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It's the first time I make a poem... I'm not good at this but... I feel so sad now and I don't know what to do.. I tried to write them down and hope me will feel better... Hope you guys won't laugh at me I suddenly cry…in the middle of night I thought a good sleep …could wipe everything I tried to sing…to forget all the sorrow… But it’s useless … the pain gnawing my heart… Do you know…I feel like getting sick… Of what you did..what you acted and said… I wanna escape from this scary feelings I’m sinking in the despair of love… Could you tell or show me just one time?? Cause I can’t find “me” in your eyes… .. I’m standing by yourside at this moment… Now I really know what I’m scared the most It’s being with you but your heart is far…. … lol it's so short but I really don't know what to write more...

Title: Omerta ~Chinmoku no Okite~; オメルタ Omerta ～沈黙の掟～ Release Date: 22 April 2011 Omerta ~Chinmoku no Okite~ オメルタ～沈黙の掟～ is the latest Boys Love game by Karin Entertainment. Plot: Omerta is defined as a code of silence practiced by the Mafia; a refusal to give evidence to the police about criminal activities. Set in future Japan. Film-noir theme. Modern Tokyo is now a dystopian immigrant city ruled by crime syndicates. Stirring passions between hot-blooded men entangled in hatred, love, betrayal and loyalty. They classified it under: Love and Revenge Hard BL Game (PILP) System Requirements: OS： Windows2000/XP/Vista/7 CPU： PentiumIII 600Mhz minimum （PentiumIII 1Ghz recommended） RAM： 256MB min （512MB recommended） HDD： 3．0GB min （4.5GB recommended） DirectX： DirectX 9.0 Download Links:Part 1 contains a .rar file with the patch on it. Join with HJSplit or 7zip Download Omerta ~Chinmoku no Okite~: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 After installing, copy paste the alsignup patch to the game install directory and just click the .exe icon. Note: Extract the files with winrar. Mount the iso with DaemonTools and install the game. Extract the patch (alsignup_100723b.exe) in the folder with the omerta.exe. Then double click on alsignup_100723b.exe *For a picture guide on how to install it, check this post (by ayachan94) *For Omerta's walkthrough (made by sarah3161) click here For download re-upload requests, post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

this shames me, I think I over worked it, I will try again :leaf9:

This is really moving, sad and makes me want to hug you and never let go. So many great lines though. I love the part "I'm sinking in the despair of love" and "Cause I can't find 'me' in your eyes" I hope you write more but not from having to experience it. T__T

Sensitive Pornograph (uncensored) Anime Title: Sensitive Pornograph Written by: Ashika Sakura Genre: yaoi Number of Episodes: 1 - have 2 part Year : 2004 Plot: Part 1 : The story begins with Seiji Yamada (Voiced by: Kenichi Suzumura), a young shonen manga artist, who develops an affair with a fellow mangaka, who writes hentai, named Sono Hanasaki, who is also his favorite artist. The plot-line develops from Yamada mistaking Sono for a girl. After having discovered him to be a boy, Seiji still falls in love with him, and they have an intimate affair. Seiji becomes distraught when he learns of Sono's past tendencies of sleeping around, and for a time the two become separated. However, they eventually reconcile after Seiji learns of the emotional damage Sono has suffered as a result of being abandoned and used only for sex. Part 2 : The second part begins with Ueno, a student in college, who works part-time as a pet sitter, receiving an assignment to take care of a rabbit. Upon arriving at the specified address, looking for a rabbit named Aki-chan, he finds that there is no rabbit. Instead he discovers a young man bound, naked, in a closet, apparently a sex slave to the man who hired Ueno. Aki-chan is chagrined to realize that his lover/master has created a twist on a sexual thrill situation for himself - he has sent strangers to Aki-chan for sex before, but tricking someone into the apartment is a new twist. Aki-chan knows his master wants to watch from a distance while Aki-chan has sex with the duped Ueno. Explaining that his master will get mad if things don't go his way, and may even hurt Ueno, Aki-chan persuades him to have sex to ..... Download Sensitive Pornograph OVA: Download Watch Sensitive Pornograph Online (HD Quality): Sensitive Pornograph Online For download re-upload requests, post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

Togainu no Chi Anime Togainu no Chi (咎狗の血 | true blood) Based on: Nitro+CHiRAL's game Genre: Action Drama Sci-fi Shounen Ai Summary: After being devastated in the third World War (known as The Third Division), Japan was divided in two. Several years after the end of the war, a crime organization called Vischio has taken control of the destroyed city of Toshima (formerly Tokyo, Japan's capital city), where they are holding a battle game known as "Igura". The main character, a young man named Akira, is falsely accused of a crime. Once arrested, a mysterious woman appears before him, offering him freedom if he agrees to participate in Igura and defeat Igura's strongest man: the king, or "Il-re". The story follows Akira's life in the harsh, lawless Toshima as he fights both to survive and to unravel the mysteries developing around him. (Source: Wikipedia) Download Togainu no Chi Anime: Ep 1 Ep 2 Ep 3 Ep 4 Ep 5 Ep 6 Ep 7 Ep 8 Ep 9 Ep 10 Ep 11 Ep 12 For download re-upload requests, post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

Title: Lovely Sick Author/artist: Ohmine Shoko Genre: Yaoi Warnings: Age gap Groups scanlating: Essence of Purity Scanlation status: 2 Volumes (Ongoing) Status in country of origin: 6 Volumes (Ongoing) Year: 2003 Volume 1-2 Volume 3 (Jpn) Volume 4 (Jpn) Volume 5.a (Jpn) Volume 5.b (Jpn) For download re-upload requests, post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

Original name: みちづれポリシー Manga ALT. names: Drang der Herzen, Michidure Policy, The Path to Love, Traveling Companion's Policy, Uten Kekkou Rule Original run: 2008 Description: Shinohara, who liked to take care of others like a mother, and Nishioka, who loved sweet things just like a kid (with big build), were good friends. Shinohara loved Nishioka, but was totally a coward when it comes to love. He always thought that “this love is impossible” and continued to be Nishioka’s good friend when he blurted out his feelings unintentionally. To Shinohara’s surprise, Nishioka accepted him and they started to go out. But Shinohara was having doubts and wouldn’t want to believe in Nishioka. What should Nishioka do? Manga-type: Manga Series Written by: Kitakami Ren Drawn by: Kitakami Ren Published by: Libre Shuppan Group(s) Scanlating: Attractive Fascinante Status: Completed Completely Scanlated: Yes Completely Translated: Yes Genres: Romance, Slice of Life, Yaoi Categories: Co-workers; Love at First Sight; Hidden Feelings Main Characters: Shinohara, Adaptations available: N/A Recommendations: Kissing, Kakko Warukute Kakkoii Kimi, Happy Days, Koi ni Tsuite, Gerbera Read Michizure Policy Online Michizure Policy Download Michizure Policy Manga Download link removed by scanlator's request

Synopsis The story is about a woman who falls into a coma after a car accident. To revive, the Death Scheduler gives her 49 days to convince three people (apart from her parents) to shed genuine/sincere tears for her. To fulfill her mission, she enters the body of another woman. Plot In "49 Days," Shin Ji-Hyun (Nam Gyu-Ri) falls into a coma after a car accident. Making matters all the more tragic, her wedding was right around the corner. Meanwhile, Song Lee-Kyung's (Lee Yo-Won) soul becomes possessed by Shin Ji-Hyun's spirit. Song Lee-Kyung then comes across Han-Kang (Jo Hyeon-Jae), who was Shin Ji-Hyun's first love. If the three people who truly love Shin Ji-Hyun cries for her within 49 days then she will survive. Main Cast Jo Hyeon-Jae - Han-Gang Lee Yo-Won - Song Lee-Kyung Jeong Il-Woo - Angel of Death Nam Gyu-Ri - Shin Ji-Hyun Bae Su-Bin - Shin Ji-Hyun's fiancee Seo Ji-Hye - Shin Eun-Jung Kang Seong-Min omg..i recommended to you to watch it ...it's so nice..

For the lovely and talented JenovaVII (wish the pic was better >

ylover drawin somethin im usin paint, so bear with the bad drawin :msn_red_fox 14

I am glad to hear that ichii_kun We all love you too!foxy2 And you should definitely try to write more! You are so good :hamtaro-005 (6):

“Huh?” Tetsu is suddenly face to face with a very pinchable Haido. How now, brown cow? Hyde wanting to be a vampire in an art show is totally out of place but aren’t vampires artistic too? Hmmmm…I remember reading about this in high school. I know…but if he dresses up as a vampire, what will that make us? A vampire lair? A vampire den? A bat cave? Are we all going to dress up as vampires like him? They might kick us out of the party. Plus I am sooooooooooo not vampire material. loool I like this part the mosttt...... Your fic is cooollll...It interests me so much... Thank you for posting this...*tight hug* and wish you can post more...I still remember your fic "A day of Dai and Mao"...I reallly love it...

lool... all you guys made me feel sooo touchy from the bottom of my heart.... I has received so many sweet praises, many warm consolations and hugs.... How could I say now?? I love you all.... I will try to live well and forget all the bad things .......

Ryuu I couldn’t stop pacing. I could feel Sora’s eyes on me as he sat on the couch. Hayate and Isao had left about thirty minutes ago and Kenta was in my bed resting. “Ryuu . . . he’s okay. He’s just a little banged up.” “I know!” I flung my arms up in frustration. “He has a concussion though. He just goes out for a drink and five guys jump him? What the fucking hell?” Sora shrugged, his voice soft. “It’s part of his job Ryuu. From what Iesada said it was a rival gang and he was on contested territory.” “Its fucking stupid and you know it.” “I’m not arguing with you about it Ryuu. You knew when you hired him that he hadn’t given up being yakuza.” I flopped down on the couch next to him and crossed my arms over my chest. “It’s just so frustrating. I hate seeing him hurt and . . . something else is wrong. He’s even quieter than usual.” “He did say his jaw hurt.” I shot a look at Sora and he held up a hand. “Hey, I’m just saying. Maybe it hurts to talk.” I slumped down, knowing I was pouting and not caring in the least. “We have a concert this weekend. What if he can’t work?” “That’s not all you are worried about.” I laid my head over on Sora’s shoulder, sighing. “No. I’ll go talk to him in a bit.” I never got the chance. He didn’t wake up by the time I was ready for bed, so I just curled up next to him. When I woke up the next morning he was gone. There was a text on my phone telling me breakfast was on the table and that he’d be back in time for dinner. I figured he was trying to get his bike fixed. It was his only means of getting around. He hated taking public transportation. So did I for that matter. Buses are filthy. I sent him a quick text. I’ll make dinner tonight. One came back just as fast. Don’t you fucking dare. I laughed and typed out my response. My kitchen, means I can do what I want in it. It took him a little bit longer to respond but I laughed out loud. God how I loved that man. Jack off instead. That actually sounded like a good idea. Maybe later. I had stuff to get done before I headed out with Sora to go get his birthday present. It was kind of hard to believe that he was going to be turning twenty-one in a few days. I was going to be twenty one next March. That made me wonder when Kenta’s birthday was. Had I already missed it? I would feel horrible if that was the case. I wondered if he was going to be nineteen or twenty. I honestly wasn’t sure. I’d have to go check his paper work. Some boyfriend I am. Can’t even remember his birthday. It took me thirty minutes to find his stuff. I really did not get Reiko’s filing system. June. Wow and he was going to be twenty. So he was younger. He sure as hell didn’t act it. My eyes dropped down the paper and I realized he had no emergency contact. None. No family. Nothing. It caused a soft pain in my chest. The only contact listed was a woman. A Takemitsu Shiori. The number was for a local parole office. His parole officer? That was his only contact? Why hadn’t he at least put Hayate or Isao was an emergency contact? Or even Daisuike? Or me . . . wait that wouldn’t work. If he was with me and there was an emergency that wouldn’t work. Still yet it got me to wondering, not for the first time, just why Kenta had went to juvenile corrections. From what Akira had told me, no one knew for certain. Not even Hayate and Daisuike. He flat out refused to talk about it. Taking a deep breath, I blew it out softly and put the file back. It wasn’t like there weren’t things I didn’t keep from him. It just worried me. Who was this Rame person and why would he have been dreaming about him? From his reaction it had to be something bad. I gasped and clapped a hand over my mouth as a sudden thought hit me. I didn’t get to dwell on it as I heard the front door open. “Hey Ryuu! You decent?” I scrambled to my feet and trotted out to the hallway. “No, but you don’t care.” I grinned at Sora as he just shook his head. “Go put clothes on Ito, you damn exhibitionist.” “Meh, you’re just jealous you don’t look this good naked.” “Short and hairy?” “Oi! I’m not hairy!” I stomped my foot glaring at Sora, though I couldn’t help glancing down. I did have more hair than Kenta, but he didn’t seem to care at all. Though he didn’t like stubble, which I found rather cute. “And everyone is shorter than you. Giant strawberry colored freak.” “Well if you are going to call names I guess I won’t share the food Gramps sent over.” “Ah! Oh! Kenta left me breakfast!” I’d gotten totally sidetracked. Over breakfast Sora and I discussed the upcoming concert and the set list. As always he was concerned about not overtaxing Hasu. The little guy put his heart and soul into drumming and sometimes his blood. Though after he’d passed out onstage during our tour we were a lot more careful about making sure he got breaks and didn’t play until he was too exhausted to move. Reiko got very -very pissed at me if I did more than two encores. Though, obviously the whole band had to agree to do them. Three was our absolute limit. Usually by the third time, we’d just come out and throw free stuff at the fans. Three is pushing it even for me. You put on an hour to two hour show and three encores can make it last another hour more, easy. That’s a fucking long night, as Kenta would put it. Thinking of Kenta reminded me of something else. “Hey Sora . . . you know Kenta went to juvie, right?” “Yeah I heard him and Akira talking about it. Apparently they went to the same one but just missed seeing each other, different cell blocks. Neither of them talk about it much.” “Yeah, he um . . . kind of let a name slip the other day.” Sora raised his eyebrows at me, the deep green eyes inquisitive. “Really? Good slip or bad slip, you seem kind of . . . upset about it.” “Well . . . that was partly my fault. Sora . . . I-I’m afraid he got raped in juvie.” I went on in a rush seeing the shocked expression on his face. “He did say that something had happened, that someone had tried and he’d beat them up but . . . sometimes just the way he acts reminds me of-“ “Us.” I nodded seeing the pain simmering just behind Sora’s eyes. “I’m sorry to bring it up Sora.” He shook his head, the red hair whipping back and forth. “No, we both went through it. If he did too . . . then you know how to help, right? Or did you want me to talk to him.” “I . . . I was kind of hoping you would. From . . . from what he’s said it was a gang . . . “ “Oh . . .” Sora looked down his voice soft. “I see.” “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought it up. I’m sorry Sora.” I jumped up rushing around the table to grab him in a hug. He let me hug him for a moment before gently pushing me away. “It’s okay Ryuu. It’s been a long time since I’ve thought about it honestly.” I sat back down, watching him intently. “Are you sure you’re alright?” “Yeah.” He nodded his eyes on his empty plate. “Just, if he was gang raped, there are a lot of other things involved. It’s not like what happened with you and Naoki.” “I-I know . . . I was there, remember.” His smile was so sad it broke my heart, tears stinging my eyes. “That had to have been so hard for you Ryuu.” I shook my head quickly, wanting to banish those images. “It was horrible. Utterly and completely devastating, Sora. I couldn’t do anything to help you.” He reached across the table and wiped the tear off my cheek. “You tried and that is all that matters, Ryuu. You are the best friend I’ve ever had. You’ve always been there for me. If you want me to approach Kenta about it I will. Therapy has done wonders for me and maybe he’ll benefit from it too. You know how much you improved after you went. Even after the stuff with Naoki. I promise it will help him if he goes.” “I hope so. Sometimes he just seems so . . . lost and alone even when he’s right next to me.” We spent the rest of the morning talking about less tragic subjects, which I was happy about. Sometimes those things needed to be discussed. I’d had a few people over the years ask why Sora and I had never got together, considering how close we are. It’s simple. I could never, ever do anything sexual with him. Not after what happened to him . . . to us. I love Sora, but he is more of my brother than anything. I wouldn’t have it any different. He was playing a video game when Akira, Reiko and Hasu got in from school. Then it was time to practice. Honestly this was my favorite time of day, other than spending time with Kenta. To get to be with my friends and make music together, there is nothing better. Except being with Kenta. Nothing came close to that.

Kenta I spent the rest of the day tracking down the rest of the leads. Oddly things were starting to point back to the gay bar. “Yeah, the owner was complaining that one of the customers keeps roughing up his escorts.” I frowned listening to the bartender as I sipped at my coke. No rum, unlike Suke. Can’t stand the stuff. This guy was pretty good. I didn’t put the flourishes into my pouring like he did. Maybe if I did I’d get better tips. Or tips at all. Reiko was about the only person that fucking tipped me. “Got a name?” “Nah, you know how they are about client confidentiality.” “What?” “Confidentiality, you know . . . privacy?” “Oh . . . yeah that makes sense.” He shook his head at me a strange look on his face and went back to wiping out glasses. “Anyway, if you need info that bad you should talk to the escorts.” “Fuck no.” “What? You got something against fags?” He raised an eyebrow at me and I almost laughed in his face. “No. Not exactly.” I set my drink down looking at it for a moment. “You heard anything about a guy named Obuchi Rame?” He set the glass down carefully, his eyes narrowing slightly. “Word has it that he made parole.” “Yeah I’d heard that too. Anyone saying anything?” “Not yet but . . . he was only out of juvie for a month before he violated his parole last time.” I grunted. I knew that much. “Yeah, he went to the big boy prison after that.” “What’s your connection with him?” I picked my coke up and took a long slow drink before setting it down and looking up at the man. “He was my cell mate in juvie.” “Oh . . . Oh! Shit man I had a buddy who was in with you guys. Oda? He said that fucker had a sadistic streak, tried to rape his cellmate and almost got gutted. That wasn’t you . . . was it?“ “It wasn’t like that.” Better lie now or my rep was shot to hell and back. “We didn’t get along and I ended up in isolation after a fight with him. The gutting part’s right.” “Shit man.” He shook his head focusing on the pitcher he was filling with beer. He handed it off to a waiter and looked back at me. “So what are you doing out here? Don’t like your new job?” “Huh?” “The bodyguard thing.” “Oh, no that’s easy. The band is fun. They are the biggest fucking dorks you’ve ever met for being rock stars. It’s all the crazy ass fan girls that get on my nerves. Sometimes I think being a yakuza is safer.” He laughed at that and we talked for a bit longer about nothing much. I’d just finished my coke and was getting ready to pay when his eyes narrowed as he looked up and over my shoulder. I instantly tensed, my hand sliding down to my hip, my fingers brushing over the sheath were my knife was hidden. He slowly inclined his head while at the same time moving away from me. “You might want to move.” I spun around, crouching low. An arm swept through the air where I had been just a second ago. I had a quick glance at a dark suit with a white shirt. Lashing out I slammed my fist into his side. He fell back but there were three more waiting. Four dark suits and then I spotted the cream colored suit behind them. Shit. Another gang? But who? No time. I side stepped a lunge but that brought me within range of the other guy. I blocked the punch and landed one of my own. He grunted and staggered back crashing into a table. “Oi!!! Take it outside shit heads!” Like there was time for that. Who the fuck were these guys? Most gangs knew better than to just attack a Kobayashi. I dodged a fist while knocking down a kick aimed at my stomach. Shit! These guys weren’t fighting fair. At this rate . . . fuck! I tried to move back but the bar was in the way. A foot slammed into my chest and I bounced off the bar and directly into a punch. Shit that hurt, my back throbbing as I tried to take a breath. Flinging up an arm, I tried to block the next punch only to realize too late it was a distraction as I was tackled from the side. Stars burst all around me as my head cracked against the bar. After that I didn’t feel a whole lot, just vague impressions of movement and the sound of voices. Then someone was hauling me up and I blinked several times realizing I was being drug outside. Fuck! I tried to pull away and to my complete horror I was bodily picked up and thrown over someone’s shoulder, a bony shoulder that cut into my stomach and made breathing even more difficult. “Oi! What the hell are you doing?” That was the bartender. What did he care? Fuck this hurt. I couldn’t even find the strength to lift my head. It was pounding so hard it was making me dizzy. Then we were outside. The sudden brightness too much, I squeezed my eyes shut and just tried to breathe. “He out?” “Not sure.” “Put him down here.” I was dumped on the ground and then propped against a wall. I really wished I could fucking snap out of it. I wanted to rip these guys apart. “You sure this is the right guy? He’s kinda small to be-“ “No it’s him. See.” There were fingers on my arm and it was lifted, my sleeve pulled back. The small dragon tattoo on the inside of my wrist was the only one I had. “Kobayashi’s crest. He’s one of their enforcers. Boss’ description of him was dead on too.” Boss? So it was another gang. I choked as water was suddenly splashed in my face. Oddly it seemed to snap me out of the daze I’d been in. “I’m gonna fucking kill you fuckers.” I glared up at them, and forced myself to my feet, using the wall for support. There were five of them. Four dark suits and the cream. They all had their hair slicked back and dark glasses on. It was the police batons and brass knuckles that caught my attention more than anything. Cream suit stepped forward and taking his glasses off looked down his fat nose at me. “We are just delivering a message. Stay in your territory and back off the questions.” “Fuck you.” He smirked at me. “No, I think it would be the other way around.” He stepped forward and before I could move had grabbed me around the neck. He slammed me back against the wall. “You will lay off or I’ll tell Obuchi where to find you.” Something must have showed on my face cause he laughed. A low nasty sound. “Yeah . . . didn’t think you’d like that. He’s looking for you, ya know.” I felt my eyes widen. A very different kind of weakness hit me and breathing was suddenly much harder than it should have been. Just thinking about him had my heart pounding. He was looking for me? Then Ryuu was in serious danger. Fat nose was still talking. “So, just stick to following around those fags you work for in that band and stop with all the questions.” I grabbed his wrist and twisted sharply, ripping his hand off my neck. He yelped and had to turn to keep me from snapping his wrist. “They ain’t fags and if you know whose got it out for them you better fucking tell me before I break your fucking arm.” “I ain’t telling you shit, cocksucker!” I twisted harder and then with my foot shoved him into the two guys who were coming up fast. There was a short scuffle, too short and ended with me bleeding on the pavement. Fuck I was not having a good day. *** “Kenta . . . come on man . . . Kenta! Shit!” What was Hayate so pissed about? “Fuck! Isao I’m going to need your help.” I was being lifted. What the fuck was going on? I’d had enough of being carried around today. “Shit Kenta you need to eat more. Never mind Isao, I’ve got him. Did you find his bike?” “Yeah both tires are slashed and somebody keyed the shit out of the paintjob.” “Fuck.” I got my eyes open. “Finally!” Hayate was looking down at me his eyebrows nearly meeting over his nose. “Shit man, who fucked you up?” “Put me the fuck down.” It hurt to talk, my jaw throbbing in time with my heart beat. I didn’t like that as soon as he put me down I felt like I was going to fall right back on my ass. “Some stupid gang thought they could imitate me.” “You mean intimidate.” I glared at Isao. Why did he always have to correct me? “Yeah whatever.” “Intimidate you. Why?” I shrugged and winced. My shoulder was sore too. Probably from slamming into the wall. “Guess they didn’t like me drinking in their bar. What the hell are you doing here anyway?” “The bartender called Jiro, said you’d gotten taken down and drug out. He sent us over to check on you. Good thing we did. You look like shit, Arakaki.” I looked away from Isao feeling like he was looking right though me. “We’ll load up your bike in my truck and take you home. You got money for new tires?” “Yeah. Just take me to Ryuu’s.” I watched while the two of them got my bike loaded into the back of Isao’s Nissan. I was going to kill those guys next time I saw them. It was going to cost me the next months pay to fix my bike.

A rabbit and a wild boar? And the boar is in love with the rabbit? hahaha They are very cute! Mine:

Ryuu I woke in a slight panic. Kenta hadn’t come home last night . . . or rather this morning. I’d stayed up as late as I could but had finally crashed out on my bed. I went to sit up and realized I was no longer laying on top of the covers and something was weighing them down beside me. My eyes widened and I gasped softly seeing Kenta asleep beside me. He was lying on his stomach, the pillow bunched up under his head. Slowly, almost afraid to touch him, I moved the strand of hair covering his eyes. He looked so peaceful and it made my chest ache looking down at him. My relief was so profound it almost made me cry. He was here. Here beside me. Snuggling back under the covers I curled up next to him, just watching him sleep. His hair was still wet and he smelled of my shampoo. I couldn’t stop myself from sliding my hand along the smooth contours of his back and was a little surprised to find that he was only wearing boxers. He never went to bed without wearing both boxers and pajama pants and socks usually. At least he never had when he’d stayed over before. It was entirely too tempting and I wondered if he’d done it on purpose. Why else would he come to bed mostly naked? Licking my lips I moved closer shivering as my erection brushed the smooth skin of his leg. Sliding my hand further down I rested it on his lower back, just above the waistband, waiting to see if there was any reaction. He didn’t so much as twitch. Grinning to myself I slipped my hand lower under the fabric. His skin was so warm and still a little damp from his shower and I wondered how long he’d been asleep. Looking up at his face, there was still no change, his breathing as deep and regular as ever. He wasn’t as heavy a sleeper as Akira but he slept pretty soundly. Maybe I could surprise him. I wasn’t sure why, but I was feeling mischievous and dying to hear that voice again. Sliding my hand down further, I shivered lightly, my skin prickling in anticipation as my finger tip brushed over the area. I froze as he moved his leg a soft murmur coming from the full lips. He’d actually given me better access with the way he’d brought his knee up. I smirked and slid down along the slim form. Why did he have to have such an exquisite body? He was all smooth skin and perfectly sculpted muscle, the odd scar, but that just added interest. I wondered why he never got a tattoo like Jiro or Daisuike. I’d thought that was part of being part of the clan, but part of me was happy that he hadn’t yet. Maybe it meant it would be easier for him to leave it. Leaning down I kissed the smooth skin of his hip as I pulled the boxers lower. He smelled so good. Just the natural smell of him was enough to comfort me . . . or arouse me as the case was now. I resisted the urge to bite that smooth perfect rear, it was just so tempting it was actually making my mouth water. Instead I wet one of my fingers and slid it over his entrance. I wasn’t actually going to do anything, I more just wanted to see if I could wake him up, maybe if he still wanted to continue once he was . . . It slid in without so much as a sound and I shivered thinking about how incredible it had been to have him under me. He was just so tight, even now. I slowly worked my finger in and out and was slightly surprised to hear a low moan. Oh my god . . . I needed to record him sometime. I couldn’t . . . I had to have him. I didn’t want to wait any longer. Leaning up I felt around for the condoms and lube but only found the lube. Damn it. It would have to do for now. I shuddered gasping as I spread the lube over my erection making sure to use plenty. Working my finger around a few more times I slid it out. Crawling up over him I kissed his shoulder. Never had I felt so aroused by a lover. Maybe it was that I felt more connected to him emotionally than I ever had to anyone else. Slowly, gently I pressed against him unable to bite back the moan as I slipped inside. It wasn’t as difficult as it had been last time though it was still extremely tight. He was totally relaxed this time, unlike last time, and I was able to completely enter that incredible warmth. I had to stop once I was fully inside or risk coming right then. I hadn’t got it fully in yesterday, he’d just been too tight. The feel was unreal, the tight heat surrounding my whole length. It was like the heat from his body set my blood on fire, the rush shooting through me. I felt him tense suddenly, his body jerking. “No! Rame! No!” I gasped softly my elation evaporating. Who was Rame? Before I could move Kenta was twisting around the dark eyes blinking rapidly. His voice seemed a bit off, too high pitched and almost scared sounding. “What the fuck . . . Ryuu?”

. . . I will do a better one soon, I promise.

Original name: Sakamoto Gakari Manga ALT. names: 坂本係 Original run: 2003 Description: Having been dumped ruthlessly by the girl of his dream, Okita Haruto decides that he has had his share of women now. Throwing away his fantasy of going to the same high-school with his (future) girlfriend, he enrolls into an all-boys dormitary high-school. He thought by going to an all-boys school he could have all the time and peace of mind to focus on his study. He's tremendously, horribly, pathetically... wrong. Manga-type: Manga Written by: Watanabe Yoshitomo Drawn by: Watanabe Yoshitomo Published by: Hakusensha Group(s) Scanlating: Sweet Lunacy Status: 3 Chapters (Complete) Completely Scanlated: Yes Completely Translated: Yes Genres: Comedy, Romance, Shounen Ai Categories: All-Boys School Main Characters: Okita Haruto Adaptations available: N/A Recommendations: Love Making Read Sakamoto Gakari online Sakamoto Gakari Download: ------- > Complete Enjoy! For download reupload requests, please post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

Summary: A wonderful story about Ryuu and Kenta, about love and friendship. A delicious story about how love for friends and lover can make us overcome anything. Status: Complete Author Note: This is not fanfiction. If that is not allowed then please delete. Also this is a multi-chapter novel so expect plot. ^^ Chapter 1a Fantasy Ryuu It can be funny how things change. In just a few months my life is completely different from what it was. Looking back I’m amazed that so much happened in such a short amount of time. Stretching my legs out underneath the table I looked at my band mates. Akira was texting someone, probably Reiko. Sora was in the process of trying to get himself hit. “Stop it Sora.” Hasu yanked the handheld out of the bassist’s reach glaring at him. I didn’t bother to hide my amusement, letting a chuckle slip free. “You are going to lose, just let me beat that boss for you.” “No, I can do it if you’d quit pestering me. Damn it Sora! You made me lose again.” I laughed softly and slid out of my seat, swaying with the movement of the bus. Hasu didn’t cuss all that often and when he did- “Ow! Owowowow! Let go! I’m sorry! I won’t do it again.” I glanced back over to see Hasu with a fist full of Sora’s long red hair holding his head against the table. His eyes were firmly fixed on the small screen even as Sora struggled to get loose. Hasu might be almost a foot shorter and four years younger, but it was pretty obvious that Sora had no chance. Our little drummer was strong enough to flip the tall bassist on his head, quite literally. Turning back around, I opened the small fridge and grabbed myself a Coke. The weekend had gone exceptionally well. Both concerts had been huge hits and I’d met my new best friend. Speaking of Tatsuya, I pulled my phone out of my pocket and grinned seeing the text message. Shopping was on for next weekend. If I got bored this week I might invite him out to eat or something. I’d never met anyone quite like him and we’d had so much fun coming up with new outfit ideas. I really couldn’t wait to see him again. Sitting back down, I took a sip of the coke. Speaking of seeing people again . . . it was going to be a couple of days before I got to see Kenta again. I sighed, running my finger along the lip of the can. Maybe Reiko was right. Maybe I was just chasing after a dream. I just couldn’t let it go. Not yet. After all the time I’d spent around him he’d seen me at my best and my worst and he still was just as patient and kind as ever. I know I’m not the easiest person to get along with. I’m too emotional and act before I fully think things through. At least that is what everyone tells me. I took another sip of the Coke, thinking. “What’s wrong, Ryuu?” I looked up to meet Akira’s light brown eyes. “Nothing, was just thinking.” “Did you have fun this weekend?” I nodded, “Yeah. Tatsuya and I are going to get together this week. He’s got some wicked ideas for new concert outfits.” Akira shook his head, a wry smile twisting the full lips. “You two knowing each other scares me.” I couldn’t help but giggle at that, even if there was a hint of pain in it. “He’s so much fun! Oh my god, I can’t wait to see him again.” Something in Akira’s eyes changed slightly and I looked away knowing it had sounded forced. “What are you hiding Ryuu?” Trust Akira to see right through me. I shrugged, unable to keep the smile in place. Truthfully, I wasn’t looking forward to going back to my huge empty apartment. I loved being with everyone, meeting Tatsuya had seemed to underline the fact that without my friends around I was nothing. That old fear from high school from before I’d met Sora always tried to resurface then. What if they only were friends with me because my family was wealthy? What if it was all fake? With Sora I knew it wasn’t. For one, we’d been friends for too long and his family was almost as well off as mine. “Umm, you guys going to come over sometime this week? We’ve got that new material . . .” “Ryuu, if you want us to come over just say so. You don’t have to make up an excuse for us to come over.” Sora’s gentle tone actually made me feel worse. It made me feel like a whiny, needy, self centered jerk. “Oh no, it’s cool. I was just wondering. I know it’s been a really busy weekend and I don’t expect you guys to come over.” I glanced back over at Akira studying him for a moment. He’d changed in the year since he’d met Reiko. He was more confident and happier. A lot happier. I would never have been able to make him as happy as Reiko did. Even now that thought hurt. I loved him, more than he probably realized, but I’d slowly come to realize that it wouldn’t have worked no matter how hard I tried. That led me to think about Kenta. Just thinking about those sultry dark eyes and the deep voice gave me chills. He was the quiet, calm presence that my life had been lacking for so long. “You are thinking about Kenta aren’t you?” I looked up expecting to get the usual sarcasm from Sora, instead he was looking at me concern clearly visible in the light green eyes. I couldn’t hold his gaze. “Was it that obvious?” “Well lately it’s been pretty obvious that . . . “ Sora paused and looked over at Hasu who was once again absorbed in his game. He picked up the headphones and after plugging them in, put them on Hasu getting a look but no argument. Sometimes the big oaf was more protective than he needed to be. “You like him don’t you?” I looked back over at Akira surprised. “I know how affectionate you are Ryuu, but the way you look at him is totally different.” I took another long drink of my Coke wanting to avoid the conversation. “It’s pointless though. Reiko is right.” “You don’t know Ryuu.” I looked at Sora but his eyes were on Hasu, not the game, but Hasu. I almost smirked, but we were both in the same situation. We liked people we couldn’t have and who were oblivious to our feelings. At least the person I liked was my age. “I know he seems distant, but you are his employer after all.” “What you suggesting I fire him so I can date him?” “No, I’m just saying that you shouldn’t give up.” “I agree with Sora.” Akira’s soft look seemed to sharpen the pain in my chest. “Just give it some time. I’ll see if Suke knows anything, they do work together you know.” “Y-yeah, thanks.” Akira's older brother was a gang member as well and I knew that Suke and Kenta worked together all the time. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to know. I’d rather things stay as they were. I could be happy just being by him couldn’t I? I looked over at where Sora was practically laying over on Hasu to see the screen, softly whispering pointers. It would be worth it just to be Kenta’s friend if nothing else. *** “Oh come on Ryuu! You can’t be serious!” I blinked at Akira surprised. “But I thought you’d like it-“ “It’s a skirt Ryuu! A fucking skirt!” “B-but it’s just part of the outfit-“ “I don’t care! You are not making me the girl of the band.” “I wasn’t trying to! I just thought-“ “Yeah, you thought wrong. Like usual.” I gasped softly, shocked at the hostile tone and glare. I was not used to Akira getting so upset and especially not with me. Grabbing the outfit out of his hands, I backed up. I started to say something, but the way he was looking at me seemed to close my throat off. Turning I fled down the hallway, slamming the door to my room shut behind me. Throwing the offending outfit I sat down on the floor, my back to the door. Closing my eyes I brushed away the tears. I couldn’t handle him yelling at me. His outfit had been the most difficult to get right and for him to so obviously hate it hurt. I’d worked two weeks on the design with Tatsuya’s input. Two weeks for nothing. Tatsuya was going to be so disappointed. Not to mention that now I felt like a complete idiot. “Ryuu?” “Just forget it. You’re right. I’m just stupid and can’t do anything right.” I could hear him sigh through the door. “You’re not stupid Ryuu-“ “No you were right, even Reiko says that all my ideas fail. I should just give up. Why do you guys even bother . . .” I couldn’t stop the tears anymore even as much as I hated them. I pulled my knees up to my chest and buried my face in my arms. I could hear Sora talking to Akira in the hallway but didn’t bother trying to make out the words. Why was I so stupid? I knew how Akira felt about looking feminine. It was just the outfit was perfect for him, or at least I thought so. He looked so good in anything I put him in, it almost wasn’t fair. The voices faded and I decided that I probably should go tell Akira I was sorry. I knew how sensitive he was about looking feminine. I’d just gotten caught up in the excitement and hadn’t been thinking. Going over to the pile of fabric, I picked it up and set it on the bed. It would have to be altered, but I could probably make it into something Akira would feel more comfortable wearing. Going to the bathroom I splashed a bit of cold water on my face trying to wash away the tears, but my eyes were still a bit red. Shaking my head, I glared at myself in the mirror. “You are lucky anyone even wants to be friends with you.” I told the reflection. “Stupid emotional idiot.” “I’d rather you didn’t talk about yourself that way, Ryuu.”

Summary: The band is in a meeting planning a performance in an Art Gallery. They discuss the clothes they'll get. After the meeting, Hyde ends up at Ken's place and bedroom. Status: Complete :hamtaro-005 (10): Hyde :hamtaro-005 (22): Tetsu :hamtaro-005 (12): Ken :hamtaro-005 (13): Sakura Rated 18+ for naughty language. “Okay, I called this meeting so we can discuss possible gimmicks we can do for our show next week.” Tetsu adjusted his glasses and clasped his hands together then looked at his companions. Ken was making smoke circles with his cigarettes. Hyde was making a concoction of soda pop and strawberry milk. Sakura was sleeping. “Guys?” Tetsu pretended to ignore their antics for the third time in a row since he announced the meeting. “Why don’t we get some sexy girls do some kind of a cabaret show while we are singing and then they’ll start doing acrobatic moves on us or at the audience then of course they should have cigarettes while they’re at it?” Ken looked at him momentarily putting off his cigarette. “No. You can’t do that, man. That’s just so wrong. There could be kids and lots of old people there and they’re going to get weird and stuff.” Hyde shakes his head and is now tasting his milk soda concoction. “You talk about weird, what the hell are you drinking??” Ken looks at him like Hyde grew another head but suddenly develops a curiosity with Hyde’s little formula. “Sakura?” Tetu looks at the sleeping drummer. “Huh? What? Sure, yeah. Right.” Sakura suddenly is jolted. “So you have something to say?” Tetsu tries to focus at him while trying to avoid looking at the two knuckleheads fighting over Hyde’s mystery drink. “Just one sip, Haido!! What the hell?” Ken is leaning over the shorter man. “DAME! ZEN ZEN DAME!!!” Hyde hugs the tall blue glass to himself. “You selfish short bratty spoiled stuck-up little prick stunted cute-faced little runt!!” Ken yelled. “Oh haha! You just had to say cute-faced, ne?” Hyde grinned. “I always knew you love me Ken-chan.” Hyde stuck out his tongue. “I threw in the cute face so you could give me that damn drink!” Ken demanded. “No!” Hyde is threatening to drink it all to Ken’s horror. “Hand it over!” Ken contested. “No. I made it. You said it was weird. What’s your problem? Leave me alone you overgrown horny perverted chimney-like hot booze-headed sex-crazed idiot monster you!!!” “AHAHAHAHAHAH!!! YOU SAID HOT!!!” Ken almost fell back on his seat. “SHUT UP AND I’LL TOTALLY DRINK ALL OF THIS!” Hyde raised the blue glass with a smirk. Ken immediately looked pale. “FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!! CUT IT OUT BOTH OF YOU PSYCHOS!! DEMMIT!!!” Tetsu stood up and slammed the table and looked crazily at the warring duo. Ken raised his hands in surrender. Hyde puffed his cheeks but still holding onto the tall blue glass securely. “Can we please have a decent meeting for once? This will take just a few minutes of your precious time then you can do whatever it is you’re doing.” Tetsu sat down and tried to sound as gently as possible. “What is that Haido-chan?” Tetsu pointed at the precious possession at the vocalist’s clutches. “It’s soda milk.” Hyde showed him a peek through his fingers while holding the blue glass. “And he won’t even let me taste it.” Ken interjected. “Ken-chan….” Tetsu pleaded. “Oh okay.” Ken rolled his eyes. “Will you let me taste it?” Tetsu eyed him. Hyde looked down and smiled and pushed the tall glass at Tetsu. The bassist took a straw and sipped and slowly pushed the tall glass back to the grinning vocalist. “How was it?” Ken eyed him curiously. “It tastes like….” Tetsu pursed his lips. “Like what?” Hyde’s eyes rounded. “Later.” Tetsu waved at them. “Awwwwww, man…..” Hyde and Ken chorused. “So can we have our meeting now?” Tetsu was actually trying very hard to swallow the drink. It tasted like crap but he didn’t have the heart to tell Hyde. He probably will tell Ken later or maybe not. He couldn’t risk getting Ken on a field day harassing poor Haido-kun either. “Guys?” Tetsu looked at them pleadingly. “hai....” Hyde and Ken chorused again but in a resigned voice. “Okay the thing is we have been invited to this party. Well, actually it’s a art gallery thing and they are doing an exhibition for Takamiya Nogoya’s works.” “Who’s that?” Ken frowns. “He’s an artist, you dumbass!” Hyde baps his head. “Of course, I know he’s an artist but who is he really?” Ken retaliates by tugging Hyde’s hair. “ITAI!” Hyde yells. “GUYS!!” Tetsu ran a very agitated hand to his hair. They keep up with this, we are never going to accomplish anything, I swear. Whatever possessed me to form a band in the first place? WHAT? Oh yeah, because I couldn’t wait to get out of high school. Oh good decision, Tetsu-sama. You’re the coolest! “So as I was saying, this art exhibition is a showcase of Takamiya Nogoya’s works. Now all I know about this guy is he’s an old man. Most of his works have been compared to Picasso. So yeah, he’s that good. He also has a thing for indie bands and has a reputation for supporting them. That’s where we come in.” “Have you met him?” Hyde looks at him curiously. “No I have not. That’s all the information I got from the booker.” Tetsu adjusted his glasses as he took out his yellow notebook. “This is an art gallery show. Aren’t there usually a lot of snobs in those places?” Sakura pulled out a cigarette. “I don’t really know for sure but I’m sure there will be different types of people there. Basically they’re there for the works as well as the music.” “Hmmmm….works, music, lots of people…so that means….FREE FOOD?” Hyde beams. “Gods! Isn’t that all you ever think about? With that tiny body of yours, I wonder where you stuff all your food.” Ken sneers at him as he takes another drag in his cigarette. “I’ll be the judge of that.” Hyde makes a straight face at him. “So I thought we need to do prepare for this occasion. We have about 5 to 6 sets to play. Nothing too loud and just the usual slow tracks we play. I’ve already noted what those songs would be and we’ll practice them later. For now we need to decide what our theme would be.” “Oh you mean what we will wear for the occasion?” Sakura looks at him. “Yeah.” Tetsu nods while looking at his notebook and underlining DORESU. “Oh that’s easy! I’ll dress up as a vampire!” Hyde smiles at them. “Vampire? That’s an art show not HALLOWEEN!” Ken looks at him as if Hyde grew another head. “Well, I’m sick and tired always dressing up in those frilly clothes with all these gunk and ribbons and stuff in my hair. I want to be a VAMPIRE, OKAY? IS THAT SO HARD?” Hyde punctuates each word while poking Ken’s shoulder then looks at Tetsu wearing the most adorable smile he could offer. “Tet-chan, can I be a vampire, please?” “Huh?” Tetsu is suddenly face to face with a very pinchable Haido. How now, brown cow? Hyde wanting to be a vampire in an art show is totally out of place but aren’t vampires artistic too? Hmmmm…I remember reading about this in high school. I know…but if he dresses up as a vampire, what will that make us? A vampire lair? A vampire den? A bat cave? Are we all going to dress up as vampires like him? They might kick us out of the party. Plus I am sooooooooooo not vampire material. “Tet-chan?” Hyde sounded hopeful. “Anou…I’ll think about it.” Tetsu flashes him a tight smile. Hyde sits back and crosses his arms and frowns. “You’re just saying that but you don’t want me to dress up as a vampire.” “Haido…” Tetsu shakes his head uneasy with Hyde’s pouty behavior. Sakura stands from his seat and joins Ken and Hyde on the couch. He puts his arm around Hyde as if consoling a little child. “I don’t think it’s the time and place to dress up as one, Haido. Although I’m pretty sure you’d make a very good-looking vampire-chan.” “You really think so?” Hyde smiles. “Yeah I think so.” Sakura nods. “I think you’d make a gorgeous vampire too, Saku-chan.” Hyde leans closer. “I have a better idea!” Ken crushes his cigarette on the Stop Smoking or Die ashtray. “What?” Tetsu gives him his full attention. Sakura and Hyde also look at him. “Let’s do some body paint. It’s an art thing, ne? So that’s what we’ll do. Or we could role play. I’ll dress up as an art dealer.” “I didn’t know art dealers had a dress code.” Sakura chuckles. “Yes they do.” “No they don’t.” Sakura shakes his head. “Well I’m sure they do and I’m dressing as one. No contest.” “If you’re an art dealer, what am I?” Tetsu frowns. “You could be a curator!” Ken points at him. “So curators have dress codes too?” Sakura was trying to control himself from bursting in laughter. “Yes they do. What do you say, Tet-chan?” Ken grins. “Hmmm….I’ll think about it.” He had to admit at least Ken’s idea though a bit surprising but at least it wasn’t as bad as Hyde’s. He could be curator, whatever that was. “And you my friend!” Ken looks at Sakura. “Yeah?” “You’ll be the work of art!” Ken smirks at him. “I’M A WHAT?” Sakura looks at him aghast. “You’ll be the work of art. There will be some body painting done on your body so basically you’ll be half-dressed in the venue. Don’t worry, man. Hey! It’s not like you haven’t done that before.” “I had random characters written on my face which screamed Perversion, thanks to you.” Sakura rolled his eyes. He remembered waking from a nap during one of their gigs on the road then getting dragged out of the bus by Ken. He also remembered how a mother screamed at him and how strong was that old woman who beat him with a stick. If Ken wasn’t such a good friend, he’d be long dead and gone for what he drew on his face that time. Good times.

Welcome to the forum! I'm pleased to meet you! :hamtaro-005 (12): I hope you will enjoy your time here! :hamtaro-005 (6):

Your poem is really romantic and sad! But I think it is very well-written. I couldn't say that this is your first poem. Hope you'll write more!

Cloudy your poem is so funny! You're like soup Woooh!, so hot! In my cold days Embraced me of warmth Your bf seems really hot! like a hot soup. I liked it a lot, very funny and enjoyable to read!

Hey there sweetie ^^ Thank you for your kindness Hahaha that's good then Yeah thats a good ide ^3^ I love to know you too~ -hugs-

Hello! I wanted to say hi and wish you welcome here! onion3

when i am upset i close my self in my room and listen to music for about an hour i also listen to music when i am bored or i play X BOX or read manga or watch anime

Welcome to the forum Emma! Have fun here and make many many friend! :hamtaro-005 (23): And your English is very good!

rabbit8 *hugs back* thank you so much, sweetheart. yes, that's also one of my favorite scenes of this fic too. Hehehehe! Tetsu always looked the most awkward whenever they tried to go all dark and stuff. Tetsu loves colors and lots of it. Like I said I like throwing in real trivia about the band in this fic. I'm very happy you really enjoyed this fic. I intend to post more in the future. Something funny again or perhaps dramatic, who knows? Or maybe a little bit of both. Readers like you inspire me to do my best and have fun. Thank you very much. rabbit4 rabbit10

@leslie . .another movie i haven't seen yet, (wahahaha) CLOUDY was SUPAH thankful to everyone who shared their stuff, now i know what horror movies i've missed (lol) rabbit4

. .oh that's okay, dear . .as long as we could understand you, that would be enough rabbit14 . .warm welcome hugz kugutsu foxy3 rabbit6

There were many many horror movies I enjoyed... from the ones mentioned above: The Silence of the Lambs, Martyrs, Aliens, Halloween, A Nightmare On Elm Street, Valentine and Friday The 13th. Others would be: Shaun of the Dead (my favorite), Rosemary's Baby, Grindhouse, Zombieland and Saw :Red_fox:

I have a free day tomorrow...but still I gotta learn for my semester papers...I have 3 next week and I already feel exhausted just thinking about them :cuteonion8: The good news is that I gave the test paper at physics and I did it well... I ordered two books written by John Saul, I love this writer, so I decided to buy his books instead of reading online. But from what I've read so far, I'm amazed. After I finish with my sem. papers, I'll have enough time to read whatever I like...Waiting for the books to arrive :msn_red_fox 4

Kenta It was a week before I was able to follow up on any of the contacts Isao had given me. Only one turned out to have anything. It was not what I wanted to hear. “Your girl . . . she was paid by a runner. The guy behind it is keeping pretty much to the shadows, but don’t think Ito will be the only one targeted.” The voice over the phone sounded like sheet metal over gravel. Too much booze and cigarettes was my guess. The hacking cough every few sentences kinda gave it away too. “Any fucking idea on why?” “Don’t know and don’t give a shit. Who gives a flying fuck about some dumb ass band anyway? Stupid cock suckers are probably high half the time anyway.” That’s when I decided I didn’t fucking like this shit head, informant or not. The next name on the list found me standing outside a gay bar. I’d never been in one. Wasn’t real fucking thrilled about going into one either. I’m not gay. Er . . . okay so I fucking am. But only with Ryuu. Fucking hell this was stupid. I decided it wasn’t worth it and got back on my bike. “Hey cutie! Aren’t you coming in?” I jerked, tightening my chinstrap too tight and pinching myself. “Fuck.” “Oooh sexy bike for a sexy man.” I turned to see a . . . person walking toward me, hips swaying as long eyelashes batted at me in a way that was a completely fucking disgusting. It took me several long moments to realize I was looking at an escort. A male escort. He smiled at me in a way he probably thought was sexy. Ryuu had him beat hands down and without any of the obvious effort. “Why don’t you come inside with me? I’ll show you a good time.” “If by good time you mean I get to beat the shit out of you for the sheer fucking hell of it, then fine.” His eyes widened and he paled, the lipstick smeared lips trembling slightly. He backed away so fast I thought he was going to fall on that barely covered ass. Teach him to solicit minors. I shook my head and revving the bike took off. I’d look somewhere else for the info I needed. I had other contacts. They might know something. They didn’t but said they’d keep their ears and eyes open. I sighed and closing my phone leaned back against my bike as I looked out at the ships slowly chugging their way toward the docks. I wasn’t getting anywhere and the boys were in danger. Serious danger from the sound of it. Who would target them and why? Maybe I should go back and talk with Isao. He seemed to have the best contacts. I shifted to get more comfortable, the heat from the engine searing through my jeans. As much as I needed the help, I wanted to do this on my own. I wanted to protect Ryuu and the boys. I was their body guard. It was my responsibility. I’d already let Ryuu down so many times. I wanted to get this right. I looked down as my phone started ringing. I raised my eyebrows seeing the number. Why was she calling me? “What?” “You’ve got a problem.” “Like I fucking need another one. What’s going on?” “Obuchi made parole.” I blinked a couple of times. “What?” “You heard me. Keep an eye out. I might be your parole officer but I’d rather not see you get killed. He still talked about you. His parole officer said to warn you after what happened. I don’t know that he’ll do anything, but . . . just be careful Kenta.” I suddenly felt cold, the breeze off the ocean chilling me even with the heat from the bike behind me. “Hai . . . thanks.” “Yeah no prob. Take care of yourself kiddo.” Hanging up I shoved the phone into my pocket and looked out over the water. I couldn’t shake this unsettled feeling like I was falling while still standing still. There was too much going on. I needed time to sit down and think. I just needed some fucking time. Why did he have to get out now? Like I didn’t already have enough going on. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Rame was out of prison.

Kenta I woke slowly, blinking several times as I stared out at darkness. I felt disoriented and for a moment I didn’t recognize where I was. Ryuu’s bedroom, there was no mistaking the European style furniture. Ryuu was still wrapped around me, one leg and arm flung over me like usual. Turning my head I looked for the clock. Seven pm. We’d been sleeping pretty much all day. Well after this morning and last night and yesterday, sleeping for ten hours straight felt pretty damn good. I turned my head to look at Ryuu and felt a rush of so many different emotions it was fucking scary. I turned to look up at the ceiling feeling an odd pressure on my chest. Holy shit, I had actually let him fuck me and he had literally fucked me senseless. I’d never imagined I could go off that hard and for that long, I’d thought I was going to go fucking insane. The last thing I really remembered was the feeling of pleasure so intense it was almost painful and not being able to breathe. I gasped softly as my muscles clenched at the memory. That kind of hurt, but in an almost good way. I shook it off. Though the strange sensation of being empty was a bit disturbing, it was like I was super aware of the way my body felt now. Never had paid much attention before. Shifting around onto my stomach I pulled the covers back up. Ryuu mumbled something and wrapped himself back around me. He was warm but it didn’t stop the odd chill running through me. I was still surprised at myself. I’d fought so hard, nearly killed people to avoid doing exactly what had happened this morning. Ryuu had me doing things I would never have dreamed of doing before I met him. What was it about Ryuu? Why could he make me feel like this, this urgent need to please him, to see him smile, to do anything to make sure he was happy with me? It wasn’t anything like my desire to please Jiro, I respected Jiro and wanted him to be proud of me, to find me useful. With Ryuu . . . I wanted him to love me, to want to be with me. I really did. Closing my eyes I tried to get a handle on the strange sensation working its way up my chest. I hadn’t felt like this since Ayame . . . no this was different. I’d loved my sister, I still did. Some days I missed her so much it was hard to think. Turning my head on the pillow I looked at Ryuu. If anything ever happened to him . . . just the thought had my heart clenching painfully in my chest making breathing difficult. I couldn’t lose another person I loved. Reaching out I ran my fingers through the silky hair. I almost had to laugh at myself. Did people usually get this mushy after having sex? Maybe it was just that I’d let him do what he wanted, let him do the one thing that had scared me. I’d never trusted anyone the way I trusted Ryuu. That in itself was kinda scary. I groaned hearing my phone starting ringing somewhere on the floor. It had been in my jeans pocket. Moving Ryuu off of me I sat up and winced as a jolt of pain shot up my spine. Oh . . . that didn’t feel so good and for a second I didn’t want to stand up. The phone was going to go to voicemail and I fucking hated checking my voicemail. Gritting my teeth I got to my feet, mildly surprised when there was no pain, and grabbed up my pants. Sitting back down, I fished the phone out of my pocket getting it answered just before the last ring. “Kenta, hey it’s Hayate. I know it’s your day off but I could use your help tonight. We’ve got a problem down in that area where you were attacked.” Well shit. I did not fucking need this today. Glancing down at Ryuu, I kept my voice low. “Why don’t you call the other guys? I was up all fucking night with Ryuu.” “I bet you were. He doing alright?” I glanced back at the sleeping figure. “Yeah, he’s fucking fine. You sure you need me?” “Yeah, you are one of our best fighters, you know that. Besides you’ve got a rep kinda like Suke. Just having you there will help. It’s those Fudoka punks again. Are you not feeling good or something?” I closed my eyes letting out a slow breath. “Nah, ‘m fine. Just . . . tired. Was on the bike for several hours last night.” “Oh, bet you are sore. That thing’s not made for long rides.” I almost snorted at that. Could take that a couple different ways. “Yeah, took Ryuu out for a bit so he could relax.” “That was nice of you. I do that for Isao when he gets in one of his moods. Usually works, though sex helps too.” I shivered, closing my eyes and took a careful breath. My voice was a bit strained and I wasn’t sure why I had a weird fluttering sensation in my stomach. “Yeah. What time you need me?” “Is now too soon?” “Nah, I need a shower and I’ll head that way.” “Thanks Kenta, see you in a bit.” I hung up feeling a bit disoriented. After last night-er this morning it felt like things shouldn’t be so . . . normal. I needed time to figure out these weird feelings, but there wasn’t time and part of me just wanted to shove it all down and forget it. It was odd to think doing something like that could affect me so much, emotions I’d never felt before surfacing. Emotions I had no idea how to deal with. I turned to look at Ryuu but he was still asleep, the blond hair spread out on the pillow. I put a hand to my chest as the ache seemed to intensify. What was wrong with me? Leaning down I hesitated just a moment before kissing him softly. How could this man make me feel so vulnerable, so defenseless? *** “There you are. I’d about given up on you.” I nodded, tossing my helmet onto the low couch and sat down next to it. My legs felt oddly weak and sitting on something soft was fucking nice after the hard seat on my bike. My ass was sore for more than one reason. “Sorry. Traffic was heavier than I thought.” I’d actually spent too long in the shower, the traffic was an excuse. I glanced up to see Isao peering at me from over the rim of his glasses. I hated when he did that. It was like he knew I was lying and was waiting for me to fuck up. The ride over had been tough. My whole body was sore not just my ass. It had taken a lot more concentration than normal as I’d ridden through town to get to the office. “We are about ready to leave.” Isao got up and walking over sat down next to me. “Are you alright? You look a bit pale.” “Huh? Yeah I’m fine.” “If you don’t feel up to this you should go on home.” I shook my head not sure why Isao was pretending to be concerned. Then again if I wasn’t at my best then I’d be putting them both in danger. “Well if you guys are ready, Korin just sent me a text. The Fudoka are meeting in one of the warehouses.” I got up and bit my lip to keep from gasping out loud. The twinges of pain came at the oddest times and never when I expected it. “Let me get my stuff.” I didn’t keep my knives at my place. I didn’t want them getting stolen. Going through the low entry past the set of desks where Isao and Jiro normally sat, I headed for the case where they were stored. I didn’t have a collection like Daisuike, but my set was nice. I glanced up as Isao came to stand beside me, his eyes running over the various blades. “You are limping.” I jerked my head up to look at him. I was? His eyes narrowed slightly and he turned to face me. Taking his glasses off, he leaned against the case. “Are you still having problems from what happened?” I shifted willing myself to move normally and reaching out picked up my favorite switch blade. “No.” “Then what’s wrong? You didn’t hurt yourself carrying Ryuu last night did you?” Maybe that would be a good excuse. I shrugged not looking at him. “He’s not exactly light.” “Kenta . . .” I glanced back up startled when he put a hand on my arm giving it a soft squeeze. “Don’t be straining yourself, okay. I know it freaked you out, what happened to Ryuu. If you need someone to talk to, I’m here.” He gave my arm another gentle squeeze and walked off. I stared after him honestly shocked. Isao had just acted like a fucking person for once. He’d never been that nice to me. Ever. It made me wonder what was going on. Shrugging it off, I picked up two more knives and followed him out.

“Okay now what about me? Who do I get to dress up as?” Hyde crossed his arms to his chest and giving Ken, ‘the evil eye’. “Haha! You my dear sweet darling Haido-sama will be THE PAINTER!” Ken gestured with his arms wide. “REALLY? I’LL BE A PAINTER! THAT’S THE COOLEST EVER!!! YOU’RE A GENIUS KEN-CHAN!!” Hyde clasped his hands and was now seeing Ken in a very different light. A very bright light actually blooming with flowers and feathers and sakura blossoms and humping rabbits on the backdrop. “Of course I know that. What do you think I stayed in college for?” Ken smirked with his hands on his hips now. “But you quit college.” Sakura raised an eyebrow at him and chuckled. “I did it for friendship.” Ken looked intently at Tetsu and put an arm around him and squeezed his shoulder for further emphasis. “Anou…you wanted to be in a band cuz this was a place to get a lot of girls, you moron.” Tetsu and punched him in the stomach. “Well that too.” Ken grinned like a Cheshire cat who caught a fish. “Haha! You are such a pervert, Ken-chan!” Hyde snickered and shook his head. “Oh yeah? Look who’s talking Mister-I-May-Be-Small-But-Not-In-Bed! I bet that’s all you ever say to anyone you try to score and you have the nerve to call me the pervert!” “I will take that as a compliment then.” Hyde crossed his arms and nodded his head confidently. “Isn’t it supposed to be like it’s not about the size but how you use it?” Sakura interjected. “Guys, maybe you ought to be thinking like it’s about who you use it for?” Tetsu frowned. He didn’t even know exactly what made him say it but he didn’t want to look like a prude. “Well at least I know who I use it for!” Ken grinned. “Me too!” Hyde smiled. Sakura just laughed. “Gyah! Enough with this pervert talk, so before we wrap up this meeting, it has been decided that we will all dress up according to Ken’s idea. We prepare 6 to 7 tracks for the show. We start practicing tomorrow at 9 AM. Please try not to be late again.” “Why are you all looking at me?” Hyde appeared confused. “Because you were late, little prince and because of you, we almost did not make it to the bus for Hokkaido for our gig there.” Ken leered at him. “I thought we were already okay on that. Why are you bringing it up again? Tet-chan….?” Hyde pouted and looked like he was going to break into tears at Tetsu. Tetsu blanched. He did not really mean to bring it up. It’s just that, well…okay…he did bring it up but of course he has forgiven Haido for it. The poor guy already learned his lesson. He just did not want a repeat of last time. It was not everyday they could be booked for a reasonable gig as this. For once, playing in art exhibit would be a sweet break from the live houses they usually frequented. Hyde continued to pout. “You still hate me. You still haven’t forgiven me.” “Now..now..Haido…of course, Tetsu-san has forgiven you. It’s just that none of us have been late for a gig except for you. But that’s all in the past now. Right, Ken?” Sakura tries to console Hyde using his deep sexy bedroom voice. “Yeah. Just so you remember that, you little brat.” Ken nodded. “Right, Tetsu-san?” Sakura looked at Tetsu. “Of course.” Tetsu smiled gently while looking at Hyde squeezing himself in Sakura’s arms as the drummer rubbed his back consolingly. “Are you alright now, Haido-chan?” Sakura looked down at the bundle (Hyde) attached to his arm. “I guess so. I’ll be good. I won’t be late like last time.” Hyde looked down. “That’s good, Hyde.” Tetsu smiled and tucked his yellow notebook in his pocket. “Anou…would it be okay if I stay at your place tonight, Tet-chan? That way I make extra sure that I’d wake up on time?” Hyde beamed. “Sorry, man. I’m afraid that can't be possible. My family will be visiting and they’ll be occupying the entire flat.” Tetsu looked anguished. “How about you Saku-chan?” Hyde looked at Sakura. “My place is very small and there is only one bed.” Sakura shrugged. “I promise I won’t take too much space.” Hyde smiled. “Yeah right! Before you know it, Sakura would be kissing the floor because of you. You sleep like a clock, Haido! You have your arms and legs spread out like an eagle. Not only that, you have the annoying habit of hogging the blanket to yourself and worse, YOU SNORE!” “I DO NOT! YOU’RE MAKING IT ALL UP! You should see yourself how you sleep! If I only had a camera, I’d have proof.” “Oh come on! You don’t! You’re just trying to turn this on me!” Ken waved him off. Sakura shook his head and lighted another cigarette as he watched the two bickering again. He never had a problem having the diminutive vocalist crash at his place whenever he pleased. He had the run of the apartment anyway. Maybe he ought to get a duplicate key for him. Note to self, make duplicate key for Haido-chan. :hamtaro-005 (8)::hamtaro-005 (18): "Okay remind me again why in the world did I end up here at your place?" Hyde poked Ken's back while Ken was opening the door to his apartment. "Because Sakura got a sudden call from his brother to meet him that's why." "I thought they didn't like each other much." Hyde followed him inside as they began to take off their shoes. "Yes they do. They're just not that icky mushy type." Ken placed the keys on the counter top table. "I wonder what it would be like if I had a sibling. I'd probably spoil them to death." Hyde mused. "I don't think so. You're such a brat, Haido." Ken snickered. "Not my fault!" Hyde pouted. "Just so you know the only reason i am sleeping in your pad because Saku-chan and Tet-chan cant be available and that I need to get be on time for our practice tomorrow." Hyde uttered matter-of-factly with his hands on his sides. "Yeah..yeah..." Ken took off his jacket and hanged it on the back of the door. "So where do i sleep?" Hyde smiles. "Duh? The floor of course! Just get the extra futon inside the cabinet to your left." Ken was patting his pants for his lighter. "WHAT?! YOU CANT MAKE ME SLEEP ON THE FLOOR YOU IDIOT! I'M A GUEST HERE!" Hyde looked at him aghast. Talk about hospitality. Ken may be a genius but he can be such an ass. "Guest? Are you out of your mind? You are forced to CRASH at my place so I could be your human alarm clock. I'm actually doing you a HUGE favor letting you sleep here and FYI! You can't be a guest. We've known each other far too long for us to go into this proper host and guest shit." Ken walked to his kitchen to get a cold beer. "Then why is there a cat on your bed?" Hyde pointed accusingly at the big ball of fluff nestled comfortably right smack in the middle of Ken's bed. "That cat has a name and it's Elizabeth. SHE has rights, you know. SHE lives here. You don't." Ken shrugged and took a swig of his beer. Hyde narrowed his eyes as he watched Ken opening the fridge for a can of tuna. Hyde shot another glance at the cat who has now woken up to see what the ruckus was all about. Elizabeth looks at Hyde. Man and cat are now locked in a staring battle. This goes on for another 30 seconds. Owner of cat notices the two still eye locked and shrugs and enters the kitchen to pour cold milk on Elizabeth's cup. BACK IN THE BEDROOM. Cat blinks. Hyde twitches. Cat stretches and simply jumps off the bed, walks out of the bedroom and enters kitchen and rubs herself on Ken's legs. Ken picks her up and rubs her back as she is positioned comfortably with her head tucked on his shoulder. Inside the room, they hear a yell. "WHAT THE HELL, HAIDO?!" Ken looks at him surprised. Elizabeth gives him the evil eye. "HAHA! I WON! I WON!!! VICTORIOUS!!! HAHA!!! NO ONE CAN BEAT ME!!!" Hyde was jumping and laughed triumphantly. Author notes: I hope you enjoyed this dizzy fanfic of mine which I wrote years ago. I posted this to distract everyone till I can post my promised Takumi-kun fic. Hehehe!

Ryuu He slowly relaxed his knuckles no longer white as he gripped the countertop. I hadn’t thought about how this would affect him and it was unfair of me to expect him to just understand. He was used to being completely in the shadows and to suddenly be thrust into the limelight would no doubt be overwhelming for him. He was such a private person anyway. Hell, I didn’t even know where he lived and as far as I knew no one did. He leaned back against me for a moment and I thought he was going to let me just hold him, but then he was turning away, grabbing up a towel. “Go get ready Ryuu. You’ve got shit to take care of.” I sighed and let my arms drop to my sides. “Alright. Thank you for breakfast.” I got a grunt in response. Narrowing my eyes I grabbed his wrist and started for the bedroom. He tried to yank away, but I just gripped him harder. He needed to relax and quit being so stressed out. He was not my bodyguard right now, he was my lover and I needed to remind him of that. “Ryuu! What the fuck!” “Make-up sex.” “What?” He sounded almost panicked and I giggled. Now that was cute. “We just had our first fight and now we are going to have make-up sex.” “Ryuu! We don’t have time for that! Besides, that wasn’t the first time . . .” I turned to him backing him up against the wall as we stood in the hallway. The dark eyes were wide as he looked at me. It wasn’t that often that I could catch him off guard like this. “It’s the first time since we became a couple. You are upset and I want to make you feel better.” “Ain’t upset.” His eyes slid away from me as he said it. I took his face and turned his head so he had to look at me. “Liar.” I kissed him feeling a slight tremble run through his body. Letting go of his head, I slid my fingers up under his shirt, never giving him a moment to protest. No matter how hard he tried I’d learned to see past the gruff exterior and I wasn’t about to let him get away with trying to shove me back out, not after last night. Never again would I be on the other side of that wall, even if I had to break it down. By the time I had him back on the bed he was returning my kisses, though his eyes were still unsure. Even after last night he still seemed hesitant, but I didn’t mind taking charge. Getting his shirt off, I started kissing down his neck to his chest. He was so beautifully defined, the muscles taunt under the smooth skin. He twitched, jerking as I sucked on a nipple my teeth lightly grazing it. I loved how sensitive he was and the way he would make those low breathy sounds that were more erotic than a simple moan. Trailing my lips down the flat stomach, I quickly undid his pants getting a softly murmured protest. Yanking the jeans down, I smirked up at him. He was already hard, his erection straining the fabric of his boxers. He’d raised his head off the bed so he could watch me, his eyes almost hidden behind the dark lashes. Pulling the boxers out of the way I immediately took him into my mouth, my hand wrapping around the shaft. The slightly spicy taste of him combined with the soft masculine smell was intoxicating and I wasn’t sure I could control myself. It was odd that I’d never felt this level of attraction before. This dizzying need to do whatever I could to get him screaming, to pleasure him in every way possible. Thinking about the dark look in his eyes as he’d yelled at me, knowing how upset he’d been seemed to heighten the searing desire to see that same level of arousal only in pleasure instead of anger. Sucking, I swirled my tongue around the head and had to grab his hips to keep him from bucking. He was cussing up a storm his hands grasping at the sheets. Suddenly his fingers were in my hair and he was pulling my head back. I didn’t let up the suction even as he tried to pull me off. “Ryuu . . . oh fuck stop Ryuu!” I allowed him to move me back already missing the taste and feel of him. I raised an eyebrow at him as he sat up looking down at me. He was panting and flushed and absolutely gorgeous. I was not about to leave it at this. Was he trying to prove a point by stopping me? “What’s wrong Ken-chan?” I put on my best innocent look, smiling at him and got a rather blank look in return. Crawling back up over him I forced him back down onto the bed. “Maybe that was a bit over stimulating?” He frowned nodding and then just as quickly shook his head. He opened his mouth to say something and then shut it looking confused. I laughed, I couldn’t help it. He was just entirely too cute. Though I was a bit irritated that he wanted to stop, I was not about to. I glanced toward the nightstand. It was almost ten. Plenty of time. Keeping him pinned I grabbed the condom off the table along with the lube. I’d not used enough last night when I’d prepped myself and wasn’t going to make that mistake now. “W-wait! Ryuu!” Looking down at him I smiled. “Nope. Waited long enough.” I smacked his hand away as he tried to keep me from putting the condom on him. “Fuck! Ryuu stop it! We don’t have time for-“ I kissed him, thrilled when his mouth opened automatically. I loved feeling that soft moan vibrate against my lips as I stroked his tongue with mine. After a long moment I slowly pulled back to look at him. “Do you want to be on top this time?” He blinked at me a couple of times looking as if he wasn’t sure this was really happening. This was what I’d missed last night by having the lights off, all these wonderful expressions on the normally impassive face. When he hesitated I shrugged and shifting back slightly wiggled out of my sweats. The soft heat from his body made me bite my lip in anticipation. “Ryuu . . .” His voice was soft almost supplicating. “Ryuu we shouldn’t-“ “Hush.” Taking his wrists I pulled his hands away from my hips where he’d been trying to stop me from moving onto him. Leaning down over him, I held his arms above his head and looked into those normally impenetrable black eyes. There was a kind of softness there as he looked back at me that made me catch my breath. “I want you Kenta. Even if we argue and are upset with each other I will always want you. Please let me love you.” He closed his eyes and turned his head away and I thought for a moment I’d undone everything. “Kenta-“ I yelped, shocked as he suddenly twisted out of my grip and flipped me. Blinking rapidly as I suddenly found myself staring up at him I tried to catch my breath. Was he mad at me? No . . . the way he was looking at me . . . I’d never imagined I’d ever see that kind of vulnerability in his eyes, a kind of hopeless desperation. Then he was kissing me. If I’d thought his kisses were passionate last night, these sent me into dizzying heights that made me wonder if I’d ever recover. “Why?” I almost missed the softly breathed word as he kissed my neck sending a rush through me. “Because I love you Kenta.” I pulled his head up so I could look at him. What was he so afraid of? Why did he continue to try to resist? Because of the scandal? No, he’d been timid last night too. It was so at odds with what he was like normally and I wasn’t entirely sure how to deal with it. It made me feel like I really was forcing him into this. He slowly raised his eyes to look at me, but I wasn’t sure how to read the look in them. Then he was kissing me again and I moaned feeling his hand grab me pumping with almost rough jerks. I cried out softly trying not to writhe. A knee spread my legs and I willingly moved lifting my hips toward him. I gasped as I felt fingers slide past my balls, stroking me. A slow gentle finger nudged in and I shuddered, a moan slipping free. How did he . . . why was he . . . I’d thought he didn’t know, any questions flew out of my head as a second finger then a third was added. They were slowly removed and he was kissing me again, his weight settling over me. I was trembling all over feeling utterly helpless and completely consumed. Strong hands lifted my hips slightly and then he was entering me. His thrusts were slow, gentle and maddening. I brought my hips up to meet him, my back arching as I tried to force him deep, faster. I could hear myself whining, but I was powerless to stop. His movements sped up, the rhythm sending him deeper as my body adjusted. “Oh shit . . . Ryuu . . .” “N-not yet . . . oh god not yet!” His soft moan was the only answer I got and then I felt it, the gentle pulsing sensation that seemed to reach my very core. I came with a weak cry, my hips thrusting spasmodically and I heard him gasp.

Kenta This was not even fucking funny. I’d finally managed to get out of the bed after Ryuu had literally tried everything from holding me down to pouting. It wasn’t going to work right now. I wasn’t about to let him ruin his career over something as fucking stupid as me. I was glad I’d thought to take a shower before I woke him up or I’d never have been able to get ready. He was still pouting when I finished making breakfast. Curled up on the couch in front of the giant flat screen, he wouldn’t look at me. The news was on and I was getting sick of hearing the comments about the two of us. There was all kinds of speculation as to what was actually going on in the pictures. One woman saying that it looked like Ryuu was forcing himself on me. I almost snorted at that, as if he could. Sighing, I set the tray on the coffee table and grabbing the remote turned the TV off. “Ryuu , we need to talk about this.” He looked up at me and after a moment leaned forward and jerked the remote out of my hand. “I know how to handle this Kenta. I already talked to Nakamara. I was supposed to do a radio show tomorrow anyway, so we are just going to keep that scheduled. Honestly you are making too big a deal of it. I stepped back pointing at the screen. “How fucking long do you think it will take before they find out who I am?” “You are my bodyguard Kenta, everyone knows that.” The scornful look he tossed my way sent a chill through me, a cold weight settling in my gut. I’d seen that look so often in my life I’d thought I was immune to it, but apparently not from Ryuu. “It’s not that hard to find out who you are. Stop freaking out on me.” “So fucking sorry if I don’t fucking like having my fucking picture all over the fucking news.” “Kenta.” I was surprised at the sharp tone, his eyes more like granite than the soft grey I was used too. “Shut up.” I blinked at him. Why didn’t he get how big a deal this was? I didn’t want to be the one responsible for ruining his career. I also really did not like having pictures of me making out with him being shown on the fucking news. Without saying anything else I turned on my heel, walking back into the kitchen to start cleaning it. I needed something to do with my hands, something to distract me from this whole fucking situation. Fuck him once and now he thinks he can just fucking act like . . . shit . . . he is my boss. Shit. Now I was mad at myself. What the fuck was I doing? Throwing the pan into the sink I stared down at the soapy water. My brain was stuck on last night. I didn’t want it to be a onetime thing. I’d never thought sex could be that . . . satisfying. There had never been any meaning behind it before. Never been anything other than a quick fuck on both sides just for something to do. Both times come to think of it. I’d just done it because it seemed like what I was supposed to do. Neither girl had wanted anything to do with me once I got out of juvie though. Then again juvie had went and totally fucked with my head. Juvie didn’t count. Nothing that happened in juvie counted. Then joining the yakuza and working nights meant meeting girls got a lot fucking harder and if I was honest with myself I never fucking cared. Reiko was the only girl I’d ever met that I honestly liked and I wasn’t the least bit attracted to her. I knew that meeting Ryuu was the best fucking thing that had ever happened to me. Even if it had never gone any further than him being my boss, this job had probably saved my life. Sighing, I slowly started cleaning the pan. Last night had been so good so why was it all going to shit now? I didn’t want to fight with him about this. It felt totally different than any other fights we’d been in and I didn’t like this odd feeling it gave me. This slightly lost, unsure feeling was not something I was used to. I should be used to him being pissed at me, so why did it hurt that he was being like this. It shouldn’t fucking hurt. Taking a deep breath I realized it was me. I was the one pressing the issue. He wasn’t concerned in the least and I was freaking out. Hanging my head I gripped the counter. This relationship stuff was fucking hard. I wasn’t used to having anyone else to worry about, not like this. I jumped, startled as arms wrapped around my waist pulling me back flush against him. A chin rested on my shoulder. “I’m sorry. You just don’t understand, Kenta. I’ve grown up being constantly watched and talked about. I can’t even go shopping without something being mentioned in the tabloids.” He paused and there was a soft sigh, his breath hot on my ear. “I didn’t mean to dismiss your feelings about it, though.”

Kenta Slowly opening my eyes, I blinked a few times. It was bright in the room and I wondered what time it was. I had no idea what time I’d finally went to sleep. Laying awake next to Ryuu the full weight of what we’d done had finally hit me. Even this morning it gave me a jolt to realize it. Rolling over on to my side, I looked at the face that had become so familiar to me. Just looking at him caused this soft ache in my chest that I’d never felt before. Holy fuck, I was screwed in every sense of the word. I’d never thought that I’d end up falling for him as hard as I had. Last night had just proved that when it came to Ryuu I still had a shit load to learn. I raised my head hearing his phone ring. That was the house phone, not his cell which meant it was either his mother or a business call. Slipping out of the bed, being careful not to wake him I trotted down the hall to the office and grabbed it up on the last ring. “Ito residence Arakaki speaking.” I smirked, it had taken me two months to remember how to properly answer the phone. Ryuu had not liked my normal way of answering it. “Kenta. You are there very early are you not?” I blinked a couple of times the smirk fading. Kaori sounded pissed which was highly unusual. Actually, I’d never heard her upset before. “Uh . . . I stayed the night . . .” That now had a totally new meaning. “Oh did you?” Fuck . . . did she know something? That tone was biting. “Do me a favor, boy and go turn the television on.” I felt a soft pain go through me at her suddenly formal manner. What the fuck was going on? “Oh-okay any certain-“ “Just turn it on.” Confused and oddly hurt I walked into the living room and finding the remote turned it to the first news station that came to mind. “Just wait a few minutes. It’ll be on again.” I almost asked what but thought better of it as I watched a report on some political candidate who was running for office again. The scene changed back to the news anchors and they went into the next news item. “Ito Ryuunosuke, heir to CEO Ito Shiori’s UniCom wealth was spotted last night giving a rather personal thank you to his bodyguard backstage at club-“ “Oh fuck.” “Quite right.” I flinched at her sharp tone and watched as several pictures of the two of us were displayed on the screen. It looked . . . bad. Like career ending bad. “I –I better call Nakamara.” The manager probably already knew and would be calling. I glanced around wondering what had happened to my phone last night. It was probably back in the bedroom. Oh fuck. I gulped. “I-Ito-san, Ryuu doesn’t know . . . he’s still asleep.” “He’ll have to get up and deal with this. This is a huge scandal. A huge scandal. His father is furious. I can’t believe you would seduce my son.” I realized with a start that she was crying now. Though I was pretty sure I was the one that got seduced, but no point arguing that. “I trusted you. How could you do this to him Kenta? Don’t you know what this is going to do to his reputation?” “I . . . I’ll go get him up.” “That would be good. Then I want you out of my apartment.” My throat seemed to close up and I had to swallow several times before I could speak. “Hai, of course.” I hung up. This couldn’t be happening. I looked back toward the bedroom. Ryuu was going to completely freak out and if I couldn’t be here . . . fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Ryuu I woke to find Kenta gently shaking me. I blinked a few times looking up at him and stretched wincing slightly. Was going to be a bit sore today. Not that I minded in the least. Smiling up at him I went to pull him down toward me only to have him jerk back. “Ryuu . . . you really need to get out of bed.” Brushing the hair out of my eyes I sat up. Something was completely off with him. He was already dressed. Why was he dressed? We didn’t have anywhere to go today. Why couldn’t he have stayed in bed and cuddled with me? My eyes traveled up the slender toned frame and I stopped startled as I met his eyes. There was a kind of pain there I’d never seen before. Pain and . . . desperation. “Ryuu , there is a huge-huge fucking problem.” I was scrambling out of the bed grabbing up clothes. Anything that could make Kenta panic was definitely cause for panic. “What’s wrong? What happened?” He’d stepped back and was staring down at the floor. I could see the tension in his body, the way his fists were clenched at his side and it scared me. He was upset. Was it about last night? Oh no, no, no. I’d wanted it to be different with him. I didn’t want him to change like Naoki had. “Kenta?” “Your . . . mother called. There are pictures Ryuu . . . fucking pictures of you and me.” “There are all kinds of pictures of me and you. You are in almost every candid shot of me.” He shook his head, a violent movement. “No, from last night in the stairwell.” I suddenly felt like the floor had dropped out from under me. Sinking down I sat on the edge of the bed. If he was this upset that only meant one thing. The press had got hold of the pictures. “Wait, Mother called?” He nodded once. “She told me to turn the TV on. It’s all over the fucking news. I have to leave Ryuu. She doesn’t want me here.” “No.” It came out instantly and much sharper than I’d intended. “You will not leave. This might be their apartment, but they haven’t lived here for years. I live here and if I want you here that is where you will be.” Some of the tension left his shoulders, his hands slowly uncurling. He didn’t want to leave. He’d been upset at the thought of leaving. That knowledge made me giddy. This whole little fracas I could deal with. Him leaving? No. Getting up I walked over to him and gently took his face in my hands, pulling his head up. “Besides how would it look if you were seen leaving my apartment very first thing in the morning?” From the flicker of uncertainty across his eyes, I could tell he hadn’t thought of that. I laughed softly and kissed him. “This is nothing compared to some of the incidents I pulled in high school with Sora. No, this will be forgotten by tomorrow. Though . . . Kenta, I might have to say some things in an interview that will hurt you.” He shook his head, his fingers coming up to grasp my wrists. “You can’t let anyone know about us . . . so lie your fucking ass off, I don’t care.” I leaned forward kissing him again. “Thank you Kenta. For everything. For just being you.” He blinked at me and something dark and unreadable simmered in his eyes for a long moment and then he was stepping back. “You better go get ready.” I raised an eyebrow at him. “I am a rock star. I feel like keeping rock star hours.” With that having been established I tackled him onto the bed. The world could wait. I had one reluctant bodyguard to drive crazy.

Ryuu I could barely keep from pouncing Kenta on the ride home. I was dying to know what he had planned but he was his usual quiet, imperturbable self. Though it was cute to see him touch his neck every so often where I’d given him that hickey. I loved being able to break down that stern façade and make him go crazy. Speaking of . . . sliding my hand up his leg I leaned over against him. He twitched slightly and didn’t look at me. I couldn’t help but smile. “What are you thinking about?” Dark eyes flicked toward me then away. “Nuthin.” I didn’t believe that for a second. It irritated me that people just assumed Kenta was stupid because of the way he talked. Shaking off that thought, I reached up to brush his hair back from his face. I loved the way his hair would feather around his face, almost making him look boyish. He looked a lot softer than he really was. It had caught quite a few people off guard. That and his glare could eat through concrete. He must practice or something. Kenta had the ‘I’ll fuck you up so bad you’ll wish I killed you’ look. Which was kind of funny considering the man was pretty enough to put most idols to shame. I couldn’t help staring at him. I still remembered the first time I’d seen him. Really seen him. I’d seen him at Hayate’s bar before then, but I’d been too focused on Akira at the time. Akira had asked me and Sora to come to the hospital to visit a friend who was a fan. I’d jumped at the chance. I loved meeting fans. Though not quite the way I’d done it tonight. Thankfully that girl hadn’t been hurt when I’d fallen on her. She’d seemed more delighted than anything. I hadn’t known that the friend Akira was talking about was Kenta. He’d been assaulted and beaten unconscious by a group of boys with pipes. His injuries had been pretty severe, though I hadn’t been aware of it at the time. I don’t think I could ever forget seeing him sitting up in the bed. He’d been heavily bandaged, but it had still been easy to see that he was exceptionally good looking. His eyes had been the first thing to enthrall me. I’d never met anyone with eyes so deep that they pulled you in and held you captivated. There had been pain there, but also a determination that was unlike anything I’d ever seen. Akira had explained what had happened and I’d been shocked that anyone would go that far to help a friend. He’d been teaching Reiko to defend herself and had run into the very boys who had been harassing her. Six on one is never good odds, even with someone as skilled as Kenta. He didn’t know a formal style like Hasu, but he had years of street experience on his side. He’d been so happy to meet us and I had ended up staying after everyone left. We’d talked for hours. Well, I’d talked as he laid there listening, those inscrutable dark eyes never looking away. Before I’d left I’d asked if it would be alright if I came back the next day. That had been the first time I had ever seen him smile. Looking at him now, knowing him as well as I did, I knew it had to have been meant for us to meet. I needed him. Needed his calming quiet presence just like he needed me to see past the tough exterior to what he really was. I followed him out of the limo, keeping close to him. He had a hand on my elbow which was normal, but for some reason it felt different. The way his fingers curled around the inside of my arm, his grip firm yet gentle, was sending tingles racing over my skin. How could a simple touch do this to me? Naoki had never made me feel this way even when we’d first got together. I’d never had this nearly breathless anticipation, the sensation that I was jumping out of my own skin. I wasn’t going to hold back once we got to the apartment. I wanted him like I’d never wanted anyone in my life. Wanted to lose myself utterly and completely to this man I’d fallen for.

(A/N) This chapter is rated M for violence and noncon. Ryuu “I said I was sorry.” I didn’t know what else to do. Naoki had me backed against the bedroom wall. I flinched yelping, as his hand slammed into the wall next to my head. He’d already hit me twice and I was terrified he was going to continue to hit me unless I got him calmed down. “You are sorry? That’s all you can say! Sorry! You are such a fucking waste of my time.” A whimper escaped as he grabbed me by the hair dragging me over to the bed. “You wouldn’t even have a band if it wasn’t for me. You can’t sing, you can barely play guitar and you think you deserve to be the center of attention just because of who you are. Don’t fucking kid yourself. If your family didn’t have money you would be nothing but a cheap slut. You are a cheap slut and I’m going to fuck you like the slut you are.” I landed on my back and was instantly hit, the blow leaving me reeling. I struggled to move, to stop him, but he just hit me repeatedly until I quit fighting him. I could taste blood and feel it running down the back of my throat, gagging me. He was ripping my clothes off and I couldn’t do anything but lay there sobbing. “Na-Naoki pl-please stop.” “Shut up!” I cried out as he wrenched my arm forcing me to turn over. I tried to push myself up off the bed, to get away from him. A hand between my shoulder blades forced me back down and held me there even as I thrashed. He was too heavy for me to move him. The large hand moved from my back to my hair, his grip tight enough to bring new tears to my eyes. I felt him lean down over me, his breath hot on my cheek. He pulled my hips back until I was bent over the side of the bed, my legs pinned. “I want to hear just how sorry you are.” I screamed as he shoved forward, completely penetrating me with one violent jerk, the abrupt stabbing pain almost too much for me to take. Why was he doing this? Cruel fingers tightened in my hair dragging my head up. “Say it, say how sorry you are.” “I-I’m so-sorry.” I could barely breathe for the sobs. I couldn’t stop the scream as he pulled back only to slam forward again. Kenta I bolted up in the bed, the scream still echoing around me. My heart was hammering so hard it felt like it was going to jump out of my chest. Ryuu was flailing beside me, the soft cries scaring the shit out of me. A nightmare? Tossing back the covers I flipped on the light and grabbed him, almost getting hit in the face. He was crying, tears streaming down his face, but his eyes were still closed. “Ryuu! Ryuu! Wake up!” I shook him slightly feeling him stiffen his eyelids fluttering. There was no recognition in them as he stared at me and for a moment I was afraid he was going to completely freak out on me. I’d never seen that kind of raw fear in his eyes and it made me feel completely helpless. “Ito!” He blinked at me and suddenly started sobbing. Fuck! What was wrong with him? I pulled him close trying my best to comfort him. “Hey, hey I’m here. It’s alright. You are okay.” He was shaking, the sobs making his whole body shudder. It took several minutes but I finally got him calmed down. He wouldn’t look at me as I gently wiped the tears off his face. “Ryuu . . . what’s wrong?” He just shook his head and buried himself against me, his arms wrapped around my waist. I ran my fingers through the messy hair trying to calm him as much as myself. I held him like that until I realized he’d fallen back asleep. Carefully laying him back down I watched him sleep. What the hell kind of dream had he been having? Whatever it was it had scared the shit out of him. Reaching over I shut off the light and lay back down. I’d call Sora in the morning and see if he knew anything. *** “I’m sorry Kenta, but if he hasn’t said anything I really don’t feel comfortable being the one to tell you.” Sora and I were in the kitchen. He had come over after I’d called him that morning and was helping me make Ryuu breakfast. Ryuu was still in bed where I’d left him a bit ago. “He’s had nightmares like this for a while now. He usually calls me and I come over and make him breakfast. It seems to calm him down. Just don’t expect him to be his usual self today. When they are this bad he can get really depressed.” I nodded as I set the food out on the plate. “He scared the shit out of me. But he wouldn’t tell me anything.” “Just give it some time. Um . . .” He turned to look at me. “Honestly Kenta, you are the first relationship he’s had in a while. His crush on Akira was just that and he knew it.” “Yeah.” “Don’t let it get to you Kenta. Ryuu knew Akira was never going to return his feelings. He felt safe liking Akira and Akira let him be himself.” “How do you know all this?” “I’ve known Ryuu since high school and . . . we’ve been through a lot together. A whole lot.” Sora’s voice dropped and I looked over hearing him sigh. “Just . . . treat him good Kenta. He’s had people in his past that didn’t treat him like they should have.” I nodded. I didn’t understand how anyone could want to hurt him. Sure I smacked him from time to time, but that was different. I never did it to hurt him. Sometimes he just needed to calm down and it was the best way to get his attention. Kind of like a kid. But I’d never hit him out of anger or to hurt him and I never would. Picking up the tray, I headed into the bedroom, Sora’s soft footsteps just behind me. Ryuu was still curled up in the bed, his eyes red and glassy. Fuck. How could he look sexy even like that? Shit, what the hell was I thinking? Ryuu needed comfort not a horny idiot. “Hey, Sora and I made you breakfast.” I kept my voice low and soft and was rewarded with a ghost of a smile. “Thanks.” His voice was a bit rough and I wondered if I should call Akira and Hasu and cancel practice. I glanced back at Sora but he was looking at Ryuu. “Ryuu, maybe we should cancel practice for today.” “No! No . . . I need-I need to . . . it helps.” Setting the tray down on the nightstand I sat on the bed. “Why don’t you eat breakfast and get ready to go. I’ll take you to Sannomiya so you can go shopping.” He looked up at me and I had no idea how to read the expression on his face. It was like looking at one of those homeless kids when I’d show up with food and money, they expected it to get snatched right back. “Are . . . are you sure? You hate shopping.” “Yeah I’m fucking sure. I’ll even go get Tatsuya for you.” His smile wasn’t quite as bright as normal but it was getting there. He nodded and started eating. I got up and went to go find him some clothes. I didn’t want him wearing anything too flashy, though that might be a challenge looking at his clothes. He dressed like he was going to a photo shoot every day. Even his pajama pants were name brand. By the time I found something suitable that I thought he would actually wear he was done with breakfast and in the shower. Sora smiled at me as he gathered up the tray. “Good thinking Kenta. I’ll call you later this afternoon. If you can, keep him out as long as possible. We can skip practice for today.”

Holy fucking hell, he had to be kidding. I stood in the aisle at the market staring at the list in my hand. Ryuu hadn’t been joking about sending me shopping last night. My basket was nearly full and I’d gotten to the bottom of the list only to find this. Condoms. He wanted me to buy condoms. And not just the regular latex, no he wanted the expensive ultra thin sheepskin ones. Was he teasing me? Trying not to sigh too loudly I got the ones he wanted and headed to go check out. The clerk didn’t even bat an eye as she rang up my items even though I was sure my face was red. Next time Ryuu could buy his own goddamn condoms. Letting myself into the apartment I could hear music playing. They must be practicing and left the studio door open again. That meant everyone was probably over including Reiko. Going to the kitchen I started putting everything away. Sneaking back to the bedroom I hid the condoms in the drawer of the nightstand. I’d give them to Ryuu later. Going back out to the kitchen I decided to order dinner. I knew Hasu was going to be hungry. I was half asleep on the couch with the TV on when I heard them finally stop for the night. I was too tired to get up. The food would all have to be reheated, but I’d let them get their own. I blinked a few times feeling someone standing over me. I looked up to see Sora looking down at me. He shifted his weight glancing back over his shoulder. “Listen . . . I wanted to apologize for the other day.” “You already did.” “I know but . . . I don’t usually lose my temper like that and I’m really sorry.” “No, I deserved it Sora. Someone needed to knock some fucking sense into me.” I cringed after I said it and glanced around to make sure Ryuu wasn’t close enough to hear me. “Well, I won’t argue with that.” Sora grinned at me. “Thanks for getting dinner for us.” “No problem.” As soon as the door shut behind Sora and Hasu, Ryuu tackled me. “What the fuck! Ryuu!” He was giggling. “Did you get it?” “Yes.” “Where are they?” “Bedroom.” Where else would you need condoms? He jumped up and practically bounced down the hallway. What the fuck was up with him? I laid back down on the couch closing my eyes. I could hear him rummaging around, drawers opening and shutting. “Where are they Kenta?” “Why? Not like you need them.” “Where are they!” “Nightstand.” He came back with the box and a grin that rose the hairs on the back of my neck. He dropped the box in my lap. “Here. They are for you.” I stared up at him. “What?” “They are for you.” I think my brain kind of shut down at that point cause he sure as hell was not making any sense. “Ryuu, you can’t be serious.” He sat on the edge of the couch next to me, looking down at me. “I am serious.” I blinked as he reached down and ran his fingers through my hair. His eyes looked more blue than grey for some reason and seemed to stare right through me. “I want to be with you Kenta.” “B-but Ryuu . . . I’m hurt and-“ He laid a finger across my lips. “I didn’t say it had to be tonight, Kenta. I know that’s asking too much right now. Besides . . . have you ever been with a guy before?” I blinked a couple of times, honestly caught off guard by the question. “Um . . . no.” “I didn’t think so.” He grinned at me and leaned down to kiss me. Those amazing lips making me lose any grip I’d had on reality. Just when I thought I wasn’t going to be able to control myself any longer, broken ribs or not, he pulled away. “Can I ask you a question.” “Um . . . yeah.” My lips were tingling like crazy and I really didn’t want to be talking. There were much better things to do with those perfect lips of his. “Do you want me?” I finally tore my eyes from his lips and looked at him. There was a sadness deep in his eyes that I hadn’t noticed before. “What the fuck kind of question is that?” He flinched and I realized he’d taken it badly. I grabbed his arm before he could get up. “Why would you ask me that?” Ryuu I couldn’t meet his eyes. The feel of his fingers on my arm was both comforting and disturbing. I knew I was pushing things, pushing myself. I just wasn’t sure. I was never sure when it came to Kenta, except how I felt about him. I finally shrugged, not even sure what to say. I let out a small yelp as he suddenly pulled me down kissing me hard. A soft whine slipped free as he slid one hand into my hair the other coming to rest on my hip. The kiss was taking my breath away. All the urgency and need sending my pulse racing. I heard the box of condoms hit the floor as he shifted us and smiled to myself. I’d gambled big time putting those on the list and was shocked he’d bought them. I gasped as his lips found my neck making me writhe, tingling sensations shooting down my spine. “Oh god . . . Kenta.” I was trying not to move too much, afraid of hurting him, but the way his lips and tongue were attacking my neck it was hard to stay still. “You asked . . .” His lips were so warm and soft against my skin and I felt like I was melting, my body dissolving. “I’ve never been with a guy, but that doesn’t mean I don’t know what to do to make you feel good Ryuu.” That statement didn’t make a whole lot of sense to me, but thinking was becoming increasingly difficult. His hands were now under my shirt and I realized with a start that he was undressing me. The shirt was tossed off to the side and he grinned at me. “I’d have though you could tell how much I wanted you.” I blinked at him for a moment before I realized that the hardness pressed into my stomach was his erection. I couldn’t hold back the grin and got an answering one. He was already this hard after just a few minutes of kissing. It made me shiver in anticipation. “Want to move this to the bedroom?” I put every ounce of seductiveness I could manage into my voice and watched as those dark eyes got impossibly darker. I wiggled my hips and got a gasp. Now that was nice. “You got to get off me first, Ryuu.” I laughed and pushed myself up, helping him up as well. Getting into the bedroom proved to be a rather drawn out process as we took our time getting each other undressed, I was giddy with excitement as we finally ended up on the bed. “Fuck! Why are you so hot?” I shivered as Kenta’s hands slid across my skin. They were slightly calloused and the sensation was amazing. I couldn’t get enough of it. “You are making me very hot.” I gasped as his hand dipped between my legs, his fingers wrapping around me. His slow even strokes were nearly infuriating. I wanted so much more. “Kenta! Please . . . “ His soft laugh was all I got. I opened my eyes to see him leaning over me the dark eyes sparkling mischievously. “You really are a handful.” I groaned, “Don’t tease me. Just go faster.” There was another deep chuckle and suddenly there was a very hot mouth surrounding me. I moaned. It was better than any fantasy by about a hundred times over. He hadn’t been kidding when he said he knew how to make me feel good. Kenta-my beautiful Kenta was doing this, giving me this kind of pleasure. That thought alone was enough to send me crashing into oblivion.

Ryuu I was beginning to wonder how long it had been since Kenta had been with anyone. He barely lasted two minutes, not near enough time for me to really start enjoying myself. I’d been hoping that with the all the medication he could have gone longer, but apparently not. I gave him a kiss before getting up enjoying the way he responded. My hand was all sticky now and I needed to clean him up too. By the time I got back from the bathroom with a wet cloth he was sound asleep. Well, that had been part of the plan too. At least he was laying in the bed and I didn’t have to try and move him. After cleaning him up, I carefully moved his legs so that he wasn’t hanging over the side of the bed anymore. Pulling back the covers was a bit more of a challenge. Making sure that there was a bottle of water and his next dose of medication on the night stand I slipped off the boxers and crawled into bed. If he thought I was going to sleep in them he needed to think again. I hadn’t even worn clothes when Reiko had stayed over. I definitely was not going to start now, besides that I walked around nude all the time. It was my house, why not? Snuggling up to him I couldn’t help but run my fingers over the soft planes of his chest and stomach. He was so defined and sleek, in fact our body types were very similar. I’d peeked at his chart at the clinic and had been pleasantly surprised that we were within four pounds of being the same weight. Naoki had outweighed me by a good fifty pounds and had used it too. I shook my head. Why the hell would I think about him when I had this gorgeous man lying beside me? I sighed, smiling to myself. Even if he was hurt and in a bad mood I still liked being around him. Just being close to him made me happy. *** “Kenta?” “Hmm?” “Can we go out for dinner tonight?” I looked over at him from where I was laying on my stomach on the couch. He was in the kitchen getting us drinks. We’d been watching movies since he couldn’t really do much else. Though he was starting to get really irritated when I tried to do anything for him. I guess a week of being waited on hand a foot was enough for him. It was cute that it made him uncomfortable, made me want to do it more. “Maybe a movie too. It’ll be a date!” “No.” I rolled my eyes and turned over so I could look at him. “Why not?” “Call Sora if you want to go out.” “He’s helping his grandpa.” “Then call Akira.” “He’s with Reiko.” “Hasu?” “I was wanting to do something with someone my age.” “He’s not that much younger.” Kenta handed me my drink. “He’s sixteen Kenta, he’s a little kid.” “Oh and you are soo fucking much older.” I gave him a look. “Mouth.” “Fu- . . . shi- . . . Ryuu! What the hell! I can’t believe I agreed to this.” “You didn’t, remember. My house my rules.” “Jerk.” “Pay me.” I grinned at him. It was one of my best ideas ever. I got Kenta to quit cussing every other word or he had to kiss me every time he slipped up. Grumbling under his breath he leaned down and gave me a quick kiss. I wasn’t going to make him do it anywhere else but here at the apartment, but hopefully he would start to learn better ways to express himself. “Now about tonight. I was thinking we could go see that new science fiction movie.” “Oh! The one about the space ninja?” “Um, yeah kind of, he’s an assassin who has special mental powers.” “Yeah I remember seeing the preview. The special effects looked pretty good.” “So what do you say to dinner and a movie? You’ve been stuck in the house all week. I thought you’d be more than ready to get out.” He glanced over at me and I felt my heart skip a beat at the sultry look. “I like being here.” My breath seemed to catch in my throat for a moment. He really did like being here, with me? I started to lean toward him, not even realizing I was doing so, but he was still talking. “Your place is a lot bigger than mine. I would have had to fight someone for the bathroom every morning and trying to get laundry done is a bitch anyway. Shit.” I couldn’t help busting out laughing at the look on his face when he realized he’d messed up twice in a row. “You and your stupid rules!” “You like it and you know it.” “Maybe.” Kenta The movie actually turned out to be a lot better than I thought it was going to be. Instead of just a typical action flick there was a bit of a message to it and the ending could be taken a few different ways. I kept Ryuu close beside me as we left the theater. Even though he was wearing a hat and large coat, I didn’t want to risk someone recognizing him. “Where to now?” “Dinner sounds good. What do you feel like?” That smile really could be trouble. A whole fucking lot of trouble-I caught myself and realized he had me censoring myself even in my own thoughts. Bastard. I should be able to talk however I wanted. Though he said I was too smart and could find other ways to express myself. No one had ever accused me of being smart. Lazy, stupid, mean, violent, but not smart. It kind of made me wonder if he was just saying it to get on my good side. I thought for a moment. I knew Ryuu liked foreign food, but I was kind of needing something familiar after staying with him all week. “Okonomiyaki sounds good.” “Oh! I haven’t had that in ages! That does sound good. I know a really good place we can go.” He was already dragging me outside. Dinner turned into a three hour event. He was concentrating so hard as he slid the spatula’s under the batter to try and flip the cakes over without them falling apart. For the third time in a row food splattered everywhere. “Shit Ryuu.” “I know! I know! I haven’t done this in so long!” I could tell he was getting frustrated. Getting up, I stood just behind him and taking his hand with the spatula in it slid it under the remaining cake and with a quick twist of his wrist flipped it over. “Ah! I did it!” He leaned back into me, his eyes sliding up to meet mine. “Thank you.” Nodding I sat back down across from him. “Tired of seeing food get wasted.” He actually blushed at that. Holy hell. I had never once seen Ryuu blush. For any reason. Nothing ever seemed to embarrass the man. Hell he walked around naked in front of everyone like it was the most natural thing in the world. He kissed complete strangers and laughed about it. So why had my comment embarrassed him? “Sorry.” His cheeks were still pink, his eyes on the food as it cooked. God it made me want to kiss him and see what else I could do to make him blush like that. I cleared my throat trying to get my mind on other things. “Its fine. Just takes practice. We’ll take the other’s home. Hasu will eat them no matter how bad they look.” That got a laugh out of him. “He doesn’t like ketchup though.” “Mayonnaise. He eats it straight out of the jar.” “Ew. Is that where it all goes?” “Yeah, caught him doing it the last time he was over.” “That is so gross! I’ll make sure to get extra then.” “You mean I’ll make sure to get extra.” “Well, I’ll put it on the list for you when you get ready to go shopping.” He grinned at me. “There are a few other things I think I might have you get too. Oh this is good! The squid is excellent with it.” ***

Kenta Why the hell do I listen to the jerk? “You fucking poke me one more fucking time and I’m going to-“ “Kenta.” I closed my eyes at Ryuu’s warning tone and clenched my fists as the doctor continued to poke and prod on every fucking sore spot he could find. “Well, I think we better take some x-ray’s. You seem to have reinjured the ribs that were damaged last time.” Opening my eyes I looked over at Ryuu. “I already knew that. I don’t need-“ I stopped seeing Ryuu hold up his phone. Jiro’s number was already on the display and I had bite back what I’d been going to say. I was careful not to take too deep a breath as I glared at Ryuu. “Fine, do the fucking x-rays.” I wished later I’d told Ryuu to fuck off. No one told me I was going to have to lay in the most painful way possible to even do the x-ray. I was ready to punch the nurse helping me by the time we got done. I was shaking, the pain making me catch my breath. “All that for them to tell me what I already fucking know.” Ryuu handed me a coke and a couple of pills once I got out of the room. I mumbled a thank you as I took them. “Um, don’t thank me yet.” I jerked my head up to look at him. “What did you do?” He looked away, “I scheduled you for a complete physical.” “Ryuu!” I stared at him. Did he not understand how much pain I was in? “Why the fucking hell-“ “I want you to be healthy, that’s all. It’s not painful or anything. Well . . . they will have to draw blood, but you should be fine. The worst part is over.” “Yeah, thanks a whole fucking lot.” He looked back at me, that evil little smile on his lips. “Don’t worry I’ll make it up to you later.” He was going to have a whole hell of a lot to make up for. I’d never been so humiliated in my life. I swore they’d checked over every inch of me and then some. Getting my blood drawn was the least of my worries. “Ryuu . . . I’m going to kill you.” Maybe later. Right now I could barely lift my head off the seat of the limo. He giggled and patted my leg. “Sure. Maybe after dinner if your pain meds don’t knock you out. They gave you some pretty potent stuff. But I’m happy. Your tests all came back good and even though you do have a broken rib, we’ve got plenty of medication for you.” I looked over at him, wondering what was really going through that blond head. It had to have cost quite a bit for all those tests. I just couldn’t understand him spending that kind of money on me. I knew he spent all kinds of money on Akira, but . . . that was Akira. Akira was vital to the band. Me . . . even if I didn’t want to admit it, I was easily replaced. Almost had been too. I was ready to smack Ryuu by the time dinner arrived. He wouldn’t quit fussing over me, constantly checking on me or getting me stuff he thought I wanted or just hovering around. “Damn it Ryuu will you just sit down. I can’t handle you doing that.” I also couldn’t move. The muscle relaxers in addition to the pain medication were making me feel a bit loopy. He had me sitting on the couch in the living room so we could eat dinner. “I will, just a sec. I’m getting your dinner ready. Have you ever had Italian before?” “Huh?” “I’ll take that as a no.” He was grinning at me as he walked over carrying the tray. I had to admit the food smelled pretty good. “No, lay still. I’ll feed you.” “Like hell Ry-“ He stuffed something round and squishy in my mouth. I almost spat it back out. It tasted very strongly of tomato but the other flavors weren’t bad, just different. I could tell from the look on his face that he was enjoying this entirely too much. I finished that bite and turned my head away as he went to feed me the next one. “Okay Ryuu, I can feed myself.” “No you can’t. You don’t know how to use a fork.” “A what?” “Exactly. So I am going to feed you. Besides, it took me forever to get the blood out of the fabric and tomato sauce is just as bad.” I glared at him as he smiled sweetly at me, waiting for me to take the next bite. “You planned this.” “And people say you are stupid.” He was fucking laughing at me. Jerk. “Fuck you.” “We’ll get to that later.” I accidentally inhaled the next bite and Ryuu nearly freaked out on me. Coughing with broken ribs fucking hurts like a fucking son of a bitch even as doped up as I was. Once dinner was over with Ryuu helped me into the bed room. “My legs are fine Ryuu, I can walk.” “No, you should see yourself. Your eyes keep crossing. I think you are tired.” “Not really, but I do feel a bit weird.” “And that is why I’m helping you to bed silly.” “Oh, okay.” Somewhere in my head I knew I wasn’t making a lot of sense. Maybe it was a good thing that Ryuu was there to help me. I sat down on the edge of the bed and watched as Ryuu found me a pair of sweats. He normally didn’t wear anything to bed, but he’d said he would at least wear his boxers. Stupid silk boxers. I realized I was still staring at them as Ryuu walked up to me. He leaned down reaching for me and I tried to lean back. “What are you doing?” “I’m getting you undressed. You aren’t wearing that to bed.” I shoved at his hands. “I can get myself undressed you weirdo.” I was surprised when he easily moved my hands away. What the fuck? There was no way I was taking any more of those muscle relaxers if this was what happened. He was already undoing the buttons on my shirt and taking his damn time about it too. “Ryuu just let me-“ The next thing I knew I was laying back on the bed. Ryuu was hovering over me, the only thing touching me were his lips. Holy fuck, why was he such a good kisser? Muscle relaxers apparently have no affect on keeping you from getting a hard on when a fucking hot guy kisses you. He pulled back slightly so we could look at each other. “Let you what?” “Do it myself.” “Oh?” His fingers were hot as they ran over my stomach and continued to my pants. “We’ll see what you get to do yourself.” He took his goddamn time undoing my pants. He had to know what he was doing to me. Looking up into those eyes I could tell he knew exactly what he was doing. I probably wouldn’t have stopped him even if I could have. I kept thinking about the shower and that amazing mouth, though part of me didn’t want to be just laying back doing nothing either. Didn’t have much choice right now, as frustrating as that was. Just like with dinner, he wasn’t letting me do anything. “Just lay still. You are going to hurt yourself.” “Already hurt.” “Hurt yourself worse then, stop moving.” He smacked my leg as he tried to get my jeans down past my knees. “Ryuu . . . what are you doing?” He just grinned at me and tossed the pants to the side. Crawling back up on the bed he knelt over me. “Whatever I want just like I always do.” “You are such a brat.” He giggled and leaned down to kiss me again. “I know. But you love me anyway. You look so cute, all relaxed and cross eyed.” I blinked a few times. “I am not cross eyed.” “Maybe I should call the doctor and see if that is a side effect or something. Though it sure is cute, especially when I do this.” He leaned in close his nose touching mine. “Now you are cross eyed too.” I couldn’t help but smile at him as he sat back laughing. How many people would kill to be where I was right then? I didn’t want to think about it. Honestly, I couldn’t imagine being anywhere else. I bit my lip as those warm fingers slid across my skin again. What was he . . . oh . . . that was what he was doing. I shivered, tingles racing over my skin as he wrapped his fingers around me and gave one slow stroke after another. “Ry-Ryuu . . . “ He leaned back over me, concern in the light colored eyes. “You aren’t hurting are you? I’ll stop if you are.” I shook my head. I wasn’t even sure what I’d been going to say. All of my muscles seemed to be tensing up the longer he stroked me. I tried to force myself to relax but that didn’t work for very long. He was looking down at me with those soft grey eyes, a small smile on those beautiful lips. I wanted to kiss him damn it. I wanted to do a whole fucking lot more than just kiss him too. I managed to grab his arm and pull him down toward me. He got the hint pretty quick.

Ryuu I would never get tired to looking at Kenta. Especially when he was sleeping. All the hardness was gone replaced by a soft gentle expression I’d never seen when he was awake. Would probably never see, honestly. The man really had no idea how good looking he was. His soft full lips were just barely parted and I was dying to lean in and kiss them, but he needed to sleep. He’d waited too long to take his next dose of pain medication earlier and had barely been able to move without whimpering. It scared me. Even now just thinking about made me nauseous. If he wasn’t doing better by morning I was taking him to a clinic. He’d whined about having to go last time, but I’d rather listen to him whine than make those pained sounds he’d tried so hard not to let me hear. It had taken me forever to convince him to lie in the bed instead of on the couch. Laying there watching him sleep I couldn’t help but think about the last time someone had slept in that spot. Reaching out I rested my fingers in the soft dark hair. Kenta was so completely different than Naoki. Granted Naoki had changed a lot in the time I’d been with him. He’d gone from fun and affectionate to controlling and abusive. The change had been so gradual it had left me doubting myself. Only Reiko and Sora’s intervention had saved me from being hurt any worse than I already had been. Curling up, I turned my face into the pillow. I didn’t want to think about what had happened in this very room, on this bed. I inched as close to Kenta as I dared. Just being able to feel his warmth was enough to comfort me. I knew I could trust Kenta. I’d known that ever since I’d met him. Naoki would never have helped Reiko. People weaker than him were to be used. Nothing else. He’d eventually made it very clear that he considered me weak and inferior. Kenta never made me feel that way at all, but part of me was still scared that he would change too. Would sex change everything like it had with Naoki? Even as much as I loved and wanted to be with Kenta, deep down I knew I wasn’t ready. Even after almost two years I wasn’t ready. Though I really wasn’t sure things were going to go that far anytime soon anyway. I knew Kenta wasn’t going to push anything on me. The exact opposite. Unconsciously, I licked my lips thinking of the way he’d tasted when I’d caught him in the shower. He’d come so fast I’d barely got to enjoy giving him pleasure. I desperately wanted to please him in every way possible. *** “What is this?” “Breakfast in bed.” Deep black eyes regarded me as if I were insane. “Why?” “Because I wanted to do something for you. I wanted to say thank you for helping me the other night when I was so sick.” His eyes immediately dropped his expression hardening and I wondered what I’d said. “Kenta-“ “I fucked up Ryuu.” “No you didn’t! You found me and took me to a clinic-“ “Wouldn’t of had to if I’d done my job in the first place.” I sighed and taking a finger nudged the bowl of miso toward him. “Shut up and eat. I’m tired of you whining about stupid stuff you can’t change.” That got me a surprised look. It wasn’t that often that I got on to him, but I really was tired of it, tired of him only thinking of this, of me, as his job. I just didn’t know how to get him to see me differently. I knew he was attracted to me, that was obvious, but he was too worried about everything else. Maybe I should just lock him in my bedroom for a while. That thought brought a smile to my face and I saw him narrow his eyes at me as he blew on the soup. “What? You’re always planning something crazy when you smile like that.” “Mm, nothing. Just thinking about pretty princes locked in towers.” He grunted, “Whatever. Weirdo.” “Finish your soup, then get ready because we are leaving.” “Eh? Why?” “You are going back to the clinic.” “No.” “Yes you are.” “No I’m fucking not.” I poked him in the side making him jump and start cussing, almost spilling the tray. “See, you are hurt. We are going to the clinic.” “F-fuck . . .” It took him a minute to get his breath back and I felt bad, kind of. “Don’t . . . don’t do that Ryuu.” “I won’t. Unless you say you aren’t going to the clinic again.” “Why are you being so mean to me?” “You are whining.” “I am not.” “Eat your soup.” “Fine.” Getting up off the bed, I couldn’t help but smile at him. His eye was turning purple, but the swelling had gone down overnight. The other bruises were dark and only going to get darker over the next few days. It was his ribs that were worrying me. He hadn’t acted this bad last time he’d hurt them and I was worried he’d hurt himself worse this time. It was just getting the stubborn ass to admit that he was hurt in the first place. Going to the closet I pulled out a pair of pants and a button up shirt. I knew from last time that raising his arms over his head would hurt. Besides, the buttons gave me an excuse to touch him as long as possible. “Ryuu . . . I’ll just go home.” I turned to look at him. “Kenta. You are my bodyguard. If you are injured and unable to perform your job I’ll have to have someone else do it. Besides that, Hayate already called and said he won’t be needing you at the bar for a while. That and if you don’t go willingly Jiro said he’d come get you.” Silence. “Bastard.”

Kenta “No more questions please.” I moved the reporter back, not bothering to be gentle about it. They were supposed to have left him alone after the press conference but everyone wanted to know about Akira. “It’s alright Kenta.” Ryuu’s soft voice was suddenly in my ear. “I’ve got this.” I nodded slowly and stepped back slightly so he could get around me. I kept within arms reach glaring at any of the leeches that got to close. I recognized a few of the regulars, they did me too. I got a few glares back but most were too interested in what Ryuu was saying. “Akira is doing just fine and is resting after filming our new PV. His health has improved and we expect to be able to do another tour in a few months along with the release of the PV.” Ryuu ignored any questions that asked what exactly was wrong with Akira. The official stance was fatigue, but the rumors were flying like they always did. Ryuu handled it all very well and after answering a couple more questions stepped back, my signal that he was done. Waving off the reporters, I led Ryuu back down the hall to the side stairs. I always had at least three routes we could take. His phone was already going off, the sound echoing in the stairwell. “Hey Tatsuya! Yeah. You got it set up? Awesome! I’ll see you then.” Ryuu hummed as I heard the phone snap shut. If Tatsuya was coming over that probably meant I was going to be free for the evening, for some reason that thought didn’t sit too well. I’d actually been looking forward to spending my one night off with him. As if I wasn’t around him enough as it was. Maybe I’m just a glutton for punishment. “Oh, you have to stay for dinner tonight Kenta. Haru and Tatsuya are coming over.” “Huh?” I looked back at him, nearly missing a step. “Tatsuya and I have been planning it for a while now, but with everything it kind of got pushed back.” “Okay . . . well I don’t see why I can’t.” I opened the door for him glancing around to make sure no one was waiting outside. “Cool.” He grinned at me as he slipped by, his fingers running through my hair. “You should let me do your hair.” “Like hell.” “Oh come on, Haru let’s Tatsuya dress him up.” Okay . . . that was not something I needed to know about Haru and since when was Haru hanging out with Tatsuya? Seeing the hopeful, almost pleading looking on Ryuu’s face I sighed. “Fine you can do my hair but that is it! Don’t even ask to do anything else.” “Oh! Thank you Kenta! I’ve been dying to do your hair. I know just how I’m going to do it too.” I don’t know what disturbed me more, the fact that I’d agreed or that Ryuu already had a style in mind. “Well fuck.” Ryuu Tatsuya and Haru stayed for quite a while. Cleaning up the empty beer cans from the living room I smiled seeing Kenta sprawled on the couch. It was kind of unusual to see him so relaxed. He looked entirely too good at the moment and I wondered how he did it. I had to work hours to look that sexy and he did it without even trying. His eyes were half closed but I could tell he was watching me as I walked around the living room. It gave me a rush, my heart suddenly pounding harder, my skin tingling. “Did you have fun?” His voice was a bit slurred by too many beers. “Yeah, did you?” “Yeah, though it’s weird seeing Haru like that.” “He’s happy. How is that weird?” It had been entirely too cute to see Haru and Tatsuya together. It was kind of odd to think that the normally acerbic and sometimes violent Haru was so considerate and gentle with the petite escort. Though the relationship obviously was working for the two of them which made me happy. Tatsuya and I had planned tonight, hoping that Kenta would get the hint. Though it didn’t seem to be working. Maybe I would have to do something to help it along. “No, that’s not what I meant.” Kenta pushed himself up on the couch. “He’s fun at work. He’s always joking with someone, it was just . . . different. He treats Tatsuya like he’s made of glass or something.” I giggled, unable to help it. “No not really. He’s just tender and sweet and affectionate. Tatsuya eats it up.” Kenta laughed. “Haru? Sweet?” “Yes.” I walked over standing in front of him looking down at him. The man was impossibly good looking and it took all my self control not to pounce him right then and there. “Is that so hard to believe?” “Umm . . . yes.” “Really? You know there are a lot of people who would say the same of you. They only see the brusque, harsh bodyguard.” He blinked at me the smile fading just a bit. “I’m not harsh.” “I know you aren’t.” I knelt down, grabbing a beer can that had somehow ended up under the couch. Setting it on the coffee table I let my gaze travel up. His dark eyes met mine and I realized I was dying to know what he was thinking. The way he was looking at me was making my whole body run hot. I shifted forward so that I was between his knees, my eyes still locked on his. “Believe me, I know you aren’t really like that. You are kind, and considerate, compassionate, honest, forgiving, patient, and stunning.” Long lashes lowered almost hiding the dark eyes. He was smiling at me. “You are so full of shit, Ryuu.” I leaned forward, placing my hands on either side of his hips. “Am I? I don’t think so.”

Ryuu The apartment was cold and dark. And empty, very empty. I tried not to think about how things had gone at the studio. Kenta probably thought I was a complete idiot. Everyone else did too. Not that I blamed them. I’d acted just like a spoiled rich brat not getting his way. Throwing a stupid tantrum was not going to help Akira at all. It was just my own self pity and insecurity. Without bothering to turn on any lights I headed straight for my room. Stripping, not even bothering to put my clothes in the hamper, I slid under the covers. I was too tired, physically and emotionally to bother with a shower. Filming was tiring anyway and I’d worn myself out being all emotional and stupid. Clutching at the pillow I buried my face against it. No matter what anyone said it was my fault Akira had quit eating. It had been my insistence that everyone look good for the filming that had started it. I was sure of it. I knew how sensitive he could be when it came to his appearance. Some friend I was. Sighing, I forced myself not to think about it. The filming was over. Akira had already gained a couple of pounds back since leaving the hospital two weeks ago. Reiko would take good care of him. Better than I ever did or could. I woke sometime later. The green glow from the clock on the nightstand barely illuminated the side of the bed. It was just after three in the morning. I sat up looking around wondering what had woke me. I was too tired to bother getting up and snuggled back down into the covers. I’d no sooner closed my eyes than I felt the bed move. Terror surged through me, freezing me in place. “You little slut.” I gasped, hearing the familiar voice, one I’d hoped to never in my life to hear again. I scrambled back, grasping for the sheets. “You thought you could get rid of me didn’t you?” I slammed into the head board and glanced around frantic for a way to get away. The light seemed wrong and I couldn’t breathe. It was suddenly hard to move. “D-don’t touch me!” “Oh, I’m going to do a lot more than touch you.” His voice was like liquid terror pouring over me, seeping into me until all that existed was those dark eyes and grasping hands. I tried to get away, to get out of the bed, but he grabbed my arm yanking me back down. That incredible strength that I had once relied on was now turned against me. The first hit stunned me and I was roughly flipped over and pinned to the bed. “No!” I gasped as my back hit the floor. I blinked a few times staring up at the ceiling. The room was bright with sunlight. Taking a few deep breaths I laid my head back closing my eyes. It was just a nightmare, but it had felt so real. I could still feel those fingers grabbing for me, feel the fist hitting me. I shuddered and slowly sat up feeling sick. Grasping for the bed I pulled myself up. I was shaking, barely able to keep a grip on the sheets. How could a stupid dream scare me that bad? Running a trembling hand through my hair, I forced myself not to think about it, about him. Staggering to my feet I made it into the bathroom, grabbing my phone on the way. Kenta “Who the fuck . . .” I groaned feeling around for my phone. I blinked a few times trying to focus on the display. “Six in the fucking morning. You better have a damn good reason Ryuu . . . Hey whats-“ “Kenta?” I sat up, any tiredness forgotten at the breathless panicked voice. I’d never heard him sound like that before and it sent a chill through me. “Can you come over please?” “Yeah sure. It’ll take me about thirty minutes to get there.” “O-okay, just let yourself in.” “Alright, I’m on my way.” I got there in twenty minutes. The doorman nodded as he let me into the lobby. Taking the elevator to the sixth floor I got out my key. I was nervous for some reason. Ryuu had sounded so upset and . . . scared. That was the only thing I could think. He’d sounded terrified on the phone. Opening the door I let myself in, making sure to take my shoes off. The apartment was almost eerily silent. “Ryuu?” I checked each room as I walked down the hall. He wasn’t in the office or the studio that left the bedroom. Opening the door, I blinked a few times at how bright the room was with the sunlight streaming in. The bed was a mess, the sheets mostly on the floor, but no Ryuu. Where the hell was he? “Kenta?” The soft, almost hesitant voice startled me. Turning I spotted him standing in the bathroom wrapped in a sheet. He’d been crying, that much was obvious from the blood shot eyes. I started toward him, stopping as he looked down, his whole posture changing as he almost seemed to crumple in on himself. “I’m sorry for calling you so early . . . I . . . just had a bad dream is all.” Must have been one hell of a bad dream, I thought to myself, to get him this upset. “Well, it’s over now. I’m here so I might as well make you some breakfast. Why don’t you come in the kitchen with me and you can tell me about this dream.” He nodded slowly still not looking at me. When he made no move to follow me I walked toward him. I reached for his arm thinking it would comfort him; instead he flinched, cowering almost as if he expected me to hit him. I narrowed my eyes. One fucking hell of a nightmare apparently. Slowly I grasped his wrist and pulled him toward me, not meeting any resistance. “Ryuu . . . why don’t you-“ I grunted in surprise as he suddenly grabbed me, his arms wrapped tight around my chest as he buried his face against my neck. He was entirely too warm and I suddenly realized . . . completely naked. Fuck. That shouldn’t matter. Ryuu was upset. Ignoring the feel of the slender, toned frame pressed up against me I patted his head. “Hey, it’s alright. It was just a dream.” “Yeah . . . just a dream.” I shivered feeling his lips move against my neck. What the fuck was wrong with me? “I’m sorry for calling you so early . . .” “Well . . . it’s not really in my job description so I guess I’ll have to charge you extra.” That got a soft laugh and he stepped back. I found myself staring into blue grey eyes and before I’d even thought about it, I reached up to brush the blonde hair out of his face. “You really need to cut your hair.” That got my hand smacked and an offended look. “I can’t cut it! The fans love my hair!” That set off a whole outburst about people not understanding fashion or what it meant to be a visual band. At least I’d got his mind off the dream and whatever else was upsetting him. I chuckled shaking my head as I left him in the bedroom so he could get dressed. Breakfast was going to be simple. I was too fucking tired to make a big fancy breakfast. Going to bed at two in the morning only to get woke up four hours later was not that fun. I set his plate on the table and sat down to wait on him. When he finally came out I was shocked at how different he looked. He looked every bit the rock star he was, though the timid smile kind of shattered the image. He’d spiked his hair and braided some of the longer strands. Dark eyeliner made the light colored eyes stand out even more. He was wearing his black leather pants that the girls always raved about. I’d had to stop more than one grabby fan from trying to touch him when he wore them. The white button up shirt had yet to be buttoned, showing off the flat stomach and toned chest. I’d give Ito one thing, he was good at looking good. I pointed to the plate. “Made yer breakfast.” “Oh, thanks. You didn’t have to do that.” I shrugged and stood up. “Well, for once there was food in the fridge. You goin’ out today.” “Yeah, I’ve got to meet with one of the producers. I actually forgot to tell you, but . . . I kind of need you to go with me. There is going to be a small press conference later too.” “Nakamara already told me.” In fact I had Ryuu’s schedule for the next month. Ryuu wasn’t exactly forgetful, he just got busy. “Today just started a little early is all.” Ryuu’s eyes flicked up for a second as he sat down. “Yeah, sorry about that. Haven’t had one of those nightmares in months.” I didn’t say anything. If he wanted to talk he would. Going to the fridge I found his juice and got him a can out. He was picking at his food as I set the can down next to his plate. “Am I that bad a cook?” “Oh. No! No, it’s just . . . I’m sorry for making you get up so early. I know you worked last night too.” “Do me a favor and quit fucking apologizing and eat. Next time I’ll just tell you to fuck off.” I smiled at him to show I was kidding and he grinned back at me. “Yeah right. You like the money too much.” “Fuck yeah.”

Kenta I could tell I’d scared him, the way he spun around and backed against the counter the grey eyes wide. Made me feel like shit. I knew how jumpy he could be. What I wasn’t prepared for was to have him suddenly fling himself at me. Not that he didn’t do it that often, I just hadn’t thought a little argument with Akira would set off these kind of tears. I patted his head, stroking his hair as he cried into my t-shirt. I’d come to realize that it calmed him down to have the physical contact. The first few months of working for him had been fucking awkward to say the least. “I should have known . . . I did know . . . I just didn’t think.” Ryuu mumbled his breath hot through the fabric of my t-shirt. I could only assume he was talking about the outfit thing. Akira and Sora had explained why Ryuu had suddenly decided to lock himself in his room at the same time I happened to get to the apartment. “It’s not a big deal, Ryuu. Come on. No reason to cry about it.” “I-I know . . . I just . . . don’t like it when he yells at me.” “Yeah, but you cry when Reiko yells at you too.” “She hits when she yells.” “Fuck yeah. Girl is fucking crazy.” I was glad she wasn’t there to hear me say it. I loved Reiko, but the girl was painful to be around sometimes. God help you if you hurt Akira. You’d be better off cutting off your own balls. “Just, don’t tell her about the outfit.” “No, upset enough with Akira yelling at me, don’t want to get smacked too.” Ryuu finally looked up at me and I felt my heart speed up just a bit as those oddly colored eyes stared at me. “Sorry Kenta. You just get here and I’m being all stupid and emotional.” Grabbing his shoulders I shook him slightly. “What did I say about calling yourself stupid? Quit or I will smack you myself.” Something flickered in his eyes and I felt my stomach drop. I’d seen that look before and it was one I’d never wanted to see again on someone I cared about. The next instant it was gone and he nodded, trying to smile. “I need to go apologize to Akira.” I let him go and stepped out of his way. The slender frame brushed by me and I had the sudden urge to pull him back and make sure he really was alright. Fuck. I rubbed my forehead looking down. What had that look I’d seen been about? I knew where I’d seen it before and that thought scared me shitless. It was my job to keep him safe, safe and happy. I followed him on out into the living room where the other boys were watching a movie. Going to the kitchen I went to see if there were any leftovers. Staring at the empty fridge I knew I shouldn’t be surprised. Hasu might not be any taller than Akira but he ate enough for both of them put together. If he wasn’t eating he was moving or sound asleep. Grabbing out my phone I called the closest carry out and ordered everyone’s favorite things. Akira and Ryuu were still talking when I hung up but things seemed less tense. Ryuu was laughing and smiling again and Akira was gesturing as he described something. Leaning against the counter I watched them for a little bit. The general public had no idea that the members of Bloody Agony were such close friends even outside of work. Ryuu had a lot to do with that. He needed them, just as much as they needed each other. It really was like a little family. While I waited for dinner to arrive, I called Hayate to check on how things were going at the bar. It was a slow night so he told me to stay put. “Daisuike had a bit of a rough day today.” “Oh?” That was unusual. Normally all Daisuike had to do was look at someone to get what he wanted. “Um yeah. From what I heard him and Jiro both got the shit beat out of them.” “What?” I said it too loud and saw the boys look over at me. Turning my back I lowered my voice. I didn't like to involve the band in anything gang related if I could help it. That Akira's brothers ran the gang was enough. “What the fuck happened? Why didn’t they call?” “It went down too fast from what Jiro told me. I guess Ruka is throwing a fit about it though.” I couldn’t say I blamed him. If anyone ever hurt Ryuu . . . I shook my head. It was my job to keep him safe. I’d kill anyone that touched him or any of the boys. “They need anything?” “Nah, though I think Jiro was going to call Akira to come home and help patch them up.” “He ain’t called yet-“ I’d barely got the words out when I heard the distinct ring of Akira’s phone. “Never mind. I gotta go. Talk to you later.” Akira was already on the phone and I frowned watching how pale he suddenly went. “Yeah, yeah I’ll be right there. I gotta go guys. Suke got hurt.” He was already on his feet and headed for the door. The apartment was quiet for a bit after Akira left. Everyone of us knew how close the two brothers where and after almost losing Daisuike a few months ago any little thing scared Akira now. Walking into the living room I put on a movie. I glanced over as Ryuu walked up to me. He glanced up but didn’t hold my eyes for long. “I was . . . just wondering how long you were going to stay tonight?” I looked at him for a moment. “How long do you want me to stay?” A look I’d never seen before crossed his face, but then he glanced away again. “I-I don’t care. I think Sora and Hasu were going to spend the night.” I nodded. That was pretty usual. I knew how much Ryuu hated to be alone. I’d learned pretty quickly that he not only craved attention but needed it. He’d rather skip a meal and do an impromptu signing or meet and greet. If I let him, he’d wear himself to nothing promoting the band. I got the door when the bell rang and took the food thanking the boy. I gave him a generous tip, knowing I’d seen him at another job locally too. I knew what it was like to work multiple jobs just to try to make ends meet. “Hey, foods here guys.” “Oh! You got us food! Sweet! Thanks Kenta!” Hasu, of course, was the first one to the table. He gave me a quick hug, making it impossible to breathe for a moment. The kid was just too fucking strong for his own good. I should know, we sparred with each other on a regular basis. I would seriously get out of shape otherwise and what kind of bodyguard would I be then? Hearing the house phone ring, I frowned and walking over picked it up. The smell of the food was starting to get to me, if I didn’t hurry up Hasu would eat my portion too. He’d already devoured his food and had started on what I’d ordered for Akira. “Ito residence.” “Oh Kenta.” I rolled my eyes hearing Kaori’s trill. “Is my beautiful boy there?” “Yeah, just a sec.” Holding the receiver against my chest I looked around. “Ryuu, it’s your ma.” He jumped up from the table. “Oh! I’m coming.” He smiled at me as he took the phone, his eyes seeming to linger for just a moment. I went back to go see if Hasu had left me any food. “Hey, brat, where is my food.” Hasu looked up at me noddles hanging out of his mouth. He glanced down and had the grace to look sheepish. There were three empty containers around him already. “Sorry.” He pushed the carton toward me and handed over the chopsticks. I handed them back and got my own out. “Fuck Hasu, you ate half of it already. I’m going to kick your ass.” That got me the wide eyed innocent look that he was so famous for. At least it wasn’t fake, usually. I didn’t let it phase me as I stuffed in a mouthful. I waved the now empty chopsticks at him. “Don’t think that look is going to save you. I owe you for last time.” He grinned at me, the cheeky little shit. “Yeah, we’ll see. You said that last time too.” I grunted, shoving in another bite. “Don’t think you know everything about fighting, Hasu. It’s one thing to spar, getting into an actual fight is totally different.” Hasu nodded, his eyes losing some of the innocent sparkle. I could barely hear him when he next spoke. “Yeah, I know.” Clearing my throat I looked around. Sora was sprawled on the couch watching the movie I’d put in, Ryuu had disappeared, probably into the office so he could talk with his mother. “But hey, that’s why we spar right? So we are ready if the time comes.” I didn’t like seeing this subdued side of Hasu. It made me wonder who had fucked with him. A kid as cute and friendly as him shouldn’t have any enemies at all, much less get into fights. He was smarter than me by far and could probably talk his way out of just about any situation. Me . . . I’d rather just get it over with and go on. Words don’t come easy for me. I finished what was left of my dinner and sat back watching him for a moment. He was busy gathering up the empty cartons to throw away. “I probably better get going.” I got up grabbing up my trash. “Jiro might need some help tonight.” Hasu looked up at me. “You might want to tell Ryuu you are leaving. He always gets pouty if you leave without saying anything.” “Oh.” Tossing the cartons I looked down hall, the door to the office was open. “Yeah, I’ll do that.” I poked my head in the office door and grinned seeing him leaning back in the chair, his feet propped up in the desk. The phone was cradled against his shoulder, but he was sound asleep. I could hear the soft murmur of Koari’s voice through the speaker. Walking over, I carefully took the phone laying his head back. “Ito-san, I’m sorry he fell asleep.” I whispered. “Oh,” There was a sigh and a soft laugh from the other end. “I wondered. Thank you for taking such good care of my son, Arakaki-kun. He talks about you all the time.” After telling her good bye I hung up, wondering what she’d meant. Looking down at the sleeping vocalist I shook my head. Why the hell would he talk about me to his mother? Didn’t make a lot of sense to me. Leaning down over him I smiled. “Ryuu, if you are that tired why don’t you go to bed?” His eyelids fluttered for a moment giving the slightest glimpse of grey before closing again. “Will you come with me?”

ok I already figured it out myself. you just have to put all the parts in one folder. the voice didn't work. so you'll have to copy the voice.arc from your new folder with the game in it and put it in the original folder you can find under programm files-> langmaor