates always asked me to have lunch together but I always refused, I preferred to be alone with my books and thoughts. Thursdays were my most quiet days, I only had few classes so between them I spent my time in my secret corner. One day, I fall sleep reading the papers for one of my lessons. “One cannot lose what one has not possessed. So much for that abrasive gem I can lose what I want. I want you” I felt a very soft low voice whispering in my ear, was I dreaming? I was half sleep and so tired I didn’t want to open my eyes. I loved that part of Geoffrey Hill’s poem. It felt so nice feeling the warm of the Autumn sun on my face, that soft voice, those kisses, what a nice dream. Kisses on my cheek, on my neck… Wait! Kisses on my neck were real! I suddenly opened my eyes and saw him kissing me. - What the hell are you doing???!!! I cried - You were so tempting, with your cute sleeping face, you were so peacefully dreaming that I couldn’t avoid it. - And… and how did you know that poem? Why were you reciting it? - Oh… umm… well, I saw you one day at the library with one of Hill’s volumes and I had a look. I liked the poem so I memorized it. Your sleeping face inspired it. “ I can lose what I want, I want you” I like that last verse… I burst out laughing, Thomas stepped back. - You think it’s funny? His smile had disappeared - No, no sorry, I said laughing, it’s just that I’m not used to these things and didn’t expect it either. I took a deep breath, stopped laughing and seriously told him: - I’m sorry, Thomas, truly sorry, but don’t do those things, less to sleepy people. - What? You think I do this to anyone? It’s just you, Patrick, he was staring at me, serious look in his eyes. An alarm started to ring on my head, telling me to run away before making a big mistake. I wanted to run away, what was happening here? How my peaceful afternoon was turning this way? Was this the perfect man? The brilliant student? I felt a knot on my throat. - Well thanks for the poem and the nice awakening, I got to go now He, then, once more told me… - I told you it wasn’t going to be easy, Patrick He pushed me and I fell on my back, he grabbed my hands above my head, damn God, he was really strong. I started to panic, what did he want? What was going to happen to me? My body got rigid, I tried to fight, I tried to push him away. - Thomas , stop it please, it’s not funny anymore, I begged - Who said I was joking. Since the first I saw you, I wanted to have you - What??? I didn’t do anything - Really think so? You must be more concerned to the faces you make when you’re lost and I couldn’t stand the face you showed when you’re best friend came to the conversation at the food shop. A felt a fire inside of me… He licked the tip of my nose, it was ticklish, he licked the inside of my upper lip, went down to my neck, un buttoned my shirt… Oh, my goodness! I thought, is this for real???!!!

And... chapt III, Will Patrick find out more about the brilliant handsome student??? III My first week passed, no pain, no glory. I spent my first weekend alone, no family, no friends. I was feeling lonely and started to think of Paul so to avoid it I went for a walk and do some shopping. I stopped at a Japanese bento shop to buy my lunch. As I was coming out someone patted my head. I raised my sight and there he was, the brilliant handsome student. -Hi there, how are you doing? I hope it wasn’t a tough week. - Hello, I said astonished. He remembered me? I wanted to thank you but didn’t know who you were and couldn’t find you. - That’s true, well… I’m Thomas and you are? . I’m Patrick, very nice to meet you. I’m a first year student - Really? I’m on my third one… -I know you’re a brilliant student admired by everyone… - And what are you doing here? - Oh! Umm... I was bored wandering around, I found that Japanese shop and bought some lunch - You like Japanese food? He said while chewing one of my sushi pieces - Oh yes! I love it. My best friend mom’s is Japanese so I frequently eat it, well… used to eat it… - Umm, best friend uh? What happened, he broke your heart? - I beg your pardon? Why was he asking me that? We just met, I didn’t want to talk about Paul. I still felt sad and missed him, so I tried to dodge the question and leave him before being impolite. -Well, nice to meet you, I got to go, see you round… As I started to walk away from him, he suddenly grabbed my arm and told me -Eh! That’s a bit rude of you, don’t you think?, leaving me alone even when I helped you I blushed at the look of his face, he has a mischievous smile. He pressed my arm harder and pushed me towards him and licked my upper lip bitting it later. - You think is that easy? You’d say “thanks” and that’s all, he whispered softly, huskily in my ear. A shiver went all over my spine. What the hell did he want from me?

Here comes chapter II, I think, I tried to introduce all the character. Hope you enjoy it... II A month passed since that day and there I were wandering round looking for class II-C. - Oh my goodness! Where the hell is this class- I sighed - You should follow that corridor to the end, turn right and it’s the second door on the left I turned my head and all I saw was a dazzling in a very beautiful face talking to me. A tall, well-built young man with green eyes, light brown hair, carrying a thick blue folder. - Sorry, I said - Never mind, I’ll take to your class, you’re doing Anthropology with Mr. Anderson, right? - Yes, I answered, wondering why he knew my classes - Good! He’s very good at teaching, you’ll learn a lot. - Umm, umm, thank you, I answered while following him… - Aha! Perfect timing, your mates are already in and Mr. Anderson is coming. I was left there still in surprise and when I reacted he was already leaving. - What’s your name??!!! I shouted in the middle of the class, everybody looking at me and my face ready to explode of embarrassment. - I’m…. But it was too late, a roar of chairs made impossible to hear his name and the teacher was calling for our attention. I spent the rest of my first day from class to class, meeting teacher, classmates and taking notes. At lunchtime, we were having some bites at the crowded cafeteria. While having lunch, I could have a glimpse of the handsome student who helped me find my class, I wanted to thank him but I didn’t know his name, I waved but he didn’t see me - Who are you looking for? Asked one of my new classmates. Her name was Oxana, a beautiful girl from Bulgary. - Oh! That boy there helped me this morning and I just wanted to say thanks. - Who? Thomas? Thomas Cowan- Stuart? - You… you know him, I said in surprise, he’s kind of famous round here? - Everybody knows him. He’s in his third year, he’s one of the most brilliant students and all the teacher want him as assistant - He’s unreachable, said Oxana, both for girls and boys… He’s so commited with his career, that he barely has friends. I’ve heard he has been in many OIriental countries, he loves their cultures, he even speaks fluent Chinese. It’s the perfect man. I felt a bit disappointed, a perfect man…

Original name: Mawaru Sekai no Kimi to Boku Manga ALT. names: Hitomi no Ori, Lucky Item, Masaka no Futari, You and I of the Revolving World, Mawaru Sekai no Kimi to Boku Original run: 2010 Description: 1. Mawaru Sekai no Kimi to Boku When they were very young, Keito and Tomoya made a promise to be together forever, but after Tomoya disappeared one morning, Keito lost his faith in people. Years later in high school, Tomoya makes a sudden return, but now Keito's no longer a cute little kid Tomoya seems to have forgotten who he is! 2. Masaka no Futari High-school student Akito is too cute! So cute that he's been traumatized by attackers both male and female. When Akito's mother convinces laid back college student Kunugi to tutor him, is Akito destined to be attacked again? Or is Kunugi really just a nice guy? 3. Lucky Item Yazawa Shizuma, receives a visit one night from a middle school classmate, Hanai. Hanai is running from debt collectors and needs someone to take care of his son, Hanai Souta. What will happen between these two? Maizuru from Yubisaki no Koi makes a guest appearance in this story. 4. Hitomi no Ori When he was small, Ran was found at the brink of death by Byakuroku-sama, a non-human man with beautiful eyes. Byakuroku-sama now employs Ran as a jack-of-all-trades, often undertaking dangerous missions and depending heavily on his loyalty. What happens when that loyalty comes into question? 5. Hitomi dj - Sakayume no Niwa Ran has a dream in which Byakuroku vanishes into thin air and only bones remain. Even knowing it was a dream, he can't just help being worried. Will the dream become reality...? Manga-type: Manga Series Written by: Naono Bohra Group(s) Scanlating: Dangerous Pleasure, Nakama, Naono Holics Status: Completed Genres: Drama, Historical, Romance, School Life, Supernatural, Yaoi Categories: Love Triangle; Demons; Age-gap; First Love Main Characters: 1) Keito, Tomoya 2) Akito, Kunugi 3) Yazawa Shizuma, Hanai Souta 4+5) Ran, Byakuroku Recommendations: Daikirai na Aitsu!, Hard Core Heart, Happy Yarou Wedding, 35 Degrees Fahrenheit of Love Download Mawaru Sekai No Kimi To Boku Manga Here More manga series by Naono Bohra For download re-upload requests, post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

Title: Bi no Isu Author: IKE Reibun Summary: Kabu and Nirasawa have a troubled relationship, to say the least. Harsh yakuza lifestyle, torture, and violent sex are everyday occurrences for the volatile couple. Related Series: Kobi no Kyoujin (Sequel) Genre: Adult Drama Yaoi Yakuza Year: 2008 Status: 1 Volume (Complete) Download link removed by scanlator's request Read Bi no Isu Online Bi no Isu More manga series by Ike Reibun

Summary: A love triangle between, the selfish Paul, who wanted to possess Patrick without admiting his love for him, the coward Patrick, unable to declare his love for Paul and the determined Thomas who wins Patrick's heart. Status: Complete Right this is my second try, I'm trying to make it longer. It's hard for me bec I'm very impatient, so be nice, hehe Critics are allowed, ideas on the plot too.. Hope you ejoy it. ch. I University was opening before me. I had worked so hard and I was going to be there… My college was such a huge building with so many aisles, departments, doors, people wandering round, young people like me feeling insecure, feeling that an enormous new world was opening form them. I was quite excited. I was the first member of my family going to University and even my little sister was telling her friends. So there I was, trying to stay calm, find my class and start my new life as University student. I left my old Patrick behind the doors of my high school with Paul still lingering on my mind. He stopped talking to me because of all the changes happening to me. We were childhood friends; we accepted each other the way we were. He was my best friend and I have loved him so much during the last five years. I had to endure all his girlfriends, his affairs. I was heartbroken but happy to fulfill one of my dreams and he ruined my little happiness calling me egoist because I wasn’t going to the Technical School with him. How I could? I just wanted to fall apart and start again. - Traitor!! He called me - What?! , come on Paul, what are you talking about? - Your mom… your mom told me you’ve received your admission letter yesterday! Are you going to the Uni???When were you telling me???!!!! Is that true? - It’s true- I tried to stay calm because I had lot of things to tell him before leaving. - But…. But we were supposed to go together to the Tech School; we were supposed to be always together. I tried to calm down myself before speaking to that handsome playboy who was yelling at me like a child. - Listen, I have to do this, I WANT to do this and you’d support me as my best friend. Please, Paul, be happy for me, I’ve been there for you always, the football team! I ran with you, I trained with you, I suffered with you, so Paul…. - No! I refuse! You selfish bastard, you’re leaving town without telling me! At that moment the only thing I wanted to do was to cuddle him in my arms, kiss his tears of rage away and tell I wasn’t going anywhere. I get closed to him and told him: - Come on Paul, you’re grown enough to cry. I’m sorry, call me what you want but I’m gonna do this... - Don’t come near me, bloody selfish, don’t touch me, and don’t talk to me ever! He ran away down the street shouting:”traitor, damn egoist, selfish, I hate you and you’ll regret it all your life…” I was left there and back home his words were resounding on my head again and again but I was sure I had to do it…..

Summary: The continuation of Kenta's and Ryuu's love stories as well as their friends adventures and misfortunes. Status: Complete Chapter 1 Games Kenta “No, I don't want that there.” I ran a hand through my hair trying my fucking best not to smack the shit out of the man. Why couldn't they follow the simplest directions? I'd decided that moving was not worth the hassle. No fucking way it was worth days of moving things around and unpacking. It didn't help that my wonderful, if somewhat spoiled, boyfriend had went out and bought all new furniture. I'd gotten along for years with nothing but a futon and some boxes of clothes. “Put it along the wall there.” I pointed to the spot and watched the men wrestle the dresser into place. It was nice looking, I had to admit that. I'd never in my life owned anything remotely this nice. Except my motorcycle. I took a moment to glance around what was going to be our bedroom. I felt my mouth lift in a smirk as I looked at the giant four poster bed. Gonna have some fun on that. Well, when the idiot doc said I could. Fuck it to hell. There was a loud thud and a string of cuss words from down the hall. Shaking my head I went to see what had happened. “You broke it!” “I so sorry, I didn't see it.” That was coming from what was going to be the band's practice room. Peering inside I saw the drummer Hasu, fists clenched at his sides as he faced one of the movers. I lunged forward just in time to grab Hasu before he attacked the poor guy. “Let go Kenta!” He flailed against me and I suddenly realized that I wasn't as strong as I'd been. So I let him go and grabbed his hair instead to keep him in place. He yelped, but the pain seemed to drain away some of his anger. I shook him slightly as he tried to turn and look at me. “What tha fuck are you doin', Hasu?” I growled and let him go. He rubbed his head and shrugged, not looking at me. “He stepped on my drum.” He gestured behind him and I glanced at the now ruined drum and the very sorry looking mover. “Ain't like he did it on purpose Hasu.” “I-I know . . . I'm sorry. I just . . .” he shook his head and I saw tears on his cheeks. “Fuck Hasu . . . don't do this. We'll get you another drum. Why don't you go find Sora, it's about lunch time and I'll get us some food, okay?” I took him gently by the arm and lead him out of the room. Hasu and I had been friends before everything, but now we were even closer. He'd been kidnapped, beaten and threatened with rape. I had to give the kid a break for being upset that his drums were fucked. “I know you are still dealing with stuff, but you can't take out your anger on other people, Hasu.” “Now you sound like Sora.” He pouted, but didn't pull away. “I'm sorry. I didn't mean to lose my temper like that, but . . .” “It's alright, you don't gotta explain.” I squeezed his arm lightly before letting go. I understood all too well exactly what he meant. “Maybe later this week you and I could spar a bit.” He glanced at me the dark eyes wide. “Y-you sure? Did the doctor clear you for that kind of stuff already.” I shook my head. “Nah, but we'll take it easy.” He nodded slowly before stopping and giving me a quick hug. I could tell he was careful not to hug me as tight as he used to. It made me kinda sad. Then again it had only been three weeks since my old cellmate had tried to kill me. Had it really been three weeks already? Sometimes, it felt like yesterday. Those were never good times. After settling things with the foreman about the cost of the drum I looked around wondering what to tackle next as I stood in the living room. I realized I was rubbing my wrist and looked down. The rope burns were gone as were the bruises. I still had stitches in sensitive spots, but the doctor said I was healing good. It could have been worse. I shuddered, then jumped slightly as strong warm arms wrapped around my middle and I was pulled back against a lean solid body. “You alright? You were doing it again.” Ryuu's voice breathed into my ear. I nodded, leaning back into him. “I'm fine. Hasu's upset.” “Yeah I heard the yelling, that's why I came upstairs.” Soft lips brushed my ear and he kissed my neck. “Ryuu.” “I know, I know but who cares if there are people here. I've missed you.” “It's been less than an hour Ito.” “So . . .” I sighed, unable to help the smile as I turned to face him. “You are such a fucking weirdo.” He tapped my nose as he grinned down at me and I felt a chill run through me. It still amazed me that he'd not only asked me back but to move in with him. “Ah, but I am your weirdo, Ken-chan.” “Don't call me chan.” I tried to glare at him but then he leaned down and kissed me. Not a quick peck but a slow gentle yet very seductive kiss. By the time we parted I was breathing hard and trying to figure out how to keep anyone from seeing my boner. “Fu-fuck Ryuu . . .” “Mmm yes please. Maybe once everything is put away we can make that new bed really ours.” He pulled me into a hug and I felt him laugh. “Shall we go in the bathroom and take care of your problem?” That was when I noticed the men staring at us. “Fuck off or I ain't gonna fucking pay your lazy asses!” Ryuu just chuckled and kissed my forehead which got him a glare. “You are so adorable when you get all bossy.” “You know how I feel about people wa-mmff-” I shoved him back, breaking the kiss. “Stop it already, we got stuff to do.” He laughed and gave me a peck on the cheek before heading into the kitchen. I shook my head and watched him look through boxes for a moment. I almost had to laugh at myself. It was hard to believe that after everything that had happened the past month things could be so normal. Normal was fucking good after what we'd been through. I turned hearing someone clear their throat behind me. The man looked like he'd just drank a gallon of soy sauce. I would too if I'd had to agree not to charge for my work because one of my guys fucked up. “We are finished putting the furniture and boxes in their rooms. Did you need anything else?” I shook my head. “Nah, I think we got it.” He stood there for a second like he was expecting something more then finally shrugged and went to gather up his crew. I headed into the bedroom to make sure they'd put everything where we wanted it. This room looked nothing like the other apartment, something Ryuu and I had both agreed on. After all the shit that had went down at his penthouse, not even his parents wanted to keep the place. Last I knew the landlord was gutting it to make a ballroom or something like that. Whatever, I didn't give a shit. It had been a nice place, but I liked this better already. Ryuu and I had spent a long time figuring out what we wanted. I'd never realized that there were so many types of furniture to choose from. More than once I'd told Ryuu just to pick something, but he'd said no, that this was for both of us and he wanted my input. The idiot really knew how to make me feel wanted. Deciding I had no idea what to do with all the boxes in the bedroom I headed back to the kitchen. “Oi! Get the fuck out.” I grinned at Ryuu as I pulled him away from the box he'd been rummaging through. “You ain't got a clue what any of that stuff is, so just leave it.” “Hey now! I've been learning you know! I had Hasu teaching me how to do stuff while you were in the hospital.” I laughed and got a grin in return. “Right and that's why the hotel offered us free room service as long as you promised not to ever try to cook in the room again.” “There was a kitchenette you know, you make it sound like I lit a fire in the room or something.” “Pretty much.” I smirked at him, then yelped and jumped back as he grabbed for me.

Summary: A group of short stories with different topics. Status: Complete I will post my stand alone fictions in here .Been doing some writing prompts with a couple groups so will post ones I have done . And maybe find some of my old ones . The first one I'm posting is for this writing prompt . I went over the word limit but I tried lol . Choose a person from the past and write a conversation you had with them in the present. For example, you find Benjamin Franklin roaming the aisles of your local grocery store and help him find the peanut butter. The rules dictate that it must be a real person from the past having a conversation with the real you in the present, but allow the conceit to inform the rest of the story. Keep it short, under 300 words. Today is a bad day nothing seems to be going well. I sigh as I sit on the park bench. A little girl approaches me and smiles. “Can I sit here? “ I shrug. Something about the girl’s appearance looks familiar. “Do I know you?” I ask. She looks into my eyes and smiles brightly “Of course you do.” I look at her closely short brown hair, blue eyes, about age seven. She reaches her hand out to touches my face. A tear falls from eye as I reach out and grab her hand. “Do you know me now? “ I nod. “How is this possible? “ I ask. She shrugs. “Is it hard being an adult?” “Of course it is hard.” I say. She looks at me disappointment filling her face. I pat her on the head “It’s not always bad.” She crosses her arms and a scowl crosses her lips. “I have made lots of good friends.” “Really? “ She asks. I nod. “I have even fallen in love. “ She blushes and giggles. “Why are you here? “ I ask. She looks down at the ground as she swings her legs back and forth. “The same reason you are here. “ I stare at her blankly. She sighs “I’m running away.” “You shouldn’t run away. “ She rolls her eyes “Right back at you.” “Let’s be strong then.” I say with a smile. She nods but still looks unsure. I wrap my arms around her small body and hug her tightly. Relief falls over me as her tiny arms wrap around me. “We can do it.” I promise her. “I know.” She says with a twinkle in her eyes. “My time is up now” She says as she stands up. “Can I see you again? “ I ask not wanting her to go. “Of course I’m always with you.” “That’s right. “ I say as we both break into giggles. As she starts to fade away I reach out for her “Goodbye Sally.” She smiles one last time “Goodbye Sally.” And with that my younger self disappears.

I made this a couple of hours ago and decided to show you guys. And yes,I know the shading, his chin and his shoulder are crappy XD he really is hard to draw :cuteonion53:

Okk.... since it's been a day that I posted this one... I give you a hint : It was translated by Bliss Scanlations -- Story with angels !

Being honest here.... *blush* I have a very dear friend to me, and yes he is gay... I've seen him go thru hell ih his relantionships, and being happy and in love(thank god he's like that right now). I met him at one of my works, and at the time he was in a relantionship with our manager, and yes i caught them....doing it!*BEET RED* Since then i can honestly say nothing shocks me anymore... But when i started reading manga, yaoi manga to that, i felt totally and completely at ease with it... It was not my first aproach, and it looked so sexy and hot as hell O__O... I've spoken about this to many many people, many of them said..."that's gay stuff right...weuh", i'm not ashamed and i'm not afraid, but i also have means to it, i understand why most of you can't... I'm a full grown up woman, i'm married, and i'm so completely crazy and wierd people just doesn't care anymore... About Yaoi, yes i love it... And yes i am a girl, so what?! I love yaoi, there isn't a day passes by that i don't read a manga, a new one or an old one... I love this so much, i get turned on, i get sentimental, i laugh and i cry(Destiny.Fate and goki's story is a good example of it), but makes me happy, so why shouldn't i just because i'm a girl... No way in hell, dears friends, this just comes with the package... You like it, you take it...If you don't, then i don't give a damn... Gender as nothing to do with it...tha't's what i think...what's hot will always be hot *sorry about the "will"*

@Jenova : Honestly, I never saw this post in my little visits on the site, Yesterday.... :F Maybe, I'm getting too old... Ahah ! Question : It's been 3 months that I have downloaded this novel ?! is it good ?! Yours : "Plastics" by Nara Chiharu.

Thank You misakixusagi . Here's my newest one . The Cookie. This week my friends and I did this writing prompt . This one was a real fun one to do . I came up with five different stories to do with it . If I get time maybe I will try to do another one of this one . Here it is . One day you come into work and find a cookie mysteriously placed on your desk. Grateful to whoever left this anonymous cookie, you eat it. The next morning you come in and find another cookie. This continues for months until one day a different object is left–and this time there’s a note. (500 words or less) . I went over 28 words :/ I'm bad with staying short. _____________________________________ I was having a horrible day being forced to do all of my coworkers errands. “Lazy good for nothings. “ I mutter under my breath. As I approach my desk I sigh as I see a huge stack of paper work. I was ready to just sneak out of there when I saw a beautiful cookie left on my desk. I look around to see if anyone is giggling. But everyone seems unaware of this cookie. I sniff it and nibble it cautiously. I shrug as I stuff the rest of the cookie in my mouth I mean what’s the worse that could happen it’s just a cookie. I smile maybe there are kind people in this place. To my surprise the next day I find another cookie. And the day after that, and so on. Always a new flavor, always a flavor I like. After a month I couldn’t start my day without my cookie. Several months pass the cookie is the staple to my day. I cannot even tell you how important that simple cookie meant to me. It had become like a drug to me with my cookie I could deal with anything. Everybody would ask my secret how I could be so happy. How could I be the same person they knew who once walked around work like a zombie and complained constantly? And like always I smile and walk away. On a dark dreary day a cloud of doom seems to envelop the office. The regional manager calls us in one by one and yells at every one of us. I become jittery as he talks to me biting my lip, biding my time. Just a little more I tell myself then your day will be ok because there will be a cookie waiting for you. He grows tired of me as I will not speak and sends me back. I walk as fast as I can on a verge of tears. I sigh a sigh of relief as I reach my desk. But to my dismay there is not a cookie. And that was it the tears come out as I search franticly looking under my desk, in my trash bin everywhere. No cookie. What have I done to not deserve my precious cookie? That cookie was my everything! Of all days why today? I sink into my chair giving up. As lay my head down its then that I see it a little black box and a note. Curious I open the note. To the one I admire, I have always been watching you. Loving you from afar. Did you enjoy my cookies? I enjoyed watching you eat them. I finally have the courage after several months to tell you my true feelings. Love, Peter. I open the box and see a beautiful engagement ring as I open it a handsome man goes on one knee beside me. “Will you marry me? “ “Yes.” I say with delight. ________________________________ Far off in space two gray beings watch their monitor as the scene unfolds. “Experiment 04567 complete.” The computer announces. The beings nod to each other. “Experiment 04568 commencing.” The computer chirps.

Chapter 09 [FINALE] It feels… Just like my diary… But [Daichi] he… Rui, he’s much more direct then I am. Si thought, after reading, and while the ice cream on the Tiramisu melts. “Let’s go!” Rui said as he asked for the bill. “To where?” Si gently keeping his gift back into the box as he said. “For the countdown!” Wow! It’s already 11:40pm! Time flies! With this, Si followed Rui to a corner just around the Christmas Tree, waiting for the arrival of Christmas. “We’ve known each other for 2 years…” Rui suddenly spoke. “I still remember how we met on XXX’s web forum. You and I really hit off very well and chatting with you is really enjoyable. My original workplace was nowhere near yours, but, I requested for a transfer in order to get close to you, to meet you. But I didn’t have the courage to. I didn’t have the courage to face you.” “Why?” Am I so scary?! "Because I’m a homo." Rui said frankly. "I'm afraid... I am afraid you would discriminate against me." "Is this how you look at me? That I would discriminate you?!” Si was angry. "I'm afraid you will be like most of the people, thinking that I’m heterogeneous..." "If you really think that I am someone like that, I’m sor~~~ry; I think we have nothing to say anymore." Si angrily stood up, ready to turn away. "No, wait a minute! In fact, I... I like you for long time! I just didn’t dare say it!" Rui confessed while holding on tightly to Si’s hand, causing him to momentary unable to react. Looking at Si’s silence, Rui came up with the conclusion. "It seems that things are really as I had expected..." "Why do you have your own conclusion when I did not even say a single word?” "What?! You mean... I... I have the chance!?!" Rui momentary excitement has led him to inadvertently loosen the clutching of Si’s hand. "I... I need to get home for sleep..." as Si spoke, he tried to escape from the venue. [30. . . 29. . . 28. . ] While the crowd counts down, Rui desperately tried to catch up with the escaping Si. CAUGHT! "Let me go, there’s a lot of people here!” "No way! Unless you tell me if you like me!" "Such a disgrace!” "I want my grace, but I want you too.” At the moment, they looked into each other’s eyes. [3. . . 2. . . 1. . . Merry Christmas! ] Man-made snow filled the air, and the fireworks too, were dazzling. "…” "What? What did you say? I couldn’t hear it!" "Nevermind it’s ok then!" "Again! Say it again!” Rui is trying to use his beautiful green puppy eyes on Si. "Nooo~~~!” "Si~~~” Although it wasn’t heard, but under the dazzling fireworks, he saw the shape of his lips… “I – Like – You – Too!” ==================================================

Chapter 08 To be Continued...

Chapter 07 To be Continued...

Chapter 06 [in the restaurant.] “Is this meal your treat?” [sora] looked doubtfully at [Daichi]. “Certainly! Haha...” If that’s the case, maybe I could consider forgiving him for deceiving me. “Excuse me waiter! Give us the best wine you have here, just choose it for us. Also a set of A meal, a set of C meal, a portion of steak, make it medium well done. A lobster baked rice. And lastly… An ice-cream on tiramisu. That would be all for now!” This guy… Haha… I bet he’s doing it on purpose! Deliberately trying to make me laugh huh! “Are you trying to empty my wallet?” “I don’t usually accept invitation from every one! You should be honored!” Looking at his attire – suit and tie – and the restaurant he made reservation in is pretty high class, he should be able to afford it, no? "Haha... Now, I think we should re-introduce ourselves again! I’m Zhan Zhen Hao • Rui, 25. I have a car and an apartment. I’m currently working as the Executive Director of Advertising and Planning in an advertising company. My blood type is AB +. Oh yes, I am a mix blood. " "Oh. I’m Yang Cheng Si.” "That’s all??!” "That’s all!” So annoying… When the meals are served, Si began to eat, almost desperately; there isn’t a lot of opportunity to eat like this! Meanwhile, Rui took the advantage, to observe Si, while he’s eating. Look all you want, thought Si; I’ll just eat to my fill! When all the dishes have been served except for dessert, Rui spoke. "Where’s my Christmas gift?" “Gift??” Oh God! Damn! I didn’t prepare any! “I knew you would forget, forget it! Here, take it.” Si took over the gifts. It has a silvery white ribbon tied to 4 bows on a bronze-colored gift box. "What is this?" I had never received such valuable gift. The external looks expensive, could the gift in it be more expensive?! Rui said nothing; he just smiled and signals him to open the gift box. With high anticipation, Si un-tie the ribbon, opened the box. A… A book?!? A black book? He raised his head, looked at Rui confusedly. Is this a 'Death Note'? “It’s your Christmas gift.” What! My Christmas gift is a book?! Miser!!! Flipping to the first page, it has, but only a few words. For: Yang Cheng Si Curiosity prompted Si to flip to the second page. . . The third page. . . and so on until a blank page appears in the book. . . To be Continued...

Chapter 05 Wednesday, December 23 [Online] [Daichi: Let’s meet at the atrium of TM shopping mall!] [sora: If I didn’t appear tomorrow… Will you kill me? o_o] [Daichi: What’s going on this time? .V.] [sora: Nothing. Just that I haven’t seen him for long.] [Daichi: Tell me, between him and me, who’s more important to you? >_ [sora: What are you talking about? ?_?] [Daichi: Is it not that case?! I’ve never seen you so interested in someone before! >o [sora: Who said that?! I’m pretty interested in you too! ^0^] [Daichi: Okay! So don’t be late tomorrow! (^0^)] [sora: Alright! (-_-#)] [Daichi: Oh yeah, to let us recognize each other, let’s bring along the XXX book! =^__^=] [sora: -_-^ That’s really old-school. Hey! You haven’t told me the time yet!] [Daichi: Oh right! Seven. Seven by the atrium!] [sora has just logged out. ] [Daichi has just logged out.] Christmas Eve. A 15 storey tall Christmas Tree was set up right in the middle of TM shopping mall. Gentle lightings have created a romantic atmosphere. Couples also made use of the chance to enjoy a lovely Christmas Eve. Man-made snow flakes filled the air, giving everyone the feeling of living in a foreign country. [sora], currently standing at the Atrium of TM Shopping Mall, in front of the Christmas tree, thinking about that guy while holding XXX’s book. *Sighs… I know I shouldn’t do this to [Daichi]. But still, I’ll let him know that I wish to leave early today. Looking at the book in his hand, it was the same as what ‘he’ was holding on to that day. [sora] bowed his head down in depress, thinking, it’s been 6 days…… Suddenly, a pair of black leather shoes appear in front of [sora]’s eye. Who could this be? Standing in front of someone so abruptly, [sora] thought. He wasn’t in a good mood, hence he start cursing in his heart. Next moment, the owner of the black leather shoes spoke. “You are [sora] right?” [Daichi]? [sora] slowly raised his head, from the black shoes, to the black pants, his eye then remained on the XXX’s book. It really is [Daichi]! “Not looking at me?” It can’t be that he’s shy, is he?! [Daichi] smiled toward [sora]. As though he had gathered all his determination, [sora] finally looked up. “You… You…” As expected! Just as what he has imagined, [sora] – tried – to turn and ran away the minutes he sees him. Since [Daichi] had expected this, he managed to reach out and grabbed him. “Let go of me!” Back facing [Daichi], [sora] spoke unfeelingly. “I’ll let you go if you listen to my explanations!” [Daichi] knows it, if he let’s go of [sora], he might never be able to see him again! “Explanations of what?! The fact that you played me around like a puppet?!” [sora] said agitatedly. “No I didn’t! Ever since the very first time we’ve met, I had always wanted to tell you that I’m [Daichi]!! But I was in a horrible state, remember, how could I admit it to you?! I was embarrassed because you were staring at me bluntly!” I admit... I had originally intended to play a joke on you… “Since… Since when did I?! With someone all drenched up seated beside you, which retarded person wouldn’t stare at him?” [sora] blushed unknowingly. “But you looked at me as though you were in love with me!” [sora] felt the instant gush in embarrassment in him and said, “Try saying it one more time, and I’ll kill you!” [Daichi] looked at [sora] and smiled. He said gently, “Nope, you wouldn’t.” [sora] stood in astonishment. Once again, he stared at him bluntly. His eyes are beautiful! “Look, I’ve charmed you once again didn’t I? Which is why I believe you wouldn’t kill me. Haha… Now this reminds me of the first time we met.” [Daichi] spoke, still smiling. Hmm? This scenario… seems so familiar… Wh…what was I doing?! Why was I staring at him unconsciously again?! [sora] snapped back to reality. Seems to know his thought by heart, [Daichi] was first to speak. "On the first day that we met on train, you were staring at me with those glances as well. Do you know what it means?" “What does it means?” [sora] ask innocently. “It means, your glance, is filled with admiration!” [Daichi] said proudly. Idiot… [sora] thought. “It’s getting late, I need to get home.” “Late? Now? It’s only 8pm...” “I have the habit of going to bed early.” “Oh… Let’s go for supper, I’m hungry!” “Supper? Now? It’s only 8pm...” “I have the habit of eating supper early.” [Daichi] smiled brightly as he grab on to [sora]’s hand, leading him towards TM Shopping Mall. He’s definitely the idiot of the idiots… [sora] thought, and – for a second – smiled. In order to not create a scene in front of the crowd, and feeling a little hungry at the same time, [sora] hence did not mind – just for a while - [Daichi] holding on to his hand. It’s only his facial expression that shows obvious reluctance. The crowd in front of TM Shopping Mall must be wondering, why the guy in front seems to be so full of joy, yet, the one behind seems to be rather discontented. To be Continued...

Was bored so tried this writing prompt . Use the words from your favorite song (or the song that is stuck in your head), mix them up and write a short short story using every word. Used Love the way you lie by Eminem ft. Rihanna . I didn't use all the words but I used a lot of the main ones . O how I love the way you lie . So shamelessly to my face. No matter how much you try to hide it the blood stains won’t wash away from your hands. Are you just going to stand there and watch me burn ? And right now there's a steel knife in my windpipe. I can't breathe. You smile triumphantly. Do I amuse you ? But I will still fight while I can fight. Life is no Nintendo game. But that's alright because I like the way it hurts. As long as I can feel I know I am alive. I pull the knife away and push you down. It's like I'm in flight. High of a love. Drunk from the hate. I press the knife against your throat. You stare at me in amusement a hearty laugh escapes your lips. “You're the same as me.” you say . I feel so ashamed. The knife slips from my fingers. I love the way you lie. It's like I'm huffin' paint. It's so insane. I'll never stoop so low again I promise myself. “I'm leaving you.” I say firmly and turn to go . “No you ain't.” ”Come back.” You demand. You jump to your feet fire in your eyes. You push me back . Are you just going to stand there and hear me cry ? I snap . I will no longer be your victim. “That was yesterday, yesterday is over.” “It's a different day.” I say firmly. I pull out a gun and aim it at you heart. “I know I'm a liar.” You say walking slowing towards me . “Look me in the eyeball .” “ Next time I'm pissed I'll aim my fist at the dry wall.” “Next time..” “There will be no next time.” I shout back . “Now I know we said things and did things that we didn't mean.” You apologize. It's the rage that took over as I shot the pistol. I shake as you stare back in shock. You ever love somebody so much that you can barely breathe? You swore you've never hit 'em. Never do nothing to hurt 'em. But now here you lay my love a bullet in your chest . I turn to to go tears filling my eyes . “Baby please come back it wasn't you.” “Baby it was me.” You cry out . My whole being tells me to leave you there. All I know is I love you too much. To just walk away . I guess I don't know my own strength as I lay beside you. “I love you . “ you tell me . O how I love the way you lie . I dial 911 and put the phone against your ear . I stand and smirk. “Now you watch as I walk away.” Your eyes trail out to the window. “Maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it seems. " “Maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano.” You say as you watch me go . “Come inside.” You cry. “No more . “ I whisper as I turn the key in the ignition . Even at the end you lie to me . How fitting, I love the way you lie .

Ryuu I was so comfortable at the moment. Our new couch was beautiful and not white thank goodness. I’d had enough of white furniture. No this was a very nice pale blue with cream and gold and was even more comfortable than it looked. When I’d walked through the living room and seen Kenta lounging on the coach, the temptation to join him had been irresistible. He was currently nestled between my legs, his head on my chest while I played with his hair. We were both watching Sora and Hasu try to hook up the new entertainment system. It was amusing watching them especially since Hasu seemed to be in a much better mood and was tormenting Sora at every turn. Probably not intentionally though. “Okay, this line goes to the sub woofer.” “Got it. Okay, that’s the last one right? Can we play games now?” Sora chuckled and patted Hasu on the head his affection for the younger drummer practically glowing in his eyes. “Yeah sure, what were you wanting to play?” “I don’t know . . .” Hasu looked around the room at the stacks of yet to be unpacked boxes. “Where are the games?” I frowned. “I’m really not sure which box they are in Hasu.” Hasu frowned and headed for the closest box. Before I had time to say anything he’d opened it and was busy unpacking it. “Ah . . . Hasu, you don’t have to do that there are too many boxes to worry about tonight.” Sora shook his head at me eyes narrowed. Okay . . . “B-but I guess we could get started at least.” I went to sit up and there was a disgruntled noise from Kenta. I looked down to see him blinking sleepily at me. “Stay’ere.” And with that I ended up laying on the couch snuggling my boyfriend while my two best friends unpacked for us. Sora found the alcohol somewhere along the way and got us each a drink. By then Kenta was fast asleep one hand lightly clutching my shirt. “I found them!” Hasu crowed holding up several game cases. “Shhh! Kenta is asleep.” “Oh . . . sorry.” He grinned sheepishly at me. “So can we still play?” “I don’t know Hasu, it’s getting pretty late now, it’s after ten and you’ve got school tomorrow.” Hasu made a face. “It’s not that big a deal. I usually stay up late playing games at home anyway. It’s not like my graduating at the top of the class is going to matter anyway.” Sora and I looked at each other. He spoke up first. “Hasu, school is the most important thing right now. You are way too smart not to graduate at the top of your class. Hell, you’re even a grade ahead of other kids your age!” I nodded. “Sora and I both graduated at the top of our classes. There is no reason you can’t.” Hasu set the games back in the box and got to his feet. “I appreciate the concern guys, but it’s not something I’m that worried about.” “You should be. Ryuu and I have talked about helping you pay for university, you won’t get into a good one if your grades slip.” Hasu looked over at Sora, the dark eyes puzzled. “Why would you guys do that? It’s not your responsibility.” “Maybe not, but you can’t pay for it by yourself and I’m sure there is something you’ll want to study further.” I smiled at him, wishing there was some way to erase the worry now etched on the cute face. “Believe me, it would be for the best. It’s very difficult to get along in society now without a degree of some kind.” Hasu shook his head and I frowned recognizing the stubborn set to his jaw. “So. It’s my decision ultimately. Like I said I appreciate the input but it’s really none of your concern.” “Hasu, we just want what is best for you, we are your friends.” He shrugged and headed passed me toward the kitchen. “Thanks, but I’ll do what I want.” I sighed and looked at Sora. The deep green eyes looked pained. I shook my head looking down at Kenta. Hasu was still too young to understand that the decisions he made now would affect the rest of his life. Looking at the dark head pillowed against my chest I wondered if it would help to have Kenta talk some sense into Hasu. He knew firsthand how bad things could be if wrong choices were made. I’d have to ask him if he’d feel comfortable talking with Hasu about school and explaining to him why it was so important. Since everything that had happened the two of them had spent a lot of time together. Hasu looked after Kenta like a worried younger brother. Kenta put up with him a lot better than I’d thought he would at first. Though Kenta had mellowed out a lot in the past few weeks. Nearly dying might do that to a person. An unwelcome chill ran through me and I rubbed a hand over my eyes. “Hey, why don’t you go to bed. You look beat.” Sora’s gentle voice reached me, pulling me back from the memories. Opening my eyes I had to blink a couple of times. “Yeah that would be good . . . uh, do you mind?” I gestured to my sleeping boyfriend who was effectively pinning me to the couch. I didn’t want to wake Kenta, god knew he needed his sleep. He’d been doing entirely too much and I was worried that it was hindering his healing. Sora was already on his feet and it only took a little maneuvering for him to gather Kenta into his arms. It always made Kenta look so petite and vulnerable in my eyes. Something I was still getting used to after years of only seeing the tough yakuza façade he always projected. I wouldn’t go back for anything though I wished he hadn’t had to suffer so much this past month. He was taking everything so much better than I could have. Then again he was just a stronger person. He had to be with everything he’d dealt with growing up. Following Sora toward the bedroom I looking into the kitchen to see Hasu sitting on the counter with a jar of mayo resting on his lap a distant look in his eyes. Reaching out I grabbed Sora and motioned for him to be quiet, nodding my head in the direction of the youngest. His heavy sigh made me sad. Sora loved Hasu and I understood how much it hurt to see the one you loved looking so lost and alone. I knew Hasu had suffered a horrible trauma but something else seemed to be bothering him. Something that none of the rest of us knew about or realized. Once Sora laid Kenta on the bed I thanked him and crawled up in it myself. Our first night together in our brand new apartment and we weren’t even going to have celebratory sex. It would just have to wait I guess. There were more important things than sex. Less fun . . . but more important.

I turned around and ran smack into a very solid chest. I stepped back, rubbing my nose and looked up. “Oi, Sora, don't fucking sneak up on me like that!” He raised his eyebrows at me and shook his head. “You guys are supposed to be playing around. Ryuu, you are supposed to be taking care of him.” I could hear the pout in Ryuu's voice. “I wasn't going to let him get hurt.” I crossed my arms over my chest and gave Sora my most intimi-imit . . . my hardest glare. He grinned. “You know . . . when you try to look tough like that you end up looking rather seductive.” I blinked, my arms dropping to my sides. Ryuu was giggling behind me. “He does doesn't he!” Sora laughed and reaching down grabbed me and picked me up. “Let me down you fucking shit head!” “Nope, it's time for you to go rest. You've been on your feet all day and you are wore out.” “I am not!!! I'm just fine!” “Sure you are, you can't even get down can you?” “Damn you, you fucking bastard.” Why did the giant red head have to be right? It was just fucking awkward getting carried around like a cripple. Though now that he'd pointed it out, I was exhausted and starting to ache. “Just put me down, I can walk you know. Besides, this isn't very comfortable.” He grinned at me, the bright green eyes glittering. “Sure, go rest alright. Oh and where is Hasu? I can't seem to find him.” I tugged my shirt down as Sora set me back on my feet. I sank down on the couch letting out a sigh as overworked muscles were finally allowed to relax. A few months ago and Sora would never even have thought about doing something like that. Just showed how much things had changed, I guess. “He's upset. One of his drums got ruined.” “Oh shit.” Sora swore softly. “I better go find him. That set is his most prized possession.” “Yeah he almost attacked the guy when he stepped on it.” So here is the first part of Chapter 1. I hope you guys enjoy it.

Sorry, I think the chapter became very long and very bad. It was a bit hard bec some personal memories are mixed. Anyway, you’ll see that there are some links to youtube vids, they are the songs I’ve been listening to while trying to write this. As always, critics are well received. By the way, I’ll be out for a couple of weeks, I’ll be working, working, working & studying, studying, studying, leaf4 I’m gonna miss you all. See you back on sept the 9th. Kisses and hugs for all of you. :banhbao43: "I was only able to cry. I cried for being so selfish, egoist; I was having sex with a handsome man, clever, who liked me and thinking and desiring another man who may despise me for being so despicable. I could have found a little happiness with him, I should have tried harder, forgetting Paul and keeping on living without him. I was a stupid brat who didn’t know anything, a stubborn idiot in love with a man who would never love me. Thomas had left a while ago and I was still lying there, buried in tears and shame. I wasn’t able to move. I couldn’t forget Thomas’ face, tears of anger running down, holding the hand he slapped me with, all his hair messed. His hair has grown longer since I met him and shinny blond streaks have appeared during this time , making him even more handsome. Put ting his tight jeans on while staring at me, his eyes blood shot of anger, hate. I’ve damaged his pride as a man and as a lover. - You can’t be like this, Patrick, those one-sided feelings will kill you. You’ll start to fell sadder gradually, you’ll leave all the people who likes you behind and will become a loner. He won’t love you, he won’t see you as a lover, as a companion. But I…. ( he hesitated and kept silent for a moment) I can. He patted my sticky hair wet from sweating, trying to wipe my tears, his breath had reached a normal rhythm, as he had calmed himself and I started crying and babblering: - I know, I know but I can’t, I can’t, I can’t. I’ve tried ! I can’t stop loving him. I’ve loved him for five years. He has been the only thing in my life that I’ve treasured enough to sacrifice other important things. - Don’t do this to you, Patrick. Give yourself a chance and when you change your mind look for me. ( ) He kissed me on the cheek and left me there, half naked, alone, feeling miserable. I waited till down to come back to my room. During the following weeks, I didn’t see Thomas at University. I went to his classroom but his friends didn’t know anything about him. I asked also his teachers and they told me he had asked for several days off to work on a research. I understood he didn’t want to heard anything about me. I had to apologize, I knew that but I was afraid of facing him. How would he react? How would he feel? How would I feel? I had to do it before Christmas break. Paul’s birthday came and I text him wishing him a happy day. He texted me back “ That’s all? No phone call, no chatting, what’s with you?” “Nothing, busy” “Not coming home? Let’s party” “No, busy” “C’mon, I miss you” “No, don’t be cruel!” “What?” “What?” He texted again but I didn’t answer, instead I turned off my phone and went to bed. ( ) Next day I had 13 missing calls from Paul, but I ignored them. I’ll face him when I were at home. My head was full of Thomas right now. I was leaving in two days . I went to the admission office and asked for his address. I had written him a Christmas card and bought him Christine Guth’s Art of Edo Japan, we’ve seen in a bookshop. When I arrived to the address I had been given, I hesitated. It was a big house, a mansion to me. The front yard was full of trees and bushes decorated with tiny white lights and a big garland wishing everybody a Happy Christmas. I knocked the door, it seemed as if anyone was at home. Suddenly a handsome young boy opened the door. - Hello? He said with big open eyes - Ummm. Hi, I’m looking for Thomas Cowan- Stuart - My bro? He’s not at home. He went to France to visit granny for Christmas. He’s coming next week. - Well, could you give him this for me, please? I’m Patrick ( blushing) - What? Are you Patrick? My bro talked about you a lot. Come in and have a tea with me. Doris made brownies… - Umm, I don’t know, I think it’s not right. Your brother and I aren’t in good terms, right now. - Oh, don’t worry, I know that’s why I’m inviting you. I’m Peter, he said with a big dazzling smile, as dazzling as Thomas' I felt curious, I wanted to know what Thomas had been telling to his brother. We had a nice chat. He was very kind and polite. He told me that Thomas didn’t speak too much about his friends at University but that I was well-known at home. His parent were wishing to know me. I couldn’t avoid blushing - Don’t worry, we know Thomas like guys. He’s a very sensible and hard- worker man. My parents understand his likings and feelings. Do you love my bro? - My parents understand his likings and feelings. Do you love my bro? - You’re a bit straight-forward for me, I said, the blood on my face boiling. I wish I could say yes, but I already have someone I love and your brother doesn’t love me. - Are you sure? I shivered. What was he talking about. We only had sex, no feelings related. He knew my feelings for Paul. It was just sex, just sext. I started to repeat it to myself. I was feeling unconfortable and wanted to go. - It’s getting late and I’m going home tomorrow. It has been very nice to meet you. Please, be sure to give Thomas my present. - Ok. I’ll tell him. Merry Christmas - Merry Christmas I left his home, feeling oddly happy . I arrived at my room and found a letter and a parcel. The letter was from Paul and the package from Thomas. Thomas’ package were some souvenirs from Nimes where his grandma lived: a small scale building called La Maison Carrée, a photo book with landscapes and touristic sites and a postcard saying: “ Happy Christmas, dear Patrick. I hope all your wishes come true. I bought all this rubbish thinking that you’d like it. Just throw them away! Be happy. Tom” I couldn’t avoid smiling and feeling happy because he had sent me a Christmas present. I put it aside and faced Paul’s letter. It was weird because he never wrote a letter to anyone. I wrote them to his girlfriends for him. “ Hey idiot! How are you doing? It’s not this a bit of a nice starting? I’m so mad with you! What’s with you? You miss my birthday, don’t call me back. Are you enjoying that much with that sissy? Ok, Ok, sorry. I miss my friend, I miss you Pat. Come back home soon. Let’s go drinking and talk about us. We need to talk. Call me when you’re at home. Yours…. Paul” I smiled bitterly. His letter was killing me. What was the meaning of his words? I was so afraid to face him… "

Switch OVA Title: Switch Genre: Drama, mystery Themes: Police, shounen-ai Type: OVA Episodes: 2 Year:2008 - 2009 Duration: 30 min. / Ep Info: Based on a shounen manga written by Saki Otoh, illustrated by Nakamura Tomomi and serialised in GFantasy. Plot Summary: Two newbies at the Narcotic Control Department in Japan, Hal and Kai, struggle against: drug dealers, gangs, murderers, psychopaths, mysterious organizations, and mad people in general. The gentle and caring one of the group, Kai, who has problems of his own, has the tendancy of turning into a lethal killing machine in certain scenarios. The way he acts changes like that of a "switch". As the two do their job, answers of what is behind Kai's strange behavior and who exactly he is, is revealed. Watch Switch OVAs Online: Switch OVAs Download Switch OVAs: OVA 1 OVA 2 (Open with VLC Player) For download re-upload requests, post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

Original name: Doushiyoumo Nai Keredo Manga ALT. names: どうしようもないけれど / 无所适从的情衷 / 無所適從的情衷 / Doushiyoumo Nai Karedo Original run: 2007 Description: Hardworking, good-looking, and heir to daddy's company, Shimano thinks his life's just about perfect. Except that he's working from the bottom up in the company, and he can't seem to get along with Kurokawa, his manager. Competent but flippant, Kurokawa always seems to pay extra attention to Shimano, whether it's teasing him to make him work harder or covering up for his mistakes, which of course drives Shimano crazy. So he has Kurokawa firmly blacklisted until he realizes that Kurokawa's private life isn't a bundle of roses and begins to sympathize...and how are you supposed to hate someone you sympathize with, anyway? Manga-type: Manga Written by: Natsume Isaku Drawn by: Natsume Isaku Published by: Dear+ (Shinshokan) Group(s) Scanlating: Vices and Devices Status: Complete Completely Scanlated: Yes Completely Translated: Yes Genres: Comedy, Drama; Heir Categories: Co-workers; Comedy; Drama Main Characters: Kurokawa, Shimano Adaptation based on available: N/A Recommendations: Doushitemo Furetakunai, Koi wo Shimashou, Hisho no Koi Related Series: Tight Rope (Side Story) Read Doushiyoumo Nai Keredo Online Doushiyoumo Nai Keredo Download Doushiyoumo Nai Keredo Manga DOWNLOAD v01c0104 DOWNLOAD v02c05 vol 2 ch 6 For download re-upload requests, post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

TITLE: Aruhi, Mori no Naka; One Day in the Forest; Koisuru Boukun DJ MANGAKA: Takanaga Hinako STATUS: Complete SUMMARY: The story of Kuma (Bear Morinaga) and Ookami-san (Wolf Tatsumi) DOWNLOAD: One Day in the Forest - Koisuru Boukun DJ For download re-upload requests, post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

Title: Yannacchaukurai Aishiteru Manga ALT. names: やんなっちゃうくらい愛してる I Can't Stop Loving You! Pure Love (french) Yannacchau Kurai Aishiteru Original run: 2003 Description: Kyouji is a Buddhist exorcist, and although he can't see ghosts, his best friend and lover, Yu, can! Maybe they'd go all the way if Yu's incredible supernatural strength could be held in check. How can a steamy, sexy relationship survive such obstacles? Manga-type: Manga Written by: Takakura Row Drawn by: Takakura Row Group(s) Scanlating: Hochuuami Status: Complete Genres: Action, School Life, Sci-fi, Supernatural, Yaoi Categories: Demons Main Characters: Kyouji, Yu Adaptation based on available: N/A Read Yannacchaukurai Aishiteru Online: Yannacchaukurai Aishiteru Download link: (MediaFire): Volume 1 Volume 2 For download reupload requests, please post here so the staff notices them. Thanks! YO Staff

Antique Bakery Anime TITLE: Antique Bakery COUNTRY: Japan EPISODES: 12 (complete) PLOT: One day, Tachibana, owner of the cake shop Antique, meets genius pâtissier Ono. He is Tachibana's former classmate who used to get spurned by him. Tachibana is relieved to know that Ono doesn’t remember him, and so Tachibana invites him as a pâtissier at his cake shop. However, Ono has come out of the closet and makes numerous advances to Tachibana! Download Antique Bakery Anime: EPS 1-3 EPS 4-6 EPS 7-9 EPS 10-12 For download re-upload requests, post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

Original name: Honenuki ni Saretai Manga ALT. names: ホネヌキにされたい, Sehnsucht nach ihm (German) Written by: KITAKAMI Ren Drawn by: KITAKAMI Ren Original run: 2007 Description: 1-3) Salaryman Hoshina has been sharing an apartment and bed with model Atsushi. Atsushi cooks, cleans, and remembers every anniversary, but Hoshina can't figure out why they are in this "type" of relationship. When Hoshina's younger brother moves in for a while, and the boys must endure until he's gone, will Hoshina even care? Will this time of separation be the turning point in their relationship? And which boy will be the one screaming, "Once is not enough"? 4) Try to Say You Love Me Student Hasegawa has recently started noticing how cute his friend Hashimoto is, especially around homeroom sensei Sawa. Can Hasegawa cheer Hashimoto on, or will he take his adorable classmate for himself... 5) Infection of Feeling Medical intern Ishiguro has been sleeping with his attending Sensei Sakuma for the past year. Their intensely physical relationship is all Ishiguro ever considered, but Sakuma thinks feelings should be involved as well. 6-7) Refrain Smile, Sweet Words in the Middle of the Night Aizawa can't seem to stop watching artist Shima, that he always sees sketching in the subway station. Shima's gentle smile he gives, even to strangers captivates Aizawa, so he finds himself standing up for the boy in an argument. Manga-type: Manga Published by: Magazine Be x Boy (Libre Shuppan) Group(s) Scanlating: Attractive Fascinate Status: Complete Completely Scanlated: Yes Completely Translated: Yes Genres: School Life Categories: Doctors, Love at First Sight, Older Uke-Younger Seme Main Characters: Hoshina, Atsushi Adaptations available: N/A Recommendations: Hizamazu Ai ni Kogareru, Otouto ni Koi Shitara, Kimi ga Ichiban Soba ni Iru, Koakuma no Sanctuary, Issho ni Kuraro Read Honenuki ni Saretai Online Honenuki ni Saretai Download link removed by scanlator's request

Chapter 1 It was only his first mission and a mock one at that but he would show the others he was capable of joining them out on the field. The set up they had put together made it feel real considering he had already observed a live mission from afar. It had been an easy one too something he could have handled with his hands tied behind his back. Okay maybe just one hand. Pushing the thought from his mind Haiake stood very still and filled his nostrils with the surrounding scents hoping to locate even the faintest trace of blood. After several moments he hit his mark and started running in the direction of the scent all the while staying within the safety of the shadows. “Haiake what’s your location?” Haiake nearly jumped in surprise by the voice coming from his earpiece. He reached up by his collar to speak into an installed mic to respond. “I’m over on 11th street. I’ve picked up the trail. He’s pretty close.” “Good you know what to do when you reach him Miakatsu will join you soon.” Haiake inwardly groaned. “Why did you send that idiot Tozouku? I told you I could handle this myself.” “No arguments unless you want to pulled from this mission.” Tozouku responded harshly, “Is that clear?” Haiake snapped his mouth shut for a second. He knew better than to make Tozouku angry. Seeing Tozouku angry was like borrowing a hammer and nailing your own coffin shut. “Clear Haiake out.” When he no longer heard Tozouku’s voice he picked up his pace and jumped onto a small walkway of an abandon building. Scanning the area he soon pinpointed his target; a man with a knife and a girl in a red evening dress. “There you are.” “No please let me go please!” the girl cried “You really like using that mouth don’t you. The man responded. “But I think I may have a better use for it.” Haiake’s eyes widened. If this was only a mock mission he was almost afraid to find out what he would face out in the field. Shaking his head he jumped down from the walkway ledge. “Hey you.” The man turned around throwing the girl to the side. “Well, well look what we have here. Are you up for a round as well? I don’t know if she’s any good though but I’m willing to share.” Haiake quickly glanced at the woman to see she had been knocked unconscious or so it appeared. He then looked at the man dead in the eye. “Unlike you I’m not interested in spending my nights making a fool of myself. But I’ll easily be able to proof it’s your main priority.” The men scoffed. He reached into his back pocket, and flicked open a switchblade. “I hope you’re hungry bud cause I’m about to make you eat those words.” Haiake had a hard time from rolling his eyes. “As a matter of fact I am hungry but I’m not about to dine on the bullshit that you’re spewing. So I suggest you do the whole world a favor and shut that unwanted annoying hole in the middle of your face.” The man’s face grew red with anger as he held out the switchblade and lunged towards Haiake. Almost seeing the movement before it happened he stepped to the side watching as the man stumbled nearly losing his balance. “Stay still you son-of-a.” Quickly glancing in the direction of the unconscious woman he smirked cutting the man off. “You know it’s very rude to use such fowl language in the presence of a lady; unconscious or not.” Turning his attention back to the man he held out his hand. “Care to dance?” The man lunged forward again this time aiming for Haiake’s head with his free hand tightened into a fist. Swing and a miss. He turned around and repeated the action missing again. “Okay you’re really starting to piss me off.” Haiake inhaled through his nostrils and seconds later he wrinkled up his face. “I could say something in return but I’ll just bite my lip.” “What’s stopping you?” Haiake tensed up when he heard that familiar voice. “Miakatsu.” Seconds later a silhouette appeared next to him. “You’re late.” Miakatsu turned to look at Haiake and faintly hissed. “Shut up, you were supposed to stay hidden until I showed up. You disobeyed your orders.” Haiake opened his mouth to say something in return but shut it again immediately knowing the other was right. “Well I-“ he knew there was nothing he could say to safe himself. “Just forget it. I’m sure if you ask Tozouku nicely he’ll let it slide this time.” Miakatsu muttered as he focused his attention on their target. “This looks easy, too easy. I can’t believe they gave you such an easy mission. And yet you still screwed it up.” “If you think it’s too easy then why are you here?” Haiake asked feeling his anger reaching a point it shouldn’t. “Don’t blame me, Tozouku wanted me to join in on the fun.” Miakatsu argued. “By the way you take care of the victim. I’m going to do some hunting.” Haiake felt a sudden urge to smack the man beside him. “Like hell you are. I’ve done most of the work already so I get to hunt. You take care of the victim.” “Hey are you two jackasses done?” Both turned to look at the man before allowing their eyes to glow a piercing white and their fangs to slide out of their gums. “He’s mine.” Before Haiake could say anything Miakatsu had moved forward and had the man in his arms his fangs ready to pierce the tempting exposed flesh of his neck. Standing up in hopes to start protesting Haiake was stopped when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Turning around he was greeted with a warm smile. “Tozouku?” “Well done Haiake. Except for one order you did very well. You may be able to start on simple missions now.” Tozouku said smiling. “In fact I believe Kaisuke has one tonight. It’s nothing big, just some recon. I’m sure he’ll be fine with you going along, right Kaisuke?” “Just think that was just a mock mission.” Kaisuke spoke up approaching the others having checked over the woman. “You sure he’s ready for the big leagues Tozo?” Tozouku glared at the unwanted nickname. “I hardly consider recon part of the big leagues.” “Just as long as I don’t have to work with him-.” Haiake responded pointing his thumb towards Miakatsu. “-I am not complaining in the least.” Miakatsu pushed himself away from the alley wall. “That has to be the only thing you and I can freely agree on without argument.” He turned his attention to the man sitting on the ground next to him. “You okay?” “Fine he did put up a good fight though.” Tozouku walked forward extending his hand. “You have been most helpful. We really appreciate your efforts. Mr. V.”

When people get negitive word there energy lever go down... But, when people get praise or applause people get plus energy... Let's make people in forum get plus energy!!! I will start... Key... ^^ He took his time to do so much for forum and help much as he can for other... I applause for his hard work on forum and being good at what he do! I really greatful for you! Thank you!!!! ^^ There are lot of people in the forum... need praise or get applause... Try to do one person for one person... Also try not to get one person get all the praise or applause... We are try to spread the plus energy in the forum... ^^

The fic was absolutely perfect form start to end. ps: and Goki's drawings were so cute and funny All in all it was original and beautiful!

yeah that is so true...lying is the only thing that we wanna avoid...especially with someone that we love... gosh seriously i hate control freaks...itz extremely torturing and suffocating... i feel sorry for yojichan n hope that u'll never get through of it again ever...*hugs* lookz like i gotta be careful when fallin' in love and i will seriously know that person deeply nefore giving my commitment... but dun worry yojichan...i kinda airhead person...i dun even know whether i fell in luv or not...lol

why do i have to love my bf so much that im hurting

Few more... one from Welcome to the chemistry lab... "Bang! Bang! You're mine!" one frome Dear Green... One from G-senjou no neko... 1. "I just clear up! What do you alway make a mass after I clean?" "Well, I don't like eating in dirtly place!" "......" --;;;;; 2. "Time to take a bath!" "NO!!!!!" "Come down! You will make me wet!!!!!!!!!!!!" T T 3. "I feel sleepy... Oh! Here is good place to sleep!" "What... I just wash that!!!!!!" --# 2 from game 'Birdie'... I did this quit long time ago... Enjoy... ^^

I hope I didn't ruin your poem... --;; I thought about using 2rd Takumi-kun love scene for this... Then... I change to this... I hope you like it... ^^;;;

You're welcome! I am glad you like it... This is what I do any way... well not really job... just what I good at... ^^;;; I just want you to be happy... ^^ Long as I make you smile I think I did my job.... ^^ You also have me on this relay story... So this is my way of saying thank you!!! ^^ I just hope everything will be o.k. soon... So see you around! ^^

Chapter 01 Thursday, December 3 Dear Diary, it has been 3 days since the rain stopped. Things still went the same way as before... He was able to rush into the cabin just before the door closed... and sat beside me. It was 3 days ago when I first met him, the weather was pouring, which makes the train cabin looks exceptionally deserted. Feeling all emotional, I looked out towards the pouring sky. Pondering. This is how a day ended. I guess it would be the same tomorrow as well? Then, it happened. He ran into the cabin, all wet. No umbrella huh... I guess. There was this awkward phenomenon generated, so I decided to glance away from the origin. Unexpectedly, I felt a new presence beside me. Turning to face the seat that was once empty, only to find out that he was sitting next to me! I hadn’t thought too much about it, maybe shock? The tiredness from job really proves to make one forget things easier. It was the same run-in-at-the-last-minute thing that happened the next day, and unsurprisingly, sat beside me again. It was empty in the cabin! Literally, empty. So why would he want to crowd up the small little space that we’re having – a 2-seater individual seat – here? I turned towards him and happened to looked into his eye, its green, the beautiful jade green. I was staring at him unknowingly and then I felt strange, so I glanced away for a second time. It was really embarrassing when you think back. But then again, black hair with green eye; he’s a mixed blood, isn’t he? Today as well, he ran in just before the door closed on him. Was he really in a rush? Friday, December 4 Dear Diary, as usual, the Friday crowds are much more than the weekdays, but still, he was seated next to me. The point is, he’s reading the book by XXX! Except for [Daichi] and me, I didn’t expect anyone else to be reading XXX’s books! What a coincidence! Saturday, December 5 [Online] [sora: Hey Daichi! You’ve gotta hear this! Just a few days ago, I met this guy by chance. He’s been riding on the same train as me every day and even sat beside me!] [Daichi: Really? -___- and you know this guy too? ] [sora: Nope I don’t! But that’s not the point! The point is, I saw him carrying XXX’s books today! ] [Daichi: Are you serious? 0.0 ] [sora: I am! I thought it was only the 2 of us who knows how to appreciate XXX’s work! ] [Daichi: Hey, I have a suggestion! Why not, you go be friends with him!] [sora: WHAT?] [Daichi: I mean, go befriend him, and let him chat with us too!] [sora: Your suggestion sounds good…] [Daichi: It is GOOD! Anyway we have the same interest… ] [sora: Hmmm… Ok, I’ll think about it…] [Daichi: You have to act first! Talk to him!] [sora: I’ll think about it… I’ll think about it… ] [sora has just logged out. ] [Daichi has just logged out.] Monday, December 7 Dear Diary, there was something strange about him today. Focus has been kept at his watch and he seems impatient too. He even alight the train one stop earlier then he usually would, ferociously. I wonder what has gotten into him. Glad that I did not speak to him just now or I might be scolded for doing so! Luck was on my side I guess. But… He should be here tomorrow as well, right? I hope ... Tuesday, December 8 Dear Diary, there was something really strange about him. He didn’t sit down beside me today, but instead, he just stood by the panel beside my seat. My heart couldn’t help but felt uneasy. What exactly has happened? To be Continued...

im not affraid of hospitals. most of people i know hate it. i kinda like it. sometimes i think i should have gone to med school..

Summary: A one night stand saves an empty heart Status: Complete I've written stories in Spanish since I can rememeber. This is my first time in English, so sorry if some expressions sound odd. It's not a long story, a little story of mine. Hope you like it, please be kind & honest. I like critics to improve.... " Today I closed my eyes and felt someone touching me, my face, my lips, my chin, my throat, slowly, softly, tracing my face. As I opened them I realized I was alone & feeling lonely. I closed my eyes once again and saw his face. That man I found yesterday in that squalid bar. Why did I go there in the first place? Since he left I’ve been feeling so lonely, I’ve tried so hard to fill this emptiness. Who’s that man? Why are his blue eyes stuck at the back of my mind. He offered me a drink and without a second thought I decided to accept the drink and everything he would give me that night. I was alone, I didn’t want to feel anything, and I didn’t mind anything. He asked my name, I didn’t ask his. I just wanted to erase that dark feeling he left two years ago. After few drinks, I invited him home and spent the night together. He knew what to do to me; he knew how to love me. He started to caress my chest while kissing my neck, I couldn’t think, just feel his fingers following the line of my hips, the inner side of my left thigh, with slow movements that made me shiver, my body ached for more and he knew it and he gave it to me, all the pleasure I had missed for the last two years. It was so heart-warming to be embraced, caressed again that I felt asleep without realizing. Lying in my bed, looking the face of that handsome man, whose arm was resting on my chest, embracing me tightly, warmly as if he tried to tie me to him. Suddenly I heard a voice asking me if I was asleep, my heart jumped out of my chest. I turned round and breathing slowly I answered: - Yes. I didn't want to see him leave; I didn't want to see it again. - What are you going to do today? - I don't know- I answered, why was he being so annoying? Why didn't he leave? like the others. Just leave me alone, I thought, but he was still there, looking at me, half smiling. - If you want, I can wait for you after work & have dinner together. “What?!” I wanted to scream, “bugger off, don’t jump into my life.” If it’s not him, I don’t want anyone in it. Is he planning to burst in my life? NO, no way. -I want to know you better, let’s go out after work, right? - No! I cried - Why not? He asked surprised- I’m a good guy! - No! I cried once again - If you don’t risk it, you’ll never know if it will be worthy. Again with that half smile of his - No, no, no! It’ll hurt! Leave please, leave me alone. I was nearly crying when I lifted my eyes and saw him eyes wide open staring at me, half naked, trying to understand. He turned round buttoning up his shirt, leaving in silence… I’ve arrived at the office, I’ve switched on my computer, talked to my colleges, but his voice and his look spinning on my head. I tried to stop thinking of him, but I felt aroused just with the image of his face. I cursed myself for everything I have done last night, for letting him break my shield, for letting him explore places forgotten long time ago. When I was leaving the building after work I have bumped into someone, a tall man-it seems- wearing a dark suit, with dark hair. He’s smiling and talking to me. Why? That man is touching my face, like this morning, I recognize the soft, warm touch of his hands. His blue eyes… Where‘s he taking me? Why am I following him? Why? I cannot resist the force surrounding him & wrapping me. He doesn’t let my hand go. I feel warm. We have arrived home, he’s kissing me, telling me he’s not going to leave me alone while taking my clothes off, he’s filling up my emptiness. Another morning with his arm resting on my chest, another morning staring at that handsome man I found in a squalid bar, embracing me. I’m not alone anymore. My heart doesn’t ache anymore."

“Omedetou, Ren-chan! So, how’s it going between you and sensei?” Shingyouji asked, grinning foolishly. “Eh?! How do you know about that?” Ren was shocked, his face becoming as red as a tomato. “Let’s just say, a “cupid” hit you hard and you didn’t even see who it was” “WHAT? You were the one to do those letter things? Oh my… you’re so… it’s just unthinkable… but… I want to thank you” Ren said, his eyes shining. Shingyouji noticed the sensei was looking their way, with an expression that you could read as jealousy. “I think Kazuki-sensei is thinking of hanging me for making you blush” Shingyouji teased. Ren immediately turned to the sensei and as their eyes met, Shingyouji could see the sensei really loved his friend. Ren had a sheepish smile on his face while the sensei’s eyes softened. Oh, how he wished his lover would be like that more often. It wasn’t like he didn’t do it once in a while. But mostly at home and only if he was in the mood, which was becoming rare. Shingyouji sighed. When he got home, Shingyouji noticed Misu wasn’t back yet. He settled to make dinner and do his homework while he waited for his lover. There was a sudden brightness, followed by a loud thundering sound. It was raining, heavily raining. Shingyouji looked out the window. He longed to see his lover’s face. He always worried on rainy days. The sound of the door was enough for him to forget his worries. “Arata-san! Okaeri! How was your day? Dinner is ready.” The boy greeted. Misu kicked his shoes off, muttered something and went for the bathroom, leaving a puzzled Shingyouji in the middle of the hallway. He could hear the sound of water and knew his lover went to take a shower. This was what he disliked. These days when not even a proper greeting was given to him. The days when he knew that if he disturbed his lover, he’d be in trouble. On these days, Shingyouji felt like he was nothing more than his lover’s “thing”, something for him to just play with, get tired and throw away. He dreaded the day his lover would get tired of him. His stomach started to hurt, not on behalf of hunger, rather it felt as if it was churning. He decided he’d just go to bed without eating. Sometime after, Misu go out of the shower. Shingyouji hoped the other would see him missing and would come ask if he was okay, would kiss him good night and wish him to recover. But he waited for 3 whole hours and his lover didn’t come. This was the reason he sometimes felt like running away.

Shingyouji woke in sweat, panting and with an unpleasant feeling of uneasiness. Looking to the side, he could recognize his beloved’s sleeping form, completely unaware of the sudden change of weight on the bed. Shingyouji got up and went to take a shower, see if he could calm down. As the droplets of water fell on his skin, the dream seemed to replay on his mind. Shingyouji hit the wall, tried to forget by turning the water freezing cold, sighed and stood there, tears falling unbidden. He picked the towel and dried himself, looking into his red eyed self in the mirror. Images from the dream came back and he found himself punching the glass, shattering it and drawing blood. Slowly, blood covered his hand and soon was falling down his arm, like a crimson river. Misu was startled by the sudden noise of glass breaking. Seeing his puppy was not in bed, he got up and quickly rushed to him. He found the boy on his knees, his hand a fist full of blood and pieces of the mirror around the ground and the sink. “Shingyouji…? What happened? Why are you…” he started but instantly fell silent as he saw tears in his lover’s eyes. He crouched near the boy, cleaning his wound carefully. He picked the first aid kit, near the tub, and started to take out pieces of glass that were mixed with the blood and flesh of his puppy. Shingyouji seemed petrified; he would not move or say a thing. He was there, kneeling while Misu cleansed his wound, not once complaining about the pain he was feeling. Misu finished putting bandages around the harmed hand, kissing the boy’s forehead before pulling him up into an embrace. “Are you going to tell me now what’s wrong?” he asked ever so softly, but loud enough for the boy to hear. Shingyouji finally reacted, burying his face on the crook of the other’s neck, inhaling the sweet scent that emanated from the exposed skin. “I guess not yet. Let’s move to the living room then? I’ll go fetch some clothes for you and prepare breakfast” Misu said, pating the boy’s head gently. Shingyouji merely nodded, his face bearing an expressionless sight. He sat on the comfy couch, looking at the scattered papers lying on the small table. He turned his gaze to the clock hanging on the wall. It marked six in the morning. A sudden sound coming from the hallway distracted him from his musing. “Shingyouji, breakfast is ready and here are some clothes” Misu announced, a bundle of clothes on his hands. Shingyouji managed a small smile and accepted the clothes, poising them on his lap but not making any further action to actually dress them. What can it be that shook him like this, Misu pondered, was it a nightmare? He knew Shingyouji sometimes had these weird very realistic nightmares, but rather than destroying the mirror, he usually would just wake him crying or with a scream. It was rather unusual for the calm and cheerful boy to behave the way he had a moment ago. Misu managed to pull the towel away and start dressing the younger one. He was tempted to take the boy right there for it was a sight hard to deny, yet it was not the time and especially not the right moment for that. He dressed the boy like he was a child and nudged him to eat. It feels so wrong to let him go to school looking like this, he thought. “Shingyouji… you’re not going to school today and I’m calling in sick for the day, let’s go somewhere and cheer you up a bit. What do you think?” Misu suggested. Shingyouji’s eyes lightened a bit. “I would love to” he answered, his voice hoarse from crying so much. “Okay then, it’s decided” Shingyouji smiled and Misu’s only thought was that it’d be okay.

Part I (of II) of chapter 19 of S-CONSCIOUS is up! http://nezumidoll.livejournal.com/10624.html

Chapter 2 Miakatsu reached over to flip off his alarm seconds before the device was due to chime his morning wake up call. Just like every other morning he had set it a half an hour before everyone else would even think of waking up. He quickly glanced over his unwanted roommate to see Haiake sound asleep. Perfect. He’d be able to slip out without being noticed. Pushing the covers off the vampire slipped into his house shoes and pulled on his black satin robe. He lit the candle on his bedside table and quietly slipped out of the room before making his way down the hall towards the back staircase. “You’re up a little early don’t you think?” Miakatsu froze in mid-step. He never expected someone else to be awake at this hour, specifically Kaisuke. “You shouldn’t be talking. Why aren’t you in bed? You have class and a mission tonight don’t you?” He turned around to see the black-haired vampire dressed only in sleep pants. Kaisuke leaned against the hallway wall and folded his arms in front of his bare chest. His sapphire eyes seemed to flow in the fading moonlight. “I was on my way downstairs to get something to drink. So I have a legitimate excuse for being up. Besides I don’t have to be in class till this afternoon.” He glanced around before focusing on the other vampire. “What about you? What are you doing up?” “I couldn’t sleep.” It was the first excuse that flew in to his mind and out of his mouth. “Is everything okay?” Kaisuke asked worriedly. “The last time you couldn’t sleep a fever followed. You hadn’t fed properly. I hadn’t seen Tozouku that scared or worried before in my life.” Miakatsu winced at the memory. When he had first joined the Blood Knights, he had been turned only months prior. After running away from his so-called family he had wound up in a deserted alley. His thirst for blood was overwhelming and it nearly killed him. It could only be described as a miracle that Tozouku’s mission had been cancelled because the older vampire had found him and saved him. “I’m fine just a rough night is all. Don’t worry I’m not planning on making an idiotic mistake like that again.” “I wouldn’t really consider it a mistake, you didn’t know what you were doing.” Kaisuke admitted freely. “When we’re first turned we’re no better off then feral animals.” “Kaisuke’s right you know.” Tozouku said as he approached the other two. “Miakatsu, Kaisuke is everything all right?” Kaisuke cleared his throat. “Everything’s fine. I was just heading back to my room when I ran into Miakatsu.” Tozouku nodded. “I see.” He turned his attention to Miakatsu. Miakatsu sighed. “I was planning on going up to the roof. I want to watch the sunrise again.” There was no point in beating around the bush when it came to Tozouku. He would have found out sooner or later. “Besides it’s not that early.” “The sunrise? You really should get more rest. You don’t have any missions but I’m sure it will-“ he stopped when he caught Miakatsu’s last word. “Again? What do you mean again?” “I’ve been watching the dawn for quite some time now.” Miakatsu answered glancing towards the window. “It often calms me; especially if I’ve had a tough night and I will put last night under the ‘tough category without any hesitation.” “I see.” Tozouku nodded placing a hand on the young vampire’s shoulder. “Well if you still wish to witness that welcoming sight you still have time. In fact I believe I will join you.” “Me too.” Kaisuke spoke up. “I don’t think I’ll be able to go back to sleep even if I wanted to.” He looked behind him. “Think we should see if Haiake would like to join us as well?” Miakatsu winced at the mentioning of the other vampire’s name and was about to protest. Tozouku beat him to it. “No he needs his rest. I’ve noticed he hasn’t been feeding that much lately and to be honest it’s worrying me.” Tozouku said leading the others up the stairs. “That reminds me I must speak to the Chief about a new supply. We’re running low again.” He muttered to himself more than to the other two. Miakatsu scoffed, “Like I said; careless. You know if that guy didn’t have us around he’d forget how to act like a normal vampire.” Tozouku stopped in his tracks. “A normal vampire?” he turned around and looked down at the shorter vampire. “I’m curious Miakatsu. Would I be too bold in asking what your definition of a normal vampire is?” “Well I uh-“ Miakatsu then spent the next few seconds, mouth opened with no words exiting. Tozouku glared. “That’s what I thought,” He responded before smiling seconds later. “I’m pulling your leg Miakatsu. Calm down. We need to hurry if we want to catch the sunrise.” Silently he climbed the remaining stairs and headed towards the attic door. “Hurry up the sun won’t wait for anyone.” Miakatsu hesitated before allowing himself to relax. None of them knew when Tozouku was acting or being serious so he wasn’t taking any chances. “Coming.” He headed up the stairs with Kaisuke trailing close behind. “Hey Miakatsu, next time you decide to sneak up here try not to be so obvious.” Kaisuke suggested. “I’ve heard you walk past my room nearly every morning for the past two weeks. I will admit though it was coincidence that I met you in the hallway.” “Well if what was bothering you why didn’t you ever say anything or try to stop me?” Miakatsu asked. He glanced up when he heard the trapdoor to the roof creak open. Kaisuke shrugged as he climbed up the ladder and through the door. “I never said it did bother me. But unless you want to enjoy your following mornings like this I’m saying you should ‘watch your step’ from now on.” “Hurry up you two.” Tozouku said as he reached out his hand to help Kaisuke up then Miakatsu after. Once all three of them were on the roof they looked towards the east in time to see the beginning shades of violet and red cascade across the horizon. Kaisuke stayed silent for a few minutes before letting out a low wolf whistle. “That is quite a sight, definitely and eye-opener.” Tozouku nodded. “I agree; quite a calming welcoming sight. I see why you have developed this into a habit Miakatsu.” Miakatsu didn’t answer. His eyes were focused only on the developing light in the distance. “He’s gone.” Kaisuke pointed out chuckling lightly. “I believe your right.” Tozouku agreed quietly. “Come let’s let him be for now. We’ll head downstairs, I want to check up on Haiake.” Kaisuke nodded following the older vampire down the ladder and back into the attic. “Tozouku?”