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The company which provides us the server decided to bring the server down for an unscheduled check of its file system. I'm sorry, I wasn't notified before, so, I couldn't announce it. I'll create a Twitter account so that I can post the notifications there when something unexpected appears. Sorry again for the inconvenience!

Original name: Furachi na Ai no Uta Manga ALT. names: 不埒な愛の詩 IT (KYOGOKU Kaoru) Wicked Love Song Written by: Kyogoku Kaoru Drawn by: Kyogoku Kaoru Original run: 2004 Description: "A" and "B" met at the paradise-like Northern islands; "A" turns "B" into putty in his hands, using honeyed words and an aggressive attitude, but "A" is actually a selfish player! He wants to have both his fiancee and "pig mouth" at the same time, but this causes "B" to fall into an abyss of pain. Caught in this sad three person relationship, will "A's" final decision shock everyone?! Ch01-03: IT A free-spirited and flamboyant high-school surfer, Yuuto, is best friends and best enemies with his 'second-in-command' Iusagi. Together with Aminato and Satori, they form a tight, happy-go-lucky clique. Well, until Yuuto discovers, to his bewilderment, that not only is Iusagi gay, but that Iusagi is into HIM! Of course, all it takes is a little encouragement from Iusagi, and timely interfering from the other two nosy sidekicks for Yuuto to see the 'light'. ^.^ Manga-type: Manga Published by: Digital Manga Guild / Dramaqueen Group(s) Scanlating: Nakama Status: Complete Completely Scanlated: No Completely Translated: No Genres: Yaoi, School Life Categories: Rivalry; Love Triangle; Main Characters: Aminato, Satori, Yuuto READ Furachi na Ai no Uta ONLINE: Furachi na Ai no Uta Download Furachi na Ai no Uta Manga Furachi na Ai no Uta For download re-upload requests, post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

The problem is solved. I disabled the Activity stream. It seems it had some conflicts and was generating that error.

kyaaaaaaaaaaah I got to see yoji-sama and june-chan!!! xDDD so cute june :Red_fox7: and master is pretty! well as for me... were the best pics I had *blushes* ... *goes hide under the bed*

With the new activity stream system you can easily track your friends' activity. In the activity stream you'll get notified when your friends: open a new thread post something leave a visitor message create an album add new pics to their album join a group leave a group message There are 2 ways to check the activity stream: I. In the navbar, after the New Posts. This will display the activity of all your friends (a total of 50 entries) II. If you want to check the activity of a certain user, go on that user's profile page and click on Activity Stream

O.K. So it North Carolina... I naver been there... --;; Well I only went to N.Y city and Atilanta and Ohio... That is only part I went to in State... Even I in Canada... I only went to hand full of place... --;; I still don't know how many Japanese people live in North Carolina... Well even there are Japanese you just had to know if they are more then 3th gen. they might not know much about Japanese... --;;; Any way even it will take time... you are coming... so I wish good luck on moving... It is so much work and also getting use to new place is hard... So I wish you all the best in moving... I never did that... first time I saw was they use in fan drawing... They draw cheracter and put the finger over and looks like pulling the cheracter or squishing, pinchin so on... That was funny to me... but then I saw using a person I was what!!!! --; Well now I am used to it... I don't think I want to that... --;

I never thought about showing my face here... I will don't like to show... --;;; I might change the picture in few day... ^^;;; So... watch out... ^^;;; Well I took this picture almost 10years ago... But didn't change much... well hair is little longer and lost some weight... ^^;;; Any way... I was still young at that time... --;; That is reason... ^^ One more thing... I am not a man... --; Some people think that when they see this picture... --;

Today update... I just can't do much... --;;; They post the charming line on movie rainbow... The idea come from that favorite scene they ask for... They put the script part on post... I just can't read Japanese yet... --;;; but... still I will post it... --; top three... three... 1. Gii kissing Takumi in classroom... ^^; 2. Gii telling Takumi Suzuki is nice guy and cry Takumi back hug... 3. Beach kiss scene Top 2... Morita make prism in Suzuki's room later part... Top 1... Libraries scene... but... it wasn't in the script... --;;; So... they put the scene when Gii try to make love to Takumi but Takumi said about if someone find they might have to leave the school and Gii got upset and go back to bed scene... ^^; Well that was what it was at blog... I will I could do more on this... but... I can't... ㅜㅜ First... Mao-kun doing Heat up eve with Takiguchi now... or they are finish... --;;; Mao-kun put one picture before they are go for the show... Dai-chan... today was his day off on practice but still had other thing to do... Also, he went to his agence... I think now Dai-chan will have more work he has agence... just hope it good one... ^^; Taiki didn't post any yet... if he post any picture I will post it later... ^^

Well name is just one of thing... when you start to understand more about the culture... It will be much easy for you to understand everything around... ^^ I think the best place will be Time square... Also, that the place I think Taiki did that... ^^ Well I will do like the way you guys love the Taiki... and I don't have problem with calling him bunny... ^^ Just some time I just start with 4D image... or my other personality come up... --; As start to thinks in deeper... --; Well I just had to use the personality with don't care part to come up on that time now on... ^^; So don't worry about it... I know you guy just want to get close to him as fan... I just have to put that deep image personality to go to sleep when I read that post now on... ^^ Well you are right that really isn't matter... long as they are not his enemy... --;; I believe thay are not.. some of them or all of them are from Tenimyu members... Even play as same team members... I just remember just looking at that picture agine... ^^ Bring back my memory on them playing in Tenimyu... may be watch agine... ^^; Well I am sorry... --; My deep thought or deep image personality some time come up and go deeper then I should think... --; So now on I will put that personality into sleep when I start to read this side post... ^^; I do love you guy to talk about Taiki as bunny and want to be with him and so... Don't mind about me... ^^ I will be fine... long as that personality of me just stay low and go to sleep for some time... --;

wuahhh~~~~yojichan juz made one-page-long review....should i post it anywhere??...lol and nothing else i could add in becoz we think everything the SAME!!! diz is the 1st BL movie that mad...sad...and glad...lol itz juz TOO AWESOME!!!!... lots of my friend who r not BL fans watched diz movie one and only...^^ I JUZ LOVE DIZ MOVIE SO MUCH!!!.... and i think my friends too...one of them didnt return my pendrive which contain the movie...=='''

aaaaaah! what a great movie review right here. i really enjoyed reading. likewise i feel the same way for the cinematography. it's come a long way since the previous films. no more shaky camera scenes. and i love the weather and mood of the film. it looks like it's gonna rain or something making everything look soft and nice. there wasn't a single awkward scene between Misu and Shingyouji. Baba-chan and Taiki really were amazing. Honestly, when I saw the trailer...I was kinda worried about the choco kiss scene. But when I finally got to see the movie...I was like...OMG! THAT WAS SO HOT! I love how Baba really controlled the scene and how smooth Taiki followed through. You can replay that entire scene over and over and you still end up loving each second of it. When he hugged Baba, you could feel how overcome he was with his feelings. We're all here watching and we feel the hug. wow. It must be totally cliche for me to say that I absolutely adore each and every Misu and Shingyouji scene. What's not to like? Like you said, they were on fire. They totally made the entire movie experience worthwhile. They balance each other out. We feel love. We feel the sadness. We feel our heart squeezing. I can never tell how many times I kept saying: "OMG...He really loves him." it was unmistakeable. it was all there. Hai. I totally agree the entrance exam scene was brilliant. I cannot forget Taiki's worried face like he was gonna fall apart when the teacher called him out. And that blink he did when he got to take a peek of the other boy's test paper. classic. You nailed it...people acting well with little dialogue. acting with their eyes and just expressions truly is a mastery. I first watched it before it was English-subbed and I was in complete awe of it. I didn't understand a single word except for suki desu and a few simple random Japanese expressions here and there. But the way Baba and Taiki performed, they crossed the language barrier and we felt everything. Finally watching it in English sub confirmed all the strong feelings we've felt for them all along. It was really like that for me. I immediately felt the connection with what they wanted to express. I love when Taiki changes his expressions from happy, excited, sad, surprised, scared How Baba can be so cold one moment and then thoughtful to sweet What amazes me is that they did try to eastablish that Misu and Shingyouji have a physical relationship in Bibou no Detail. But after watching Pure....oh wow. They convinced me so much and I'm sure a lot of people too that they really did share a physical relationship which I think is another brilliant performance when there was not a single bed scene anywhere in the film. But we felt it. The kiss. We got the sexy choco kiss. We all saw that sliver of saliva, right? I don't think that can be rehearsed. It really happened. Yup! that's DNA sharing right there. woohooo!!! then there's the most unforgettable and super hot kissing scene in the dressing room. that is the one of the best kissing scenes I've ever seen in a BL movie EVER. if there is a Best Kiss in a BL movie award...I'm awarding it to Baba and Taiki. nothing about it is faked. we were not cheated into seeing only the back of the head like in some BL movies. or just a bump of the mouths and then it's over. this was a searing hot kiss they shared. they poured EVERYTHING into that kiss which only totally confirms the kind of relationship they actually share. A relationship that's theirs alone. The kiss was so amazingly good...my friends and I were watching it on loop. None of us could get over it. We were so hooked. it was also one of the most poignant scenes. remember that shingyouji said, misu does not smile for him but in the dressing room...he just did. you could feel shingyouji looked like he was going to cry with happiness. and how earnest his eyes became and telling him so passionately..."Suki desu, Arata-san". The scene that made me cry..was when Shingyouji was talking to Hayama and he told him about his wish for Tanabata. I had to pause right there because tears were really running down my cheeks. It was an incredibly touching moment. I felt like I wanted to reach out to him and hug him. He really loved Misu yet he tries to smile...laughs like it's okay. You know fully well it's not okay but he tries to hide his pain. waaaaaaaahhh!!! my other favorite scene was when Misu was talking to Toshihisa. that was a very revealing scene because in a way Misu saw Shingyouji in Yoshizawa. When he was assuring him that Takabayashi was not into Gii, it was like he was reminding himself that there was nothing between him and Sagara-san. I love the parallel of it all. and then him reprimanding Takabayashi to be more considerate of Yoshizawa's feelings. In a way, he was really reminding himself most of all. It's one of the most beautiful BL movies ever made. It captured romance, angst, drama, and all that hanyan moments you could embrace. I have never been this seriously captivated. They truly inspired me. I've watched it for 7 times already and I am STILL affected every time. It still makes me cry.

I thought about made download of this calender but... It better to see this way so I just post it... --;;; I hope you like this... ^^;

Title: Maid Hajimemashita: Goshujinsama no Osewa Itashimasu Genre: Love ADV/Yaoi Rate: 18+ Released in: 2007 Format: rar Platform: PC Plot: The action of the game begins in a torrid day when Akagi Ritsu suffers inside the hose from heat and idelness. Suddenly the bell on the door rings and the visitors are three unknown men. Akagi finds out that these three men are the sons of the family for which his mother works. They came with a proposal: Akagi would replace for a week his injured mother and work as a servant in their house. Download Maid Hajimemashita: Goshujinsama no Osewa Itashimasu Yaoi Game Maid Hajimemashita For download re-upload requests, post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

Born: March 8, 1971 Fukui Prefecture, Japan Nationality: Japanese Blood Type: B Gender: female Occupation: Manga artist (yaoi manga) a popular yaoi manga-ka (Japanese comics creator). Although Nitta was already a fan of manga, she was introduced to yaoi manga when she was in grade five, by an older girl who was her neighbour. Her first manga story, "GROUPIE", was published by Biblos in 1997. She believes in characters not always having to be the seme or uke, and her Embracing Love has been called the first title available with a "reversible" couple in English. In 2008 it was reported that Nitta had infringed upon the copyright of advertising photographs by tracing them for illustrations in her manga Embracing Love; she subsequently apologized for the misuse, as did her publisher. Nitta attended the 2002 Yaoi-Con and the 2006 New York Comic Con but cancelled her planned appearance at the 2008 Yaoi-Con in the aftermath of the tracing scandal.[from Wikipedia] Her illustration debut was in 1994, in 小説Charade. She is one of the few Boys' Love manga-ka whose works are enjoyed by both straight women (the main target audience) and gay men. Her manga debut was Be-Boy's 1995 release of "Groupie." Recently she temporarily quit writing manga after a scandal involving her plagiarism of many magazine photographs. According to The Yaoi Review (2009-12-31), she is back with a continuation of an ongoing manga to be released in English in February.[From Baka-Updates Manga] Bibliography: ~ Manga ~ - Groupie, 1997, 1 volume(Complete) - 男が男を愛する時 (When a Man Loves a Man) Series, 1997, 9 volumes(Complete) - Drama, Romance Series includes -When a Man Loves a Man (1 volume), -Last Waltz (2 volumes), -Nightcap (1 volume), -Irokoi (3 volumes), -U:V (2 volumes) - 春を抱いていた (Haru wo Daite Ita - Embracing Love, Embracing Spring), 1997, 14 volumes(Complete) - Comedy, Drama, Mature Romance Licensed in English as Embracing Love by Be Beautiful - ホワイトブランド (Howaito Burando - White Brand), 1998, 1 volume(Complete) - Drama, Mature, Shounen Ai Licensed in English as White Brand by Juné - 美味いもん食わせろ！ (Umaimon Kuwasero! - Give Me Something Delicious To Eat! ), 1998, 2 volumes(Complete) - Drama - カジノ・リリィ (Casino Lily), 1999, 1 volume(Complete) - Drama Licensed in English as Casino Lilly by Be Beautiful, but never released - 17 Guyz, 2000, 1 volume(Complete) - School Life - 僕の声 (Boku no Koe - Sound of My Voice), 2004, 3 volumes (ongoing) - Drama Licensed in English as Sound of My Voice by Be Beautiful - 舞踏会の手帖 (Butoukai no Techou - Un Carnet de Bal), 2006, 1 volume - Drama, Historical - 公使閣下の秘密外交 (Koushi Kakka no Himitsu Gaikou - His Excellency the Foreign Minister's Secrets?), 2006, 2 volumes (ongoing) - Drama Licensed in English as The Prime Minister's Secret Diplomacy by 801 Media - オトダマ - 音霊 (Otodama - Otodama: Voice From the Dead), 2007, 3 volumes (ongoing) - Drama, Mystery, Psychological, Shoujo, Supernatural Licensed in English as Otodama: Voice From the Dead by DokiDoki - キスアリキ(Kisu Ariki - Kiss Ariki)2010, 1 Volume (Ongoing) - Romance, Smut - Spiritual Police, 2011 unkown ~ Oneshot ~ - Double Play, 2010, Oneshot (Complete) - Drama, Shounen Ai ~ Artbook ~ - Kiss of Fire (Embracing Love artbook), 2004, 1 volume(Complete) Licensed in English as Kiss of Fire by Digital Manga Publishing ~ Doujinshi ~ Haru wo Daiteita dj - Both 2003 Haru wo Daiteita dj - Eiswein 2000 Haru wo daiteita dj - Gigolo extra -- Haru wo Daiteita dj - Japalish 2002 Haru wo Daiteita dj - Kiss of Fire 2000 Haru wo Daiteita dj - Loop 2001 Haru wo Daiteita dj - Love Squall 2004 Haru wo Daiteita dj - Spiral 2002 Youka Nitta's official English site: http://nittayouka.com/ [info from Wikipedia & Baka-Updates Manga] Her work '春を抱いていた (Haru wo Daite Ita - Embracing Love : Cherished Spring)' was made into OAV for 2 episodes. Also from Haru wo Daite Ita '冬の蝉 (Fuyu no Semi - Winter Cicada)' was made into OAV for 3episodes Also, game was made from '春を抱いていた (Haru wo Daite Ita - Embracing Love)' call Gigolo. It's hard to chose one manga for fanclub... I think is best to go for the manga-ka... So any one who love her work let talk about it... here... ^^ here are some of picture I capture from her old homepage... ^^

yeah toshihisa was Takumi's previous roommate (before Gii and Misu) O.O oh my you're tht small????? how old are you may I ask? xDDDD but it's such a cut height!!! makes me want to cuddle you!!! I'm like... 5 feet and 25 inches... I think... oh my, where i'm from the height is in meters and centimeters not feet and inches.. but I think I made the conversion right... and I rly want to cosplay from the series... but rly which one do I look like most? (face ofcoz) and June-chan: I sooooooooo wanted to see u with bunny or kitty ears!!! must be so kawaii!!! :3 I've only ever dressed up in Carnival... x.x like as clown, princess, maid, spanish dancer I think... and idk wht more xD but just silly childish things ._.

Yojichan.... Great review from me? No YOUR REVIEW IS AWESOME. Yes I agree with everything you Just said.Yea Baba is such a great actor. Like you said controlling the scenes with so much professionalism. I love talented actors. Everyone was so good! Lol Yea I looped that kiss scene in the dressing room scene. I was totally not expecting that. Amazing chemistry. So yea not much to say, I'm completely with you in your review. ^_^ V

ahaha...u lookz like an anime which i forgof its name...^^ and a bit like toshihisa...but ur air is sooo cool... so wild....u might not lookz like shingyouji but wow...i luv ur hair...lol

'kay I won't be too humble... I guess since they were the best shots I was quite cute... those pics were from 2 years ago xDDDD right now I'm not so cute... besides my hair isn't in a natural way straight, I had gone to the headdresser those days... my hair is soooo curly.... and it's short at the moment soooooooo... I do wish I had hair like urs june-chan! oh a thought crossed my mind *.* I want to cosplay takumi-kun !!!! xDDD it would be soooooooooooo nice *drools* but my my, where to get a uniform like tht? I can't even sue so x.x the wig wouldn't be a problem... wht would every1 cosplay of? I bet yoji-chan would go for misu-kun or shingyouji xDDD

daijobu ne~~itz juz giving a cute name to the people i luv is my weird habit.. i remembered calling my ex as Miko or Chico...lol and im sorry if it makes u feel uncomfortable but i hope u understand...^^ and our love to Taiki is juz too great and it makes us crazy bout him... well again glad u understand us...and if we talk weirdly again please dun mind us and dun think too much coz itz bad for ur health... im so sorry is my 4D makes u feel uneasy...i hope u understand...*hugs* well...im sorry if our love towards Taiki bordered u...^^

Your welcome!!! ^^ Well when you get there and take the picture let us know how it go… You know even you plan on some thing don’t go as plan... --; I don’t know what will happen... Some time they do auction on but, so far I didn’t hear any thing about that from the hp or blog... So we have to see... ^^ For that bag... only chance you will get it trying to find the info about the bag and buy for your self... --; The book Gii reading... I just had to find the title first and look from that... If is new book it’s not hard to find... but, it was out little long I might have to look in the used book store for it... --; For this name calling... kooly87 said close. Well calling last name is when you don’t know the person that much or by the respect they call in last name. So even you are close friend but in public you some time had to call your friend in last name because of that respect thing. But, in private time or in private place you will know if this two person is close or not by how they call each other... Funny thing is one person call by first name even nick name but, the other call last name... In this case is one or the other... Person who is calling last name like the person(one side) or don’t like... ^^; Well you are BL fan so you should know by reading some of BL manga... So name calling is not just how close you are from other, there are more into it… --; As I said to yojichan… you got the good idea. Just there is little more into the name calling. --; More of this... Hum… I said not Baba-kun is worry... Taiki himself had to careful... --; Please... not the cage... I know how much Taiki is cut but he isn’t a bunny... --; Well I know you guys just talk… but, as I said before... I start image what you guys talk... --;;

oh and yoji-sama, do you know any other nice songs I can make vidies from? :X I'll make more M x S vidies for you if u tell more songs xD

well yojichan is pretty while im still having baby face..==''' ahaha...well my chinese is not so gud and u'll to wait a bit longer becoz we'll have monthly test in few weeks...*dammit*... hehe....sshhhh...*as promised* im listening to my beloved fanvid song rite now...^^ and playing with my bunny ear...lol surely im gonna sleep at scholl today...>.

kyaaa...en~en yojichan is pretty isnt it??? lol and sankyuu...ahaha...well tht pic was taken nicely...^^ na~~pussy~pussy no need to hide...u looked pretty too...>w

your gf is really really pretty :Red_fox: I'm envious on you :leaf4:

KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I went to see!!! june is soooooooooo cute and yoji-sama is soooooo pretty!!! can't say same from me...

ahaha ahree with u...the cinematography in diz movie really improved a lot from the other movie...all the scenes are amazingly beautiful and i juz dun feel enough watching diz movie...and the actors is awesome!!! i am very impressed with all actors especially baba chan and bunny taiki.... i could feel their deep emotion cant cant avoid from getting tears....i feel sorry to shingyouji..

LOL...I will do an exception...I will post one pic of my girlfriend...:leaf4:..... If this is okay...click here to see her

Unbelievable indeed! That's so unfair! foxy5

Arigatou *____*

Title: Trouble Love Candy [トラブル・ラブCandy] Mangaka: KANBE Akira Genre: Yaoi Length: 1 Volume (4 Chapters + Extra) Scanlator: Yasca Translation Summary: The experienced Inspector Kazuhiko and the pre-graduate Michihisa are a loving homosexual couple. But Kazuhiko is always busy and seems to constantly find himself in trouble while Michihisa gets into just as much trouble himself! Frustrated with the little time they have together, Kazuhiko seeks help from Michihisa but the latter, not wanting to bother the already work-overloaded Kazuhiko, continually attempts to solve these problems on his own... Read Trouble Love Candy Online: Trouble Love Candy Download Trouble Love Candy: Volume 1: http://www.mediafire.com/file/ksrcpqca4o6sste/Trouble_Love_Candy.zip For download reupload requests, please post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

huhu~~i heard tht Kirio do a plastic surgery to get eye lid and J.law was so angry... and thtz how the rumour of their split came out..but they r still 2gether..^^ thtz wat i heard becoz im a fan of them too...lol

Thanks BLover..........the pics are soooo lovely... They are indeed a perfect couple....:hamtaro-005 (6):

Game - Gigolo - bath Game - Gigolo - recording

Game - Gigolo - bed

Game - Gigolo - car

Un Carnet DeBal Ad...

2008 Kato calendar

2008 Iwaki calendar

linkin park breaking the habit http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BoYjyD5Ojt8 Mirage of Blaze - New Divide.wmv

Totally agreed! Winter Cicada was one of the saddest. I was liking it in the beginning. Great Stuff. But When I reached the middle of it I started to cry like crazy D: Also Ai no Kusabi was one of my first Yaoi Anime and the end really made me cry :( Even tough it was one of the best endings I've ever seen.

hmm thats a good thread rabbit14 when i was looking to a thread about all kind of anime, i saw the word yaoi:2yoyo4:(i didnt know about it that time) then it was written (boys love) with some anime pictures ,i saw Junjou Romantica with all the couples i thought:leaf15: (so cute ,they are holding hands,so lovely, and i didnt have any problem with (gay):5yoyo34: so i went to youtube to see about it :msn_red_fox 6,then i saw a clip of the first ep (when Usagi kissed Misaki) i repeated the scene lots of time and i was excited:Red_fox7: so i decided to download the anime i think Junjou R is the perfect start for yaoi:hamtaro-005 (6):, then i started to enter more and more in the yaoi world, and i started to download the manga first was (Junjou R) and now i have alot of other manga in my hard dick:cuteonion45: (about 30 GB) and i am getting more and more (i download it because there isnt any yaoi manga or anime where i live) :cuteonion51: well,that's my story i hope that wasnt too long:cuteonion50:

I agree with Winter Cicada. But Ai no Kusabi made me bawl. It was my first hardcore yaoi as well DDDD:

@ sarah It's exactly because of their sad atmosphere that they are such intense and amazing stories. I also adore the three of them. Can never get tired of reading/watching them. They are simply too beautiful. foxy3

Kenta Today was going to shit. It had already gone to hell, and things were getting impossibly worse. Ryuu had locked himself in his dressing room and wasn’t letting anyone in. It was our second day on set shooting the band’s new promotional video and it seemed that anything and everything that could possibly go wrong was. I stood outside, leaning against the wall next to the door waiting for the latest tantrum to run its course. I’d never seen Ryuu this moody and even Sora was confused. It was almost like Ryuu was inventing reasons to stay in his dressing room. “Fuck this.” Taking out my key I opened the door to the room. I blinked a few times surprised that it was completely dark. “Ryuu?” There was no answer and a little rush of apprehension had my skin crawling. “Damn it Ryuu, what the hell is wrong with you? Everyone is waiting on you so we can wrap up shooting.” “I don’t care.” I couldn’t pin point exactly where his voice had come from and reaching over I flipped the light switch. Nothing. “Fuck. What the hell did you do to the light?” “Just go out.” I scowled hearing the tremor in his voice. “Are you crying?” “No.” “Liar.” “Just go out!” I jumped surprised to hear him scream at me like that. It wasn’t like Ryuu at all. Something was really wrong and I wasn’t leaving until I figured out what it was. “Shut the fuck up.” I slammed to door behind me, giving myself a moment until my eyes adjusted to the dim light. I could hear a soft sound that I instantly recognized as Ryuu crying. Fuck it all to hell. I was going to beat him. Why the fucking hell was he crying anyway? He’d been the one who’d thrown the hissy fit when the stylist had accidentally burned him with the iron. I spotted him huddled up on the small love seat that occupied one wall. Walking over to the dressing table I flipped the light on and turned to face him. He wouldn’t look at me. Tears were streaming down his face. His make-up was ruined and it looked like he’d ripped the hairpiece out too. “Ryuu . . .” I kept my voice low, trying to get him calmed down. It hurt me more than I felt it should to see him like this. Standing in front of him I reached down to touch his arm and got my hand batted away. “Don’t touch me! Just don’t fucking touch me.” He was sobbing now, the sound piercing me. Fuck. It should not hurt this much to see him upset. It should not make me want to pull him close and do whatever I could to see that brilliant smile again. “Why are you here? Why don’t you just leave?” “It’s my job to take care of you Ryuu.” That seemed to be the wrong thing to say. Ryuu was suddenly on his feet, his face inches from mine. “I am not just a fucking job!” I caught his wrist as he went to leave and shoved him back down on the sofa. I could feel his pulse racing under my fingertips as I stared down at him. “You are going to fucking calm down and tell me what the fuck is wrong or so help me you will not be finishing this PV. I’ll send everyone home and cancel the shoot.” “N-no don’t . . . I . . . I’m sorry.” His voice sounded so small and hollow, so unlike the Ryuu I knew. Letting go of his wrist I sat down next to him. I didn’t say anything, just waiting. It took several minutes but I finally heard him take a deep breath. “I . . . it’s my fault. I can’t even look at him without thinking that it was my fault. I should have just kept my stupid mouth shut. He must hate me. Reiko is upset with me anyway. She yelled at me at the hospital and hasn’t really talked to me since. I didn’t mean-“ “Ryuu . . . it’s not your fault.” I sighed and leaned forward resting my arms on my knees, hanging my head. This again? “Akira has other issues too, we all know that. None of us realized he wasn’t eating.” I felt him shift next to me, his voice barely audible. “He told me he wanted to look good for the shoot. Everyone must think I’m an egomaniacal insensitive jerk. Even the fans are going to hate me now.” I wasn’t sure what egomaniacal meant, but it didn’t sound good. “The fans don’t hate you Ryuu. And no one thinks you are like that. We all failed Akira.” Soft hair brushed my cheek as Ryuu laid his head over on my shoulder. The subtle scent of hairspray and his expensive cologne surrounded me. “I hate it. He’s always been so small anyway, and now he’s just skin and bones. Every time I look at him I get this sick feeling. He could have died Kenta and it would have been my fault. I know he’s doing better now but . . . he’s lost so much weight. His outfit doesn’t even fit anymore. Why do I have to be so stupid?” “Ryuu,” I was careful to keep any trace of anger out of my voice. He was still blaming himself for Akira’s anorexia? I’d thought we’d discussed this while Akira was in the hospital, though it seemed Ryuu was still feeling like it was his fault. “It was his choice. It’s not like you were taking food away from him.” There was a loud sigh and the warmth was suddenly gone. “I know, but it doesn’t change the fact that he acted on something I said.” There was a long silence. “Kenta, I’m sorry. Um . . . can you please tell everyone I’ll be out in a few minutes to finish the filming.” “Sure Ryuu.” I got to my feet and headed for the door. Opening it I turned back to him, but he was already at the mirror trying to fix his hair. I sighed and shut the door behind me. It was just like him to blame himself for something like this. Silly twit. I tracked down the director and had a few words with him. Ryuu had to be handled delicately when he was in this kind of a mood. His self esteem was so fragile it was almost pathetic and it made me wonder why that was the case. The guy had everything. Wealth, fame, looks, girls (and guys) literally throwing themselves at him so why was his self esteem shit? It didn’t make any sense to me. I sat off to the side as they finished wrapping up shooting. Ryuu was his usual smiling, happy, confident self. Watching and listening to him sing always gave me chills. There was just something about his voice, the emotion he could put into it that got to me every time. I’d been a fan of their music before I’d ever met them in person. Knowing Ryuu and the other boys hadn’t changed that, if anything I was even more of a fan now because I knew just how fucking hard they worked. “You guys looked great.” I handed Hasu a bottle of water and a towel, I had a Coke waiting for the other three. I got three smiles and a grimace. Ryuu wasn’t happy. Go figure. I followed them out to the van after they’d changed. Reiko was waiting. Akira immediately went to her and I heard Ryuu sigh. I frowned looking over at him. That had been happening a lot lately. Was he jealous or something? Reiko was pretty hot. A bit too aggressive for my tastes, but that didn’t seem to faze Akira. I bumped his arm with my elbow to get his attention. “What’s wrong?” He shrugged, not looking up at me. “Just tired I guess. Sorry about earlier.” “Don’t worry about it.” I opened the van door for him and waited until the other two had climbed in before getting in myself. Akira was headed out with Reiko. If anyone could whip that boy into shape it would be her. She wouldn’t be above force feeding him if she had to. We dropped Sora and Hasu off at their places and drove back across town to the gated apartment complex that Ryuu called home. He hesitated before getting out. Soft grey eyes regarded me for a moment. “You want to come up?” “Nah, I gotta get home and change. It’s my night to work at the restaurant.” “Yeah, of course. Sorry. See you later then.” I watched him leave wondering why I had the odd sensation that my heart was dropping through my gut.

X/1999. That scene when Subaru kills Seishirou in the end...those words uttered by Sei and only Subaru could hear.. OMG! I went insane!!! I was crying so hard like I lost something so sacred. I mean I didn't even cry that hard when our house got burned to the ground. LOL I was having palpitations. I could not eat. I was too shocked. Much too affected. The images were still fresh in my head for weeks. I was like a zombie. Tears would stream down my cheeks again whenever I would be reminded of it. But I'm better now. Heheh! I am THAT affected because I've been following Sei and Subaru since Tokyo Babylon.

Winter Cicada... oh I was so depressed after seeing it. Why did it have to end like that???? :leaf7:

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