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It's the first time I make a poem... I'm not good at this but... I feel so sad now and I don't know what to do.. I tried to write them down and hope me will feel better... Hope you guys won't laugh at me I suddenly cry…in the middle of night I thought a good sleep …could wipe everything I tried to sing…to forget all the sorrow… But it’s useless … the pain gnawing my heart… Do you know…I feel like getting sick… Of what you did..what you acted and said… I wanna escape from this scary feelings I’m sinking in the despair of love… Could you tell or show me just one time?? Cause I can’t find “me” in your eyes… .. I’m standing by yourside at this moment… Now I really know what I’m scared the most It’s being with you but your heart is far…. … lol it's so short but I really don't know what to write more...

Title: Omerta ~Chinmoku no Okite~; オメルタ Omerta ～沈黙の掟～ Release Date: 22 April 2011 Omerta ~Chinmoku no Okite~ オメルタ～沈黙の掟～ is the latest Boys Love game by Karin Entertainment. Plot: Omerta is defined as a code of silence practiced by the Mafia; a refusal to give evidence to the police about criminal activities. Set in future Japan. Film-noir theme. Modern Tokyo is now a dystopian immigrant city ruled by crime syndicates. Stirring passions between hot-blooded men entangled in hatred, love, betrayal and loyalty. They classified it under: Love and Revenge Hard BL Game (PILP) System Requirements: OS： Windows2000/XP/Vista/7 CPU： PentiumIII 600Mhz minimum （PentiumIII 1Ghz recommended） RAM： 256MB min （512MB recommended） HDD： 3．0GB min （4.5GB recommended） DirectX： DirectX 9.0 Download Links:Part 1 contains a .rar file with the patch on it. Join with HJSplit or 7zip Download Omerta ~Chinmoku no Okite~: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 After installing, copy paste the alsignup patch to the game install directory and just click the .exe icon. Note: Extract the files with winrar. Mount the iso with DaemonTools and install the game. Extract the patch (alsignup_100723b.exe) in the folder with the omerta.exe. Then double click on alsignup_100723b.exe *For a picture guide on how to install it, check this post (by ayachan94) *For Omerta's walkthrough (made by sarah3161) click here For download re-upload requests, post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

this shames me, I think I over worked it, I will try again :leaf9:

This is really moving, sad and makes me want to hug you and never let go. So many great lines though. I love the part "I'm sinking in the despair of love" and "Cause I can't find 'me' in your eyes" I hope you write more but not from having to experience it. T__T

Sensitive Pornograph (uncensored) Anime Title: Sensitive Pornograph Written by: Ashika Sakura Genre: yaoi Number of Episodes: 1 - have 2 part Year : 2004 Plot: Part 1 : The story begins with Seiji Yamada (Voiced by: Kenichi Suzumura), a young shonen manga artist, who develops an affair with a fellow mangaka, who writes hentai, named Sono Hanasaki, who is also his favorite artist. The plot-line develops from Yamada mistaking Sono for a girl. After having discovered him to be a boy, Seiji still falls in love with him, and they have an intimate affair. Seiji becomes distraught when he learns of Sono's past tendencies of sleeping around, and for a time the two become separated. However, they eventually reconcile after Seiji learns of the emotional damage Sono has suffered as a result of being abandoned and used only for sex. Part 2 : The second part begins with Ueno, a student in college, who works part-time as a pet sitter, receiving an assignment to take care of a rabbit. Upon arriving at the specified address, looking for a rabbit named Aki-chan, he finds that there is no rabbit. Instead he discovers a young man bound, naked, in a closet, apparently a sex slave to the man who hired Ueno. Aki-chan is chagrined to realize that his lover/master has created a twist on a sexual thrill situation for himself - he has sent strangers to Aki-chan for sex before, but tricking someone into the apartment is a new twist. Aki-chan knows his master wants to watch from a distance while Aki-chan has sex with the duped Ueno. Explaining that his master will get mad if things don't go his way, and may even hurt Ueno, Aki-chan persuades him to have sex to ..... Download Sensitive Pornograph OVA: Download Watch Sensitive Pornograph Online (HD Quality): Sensitive Pornograph Online For download re-upload requests, post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

Togainu no Chi Anime Togainu no Chi (咎狗の血 | true blood) Based on: Nitro+CHiRAL's game Genre: Action Drama Sci-fi Shounen Ai Summary: After being devastated in the third World War (known as The Third Division), Japan was divided in two. Several years after the end of the war, a crime organization called Vischio has taken control of the destroyed city of Toshima (formerly Tokyo, Japan's capital city), where they are holding a battle game known as "Igura". The main character, a young man named Akira, is falsely accused of a crime. Once arrested, a mysterious woman appears before him, offering him freedom if he agrees to participate in Igura and defeat Igura's strongest man: the king, or "Il-re". The story follows Akira's life in the harsh, lawless Toshima as he fights both to survive and to unravel the mysteries developing around him. (Source: Wikipedia) Download Togainu no Chi Anime: Ep 1 Ep 2 Ep 3 Ep 4 Ep 5 Ep 6 Ep 7 Ep 8 Ep 9 Ep 10 Ep 11 Ep 12 For download re-upload requests, post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

Title: Lovely Sick Author/artist: Ohmine Shoko Genre: Yaoi Warnings: Age gap Groups scanlating: Essence of Purity Scanlation status: 2 Volumes (Ongoing) Status in country of origin: 6 Volumes (Ongoing) Year: 2003 Volume 1-2 Volume 3 (Jpn) Volume 4 (Jpn) Volume 5.a (Jpn) Volume 5.b (Jpn) For download re-upload requests, post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

Original name: みちづれポリシー Manga ALT. names: Drang der Herzen, Michidure Policy, The Path to Love, Traveling Companion's Policy, Uten Kekkou Rule Original run: 2008 Description: Shinohara, who liked to take care of others like a mother, and Nishioka, who loved sweet things just like a kid (with big build), were good friends. Shinohara loved Nishioka, but was totally a coward when it comes to love. He always thought that “this love is impossible” and continued to be Nishioka’s good friend when he blurted out his feelings unintentionally. To Shinohara’s surprise, Nishioka accepted him and they started to go out. But Shinohara was having doubts and wouldn’t want to believe in Nishioka. What should Nishioka do? Manga-type: Manga Series Written by: Kitakami Ren Drawn by: Kitakami Ren Published by: Libre Shuppan Group(s) Scanlating: Attractive Fascinante Status: Completed Completely Scanlated: Yes Completely Translated: Yes Genres: Romance, Slice of Life, Yaoi Categories: Co-workers; Love at First Sight; Hidden Feelings Main Characters: Shinohara, Adaptations available: N/A Recommendations: Kissing, Kakko Warukute Kakkoii Kimi, Happy Days, Koi ni Tsuite, Gerbera Read Michizure Policy Online Michizure Policy Download Michizure Policy Manga Download link removed by scanlator's request

Synopsis The story is about a woman who falls into a coma after a car accident. To revive, the Death Scheduler gives her 49 days to convince three people (apart from her parents) to shed genuine/sincere tears for her. To fulfill her mission, she enters the body of another woman. Plot In "49 Days," Shin Ji-Hyun (Nam Gyu-Ri) falls into a coma after a car accident. Making matters all the more tragic, her wedding was right around the corner. Meanwhile, Song Lee-Kyung's (Lee Yo-Won) soul becomes possessed by Shin Ji-Hyun's spirit. Song Lee-Kyung then comes across Han-Kang (Jo Hyeon-Jae), who was Shin Ji-Hyun's first love. If the three people who truly love Shin Ji-Hyun cries for her within 49 days then she will survive. Main Cast Jo Hyeon-Jae - Han-Gang Lee Yo-Won - Song Lee-Kyung Jeong Il-Woo - Angel of Death Nam Gyu-Ri - Shin Ji-Hyun Bae Su-Bin - Shin Ji-Hyun's fiancee Seo Ji-Hye - Shin Eun-Jung Kang Seong-Min omg..i recommended to you to watch it ...it's so nice..

For the lovely and talented JenovaVII (wish the pic was better >

ylover drawin somethin im usin paint, so bear with the bad drawin :msn_red_fox 14

I am glad to hear that ichii_kun We all love you too!foxy2 And you should definitely try to write more! You are so good :hamtaro-005 (6):

“Huh?” Tetsu is suddenly face to face with a very pinchable Haido. How now, brown cow? Hyde wanting to be a vampire in an art show is totally out of place but aren’t vampires artistic too? Hmmmm…I remember reading about this in high school. I know…but if he dresses up as a vampire, what will that make us? A vampire lair? A vampire den? A bat cave? Are we all going to dress up as vampires like him? They might kick us out of the party. Plus I am sooooooooooo not vampire material. loool I like this part the mosttt...... Your fic is cooollll...It interests me so much... Thank you for posting this...*tight hug* and wish you can post more...I still remember your fic "A day of Dai and Mao"...I reallly love it...

lool... all you guys made me feel sooo touchy from the bottom of my heart.... I has received so many sweet praises, many warm consolations and hugs.... How could I say now?? I love you all.... I will try to live well and forget all the bad things .......

Ryuu I couldn’t stop pacing. I could feel Sora’s eyes on me as he sat on the couch. Hayate and Isao had left about thirty minutes ago and Kenta was in my bed resting. “Ryuu . . . he’s okay. He’s just a little banged up.” “I know!” I flung my arms up in frustration. “He has a concussion though. He just goes out for a drink and five guys jump him? What the fucking hell?” Sora shrugged, his voice soft. “It’s part of his job Ryuu. From what Iesada said it was a rival gang and he was on contested territory.” “Its fucking stupid and you know it.” “I’m not arguing with you about it Ryuu. You knew when you hired him that he hadn’t given up being yakuza.” I flopped down on the couch next to him and crossed my arms over my chest. “It’s just so frustrating. I hate seeing him hurt and . . . something else is wrong. He’s even quieter than usual.” “He did say his jaw hurt.” I shot a look at Sora and he held up a hand. “Hey, I’m just saying. Maybe it hurts to talk.” I slumped down, knowing I was pouting and not caring in the least. “We have a concert this weekend. What if he can’t work?” “That’s not all you are worried about.” I laid my head over on Sora’s shoulder, sighing. “No. I’ll go talk to him in a bit.” I never got the chance. He didn’t wake up by the time I was ready for bed, so I just curled up next to him. When I woke up the next morning he was gone. There was a text on my phone telling me breakfast was on the table and that he’d be back in time for dinner. I figured he was trying to get his bike fixed. It was his only means of getting around. He hated taking public transportation. So did I for that matter. Buses are filthy. I sent him a quick text. I’ll make dinner tonight. One came back just as fast. Don’t you fucking dare. I laughed and typed out my response. My kitchen, means I can do what I want in it. It took him a little bit longer to respond but I laughed out loud. God how I loved that man. Jack off instead. That actually sounded like a good idea. Maybe later. I had stuff to get done before I headed out with Sora to go get his birthday present. It was kind of hard to believe that he was going to be turning twenty-one in a few days. I was going to be twenty one next March. That made me wonder when Kenta’s birthday was. Had I already missed it? I would feel horrible if that was the case. I wondered if he was going to be nineteen or twenty. I honestly wasn’t sure. I’d have to go check his paper work. Some boyfriend I am. Can’t even remember his birthday. It took me thirty minutes to find his stuff. I really did not get Reiko’s filing system. June. Wow and he was going to be twenty. So he was younger. He sure as hell didn’t act it. My eyes dropped down the paper and I realized he had no emergency contact. None. No family. Nothing. It caused a soft pain in my chest. The only contact listed was a woman. A Takemitsu Shiori. The number was for a local parole office. His parole officer? That was his only contact? Why hadn’t he at least put Hayate or Isao was an emergency contact? Or even Daisuike? Or me . . . wait that wouldn’t work. If he was with me and there was an emergency that wouldn’t work. Still yet it got me to wondering, not for the first time, just why Kenta had went to juvenile corrections. From what Akira had told me, no one knew for certain. Not even Hayate and Daisuike. He flat out refused to talk about it. Taking a deep breath, I blew it out softly and put the file back. It wasn’t like there weren’t things I didn’t keep from him. It just worried me. Who was this Rame person and why would he have been dreaming about him? From his reaction it had to be something bad. I gasped and clapped a hand over my mouth as a sudden thought hit me. I didn’t get to dwell on it as I heard the front door open. “Hey Ryuu! You decent?” I scrambled to my feet and trotted out to the hallway. “No, but you don’t care.” I grinned at Sora as he just shook his head. “Go put clothes on Ito, you damn exhibitionist.” “Meh, you’re just jealous you don’t look this good naked.” “Short and hairy?” “Oi! I’m not hairy!” I stomped my foot glaring at Sora, though I couldn’t help glancing down. I did have more hair than Kenta, but he didn’t seem to care at all. Though he didn’t like stubble, which I found rather cute. “And everyone is shorter than you. Giant strawberry colored freak.” “Well if you are going to call names I guess I won’t share the food Gramps sent over.” “Ah! Oh! Kenta left me breakfast!” I’d gotten totally sidetracked. Over breakfast Sora and I discussed the upcoming concert and the set list. As always he was concerned about not overtaxing Hasu. The little guy put his heart and soul into drumming and sometimes his blood. Though after he’d passed out onstage during our tour we were a lot more careful about making sure he got breaks and didn’t play until he was too exhausted to move. Reiko got very -very pissed at me if I did more than two encores. Though, obviously the whole band had to agree to do them. Three was our absolute limit. Usually by the third time, we’d just come out and throw free stuff at the fans. Three is pushing it even for me. You put on an hour to two hour show and three encores can make it last another hour more, easy. That’s a fucking long night, as Kenta would put it. Thinking of Kenta reminded me of something else. “Hey Sora . . . you know Kenta went to juvie, right?” “Yeah I heard him and Akira talking about it. Apparently they went to the same one but just missed seeing each other, different cell blocks. Neither of them talk about it much.” “Yeah, he um . . . kind of let a name slip the other day.” Sora raised his eyebrows at me, the deep green eyes inquisitive. “Really? Good slip or bad slip, you seem kind of . . . upset about it.” “Well . . . that was partly my fault. Sora . . . I-I’m afraid he got raped in juvie.” I went on in a rush seeing the shocked expression on his face. “He did say that something had happened, that someone had tried and he’d beat them up but . . . sometimes just the way he acts reminds me of-“ “Us.” I nodded seeing the pain simmering just behind Sora’s eyes. “I’m sorry to bring it up Sora.” He shook his head, the red hair whipping back and forth. “No, we both went through it. If he did too . . . then you know how to help, right? Or did you want me to talk to him.” “I . . . I was kind of hoping you would. From . . . from what he’s said it was a gang . . . “ “Oh . . .” Sora looked down his voice soft. “I see.” “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought it up. I’m sorry Sora.” I jumped up rushing around the table to grab him in a hug. He let me hug him for a moment before gently pushing me away. “It’s okay Ryuu. It’s been a long time since I’ve thought about it honestly.” I sat back down, watching him intently. “Are you sure you’re alright?” “Yeah.” He nodded his eyes on his empty plate. “Just, if he was gang raped, there are a lot of other things involved. It’s not like what happened with you and Naoki.” “I-I know . . . I was there, remember.” His smile was so sad it broke my heart, tears stinging my eyes. “That had to have been so hard for you Ryuu.” I shook my head quickly, wanting to banish those images. “It was horrible. Utterly and completely devastating, Sora. I couldn’t do anything to help you.” He reached across the table and wiped the tear off my cheek. “You tried and that is all that matters, Ryuu. You are the best friend I’ve ever had. You’ve always been there for me. If you want me to approach Kenta about it I will. Therapy has done wonders for me and maybe he’ll benefit from it too. You know how much you improved after you went. Even after the stuff with Naoki. I promise it will help him if he goes.” “I hope so. Sometimes he just seems so . . . lost and alone even when he’s right next to me.” We spent the rest of the morning talking about less tragic subjects, which I was happy about. Sometimes those things needed to be discussed. I’d had a few people over the years ask why Sora and I had never got together, considering how close we are. It’s simple. I could never, ever do anything sexual with him. Not after what happened to him . . . to us. I love Sora, but he is more of my brother than anything. I wouldn’t have it any different. He was playing a video game when Akira, Reiko and Hasu got in from school. Then it was time to practice. Honestly this was my favorite time of day, other than spending time with Kenta. To get to be with my friends and make music together, there is nothing better. Except being with Kenta. Nothing came close to that.

Kenta I spent the rest of the day tracking down the rest of the leads. Oddly things were starting to point back to the gay bar. “Yeah, the owner was complaining that one of the customers keeps roughing up his escorts.” I frowned listening to the bartender as I sipped at my coke. No rum, unlike Suke. Can’t stand the stuff. This guy was pretty good. I didn’t put the flourishes into my pouring like he did. Maybe if I did I’d get better tips. Or tips at all. Reiko was about the only person that fucking tipped me. “Got a name?” “Nah, you know how they are about client confidentiality.” “What?” “Confidentiality, you know . . . privacy?” “Oh . . . yeah that makes sense.” He shook his head at me a strange look on his face and went back to wiping out glasses. “Anyway, if you need info that bad you should talk to the escorts.” “Fuck no.” “What? You got something against fags?” He raised an eyebrow at me and I almost laughed in his face. “No. Not exactly.” I set my drink down looking at it for a moment. “You heard anything about a guy named Obuchi Rame?” He set the glass down carefully, his eyes narrowing slightly. “Word has it that he made parole.” “Yeah I’d heard that too. Anyone saying anything?” “Not yet but . . . he was only out of juvie for a month before he violated his parole last time.” I grunted. I knew that much. “Yeah, he went to the big boy prison after that.” “What’s your connection with him?” I picked my coke up and took a long slow drink before setting it down and looking up at the man. “He was my cell mate in juvie.” “Oh . . . Oh! Shit man I had a buddy who was in with you guys. Oda? He said that fucker had a sadistic streak, tried to rape his cellmate and almost got gutted. That wasn’t you . . . was it?“ “It wasn’t like that.” Better lie now or my rep was shot to hell and back. “We didn’t get along and I ended up in isolation after a fight with him. The gutting part’s right.” “Shit man.” He shook his head focusing on the pitcher he was filling with beer. He handed it off to a waiter and looked back at me. “So what are you doing out here? Don’t like your new job?” “Huh?” “The bodyguard thing.” “Oh, no that’s easy. The band is fun. They are the biggest fucking dorks you’ve ever met for being rock stars. It’s all the crazy ass fan girls that get on my nerves. Sometimes I think being a yakuza is safer.” He laughed at that and we talked for a bit longer about nothing much. I’d just finished my coke and was getting ready to pay when his eyes narrowed as he looked up and over my shoulder. I instantly tensed, my hand sliding down to my hip, my fingers brushing over the sheath were my knife was hidden. He slowly inclined his head while at the same time moving away from me. “You might want to move.” I spun around, crouching low. An arm swept through the air where I had been just a second ago. I had a quick glance at a dark suit with a white shirt. Lashing out I slammed my fist into his side. He fell back but there were three more waiting. Four dark suits and then I spotted the cream colored suit behind them. Shit. Another gang? But who? No time. I side stepped a lunge but that brought me within range of the other guy. I blocked the punch and landed one of my own. He grunted and staggered back crashing into a table. “Oi!!! Take it outside shit heads!” Like there was time for that. Who the fuck were these guys? Most gangs knew better than to just attack a Kobayashi. I dodged a fist while knocking down a kick aimed at my stomach. Shit! These guys weren’t fighting fair. At this rate . . . fuck! I tried to move back but the bar was in the way. A foot slammed into my chest and I bounced off the bar and directly into a punch. Shit that hurt, my back throbbing as I tried to take a breath. Flinging up an arm, I tried to block the next punch only to realize too late it was a distraction as I was tackled from the side. Stars burst all around me as my head cracked against the bar. After that I didn’t feel a whole lot, just vague impressions of movement and the sound of voices. Then someone was hauling me up and I blinked several times realizing I was being drug outside. Fuck! I tried to pull away and to my complete horror I was bodily picked up and thrown over someone’s shoulder, a bony shoulder that cut into my stomach and made breathing even more difficult. “Oi! What the hell are you doing?” That was the bartender. What did he care? Fuck this hurt. I couldn’t even find the strength to lift my head. It was pounding so hard it was making me dizzy. Then we were outside. The sudden brightness too much, I squeezed my eyes shut and just tried to breathe. “He out?” “Not sure.” “Put him down here.” I was dumped on the ground and then propped against a wall. I really wished I could fucking snap out of it. I wanted to rip these guys apart. “You sure this is the right guy? He’s kinda small to be-“ “No it’s him. See.” There were fingers on my arm and it was lifted, my sleeve pulled back. The small dragon tattoo on the inside of my wrist was the only one I had. “Kobayashi’s crest. He’s one of their enforcers. Boss’ description of him was dead on too.” Boss? So it was another gang. I choked as water was suddenly splashed in my face. Oddly it seemed to snap me out of the daze I’d been in. “I’m gonna fucking kill you fuckers.” I glared up at them, and forced myself to my feet, using the wall for support. There were five of them. Four dark suits and the cream. They all had their hair slicked back and dark glasses on. It was the police batons and brass knuckles that caught my attention more than anything. Cream suit stepped forward and taking his glasses off looked down his fat nose at me. “We are just delivering a message. Stay in your territory and back off the questions.” “Fuck you.” He smirked at me. “No, I think it would be the other way around.” He stepped forward and before I could move had grabbed me around the neck. He slammed me back against the wall. “You will lay off or I’ll tell Obuchi where to find you.” Something must have showed on my face cause he laughed. A low nasty sound. “Yeah . . . didn’t think you’d like that. He’s looking for you, ya know.” I felt my eyes widen. A very different kind of weakness hit me and breathing was suddenly much harder than it should have been. Just thinking about him had my heart pounding. He was looking for me? Then Ryuu was in serious danger. Fat nose was still talking. “So, just stick to following around those fags you work for in that band and stop with all the questions.” I grabbed his wrist and twisted sharply, ripping his hand off my neck. He yelped and had to turn to keep me from snapping his wrist. “They ain’t fags and if you know whose got it out for them you better fucking tell me before I break your fucking arm.” “I ain’t telling you shit, cocksucker!” I twisted harder and then with my foot shoved him into the two guys who were coming up fast. There was a short scuffle, too short and ended with me bleeding on the pavement. Fuck I was not having a good day. *** “Kenta . . . come on man . . . Kenta! Shit!” What was Hayate so pissed about? “Fuck! Isao I’m going to need your help.” I was being lifted. What the fuck was going on? I’d had enough of being carried around today. “Shit Kenta you need to eat more. Never mind Isao, I’ve got him. Did you find his bike?” “Yeah both tires are slashed and somebody keyed the shit out of the paintjob.” “Fuck.” I got my eyes open. “Finally!” Hayate was looking down at me his eyebrows nearly meeting over his nose. “Shit man, who fucked you up?” “Put me the fuck down.” It hurt to talk, my jaw throbbing in time with my heart beat. I didn’t like that as soon as he put me down I felt like I was going to fall right back on my ass. “Some stupid gang thought they could imitate me.” “You mean intimidate.” I glared at Isao. Why did he always have to correct me? “Yeah whatever.” “Intimidate you. Why?” I shrugged and winced. My shoulder was sore too. Probably from slamming into the wall. “Guess they didn’t like me drinking in their bar. What the hell are you doing here anyway?” “The bartender called Jiro, said you’d gotten taken down and drug out. He sent us over to check on you. Good thing we did. You look like shit, Arakaki.” I looked away from Isao feeling like he was looking right though me. “We’ll load up your bike in my truck and take you home. You got money for new tires?” “Yeah. Just take me to Ryuu’s.” I watched while the two of them got my bike loaded into the back of Isao’s Nissan. I was going to kill those guys next time I saw them. It was going to cost me the next months pay to fix my bike.

A rabbit and a wild boar? And the boar is in love with the rabbit? hahaha They are very cute! Mine:

Ryuu I woke in a slight panic. Kenta hadn’t come home last night . . . or rather this morning. I’d stayed up as late as I could but had finally crashed out on my bed. I went to sit up and realized I was no longer laying on top of the covers and something was weighing them down beside me. My eyes widened and I gasped softly seeing Kenta asleep beside me. He was lying on his stomach, the pillow bunched up under his head. Slowly, almost afraid to touch him, I moved the strand of hair covering his eyes. He looked so peaceful and it made my chest ache looking down at him. My relief was so profound it almost made me cry. He was here. Here beside me. Snuggling back under the covers I curled up next to him, just watching him sleep. His hair was still wet and he smelled of my shampoo. I couldn’t stop myself from sliding my hand along the smooth contours of his back and was a little surprised to find that he was only wearing boxers. He never went to bed without wearing both boxers and pajama pants and socks usually. At least he never had when he’d stayed over before. It was entirely too tempting and I wondered if he’d done it on purpose. Why else would he come to bed mostly naked? Licking my lips I moved closer shivering as my erection brushed the smooth skin of his leg. Sliding my hand further down I rested it on his lower back, just above the waistband, waiting to see if there was any reaction. He didn’t so much as twitch. Grinning to myself I slipped my hand lower under the fabric. His skin was so warm and still a little damp from his shower and I wondered how long he’d been asleep. Looking up at his face, there was still no change, his breathing as deep and regular as ever. He wasn’t as heavy a sleeper as Akira but he slept pretty soundly. Maybe I could surprise him. I wasn’t sure why, but I was feeling mischievous and dying to hear that voice again. Sliding my hand down further, I shivered lightly, my skin prickling in anticipation as my finger tip brushed over the area. I froze as he moved his leg a soft murmur coming from the full lips. He’d actually given me better access with the way he’d brought his knee up. I smirked and slid down along the slim form. Why did he have to have such an exquisite body? He was all smooth skin and perfectly sculpted muscle, the odd scar, but that just added interest. I wondered why he never got a tattoo like Jiro or Daisuike. I’d thought that was part of being part of the clan, but part of me was happy that he hadn’t yet. Maybe it meant it would be easier for him to leave it. Leaning down I kissed the smooth skin of his hip as I pulled the boxers lower. He smelled so good. Just the natural smell of him was enough to comfort me . . . or arouse me as the case was now. I resisted the urge to bite that smooth perfect rear, it was just so tempting it was actually making my mouth water. Instead I wet one of my fingers and slid it over his entrance. I wasn’t actually going to do anything, I more just wanted to see if I could wake him up, maybe if he still wanted to continue once he was . . . It slid in without so much as a sound and I shivered thinking about how incredible it had been to have him under me. He was just so tight, even now. I slowly worked my finger in and out and was slightly surprised to hear a low moan. Oh my god . . . I needed to record him sometime. I couldn’t . . . I had to have him. I didn’t want to wait any longer. Leaning up I felt around for the condoms and lube but only found the lube. Damn it. It would have to do for now. I shuddered gasping as I spread the lube over my erection making sure to use plenty. Working my finger around a few more times I slid it out. Crawling up over him I kissed his shoulder. Never had I felt so aroused by a lover. Maybe it was that I felt more connected to him emotionally than I ever had to anyone else. Slowly, gently I pressed against him unable to bite back the moan as I slipped inside. It wasn’t as difficult as it had been last time though it was still extremely tight. He was totally relaxed this time, unlike last time, and I was able to completely enter that incredible warmth. I had to stop once I was fully inside or risk coming right then. I hadn’t got it fully in yesterday, he’d just been too tight. The feel was unreal, the tight heat surrounding my whole length. It was like the heat from his body set my blood on fire, the rush shooting through me. I felt him tense suddenly, his body jerking. “No! Rame! No!” I gasped softly my elation evaporating. Who was Rame? Before I could move Kenta was twisting around the dark eyes blinking rapidly. His voice seemed a bit off, too high pitched and almost scared sounding. “What the fuck . . . Ryuu?”

. . . I will do a better one soon, I promise.

Title : Tonari ni Iru no ni, Tooi English Translation: You're right by my side, yet so far away. Author : Minase Masara Year: 2008 Status : Ongoing Genre : Romance, Yaoi Plot: Nagisa's good friend, Igarashi Taiga, is the popular guy at their university. After being compared to Taiga as a lover, Nagisa keeps wondering and questions Taiga, who demonstrates his skills with a hot kiss... What will come after that? Read Tonari ni Iru no ni, Tooi Online: Tonari ni Iru no ni, Tooi Download Tonari ni Iru no ni, Tooi: Complete For download reupload requests, please post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

Title: Yamane Ayano Illustrations - Aya Author/artist: Yamane Ayano Scan source: Beautiful Soup Year: 2004 Download link -- Title: AYANO's Rough Illustrations Author/artist: Yamane Ayano Scan source: (?) Year: 2007 Download link -- Title: Trading Cards + Post Card Artbook + Viewfinder's Special Collector's Box Author/artist: Yamane Ayano Scan source: sunflower1343; Yasca Post Card Artbook + Special Download link Trading Cards Download link Manga series by Yamane Ayano For download re-upload requests, post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

Title: Just Friends? (친구 사이?) CHINGU SAI? Country: South Korea Synopsis: Min-soo is on leave from the military and visits his boyfriend Seok-yi. While having fun out on the town, they run into Min-soo mother! When the Min-soo's mother asks about their relationship, Min-soo replies "... just friends." Watch Just Friends? BL Movie Online: Just Friends? Download Just Friends? BL Movie: Megaupload (Raw) Mediafire Links (English Subbed, flv format, but the quality is quite good) Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 For download re-upload requests, post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

Betrayal Knows My Name Anime Title: Uragiri wa Boku no Namae o Shitteiru, Betrayal Knows My Name, 裏切りは僕の名前を知っている Genre: Adventure, Fantasy, Drama, Shoujo, Shounen Ai Author: Odagiri Hotaru Subs: CrunchySubs Format: avi Size: 140 - 180 Mb/ep Summary: Sakurai Yuki is an orphaned high-school student who lives in an institute for the handicapped. Yuki, who possesses a special ability which sometimes allows him to read the thoughts of those he touches, is searching for a meaning to his existence. One day, a familiar young man, Zesu, appears before him. Zesu informs Yuki that he must leave on Walpurgis Night. From that moment onwards, Yuki finds himself in the midst of numerous mysterious incidents, dragged into a millenium-long war involving the demons known as Duras. Watch Betrayal Knows My Name Anime Online: Betrayal Knows My Name Download Betrayal Knows My Name Anime: Uraboku - 01 (avi) Mediafire Uraboku - 02 (avi) Mediafire Uraboku - 03 (avi) Mediafire Uraboku - 04 (avi) Mediafire Uraboku - 05 (avi) Mediafire Uraboku - 06 (avi) Mediafire Uraboku - 07 (avi) Mediafire Uraboku - 08 (avi) Mediafire Uraboku - 09 (avi) Mediafire Uraboku - 10 (avi) 4Shared Uraboku - 11 (avi) Mediafire Uraboku - 12 (avi) Mediafire Uraboku - 13 (avi) Mediafire Uraboku - 14 (avi) Mediafire Uraboku - 15 (avi) Mediafire Uraboku - 16 (avi) Mediafire Uraboku - 17 (avi) Mediafire Uraboku - 18 (avi) Mediafire Uraboku - 19 (avi) Mediafire Uraboku - 20 (avi) Mediafire Uraboku - 21 (avi) Mediafire Uraboku - 22 (mkv) Mediafire Uraboku - 23 (mkv) Mediafire For download re-upload requests, post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

Summary: A wonderful story about Ryuu and Kenta, about love and friendship. A delicious story about how love for friends and lover can make us overcome anything. Status: Complete Author Note: This is not fanfiction. If that is not allowed then please delete. Also this is a multi-chapter novel so expect plot. ^^ Chapter 1a Fantasy Ryuu It can be funny how things change. In just a few months my life is completely different from what it was. Looking back I’m amazed that so much happened in such a short amount of time. Stretching my legs out underneath the table I looked at my band mates. Akira was texting someone, probably Reiko. Sora was in the process of trying to get himself hit. “Stop it Sora.” Hasu yanked the handheld out of the bassist’s reach glaring at him. I didn’t bother to hide my amusement, letting a chuckle slip free. “You are going to lose, just let me beat that boss for you.” “No, I can do it if you’d quit pestering me. Damn it Sora! You made me lose again.” I laughed softly and slid out of my seat, swaying with the movement of the bus. Hasu didn’t cuss all that often and when he did- “Ow! Owowowow! Let go! I’m sorry! I won’t do it again.” I glanced back over to see Hasu with a fist full of Sora’s long red hair holding his head against the table. His eyes were firmly fixed on the small screen even as Sora struggled to get loose. Hasu might be almost a foot shorter and four years younger, but it was pretty obvious that Sora had no chance. Our little drummer was strong enough to flip the tall bassist on his head, quite literally. Turning back around, I opened the small fridge and grabbed myself a Coke. The weekend had gone exceptionally well. Both concerts had been huge hits and I’d met my new best friend. Speaking of Tatsuya, I pulled my phone out of my pocket and grinned seeing the text message. Shopping was on for next weekend. If I got bored this week I might invite him out to eat or something. I’d never met anyone quite like him and we’d had so much fun coming up with new outfit ideas. I really couldn’t wait to see him again. Sitting back down, I took a sip of the coke. Speaking of seeing people again . . . it was going to be a couple of days before I got to see Kenta again. I sighed, running my finger along the lip of the can. Maybe Reiko was right. Maybe I was just chasing after a dream. I just couldn’t let it go. Not yet. After all the time I’d spent around him he’d seen me at my best and my worst and he still was just as patient and kind as ever. I know I’m not the easiest person to get along with. I’m too emotional and act before I fully think things through. At least that is what everyone tells me. I took another sip of the Coke, thinking. “What’s wrong, Ryuu?” I looked up to meet Akira’s light brown eyes. “Nothing, was just thinking.” “Did you have fun this weekend?” I nodded, “Yeah. Tatsuya and I are going to get together this week. He’s got some wicked ideas for new concert outfits.” Akira shook his head, a wry smile twisting the full lips. “You two knowing each other scares me.” I couldn’t help but giggle at that, even if there was a hint of pain in it. “He’s so much fun! Oh my god, I can’t wait to see him again.” Something in Akira’s eyes changed slightly and I looked away knowing it had sounded forced. “What are you hiding Ryuu?” Trust Akira to see right through me. I shrugged, unable to keep the smile in place. Truthfully, I wasn’t looking forward to going back to my huge empty apartment. I loved being with everyone, meeting Tatsuya had seemed to underline the fact that without my friends around I was nothing. That old fear from high school from before I’d met Sora always tried to resurface then. What if they only were friends with me because my family was wealthy? What if it was all fake? With Sora I knew it wasn’t. For one, we’d been friends for too long and his family was almost as well off as mine. “Umm, you guys going to come over sometime this week? We’ve got that new material . . .” “Ryuu, if you want us to come over just say so. You don’t have to make up an excuse for us to come over.” Sora’s gentle tone actually made me feel worse. It made me feel like a whiny, needy, self centered jerk. “Oh no, it’s cool. I was just wondering. I know it’s been a really busy weekend and I don’t expect you guys to come over.” I glanced back over at Akira studying him for a moment. He’d changed in the year since he’d met Reiko. He was more confident and happier. A lot happier. I would never have been able to make him as happy as Reiko did. Even now that thought hurt. I loved him, more than he probably realized, but I’d slowly come to realize that it wouldn’t have worked no matter how hard I tried. That led me to think about Kenta. Just thinking about those sultry dark eyes and the deep voice gave me chills. He was the quiet, calm presence that my life had been lacking for so long. “You are thinking about Kenta aren’t you?” I looked up expecting to get the usual sarcasm from Sora, instead he was looking at me concern clearly visible in the light green eyes. I couldn’t hold his gaze. “Was it that obvious?” “Well lately it’s been pretty obvious that . . . “ Sora paused and looked over at Hasu who was once again absorbed in his game. He picked up the headphones and after plugging them in, put them on Hasu getting a look but no argument. Sometimes the big oaf was more protective than he needed to be. “You like him don’t you?” I looked back over at Akira surprised. “I know how affectionate you are Ryuu, but the way you look at him is totally different.” I took another long drink of my Coke wanting to avoid the conversation. “It’s pointless though. Reiko is right.” “You don’t know Ryuu.” I looked at Sora but his eyes were on Hasu, not the game, but Hasu. I almost smirked, but we were both in the same situation. We liked people we couldn’t have and who were oblivious to our feelings. At least the person I liked was my age. “I know he seems distant, but you are his employer after all.” “What you suggesting I fire him so I can date him?” “No, I’m just saying that you shouldn’t give up.” “I agree with Sora.” Akira’s soft look seemed to sharpen the pain in my chest. “Just give it some time. I’ll see if Suke knows anything, they do work together you know.” “Y-yeah, thanks.” Akira's older brother was a gang member as well and I knew that Suke and Kenta worked together all the time. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to know. I’d rather things stay as they were. I could be happy just being by him couldn’t I? I looked over at where Sora was practically laying over on Hasu to see the screen, softly whispering pointers. It would be worth it just to be Kenta’s friend if nothing else. *** “Oh come on Ryuu! You can’t be serious!” I blinked at Akira surprised. “But I thought you’d like it-“ “It’s a skirt Ryuu! A fucking skirt!” “B-but it’s just part of the outfit-“ “I don’t care! You are not making me the girl of the band.” “I wasn’t trying to! I just thought-“ “Yeah, you thought wrong. Like usual.” I gasped softly, shocked at the hostile tone and glare. I was not used to Akira getting so upset and especially not with me. Grabbing the outfit out of his hands, I backed up. I started to say something, but the way he was looking at me seemed to close my throat off. Turning I fled down the hallway, slamming the door to my room shut behind me. Throwing the offending outfit I sat down on the floor, my back to the door. Closing my eyes I brushed away the tears. I couldn’t handle him yelling at me. His outfit had been the most difficult to get right and for him to so obviously hate it hurt. I’d worked two weeks on the design with Tatsuya’s input. Two weeks for nothing. Tatsuya was going to be so disappointed. Not to mention that now I felt like a complete idiot. “Ryuu?” “Just forget it. You’re right. I’m just stupid and can’t do anything right.” I could hear him sigh through the door. “You’re not stupid Ryuu-“ “No you were right, even Reiko says that all my ideas fail. I should just give up. Why do you guys even bother . . .” I couldn’t stop the tears anymore even as much as I hated them. I pulled my knees up to my chest and buried my face in my arms. I could hear Sora talking to Akira in the hallway but didn’t bother trying to make out the words. Why was I so stupid? I knew how Akira felt about looking feminine. It was just the outfit was perfect for him, or at least I thought so. He looked so good in anything I put him in, it almost wasn’t fair. The voices faded and I decided that I probably should go tell Akira I was sorry. I knew how sensitive he was about looking feminine. I’d just gotten caught up in the excitement and hadn’t been thinking. Going over to the pile of fabric, I picked it up and set it on the bed. It would have to be altered, but I could probably make it into something Akira would feel more comfortable wearing. Going to the bathroom I splashed a bit of cold water on my face trying to wash away the tears, but my eyes were still a bit red. Shaking my head, I glared at myself in the mirror. “You are lucky anyone even wants to be friends with you.” I told the reflection. “Stupid emotional idiot.” “I’d rather you didn’t talk about yourself that way, Ryuu.”

English not my native language and please forgive my future grammar mistakes.

So cute!!! I find your drawings very beautiful and unique! :5yoyo34: Can't wait for more! :hamtaro-005 (8):

. .warm welcome hugz emmzichan foxy3 . .just be comfortable here, everyone here is friendly, just hang out with us (hang out???, lol ), join forum discussions or "knock on the chatroom", if you want someone to talk to (lol ), and we'll open the door for you even the window, nyahahaha rabbit6

Welcome to the forum! I'm pleased to meet you! :hamtaro-005 (12): I hope you will enjoy your time here! :hamtaro-005 (6):

Hello! I wanted to say hi and wish you welcome here! onion3

when i am upset i close my self in my room and listen to music for about an hour i also listen to music when i am bored or i play X BOX or read manga or watch anime

I love your poem so much!!! It is so touchy and romantic! :Red_fox7: We all love you too Ichii_kun

Omg I love it Ichii_kun!!! It was really good! That was your first poem? It seems like you always knew how to write poems It was so beautiful I'm sorry that you are feeling that way though I hope you feel better foxy3

lol Yeah it really was weird XD

Your poem is very very beautiful! :valentine32: So romantic! I like it a lot!

I have a free day tomorrow...but still I gotta learn for my semester papers...I have 3 next week and I already feel exhausted just thinking about them :cuteonion8: The good news is that I gave the test paper at physics and I did it well... I ordered two books written by John Saul, I love this writer, so I decided to buy his books instead of reading online. But from what I've read so far, I'm amazed. After I finish with my sem. papers, I'll have enough time to read whatever I like...Waiting for the books to arrive :msn_red_fox 4

u are very welcome....ur story helped me laugh n release my stress.... kyaaa...reading diz on my exam week is fun....:msn_red_fox 6

. .i'm complaining about this hatred i felt, woooooooooooooooooh! (why should i feel this way towards her?) rabbit11 . .cloudy hate her sister-in-law :msn_red_fox 12 . .cloudy must add more patience :5yoyo32:

Ryuu I woke slowly from the most wonderful dream only to realize I had the real thing sleeping right beside me. No I didn’t. I sat up looking around the room. Where was Kenta? I didn’t hear the shower going, but I did smell food cooking. I grinned. Kenta was always so considerate. Though I would rather he had stayed in bed with me. Maybe he was a little freaked out after this morning. I shivered running a hand through my hair as I thought of that incredible body and the way he’d sounded. I wanted to do that again and very, very soon. I just hoped he wasn’t too sore. Walking into the bathroom I started the shower. A new towel was lying on the counter. Kenta must have taken a shower when he’d got up. I wished he would have at least woke me up. I was a little anxious as to how he was doing, not just physically, but . . . I sighed. He was probably fine. He was very resilient, unlike me. Nothing ever really seemed to faze him. I took a quick shower and got dressed. I did my hair up in a braid knowing he liked that look on me and headed into the kitchen unable to stop grinning. “Hey Kenta what-Sora?” I looked around but it there was no Kenta, I felt the smile slipping, a cold uneasy feeling starting to build in my stomach. I looked at Sora then at Hasu who was busy frying shrimp. “Hey, why didn’t you guys wake me up?” “Well after last night we though you probably needed your rest. Hasu wanted to come cook you dinner. Was Kenta here?” Sora lowered his voice to ask the question and the coldness seemed to spread in my middle. “He’s not now?” Sora shook his head and the coldness solidified in my chest my heart suddenly hurting. Why would he leave? Had I hurt him that bad? Was he mad at me? For him to just leave after . . . he had to be mad at me. “Ryuu! What happened? Did you guys have a fight?” I blinked a few times realizing more must have shown on my face than I realized. I turned away heading for the recording studio. I needed to think and more importantly I needed to call Kenta. Sora’s hand on my arm stopped me in the hall. “Ryuu . . . what is wrong?” “I think . . . I think I messed up really bad last night.” “Well drinking that-“ “No, after that.” I shook my head hard enough it made me dizzy for a moment. “I-I don’t want to talk about it right now. I need to call him.” “Yeah sure. I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me.” I quickly hit the speed dial for Kenta’s number. After four rings it went to voicemail. I bit my lip trying to will away the sharp ache that blossomed in my chest. I closed the phone and leaned against the wall behind me. Opening it again I sent a text message. Can you call me please? Shutting the phone again I held it to my chest my head dropping down. I closed my eyes taking a tremulous breath. How could I have been so stupid? Was I really that selfish and self centered? Angrily I wiped at the tear rolling down my cheek. I jumped nearly dropping the phone as it rang. “What’s goin’ on Ryuu?” “Kenta! Where are you?” “Are you crying?” “N-no.” “What the fuck are you crying about?” He sounded slightly out of breath and there were some odd sounds in the background, but I was too worried about whether he was upset with me or not to really take notice. “Nothing . . . you were gone when I woke up and I thought-“ “Hey, can we talk later. I gotta go. Some stupid Fudoka shit head is trying to stab Isao.” I hung up staring at the phone. He’d called me in the middle of a fight? I wasn’t sure if I was happy or appalled. Sinking down to the floor a soft laugh escaped me. Something seemed to unclench in my chest. It didn’t seem like he was upset with me. He wouldn’t have called me back otherwise. If he was with Hayate and Isao fighting the Fudoka, that meant he’d been called to work. It was almost, but not quite a relief. Now I was scared he’d get hurt again. Covering my face with a hand I couldn’t help laughing both at myself and at the situation. After a little bit I got up and went back into the kitchen to see if there was any food left. I would just have to wait to talk to Kenta when he got home. Sora and Hasu were in the living room playing a video game, the tray of food sitting on the coffee table within easy reach. “Why did you guys come over anyway?” Sora looked over and smiled. “Well I wasn’t sure if Kenta was staying and we didn’t want you to be alone . . .” “Oh.” I looked down. For once I actually felt like being alone. The concert seemed like it had been days ago not just last night. I heard Sora say something to Hasu, but I was too lost in my own thoughts. I gasped startled as my arm was grabbed and I was hauled out of the room. Sora shoved me down in the office chair and kicked the door shut behind him. “Ryuu, what is going on? Is Kenta mad at you about what happened at the concert? Did you guys have a fight?” “N-no . . . not exactly no.” I fiddled with my cell phone not looking at him. “Ryuu, I’m not trying to pry into your guy’s relationship but it worries me seeing you depressed.” “I’m not depressed. I just . . . I think I went too far last night?” “Went too far? With what?” I glanced up at Sora for a moment, meeting the soft green eyes. I looked back down and leaning forward set my phone on the desk. “Sora . . . if Hasu said yes would you do it?” “What? What kind of-“ He stopped and I heard the rustle of cloth as he knelt beside my chair. “Ryuu . . . what happened?” “I think I freaked him out Sora. I’m scared to death he’s upset with me.” “This isn’t about the concert is it?” I shook my head, my braid flipping around my shoulders. “Last night was amazing and so romantic. He took me to this secluded beach once I was released from the hospital. I loved riding his motorcycle with him. It was just so nice to be with him, just the two of us. Even if he seems harsh and gruff he’s actually really sweet and caring and sensitive. I love him so much Sora. That’s why I’m scared I messed up when we got home.” Sora was silent for long enough that I finally glanced over at him. He was looking at me with this unreadable expression. “Ryuu,” His voice was soft, but there was a hint of irritation in it. “You have to stop being so hard on yourself. If you did ‘mess up’ then just apologize and move on. Moping about it doesn’t help anything and you know how frustrated he gets when you pout about stuff.” “Yeah but . . . this wasn’t just a small thing . . . I think-I think I might have hurt him.” “Hurt him? How would you have-“ I turned to look at Sora feeling the pain welling up. Sora’s eyes widened his mouth falling open. “Ryuu you . . . he let you . . .” I nodded my eyes dropping down to my lap. If only Kenta had still been in the bed when I’d woke up, I could have made sure he was alright. It had been one of the most intense love making sessions I’d ever had and I had no idea how he felt about it or if he’d really enjoyed it. “Ryuu I doubt you hurt him, you are too gentle.” Sora put a hand on my knee. “I know you too well for that. I know you would have made it as good as humanly possible for him. Just like I would for Hasu . . . if I ever got the chance.” I couldn’t help but smile at the wry sounding statement. Reaching out I patted Sora’s head. Sora could always make me feel better. “Don’t worry Sora. If I was able to finally get my feelings through to Kenta, I know Hasu will realize yours. Just have to give it time. Maybe if you weren’t so ugly.” “Ugly? Who are you kidding? You’re the ugly one of the group!”

“Okay now what about me? Who do I get to dress up as?” Hyde crossed his arms to his chest and giving Ken, ‘the evil eye’. “Haha! You my dear sweet darling Haido-sama will be THE PAINTER!” Ken gestured with his arms wide. “REALLY? I’LL BE A PAINTER! THAT’S THE COOLEST EVER!!! YOU’RE A GENIUS KEN-CHAN!!” Hyde clasped his hands and was now seeing Ken in a very different light. A very bright light actually blooming with flowers and feathers and sakura blossoms and humping rabbits on the backdrop. “Of course I know that. What do you think I stayed in college for?” Ken smirked with his hands on his hips now. “But you quit college.” Sakura raised an eyebrow at him and chuckled. “I did it for friendship.” Ken looked intently at Tetsu and put an arm around him and squeezed his shoulder for further emphasis. “Anou…you wanted to be in a band cuz this was a place to get a lot of girls, you moron.” Tetsu and punched him in the stomach. “Well that too.” Ken grinned like a Cheshire cat who caught a fish. “Haha! You are such a pervert, Ken-chan!” Hyde snickered and shook his head. “Oh yeah? Look who’s talking Mister-I-May-Be-Small-But-Not-In-Bed! I bet that’s all you ever say to anyone you try to score and you have the nerve to call me the pervert!” “I will take that as a compliment then.” Hyde crossed his arms and nodded his head confidently. “Isn’t it supposed to be like it’s not about the size but how you use it?” Sakura interjected. “Guys, maybe you ought to be thinking like it’s about who you use it for?” Tetsu frowned. He didn’t even know exactly what made him say it but he didn’t want to look like a prude. “Well at least I know who I use it for!” Ken grinned. “Me too!” Hyde smiled. Sakura just laughed. “Gyah! Enough with this pervert talk, so before we wrap up this meeting, it has been decided that we will all dress up according to Ken’s idea. We prepare 6 to 7 tracks for the show. We start practicing tomorrow at 9 AM. Please try not to be late again.” “Why are you all looking at me?” Hyde appeared confused. “Because you were late, little prince and because of you, we almost did not make it to the bus for Hokkaido for our gig there.” Ken leered at him. “I thought we were already okay on that. Why are you bringing it up again? Tet-chan….?” Hyde pouted and looked like he was going to break into tears at Tetsu. Tetsu blanched. He did not really mean to bring it up. It’s just that, well…okay…he did bring it up but of course he has forgiven Haido for it. The poor guy already learned his lesson. He just did not want a repeat of last time. It was not everyday they could be booked for a reasonable gig as this. For once, playing in art exhibit would be a sweet break from the live houses they usually frequented. Hyde continued to pout. “You still hate me. You still haven’t forgiven me.” “Now..now..Haido…of course, Tetsu-san has forgiven you. It’s just that none of us have been late for a gig except for you. But that’s all in the past now. Right, Ken?” Sakura tries to console Hyde using his deep sexy bedroom voice. “Yeah. Just so you remember that, you little brat.” Ken nodded. “Right, Tetsu-san?” Sakura looked at Tetsu. “Of course.” Tetsu smiled gently while looking at Hyde squeezing himself in Sakura’s arms as the drummer rubbed his back consolingly. “Are you alright now, Haido-chan?” Sakura looked down at the bundle (Hyde) attached to his arm. “I guess so. I’ll be good. I won’t be late like last time.” Hyde looked down. “That’s good, Hyde.” Tetsu smiled and tucked his yellow notebook in his pocket. “Anou…would it be okay if I stay at your place tonight, Tet-chan? That way I make extra sure that I’d wake up on time?” Hyde beamed. “Sorry, man. I’m afraid that can't be possible. My family will be visiting and they’ll be occupying the entire flat.” Tetsu looked anguished. “How about you Saku-chan?” Hyde looked at Sakura. “My place is very small and there is only one bed.” Sakura shrugged. “I promise I won’t take too much space.” Hyde smiled. “Yeah right! Before you know it, Sakura would be kissing the floor because of you. You sleep like a clock, Haido! You have your arms and legs spread out like an eagle. Not only that, you have the annoying habit of hogging the blanket to yourself and worse, YOU SNORE!” “I DO NOT! YOU’RE MAKING IT ALL UP! You should see yourself how you sleep! If I only had a camera, I’d have proof.” “Oh come on! You don’t! You’re just trying to turn this on me!” Ken waved him off. Sakura shook his head and lighted another cigarette as he watched the two bickering again. He never had a problem having the diminutive vocalist crash at his place whenever he pleased. He had the run of the apartment anyway. Maybe he ought to get a duplicate key for him. Note to self, make duplicate key for Haido-chan. :hamtaro-005 (8)::hamtaro-005 (18): "Okay remind me again why in the world did I end up here at your place?" Hyde poked Ken's back while Ken was opening the door to his apartment. "Because Sakura got a sudden call from his brother to meet him that's why." "I thought they didn't like each other much." Hyde followed him inside as they began to take off their shoes. "Yes they do. They're just not that icky mushy type." Ken placed the keys on the counter top table. "I wonder what it would be like if I had a sibling. I'd probably spoil them to death." Hyde mused. "I don't think so. You're such a brat, Haido." Ken snickered. "Not my fault!" Hyde pouted. "Just so you know the only reason i am sleeping in your pad because Saku-chan and Tet-chan cant be available and that I need to get be on time for our practice tomorrow." Hyde uttered matter-of-factly with his hands on his sides. "Yeah..yeah..." Ken took off his jacket and hanged it on the back of the door. "So where do i sleep?" Hyde smiles. "Duh? The floor of course! Just get the extra futon inside the cabinet to your left." Ken was patting his pants for his lighter. "WHAT?! YOU CANT MAKE ME SLEEP ON THE FLOOR YOU IDIOT! I'M A GUEST HERE!" Hyde looked at him aghast. Talk about hospitality. Ken may be a genius but he can be such an ass. "Guest? Are you out of your mind? You are forced to CRASH at my place so I could be your human alarm clock. I'm actually doing you a HUGE favor letting you sleep here and FYI! You can't be a guest. We've known each other far too long for us to go into this proper host and guest shit." Ken walked to his kitchen to get a cold beer. "Then why is there a cat on your bed?" Hyde pointed accusingly at the big ball of fluff nestled comfortably right smack in the middle of Ken's bed. "That cat has a name and it's Elizabeth. SHE has rights, you know. SHE lives here. You don't." Ken shrugged and took a swig of his beer. Hyde narrowed his eyes as he watched Ken opening the fridge for a can of tuna. Hyde shot another glance at the cat who has now woken up to see what the ruckus was all about. Elizabeth looks at Hyde. Man and cat are now locked in a staring battle. This goes on for another 30 seconds. Owner of cat notices the two still eye locked and shrugs and enters the kitchen to pour cold milk on Elizabeth's cup. BACK IN THE BEDROOM. Cat blinks. Hyde twitches. Cat stretches and simply jumps off the bed, walks out of the bedroom and enters kitchen and rubs herself on Ken's legs. Ken picks her up and rubs her back as she is positioned comfortably with her head tucked on his shoulder. Inside the room, they hear a yell. "WHAT THE HELL, HAIDO?!" Ken looks at him surprised. Elizabeth gives him the evil eye. "HAHA! I WON! I WON!!! VICTORIOUS!!! HAHA!!! NO ONE CAN BEAT ME!!!" Hyde was jumping and laughed triumphantly. Author notes: I hope you enjoyed this dizzy fanfic of mine which I wrote years ago. I posted this to distract everyone till I can post my promised Takumi-kun fic. Hehehe!

Ryuu I closed my phone for what felt like the hundredth time. I’d already taken a nice hot bath and gotten dressed for the concert and still they weren’t back. What was Yoshiru up to, taking off with Kenta like that. Looking at the food I’d ordered well over an hour ago, I blew out a frustrated breath. I was too nervous to eat. I jumped up out of the chair hearing the front door open. “We’re back.” Yoshiru grinned widely at me as I tried to peer around him to where Kenta was. Kenta looked positively dejected, not even looking up from the floor, the normally square shoulders slumped. What had happened while they were gone? “Ryuunosuke, can I talk to you in the office for a moment?” I nodded shocked to hear him speak in English. I shut the door behind us and turned to face him. “What is going on?” “English please.” “Why? What does it matter?” “Because I want to keep this conversation private.” I sighed, rolling my eyes. Sora and I did this all the time when we didn’t want people to know what we were talking about. “Fine. What is going on?” “Kenta is malnourished.” “What!” I couldn’t help the gasp. “I just had him at a private clinic to make sure he is clean and free of any STDs and while they were checking that I had them run a few other tests as well. He is low on almost everything.” “Wait . . . you had him checked for sexually transmitted diseases?” I was aghast that my father would go so far. “Of course. You two are intimate and I don’t want you contracting something.” “Yoshiru you can’t just take my boyfriend and make him take those kinds of tests.” No wonder Kenta had looked so depressed. “Think of it as a condition of his employment. He is perfectly clean and physically sound. My only concern is the malnutrition. The doctor said he was surprised that Kenta wasn’t sick more often. He needs more fruit and vegetables in his diet. I expect you to make sure he’s getting them.” Staring at my father I slowly shook my head. “You realize that he already was tested for stds, right?” Yoshiru raised an eyebrow at me. “When you had him in for the broken ribs? They only tested for the most common. I had him tested for everything.” “E-everything?” “Yes and now that that little issue is cleared up I can confidently tell your mother that gay sex is not going to kill you.” I suddenly felt light headed. “Though she is rather disappointed that she won’t be getting any grandchildren.” “I-I better go check on Kenta. He hates doctors.” “Mm yes. I could hear him cussing the doctor all the way out in the waiting room. It was quite amusing.” I didn’t even know what to say to that. Heading out of the office I spotted Kenta in the kitchen. He was leaning against the counter his chin resting on his chest, his arms folded. It was a common posture to find him in when he was upset and thinking about something. I stood there for a moment wondering if he would notice me. Finally I walked up to him, lightly touching his shoulder. He didn’t move. “Hey . . . dad says the tests all came back clean-“ “Don’t give a shit. Ain’t been with nobody in four fucking years, could have told him if he’d fucking asked.” It was kind of cute to see him pouting and I couldn’t help but gather him up into my arms. It was still a shock when he didn’t push me away. He must be pretty upset, it made me feel bad. “Hey it wasn’t that bad was it? At least now you know for sure right?” “They stuck a fucking swab up my cock, you how fucking bad that hurts?” “Yes I’ve had it done, Kenta. It is uncomfortable but necessary.” “Fuck that. You’re the only guy I’ve ever been with and we used a condom both times.” He was getting more upset, his hands coming up to try and push me away. “Shh, it’s fine, it’s over now. I know I’m clean so as long as we are faithful to each other we won’t have to do that again. Right?” That seemed to calm him down, he quit trying to push me away and I heard him sigh, the muscled chest rising and falling slowly against me. I ran my fingers through the loose hair at the base of his neck then tugged the pony tail gently. “Dad is right, this is a good look for you.” “Don’t fucking tease.” There was a soft laugh from behind me and I felt Kenta jerk, but didn’t let him go. “I’ll see you two later. Kenta, take good care of my son.” There was a soft ‘fuck you’ breathed into my shirt and I yanked his pony tail. “Ryuunosuke, don’t forget to call your mother.” “Hai! I won’t! Bye Dad.”

Ryuu After jerking some clothes on and making sure Kenta was getting cleaned up I headed back into the living room. I felt nervous and jittery. It was the first time in almost four years that he’d visited me here at home. I’d seen him several times a year when I went to visit, but he rarely came to Japan any more. I knew why he was here. Mother had no doubt sent him to check up on me, especially considering what was going on in the news. I hoped that Nakamara had been able to get the gag order going. I probably should have called him when I got up this morning, but Kenta was kind of distracting. Why did real life have to hit right after such an amazing time with him? I wanted to just lay around and enjoy being with him until I had to get ready for the concert. But it seemed that I would have to wait for that. Maybe after the concert. There were a few things he and I needed to discuss anyway. Yoshiru was sitting at the dining room table reading . . . oh fuck. Now I was starting to sound like Kenta, but seeing him reading one of the tabloids gave me an unsettled feeling. He looked up at me and smiled. “Sorry about getting you out of bed son.” I shook my head, running a hand through my hair hoping it didn’t look too disheveled. “Don’t worry about it. Um . . . I didn’t realize you were in Japan.” “I just got in yesterday. We are buying out another company here in Kobe and your mother . . .” He sighed and folding the paper laid it on the table. He tapped the picture on the front. I glanced at it then away. It must be the latest issue. They had a more recent candid shot of me walking out of a club, Kenta behind me. It was cropped in such a way that you could barely tell that Sora was right next to me and Hasu was nearly hidden behind Kenta. It made it look like it was just Kenta and I, not the whole band like it had been. The headline was ridiculous and I knew I was going to be making a call to the editor of the paper personally. I looked back up as my father cleared his throat. “Ryuunosuke, this really is a bit much. Even for you.” I looked down again trying to think of something to say, but my mind was completely blank. All I could think of was Kenta in the other room. Kenta was going to be beyond furious when he saw the tabloid. The unsettled feeling deepened into full blown anxiety. “He’s here isn’t he.” My head snapped back up as panic flooded me. “N-no. No he-“ He shook his head a disturbing grin on his face. “You’ve always been a terrible liar. You are too open with your feelings and it’s entirely too easy to see the fresh hickies with that shirt.” My hand flew to my neck and he laughed at me, a soft sound that usually always put me at ease. After a moment he sighed and got up walking toward me. “Ryuunosuke, we do need to talk about this though. You know that I’ve always supported you in your decisions.” I nodded, afraid to say anything. “I understand that you think you like this . . . Arakaki?” He frowned slightly as he said it and I suddenly felt breathless, a weight settling over me. “I’m not sure this is smart. You should not be involved with an employee, son. It can create all kinds of problems.” “I . . . I . . . need him.” I felt like a complete idiot, was that really the best I could come up with? “Yes, I know you think you do. I don’t need to remind you what happened last time . . .” I had to look away unable to take the pain in his eyes. I’d been furious when Sora had told my parents what Naoki had done. I hadn’t pressed charges at the time and they had both been livid, threatening to move me to Europe with them. It was only after I’d promised to put a restraining order on Naoki that they had backed off. They had both readily agreed that my having a bodyguard was a good idea. Though it seemed now maybe they were regretting that. “No, I can see that I don’t. I’m sorry for bringing it up. But, you understand how worried I am.” I nodded slowly trying to find my voice. “Kenta . . . Kenta is nothing like him. He-he wouldn’t even touch me if I didn’t want him to. He’s been my bodyguard for two years now and I trust him more than I’ve ever trusted anyone.” “Well . . . that’s good.” His eyes seemed to soften as he looked at me. He stepped close and pulled me into a quick hug. “You’ve grown, in a lot of ways, son. I’m very proud of you. Now where is he?” I stood there shocked once he let me go. He was proud of me? Even with all the shit I’d pulled and this latest issue, though it wasn’t like I’d planned it, he was still proud of me? Numb I watched as he walked passed me toward the bedroom. Then it suddenly hit me. Kenta was probably in the tub and the room was a mess our clothes strewn everywhere and I’d not had a chance to tell Kenta to watch his language but it looked like none of that was going to matter. “Wa-wait! Dad!” I ran after him but he was already in the bedroom. He glanced around and headed straight for the bath room pushing the door open. “Fucking hell!” I cringed, covering my face with a hand. Kenta was standing in front the sink only a towel wrapped around his waist. He looked surprised and . . . pissed.

Kenta I barely had a chance to get my shoes off before Ryuu was dragging me through the apartment. I didn’t want to admit it but I was fucking nervous like I’d never been before in my life. Even when I’d been waiting to hear my sentence read at court I hadn’t been this nervous. I was shaking, bad enough that I didn’t like it, that weird slightly weak feeling. Before I realized it we were in the bedroom. He hadn’t bothered to turn the lights on and in the dim light from the windows I could make out him stripping. “I’m going to go take a quick shower. You are free to join me if you want.” The shaking was getting worse. Maybe . . . maybe doing just that would be for the best. I could get him off and maybe he would forget what I’d said. Yeah right, what the fuck was I thinking? Once Ryuu got an idea in his head you better just get out of his fucking way. Slowly getting undressed I followed him into the bathroom. Slipping into the shower behind him I noticed the bruise on his side. “Fuck! Ryuu, you got hurt when you fell!” “Oh, yeah it’s a little sore but nothing like when you broke your ribs I’m sure.” “I didn’t break them the guy with the baseball bat broke them.” I shivered as the water hit me. He liked his showers too fucking hot. “You sure you’re alright?” “Yes I’m just fine.” He turned to face me and not for the first time did I wish I was just a little bit taller. At least tall enough that I didn’t have to look up to meet his eyes. “Kenta . . . if you aren’t ready we don’t have to.” I blinked a couple of times and looked down. Shit, wrong thing to do because now I was looking at his cock which wasn’t what I needed to be looking at right now. I swallowed trying to think of what to say and looked back up at him. “I know you want too Ryuu but . . .” “You are scared of hurting me?” Nodding, I almost stepped back as he slowly ran the sponge over my chest leaving a trail of soap bubbles. “That’s an easy fix. I’ll be on top.” “Wha-“ He kissed me. “Don’t say anything. Just trust me, okay.” Seeing the look in his eyes I nodded. I did trust him. More than I’d ever trusted anyone since Ayame. He smiled at me, the soft grey eyes seeming to sparkle. Without saying anything else he slowly started to run the sponge over every inch of me. It was more relaxing than a turn on, but I enjoyed every second of it. I was more than happy to return the favor but he made me get out of the shower. “Dry off and get in bed. I’ll be there in a bit.” I was a little chilled as I slid under the covers, though the pricking sensation had nothing to do with the temperature. My heart seemed to skip slightly as I heard the shower shut off. It was several minutes later when the door to the bathroom opened again and I felt him get into bed. He slid up next to me, his skin still hot from the shower. “Oh, you are nice and cool.” He kissed my shoulder and I could feel him smile. “You smell good too.” I laid there not sure what to do or say and I heard him chuckle. Then he was straddling me, his chest against mine our lips touching. He kissed me lightly before pulling back and I felt his weight shift as he leaned over. The drawer of the night stand rattled open and I heard the unmistakable sound of him opening a condom. “Ryuu . . . “ “Shh . . . you trust me right.” “Yes.” It was barely a whisper, for some reason breathing was kind of difficult. Probably because he was still half laying on me. Yeah that was it. He kissed me again and slid down taking the covers with him. I kind of wanted them back. I bit my lip feeling his fingers wrap around me. He slowly stroked me until I was hard again, which didn’t take long at all. I was a little confused as I felt him slide the condom on me. Hadn’t he said he would be on top? I knew what that meant and it wasn’t this. I didn’t have time to ask as he crawled back up, his knees on either side of my hips. His mouth found mine and thinking became next to impossible as he kissed me, his tongue slipping in deep. I couldn’t help but respond, the taste of him turning me on even more. I’d felt him moving slightly as he kissed me and there was a sudden pressure against the tip of my cock but I didn’t think anything of it since I could feel his fingers too. That was until something very, very tight and hot slid around the head. Ryuu moaned and broke the kiss, his whole body trembling. He grabbed my arms forcing me back down as I went to move. “Just hold still . . . please.” He was a bit breathless. “Ryuu . . . are you sure? Is this okay?” “Shh . . . yes . . . yes this is much more than okay.” He shifted back and we both gasped, my head going back against the pillow as his fingers tightened on my arms. My entire length was inside him. Inside Ryuu. Oh fuck, this was really happening. It was so tight, the heat from his body almost more than I could take. He shifted slightly and it was like I could feel every little muscle move. I was shocked to realize I could feel his heart racing to match my own. “Oh fuck.” I opened my eyes at his soft laugh and looked up at him. He was smiling at me as he slowly started to rock his hips back and forth. I couldn’t stop the moan as the heat seemed to sear through me. He was so fucking tight it almost hurt as he moved and I grabbed his hips stopping him. “Ryuu . . . it’s not . . . you aren’t hurting are you.” He leaned down slightly to kiss me, the movement sending another rush of heat through me. “No, but you are a bit of a stretch.” “Don’t fucking tease!” He giggled and I sucked in a startled breath as muscles clench down even tighter. He slid forward enough that I thought he was going to get off of me, but just when I would have slipped out he was coming back down. Holy fucking shit that felt amazing. If I’d thought his mouth drove me crazy, I was going fucking insane now. I’d never in my life imagined I would find someone who made me feel so wanted, like I mattered more to him than anything else. It was overwhelming to know that he wanted to be with me like this. Just that he wanted me was more than I’d believed possible. Ryuu Gasping softly I kept my movements slow and shallow. It had been a long time since I’d bottomed, even from the top and the burn was making me a bit light headed. In a good way. Hearing the small sounds Kenta was making as I moved made it entirely worth it. His fingers tightened on my hips and suddenly he was meeting me as I came down. I’d been worried that the memories would interfere, but being on top helped. “Oh god.” That was perfect. The angle, the way he filled me so completely, the feel of his fingers, just it being him, all of it amazed me and made me feel like nothing in my life ever had. Not even being on stage gave me this kind of feeling. I was making love to Kenta and that was what it truly felt like, even if it sounded cliché. To be truly connected to him in every way possible made my chest ache with something I’d never felt before. It was like all those stupid love songs finally made sense and I almost had to laugh at myself. He was thrusting deeper each time, the sensation becoming so intense I knew I wasn’t going to last even without touching my erection. He seemed to have read my mind. The next thing I knew his hand was wrapped around me, slow smooth strokes making me whine. For someone who claimed to have never been with a man, he certainly knew what to do. I heard him make a low sound that was between a moan and a whine and suddenly his thrusts became a bit erratic. I was so close to going off myself and I didn’t want it to end this soon. I didn’t want this wonderful euphoria to ever stop. “Oh shit! Ryuu!” I shuddered, the feel of him coming sending a shock through me. Each pulse sent another dizzying spiral of heat through me until I was writhing. I came so hard it actually took my breath away, lights dancing before me. “Kenta . . .” It took me a while to get my breath back and I realized I’d slumped forward, laying on him. His one hand was trapped between us. His other one lightly stroked my back. His breath warm on my skin as he spoke. “You okay?” “Much much better than that.” I turned my head so I could kiss him. He kissed me back, the passion in it like nothing before. I sighed into the kiss, feeling at once light and full of happiness and also so very sensitive, even the slightest movements making me want to gasp. He gently slipped his hand out from between us and taking hold of my hips shifted me forward. I bit my lip a small whimper escaping as he slid free. I shuddered at the sudden empty feeling. Then he was lifting me and laying me next to him. He kissed me softly but with such affection it brought tears to my eyes. “Thank you Kenta.” A low chuckle was his only response. He got out of the bed for a moment, probably to get rid of the condom. I was still tingling from the after affects when he came back and then he was kissing me again, pulling me closer. He wrapped his arms around me and I idly wondered if we should go take a shower first, but it felt too nice where I was. I’d just change the sheets in the morning. I was going to bask in this feeling as long as I could. I fell asleep completely wrapped up in the man I loved.

Holy fucking hell, he had to be kidding. I stood in the aisle at the market staring at the list in my hand. Ryuu hadn’t been joking about sending me shopping last night. My basket was nearly full and I’d gotten to the bottom of the list only to find this. Condoms. He wanted me to buy condoms. And not just the regular latex, no he wanted the expensive ultra thin sheepskin ones. Was he teasing me? Trying not to sigh too loudly I got the ones he wanted and headed to go check out. The clerk didn’t even bat an eye as she rang up my items even though I was sure my face was red. Next time Ryuu could buy his own goddamn condoms. Letting myself into the apartment I could hear music playing. They must be practicing and left the studio door open again. That meant everyone was probably over including Reiko. Going to the kitchen I started putting everything away. Sneaking back to the bedroom I hid the condoms in the drawer of the nightstand. I’d give them to Ryuu later. Going back out to the kitchen I decided to order dinner. I knew Hasu was going to be hungry. I was half asleep on the couch with the TV on when I heard them finally stop for the night. I was too tired to get up. The food would all have to be reheated, but I’d let them get their own. I blinked a few times feeling someone standing over me. I looked up to see Sora looking down at me. He shifted his weight glancing back over his shoulder. “Listen . . . I wanted to apologize for the other day.” “You already did.” “I know but . . . I don’t usually lose my temper like that and I’m really sorry.” “No, I deserved it Sora. Someone needed to knock some fucking sense into me.” I cringed after I said it and glanced around to make sure Ryuu wasn’t close enough to hear me. “Well, I won’t argue with that.” Sora grinned at me. “Thanks for getting dinner for us.” “No problem.” As soon as the door shut behind Sora and Hasu, Ryuu tackled me. “What the fuck! Ryuu!” He was giggling. “Did you get it?” “Yes.” “Where are they?” “Bedroom.” Where else would you need condoms? He jumped up and practically bounced down the hallway. What the fuck was up with him? I laid back down on the couch closing my eyes. I could hear him rummaging around, drawers opening and shutting. “Where are they Kenta?” “Why? Not like you need them.” “Where are they!” “Nightstand.” He came back with the box and a grin that rose the hairs on the back of my neck. He dropped the box in my lap. “Here. They are for you.” I stared up at him. “What?” “They are for you.” I think my brain kind of shut down at that point cause he sure as hell was not making any sense. “Ryuu, you can’t be serious.” He sat on the edge of the couch next to me, looking down at me. “I am serious.” I blinked as he reached down and ran his fingers through my hair. His eyes looked more blue than grey for some reason and seemed to stare right through me. “I want to be with you Kenta.” “B-but Ryuu . . . I’m hurt and-“ He laid a finger across my lips. “I didn’t say it had to be tonight, Kenta. I know that’s asking too much right now. Besides . . . have you ever been with a guy before?” I blinked a couple of times, honestly caught off guard by the question. “Um . . . no.” “I didn’t think so.” He grinned at me and leaned down to kiss me. Those amazing lips making me lose any grip I’d had on reality. Just when I thought I wasn’t going to be able to control myself any longer, broken ribs or not, he pulled away. “Can I ask you a question.” “Um . . . yeah.” My lips were tingling like crazy and I really didn’t want to be talking. There were much better things to do with those perfect lips of his. “Do you want me?” I finally tore my eyes from his lips and looked at him. There was a sadness deep in his eyes that I hadn’t noticed before. “What the fuck kind of question is that?” He flinched and I realized he’d taken it badly. I grabbed his arm before he could get up. “Why would you ask me that?” Ryuu I couldn’t meet his eyes. The feel of his fingers on my arm was both comforting and disturbing. I knew I was pushing things, pushing myself. I just wasn’t sure. I was never sure when it came to Kenta, except how I felt about him. I finally shrugged, not even sure what to say. I let out a small yelp as he suddenly pulled me down kissing me hard. A soft whine slipped free as he slid one hand into my hair the other coming to rest on my hip. The kiss was taking my breath away. All the urgency and need sending my pulse racing. I heard the box of condoms hit the floor as he shifted us and smiled to myself. I’d gambled big time putting those on the list and was shocked he’d bought them. I gasped as his lips found my neck making me writhe, tingling sensations shooting down my spine. “Oh god . . . Kenta.” I was trying not to move too much, afraid of hurting him, but the way his lips and tongue were attacking my neck it was hard to stay still. “You asked . . .” His lips were so warm and soft against my skin and I felt like I was melting, my body dissolving. “I’ve never been with a guy, but that doesn’t mean I don’t know what to do to make you feel good Ryuu.” That statement didn’t make a whole lot of sense to me, but thinking was becoming increasingly difficult. His hands were now under my shirt and I realized with a start that he was undressing me. The shirt was tossed off to the side and he grinned at me. “I’d have though you could tell how much I wanted you.” I blinked at him for a moment before I realized that the hardness pressed into my stomach was his erection. I couldn’t hold back the grin and got an answering one. He was already this hard after just a few minutes of kissing. It made me shiver in anticipation. “Want to move this to the bedroom?” I put every ounce of seductiveness I could manage into my voice and watched as those dark eyes got impossibly darker. I wiggled my hips and got a gasp. Now that was nice. “You got to get off me first, Ryuu.” I laughed and pushed myself up, helping him up as well. Getting into the bedroom proved to be a rather drawn out process as we took our time getting each other undressed, I was giddy with excitement as we finally ended up on the bed. “Fuck! Why are you so hot?” I shivered as Kenta’s hands slid across my skin. They were slightly calloused and the sensation was amazing. I couldn’t get enough of it. “You are making me very hot.” I gasped as his hand dipped between my legs, his fingers wrapping around me. His slow even strokes were nearly infuriating. I wanted so much more. “Kenta! Please . . . “ His soft laugh was all I got. I opened my eyes to see him leaning over me the dark eyes sparkling mischievously. “You really are a handful.” I groaned, “Don’t tease me. Just go faster.” There was another deep chuckle and suddenly there was a very hot mouth surrounding me. I moaned. It was better than any fantasy by about a hundred times over. He hadn’t been kidding when he said he knew how to make me feel good. Kenta-my beautiful Kenta was doing this, giving me this kind of pleasure. That thought alone was enough to send me crashing into oblivion.

Ryuu I would never get tired to looking at Kenta. Especially when he was sleeping. All the hardness was gone replaced by a soft gentle expression I’d never seen when he was awake. Would probably never see, honestly. The man really had no idea how good looking he was. His soft full lips were just barely parted and I was dying to lean in and kiss them, but he needed to sleep. He’d waited too long to take his next dose of pain medication earlier and had barely been able to move without whimpering. It scared me. Even now just thinking about made me nauseous. If he wasn’t doing better by morning I was taking him to a clinic. He’d whined about having to go last time, but I’d rather listen to him whine than make those pained sounds he’d tried so hard not to let me hear. It had taken me forever to convince him to lie in the bed instead of on the couch. Laying there watching him sleep I couldn’t help but think about the last time someone had slept in that spot. Reaching out I rested my fingers in the soft dark hair. Kenta was so completely different than Naoki. Granted Naoki had changed a lot in the time I’d been with him. He’d gone from fun and affectionate to controlling and abusive. The change had been so gradual it had left me doubting myself. Only Reiko and Sora’s intervention had saved me from being hurt any worse than I already had been. Curling up, I turned my face into the pillow. I didn’t want to think about what had happened in this very room, on this bed. I inched as close to Kenta as I dared. Just being able to feel his warmth was enough to comfort me. I knew I could trust Kenta. I’d known that ever since I’d met him. Naoki would never have helped Reiko. People weaker than him were to be used. Nothing else. He’d eventually made it very clear that he considered me weak and inferior. Kenta never made me feel that way at all, but part of me was still scared that he would change too. Would sex change everything like it had with Naoki? Even as much as I loved and wanted to be with Kenta, deep down I knew I wasn’t ready. Even after almost two years I wasn’t ready. Though I really wasn’t sure things were going to go that far anytime soon anyway. I knew Kenta wasn’t going to push anything on me. The exact opposite. Unconsciously, I licked my lips thinking of the way he’d tasted when I’d caught him in the shower. He’d come so fast I’d barely got to enjoy giving him pleasure. I desperately wanted to please him in every way possible. *** “What is this?” “Breakfast in bed.” Deep black eyes regarded me as if I were insane. “Why?” “Because I wanted to do something for you. I wanted to say thank you for helping me the other night when I was so sick.” His eyes immediately dropped his expression hardening and I wondered what I’d said. “Kenta-“ “I fucked up Ryuu.” “No you didn’t! You found me and took me to a clinic-“ “Wouldn’t of had to if I’d done my job in the first place.” I sighed and taking a finger nudged the bowl of miso toward him. “Shut up and eat. I’m tired of you whining about stupid stuff you can’t change.” That got me a surprised look. It wasn’t that often that I got on to him, but I really was tired of it, tired of him only thinking of this, of me, as his job. I just didn’t know how to get him to see me differently. I knew he was attracted to me, that was obvious, but he was too worried about everything else. Maybe I should just lock him in my bedroom for a while. That thought brought a smile to my face and I saw him narrow his eyes at me as he blew on the soup. “What? You’re always planning something crazy when you smile like that.” “Mm, nothing. Just thinking about pretty princes locked in towers.” He grunted, “Whatever. Weirdo.” “Finish your soup, then get ready because we are leaving.” “Eh? Why?” “You are going back to the clinic.” “No.” “Yes you are.” “No I’m fucking not.” I poked him in the side making him jump and start cussing, almost spilling the tray. “See, you are hurt. We are going to the clinic.” “F-fuck . . .” It took him a minute to get his breath back and I felt bad, kind of. “Don’t . . . don’t do that Ryuu.” “I won’t. Unless you say you aren’t going to the clinic again.” “Why are you being so mean to me?” “You are whining.” “I am not.” “Eat your soup.” “Fine.” Getting up off the bed, I couldn’t help but smile at him. His eye was turning purple, but the swelling had gone down overnight. The other bruises were dark and only going to get darker over the next few days. It was his ribs that were worrying me. He hadn’t acted this bad last time he’d hurt them and I was worried he’d hurt himself worse this time. It was just getting the stubborn ass to admit that he was hurt in the first place. Going to the closet I pulled out a pair of pants and a button up shirt. I knew from last time that raising his arms over his head would hurt. Besides, the buttons gave me an excuse to touch him as long as possible. “Ryuu . . . I’ll just go home.” I turned to look at him. “Kenta. You are my bodyguard. If you are injured and unable to perform your job I’ll have to have someone else do it. Besides that, Hayate already called and said he won’t be needing you at the bar for a while. That and if you don’t go willingly Jiro said he’d come get you.” Silence. “Bastard.”

Ryuu I’d almost turned my head to look at them, but Kenta’s statement shocked me. Was that why? Was that the real reason he’d turned me down, because he was worried how it would make me look in the media if our relationship was discovered? Didn’t he realize the media already painted me as nothing more than a silly playboy frittering his parent’s wealth away. No one was really shocked by anything I did. He’d never mentioned to me anything about a criminal record and it didn’t really surprise me. That was when it hit me. That was the most I’d ever heard Kenta talk without a single cuss word coming out of his mouth. Actually, that was probably the most I’d ever heard him talk all at once ever. “Are you really that stupid? Maybe Isao is right about you.” I heard Sora sigh. “He’s happiest when you are around Kenta. Even if he knew about all of that, I’m sure he wouldn’t care. He’s not that shallow Kenta.” “I know he’s not. He’s also a whole fucking lot smarter than people give him credit for.” I almost smiled at that. I was going to have to get up. I was beginning to need the bathroom rather urgently. That and for the first time in three days I was starving. I shifted around trying to get the covers off and heard both of them exclaim. “Ryuu!” “You’re awake?” There was a note of panic in Kenta’s voice and I knew he probably wouldn’t have divulged that much if he’d known I was awake. I was glad I had been. It made so much more sense now, why he’d been trying to keep me at bay. It wasn’t that he wasn’t interested; he just didn’t want me hurt. It made me want to pull him close and kiss him till he shoved me away. I grinned at them and sat up, glad when Sora reached down to help me. “Yeah. “ I turned to look at Kenta and gasped. “Kenta! What happened! Your face!” He shifted back out of my reach and I could tell the movement hurt him. I looked to Sora, but he wouldn’t meet my eyes. I glared at each of them. “Someone is going to tell me what happened.” Sora glanced down at Kenta who shook his head. “That would be my fault Ryuu.” Kenta jerked his head up to glare at Sora, but Sora ignored him. I had a sinking feeling in my stomach as I watched them. The two of them had got into a fight? Sora looked fine . . . Kenta looked horrible and I knew he was an excellent fighter. That meant . . . “Your fault how, Sora?” I was afraid of the answer. The look on Sora’s face was the only answer I needed. “Fuck you Sora! Why the hell-forget it I don’t care what reason you thought you had.” Flinging back the covers, I started to get up only to have both of them stop me. “Let go! You want me to piss all over myself?” Sora was the one who helped me up. I shook him off. I wasn’t as dizzy today. The fever was gone and I felt better than I had in weeks. Physically and emotionally. It hurt that Sora and Kenta had fought and that Kenta had been the one to get hurt, but I now knew things I wished I’d known two weeks ago. “Sora will you get me a change of clothes, please. I’m going to take a bath.” Sora nodded and headed for my closet. I laid my hand on Kenta’s shoulder. “I want you to join me. No, hush. It will help.” I lightly touched the side of his face. He was going to have a black eye. “The tub is plenty big enough for the both of us, and besides it’s not like I haven’t seen you naked before.” I thought he was going to come unglued then, his face turning bright red as he sputtered. I just laughed and walked into the bathroom to get the tub started. I really wanted the chance to talk to him, really talk about why he was so scared of this . . . of us. I was already in the tub and was beginning to wonder if he’d blown me off when the door slowly opened. He looked so hesitant and shy. It was almost comical. I’d never seen that look on his face and decided I would love to see it more often. He came and stood beside the tub, not looking at me. Reaching out I brushed my fingers across his. “What are you waiting for? Get in.” He nodded slowly and started getting undressed. I laid my head on the side of the tub watching him. The way the smooth lean muscles flexed as he moved never ceased to amaze me. He was so beautifully built. I sighed as the shirt finally came off, then blinked. Too many bruises. It made my heart hurt to see them. I wondered if his ribs were bothering him again the way he was moving so slowly. It was almost torture watching him. I was already rock hard and he hadn’t even taken his pants off yet. Even bruised and beaten to hell I couldn’t help but want to touch him. Knowing now why he’d said no actually made me want him even more. I wanted to claim this amazing man as mine. Even if I couldn’t do it publically, I wanted to know I could come home and know he was there. Finally! The pants were coming off. Well shit, did he have bruises literally every where? I couldn’t play around like I wanted to with him in such obvious pain. He tried to act like there was nothing wrong, but I could tell he was really hurting from the tightening around his eyes and the way his lips firmed as he eased himself into the tub. I was going to have to have a talk with Sora. It had been a long time since Sora had lost his temper bad enough to hit someone. I wasn’t going to think about the last time. Sora did not hit without good reason and he must have thought he had a good reason to hit Kenta. It still upset me though. Slowly, I moved over to Kenta. He had his head back on the side of the tub, his eyes closed. I glanced up as Sora walked in; he had a bundle of clothes in one hand and an ice pack in the other. He handed me the ice pack and set the clothes on the counter. I shifted closer to Kenta, the water lapping around our chests. I was so happy my parents had bought the huge tub. Lightly touching Kenta’s arm to get his attention I carefully laid the icepack on his eye. I heard him sigh. “Thanks Ryuu.” “Does it still hurt?” “Fuck yeah.” “I want you to stay here tonight.” There was a short silence. “Okay.”

Kenta “Get up. “ The deep rumble startled me awake but it was the fist in my hair that had me on my feet. Oh fuck! Fuck! When had Jiro got here? I had a quick glance at Ryuu asleep on the bed before I was hauled out of the room. I stumbled trying to keep my feet, my hair getting yanked in the process. “Fuck! Let go Jiro!” He didn’t say anything and didn’t let go either. Shit. My stomach suddenly felt like it was trying to crawl out my throat. A pissed off Jiro was the last thing I needed right now. There was a sharp stabbing pain in my side to match the searing pain in my head. He threw me down in the living room and I narrowly missed bashing my head into the coffee table. Scrambling around I got to my feet only to have him backhand me hard enough to send me right back to the floor. I stayed there. There was no rage in his eyes, just a dead calm. I was in some seriously deep shit if that was the case. I looked over realizing Hayate was standing by the front door. He had a busted lip and was trying to stop his nose from bleeding. He glanced at me then looked away. My attention snapped back to Jiro as he spoke. “I am very disappointed in the two of you. Nakamara wants you fired Kenta. Fired and demoted.” I flinched. It was the least I deserved. “I should. I should demote you back down to the most junior rank and let you work your way back up. I really thought better of you Kenta. I didn’t think you would shirk your responsibilities like this. What would have happened if someone had recognized Ryuu? He could have been kidnapped . . . or killed. His parents pay us the protection money for a reason. He’s not just some ditzy singer; he’s the son of Ito Yoshiru and Kaori. The Ito name alone is worth billions of yen. He’s a target for extortionists and paparazzi. What happened last night would have made national news if he’d been recognized. You just better thank whatever god happened to be watching out for him last night that didn’t happen.” I shrank down as he came to stand over me. I knew all this, why was he telling me again? I knew who Ryuu was. Though it was easy to forget when I was with him all the time. “Jiro I-“ “Did I give you permission to speak?” I yelped as the fist slammed into the side of my head knocking me flat. Shit but he hit hard. My ears were ringing. I couldn’t remember Jiro ever being this mad at me. He’d never hit me before. I knew it happened occasionally when the other guys fucked up, but I’d never planned on being one of them. It was getting harder to breathe, the pain radiating around from my side. I’d probably fucked up my ribs again carrying Ryuu last night. Getting hit didn’t help either. “Hayate go get the car, we are leaving. I’ve already got Teito headed over to keep an eye on Ryuu.” The pain was forgotten as I looked up at Jiro. I struggled to get up, using the coffee table as support. “No, I’ll stay. He . . . he needs me.” “He needed you yesterday. No, it’s too late Kenta. You lost your chance. Get up, we are leaving.” He didn’t give me a choice, roughly hauling me to my feet. I swayed for a second, dizzy. The side of my face was numb and throbbing, my ribs aching, but it was the sick hollow feeling eating away at me that was causing the most pain. Jiro was right. I’d lost my chance. Ryuu had been the best thing to ever happen to me and I’d treated him like shit. I’d lied to myself, to him, thinking that it would be best for both of us. Why was I so fucking stupid? Then it hit me. I was scared. Fucking scared shitless. Why would someone like Ryuu want anything to do with someone like me? But even more than that, I was scared of what would happen if it was found out. The media would rip him to shreds for dating an ex con yakuza member, never mind another guy. I couldn’t let that happen. He meant too much to me. “No. I am staying here.” “I don’t want you here.” I turned to see Sora standing in the hall. “I want you to leave. You’ve done enough damage.” I shook my head, wincing. “No, I am staying. I’ll find a way to-“ “I said no.” It only took Sora two long strides to reach me and the next thing I knew I was on the floor by the couch. Holy fuck! I did not need this right now. “Wait! Sora stop!” Hayate was trying to stop him as I used the couch to try and get back up. Maybe I should just stay on the floor. “You don’t understand.” Hayate almost landed on me as Sora shoved him out of the way. “I understand perfectly fine. He’s happy to use Ryuu to get what he wants, just like all those posers and fakes who only want to be his friend because of who he is. I told you if you hurt him, I’d make you regret it.” I was too slow to get out of the way as Sora reached down and yanked me up. He didn’t understand. I already regretted it. “No that’s not-fuck!” I tried to block him but I was in too much pain. He hit as hard as or harder than Jiro and he wasn’t stopping. Hayate finally managed to pry him off me. I ended up half laying on the couch. The only thing I could think was that Ryuu was going to be upset that I was getting blood on the pretty white fabric. I didn’t blame Sora for being mad at me. I was mad at myself, but there wasn’t anything I could do about it now. With a shaking hand I wiped the blood off my chin. I went to push myself up and felt something in my chest give. My vision went dark for a moment as agony ripped through me. I wasn’t sure if I could get up. “Fuck! Kenta are you alright? Sora! You didn’t have to go that far!” Hayate was yelling. “He’s the one that went too far! Making Ryuu think he was interested in him. Leading him on-“ “Enough.” Jiro voice cut through the yelling and I felt a firm hand on my upper arm. It took all myself control not to sob with pain as he pulled me up. “I think your point has been made Sora. You won’t have to worry about Kenta. He won’t be back.” “No, Jiro, no you can’t have someone else watch him.” I tried to shake off Jiro’s hand. I was almost sick with pain, but I couldn’t let them. No one knew Ryuu like I did. Could handle his tantrums, could calm him down when he’d get upset. “Teito doesn’t understand him.” “Oh and you do?” I looked over at Sora and realized my right eye must be swelling shut. I couldn’t really see him. “Yes. I do. I know I fucked up, but just give me another chance.” I tilted my head so I could look up at Jiro. “Please. Please let me stay.” *** Sora glared at me every time he walked into the room. Ryuu had been sleeping for the last couple of hours and it was nearing nine in the evening. Sora was still upset with me. He’d barely let me help when Ryuu had woke earlier to eat and use the bathroom. Not that I was a whole lot of help. I’d wrapped my ribs back up and taken some pain meds, but the dull ache was still there. “Why did you even bother staying?” I didn’t lift my head from where it was resting on my arm. What was I supposed to fucking say? Keeping my eyes on the sleeping man only a few inches from me I knew why I’d stayed. I’d sit here all night watching him again if I had to. “Sora . . . haven’t you considered what would happen if-if the media found out. About me, I mean. If we . . . were together I know it would always have to be a secret. Not just because we are both guys, but . . . I have a criminal record and not just something silly like shoplifting. I went to juvie for assault and battery when I was fourteen. I’m yakuza now. How would that look to the media. I want him to be happy, Sora and I just don’t think he would really be happy with me.”

Kenta “You are in a weirdly good mood tonight.” Hayate raised an eyebrow at me as he took the tub full of dirty dishes out of my hands. “So.” “So, what’s going on?” I realized I was grinning and shook my head. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” His eyebrows almost disappeared under his hair. “Really? That good huh? Must have had a good day off then.” I shrugged and untied my apron. “Yeah. I guess so. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Heading out to the alley I leaned against my bike were it was parked next to the building. Taking out my phone I looked at it. Three text messages. All from Ryuu. Why did I have the feeling that I’d started something that might be more than I could handle? I had to smile seeing them, a soft warmth filling me. Hope you are having a good night at work! I’m at Sora’s so I might still be up when you get off work. Don’t forget to call me! Hitting the speed dial I waited. On the third ring I heard someone pick up. “Hey, it’s me. Just letting you know I’m off work and headed home.” “Oh hey Kenta, its Sora. Ryuu fell asleep about thirty minutes ago.” I was surprised at how disappointed I was. Had I really wanted to talk to him that badly? “Oh, um . . . well let him know I called, will ya.” “Sure thing, and Kenta . . . thanks.” “Huh? Fer what?” “I haven’t seen Ryuu this happy in years.” “Oh. That. Yeah.” “Just . . . don’t hurt him Kenta. I will personally kill you if you do.” From the tone in Sora’s voice I knew the big guy was dead serious. Hurting Ryuu was the furthest thing from my mind. “I’m not that stupid.” A soft chuckle vibrated in my ear. “Be careful going home. I’ll tell him you called.” “Thanks.” I shoved the phone in my pocket and zipped up my jacket. Late summer was giving way to fall pretty quickly and the nights could be chilly. Especially driving a motorcycle. Slipping my helmet on I sighed thinking about what Sora had said. It was my job to protect Ryuu. It was something I’d taken very seriously from the first night I’d started as his personal bodyguard. I’d seen how crazy things could get at a concert. It was no wonder poor Hiro had almost quit after their first tour after Hasu had joined. I couldn’t imagine trying to watch all four of them at once. Heading home I took the route that drove along the sea. It was a beautiful night. It was just a bit on the cool side with no traffic other than delivery trucks and a few idiots racing. I pulled into my neighborhood, it was quiet and someone had busted out the street lights again leaving the run down buildings in darkness. I was going to have to find the fucker who was doing it. They’d regret it once I got hold of them. Parking my bike under the stairs of the apartment building I headed up to the room they actually fucking called an apartment. Ryuu’s closet was bigger. No joke. It didn’t even have a window; they’d taken it out to put in a door. Fucking slum lords. At least the bathroom was free at this hour. Standing under the barely warm water in the tiny bathroom it finally started to sink in. I was fucked. Once Nakamara found out I’d messed around with Ryuu he’d fire me. Leaning forward I rested my head on the tile. What the fuck was I going to do? It wasn’t like I could stop being around Ryuu. It was my fucking job to be around him. But I couldn’t just pretend it hadn’t happened either. Honestly, I would find any excuse I could to be around him. Even if this morning hadn’t happened, I would do anything to be there, to protect him, just watching him if I had to. “Fuck.” I slammed my fist into the wall and after a moment shut the water off. It was cold anyway and was reminding me too much of the shower earlier. God I missed the crazy weirdo. I got dressed quickly, shivering. I had to keep my mind off Ryuu or I wasn’t going to get any sleep and I had to be up again in five hours. You’d think working two jobs I’d be able to make ends meet. Guess it didn’t help that I tended to give my money away to the homeless kids I was always finding in the area. I’d managed to help a few get decent jobs and a couple of them were now working for Jiro. Not that I wanted this kind of life for them. Collapsing on my futon I covered my head with the pillow ordering myself to go to sleep. The sooner I fell asleep the sooner I got to see Ryuu. *** The phone woke me. It was Hayate. “We’ve got a problem.” He sounded like he was barely awake and I could hear his partner, Isao, griping in the background. “What’s going on?” “Fight at the bar.” “Fuck. What time is it?” “Four.” “Fucking hell. I’m gonna kill somebody.” Ryuu I stayed at Sora’s for breakfast, which was fun. He’d told me that Kenta had called around three to say he was going home. I nodded and finished eating the tamago Hasu had made. I didn’t usually like the egg concoction, but something about the way Hasu made it was better than anyone else’s. “He’s supposed to go with me today. I think.” I leaned my head over on my hand, thinking. Was that today? “Yeah, you and I have that radio show today.” “Oh! That’s right! I knew there was something going on today.” I grinned at Sora. “Thanks for letting me crash here last night.” “It’s fine. You haven’t stayed over in a while.” “Well someone needs to chaperon you around Hasu.” Sora reached across the table and smacked me on the forehead making me drop my bite of tamago. “Ouch! What the hell was that for?” “Don’t be a jerk.” I looked at him and realized my comment had been rather insensitive. He would never do anything to hurt Hasu, ever. “Sorry.” “Just cause you are getting some doesn’t mean you need to rub it in my face.” “I said I was sorry, besides . . .” I looked down at my plate shifting around in my chair. “Haven’t quite got that far yet.” “Then you really don’t have room to talk. Oh, thanks Hasu. You get enough to eat?” Sora looked up as Hasu came in with the last tray of food. Hasu nodded. “Yeah, for now.” “We need to get going Ryuu. Hasu we can drop you off at home on our way if you want.” “Actually . . . I’d like to go to Akira’s. I texted him earlier about it and he said it was fine.” “Yeah sure, that works.” After breakfast we headed across town to where Akira lived with his brothers. I spotted a familiar motorcycle as we pulled up. “Ah! Kenta is here!” I was surprised. He should have been at home asleep. Why was he at Jiro’s? I jumped out of the limo ignoring Sora telling me we didn’t have time. There was always time. Hasu was right behind me and I could hear Sora cussing me as he followed us. Grinning I opened the door to the apartment. It was full, granted there were only four people, but four people in their tiny apartment meant it was full. Kenta was perched on the arm of the couch while Hayate and Isao were sitting at the kitchen table. Jiro was standing by the window talking to them. “Hi guys!” I flicked my shoes off and went to tackle Kenta since his back was to me. It was my favorite thing to do ever since I’d met him. “Ryuu! Don’t!” Jiro’s exclamation was too late. I suddenly found myself on the floor in front of the couch, the breath knocked out of me. “Goddamn fucking hell you crazy son of a bitch!” Kenta yelled. “Calm down Kenta!” Jiro snapped as I tried to breathe. I was afraid to move, one leg still up on the cushion as I stared up at one very pissed off Kenta. What had I done? “What the fuck, Kenta!” Sora yelled as he shoved past him, reaching down to help me up. I’d finally caught my breath, but my chest was aching so fiercely it didn’t matter. Only Sora’s grip on my arm kept me from collapsing into a heap on the floor I was shaking so badly. I turned slightly into Sora trying to get a handle on the rush of emotions, feeling sick. For a moment there I had been terrified that Kenta was going to hit me. He’d never reacted like that before. Ever. “Why the fucking hell does he always pull shit like that!” Kenta’s voice tore through me. I covered my mouth with my hand, trying desperately to keep the sob in. It wasn’t going to work. Ripping away from Sora, I bolted out of the apartment, tripping down the stairs my eyes blurred with tears. What had I done? Why was he so mad at me? Stumbling out of the building I made it to the limo. Curling up in the backseat I let the sobs overtake me.

Kenta I am such a fucking idiot. Letting my emotions get the better of me like that. But the way he was looking at me now, with blond hair stuck to his face, his eyes looking too large for his face, the full lips parted just slightly shut my brain down. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I couldn’t. I couldn’t just walk away. He was already crying, the tears bright in his eyes. The way he’d responded when I’d kissed him had caught me completely off guard. I hadn’t expected to get that turned on by it. It was freaking me out. I wasn’t supposed to get that worked up kissing another guy. But he wasn’t just any guy. He was Ryuu. Sweet, sensitive, affectionate Ryuu. The guy who made me laugh. The one person who seemed to understand that I wasn’t just some pissed off thug. The only person who dared to be physical with me in a way that wasn’t violent. I couldn’t brush that off. I also couldn’t deny that he was looking too damn hot staring at me like that. Sighing I reached up and moved a strand of hair back from his cheek. He was looking away from me, sniffling. “Fucking hell. I’m going to get fired.” I grabbed him, crushing those sweet lips, wanting to taste him again. After a bit I stepped back smiling at him. It would be too easy to blow off the interview today and explore where this was going, but I wasn’t going to let that happen. There was plenty of time for that later. Though he didn’t seem to want to stop. “Oi, you need to get ready and the water is getting cold.” “Now you are making excuses.” That wicked grin would have scared the shit out of most people who knew him. “I know for a fact that there is at least fifteen more minutes of hot water.” “Oh really?” He nodded and leaned in close. “Plenty of time.” The next thing I knew he was gone. I blinked looking down to see him on his knees in front of me. He looked up at me and I felt my eyes widen. Oh fuck. He wasn’t serious. Holy shit, he was. I gasped, jerking as he grabbed my cock. Sure I'd been hard for a while now, but this was not what I'd been expecting. His grin got impossibly larger. “Ry-Ryuu wh-what are you-“ Then talking was impossible because that gorgeous, talented mouth had just slid around the head. “F-fuck!” I felt, more than heard him chuckle and swore I was going to crawl out of my skin. I sagged back against the tile as heat flooded me. With one hand he was massaging my balls while the other slid around my waist holding me close. I managed to open my eyes and look down at him. He was watching me as he slid his mouth back and forth, his tongue stroking me even as he sucked. Those kinds of sensations should not be fucking possible. My legs were turning to jelly. My brain was already mush. Only one thought made it through the pleasure. Why? It didn’t matter for the moment. Not a fucking thing mattered except the way that hot mouth was making me go fucking insane. I tried to move back, to get him off me before I came, but he wouldn’t move and I couldn’t really stop him. “Holy fucking shit!” If I hadn’t had the wall to lean against I would have fallen on my ass. It had been ages since I’d come like that and I’d forgotten how drained I could feel. Drained quite literally. I shook my head looking down at Ryuu. He was wiping some off his chin and grinning at me. “See the water is still hot.” “Yeah . . .” I turned slightly, feeling-weird didn’t even cover it. What was I supposed to do? Thank him? Kiss him? Fuck him silly? I turned back to him trying to think of what to say and suddenly had a wet, very horny singer clinging to me. “That was fun.” He was grinning at me. He was so close I could see the flecks of blue in his eyes. “Fun? No, fun is playing pool. That was fucking awesome.” I’d said it before I really had time to think about it. He giggled and I realized I found the sound utterly and completely adorable. “I’m glad you enjoyed it. Though I really need to wash my hair now.” I felt my face heat up. “Oh, oh yeah, sorry.” My brain was slowly starting to catch up with what had just happened I was quietly freaking out. Ryuu had just given me a blow job and acted like it was the most natural thing in the world. Maybe it was. If I was really honest with myself, I’d never been as attracted to someone as I was to Ryuu. At first I’d thought it was just your typical this guy is fucking cool to hang with type thing. Then I’d started to really get to know him and his . . . quirks. Even for all the times I’d gotten pissed at him or had to clean up a mess he’d accidently made or even carry him out to his limo when he passed out after a concert, I couldn’t imagine not having him around, not being with him. He was a very bright spot in my otherwise dim life. Maybe it was time I quit fucking around and went for what I really wanted for once in my life. Right now I wanted to show Ryuu that he wasn’t getting away with something like that. Ryuu We somehow managed to make it to the studio on time. To say that I was in a good mood would have been like saying the surface of the sun is warm. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been this happy and just this . . . content. We’d ended up staying in the shower until cold water had driven us out. I’d had to put concealer on a few of the larger hickies on my neck. Kenta had several of his own and as soon as we got back to the apartment I was going to see just how many more I could give him. The talk show went well. I was too euphoric to let anything get to me. I could see Kenta from where I was sitting and just looking over at him would give me another rush of happiness. The interview couldn’t be over soon enough. Kenta met me backstage and I stole a kiss, getting a glare in return. “I know. I know.” I patted his chest grinning at him before wiping the lipstick off those amazing lips. “No affection in public. It would ruin your image.” “Or yours.” I tried not to pout, but I didn’t like being reminded. “My image is of a crazy singer for a visual kei band. I’m already known for going around kissing people, so why not you?” I sighed at the look he gave me, my skin prickling with anticipation. “Fine, fine you win. You coming over now?” “Can’t. Gotta work. My ‘other’ job.” “Oh . . .” I tried not to sound too disappointed but that was next to impossible. Well, I couldn’t be too greedy. I’d finally made it over the infamous wall that he normally had up and I wasn’t about to get locked back out by being too demanding. Even I knew where to draw the line. “Will you call me when you get off work so I know you got home okay.” He raised an eyebrow at me and I grabbed his arm pulling him close. “I don’t care what time it is I want you to call me! I worry otherwise.” “No bitching when I wake you up at three.” “I promise.” I grinned shivering as he leaned up and kissed me lightly. “Let’s get going. I gotta go home and change.” *** I ended up at Sora’s house. He had Hasu over as well and we played video games till nearly midnight. Hasu had crashed out on one of the bean bag chairs Sora had while we sat on the bed. “You’ve been in an unusually good mood tonight. You didn’t take those uppers again did you?” I shook my head. “No, I threw all those away last year. No, its just that something I’d been wanting to happen finally happened.” Sora leaned closer peering at me. I looked away for a second then met his eyes again. He was grinning at me. “You’ve got hickies.” His jaw dropped and he stared at me for a moment. “Reiko was wrong. He’s not straight.” I couldn’t help but laugh falling back on the bed. Grabbing a pillow I hugged it to my chest. “Oh my god Sora, he’s so amazing.” Sora chuckled softly and leaned over me. “Lucky bastard.” “Yeah you’re gonna have the bluest balls on the planet if you plan on waiting for him.” I sat up looking over at Hasu. The kid was adorable and I knew exactly why Sora liked him so much. Hasu was perfect for him. Well maybe not perfect, but just what Sora needed. As Sora’s best friend since high school I was qualified to make those kinds of judgments. It was just too bad that Hasu was only sixteen. I’d already been messing around at that age, but Hasu was different and Sora was devoted to protecting him in every way possible. Even from himself. I admired him for it. Not many people would have had that kind of dedication. It showed me just how much the giant idiot loved the little drummer. “Thanks for reminding me. Asshole.” Sora grinned at me. “Seriously though, I am happy for you Ryuu. Just . . . be careful okay.” I looked down, clutching the pillow a little tighter. I knew why Sora was worried, but he didn’t need to be, not this time. “Kenta is nothing like him. Nothing at all.” “He better not be or I’ll kill him. If anything happens, anything at all you call me.” I looked up at Sora. Setting the pillow to the side I hugged him. “Thanks Sora. You’ve always been an awesome friend.” “I know. You could use some work though.” “Hey!”

Togainu no Chi - Ep. 4 Mediafire

Togainu no Chi - Ep. 3 Mediafire