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It's the first time I make a poem... I'm not good at this but... I feel so sad now and I don't know what to do.. I tried to write them down and hope me will feel better... Hope you guys won't laugh at me I suddenly cry…in the middle of night I thought a good sleep …could wipe everything I tried to sing…to forget all the sorrow… But it’s useless … the pain gnawing my heart… Do you know…I feel like getting sick… Of what you did..what you acted and said… I wanna escape from this scary feelings I’m sinking in the despair of love… Could you tell or show me just one time?? Cause I can’t find “me” in your eyes… .. I’m standing by yourside at this moment… Now I really know what I’m scared the most It’s being with you but your heart is far…. … lol it's so short but I really don't know what to write more...

Title: Omerta ~Chinmoku no Okite~; オメルタ Omerta ～沈黙の掟～ Release Date: 22 April 2011 Omerta ~Chinmoku no Okite~ オメルタ～沈黙の掟～ is the latest Boys Love game by Karin Entertainment. Plot: Omerta is defined as a code of silence practiced by the Mafia; a refusal to give evidence to the police about criminal activities. Set in future Japan. Film-noir theme. Modern Tokyo is now a dystopian immigrant city ruled by crime syndicates. Stirring passions between hot-blooded men entangled in hatred, love, betrayal and loyalty. They classified it under: Love and Revenge Hard BL Game (PILP) System Requirements: OS： Windows2000/XP/Vista/7 CPU： PentiumIII 600Mhz minimum （PentiumIII 1Ghz recommended） RAM： 256MB min （512MB recommended） HDD： 3．0GB min （4.5GB recommended） DirectX： DirectX 9.0 Download Links:Part 1 contains a .rar file with the patch on it. Join with HJSplit or 7zip Download Omerta ~Chinmoku no Okite~: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 After installing, copy paste the alsignup patch to the game install directory and just click the .exe icon. Note: Extract the files with winrar. Mount the iso with DaemonTools and install the game. Extract the patch (alsignup_100723b.exe) in the folder with the omerta.exe. Then double click on alsignup_100723b.exe *For a picture guide on how to install it, check this post (by ayachan94) *For Omerta's walkthrough (made by sarah3161) click here For download re-upload requests, post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

this shames me, I think I over worked it, I will try again :leaf9:

This is really moving, sad and makes me want to hug you and never let go. So many great lines though. I love the part "I'm sinking in the despair of love" and "Cause I can't find 'me' in your eyes" I hope you write more but not from having to experience it. T__T

Sensitive Pornograph (uncensored) Anime Title: Sensitive Pornograph Written by: Ashika Sakura Genre: yaoi Number of Episodes: 1 - have 2 part Year : 2004 Plot: Part 1 : The story begins with Seiji Yamada (Voiced by: Kenichi Suzumura), a young shonen manga artist, who develops an affair with a fellow mangaka, who writes hentai, named Sono Hanasaki, who is also his favorite artist. The plot-line develops from Yamada mistaking Sono for a girl. After having discovered him to be a boy, Seiji still falls in love with him, and they have an intimate affair. Seiji becomes distraught when he learns of Sono's past tendencies of sleeping around, and for a time the two become separated. However, they eventually reconcile after Seiji learns of the emotional damage Sono has suffered as a result of being abandoned and used only for sex. Part 2 : The second part begins with Ueno, a student in college, who works part-time as a pet sitter, receiving an assignment to take care of a rabbit. Upon arriving at the specified address, looking for a rabbit named Aki-chan, he finds that there is no rabbit. Instead he discovers a young man bound, naked, in a closet, apparently a sex slave to the man who hired Ueno. Aki-chan is chagrined to realize that his lover/master has created a twist on a sexual thrill situation for himself - he has sent strangers to Aki-chan for sex before, but tricking someone into the apartment is a new twist. Aki-chan knows his master wants to watch from a distance while Aki-chan has sex with the duped Ueno. Explaining that his master will get mad if things don't go his way, and may even hurt Ueno, Aki-chan persuades him to have sex to ..... Download Sensitive Pornograph OVA: Download Watch Sensitive Pornograph Online (HD Quality): Sensitive Pornograph Online For download re-upload requests, post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

Togainu no Chi Anime Togainu no Chi (咎狗の血 | true blood) Based on: Nitro+CHiRAL's game Genre: Action Drama Sci-fi Shounen Ai Summary: After being devastated in the third World War (known as The Third Division), Japan was divided in two. Several years after the end of the war, a crime organization called Vischio has taken control of the destroyed city of Toshima (formerly Tokyo, Japan's capital city), where they are holding a battle game known as "Igura". The main character, a young man named Akira, is falsely accused of a crime. Once arrested, a mysterious woman appears before him, offering him freedom if he agrees to participate in Igura and defeat Igura's strongest man: the king, or "Il-re". The story follows Akira's life in the harsh, lawless Toshima as he fights both to survive and to unravel the mysteries developing around him. (Source: Wikipedia) Download Togainu no Chi Anime: Ep 1 Ep 2 Ep 3 Ep 4 Ep 5 Ep 6 Ep 7 Ep 8 Ep 9 Ep 10 Ep 11 Ep 12 For download re-upload requests, post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

Title: Lovely Sick Author/artist: Ohmine Shoko Genre: Yaoi Warnings: Age gap Groups scanlating: Essence of Purity Scanlation status: 2 Volumes (Ongoing) Status in country of origin: 6 Volumes (Ongoing) Year: 2003 Volume 1-2 Volume 3 (Jpn) Volume 4 (Jpn) Volume 5.a (Jpn) Volume 5.b (Jpn) For download re-upload requests, post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

Original name: みちづれポリシー Manga ALT. names: Drang der Herzen, Michidure Policy, The Path to Love, Traveling Companion's Policy, Uten Kekkou Rule Original run: 2008 Description: Shinohara, who liked to take care of others like a mother, and Nishioka, who loved sweet things just like a kid (with big build), were good friends. Shinohara loved Nishioka, but was totally a coward when it comes to love. He always thought that “this love is impossible” and continued to be Nishioka’s good friend when he blurted out his feelings unintentionally. To Shinohara’s surprise, Nishioka accepted him and they started to go out. But Shinohara was having doubts and wouldn’t want to believe in Nishioka. What should Nishioka do? Manga-type: Manga Series Written by: Kitakami Ren Drawn by: Kitakami Ren Published by: Libre Shuppan Group(s) Scanlating: Attractive Fascinante Status: Completed Completely Scanlated: Yes Completely Translated: Yes Genres: Romance, Slice of Life, Yaoi Categories: Co-workers; Love at First Sight; Hidden Feelings Main Characters: Shinohara, Adaptations available: N/A Recommendations: Kissing, Kakko Warukute Kakkoii Kimi, Happy Days, Koi ni Tsuite, Gerbera Read Michizure Policy Online Michizure Policy Download Michizure Policy Manga Download link removed by scanlator's request

Synopsis The story is about a woman who falls into a coma after a car accident. To revive, the Death Scheduler gives her 49 days to convince three people (apart from her parents) to shed genuine/sincere tears for her. To fulfill her mission, she enters the body of another woman. Plot In "49 Days," Shin Ji-Hyun (Nam Gyu-Ri) falls into a coma after a car accident. Making matters all the more tragic, her wedding was right around the corner. Meanwhile, Song Lee-Kyung's (Lee Yo-Won) soul becomes possessed by Shin Ji-Hyun's spirit. Song Lee-Kyung then comes across Han-Kang (Jo Hyeon-Jae), who was Shin Ji-Hyun's first love. If the three people who truly love Shin Ji-Hyun cries for her within 49 days then she will survive. Main Cast Jo Hyeon-Jae - Han-Gang Lee Yo-Won - Song Lee-Kyung Jeong Il-Woo - Angel of Death Nam Gyu-Ri - Shin Ji-Hyun Bae Su-Bin - Shin Ji-Hyun's fiancee Seo Ji-Hye - Shin Eun-Jung Kang Seong-Min omg..i recommended to you to watch it ...it's so nice..

For the lovely and talented JenovaVII (wish the pic was better >

ylover drawin somethin im usin paint, so bear with the bad drawin :msn_red_fox 14

I am glad to hear that ichii_kun We all love you too!foxy2 And you should definitely try to write more! You are so good :hamtaro-005 (6):

“Huh?” Tetsu is suddenly face to face with a very pinchable Haido. How now, brown cow? Hyde wanting to be a vampire in an art show is totally out of place but aren’t vampires artistic too? Hmmmm…I remember reading about this in high school. I know…but if he dresses up as a vampire, what will that make us? A vampire lair? A vampire den? A bat cave? Are we all going to dress up as vampires like him? They might kick us out of the party. Plus I am sooooooooooo not vampire material. loool I like this part the mosttt...... Your fic is cooollll...It interests me so much... Thank you for posting this...*tight hug* and wish you can post more...I still remember your fic "A day of Dai and Mao"...I reallly love it...

lool... all you guys made me feel sooo touchy from the bottom of my heart.... I has received so many sweet praises, many warm consolations and hugs.... How could I say now?? I love you all.... I will try to live well and forget all the bad things .......

Ryuu I couldn’t stop pacing. I could feel Sora’s eyes on me as he sat on the couch. Hayate and Isao had left about thirty minutes ago and Kenta was in my bed resting. “Ryuu . . . he’s okay. He’s just a little banged up.” “I know!” I flung my arms up in frustration. “He has a concussion though. He just goes out for a drink and five guys jump him? What the fucking hell?” Sora shrugged, his voice soft. “It’s part of his job Ryuu. From what Iesada said it was a rival gang and he was on contested territory.” “Its fucking stupid and you know it.” “I’m not arguing with you about it Ryuu. You knew when you hired him that he hadn’t given up being yakuza.” I flopped down on the couch next to him and crossed my arms over my chest. “It’s just so frustrating. I hate seeing him hurt and . . . something else is wrong. He’s even quieter than usual.” “He did say his jaw hurt.” I shot a look at Sora and he held up a hand. “Hey, I’m just saying. Maybe it hurts to talk.” I slumped down, knowing I was pouting and not caring in the least. “We have a concert this weekend. What if he can’t work?” “That’s not all you are worried about.” I laid my head over on Sora’s shoulder, sighing. “No. I’ll go talk to him in a bit.” I never got the chance. He didn’t wake up by the time I was ready for bed, so I just curled up next to him. When I woke up the next morning he was gone. There was a text on my phone telling me breakfast was on the table and that he’d be back in time for dinner. I figured he was trying to get his bike fixed. It was his only means of getting around. He hated taking public transportation. So did I for that matter. Buses are filthy. I sent him a quick text. I’ll make dinner tonight. One came back just as fast. Don’t you fucking dare. I laughed and typed out my response. My kitchen, means I can do what I want in it. It took him a little bit longer to respond but I laughed out loud. God how I loved that man. Jack off instead. That actually sounded like a good idea. Maybe later. I had stuff to get done before I headed out with Sora to go get his birthday present. It was kind of hard to believe that he was going to be turning twenty-one in a few days. I was going to be twenty one next March. That made me wonder when Kenta’s birthday was. Had I already missed it? I would feel horrible if that was the case. I wondered if he was going to be nineteen or twenty. I honestly wasn’t sure. I’d have to go check his paper work. Some boyfriend I am. Can’t even remember his birthday. It took me thirty minutes to find his stuff. I really did not get Reiko’s filing system. June. Wow and he was going to be twenty. So he was younger. He sure as hell didn’t act it. My eyes dropped down the paper and I realized he had no emergency contact. None. No family. Nothing. It caused a soft pain in my chest. The only contact listed was a woman. A Takemitsu Shiori. The number was for a local parole office. His parole officer? That was his only contact? Why hadn’t he at least put Hayate or Isao was an emergency contact? Or even Daisuike? Or me . . . wait that wouldn’t work. If he was with me and there was an emergency that wouldn’t work. Still yet it got me to wondering, not for the first time, just why Kenta had went to juvenile corrections. From what Akira had told me, no one knew for certain. Not even Hayate and Daisuike. He flat out refused to talk about it. Taking a deep breath, I blew it out softly and put the file back. It wasn’t like there weren’t things I didn’t keep from him. It just worried me. Who was this Rame person and why would he have been dreaming about him? From his reaction it had to be something bad. I gasped and clapped a hand over my mouth as a sudden thought hit me. I didn’t get to dwell on it as I heard the front door open. “Hey Ryuu! You decent?” I scrambled to my feet and trotted out to the hallway. “No, but you don’t care.” I grinned at Sora as he just shook his head. “Go put clothes on Ito, you damn exhibitionist.” “Meh, you’re just jealous you don’t look this good naked.” “Short and hairy?” “Oi! I’m not hairy!” I stomped my foot glaring at Sora, though I couldn’t help glancing down. I did have more hair than Kenta, but he didn’t seem to care at all. Though he didn’t like stubble, which I found rather cute. “And everyone is shorter than you. Giant strawberry colored freak.” “Well if you are going to call names I guess I won’t share the food Gramps sent over.” “Ah! Oh! Kenta left me breakfast!” I’d gotten totally sidetracked. Over breakfast Sora and I discussed the upcoming concert and the set list. As always he was concerned about not overtaxing Hasu. The little guy put his heart and soul into drumming and sometimes his blood. Though after he’d passed out onstage during our tour we were a lot more careful about making sure he got breaks and didn’t play until he was too exhausted to move. Reiko got very -very pissed at me if I did more than two encores. Though, obviously the whole band had to agree to do them. Three was our absolute limit. Usually by the third time, we’d just come out and throw free stuff at the fans. Three is pushing it even for me. You put on an hour to two hour show and three encores can make it last another hour more, easy. That’s a fucking long night, as Kenta would put it. Thinking of Kenta reminded me of something else. “Hey Sora . . . you know Kenta went to juvie, right?” “Yeah I heard him and Akira talking about it. Apparently they went to the same one but just missed seeing each other, different cell blocks. Neither of them talk about it much.” “Yeah, he um . . . kind of let a name slip the other day.” Sora raised his eyebrows at me, the deep green eyes inquisitive. “Really? Good slip or bad slip, you seem kind of . . . upset about it.” “Well . . . that was partly my fault. Sora . . . I-I’m afraid he got raped in juvie.” I went on in a rush seeing the shocked expression on his face. “He did say that something had happened, that someone had tried and he’d beat them up but . . . sometimes just the way he acts reminds me of-“ “Us.” I nodded seeing the pain simmering just behind Sora’s eyes. “I’m sorry to bring it up Sora.” He shook his head, the red hair whipping back and forth. “No, we both went through it. If he did too . . . then you know how to help, right? Or did you want me to talk to him.” “I . . . I was kind of hoping you would. From . . . from what he’s said it was a gang . . . “ “Oh . . .” Sora looked down his voice soft. “I see.” “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought it up. I’m sorry Sora.” I jumped up rushing around the table to grab him in a hug. He let me hug him for a moment before gently pushing me away. “It’s okay Ryuu. It’s been a long time since I’ve thought about it honestly.” I sat back down, watching him intently. “Are you sure you’re alright?” “Yeah.” He nodded his eyes on his empty plate. “Just, if he was gang raped, there are a lot of other things involved. It’s not like what happened with you and Naoki.” “I-I know . . . I was there, remember.” His smile was so sad it broke my heart, tears stinging my eyes. “That had to have been so hard for you Ryuu.” I shook my head quickly, wanting to banish those images. “It was horrible. Utterly and completely devastating, Sora. I couldn’t do anything to help you.” He reached across the table and wiped the tear off my cheek. “You tried and that is all that matters, Ryuu. You are the best friend I’ve ever had. You’ve always been there for me. If you want me to approach Kenta about it I will. Therapy has done wonders for me and maybe he’ll benefit from it too. You know how much you improved after you went. Even after the stuff with Naoki. I promise it will help him if he goes.” “I hope so. Sometimes he just seems so . . . lost and alone even when he’s right next to me.” We spent the rest of the morning talking about less tragic subjects, which I was happy about. Sometimes those things needed to be discussed. I’d had a few people over the years ask why Sora and I had never got together, considering how close we are. It’s simple. I could never, ever do anything sexual with him. Not after what happened to him . . . to us. I love Sora, but he is more of my brother than anything. I wouldn’t have it any different. He was playing a video game when Akira, Reiko and Hasu got in from school. Then it was time to practice. Honestly this was my favorite time of day, other than spending time with Kenta. To get to be with my friends and make music together, there is nothing better. Except being with Kenta. Nothing came close to that.

Kenta I spent the rest of the day tracking down the rest of the leads. Oddly things were starting to point back to the gay bar. “Yeah, the owner was complaining that one of the customers keeps roughing up his escorts.” I frowned listening to the bartender as I sipped at my coke. No rum, unlike Suke. Can’t stand the stuff. This guy was pretty good. I didn’t put the flourishes into my pouring like he did. Maybe if I did I’d get better tips. Or tips at all. Reiko was about the only person that fucking tipped me. “Got a name?” “Nah, you know how they are about client confidentiality.” “What?” “Confidentiality, you know . . . privacy?” “Oh . . . yeah that makes sense.” He shook his head at me a strange look on his face and went back to wiping out glasses. “Anyway, if you need info that bad you should talk to the escorts.” “Fuck no.” “What? You got something against fags?” He raised an eyebrow at me and I almost laughed in his face. “No. Not exactly.” I set my drink down looking at it for a moment. “You heard anything about a guy named Obuchi Rame?” He set the glass down carefully, his eyes narrowing slightly. “Word has it that he made parole.” “Yeah I’d heard that too. Anyone saying anything?” “Not yet but . . . he was only out of juvie for a month before he violated his parole last time.” I grunted. I knew that much. “Yeah, he went to the big boy prison after that.” “What’s your connection with him?” I picked my coke up and took a long slow drink before setting it down and looking up at the man. “He was my cell mate in juvie.” “Oh . . . Oh! Shit man I had a buddy who was in with you guys. Oda? He said that fucker had a sadistic streak, tried to rape his cellmate and almost got gutted. That wasn’t you . . . was it?“ “It wasn’t like that.” Better lie now or my rep was shot to hell and back. “We didn’t get along and I ended up in isolation after a fight with him. The gutting part’s right.” “Shit man.” He shook his head focusing on the pitcher he was filling with beer. He handed it off to a waiter and looked back at me. “So what are you doing out here? Don’t like your new job?” “Huh?” “The bodyguard thing.” “Oh, no that’s easy. The band is fun. They are the biggest fucking dorks you’ve ever met for being rock stars. It’s all the crazy ass fan girls that get on my nerves. Sometimes I think being a yakuza is safer.” He laughed at that and we talked for a bit longer about nothing much. I’d just finished my coke and was getting ready to pay when his eyes narrowed as he looked up and over my shoulder. I instantly tensed, my hand sliding down to my hip, my fingers brushing over the sheath were my knife was hidden. He slowly inclined his head while at the same time moving away from me. “You might want to move.” I spun around, crouching low. An arm swept through the air where I had been just a second ago. I had a quick glance at a dark suit with a white shirt. Lashing out I slammed my fist into his side. He fell back but there were three more waiting. Four dark suits and then I spotted the cream colored suit behind them. Shit. Another gang? But who? No time. I side stepped a lunge but that brought me within range of the other guy. I blocked the punch and landed one of my own. He grunted and staggered back crashing into a table. “Oi!!! Take it outside shit heads!” Like there was time for that. Who the fuck were these guys? Most gangs knew better than to just attack a Kobayashi. I dodged a fist while knocking down a kick aimed at my stomach. Shit! These guys weren’t fighting fair. At this rate . . . fuck! I tried to move back but the bar was in the way. A foot slammed into my chest and I bounced off the bar and directly into a punch. Shit that hurt, my back throbbing as I tried to take a breath. Flinging up an arm, I tried to block the next punch only to realize too late it was a distraction as I was tackled from the side. Stars burst all around me as my head cracked against the bar. After that I didn’t feel a whole lot, just vague impressions of movement and the sound of voices. Then someone was hauling me up and I blinked several times realizing I was being drug outside. Fuck! I tried to pull away and to my complete horror I was bodily picked up and thrown over someone’s shoulder, a bony shoulder that cut into my stomach and made breathing even more difficult. “Oi! What the hell are you doing?” That was the bartender. What did he care? Fuck this hurt. I couldn’t even find the strength to lift my head. It was pounding so hard it was making me dizzy. Then we were outside. The sudden brightness too much, I squeezed my eyes shut and just tried to breathe. “He out?” “Not sure.” “Put him down here.” I was dumped on the ground and then propped against a wall. I really wished I could fucking snap out of it. I wanted to rip these guys apart. “You sure this is the right guy? He’s kinda small to be-“ “No it’s him. See.” There were fingers on my arm and it was lifted, my sleeve pulled back. The small dragon tattoo on the inside of my wrist was the only one I had. “Kobayashi’s crest. He’s one of their enforcers. Boss’ description of him was dead on too.” Boss? So it was another gang. I choked as water was suddenly splashed in my face. Oddly it seemed to snap me out of the daze I’d been in. “I’m gonna fucking kill you fuckers.” I glared up at them, and forced myself to my feet, using the wall for support. There were five of them. Four dark suits and the cream. They all had their hair slicked back and dark glasses on. It was the police batons and brass knuckles that caught my attention more than anything. Cream suit stepped forward and taking his glasses off looked down his fat nose at me. “We are just delivering a message. Stay in your territory and back off the questions.” “Fuck you.” He smirked at me. “No, I think it would be the other way around.” He stepped forward and before I could move had grabbed me around the neck. He slammed me back against the wall. “You will lay off or I’ll tell Obuchi where to find you.” Something must have showed on my face cause he laughed. A low nasty sound. “Yeah . . . didn’t think you’d like that. He’s looking for you, ya know.” I felt my eyes widen. A very different kind of weakness hit me and breathing was suddenly much harder than it should have been. Just thinking about him had my heart pounding. He was looking for me? Then Ryuu was in serious danger. Fat nose was still talking. “So, just stick to following around those fags you work for in that band and stop with all the questions.” I grabbed his wrist and twisted sharply, ripping his hand off my neck. He yelped and had to turn to keep me from snapping his wrist. “They ain’t fags and if you know whose got it out for them you better fucking tell me before I break your fucking arm.” “I ain’t telling you shit, cocksucker!” I twisted harder and then with my foot shoved him into the two guys who were coming up fast. There was a short scuffle, too short and ended with me bleeding on the pavement. Fuck I was not having a good day. *** “Kenta . . . come on man . . . Kenta! Shit!” What was Hayate so pissed about? “Fuck! Isao I’m going to need your help.” I was being lifted. What the fuck was going on? I’d had enough of being carried around today. “Shit Kenta you need to eat more. Never mind Isao, I’ve got him. Did you find his bike?” “Yeah both tires are slashed and somebody keyed the shit out of the paintjob.” “Fuck.” I got my eyes open. “Finally!” Hayate was looking down at me his eyebrows nearly meeting over his nose. “Shit man, who fucked you up?” “Put me the fuck down.” It hurt to talk, my jaw throbbing in time with my heart beat. I didn’t like that as soon as he put me down I felt like I was going to fall right back on my ass. “Some stupid gang thought they could imitate me.” “You mean intimidate.” I glared at Isao. Why did he always have to correct me? “Yeah whatever.” “Intimidate you. Why?” I shrugged and winced. My shoulder was sore too. Probably from slamming into the wall. “Guess they didn’t like me drinking in their bar. What the hell are you doing here anyway?” “The bartender called Jiro, said you’d gotten taken down and drug out. He sent us over to check on you. Good thing we did. You look like shit, Arakaki.” I looked away from Isao feeling like he was looking right though me. “We’ll load up your bike in my truck and take you home. You got money for new tires?” “Yeah. Just take me to Ryuu’s.” I watched while the two of them got my bike loaded into the back of Isao’s Nissan. I was going to kill those guys next time I saw them. It was going to cost me the next months pay to fix my bike.

A rabbit and a wild boar? And the boar is in love with the rabbit? hahaha They are very cute! Mine:

Ryuu I woke in a slight panic. Kenta hadn’t come home last night . . . or rather this morning. I’d stayed up as late as I could but had finally crashed out on my bed. I went to sit up and realized I was no longer laying on top of the covers and something was weighing them down beside me. My eyes widened and I gasped softly seeing Kenta asleep beside me. He was lying on his stomach, the pillow bunched up under his head. Slowly, almost afraid to touch him, I moved the strand of hair covering his eyes. He looked so peaceful and it made my chest ache looking down at him. My relief was so profound it almost made me cry. He was here. Here beside me. Snuggling back under the covers I curled up next to him, just watching him sleep. His hair was still wet and he smelled of my shampoo. I couldn’t stop myself from sliding my hand along the smooth contours of his back and was a little surprised to find that he was only wearing boxers. He never went to bed without wearing both boxers and pajama pants and socks usually. At least he never had when he’d stayed over before. It was entirely too tempting and I wondered if he’d done it on purpose. Why else would he come to bed mostly naked? Licking my lips I moved closer shivering as my erection brushed the smooth skin of his leg. Sliding my hand further down I rested it on his lower back, just above the waistband, waiting to see if there was any reaction. He didn’t so much as twitch. Grinning to myself I slipped my hand lower under the fabric. His skin was so warm and still a little damp from his shower and I wondered how long he’d been asleep. Looking up at his face, there was still no change, his breathing as deep and regular as ever. He wasn’t as heavy a sleeper as Akira but he slept pretty soundly. Maybe I could surprise him. I wasn’t sure why, but I was feeling mischievous and dying to hear that voice again. Sliding my hand down further, I shivered lightly, my skin prickling in anticipation as my finger tip brushed over the area. I froze as he moved his leg a soft murmur coming from the full lips. He’d actually given me better access with the way he’d brought his knee up. I smirked and slid down along the slim form. Why did he have to have such an exquisite body? He was all smooth skin and perfectly sculpted muscle, the odd scar, but that just added interest. I wondered why he never got a tattoo like Jiro or Daisuike. I’d thought that was part of being part of the clan, but part of me was happy that he hadn’t yet. Maybe it meant it would be easier for him to leave it. Leaning down I kissed the smooth skin of his hip as I pulled the boxers lower. He smelled so good. Just the natural smell of him was enough to comfort me . . . or arouse me as the case was now. I resisted the urge to bite that smooth perfect rear, it was just so tempting it was actually making my mouth water. Instead I wet one of my fingers and slid it over his entrance. I wasn’t actually going to do anything, I more just wanted to see if I could wake him up, maybe if he still wanted to continue once he was . . . It slid in without so much as a sound and I shivered thinking about how incredible it had been to have him under me. He was just so tight, even now. I slowly worked my finger in and out and was slightly surprised to hear a low moan. Oh my god . . . I needed to record him sometime. I couldn’t . . . I had to have him. I didn’t want to wait any longer. Leaning up I felt around for the condoms and lube but only found the lube. Damn it. It would have to do for now. I shuddered gasping as I spread the lube over my erection making sure to use plenty. Working my finger around a few more times I slid it out. Crawling up over him I kissed his shoulder. Never had I felt so aroused by a lover. Maybe it was that I felt more connected to him emotionally than I ever had to anyone else. Slowly, gently I pressed against him unable to bite back the moan as I slipped inside. It wasn’t as difficult as it had been last time though it was still extremely tight. He was totally relaxed this time, unlike last time, and I was able to completely enter that incredible warmth. I had to stop once I was fully inside or risk coming right then. I hadn’t got it fully in yesterday, he’d just been too tight. The feel was unreal, the tight heat surrounding my whole length. It was like the heat from his body set my blood on fire, the rush shooting through me. I felt him tense suddenly, his body jerking. “No! Rame! No!” I gasped softly my elation evaporating. Who was Rame? Before I could move Kenta was twisting around the dark eyes blinking rapidly. His voice seemed a bit off, too high pitched and almost scared sounding. “What the fuck . . . Ryuu?”

. . . I will do a better one soon, I promise.

Sekaiichi Hatsukoi OST Genres: Comedy, Romance, Shounen Ai Character/Voice Actor : Nakamura Yuuichi as Hitoru Yoshiyuki Kondo Takeshi as Onidera Ritsu Konishi Katsuyuki as Takano Masamune Sekai ichii Hatsukoi Opening Sekai ichii Hatsukoi Ending

Title: Just Friends? (친구 사이?) CHINGU SAI? Country: South Korea Synopsis: Min-soo is on leave from the military and visits his boyfriend Seok-yi. While having fun out on the town, they run into Min-soo mother! When the Min-soo's mother asks about their relationship, Min-soo replies "... just friends." Watch Just Friends? BL Movie Online: Just Friends? Download Just Friends? BL Movie: Megaupload (Raw) Mediafire Links (English Subbed, flv format, but the quality is quite good) Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 For download re-upload requests, post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

Artist: Alice Blue File Size: 4.02MB ||SendSpace (Re-up)|| Ore no Shita de Akage ~ Alice Blue For download re-upload requests, post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

Original name: Sakamoto Gakari Manga ALT. names: 坂本係 Original run: 2003 Description: Having been dumped ruthlessly by the girl of his dream, Okita Haruto decides that he has had his share of women now. Throwing away his fantasy of going to the same high-school with his (future) girlfriend, he enrolls into an all-boys dormitary high-school. He thought by going to an all-boys school he could have all the time and peace of mind to focus on his study. He's tremendously, horribly, pathetically... wrong. Manga-type: Manga Written by: Watanabe Yoshitomo Drawn by: Watanabe Yoshitomo Published by: Hakusensha Group(s) Scanlating: Sweet Lunacy Status: 3 Chapters (Complete) Completely Scanlated: Yes Completely Translated: Yes Genres: Comedy, Romance, Shounen Ai Categories: All-Boys School Main Characters: Okita Haruto Adaptations available: N/A Recommendations: Love Making Read Sakamoto Gakari online Sakamoto Gakari Download: ------- > Complete Enjoy! For download reupload requests, please post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

Warning: this poem is for 18+ I hope you enjoy

Summary: The band is in a meeting planning a performance in an Art Gallery. They discuss the clothes they'll get. After the meeting, Hyde ends up at Ken's place and bedroom. Status: Complete :hamtaro-005 (10): Hyde :hamtaro-005 (22): Tetsu :hamtaro-005 (12): Ken :hamtaro-005 (13): Sakura Rated 18+ for naughty language. “Okay, I called this meeting so we can discuss possible gimmicks we can do for our show next week.” Tetsu adjusted his glasses and clasped his hands together then looked at his companions. Ken was making smoke circles with his cigarettes. Hyde was making a concoction of soda pop and strawberry milk. Sakura was sleeping. “Guys?” Tetsu pretended to ignore their antics for the third time in a row since he announced the meeting. “Why don’t we get some sexy girls do some kind of a cabaret show while we are singing and then they’ll start doing acrobatic moves on us or at the audience then of course they should have cigarettes while they’re at it?” Ken looked at him momentarily putting off his cigarette. “No. You can’t do that, man. That’s just so wrong. There could be kids and lots of old people there and they’re going to get weird and stuff.” Hyde shakes his head and is now tasting his milk soda concoction. “You talk about weird, what the hell are you drinking??” Ken looks at him like Hyde grew another head but suddenly develops a curiosity with Hyde’s little formula. “Sakura?” Tetu looks at the sleeping drummer. “Huh? What? Sure, yeah. Right.” Sakura suddenly is jolted. “So you have something to say?” Tetsu tries to focus at him while trying to avoid looking at the two knuckleheads fighting over Hyde’s mystery drink. “Just one sip, Haido!! What the hell?” Ken is leaning over the shorter man. “DAME! ZEN ZEN DAME!!!” Hyde hugs the tall blue glass to himself. “You selfish short bratty spoiled stuck-up little prick stunted cute-faced little runt!!” Ken yelled. “Oh haha! You just had to say cute-faced, ne?” Hyde grinned. “I always knew you love me Ken-chan.” Hyde stuck out his tongue. “I threw in the cute face so you could give me that damn drink!” Ken demanded. “No!” Hyde is threatening to drink it all to Ken’s horror. “Hand it over!” Ken contested. “No. I made it. You said it was weird. What’s your problem? Leave me alone you overgrown horny perverted chimney-like hot booze-headed sex-crazed idiot monster you!!!” “AHAHAHAHAHAH!!! YOU SAID HOT!!!” Ken almost fell back on his seat. “SHUT UP AND I’LL TOTALLY DRINK ALL OF THIS!” Hyde raised the blue glass with a smirk. Ken immediately looked pale. “FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!! CUT IT OUT BOTH OF YOU PSYCHOS!! DEMMIT!!!” Tetsu stood up and slammed the table and looked crazily at the warring duo. Ken raised his hands in surrender. Hyde puffed his cheeks but still holding onto the tall blue glass securely. “Can we please have a decent meeting for once? This will take just a few minutes of your precious time then you can do whatever it is you’re doing.” Tetsu sat down and tried to sound as gently as possible. “What is that Haido-chan?” Tetsu pointed at the precious possession at the vocalist’s clutches. “It’s soda milk.” Hyde showed him a peek through his fingers while holding the blue glass. “And he won’t even let me taste it.” Ken interjected. “Ken-chan….” Tetsu pleaded. “Oh okay.” Ken rolled his eyes. “Will you let me taste it?” Tetsu eyed him. Hyde looked down and smiled and pushed the tall glass at Tetsu. The bassist took a straw and sipped and slowly pushed the tall glass back to the grinning vocalist. “How was it?” Ken eyed him curiously. “It tastes like….” Tetsu pursed his lips. “Like what?” Hyde’s eyes rounded. “Later.” Tetsu waved at them. “Awwwwww, man…..” Hyde and Ken chorused. “So can we have our meeting now?” Tetsu was actually trying very hard to swallow the drink. It tasted like crap but he didn’t have the heart to tell Hyde. He probably will tell Ken later or maybe not. He couldn’t risk getting Ken on a field day harassing poor Haido-kun either. “Guys?” Tetsu looked at them pleadingly. “hai....” Hyde and Ken chorused again but in a resigned voice. “Okay the thing is we have been invited to this party. Well, actually it’s a art gallery thing and they are doing an exhibition for Takamiya Nogoya’s works.” “Who’s that?” Ken frowns. “He’s an artist, you dumbass!” Hyde baps his head. “Of course, I know he’s an artist but who is he really?” Ken retaliates by tugging Hyde’s hair. “ITAI!” Hyde yells. “GUYS!!” Tetsu ran a very agitated hand to his hair. They keep up with this, we are never going to accomplish anything, I swear. Whatever possessed me to form a band in the first place? WHAT? Oh yeah, because I couldn’t wait to get out of high school. Oh good decision, Tetsu-sama. You’re the coolest! “So as I was saying, this art exhibition is a showcase of Takamiya Nogoya’s works. Now all I know about this guy is he’s an old man. Most of his works have been compared to Picasso. So yeah, he’s that good. He also has a thing for indie bands and has a reputation for supporting them. That’s where we come in.” “Have you met him?” Hyde looks at him curiously. “No I have not. That’s all the information I got from the booker.” Tetsu adjusted his glasses as he took out his yellow notebook. “This is an art gallery show. Aren’t there usually a lot of snobs in those places?” Sakura pulled out a cigarette. “I don’t really know for sure but I’m sure there will be different types of people there. Basically they’re there for the works as well as the music.” “Hmmmm….works, music, lots of people…so that means….FREE FOOD?” Hyde beams. “Gods! Isn’t that all you ever think about? With that tiny body of yours, I wonder where you stuff all your food.” Ken sneers at him as he takes another drag in his cigarette. “I’ll be the judge of that.” Hyde makes a straight face at him. “So I thought we need to do prepare for this occasion. We have about 5 to 6 sets to play. Nothing too loud and just the usual slow tracks we play. I’ve already noted what those songs would be and we’ll practice them later. For now we need to decide what our theme would be.” “Oh you mean what we will wear for the occasion?” Sakura looks at him. “Yeah.” Tetsu nods while looking at his notebook and underlining DORESU. “Oh that’s easy! I’ll dress up as a vampire!” Hyde smiles at them. “Vampire? That’s an art show not HALLOWEEN!” Ken looks at him as if Hyde grew another head. “Well, I’m sick and tired always dressing up in those frilly clothes with all these gunk and ribbons and stuff in my hair. I want to be a VAMPIRE, OKAY? IS THAT SO HARD?” Hyde punctuates each word while poking Ken’s shoulder then looks at Tetsu wearing the most adorable smile he could offer. “Tet-chan, can I be a vampire, please?” “Huh?” Tetsu is suddenly face to face with a very pinchable Haido. How now, brown cow? Hyde wanting to be a vampire in an art show is totally out of place but aren’t vampires artistic too? Hmmmm…I remember reading about this in high school. I know…but if he dresses up as a vampire, what will that make us? A vampire lair? A vampire den? A bat cave? Are we all going to dress up as vampires like him? They might kick us out of the party. Plus I am sooooooooooo not vampire material. “Tet-chan?” Hyde sounded hopeful. “Anou…I’ll think about it.” Tetsu flashes him a tight smile. Hyde sits back and crosses his arms and frowns. “You’re just saying that but you don’t want me to dress up as a vampire.” “Haido…” Tetsu shakes his head uneasy with Hyde’s pouty behavior. Sakura stands from his seat and joins Ken and Hyde on the couch. He puts his arm around Hyde as if consoling a little child. “I don’t think it’s the time and place to dress up as one, Haido. Although I’m pretty sure you’d make a very good-looking vampire-chan.” “You really think so?” Hyde smiles. “Yeah I think so.” Sakura nods. “I think you’d make a gorgeous vampire too, Saku-chan.” Hyde leans closer. “I have a better idea!” Ken crushes his cigarette on the Stop Smoking or Die ashtray. “What?” Tetsu gives him his full attention. Sakura and Hyde also look at him. “Let’s do some body paint. It’s an art thing, ne? So that’s what we’ll do. Or we could role play. I’ll dress up as an art dealer.” “I didn’t know art dealers had a dress code.” Sakura chuckles. “Yes they do.” “No they don’t.” Sakura shakes his head. “Well I’m sure they do and I’m dressing as one. No contest.” “If you’re an art dealer, what am I?” Tetsu frowns. “You could be a curator!” Ken points at him. “So curators have dress codes too?” Sakura was trying to control himself from bursting in laughter. “Yes they do. What do you say, Tet-chan?” Ken grins. “Hmmm….I’ll think about it.” He had to admit at least Ken’s idea though a bit surprising but at least it wasn’t as bad as Hyde’s. He could be curator, whatever that was. “And you my friend!” Ken looks at Sakura. “Yeah?” “You’ll be the work of art!” Ken smirks at him. “I’M A WHAT?” Sakura looks at him aghast. “You’ll be the work of art. There will be some body painting done on your body so basically you’ll be half-dressed in the venue. Don’t worry, man. Hey! It’s not like you haven’t done that before.” “I had random characters written on my face which screamed Perversion, thanks to you.” Sakura rolled his eyes. He remembered waking from a nap during one of their gigs on the road then getting dragged out of the bus by Ken. He also remembered how a mother screamed at him and how strong was that old woman who beat him with a stick. If Ken wasn’t such a good friend, he’d be long dead and gone for what he drew on his face that time. Good times.

So cute!!! I find your drawings very beautiful and unique! :5yoyo34: Can't wait for more! :hamtaro-005 (8):

. .warm welcome hugz emmzichan foxy3 . .just be comfortable here, everyone here is friendly, just hang out with us (hang out???, lol ), join forum discussions or "knock on the chatroom", if you want someone to talk to (lol ), and we'll open the door for you even the window, nyahahaha rabbit6

Hey there sweetie ^^ Thank you for your kindness Hahaha that's good then Yeah thats a good ide ^3^ I love to know you too~ -hugs-

When I am upset I listen to music, but ironically, I only listen to sad music or I talk to a friend... when I am bored I either go out in town or play on PS

Hello! I wanted to say hi and wish you welcome here! onion3

Hello! I wanted to say hi and wish you welcome here! onion3

@leslie . .another movie i haven't seen yet, (wahahaha) CLOUDY was SUPAH thankful to everyone who shared their stuff, now i know what horror movies i've missed (lol) rabbit4

There were many many horror movies I enjoyed... from the ones mentioned above: The Silence of the Lambs, Martyrs, Aliens, Halloween, A Nightmare On Elm Street, Valentine and Friday The 13th. Others would be: Shaun of the Dead (my favorite), Rosemary's Baby, Grindhouse, Zombieland and Saw :Red_fox:

@jenova . .hey, that's totally supah WOW, hahaha, i supah love horror, psychiatric and kinda murder movies and watched alot that's related to the genre, but based from your answers, my obsession is nothing compared to those you'd mentioned, supah thanks jenova-sama , (i think i should start searching some of those ) rabbit16 @reita . .you may not be a fan of horror movies, but what you've shared (actually, i haven't watch those), lol, if that were your favorites, then it only means it has supah thrilling stories rabbit14 , thanks reita-san

Kenta It was a week before I was able to follow up on any of the contacts Isao had given me. Only one turned out to have anything. It was not what I wanted to hear. “Your girl . . . she was paid by a runner. The guy behind it is keeping pretty much to the shadows, but don’t think Ito will be the only one targeted.” The voice over the phone sounded like sheet metal over gravel. Too much booze and cigarettes was my guess. The hacking cough every few sentences kinda gave it away too. “Any fucking idea on why?” “Don’t know and don’t give a shit. Who gives a flying fuck about some dumb ass band anyway? Stupid cock suckers are probably high half the time anyway.” That’s when I decided I didn’t fucking like this shit head, informant or not. The next name on the list found me standing outside a gay bar. I’d never been in one. Wasn’t real fucking thrilled about going into one either. I’m not gay. Er . . . okay so I fucking am. But only with Ryuu. Fucking hell this was stupid. I decided it wasn’t worth it and got back on my bike. “Hey cutie! Aren’t you coming in?” I jerked, tightening my chinstrap too tight and pinching myself. “Fuck.” “Oooh sexy bike for a sexy man.” I turned to see a . . . person walking toward me, hips swaying as long eyelashes batted at me in a way that was a completely fucking disgusting. It took me several long moments to realize I was looking at an escort. A male escort. He smiled at me in a way he probably thought was sexy. Ryuu had him beat hands down and without any of the obvious effort. “Why don’t you come inside with me? I’ll show you a good time.” “If by good time you mean I get to beat the shit out of you for the sheer fucking hell of it, then fine.” His eyes widened and he paled, the lipstick smeared lips trembling slightly. He backed away so fast I thought he was going to fall on that barely covered ass. Teach him to solicit minors. I shook my head and revving the bike took off. I’d look somewhere else for the info I needed. I had other contacts. They might know something. They didn’t but said they’d keep their ears and eyes open. I sighed and closing my phone leaned back against my bike as I looked out at the ships slowly chugging their way toward the docks. I wasn’t getting anywhere and the boys were in danger. Serious danger from the sound of it. Who would target them and why? Maybe I should go back and talk with Isao. He seemed to have the best contacts. I shifted to get more comfortable, the heat from the engine searing through my jeans. As much as I needed the help, I wanted to do this on my own. I wanted to protect Ryuu and the boys. I was their body guard. It was my responsibility. I’d already let Ryuu down so many times. I wanted to get this right. I looked down as my phone started ringing. I raised my eyebrows seeing the number. Why was she calling me? “What?” “You’ve got a problem.” “Like I fucking need another one. What’s going on?” “Obuchi made parole.” I blinked a couple of times. “What?” “You heard me. Keep an eye out. I might be your parole officer but I’d rather not see you get killed. He still talked about you. His parole officer said to warn you after what happened. I don’t know that he’ll do anything, but . . . just be careful Kenta.” I suddenly felt cold, the breeze off the ocean chilling me even with the heat from the bike behind me. “Hai . . . thanks.” “Yeah no prob. Take care of yourself kiddo.” Hanging up I shoved the phone into my pocket and looked out over the water. I couldn’t shake this unsettled feeling like I was falling while still standing still. There was too much going on. I needed time to sit down and think. I just needed some fucking time. Why did he have to get out now? Like I didn’t already have enough going on. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Rame was out of prison.

Oooooh!!! thank you so much for reading my sweet! and I LOVE your emoticons. so cute. I should try using one of those myself rabbit8 rabbit4 I'm so happy you loved this and made you laugh. I really enjoyed writing this. rabbit16

Kenta I woke slowly, blinking several times as I stared out at darkness. I felt disoriented and for a moment I didn’t recognize where I was. Ryuu’s bedroom, there was no mistaking the European style furniture. Ryuu was still wrapped around me, one leg and arm flung over me like usual. Turning my head I looked for the clock. Seven pm. We’d been sleeping pretty much all day. Well after this morning and last night and yesterday, sleeping for ten hours straight felt pretty damn good. I turned my head to look at Ryuu and felt a rush of so many different emotions it was fucking scary. I turned to look up at the ceiling feeling an odd pressure on my chest. Holy shit, I had actually let him fuck me and he had literally fucked me senseless. I’d never imagined I could go off that hard and for that long, I’d thought I was going to go fucking insane. The last thing I really remembered was the feeling of pleasure so intense it was almost painful and not being able to breathe. I gasped softly as my muscles clenched at the memory. That kind of hurt, but in an almost good way. I shook it off. Though the strange sensation of being empty was a bit disturbing, it was like I was super aware of the way my body felt now. Never had paid much attention before. Shifting around onto my stomach I pulled the covers back up. Ryuu mumbled something and wrapped himself back around me. He was warm but it didn’t stop the odd chill running through me. I was still surprised at myself. I’d fought so hard, nearly killed people to avoid doing exactly what had happened this morning. Ryuu had me doing things I would never have dreamed of doing before I met him. What was it about Ryuu? Why could he make me feel like this, this urgent need to please him, to see him smile, to do anything to make sure he was happy with me? It wasn’t anything like my desire to please Jiro, I respected Jiro and wanted him to be proud of me, to find me useful. With Ryuu . . . I wanted him to love me, to want to be with me. I really did. Closing my eyes I tried to get a handle on the strange sensation working its way up my chest. I hadn’t felt like this since Ayame . . . no this was different. I’d loved my sister, I still did. Some days I missed her so much it was hard to think. Turning my head on the pillow I looked at Ryuu. If anything ever happened to him . . . just the thought had my heart clenching painfully in my chest making breathing difficult. I couldn’t lose another person I loved. Reaching out I ran my fingers through the silky hair. I almost had to laugh at myself. Did people usually get this mushy after having sex? Maybe it was just that I’d let him do what he wanted, let him do the one thing that had scared me. I’d never trusted anyone the way I trusted Ryuu. That in itself was kinda scary. I groaned hearing my phone starting ringing somewhere on the floor. It had been in my jeans pocket. Moving Ryuu off of me I sat up and winced as a jolt of pain shot up my spine. Oh . . . that didn’t feel so good and for a second I didn’t want to stand up. The phone was going to go to voicemail and I fucking hated checking my voicemail. Gritting my teeth I got to my feet, mildly surprised when there was no pain, and grabbed up my pants. Sitting back down, I fished the phone out of my pocket getting it answered just before the last ring. “Kenta, hey it’s Hayate. I know it’s your day off but I could use your help tonight. We’ve got a problem down in that area where you were attacked.” Well shit. I did not fucking need this today. Glancing down at Ryuu, I kept my voice low. “Why don’t you call the other guys? I was up all fucking night with Ryuu.” “I bet you were. He doing alright?” I glanced back at the sleeping figure. “Yeah, he’s fucking fine. You sure you need me?” “Yeah, you are one of our best fighters, you know that. Besides you’ve got a rep kinda like Suke. Just having you there will help. It’s those Fudoka punks again. Are you not feeling good or something?” I closed my eyes letting out a slow breath. “Nah, ‘m fine. Just . . . tired. Was on the bike for several hours last night.” “Oh, bet you are sore. That thing’s not made for long rides.” I almost snorted at that. Could take that a couple different ways. “Yeah, took Ryuu out for a bit so he could relax.” “That was nice of you. I do that for Isao when he gets in one of his moods. Usually works, though sex helps too.” I shivered, closing my eyes and took a careful breath. My voice was a bit strained and I wasn’t sure why I had a weird fluttering sensation in my stomach. “Yeah. What time you need me?” “Is now too soon?” “Nah, I need a shower and I’ll head that way.” “Thanks Kenta, see you in a bit.” I hung up feeling a bit disoriented. After last night-er this morning it felt like things shouldn’t be so . . . normal. I needed time to figure out these weird feelings, but there wasn’t time and part of me just wanted to shove it all down and forget it. It was odd to think doing something like that could affect me so much, emotions I’d never felt before surfacing. Emotions I had no idea how to deal with. I turned to look at Ryuu but he was still asleep, the blond hair spread out on the pillow. I put a hand to my chest as the ache seemed to intensify. What was wrong with me? Leaning down I hesitated just a moment before kissing him softly. How could this man make me feel so vulnerable, so defenseless? *** “There you are. I’d about given up on you.” I nodded, tossing my helmet onto the low couch and sat down next to it. My legs felt oddly weak and sitting on something soft was fucking nice after the hard seat on my bike. My ass was sore for more than one reason. “Sorry. Traffic was heavier than I thought.” I’d actually spent too long in the shower, the traffic was an excuse. I glanced up to see Isao peering at me from over the rim of his glasses. I hated when he did that. It was like he knew I was lying and was waiting for me to fuck up. The ride over had been tough. My whole body was sore not just my ass. It had taken a lot more concentration than normal as I’d ridden through town to get to the office. “We are about ready to leave.” Isao got up and walking over sat down next to me. “Are you alright? You look a bit pale.” “Huh? Yeah I’m fine.” “If you don’t feel up to this you should go on home.” I shook my head not sure why Isao was pretending to be concerned. Then again if I wasn’t at my best then I’d be putting them both in danger. “Well if you guys are ready, Korin just sent me a text. The Fudoka are meeting in one of the warehouses.” I got up and bit my lip to keep from gasping out loud. The twinges of pain came at the oddest times and never when I expected it. “Let me get my stuff.” I didn’t keep my knives at my place. I didn’t want them getting stolen. Going through the low entry past the set of desks where Isao and Jiro normally sat, I headed for the case where they were stored. I didn’t have a collection like Daisuike, but my set was nice. I glanced up as Isao came to stand beside me, his eyes running over the various blades. “You are limping.” I jerked my head up to look at him. I was? His eyes narrowed slightly and he turned to face me. Taking his glasses off, he leaned against the case. “Are you still having problems from what happened?” I shifted willing myself to move normally and reaching out picked up my favorite switch blade. “No.” “Then what’s wrong? You didn’t hurt yourself carrying Ryuu last night did you?” Maybe that would be a good excuse. I shrugged not looking at him. “He’s not exactly light.” “Kenta . . .” I glanced back up startled when he put a hand on my arm giving it a soft squeeze. “Don’t be straining yourself, okay. I know it freaked you out, what happened to Ryuu. If you need someone to talk to, I’m here.” He gave my arm another gentle squeeze and walked off. I stared after him honestly shocked. Isao had just acted like a fucking person for once. He’d never been that nice to me. Ever. It made me wonder what was going on. Shrugging it off, I picked up two more knives and followed him out.

Ryuu “God damn it Ryuu! Why didn’t you watch where you were?” “I’m sorry.” I winced putting a hand to my head. I still felt dizzy, my head pounding. Kenta’s arms tightened around me and I could feel him shaking slightly with the strain of carrying me. “Put me down, I can walk.” “No.” It was a low growl. I struggled weakly in his grip. “Put me down! I have to finish the concert.” “No, Nakamara already announced it was over. You were on the encore anyway.” “Ryuu! Kenta! Is he alright?” “I’m fine.” “Are you sure?” I looked up to see Sora peering down at us. His spikes were starting to wilt from the humidity and he looked flushed. I could hear Hasu and Akira but couldn’t see them. “I’m sure. Kenta is just being overprotective.” I yelped as fingers pinched my arm. “Kenta! That hurt!” “You are not fine. You collapsed on stage.” “I just got dizzy all the sudden. That’s all.” “Ryuu, you were passed out cold when I picked you up.” I looked at Kenta, meeting the dark eyes for a moment. “Really?” He rolled his eyes. “You think I’d be carrying your ass around otherwise?” I was surprised to see Hiro’s giant bulk towering outside the dressing room door. He winked at me as he opened the door. “Ito-sama. Kenta.” “Thanks Hiro.” Kenta edged through the door and finally let me down. He glared up at me for a moment before turning back to the door. He moved to the side as Sora, Hasu and Akira walked in. Everyone looked sweaty and tired. Hasu came up to me and put a hand on my arm, his large dark eyes peering up at me. “Ryuu . . . are you sure you’re alright.” “I feel better now, the dizziness seems to be fading but my head hurts.” “Well . . . you probably hit it when you fell.” “I . . . yeah I guess.” There were suddenly hands in my hair and I winced as fingers found the knot. “Ow! Stop it!” I swatted the hand away and looked up to see Kenta glaring down at me. “Why did you get dizzy in the first place?” I looked at him for a long moment but finally had to break the intense gaze. “I-I’m not sure. I felt fine earlier.” “Ryuu . . . you need to tell him.” I didn’t look up at Hasu. “Ryuu it could be important.” “Tell me what.” My chin was suddenly grabbed and I found myself staring into deep pools of obsidian. I blinked a couple of times but the fingers tightened when I tried to pull away. “What did you do Ryuu?” “I . . . I . . . took a water bottle from one of the fans.” “What!” I fell back against the couch as Kenta shoved me. “What the fuck were you thinking Ryuu? Are you that fucking stupid?” The sudden stabbing pain in my chest rendered me speechless. I looked down at the matted beige carpet. I knew it was stupid, but I’d been caught up in the excitement. I’d only taken one quick drink of it before leaving it on the stage. I couldn’t remember now if it had already been opened or not. Leaning forward I ran a trembling hand over my face. “Kenta I-“ “Shut the fuck up.” Kenta snapped making me flinch, a soft gasp escaping. “I’ll be back later.” The sound of the door slamming made me jump. It seemed to break whatever control I’d had. Slumping over on the couch I buried my face in the cushions. *** “He still hasn’t moved.” “Do you think he passed out again?” “No.” I could hear everyone’s hushed voices. It was annoying. I had no idea how long I’d been laying there trying to avoid thinking about anything. Why was I so stupid? Even Reiko had came in and yelled at me. “They found it. One of the stage hands had it. He set it to the side since it was different from the usual bottles. Reiko is taking to have it tested now.” I raised my head slightly hearing Isao’s voice. They’d called him too? Fuck. I went to push myself up off the couch and realized I couldn’t. What was going on? There was a rush of dizziness and suddenly I was on my back looking up at the ceiling. “Ryuu! Are you alright?” I blinked a few times trying to get things to focus. Sora and Hasu were hovering over me and I heard someone yelling for Kenta. “Call an ambulance! He’s not responding.” What were they talking about? I could hear and see them just fine. I reached up to touch Hasu who had tears in his eyes. Nothing happened. My arm didn’t move. In fact nothing was moving. I knew I was still breathing and I could feel my heart racing, but other than that it was like I was asleep and dreaming. Kenta suddenly appeared behind Hasu, his face completely blank. Just once couldn’t he pretend to be concerned, just let the mask slip a little. “Hiro is calling the ambulance. What happened? He was fine when I left.” “I don’t know.” Hasu looked at me, tears streaming down his cheeks. “He was just laying there. I thought he was mad and just not talking. Oh Ryuu! I’m sorry.” He was sorry? What was he sorry for? “Kenta! I found the girl! The one who gave him the drink.” Kenta got up and I had a fleeting glimpse of that toned rear before he was gone. I wanted to smash my head into something solid. Why had I been so stupid? Now everyone was upset and worried. Hasu was crying softly beside me while Sora stroked his hair. It was only a few moments later when Kenta reappeared. “Stupid bitch. It was ruffies. I already called security. The police are going to pick her up. Are you sure he only drank a little of it. Where is the bottle? Call Reiko now!” There was a slight commotion and I heard someone exclaim. “I just got a hold of her. Half the bottle is gone.” No, there was no way I drank that much of it. Was there? “Half the fucking bottle? Shit! Ryuu.” Kenta was looking down at me now and I could see the mask starting to slip, it didn’t give me any satisfaction to see the worry in his eyes. I wanted so badly to pull him against me and hold him, to make this odd chilled sensation go away. I blinked and it seemed like everyone disappeared only to be replaced by medics. I was placed on a gurney and strapped down, the panic seemed to subside a bit, replaced by nausea. As we headed into the hallway I could hear raised voices. “If you’d been doing your fucking job, this wouldn’t have happened! Didn’t you see him get handed the bottle? How did she get close enough to do that anyway?” I would recognize Nakamara’s voice anywhere, but who was he yelling at? As our manager I’d heard him yell a lot but usually not at the staff. “I was standing where I always do. I didn’t see anyone get close enough . . .“ Kenta! He was yelling at Kenta? I’d never heard Kenta sound like that. He sounded so . . . distressed, a slight tremor to his voice that sent a stab of pain through me. “You’re too fucking short. Next time Hayate and Hiro will take the stage, you just stay backstage and out of the fucking way. You aren’t good for anything but keeping the idiot happy.”

Kenta This was not even fucking funny. I’d finally managed to get out of the bed after Ryuu had literally tried everything from holding me down to pouting. It wasn’t going to work right now. I wasn’t about to let him ruin his career over something as fucking stupid as me. I was glad I’d thought to take a shower before I woke him up or I’d never have been able to get ready. He was still pouting when I finished making breakfast. Curled up on the couch in front of the giant flat screen, he wouldn’t look at me. The news was on and I was getting sick of hearing the comments about the two of us. There was all kinds of speculation as to what was actually going on in the pictures. One woman saying that it looked like Ryuu was forcing himself on me. I almost snorted at that, as if he could. Sighing, I set the tray on the coffee table and grabbing the remote turned the TV off. “Ryuu , we need to talk about this.” He looked up at me and after a moment leaned forward and jerked the remote out of my hand. “I know how to handle this Kenta. I already talked to Nakamara. I was supposed to do a radio show tomorrow anyway, so we are just going to keep that scheduled. Honestly you are making too big a deal of it. I stepped back pointing at the screen. “How fucking long do you think it will take before they find out who I am?” “You are my bodyguard Kenta, everyone knows that.” The scornful look he tossed my way sent a chill through me, a cold weight settling in my gut. I’d seen that look so often in my life I’d thought I was immune to it, but apparently not from Ryuu. “It’s not that hard to find out who you are. Stop freaking out on me.” “So fucking sorry if I don’t fucking like having my fucking picture all over the fucking news.” “Kenta.” I was surprised at the sharp tone, his eyes more like granite than the soft grey I was used too. “Shut up.” I blinked at him. Why didn’t he get how big a deal this was? I didn’t want to be the one responsible for ruining his career. I also really did not like having pictures of me making out with him being shown on the fucking news. Without saying anything else I turned on my heel, walking back into the kitchen to start cleaning it. I needed something to do with my hands, something to distract me from this whole fucking situation. Fuck him once and now he thinks he can just fucking act like . . . shit . . . he is my boss. Shit. Now I was mad at myself. What the fuck was I doing? Throwing the pan into the sink I stared down at the soapy water. My brain was stuck on last night. I didn’t want it to be a onetime thing. I’d never thought sex could be that . . . satisfying. There had never been any meaning behind it before. Never been anything other than a quick fuck on both sides just for something to do. Both times come to think of it. I’d just done it because it seemed like what I was supposed to do. Neither girl had wanted anything to do with me once I got out of juvie though. Then again juvie had went and totally fucked with my head. Juvie didn’t count. Nothing that happened in juvie counted. Then joining the yakuza and working nights meant meeting girls got a lot fucking harder and if I was honest with myself I never fucking cared. Reiko was the only girl I’d ever met that I honestly liked and I wasn’t the least bit attracted to her. I knew that meeting Ryuu was the best fucking thing that had ever happened to me. Even if it had never gone any further than him being my boss, this job had probably saved my life. Sighing, I slowly started cleaning the pan. Last night had been so good so why was it all going to shit now? I didn’t want to fight with him about this. It felt totally different than any other fights we’d been in and I didn’t like this odd feeling it gave me. This slightly lost, unsure feeling was not something I was used to. I should be used to him being pissed at me, so why did it hurt that he was being like this. It shouldn’t fucking hurt. Taking a deep breath I realized it was me. I was the one pressing the issue. He wasn’t concerned in the least and I was freaking out. Hanging my head I gripped the counter. This relationship stuff was fucking hard. I wasn’t used to having anyone else to worry about, not like this. I jumped, startled as arms wrapped around my waist pulling me back flush against him. A chin rested on my shoulder. “I’m sorry. You just don’t understand, Kenta. I’ve grown up being constantly watched and talked about. I can’t even go shopping without something being mentioned in the tabloids.” He paused and there was a soft sigh, his breath hot on my ear. “I didn’t mean to dismiss your feelings about it, though.”

Kenta I barely had a chance to get my shoes off before Ryuu was dragging me through the apartment. I didn’t want to admit it but I was fucking nervous like I’d never been before in my life. Even when I’d been waiting to hear my sentence read at court I hadn’t been this nervous. I was shaking, bad enough that I didn’t like it, that weird slightly weak feeling. Before I realized it we were in the bedroom. He hadn’t bothered to turn the lights on and in the dim light from the windows I could make out him stripping. “I’m going to go take a quick shower. You are free to join me if you want.” The shaking was getting worse. Maybe . . . maybe doing just that would be for the best. I could get him off and maybe he would forget what I’d said. Yeah right, what the fuck was I thinking? Once Ryuu got an idea in his head you better just get out of his fucking way. Slowly getting undressed I followed him into the bathroom. Slipping into the shower behind him I noticed the bruise on his side. “Fuck! Ryuu, you got hurt when you fell!” “Oh, yeah it’s a little sore but nothing like when you broke your ribs I’m sure.” “I didn’t break them the guy with the baseball bat broke them.” I shivered as the water hit me. He liked his showers too fucking hot. “You sure you’re alright?” “Yes I’m just fine.” He turned to face me and not for the first time did I wish I was just a little bit taller. At least tall enough that I didn’t have to look up to meet his eyes. “Kenta . . . if you aren’t ready we don’t have to.” I blinked a couple of times and looked down. Shit, wrong thing to do because now I was looking at his cock which wasn’t what I needed to be looking at right now. I swallowed trying to think of what to say and looked back up at him. “I know you want too Ryuu but . . .” “You are scared of hurting me?” Nodding, I almost stepped back as he slowly ran the sponge over my chest leaving a trail of soap bubbles. “That’s an easy fix. I’ll be on top.” “Wha-“ He kissed me. “Don’t say anything. Just trust me, okay.” Seeing the look in his eyes I nodded. I did trust him. More than I’d ever trusted anyone since Ayame. He smiled at me, the soft grey eyes seeming to sparkle. Without saying anything else he slowly started to run the sponge over every inch of me. It was more relaxing than a turn on, but I enjoyed every second of it. I was more than happy to return the favor but he made me get out of the shower. “Dry off and get in bed. I’ll be there in a bit.” I was a little chilled as I slid under the covers, though the pricking sensation had nothing to do with the temperature. My heart seemed to skip slightly as I heard the shower shut off. It was several minutes later when the door to the bathroom opened again and I felt him get into bed. He slid up next to me, his skin still hot from the shower. “Oh, you are nice and cool.” He kissed my shoulder and I could feel him smile. “You smell good too.” I laid there not sure what to do or say and I heard him chuckle. Then he was straddling me, his chest against mine our lips touching. He kissed me lightly before pulling back and I felt his weight shift as he leaned over. The drawer of the night stand rattled open and I heard the unmistakable sound of him opening a condom. “Ryuu . . . “ “Shh . . . you trust me right.” “Yes.” It was barely a whisper, for some reason breathing was kind of difficult. Probably because he was still half laying on me. Yeah that was it. He kissed me again and slid down taking the covers with him. I kind of wanted them back. I bit my lip feeling his fingers wrap around me. He slowly stroked me until I was hard again, which didn’t take long at all. I was a little confused as I felt him slide the condom on me. Hadn’t he said he would be on top? I knew what that meant and it wasn’t this. I didn’t have time to ask as he crawled back up, his knees on either side of my hips. His mouth found mine and thinking became next to impossible as he kissed me, his tongue slipping in deep. I couldn’t help but respond, the taste of him turning me on even more. I’d felt him moving slightly as he kissed me and there was a sudden pressure against the tip of my cock but I didn’t think anything of it since I could feel his fingers too. That was until something very, very tight and hot slid around the head. Ryuu moaned and broke the kiss, his whole body trembling. He grabbed my arms forcing me back down as I went to move. “Just hold still . . . please.” He was a bit breathless. “Ryuu . . . are you sure? Is this okay?” “Shh . . . yes . . . yes this is much more than okay.” He shifted back and we both gasped, my head going back against the pillow as his fingers tightened on my arms. My entire length was inside him. Inside Ryuu. Oh fuck, this was really happening. It was so tight, the heat from his body almost more than I could take. He shifted slightly and it was like I could feel every little muscle move. I was shocked to realize I could feel his heart racing to match my own. “Oh fuck.” I opened my eyes at his soft laugh and looked up at him. He was smiling at me as he slowly started to rock his hips back and forth. I couldn’t stop the moan as the heat seemed to sear through me. He was so fucking tight it almost hurt as he moved and I grabbed his hips stopping him. “Ryuu . . . it’s not . . . you aren’t hurting are you.” He leaned down slightly to kiss me, the movement sending another rush of heat through me. “No, but you are a bit of a stretch.” “Don’t fucking tease!” He giggled and I sucked in a startled breath as muscles clench down even tighter. He slid forward enough that I thought he was going to get off of me, but just when I would have slipped out he was coming back down. Holy fucking shit that felt amazing. If I’d thought his mouth drove me crazy, I was going fucking insane now. I’d never in my life imagined I would find someone who made me feel so wanted, like I mattered more to him than anything else. It was overwhelming to know that he wanted to be with me like this. Just that he wanted me was more than I’d believed possible. Ryuu Gasping softly I kept my movements slow and shallow. It had been a long time since I’d bottomed, even from the top and the burn was making me a bit light headed. In a good way. Hearing the small sounds Kenta was making as I moved made it entirely worth it. His fingers tightened on my hips and suddenly he was meeting me as I came down. I’d been worried that the memories would interfere, but being on top helped. “Oh god.” That was perfect. The angle, the way he filled me so completely, the feel of his fingers, just it being him, all of it amazed me and made me feel like nothing in my life ever had. Not even being on stage gave me this kind of feeling. I was making love to Kenta and that was what it truly felt like, even if it sounded cliché. To be truly connected to him in every way possible made my chest ache with something I’d never felt before. It was like all those stupid love songs finally made sense and I almost had to laugh at myself. He was thrusting deeper each time, the sensation becoming so intense I knew I wasn’t going to last even without touching my erection. He seemed to have read my mind. The next thing I knew his hand was wrapped around me, slow smooth strokes making me whine. For someone who claimed to have never been with a man, he certainly knew what to do. I heard him make a low sound that was between a moan and a whine and suddenly his thrusts became a bit erratic. I was so close to going off myself and I didn’t want it to end this soon. I didn’t want this wonderful euphoria to ever stop. “Oh shit! Ryuu!” I shuddered, the feel of him coming sending a shock through me. Each pulse sent another dizzying spiral of heat through me until I was writhing. I came so hard it actually took my breath away, lights dancing before me. “Kenta . . .” It took me a while to get my breath back and I realized I’d slumped forward, laying on him. His one hand was trapped between us. His other one lightly stroked my back. His breath warm on my skin as he spoke. “You okay?” “Much much better than that.” I turned my head so I could kiss him. He kissed me back, the passion in it like nothing before. I sighed into the kiss, feeling at once light and full of happiness and also so very sensitive, even the slightest movements making me want to gasp. He gently slipped his hand out from between us and taking hold of my hips shifted me forward. I bit my lip a small whimper escaping as he slid free. I shuddered at the sudden empty feeling. Then he was lifting me and laying me next to him. He kissed me softly but with such affection it brought tears to my eyes. “Thank you Kenta.” A low chuckle was his only response. He got out of the bed for a moment, probably to get rid of the condom. I was still tingling from the after affects when he came back and then he was kissing me again, pulling me closer. He wrapped his arms around me and I idly wondered if we should go take a shower first, but it felt too nice where I was. I’d just change the sheets in the morning. I was going to bask in this feeling as long as I could. I fell asleep completely wrapped up in the man I loved.

Ryuu I could barely keep from pouncing Kenta on the ride home. I was dying to know what he had planned but he was his usual quiet, imperturbable self. Though it was cute to see him touch his neck every so often where I’d given him that hickey. I loved being able to break down that stern façade and make him go crazy. Speaking of . . . sliding my hand up his leg I leaned over against him. He twitched slightly and didn’t look at me. I couldn’t help but smile. “What are you thinking about?” Dark eyes flicked toward me then away. “Nuthin.” I didn’t believe that for a second. It irritated me that people just assumed Kenta was stupid because of the way he talked. Shaking off that thought, I reached up to brush his hair back from his face. I loved the way his hair would feather around his face, almost making him look boyish. He looked a lot softer than he really was. It had caught quite a few people off guard. That and his glare could eat through concrete. He must practice or something. Kenta had the ‘I’ll fuck you up so bad you’ll wish I killed you’ look. Which was kind of funny considering the man was pretty enough to put most idols to shame. I couldn’t help staring at him. I still remembered the first time I’d seen him. Really seen him. I’d seen him at Hayate’s bar before then, but I’d been too focused on Akira at the time. Akira had asked me and Sora to come to the hospital to visit a friend who was a fan. I’d jumped at the chance. I loved meeting fans. Though not quite the way I’d done it tonight. Thankfully that girl hadn’t been hurt when I’d fallen on her. She’d seemed more delighted than anything. I hadn’t known that the friend Akira was talking about was Kenta. He’d been assaulted and beaten unconscious by a group of boys with pipes. His injuries had been pretty severe, though I hadn’t been aware of it at the time. I don’t think I could ever forget seeing him sitting up in the bed. He’d been heavily bandaged, but it had still been easy to see that he was exceptionally good looking. His eyes had been the first thing to enthrall me. I’d never met anyone with eyes so deep that they pulled you in and held you captivated. There had been pain there, but also a determination that was unlike anything I’d ever seen. Akira had explained what had happened and I’d been shocked that anyone would go that far to help a friend. He’d been teaching Reiko to defend herself and had run into the very boys who had been harassing her. Six on one is never good odds, even with someone as skilled as Kenta. He didn’t know a formal style like Hasu, but he had years of street experience on his side. He’d been so happy to meet us and I had ended up staying after everyone left. We’d talked for hours. Well, I’d talked as he laid there listening, those inscrutable dark eyes never looking away. Before I’d left I’d asked if it would be alright if I came back the next day. That had been the first time I had ever seen him smile. Looking at him now, knowing him as well as I did, I knew it had to have been meant for us to meet. I needed him. Needed his calming quiet presence just like he needed me to see past the tough exterior to what he really was. I followed him out of the limo, keeping close to him. He had a hand on my elbow which was normal, but for some reason it felt different. The way his fingers curled around the inside of my arm, his grip firm yet gentle, was sending tingles racing over my skin. How could a simple touch do this to me? Naoki had never made me feel this way even when we’d first got together. I’d never had this nearly breathless anticipation, the sensation that I was jumping out of my own skin. I wasn’t going to hold back once we got to the apartment. I wanted him like I’d never wanted anyone in my life. Wanted to lose myself utterly and completely to this man I’d fallen for.

Ryuu To say I was shocked would have been a gross understatement. Not only had Kenta suggested we go shopping, he hadn’t complained once so far. If having nightmares meant I got pampered like this, it was a bit easier to take. I’d still just rather not have them. I’d been disappointed that Tatsuya couldn’t make it, but we’d made plans to go out later that week. It was going to be a double date. I got excited just thinking about being on an actual date with Kenta. “So, do you like the jeans?” “Yeah.” I sighed, he said yes to everything. Well almost everything. He’d said no to going into the adult novelty store and to trying on anything I wanted to get for him and no to joining me in the changing room. I’d still bought stuff for him though. We were close enough in size that I could get him the same size without having to worry whether or not it would fit. I’d found him a couple of shirts and a pair of jeans I was dying to see him in. I set my bags down in the seat next to me. We’d found a little café to have lunch in and he’d gotten us a table off to the side. He looked down at me and I was struck all over again by how gorgeous he was, the dark eyes soft as they looked into mine. “What do you want? I’ll go order for us.” I told him and watched him walk to the counter. After last night and this morning I had an all new kind of respect and appreciation for him. His reaction proved that I’d found someone who actually cared for me. He’d not once told me I was stupid or that I shouldn’t be so freaked out by a silly nightmare. I looked around the café. It was a small one, with cute décor. Tatsuya would have liked it. I noticed a couple of girls pointing at Kenta and giggling. I couldn’t help but smile. They were just shit out of luck. The man was mine and I would fight to keep it that way too. I couldn’t help but smirk as they watched him walk back to our table. “Thanks Arakaki-san.” I winked at him and got a glare in return. “Just eat and quit looking at those girls.” I raised an eyebrow at him. So he’d noticed. “What? They are cute, fawning all over you. The one was pointing at your butt. I have to agree with her, you have a very nice ass.” “Shut up Ryuu.” I grinned at him and took a bite of my sandwich. “Ryuu.” I looked up at him. “Are you going to tell me what happened last night?” I suddenly wasn’t hungry anymore. Blinking a couple of times I set my sandwich down. “I had a nightmare.” “Yeah . . . kind of fucking got that part. That was no normal nightmare.” “No . . . no it wasn’t.” Mostly because it had actually happened. “Ryuu . . .” I finally looked up at him trying my hardest not to let my emotions overwhelm me. “Ryuu, you can tell me.” I shook my head and looked back down. I could barely speak for the lump in my throat. “No . . . I can’t.” I bolted for the bathroom feeling like I was going to be sick. Almost two years and it still felt like yesterday. I still remembered everything he’d said to me, the way he’d beat me until I was nearly unconscious, how terrified I’d been afterward when I wouldn’t stop bleeding. I gagged, leaning over the sink. I knew what had triggered the nightmare and it frustrated me. I wanted to be with Kenta but even now it felt like Naoki was trying to control me. Maybe I needed to start taking my pills again. Just so I could sleep through the night. I jumped whipping around as I felt a hand on my shoulder. “Easy Ryuu, it’s just me.” The look of concern on Kenta’s face sent a stab of pain through me. I was worrying him, but there was no way I could tell him, not yet. A soft sob worked its way up and I pulled him close burying my face against his shirt. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Kenta Wrapping my arms around him I backed us up slightly so I could block the door to the bathroom. I didn’t want anyone coming in and seeing Ryuu like this. He wasn’t sobbing like he had been that morning, but it still hurt me to hear him crying. “Easy, Ryuu. Nothing to apologize for.” I ran my hand down his back feeling the tremble. “Maybe we should go home. We can have everyone come over and we’ll gang up on Sora on that one video game.” That got a soft laugh and he nuzzled closer to me his arms slipping around my waist. “Why are you so nice to me Kenta?” I frowned at that question. Using my free hand I grabbed his chin and pulled his head up. I stared into those bottomless grey eyes. Things were starting to click into place. “Why wouldn’t I be Ryuu? Why don’t you clean up and I’m going to go make sure no one walked off with our stuff.” “Okay.” He was out sooner than I thought he would be, the bright confident smile firmly in place. It hurt me to think that it hid so much pain. Maybe soon he would feel comfortable enough to tell me what the nightmares were about. Until then I would be there to do whatever I could to help him. *** “Kenta?” “Hmm” “Will you stay tonight?” I looked over at him. We’d just finished cleaning up after everyone had left. Even with three of them ganging up on Sora they hadn’t managed to beat him. I didn’t even try. Video games were like school, pointless and a waste of time. “You want me to?” He nodded. After last night I didn’t really want to leave him by himself and I knew how much it bothered him to be alone. “Yeah sure, I’ll stay.” He came over and gave me a hug and a soft lingering kiss. “Thank you.” I smiled at him and wrapped my arms around him, pulling him against me so that I could feel every inch of that amazing body against mine. I kissed his neck, smiling at the soft gasp. His neck was so sensitive and I loved the way I could make him go crazy. “Let’s go to bed.” “No argument there.” He was giggling as I helped him get undressed. I couldn’t help but want to touch him all over. I desperately wanted him to forget what ever had made him so upset this morning. “Just a little anxious aren’t you, Kenta-kun?” He pulled me down on the bed with him. I grunted as there was a twinge in my ribs. I was going to have to be careful what I did, they still weren’t fully healed. I pushed myself up so that I wasn’t laying directly on him. “Oh you think so?” “I can feel you through your pants.” “Really?” His hand slid down my chest and with a flick of his wrist he’d unbuttoned my pants. I hissed softly as he pulled my hardening cock out of my boxers. “Mm this is better.” He grinned up at me, then suddenly the grin faded. “You are in pain. We should stop.” “No. No. I’m fine.” I wanted to whine as he let go of me and shifted back so he could sit up. He smacked my shoulder giving me a hard look. “You are not, I can tell. Don’t be stupid. It’s not worth it if you get hurt.” “Come on Ryuu.” “No, now lay down while I go get your medicine.” “Fuck. Why are you teasing me?” “I’m not teasing and you owe me.” Keeping my mouth shut I finished undressing and crawled into bed. I hated that he was right. I was in more pain than I wanted to admit. Damn him. I’d been looking forward to a bit of fun before bed. I knew that look though. There was no arguing with him now. Either way it was nice just to be near him and I wasn’t going to complain. I’d get a chance in the morning and there was all day tomorrow too. I grinned just thinking about it and settled deeper into the bed. It gave me a very content feeling to be here with Ryuu. One I hadn’t felt in years. I looked up as he came back in a water bottle in one hand and my pills in the other. I took both from him and watched him as he climbed into the bed next to me. Part of me was still shocked that I was here, sharing a bed with him. I didn’t deserve him, but hell if I was going to let him go. Setting the water bottle to the side I shut the light off and tackled him to the bed kissing him. He could be mad at me later.

(A/N) This chapter is rated M for violence and noncon. Ryuu “I said I was sorry.” I didn’t know what else to do. Naoki had me backed against the bedroom wall. I flinched yelping, as his hand slammed into the wall next to my head. He’d already hit me twice and I was terrified he was going to continue to hit me unless I got him calmed down. “You are sorry? That’s all you can say! Sorry! You are such a fucking waste of my time.” A whimper escaped as he grabbed me by the hair dragging me over to the bed. “You wouldn’t even have a band if it wasn’t for me. You can’t sing, you can barely play guitar and you think you deserve to be the center of attention just because of who you are. Don’t fucking kid yourself. If your family didn’t have money you would be nothing but a cheap slut. You are a cheap slut and I’m going to fuck you like the slut you are.” I landed on my back and was instantly hit, the blow leaving me reeling. I struggled to move, to stop him, but he just hit me repeatedly until I quit fighting him. I could taste blood and feel it running down the back of my throat, gagging me. He was ripping my clothes off and I couldn’t do anything but lay there sobbing. “Na-Naoki pl-please stop.” “Shut up!” I cried out as he wrenched my arm forcing me to turn over. I tried to push myself up off the bed, to get away from him. A hand between my shoulder blades forced me back down and held me there even as I thrashed. He was too heavy for me to move him. The large hand moved from my back to my hair, his grip tight enough to bring new tears to my eyes. I felt him lean down over me, his breath hot on my cheek. He pulled my hips back until I was bent over the side of the bed, my legs pinned. “I want to hear just how sorry you are.” I screamed as he shoved forward, completely penetrating me with one violent jerk, the abrupt stabbing pain almost too much for me to take. Why was he doing this? Cruel fingers tightened in my hair dragging my head up. “Say it, say how sorry you are.” “I-I’m so-sorry.” I could barely breathe for the sobs. I couldn’t stop the scream as he pulled back only to slam forward again. Kenta I bolted up in the bed, the scream still echoing around me. My heart was hammering so hard it felt like it was going to jump out of my chest. Ryuu was flailing beside me, the soft cries scaring the shit out of me. A nightmare? Tossing back the covers I flipped on the light and grabbed him, almost getting hit in the face. He was crying, tears streaming down his face, but his eyes were still closed. “Ryuu! Ryuu! Wake up!” I shook him slightly feeling him stiffen his eyelids fluttering. There was no recognition in them as he stared at me and for a moment I was afraid he was going to completely freak out on me. I’d never seen that kind of raw fear in his eyes and it made me feel completely helpless. “Ito!” He blinked at me and suddenly started sobbing. Fuck! What was wrong with him? I pulled him close trying my best to comfort him. “Hey, hey I’m here. It’s alright. You are okay.” He was shaking, the sobs making his whole body shudder. It took several minutes but I finally got him calmed down. He wouldn’t look at me as I gently wiped the tears off his face. “Ryuu . . . what’s wrong?” He just shook his head and buried himself against me, his arms wrapped around my waist. I ran my fingers through the messy hair trying to calm him as much as myself. I held him like that until I realized he’d fallen back asleep. Carefully laying him back down I watched him sleep. What the hell kind of dream had he been having? Whatever it was it had scared the shit out of him. Reaching over I shut off the light and lay back down. I’d call Sora in the morning and see if he knew anything. *** “I’m sorry Kenta, but if he hasn’t said anything I really don’t feel comfortable being the one to tell you.” Sora and I were in the kitchen. He had come over after I’d called him that morning and was helping me make Ryuu breakfast. Ryuu was still in bed where I’d left him a bit ago. “He’s had nightmares like this for a while now. He usually calls me and I come over and make him breakfast. It seems to calm him down. Just don’t expect him to be his usual self today. When they are this bad he can get really depressed.” I nodded as I set the food out on the plate. “He scared the shit out of me. But he wouldn’t tell me anything.” “Just give it some time. Um . . .” He turned to look at me. “Honestly Kenta, you are the first relationship he’s had in a while. His crush on Akira was just that and he knew it.” “Yeah.” “Don’t let it get to you Kenta. Ryuu knew Akira was never going to return his feelings. He felt safe liking Akira and Akira let him be himself.” “How do you know all this?” “I’ve known Ryuu since high school and . . . we’ve been through a lot together. A whole lot.” Sora’s voice dropped and I looked over hearing him sigh. “Just . . . treat him good Kenta. He’s had people in his past that didn’t treat him like they should have.” I nodded. I didn’t understand how anyone could want to hurt him. Sure I smacked him from time to time, but that was different. I never did it to hurt him. Sometimes he just needed to calm down and it was the best way to get his attention. Kind of like a kid. But I’d never hit him out of anger or to hurt him and I never would. Picking up the tray, I headed into the bedroom, Sora’s soft footsteps just behind me. Ryuu was still curled up in the bed, his eyes red and glassy. Fuck. How could he look sexy even like that? Shit, what the hell was I thinking? Ryuu needed comfort not a horny idiot. “Hey, Sora and I made you breakfast.” I kept my voice low and soft and was rewarded with a ghost of a smile. “Thanks.” His voice was a bit rough and I wondered if I should call Akira and Hasu and cancel practice. I glanced back at Sora but he was looking at Ryuu. “Ryuu, maybe we should cancel practice for today.” “No! No . . . I need-I need to . . . it helps.” Setting the tray down on the nightstand I sat on the bed. “Why don’t you eat breakfast and get ready to go. I’ll take you to Sannomiya so you can go shopping.” He looked up at me and I had no idea how to read the expression on his face. It was like looking at one of those homeless kids when I’d show up with food and money, they expected it to get snatched right back. “Are . . . are you sure? You hate shopping.” “Yeah I’m fucking sure. I’ll even go get Tatsuya for you.” His smile wasn’t quite as bright as normal but it was getting there. He nodded and started eating. I got up and went to go find him some clothes. I didn’t want him wearing anything too flashy, though that might be a challenge looking at his clothes. He dressed like he was going to a photo shoot every day. Even his pajama pants were name brand. By the time I found something suitable that I thought he would actually wear he was done with breakfast and in the shower. Sora smiled at me as he gathered up the tray. “Good thinking Kenta. I’ll call you later this afternoon. If you can, keep him out as long as possible. We can skip practice for today.”

Holy fucking hell, he had to be kidding. I stood in the aisle at the market staring at the list in my hand. Ryuu hadn’t been joking about sending me shopping last night. My basket was nearly full and I’d gotten to the bottom of the list only to find this. Condoms. He wanted me to buy condoms. And not just the regular latex, no he wanted the expensive ultra thin sheepskin ones. Was he teasing me? Trying not to sigh too loudly I got the ones he wanted and headed to go check out. The clerk didn’t even bat an eye as she rang up my items even though I was sure my face was red. Next time Ryuu could buy his own goddamn condoms. Letting myself into the apartment I could hear music playing. They must be practicing and left the studio door open again. That meant everyone was probably over including Reiko. Going to the kitchen I started putting everything away. Sneaking back to the bedroom I hid the condoms in the drawer of the nightstand. I’d give them to Ryuu later. Going back out to the kitchen I decided to order dinner. I knew Hasu was going to be hungry. I was half asleep on the couch with the TV on when I heard them finally stop for the night. I was too tired to get up. The food would all have to be reheated, but I’d let them get their own. I blinked a few times feeling someone standing over me. I looked up to see Sora looking down at me. He shifted his weight glancing back over his shoulder. “Listen . . . I wanted to apologize for the other day.” “You already did.” “I know but . . . I don’t usually lose my temper like that and I’m really sorry.” “No, I deserved it Sora. Someone needed to knock some fucking sense into me.” I cringed after I said it and glanced around to make sure Ryuu wasn’t close enough to hear me. “Well, I won’t argue with that.” Sora grinned at me. “Thanks for getting dinner for us.” “No problem.” As soon as the door shut behind Sora and Hasu, Ryuu tackled me. “What the fuck! Ryuu!” He was giggling. “Did you get it?” “Yes.” “Where are they?” “Bedroom.” Where else would you need condoms? He jumped up and practically bounced down the hallway. What the fuck was up with him? I laid back down on the couch closing my eyes. I could hear him rummaging around, drawers opening and shutting. “Where are they Kenta?” “Why? Not like you need them.” “Where are they!” “Nightstand.” He came back with the box and a grin that rose the hairs on the back of my neck. He dropped the box in my lap. “Here. They are for you.” I stared up at him. “What?” “They are for you.” I think my brain kind of shut down at that point cause he sure as hell was not making any sense. “Ryuu, you can’t be serious.” He sat on the edge of the couch next to me, looking down at me. “I am serious.” I blinked as he reached down and ran his fingers through my hair. His eyes looked more blue than grey for some reason and seemed to stare right through me. “I want to be with you Kenta.” “B-but Ryuu . . . I’m hurt and-“ He laid a finger across my lips. “I didn’t say it had to be tonight, Kenta. I know that’s asking too much right now. Besides . . . have you ever been with a guy before?” I blinked a couple of times, honestly caught off guard by the question. “Um . . . no.” “I didn’t think so.” He grinned at me and leaned down to kiss me. Those amazing lips making me lose any grip I’d had on reality. Just when I thought I wasn’t going to be able to control myself any longer, broken ribs or not, he pulled away. “Can I ask you a question.” “Um . . . yeah.” My lips were tingling like crazy and I really didn’t want to be talking. There were much better things to do with those perfect lips of his. “Do you want me?” I finally tore my eyes from his lips and looked at him. There was a sadness deep in his eyes that I hadn’t noticed before. “What the fuck kind of question is that?” He flinched and I realized he’d taken it badly. I grabbed his arm before he could get up. “Why would you ask me that?” Ryuu I couldn’t meet his eyes. The feel of his fingers on my arm was both comforting and disturbing. I knew I was pushing things, pushing myself. I just wasn’t sure. I was never sure when it came to Kenta, except how I felt about him. I finally shrugged, not even sure what to say. I let out a small yelp as he suddenly pulled me down kissing me hard. A soft whine slipped free as he slid one hand into my hair the other coming to rest on my hip. The kiss was taking my breath away. All the urgency and need sending my pulse racing. I heard the box of condoms hit the floor as he shifted us and smiled to myself. I’d gambled big time putting those on the list and was shocked he’d bought them. I gasped as his lips found my neck making me writhe, tingling sensations shooting down my spine. “Oh god . . . Kenta.” I was trying not to move too much, afraid of hurting him, but the way his lips and tongue were attacking my neck it was hard to stay still. “You asked . . .” His lips were so warm and soft against my skin and I felt like I was melting, my body dissolving. “I’ve never been with a guy, but that doesn’t mean I don’t know what to do to make you feel good Ryuu.” That statement didn’t make a whole lot of sense to me, but thinking was becoming increasingly difficult. His hands were now under my shirt and I realized with a start that he was undressing me. The shirt was tossed off to the side and he grinned at me. “I’d have though you could tell how much I wanted you.” I blinked at him for a moment before I realized that the hardness pressed into my stomach was his erection. I couldn’t hold back the grin and got an answering one. He was already this hard after just a few minutes of kissing. It made me shiver in anticipation. “Want to move this to the bedroom?” I put every ounce of seductiveness I could manage into my voice and watched as those dark eyes got impossibly darker. I wiggled my hips and got a gasp. Now that was nice. “You got to get off me first, Ryuu.” I laughed and pushed myself up, helping him up as well. Getting into the bedroom proved to be a rather drawn out process as we took our time getting each other undressed, I was giddy with excitement as we finally ended up on the bed. “Fuck! Why are you so hot?” I shivered as Kenta’s hands slid across my skin. They were slightly calloused and the sensation was amazing. I couldn’t get enough of it. “You are making me very hot.” I gasped as his hand dipped between my legs, his fingers wrapping around me. His slow even strokes were nearly infuriating. I wanted so much more. “Kenta! Please . . . “ His soft laugh was all I got. I opened my eyes to see him leaning over me the dark eyes sparkling mischievously. “You really are a handful.” I groaned, “Don’t tease me. Just go faster.” There was another deep chuckle and suddenly there was a very hot mouth surrounding me. I moaned. It was better than any fantasy by about a hundred times over. He hadn’t been kidding when he said he knew how to make me feel good. Kenta-my beautiful Kenta was doing this, giving me this kind of pleasure. That thought alone was enough to send me crashing into oblivion.

Ryuu I was beginning to wonder how long it had been since Kenta had been with anyone. He barely lasted two minutes, not near enough time for me to really start enjoying myself. I’d been hoping that with the all the medication he could have gone longer, but apparently not. I gave him a kiss before getting up enjoying the way he responded. My hand was all sticky now and I needed to clean him up too. By the time I got back from the bathroom with a wet cloth he was sound asleep. Well, that had been part of the plan too. At least he was laying in the bed and I didn’t have to try and move him. After cleaning him up, I carefully moved his legs so that he wasn’t hanging over the side of the bed anymore. Pulling back the covers was a bit more of a challenge. Making sure that there was a bottle of water and his next dose of medication on the night stand I slipped off the boxers and crawled into bed. If he thought I was going to sleep in them he needed to think again. I hadn’t even worn clothes when Reiko had stayed over. I definitely was not going to start now, besides that I walked around nude all the time. It was my house, why not? Snuggling up to him I couldn’t help but run my fingers over the soft planes of his chest and stomach. He was so defined and sleek, in fact our body types were very similar. I’d peeked at his chart at the clinic and had been pleasantly surprised that we were within four pounds of being the same weight. Naoki had outweighed me by a good fifty pounds and had used it too. I shook my head. Why the hell would I think about him when I had this gorgeous man lying beside me? I sighed, smiling to myself. Even if he was hurt and in a bad mood I still liked being around him. Just being close to him made me happy. *** “Kenta?” “Hmm?” “Can we go out for dinner tonight?” I looked over at him from where I was laying on my stomach on the couch. He was in the kitchen getting us drinks. We’d been watching movies since he couldn’t really do much else. Though he was starting to get really irritated when I tried to do anything for him. I guess a week of being waited on hand a foot was enough for him. It was cute that it made him uncomfortable, made me want to do it more. “Maybe a movie too. It’ll be a date!” “No.” I rolled my eyes and turned over so I could look at him. “Why not?” “Call Sora if you want to go out.” “He’s helping his grandpa.” “Then call Akira.” “He’s with Reiko.” “Hasu?” “I was wanting to do something with someone my age.” “He’s not that much younger.” Kenta handed me my drink. “He’s sixteen Kenta, he’s a little kid.” “Oh and you are soo fucking much older.” I gave him a look. “Mouth.” “Fu- . . . shi- . . . Ryuu! What the hell! I can’t believe I agreed to this.” “You didn’t, remember. My house my rules.” “Jerk.” “Pay me.” I grinned at him. It was one of my best ideas ever. I got Kenta to quit cussing every other word or he had to kiss me every time he slipped up. Grumbling under his breath he leaned down and gave me a quick kiss. I wasn’t going to make him do it anywhere else but here at the apartment, but hopefully he would start to learn better ways to express himself. “Now about tonight. I was thinking we could go see that new science fiction movie.” “Oh! The one about the space ninja?” “Um, yeah kind of, he’s an assassin who has special mental powers.” “Yeah I remember seeing the preview. The special effects looked pretty good.” “So what do you say to dinner and a movie? You’ve been stuck in the house all week. I thought you’d be more than ready to get out.” He glanced over at me and I felt my heart skip a beat at the sultry look. “I like being here.” My breath seemed to catch in my throat for a moment. He really did like being here, with me? I started to lean toward him, not even realizing I was doing so, but he was still talking. “Your place is a lot bigger than mine. I would have had to fight someone for the bathroom every morning and trying to get laundry done is a bitch anyway. Shit.” I couldn’t help busting out laughing at the look on his face when he realized he’d messed up twice in a row. “You and your stupid rules!” “You like it and you know it.” “Maybe.” Kenta The movie actually turned out to be a lot better than I thought it was going to be. Instead of just a typical action flick there was a bit of a message to it and the ending could be taken a few different ways. I kept Ryuu close beside me as we left the theater. Even though he was wearing a hat and large coat, I didn’t want to risk someone recognizing him. “Where to now?” “Dinner sounds good. What do you feel like?” That smile really could be trouble. A whole fucking lot of trouble-I caught myself and realized he had me censoring myself even in my own thoughts. Bastard. I should be able to talk however I wanted. Though he said I was too smart and could find other ways to express myself. No one had ever accused me of being smart. Lazy, stupid, mean, violent, but not smart. It kind of made me wonder if he was just saying it to get on my good side. I thought for a moment. I knew Ryuu liked foreign food, but I was kind of needing something familiar after staying with him all week. “Okonomiyaki sounds good.” “Oh! I haven’t had that in ages! That does sound good. I know a really good place we can go.” He was already dragging me outside. Dinner turned into a three hour event. He was concentrating so hard as he slid the spatula’s under the batter to try and flip the cakes over without them falling apart. For the third time in a row food splattered everywhere. “Shit Ryuu.” “I know! I know! I haven’t done this in so long!” I could tell he was getting frustrated. Getting up, I stood just behind him and taking his hand with the spatula in it slid it under the remaining cake and with a quick twist of his wrist flipped it over. “Ah! I did it!” He leaned back into me, his eyes sliding up to meet mine. “Thank you.” Nodding I sat back down across from him. “Tired of seeing food get wasted.” He actually blushed at that. Holy hell. I had never once seen Ryuu blush. For any reason. Nothing ever seemed to embarrass the man. Hell he walked around naked in front of everyone like it was the most natural thing in the world. He kissed complete strangers and laughed about it. So why had my comment embarrassed him? “Sorry.” His cheeks were still pink, his eyes on the food as it cooked. God it made me want to kiss him and see what else I could do to make him blush like that. I cleared my throat trying to get my mind on other things. “Its fine. Just takes practice. We’ll take the other’s home. Hasu will eat them no matter how bad they look.” That got a laugh out of him. “He doesn’t like ketchup though.” “Mayonnaise. He eats it straight out of the jar.” “Ew. Is that where it all goes?” “Yeah, caught him doing it the last time he was over.” “That is so gross! I’ll make sure to get extra then.” “You mean I’ll make sure to get extra.” “Well, I’ll put it on the list for you when you get ready to go shopping.” He grinned at me. “There are a few other things I think I might have you get too. Oh this is good! The squid is excellent with it.” ***

Kenta Why the hell do I listen to the jerk? “You fucking poke me one more fucking time and I’m going to-“ “Kenta.” I closed my eyes at Ryuu’s warning tone and clenched my fists as the doctor continued to poke and prod on every fucking sore spot he could find. “Well, I think we better take some x-ray’s. You seem to have reinjured the ribs that were damaged last time.” Opening my eyes I looked over at Ryuu. “I already knew that. I don’t need-“ I stopped seeing Ryuu hold up his phone. Jiro’s number was already on the display and I had bite back what I’d been going to say. I was careful not to take too deep a breath as I glared at Ryuu. “Fine, do the fucking x-rays.” I wished later I’d told Ryuu to fuck off. No one told me I was going to have to lay in the most painful way possible to even do the x-ray. I was ready to punch the nurse helping me by the time we got done. I was shaking, the pain making me catch my breath. “All that for them to tell me what I already fucking know.” Ryuu handed me a coke and a couple of pills once I got out of the room. I mumbled a thank you as I took them. “Um, don’t thank me yet.” I jerked my head up to look at him. “What did you do?” He looked away, “I scheduled you for a complete physical.” “Ryuu!” I stared at him. Did he not understand how much pain I was in? “Why the fucking hell-“ “I want you to be healthy, that’s all. It’s not painful or anything. Well . . . they will have to draw blood, but you should be fine. The worst part is over.” “Yeah, thanks a whole fucking lot.” He looked back at me, that evil little smile on his lips. “Don’t worry I’ll make it up to you later.” He was going to have a whole hell of a lot to make up for. I’d never been so humiliated in my life. I swore they’d checked over every inch of me and then some. Getting my blood drawn was the least of my worries. “Ryuu . . . I’m going to kill you.” Maybe later. Right now I could barely lift my head off the seat of the limo. He giggled and patted my leg. “Sure. Maybe after dinner if your pain meds don’t knock you out. They gave you some pretty potent stuff. But I’m happy. Your tests all came back good and even though you do have a broken rib, we’ve got plenty of medication for you.” I looked over at him, wondering what was really going through that blond head. It had to have cost quite a bit for all those tests. I just couldn’t understand him spending that kind of money on me. I knew he spent all kinds of money on Akira, but . . . that was Akira. Akira was vital to the band. Me . . . even if I didn’t want to admit it, I was easily replaced. Almost had been too. I was ready to smack Ryuu by the time dinner arrived. He wouldn’t quit fussing over me, constantly checking on me or getting me stuff he thought I wanted or just hovering around. “Damn it Ryuu will you just sit down. I can’t handle you doing that.” I also couldn’t move. The muscle relaxers in addition to the pain medication were making me feel a bit loopy. He had me sitting on the couch in the living room so we could eat dinner. “I will, just a sec. I’m getting your dinner ready. Have you ever had Italian before?” “Huh?” “I’ll take that as a no.” He was grinning at me as he walked over carrying the tray. I had to admit the food smelled pretty good. “No, lay still. I’ll feed you.” “Like hell Ry-“ He stuffed something round and squishy in my mouth. I almost spat it back out. It tasted very strongly of tomato but the other flavors weren’t bad, just different. I could tell from the look on his face that he was enjoying this entirely too much. I finished that bite and turned my head away as he went to feed me the next one. “Okay Ryuu, I can feed myself.” “No you can’t. You don’t know how to use a fork.” “A what?” “Exactly. So I am going to feed you. Besides, it took me forever to get the blood out of the fabric and tomato sauce is just as bad.” I glared at him as he smiled sweetly at me, waiting for me to take the next bite. “You planned this.” “And people say you are stupid.” He was fucking laughing at me. Jerk. “Fuck you.” “We’ll get to that later.” I accidentally inhaled the next bite and Ryuu nearly freaked out on me. Coughing with broken ribs fucking hurts like a fucking son of a bitch even as doped up as I was. Once dinner was over with Ryuu helped me into the bed room. “My legs are fine Ryuu, I can walk.” “No, you should see yourself. Your eyes keep crossing. I think you are tired.” “Not really, but I do feel a bit weird.” “And that is why I’m helping you to bed silly.” “Oh, okay.” Somewhere in my head I knew I wasn’t making a lot of sense. Maybe it was a good thing that Ryuu was there to help me. I sat down on the edge of the bed and watched as Ryuu found me a pair of sweats. He normally didn’t wear anything to bed, but he’d said he would at least wear his boxers. Stupid silk boxers. I realized I was still staring at them as Ryuu walked up to me. He leaned down reaching for me and I tried to lean back. “What are you doing?” “I’m getting you undressed. You aren’t wearing that to bed.” I shoved at his hands. “I can get myself undressed you weirdo.” I was surprised when he easily moved my hands away. What the fuck? There was no way I was taking any more of those muscle relaxers if this was what happened. He was already undoing the buttons on my shirt and taking his damn time about it too. “Ryuu just let me-“ The next thing I knew I was laying back on the bed. Ryuu was hovering over me, the only thing touching me were his lips. Holy fuck, why was he such a good kisser? Muscle relaxers apparently have no affect on keeping you from getting a hard on when a fucking hot guy kisses you. He pulled back slightly so we could look at each other. “Let you what?” “Do it myself.” “Oh?” His fingers were hot as they ran over my stomach and continued to my pants. “We’ll see what you get to do yourself.” He took his goddamn time undoing my pants. He had to know what he was doing to me. Looking up into those eyes I could tell he knew exactly what he was doing. I probably wouldn’t have stopped him even if I could have. I kept thinking about the shower and that amazing mouth, though part of me didn’t want to be just laying back doing nothing either. Didn’t have much choice right now, as frustrating as that was. Just like with dinner, he wasn’t letting me do anything. “Just lay still. You are going to hurt yourself.” “Already hurt.” “Hurt yourself worse then, stop moving.” He smacked my leg as he tried to get my jeans down past my knees. “Ryuu . . . what are you doing?” He just grinned at me and tossed the pants to the side. Crawling back up on the bed he knelt over me. “Whatever I want just like I always do.” “You are such a brat.” He giggled and leaned down to kiss me again. “I know. But you love me anyway. You look so cute, all relaxed and cross eyed.” I blinked a few times. “I am not cross eyed.” “Maybe I should call the doctor and see if that is a side effect or something. Though it sure is cute, especially when I do this.” He leaned in close his nose touching mine. “Now you are cross eyed too.” I couldn’t help but smile at him as he sat back laughing. How many people would kill to be where I was right then? I didn’t want to think about it. Honestly, I couldn’t imagine being anywhere else. I bit my lip as those warm fingers slid across my skin again. What was he . . . oh . . . that was what he was doing. I shivered, tingles racing over my skin as he wrapped his fingers around me and gave one slow stroke after another. “Ry-Ryuu . . . “ He leaned back over me, concern in the light colored eyes. “You aren’t hurting are you? I’ll stop if you are.” I shook my head. I wasn’t even sure what I’d been going to say. All of my muscles seemed to be tensing up the longer he stroked me. I tried to force myself to relax but that didn’t work for very long. He was looking down at me with those soft grey eyes, a small smile on those beautiful lips. I wanted to kiss him damn it. I wanted to do a whole fucking lot more than just kiss him too. I managed to grab his arm and pull him down toward me. He got the hint pretty quick.

Kenta “No more questions please.” I moved the reporter back, not bothering to be gentle about it. They were supposed to have left him alone after the press conference but everyone wanted to know about Akira. “It’s alright Kenta.” Ryuu’s soft voice was suddenly in my ear. “I’ve got this.” I nodded slowly and stepped back slightly so he could get around me. I kept within arms reach glaring at any of the leeches that got to close. I recognized a few of the regulars, they did me too. I got a few glares back but most were too interested in what Ryuu was saying. “Akira is doing just fine and is resting after filming our new PV. His health has improved and we expect to be able to do another tour in a few months along with the release of the PV.” Ryuu ignored any questions that asked what exactly was wrong with Akira. The official stance was fatigue, but the rumors were flying like they always did. Ryuu handled it all very well and after answering a couple more questions stepped back, my signal that he was done. Waving off the reporters, I led Ryuu back down the hall to the side stairs. I always had at least three routes we could take. His phone was already going off, the sound echoing in the stairwell. “Hey Tatsuya! Yeah. You got it set up? Awesome! I’ll see you then.” Ryuu hummed as I heard the phone snap shut. If Tatsuya was coming over that probably meant I was going to be free for the evening, for some reason that thought didn’t sit too well. I’d actually been looking forward to spending my one night off with him. As if I wasn’t around him enough as it was. Maybe I’m just a glutton for punishment. “Oh, you have to stay for dinner tonight Kenta. Haru and Tatsuya are coming over.” “Huh?” I looked back at him, nearly missing a step. “Tatsuya and I have been planning it for a while now, but with everything it kind of got pushed back.” “Okay . . . well I don’t see why I can’t.” I opened the door for him glancing around to make sure no one was waiting outside. “Cool.” He grinned at me as he slipped by, his fingers running through my hair. “You should let me do your hair.” “Like hell.” “Oh come on, Haru let’s Tatsuya dress him up.” Okay . . . that was not something I needed to know about Haru and since when was Haru hanging out with Tatsuya? Seeing the hopeful, almost pleading looking on Ryuu’s face I sighed. “Fine you can do my hair but that is it! Don’t even ask to do anything else.” “Oh! Thank you Kenta! I’ve been dying to do your hair. I know just how I’m going to do it too.” I don’t know what disturbed me more, the fact that I’d agreed or that Ryuu already had a style in mind. “Well fuck.” Ryuu Tatsuya and Haru stayed for quite a while. Cleaning up the empty beer cans from the living room I smiled seeing Kenta sprawled on the couch. It was kind of unusual to see him so relaxed. He looked entirely too good at the moment and I wondered how he did it. I had to work hours to look that sexy and he did it without even trying. His eyes were half closed but I could tell he was watching me as I walked around the living room. It gave me a rush, my heart suddenly pounding harder, my skin tingling. “Did you have fun?” His voice was a bit slurred by too many beers. “Yeah, did you?” “Yeah, though it’s weird seeing Haru like that.” “He’s happy. How is that weird?” It had been entirely too cute to see Haru and Tatsuya together. It was kind of odd to think that the normally acerbic and sometimes violent Haru was so considerate and gentle with the petite escort. Though the relationship obviously was working for the two of them which made me happy. Tatsuya and I had planned tonight, hoping that Kenta would get the hint. Though it didn’t seem to be working. Maybe I would have to do something to help it along. “No, that’s not what I meant.” Kenta pushed himself up on the couch. “He’s fun at work. He’s always joking with someone, it was just . . . different. He treats Tatsuya like he’s made of glass or something.” I giggled, unable to help it. “No not really. He’s just tender and sweet and affectionate. Tatsuya eats it up.” Kenta laughed. “Haru? Sweet?” “Yes.” I walked over standing in front of him looking down at him. The man was impossibly good looking and it took all my self control not to pounce him right then and there. “Is that so hard to believe?” “Umm . . . yes.” “Really? You know there are a lot of people who would say the same of you. They only see the brusque, harsh bodyguard.” He blinked at me the smile fading just a bit. “I’m not harsh.” “I know you aren’t.” I knelt down, grabbing a beer can that had somehow ended up under the couch. Setting it on the coffee table I let my gaze travel up. His dark eyes met mine and I realized I was dying to know what he was thinking. The way he was looking at me was making my whole body run hot. I shifted forward so that I was between his knees, my eyes still locked on his. “Believe me, I know you aren’t really like that. You are kind, and considerate, compassionate, honest, forgiving, patient, and stunning.” Long lashes lowered almost hiding the dark eyes. He was smiling at me. “You are so full of shit, Ryuu.” I leaned forward, placing my hands on either side of his hips. “Am I? I don’t think so.”

Kenta I could tell I’d scared him, the way he spun around and backed against the counter the grey eyes wide. Made me feel like shit. I knew how jumpy he could be. What I wasn’t prepared for was to have him suddenly fling himself at me. Not that he didn’t do it that often, I just hadn’t thought a little argument with Akira would set off these kind of tears. I patted his head, stroking his hair as he cried into my t-shirt. I’d come to realize that it calmed him down to have the physical contact. The first few months of working for him had been fucking awkward to say the least. “I should have known . . . I did know . . . I just didn’t think.” Ryuu mumbled his breath hot through the fabric of my t-shirt. I could only assume he was talking about the outfit thing. Akira and Sora had explained why Ryuu had suddenly decided to lock himself in his room at the same time I happened to get to the apartment. “It’s not a big deal, Ryuu. Come on. No reason to cry about it.” “I-I know . . . I just . . . don’t like it when he yells at me.” “Yeah, but you cry when Reiko yells at you too.” “She hits when she yells.” “Fuck yeah. Girl is fucking crazy.” I was glad she wasn’t there to hear me say it. I loved Reiko, but the girl was painful to be around sometimes. God help you if you hurt Akira. You’d be better off cutting off your own balls. “Just, don’t tell her about the outfit.” “No, upset enough with Akira yelling at me, don’t want to get smacked too.” Ryuu finally looked up at me and I felt my heart speed up just a bit as those oddly colored eyes stared at me. “Sorry Kenta. You just get here and I’m being all stupid and emotional.” Grabbing his shoulders I shook him slightly. “What did I say about calling yourself stupid? Quit or I will smack you myself.” Something flickered in his eyes and I felt my stomach drop. I’d seen that look before and it was one I’d never wanted to see again on someone I cared about. The next instant it was gone and he nodded, trying to smile. “I need to go apologize to Akira.” I let him go and stepped out of his way. The slender frame brushed by me and I had the sudden urge to pull him back and make sure he really was alright. Fuck. I rubbed my forehead looking down. What had that look I’d seen been about? I knew where I’d seen it before and that thought scared me shitless. It was my job to keep him safe, safe and happy. I followed him on out into the living room where the other boys were watching a movie. Going to the kitchen I went to see if there were any leftovers. Staring at the empty fridge I knew I shouldn’t be surprised. Hasu might not be any taller than Akira but he ate enough for both of them put together. If he wasn’t eating he was moving or sound asleep. Grabbing out my phone I called the closest carry out and ordered everyone’s favorite things. Akira and Ryuu were still talking when I hung up but things seemed less tense. Ryuu was laughing and smiling again and Akira was gesturing as he described something. Leaning against the counter I watched them for a little bit. The general public had no idea that the members of Bloody Agony were such close friends even outside of work. Ryuu had a lot to do with that. He needed them, just as much as they needed each other. It really was like a little family. While I waited for dinner to arrive, I called Hayate to check on how things were going at the bar. It was a slow night so he told me to stay put. “Daisuike had a bit of a rough day today.” “Oh?” That was unusual. Normally all Daisuike had to do was look at someone to get what he wanted. “Um yeah. From what I heard him and Jiro both got the shit beat out of them.” “What?” I said it too loud and saw the boys look over at me. Turning my back I lowered my voice. I didn't like to involve the band in anything gang related if I could help it. That Akira's brothers ran the gang was enough. “What the fuck happened? Why didn’t they call?” “It went down too fast from what Jiro told me. I guess Ruka is throwing a fit about it though.” I couldn’t say I blamed him. If anyone ever hurt Ryuu . . . I shook my head. It was my job to keep him safe. I’d kill anyone that touched him or any of the boys. “They need anything?” “Nah, though I think Jiro was going to call Akira to come home and help patch them up.” “He ain’t called yet-“ I’d barely got the words out when I heard the distinct ring of Akira’s phone. “Never mind. I gotta go. Talk to you later.” Akira was already on the phone and I frowned watching how pale he suddenly went. “Yeah, yeah I’ll be right there. I gotta go guys. Suke got hurt.” He was already on his feet and headed for the door. The apartment was quiet for a bit after Akira left. Everyone of us knew how close the two brothers where and after almost losing Daisuike a few months ago any little thing scared Akira now. Walking into the living room I put on a movie. I glanced over as Ryuu walked up to me. He glanced up but didn’t hold my eyes for long. “I was . . . just wondering how long you were going to stay tonight?” I looked at him for a moment. “How long do you want me to stay?” A look I’d never seen before crossed his face, but then he glanced away again. “I-I don’t care. I think Sora and Hasu were going to spend the night.” I nodded. That was pretty usual. I knew how much Ryuu hated to be alone. I’d learned pretty quickly that he not only craved attention but needed it. He’d rather skip a meal and do an impromptu signing or meet and greet. If I let him, he’d wear himself to nothing promoting the band. I got the door when the bell rang and took the food thanking the boy. I gave him a generous tip, knowing I’d seen him at another job locally too. I knew what it was like to work multiple jobs just to try to make ends meet. “Hey, foods here guys.” “Oh! You got us food! Sweet! Thanks Kenta!” Hasu, of course, was the first one to the table. He gave me a quick hug, making it impossible to breathe for a moment. The kid was just too fucking strong for his own good. I should know, we sparred with each other on a regular basis. I would seriously get out of shape otherwise and what kind of bodyguard would I be then? Hearing the house phone ring, I frowned and walking over picked it up. The smell of the food was starting to get to me, if I didn’t hurry up Hasu would eat my portion too. He’d already devoured his food and had started on what I’d ordered for Akira. “Ito residence.” “Oh Kenta.” I rolled my eyes hearing Kaori’s trill. “Is my beautiful boy there?” “Yeah, just a sec.” Holding the receiver against my chest I looked around. “Ryuu, it’s your ma.” He jumped up from the table. “Oh! I’m coming.” He smiled at me as he took the phone, his eyes seeming to linger for just a moment. I went back to go see if Hasu had left me any food. “Hey, brat, where is my food.” Hasu looked up at me noddles hanging out of his mouth. He glanced down and had the grace to look sheepish. There were three empty containers around him already. “Sorry.” He pushed the carton toward me and handed over the chopsticks. I handed them back and got my own out. “Fuck Hasu, you ate half of it already. I’m going to kick your ass.” That got me the wide eyed innocent look that he was so famous for. At least it wasn’t fake, usually. I didn’t let it phase me as I stuffed in a mouthful. I waved the now empty chopsticks at him. “Don’t think that look is going to save you. I owe you for last time.” He grinned at me, the cheeky little shit. “Yeah, we’ll see. You said that last time too.” I grunted, shoving in another bite. “Don’t think you know everything about fighting, Hasu. It’s one thing to spar, getting into an actual fight is totally different.” Hasu nodded, his eyes losing some of the innocent sparkle. I could barely hear him when he next spoke. “Yeah, I know.” Clearing my throat I looked around. Sora was sprawled on the couch watching the movie I’d put in, Ryuu had disappeared, probably into the office so he could talk with his mother. “But hey, that’s why we spar right? So we are ready if the time comes.” I didn’t like seeing this subdued side of Hasu. It made me wonder who had fucked with him. A kid as cute and friendly as him shouldn’t have any enemies at all, much less get into fights. He was smarter than me by far and could probably talk his way out of just about any situation. Me . . . I’d rather just get it over with and go on. Words don’t come easy for me. I finished what was left of my dinner and sat back watching him for a moment. He was busy gathering up the empty cartons to throw away. “I probably better get going.” I got up grabbing up my trash. “Jiro might need some help tonight.” Hasu looked up at me. “You might want to tell Ryuu you are leaving. He always gets pouty if you leave without saying anything.” “Oh.” Tossing the cartons I looked down hall, the door to the office was open. “Yeah, I’ll do that.” I poked my head in the office door and grinned seeing him leaning back in the chair, his feet propped up in the desk. The phone was cradled against his shoulder, but he was sound asleep. I could hear the soft murmur of Koari’s voice through the speaker. Walking over, I carefully took the phone laying his head back. “Ito-san, I’m sorry he fell asleep.” I whispered. “Oh,” There was a sigh and a soft laugh from the other end. “I wondered. Thank you for taking such good care of my son, Arakaki-kun. He talks about you all the time.” After telling her good bye I hung up, wondering what she’d meant. Looking down at the sleeping vocalist I shook my head. Why the hell would he talk about me to his mother? Didn’t make a lot of sense to me. Leaning down over him I smiled. “Ryuu, if you are that tired why don’t you go to bed?” His eyelids fluttered for a moment giving the slightest glimpse of grey before closing again. “Will you come with me?”

Togainu no Chi - Ep. 4 Mediafire

Togainu no Chi - Ep. 3 Mediafire