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It's the first time I make a poem... I'm not good at this but... I feel so sad now and I don't know what to do.. I tried to write them down and hope me will feel better... Hope you guys won't laugh at me I suddenly cry…in the middle of night I thought a good sleep …could wipe everything I tried to sing…to forget all the sorrow… But it’s useless … the pain gnawing my heart… Do you know…I feel like getting sick… Of what you did..what you acted and said… I wanna escape from this scary feelings I’m sinking in the despair of love… Could you tell or show me just one time?? Cause I can’t find “me” in your eyes… .. I’m standing by yourside at this moment… Now I really know what I’m scared the most It’s being with you but your heart is far…. … lol it's so short but I really don't know what to write more...

Title: Omerta ~Chinmoku no Okite~; オメルタ Omerta ～沈黙の掟～ Release Date: 22 April 2011 Omerta ~Chinmoku no Okite~ オメルタ～沈黙の掟～ is the latest Boys Love game by Karin Entertainment. Plot: Omerta is defined as a code of silence practiced by the Mafia; a refusal to give evidence to the police about criminal activities. Set in future Japan. Film-noir theme. Modern Tokyo is now a dystopian immigrant city ruled by crime syndicates. Stirring passions between hot-blooded men entangled in hatred, love, betrayal and loyalty. They classified it under: Love and Revenge Hard BL Game (PILP) System Requirements: OS： Windows2000/XP/Vista/7 CPU： PentiumIII 600Mhz minimum （PentiumIII 1Ghz recommended） RAM： 256MB min （512MB recommended） HDD： 3．0GB min （4.5GB recommended） DirectX： DirectX 9.0 Download Links:Part 1 contains a .rar file with the patch on it. Join with HJSplit or 7zip Download Omerta ~Chinmoku no Okite~: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 After installing, copy paste the alsignup patch to the game install directory and just click the .exe icon. Note: Extract the files with winrar. Mount the iso with DaemonTools and install the game. Extract the patch (alsignup_100723b.exe) in the folder with the omerta.exe. Then double click on alsignup_100723b.exe *For a picture guide on how to install it, check this post (by ayachan94) *For Omerta's walkthrough (made by sarah3161) click here For download re-upload requests, post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

this shames me, I think I over worked it, I will try again :leaf9:

This is really moving, sad and makes me want to hug you and never let go. So many great lines though. I love the part "I'm sinking in the despair of love" and "Cause I can't find 'me' in your eyes" I hope you write more but not from having to experience it. T__T

Sensitive Pornograph (uncensored) Anime Title: Sensitive Pornograph Written by: Ashika Sakura Genre: yaoi Number of Episodes: 1 - have 2 part Year : 2004 Plot: Part 1 : The story begins with Seiji Yamada (Voiced by: Kenichi Suzumura), a young shonen manga artist, who develops an affair with a fellow mangaka, who writes hentai, named Sono Hanasaki, who is also his favorite artist. The plot-line develops from Yamada mistaking Sono for a girl. After having discovered him to be a boy, Seiji still falls in love with him, and they have an intimate affair. Seiji becomes distraught when he learns of Sono's past tendencies of sleeping around, and for a time the two become separated. However, they eventually reconcile after Seiji learns of the emotional damage Sono has suffered as a result of being abandoned and used only for sex. Part 2 : The second part begins with Ueno, a student in college, who works part-time as a pet sitter, receiving an assignment to take care of a rabbit. Upon arriving at the specified address, looking for a rabbit named Aki-chan, he finds that there is no rabbit. Instead he discovers a young man bound, naked, in a closet, apparently a sex slave to the man who hired Ueno. Aki-chan is chagrined to realize that his lover/master has created a twist on a sexual thrill situation for himself - he has sent strangers to Aki-chan for sex before, but tricking someone into the apartment is a new twist. Aki-chan knows his master wants to watch from a distance while Aki-chan has sex with the duped Ueno. Explaining that his master will get mad if things don't go his way, and may even hurt Ueno, Aki-chan persuades him to have sex to ..... Download Sensitive Pornograph OVA: Download Watch Sensitive Pornograph Online (HD Quality): Sensitive Pornograph Online For download re-upload requests, post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

Togainu no Chi Anime Togainu no Chi (咎狗の血 | true blood) Based on: Nitro+CHiRAL's game Genre: Action Drama Sci-fi Shounen Ai Summary: After being devastated in the third World War (known as The Third Division), Japan was divided in two. Several years after the end of the war, a crime organization called Vischio has taken control of the destroyed city of Toshima (formerly Tokyo, Japan's capital city), where they are holding a battle game known as "Igura". The main character, a young man named Akira, is falsely accused of a crime. Once arrested, a mysterious woman appears before him, offering him freedom if he agrees to participate in Igura and defeat Igura's strongest man: the king, or "Il-re". The story follows Akira's life in the harsh, lawless Toshima as he fights both to survive and to unravel the mysteries developing around him. (Source: Wikipedia) Download Togainu no Chi Anime: Ep 1 Ep 2 Ep 3 Ep 4 Ep 5 Ep 6 Ep 7 Ep 8 Ep 9 Ep 10 Ep 11 Ep 12 For download re-upload requests, post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

Title: Lovely Sick Author/artist: Ohmine Shoko Genre: Yaoi Warnings: Age gap Groups scanlating: Essence of Purity Scanlation status: 2 Volumes (Ongoing) Status in country of origin: 6 Volumes (Ongoing) Year: 2003 Volume 1-2 Volume 3 (Jpn) Volume 4 (Jpn) Volume 5.a (Jpn) Volume 5.b (Jpn) For download re-upload requests, post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

Original name: みちづれポリシー Manga ALT. names: Drang der Herzen, Michidure Policy, The Path to Love, Traveling Companion's Policy, Uten Kekkou Rule Original run: 2008 Description: Shinohara, who liked to take care of others like a mother, and Nishioka, who loved sweet things just like a kid (with big build), were good friends. Shinohara loved Nishioka, but was totally a coward when it comes to love. He always thought that “this love is impossible” and continued to be Nishioka’s good friend when he blurted out his feelings unintentionally. To Shinohara’s surprise, Nishioka accepted him and they started to go out. But Shinohara was having doubts and wouldn’t want to believe in Nishioka. What should Nishioka do? Manga-type: Manga Series Written by: Kitakami Ren Drawn by: Kitakami Ren Published by: Libre Shuppan Group(s) Scanlating: Attractive Fascinante Status: Completed Completely Scanlated: Yes Completely Translated: Yes Genres: Romance, Slice of Life, Yaoi Categories: Co-workers; Love at First Sight; Hidden Feelings Main Characters: Shinohara, Adaptations available: N/A Recommendations: Kissing, Kakko Warukute Kakkoii Kimi, Happy Days, Koi ni Tsuite, Gerbera Read Michizure Policy Online Michizure Policy Download Michizure Policy Manga Download link removed by scanlator's request

Synopsis The story is about a woman who falls into a coma after a car accident. To revive, the Death Scheduler gives her 49 days to convince three people (apart from her parents) to shed genuine/sincere tears for her. To fulfill her mission, she enters the body of another woman. Plot In "49 Days," Shin Ji-Hyun (Nam Gyu-Ri) falls into a coma after a car accident. Making matters all the more tragic, her wedding was right around the corner. Meanwhile, Song Lee-Kyung's (Lee Yo-Won) soul becomes possessed by Shin Ji-Hyun's spirit. Song Lee-Kyung then comes across Han-Kang (Jo Hyeon-Jae), who was Shin Ji-Hyun's first love. If the three people who truly love Shin Ji-Hyun cries for her within 49 days then she will survive. Main Cast Jo Hyeon-Jae - Han-Gang Lee Yo-Won - Song Lee-Kyung Jeong Il-Woo - Angel of Death Nam Gyu-Ri - Shin Ji-Hyun Bae Su-Bin - Shin Ji-Hyun's fiancee Seo Ji-Hye - Shin Eun-Jung Kang Seong-Min omg..i recommended to you to watch it ...it's so nice..

For the lovely and talented JenovaVII (wish the pic was better >

ylover drawin somethin im usin paint, so bear with the bad drawin :msn_red_fox 14

I am glad to hear that ichii_kun We all love you too!foxy2 And you should definitely try to write more! You are so good :hamtaro-005 (6):

“Huh?” Tetsu is suddenly face to face with a very pinchable Haido. How now, brown cow? Hyde wanting to be a vampire in an art show is totally out of place but aren’t vampires artistic too? Hmmmm…I remember reading about this in high school. I know…but if he dresses up as a vampire, what will that make us? A vampire lair? A vampire den? A bat cave? Are we all going to dress up as vampires like him? They might kick us out of the party. Plus I am sooooooooooo not vampire material. loool I like this part the mosttt...... Your fic is cooollll...It interests me so much... Thank you for posting this...*tight hug* and wish you can post more...I still remember your fic "A day of Dai and Mao"...I reallly love it...

lool... all you guys made me feel sooo touchy from the bottom of my heart.... I has received so many sweet praises, many warm consolations and hugs.... How could I say now?? I love you all.... I will try to live well and forget all the bad things .......

Ryuu I couldn’t stop pacing. I could feel Sora’s eyes on me as he sat on the couch. Hayate and Isao had left about thirty minutes ago and Kenta was in my bed resting. “Ryuu . . . he’s okay. He’s just a little banged up.” “I know!” I flung my arms up in frustration. “He has a concussion though. He just goes out for a drink and five guys jump him? What the fucking hell?” Sora shrugged, his voice soft. “It’s part of his job Ryuu. From what Iesada said it was a rival gang and he was on contested territory.” “Its fucking stupid and you know it.” “I’m not arguing with you about it Ryuu. You knew when you hired him that he hadn’t given up being yakuza.” I flopped down on the couch next to him and crossed my arms over my chest. “It’s just so frustrating. I hate seeing him hurt and . . . something else is wrong. He’s even quieter than usual.” “He did say his jaw hurt.” I shot a look at Sora and he held up a hand. “Hey, I’m just saying. Maybe it hurts to talk.” I slumped down, knowing I was pouting and not caring in the least. “We have a concert this weekend. What if he can’t work?” “That’s not all you are worried about.” I laid my head over on Sora’s shoulder, sighing. “No. I’ll go talk to him in a bit.” I never got the chance. He didn’t wake up by the time I was ready for bed, so I just curled up next to him. When I woke up the next morning he was gone. There was a text on my phone telling me breakfast was on the table and that he’d be back in time for dinner. I figured he was trying to get his bike fixed. It was his only means of getting around. He hated taking public transportation. So did I for that matter. Buses are filthy. I sent him a quick text. I’ll make dinner tonight. One came back just as fast. Don’t you fucking dare. I laughed and typed out my response. My kitchen, means I can do what I want in it. It took him a little bit longer to respond but I laughed out loud. God how I loved that man. Jack off instead. That actually sounded like a good idea. Maybe later. I had stuff to get done before I headed out with Sora to go get his birthday present. It was kind of hard to believe that he was going to be turning twenty-one in a few days. I was going to be twenty one next March. That made me wonder when Kenta’s birthday was. Had I already missed it? I would feel horrible if that was the case. I wondered if he was going to be nineteen or twenty. I honestly wasn’t sure. I’d have to go check his paper work. Some boyfriend I am. Can’t even remember his birthday. It took me thirty minutes to find his stuff. I really did not get Reiko’s filing system. June. Wow and he was going to be twenty. So he was younger. He sure as hell didn’t act it. My eyes dropped down the paper and I realized he had no emergency contact. None. No family. Nothing. It caused a soft pain in my chest. The only contact listed was a woman. A Takemitsu Shiori. The number was for a local parole office. His parole officer? That was his only contact? Why hadn’t he at least put Hayate or Isao was an emergency contact? Or even Daisuike? Or me . . . wait that wouldn’t work. If he was with me and there was an emergency that wouldn’t work. Still yet it got me to wondering, not for the first time, just why Kenta had went to juvenile corrections. From what Akira had told me, no one knew for certain. Not even Hayate and Daisuike. He flat out refused to talk about it. Taking a deep breath, I blew it out softly and put the file back. It wasn’t like there weren’t things I didn’t keep from him. It just worried me. Who was this Rame person and why would he have been dreaming about him? From his reaction it had to be something bad. I gasped and clapped a hand over my mouth as a sudden thought hit me. I didn’t get to dwell on it as I heard the front door open. “Hey Ryuu! You decent?” I scrambled to my feet and trotted out to the hallway. “No, but you don’t care.” I grinned at Sora as he just shook his head. “Go put clothes on Ito, you damn exhibitionist.” “Meh, you’re just jealous you don’t look this good naked.” “Short and hairy?” “Oi! I’m not hairy!” I stomped my foot glaring at Sora, though I couldn’t help glancing down. I did have more hair than Kenta, but he didn’t seem to care at all. Though he didn’t like stubble, which I found rather cute. “And everyone is shorter than you. Giant strawberry colored freak.” “Well if you are going to call names I guess I won’t share the food Gramps sent over.” “Ah! Oh! Kenta left me breakfast!” I’d gotten totally sidetracked. Over breakfast Sora and I discussed the upcoming concert and the set list. As always he was concerned about not overtaxing Hasu. The little guy put his heart and soul into drumming and sometimes his blood. Though after he’d passed out onstage during our tour we were a lot more careful about making sure he got breaks and didn’t play until he was too exhausted to move. Reiko got very -very pissed at me if I did more than two encores. Though, obviously the whole band had to agree to do them. Three was our absolute limit. Usually by the third time, we’d just come out and throw free stuff at the fans. Three is pushing it even for me. You put on an hour to two hour show and three encores can make it last another hour more, easy. That’s a fucking long night, as Kenta would put it. Thinking of Kenta reminded me of something else. “Hey Sora . . . you know Kenta went to juvie, right?” “Yeah I heard him and Akira talking about it. Apparently they went to the same one but just missed seeing each other, different cell blocks. Neither of them talk about it much.” “Yeah, he um . . . kind of let a name slip the other day.” Sora raised his eyebrows at me, the deep green eyes inquisitive. “Really? Good slip or bad slip, you seem kind of . . . upset about it.” “Well . . . that was partly my fault. Sora . . . I-I’m afraid he got raped in juvie.” I went on in a rush seeing the shocked expression on his face. “He did say that something had happened, that someone had tried and he’d beat them up but . . . sometimes just the way he acts reminds me of-“ “Us.” I nodded seeing the pain simmering just behind Sora’s eyes. “I’m sorry to bring it up Sora.” He shook his head, the red hair whipping back and forth. “No, we both went through it. If he did too . . . then you know how to help, right? Or did you want me to talk to him.” “I . . . I was kind of hoping you would. From . . . from what he’s said it was a gang . . . “ “Oh . . .” Sora looked down his voice soft. “I see.” “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought it up. I’m sorry Sora.” I jumped up rushing around the table to grab him in a hug. He let me hug him for a moment before gently pushing me away. “It’s okay Ryuu. It’s been a long time since I’ve thought about it honestly.” I sat back down, watching him intently. “Are you sure you’re alright?” “Yeah.” He nodded his eyes on his empty plate. “Just, if he was gang raped, there are a lot of other things involved. It’s not like what happened with you and Naoki.” “I-I know . . . I was there, remember.” His smile was so sad it broke my heart, tears stinging my eyes. “That had to have been so hard for you Ryuu.” I shook my head quickly, wanting to banish those images. “It was horrible. Utterly and completely devastating, Sora. I couldn’t do anything to help you.” He reached across the table and wiped the tear off my cheek. “You tried and that is all that matters, Ryuu. You are the best friend I’ve ever had. You’ve always been there for me. If you want me to approach Kenta about it I will. Therapy has done wonders for me and maybe he’ll benefit from it too. You know how much you improved after you went. Even after the stuff with Naoki. I promise it will help him if he goes.” “I hope so. Sometimes he just seems so . . . lost and alone even when he’s right next to me.” We spent the rest of the morning talking about less tragic subjects, which I was happy about. Sometimes those things needed to be discussed. I’d had a few people over the years ask why Sora and I had never got together, considering how close we are. It’s simple. I could never, ever do anything sexual with him. Not after what happened to him . . . to us. I love Sora, but he is more of my brother than anything. I wouldn’t have it any different. He was playing a video game when Akira, Reiko and Hasu got in from school. Then it was time to practice. Honestly this was my favorite time of day, other than spending time with Kenta. To get to be with my friends and make music together, there is nothing better. Except being with Kenta. Nothing came close to that.

Kenta I spent the rest of the day tracking down the rest of the leads. Oddly things were starting to point back to the gay bar. “Yeah, the owner was complaining that one of the customers keeps roughing up his escorts.” I frowned listening to the bartender as I sipped at my coke. No rum, unlike Suke. Can’t stand the stuff. This guy was pretty good. I didn’t put the flourishes into my pouring like he did. Maybe if I did I’d get better tips. Or tips at all. Reiko was about the only person that fucking tipped me. “Got a name?” “Nah, you know how they are about client confidentiality.” “What?” “Confidentiality, you know . . . privacy?” “Oh . . . yeah that makes sense.” He shook his head at me a strange look on his face and went back to wiping out glasses. “Anyway, if you need info that bad you should talk to the escorts.” “Fuck no.” “What? You got something against fags?” He raised an eyebrow at me and I almost laughed in his face. “No. Not exactly.” I set my drink down looking at it for a moment. “You heard anything about a guy named Obuchi Rame?” He set the glass down carefully, his eyes narrowing slightly. “Word has it that he made parole.” “Yeah I’d heard that too. Anyone saying anything?” “Not yet but . . . he was only out of juvie for a month before he violated his parole last time.” I grunted. I knew that much. “Yeah, he went to the big boy prison after that.” “What’s your connection with him?” I picked my coke up and took a long slow drink before setting it down and looking up at the man. “He was my cell mate in juvie.” “Oh . . . Oh! Shit man I had a buddy who was in with you guys. Oda? He said that fucker had a sadistic streak, tried to rape his cellmate and almost got gutted. That wasn’t you . . . was it?“ “It wasn’t like that.” Better lie now or my rep was shot to hell and back. “We didn’t get along and I ended up in isolation after a fight with him. The gutting part’s right.” “Shit man.” He shook his head focusing on the pitcher he was filling with beer. He handed it off to a waiter and looked back at me. “So what are you doing out here? Don’t like your new job?” “Huh?” “The bodyguard thing.” “Oh, no that’s easy. The band is fun. They are the biggest fucking dorks you’ve ever met for being rock stars. It’s all the crazy ass fan girls that get on my nerves. Sometimes I think being a yakuza is safer.” He laughed at that and we talked for a bit longer about nothing much. I’d just finished my coke and was getting ready to pay when his eyes narrowed as he looked up and over my shoulder. I instantly tensed, my hand sliding down to my hip, my fingers brushing over the sheath were my knife was hidden. He slowly inclined his head while at the same time moving away from me. “You might want to move.” I spun around, crouching low. An arm swept through the air where I had been just a second ago. I had a quick glance at a dark suit with a white shirt. Lashing out I slammed my fist into his side. He fell back but there were three more waiting. Four dark suits and then I spotted the cream colored suit behind them. Shit. Another gang? But who? No time. I side stepped a lunge but that brought me within range of the other guy. I blocked the punch and landed one of my own. He grunted and staggered back crashing into a table. “Oi!!! Take it outside shit heads!” Like there was time for that. Who the fuck were these guys? Most gangs knew better than to just attack a Kobayashi. I dodged a fist while knocking down a kick aimed at my stomach. Shit! These guys weren’t fighting fair. At this rate . . . fuck! I tried to move back but the bar was in the way. A foot slammed into my chest and I bounced off the bar and directly into a punch. Shit that hurt, my back throbbing as I tried to take a breath. Flinging up an arm, I tried to block the next punch only to realize too late it was a distraction as I was tackled from the side. Stars burst all around me as my head cracked against the bar. After that I didn’t feel a whole lot, just vague impressions of movement and the sound of voices. Then someone was hauling me up and I blinked several times realizing I was being drug outside. Fuck! I tried to pull away and to my complete horror I was bodily picked up and thrown over someone’s shoulder, a bony shoulder that cut into my stomach and made breathing even more difficult. “Oi! What the hell are you doing?” That was the bartender. What did he care? Fuck this hurt. I couldn’t even find the strength to lift my head. It was pounding so hard it was making me dizzy. Then we were outside. The sudden brightness too much, I squeezed my eyes shut and just tried to breathe. “He out?” “Not sure.” “Put him down here.” I was dumped on the ground and then propped against a wall. I really wished I could fucking snap out of it. I wanted to rip these guys apart. “You sure this is the right guy? He’s kinda small to be-“ “No it’s him. See.” There were fingers on my arm and it was lifted, my sleeve pulled back. The small dragon tattoo on the inside of my wrist was the only one I had. “Kobayashi’s crest. He’s one of their enforcers. Boss’ description of him was dead on too.” Boss? So it was another gang. I choked as water was suddenly splashed in my face. Oddly it seemed to snap me out of the daze I’d been in. “I’m gonna fucking kill you fuckers.” I glared up at them, and forced myself to my feet, using the wall for support. There were five of them. Four dark suits and the cream. They all had their hair slicked back and dark glasses on. It was the police batons and brass knuckles that caught my attention more than anything. Cream suit stepped forward and taking his glasses off looked down his fat nose at me. “We are just delivering a message. Stay in your territory and back off the questions.” “Fuck you.” He smirked at me. “No, I think it would be the other way around.” He stepped forward and before I could move had grabbed me around the neck. He slammed me back against the wall. “You will lay off or I’ll tell Obuchi where to find you.” Something must have showed on my face cause he laughed. A low nasty sound. “Yeah . . . didn’t think you’d like that. He’s looking for you, ya know.” I felt my eyes widen. A very different kind of weakness hit me and breathing was suddenly much harder than it should have been. Just thinking about him had my heart pounding. He was looking for me? Then Ryuu was in serious danger. Fat nose was still talking. “So, just stick to following around those fags you work for in that band and stop with all the questions.” I grabbed his wrist and twisted sharply, ripping his hand off my neck. He yelped and had to turn to keep me from snapping his wrist. “They ain’t fags and if you know whose got it out for them you better fucking tell me before I break your fucking arm.” “I ain’t telling you shit, cocksucker!” I twisted harder and then with my foot shoved him into the two guys who were coming up fast. There was a short scuffle, too short and ended with me bleeding on the pavement. Fuck I was not having a good day. *** “Kenta . . . come on man . . . Kenta! Shit!” What was Hayate so pissed about? “Fuck! Isao I’m going to need your help.” I was being lifted. What the fuck was going on? I’d had enough of being carried around today. “Shit Kenta you need to eat more. Never mind Isao, I’ve got him. Did you find his bike?” “Yeah both tires are slashed and somebody keyed the shit out of the paintjob.” “Fuck.” I got my eyes open. “Finally!” Hayate was looking down at me his eyebrows nearly meeting over his nose. “Shit man, who fucked you up?” “Put me the fuck down.” It hurt to talk, my jaw throbbing in time with my heart beat. I didn’t like that as soon as he put me down I felt like I was going to fall right back on my ass. “Some stupid gang thought they could imitate me.” “You mean intimidate.” I glared at Isao. Why did he always have to correct me? “Yeah whatever.” “Intimidate you. Why?” I shrugged and winced. My shoulder was sore too. Probably from slamming into the wall. “Guess they didn’t like me drinking in their bar. What the hell are you doing here anyway?” “The bartender called Jiro, said you’d gotten taken down and drug out. He sent us over to check on you. Good thing we did. You look like shit, Arakaki.” I looked away from Isao feeling like he was looking right though me. “We’ll load up your bike in my truck and take you home. You got money for new tires?” “Yeah. Just take me to Ryuu’s.” I watched while the two of them got my bike loaded into the back of Isao’s Nissan. I was going to kill those guys next time I saw them. It was going to cost me the next months pay to fix my bike.

A rabbit and a wild boar? And the boar is in love with the rabbit? hahaha They are very cute! Mine:

Ryuu I woke in a slight panic. Kenta hadn’t come home last night . . . or rather this morning. I’d stayed up as late as I could but had finally crashed out on my bed. I went to sit up and realized I was no longer laying on top of the covers and something was weighing them down beside me. My eyes widened and I gasped softly seeing Kenta asleep beside me. He was lying on his stomach, the pillow bunched up under his head. Slowly, almost afraid to touch him, I moved the strand of hair covering his eyes. He looked so peaceful and it made my chest ache looking down at him. My relief was so profound it almost made me cry. He was here. Here beside me. Snuggling back under the covers I curled up next to him, just watching him sleep. His hair was still wet and he smelled of my shampoo. I couldn’t stop myself from sliding my hand along the smooth contours of his back and was a little surprised to find that he was only wearing boxers. He never went to bed without wearing both boxers and pajama pants and socks usually. At least he never had when he’d stayed over before. It was entirely too tempting and I wondered if he’d done it on purpose. Why else would he come to bed mostly naked? Licking my lips I moved closer shivering as my erection brushed the smooth skin of his leg. Sliding my hand further down I rested it on his lower back, just above the waistband, waiting to see if there was any reaction. He didn’t so much as twitch. Grinning to myself I slipped my hand lower under the fabric. His skin was so warm and still a little damp from his shower and I wondered how long he’d been asleep. Looking up at his face, there was still no change, his breathing as deep and regular as ever. He wasn’t as heavy a sleeper as Akira but he slept pretty soundly. Maybe I could surprise him. I wasn’t sure why, but I was feeling mischievous and dying to hear that voice again. Sliding my hand down further, I shivered lightly, my skin prickling in anticipation as my finger tip brushed over the area. I froze as he moved his leg a soft murmur coming from the full lips. He’d actually given me better access with the way he’d brought his knee up. I smirked and slid down along the slim form. Why did he have to have such an exquisite body? He was all smooth skin and perfectly sculpted muscle, the odd scar, but that just added interest. I wondered why he never got a tattoo like Jiro or Daisuike. I’d thought that was part of being part of the clan, but part of me was happy that he hadn’t yet. Maybe it meant it would be easier for him to leave it. Leaning down I kissed the smooth skin of his hip as I pulled the boxers lower. He smelled so good. Just the natural smell of him was enough to comfort me . . . or arouse me as the case was now. I resisted the urge to bite that smooth perfect rear, it was just so tempting it was actually making my mouth water. Instead I wet one of my fingers and slid it over his entrance. I wasn’t actually going to do anything, I more just wanted to see if I could wake him up, maybe if he still wanted to continue once he was . . . It slid in without so much as a sound and I shivered thinking about how incredible it had been to have him under me. He was just so tight, even now. I slowly worked my finger in and out and was slightly surprised to hear a low moan. Oh my god . . . I needed to record him sometime. I couldn’t . . . I had to have him. I didn’t want to wait any longer. Leaning up I felt around for the condoms and lube but only found the lube. Damn it. It would have to do for now. I shuddered gasping as I spread the lube over my erection making sure to use plenty. Working my finger around a few more times I slid it out. Crawling up over him I kissed his shoulder. Never had I felt so aroused by a lover. Maybe it was that I felt more connected to him emotionally than I ever had to anyone else. Slowly, gently I pressed against him unable to bite back the moan as I slipped inside. It wasn’t as difficult as it had been last time though it was still extremely tight. He was totally relaxed this time, unlike last time, and I was able to completely enter that incredible warmth. I had to stop once I was fully inside or risk coming right then. I hadn’t got it fully in yesterday, he’d just been too tight. The feel was unreal, the tight heat surrounding my whole length. It was like the heat from his body set my blood on fire, the rush shooting through me. I felt him tense suddenly, his body jerking. “No! Rame! No!” I gasped softly my elation evaporating. Who was Rame? Before I could move Kenta was twisting around the dark eyes blinking rapidly. His voice seemed a bit off, too high pitched and almost scared sounding. “What the fuck . . . Ryuu?”

. . . I will do a better one soon, I promise.

Title : Tonari ni Iru no ni, Tooi English Translation: You're right by my side, yet so far away. Author : Minase Masara Year: 2008 Status : Ongoing Genre : Romance, Yaoi Plot: Nagisa's good friend, Igarashi Taiga, is the popular guy at their university. After being compared to Taiga as a lover, Nagisa keeps wondering and questions Taiga, who demonstrates his skills with a hot kiss... What will come after that? Read Tonari ni Iru no ni, Tooi Online: Tonari ni Iru no ni, Tooi Download Tonari ni Iru no ni, Tooi: Complete For download reupload requests, please post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

Title: Just Friends? (친구 사이?) CHINGU SAI? Country: South Korea Synopsis: Min-soo is on leave from the military and visits his boyfriend Seok-yi. While having fun out on the town, they run into Min-soo mother! When the Min-soo's mother asks about their relationship, Min-soo replies "... just friends." Watch Just Friends? BL Movie Online: Just Friends? Download Just Friends? BL Movie: Megaupload (Raw) Mediafire Links (English Subbed, flv format, but the quality is quite good) Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 For download re-upload requests, post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

TITLE: Antique Cake Store アンティーク ～西洋骨董洋菓子店～ Antique COUNTRY: Japan EPISODES: 11 episodes; 44-57 min/ep SYNOPSIS: This is a confectionary with a "flavor" not like most. Located in the middle of an ordinary residential area, "Antique" stays open until 2 a.m. Every single thing in the shop is antique, in fact even the sherry glasses that water comes in look like they would cost 50,000 yen. On top of this, all the sweets that are sold are unbelievably delicious. The thing that is most peculiar about "Antique" though is that all 4 of the men that work here are very handsome, and each has an interesting past. The series follows the romance, family life, and most importantly friendship that these 4 men from different generations experience. Download Antique Cake Store BL Movie Ep 01 Ep 02 Ep 03 Ep 04 Ep 05 Ep 06 Ep 07 Ep 08 Ep 09 Ep 10 Ep 11 For download re-upload requests, post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

Alternative Titles: Bokura no Ai no Kanade, 僕らの愛の奏で Director: Kusano Yoka Year of Release: 2008 Country: Japan Subs: xSayaPinkyx Duration: 70 min Genre: Drama Synopsis: Maki is a young gay music student who's completely smitten with his classmate Ruiku, who plays piano with incredible passion but is cold and distant to everyone. Maki decides to do whatever it takes to get Ruiku to return his feelings. Watch Bokura no Ai no Kanade BL Movie Online: Bokura no Ai no Kanade Download Bokura no Ai no Kanade BL Movie: Link For download re-upload requests, post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

Betrayal Knows My Name Anime Title: Uragiri wa Boku no Namae o Shitteiru, Betrayal Knows My Name, 裏切りは僕の名前を知っている Genre: Adventure, Fantasy, Drama, Shoujo, Shounen Ai Author: Odagiri Hotaru Subs: CrunchySubs Format: avi Size: 140 - 180 Mb/ep Summary: Sakurai Yuki is an orphaned high-school student who lives in an institute for the handicapped. Yuki, who possesses a special ability which sometimes allows him to read the thoughts of those he touches, is searching for a meaning to his existence. One day, a familiar young man, Zesu, appears before him. Zesu informs Yuki that he must leave on Walpurgis Night. From that moment onwards, Yuki finds himself in the midst of numerous mysterious incidents, dragged into a millenium-long war involving the demons known as Duras. Watch Betrayal Knows My Name Anime Online: Betrayal Knows My Name Download Betrayal Knows My Name Anime: Uraboku - 01 (avi) Mediafire Uraboku - 02 (avi) Mediafire Uraboku - 03 (avi) Mediafire Uraboku - 04 (avi) Mediafire Uraboku - 05 (avi) Mediafire Uraboku - 06 (avi) Mediafire Uraboku - 07 (avi) Mediafire Uraboku - 08 (avi) Mediafire Uraboku - 09 (avi) Mediafire Uraboku - 10 (avi) 4Shared Uraboku - 11 (avi) Mediafire Uraboku - 12 (avi) Mediafire Uraboku - 13 (avi) Mediafire Uraboku - 14 (avi) Mediafire Uraboku - 15 (avi) Mediafire Uraboku - 16 (avi) Mediafire Uraboku - 17 (avi) Mediafire Uraboku - 18 (avi) Mediafire Uraboku - 19 (avi) Mediafire Uraboku - 20 (avi) Mediafire Uraboku - 21 (avi) Mediafire Uraboku - 22 (mkv) Mediafire Uraboku - 23 (mkv) Mediafire For download re-upload requests, post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

Warning: this poem is for 18+ I hope you enjoy

English not my native language and please forgive my future grammar mistakes.

So cute!!! I find your drawings very beautiful and unique! :5yoyo34: Can't wait for more! :hamtaro-005 (8):

. .warm welcome hugz emmzichan foxy3 . .just be comfortable here, everyone here is friendly, just hang out with us (hang out???, lol ), join forum discussions or "knock on the chatroom", if you want someone to talk to (lol ), and we'll open the door for you even the window, nyahahaha rabbit6

Hello! I wanted to say hi and wish you welcome here! onion3

Cloudy Signature soooo cute

I love your poem so much!!! It is so touchy and romantic! :Red_fox7: We all love you too Ichii_kun

Omg I love it Ichii_kun!!! It was really good! That was your first poem? It seems like you always knew how to write poems It was so beautiful I'm sorry that you are feeling that way though I hope you feel better foxy3

I love the poem a lot! :leaf3: I can understand how you feel, cause I also cried many nights when I was hurt by my ex boyfriend! Try to forget and cheer up! Time mends everything! Hope that after writing it, you felt better! rabbit14

u are very welcome....ur story helped me laugh n release my stress.... kyaaa...reading diz on my exam week is fun....:msn_red_fox 6

. .i'm complaining about this hatred i felt, woooooooooooooooooh! (why should i feel this way towards her?) rabbit11 . .cloudy hate her sister-in-law :msn_red_fox 12 . .cloudy must add more patience :5yoyo32:

Ryuu He stiffened and suddenly was shoving me away. I sat up, my heart beating a little too fast. Was he upset with me? He got up, took one step and promptly collapsed. I jumped up ready to help. “Kenta! Are you alright?” “I’m going to fucking beat you Ryuu.” I sank back in the bed at the low growl a sudden ache blossoming in my chest, my body numb. “Don’t ever wake me up like that again.” “H-hai.” I tried to keep the tremble out of my voice. I’d fucked up big time letting my emotions get the better of me. It was just . . . I wanted to be with him, wanted to give him that kind of pleasure. Deep down I knew I’d been selfish, taking without asking. A nasty little voice in the back of my head kept telling me that it was fine, he’d enjoyed it even if he was complaining now, didn’t I deserve to get to have that kind of pleasure too? I shook my head trying to silence it. No. It was wrong of me. I should never have taken advantage of him like that. That was something Naoki would have done. Even if I’d thought he wanted it, I should have woke him first and made sure. Kenta had got back to his feet and was wobbling in the direction of the bathroom. I felt my throat tighten. I hadn’t even made sure he was alright from yesterday. What kind of person was I? Was I really that self serving and self centered? I had to make it up to him somehow. Flinging back the covers I jumped out of the bed, following him into the bathroom. I cringed hearing him hiss in pain as he bent to start the tub. Going over to the cabinet under the sink I got a couple of washcloths. I turned back to see him looking at me, a guarded expression on his face. I looked down at the tile. “Ken-“ “Go back to bed Ryuu.” I shook my head. “I’m sorry. It was selfish of me and I’m sorry. Are you alright?” “No I am not.” I bit my lip hard enough there was a slight metallic tang on my tongue. I’d hurt him. My beautiful, caring, sweet Kenta and I’d hurt him. Could I be any more horrible? I was despicable, utterly and completely. I was no better than Naoki. “Ryuu . . .” A soft sob slipped free and I desperately tried to get myself back under control. I needed to take care of him not stand around crying like some whiny bitch. “Ryuu, you didn’t hurt me, well . . . not that much. That’s not what I was talking about. Where did you hear the name Rame?” I slowly lifted my head, afraid to meet those devastatingly beautiful eyes. That name upset him? All the more reason to know who it was then. I managed to get myself back under control. “You . . . when . . . um just before you woke up you said ‘no Rame’. It shocked me a bit.” Those dark eyes bored into me for what seemed like an eternity before he grunted and turned away. “He was my cellmate in juvie for a while.” “Oh . . . did he-“ “Drop it Ito.” There was no room for discussion when he used that tone. He was not going to talk about it and nothing I said was going to change that. I nodded slowly and walking over took his arm and helped him into the tub. He sighed, his eyes closing as he laid back. I dipped the cloth in the water and gently ran it over his shoulders and chest. He twitched slightly and opened his eyes. “Just relax. I’m sorry about what I did. It was unfair of me. I should have woke you.” “You are fucking lucky I didn’t knock the shit out of you.” I nodded, my eyes suddenly stinging. I quickly wiped at them hearing a soft knock on my bedroom door. “Sorry the guys must be here.” Kenta grunted. “What time is it anyway?” I glanced around. “Oh . . . eleven.” “Eleven? In the morning? Fuck Ryuu, you barely let me sleep an hour.” “Oh . . . I-I’m sorry. You can go back to bed if you want.” Leaving him the rag I grabbed myself a pair of pants and pulled them on. He really was mad at me. There was no mistaking it. It made me feel sick, a cold ache in my stomach. I opened the door and slipped out of the room, closing the door softly behind me. Sora was walking down the hall away from me, but turned back. “Hey, I wasn’t sure if you were up yet.” Sora’s smile instantly faded as he looked at me. “What’s wrong?” I looked down, not sure if I should say anything. Sora was one of my very best friends, but for the first time I didn’t want to say anything. I was simply too ashamed of what I’d done. “Nothing, just didn’t sleep too well. Kenta just got home a little bit ago.” “Oh, sorry for getting you up then.” I shook my head and then had to brush the hair out of my face. “No, I needed to get up. I’m going to go get some breakfast.” Kenta slept most of the rest of the day. Everyone was over and we were all sitting in the studio discussing how to fix one of the songs we were having trouble with. I looked up as the door opened, Kenta poking his head in. “Hey Kenta! You woke up!” Hasu jumped up, walking over to him. “Can we spar tomorrow? I’ve got some free time.” Kenta opened the door fully and stepped inside. His eyes flickered over to me for just a moment and then he was smiling at Hasu. “Sorry, I gotta work.” “Oh . . . maybe another day then.” “Sure.” Kenta ruffled his hair affectionately and I was shocked at the stab of jealousy. What was wrong with me?

Thank you so much everyone, I really appreciate all the feedback, so thank you! @ Brohne: I haven't had so much time to draw lately, but I will post more as soon as I have time to make more @Taki Reizen: Thank you The 3rd picture your talking about, I did get inspired from Haru wo Daiteita, so it makes me happy that you think its in the same style, since I just love that manga so much, and the way the characters are drawn :valentine223:

Oooooh!!! thank you so much for reading my sweet! and I LOVE your emoticons. so cute. I should try using one of those myself rabbit8 rabbit4 I'm so happy you loved this and made you laugh. I really enjoyed writing this. rabbit16

Kenta We stayed and watched the sun rise. Actually, the sun rose while we were making out. Ryuu got off the bike and was leaning against me while I sat on it. As usual I lost all track of what was going on around me, the only thing that existed was his lips on mine, the way his tongue stroked my mouth. The slight fuzz around his mouth where he hadn’t shaved tickled my lips and face. I finally sat back running the back of my hand over my tingling lips. “You need to shave.” He laughed, his head going back. The first rays of sunlight caught in the blond hair making it seem to glow. He looked absolutely stunning and something seemed to clench around my heart as I looked at him. It had scared me so fucking bad when I’d seen him collapse on the stage. I’d been ready to kill whoever was responsible. His eyes were more silver than gray as he looked at me. A hand came up, his fingers caressing my jaw. His thumb ran along my bottom lip sending a shiver down my spine. “You don’t seem to have the same problem.” I swatted his hand away. I could not shave for weeks and never have a single hair appear. Then again I was fully Japanese, he wasn’t. From what I knew my father had never been able to grow more than a few thin wisps of hair on his chin. “Don’t be a jerk.” “Ha! That’s usually my line.” He leaned close again and kissed the tip of my nose. “Actually I wish I didn’t have to shave. It’s annoying.” A hand slid from my hip to my thigh, the warmth sending a rush through me. It had been over two weeks since the last time we’d been together and I wondered if he was as anxious as I was. Sora had interrupted last time. Really needed to remember to lock the door next time. We’d been together almost two months and had only managed to find time to be together a few times. It was hella frustrating and coming from someone who’d went years without having sex that was saying a lot. “Besides, I like how smooth you are, all over.” His lips brushed mine as he spoke and I couldn’t help but lean forward wanting more. Needing more. Just needing him. We finally broke apart to catch our breath. I looked over his shoulder at the sunrise. The giant reddish orange sun was making everything glow with an orange hue. “Ryuu . . . it’s dawn, we should probably head home.” “Oh, oh wow, yeah.” Ryuu yelped softly and clung to me shivering as a sudden breeze kicked up off the ocean. It was November after all. Gotta expect it to get colder. Taking off my jacket I gave it to Ryuu. He started to protest and I gave him a hard look. I would have protection from the windshield and the heat from the engine to keep me warm, he wouldn’t have anything but my body heat and that wasn’t going to be enough. Couldn’t risk him getting sick. I wondered what they’d done with his concert outfit at the hospital. Maybe Reiko had got it. It was fucking stupid of them to send him home in just a t-shirt, jeans and his boots. “Lets get home, I’m hungry.” He pulled his helmet back on and swung up behind me, his arms wrapping tightly around my middle. The soft smell of him and the leather surrounded me and I couldn’t help smiling. Ryuu I wondered why we hadn’t done this sooner. At first I’d been scared of getting on the bike, but the opportunity to be pressed up against that amazing body was too good to pass up. I wasn’t disappointed even if I was freezing. Not only was there the thrill of speeding through the streets, but I got to hold Kenta just as tightly as I wanted. The beach was a surprise and extremely romantic, though I don’t think he thought of it that way. I still loved it. It was these little moments with him that seemed to make my heart glow within my chest. Just when I thought I knew him he did something totally unexpected and sweet. I had really anticipated him being upset with me about what had happened at the concert but he seemed more worried than anything. It all seemed distant now and I really wished we’d been able to spend the rest of the day on that beach even if all we’d done was make out. I smirked to myself as we headed back home. The early morning traffic was light and I casually slipped my hand down to the front of his jeans, palming him. I felt him stiffen and a hand grabbed my wrist pulling my arm back up around his waist. Oh . . . so that’s how it was going to be. Well I was not going to be deterred. Every chance I got I slipped my hand down, lightly stroking him through his jeans. By the third time he was getting harder, the bulge in his pants more pronounced. He shifted back, that amazingly tight ass moving against me, making me bite my lip. Oh this was too much fun. I could have got off just rubbing up against him. I would wait though, I had plans. I was glad for the helmet as a laugh slipped free. He owed me, or at least I’d let him think that. I knew exactly what I wanted too. I already had it all planned out in my head. I just hoped he didn’t object. I wasn’t going to pressure him, but I knew he’d enjoy it once we got started. At least I knew we wouldn’t be interrupted today. Everyone else was going to be sleeping most of the day. We would too, but after. I hugged the slim frame to me as we took a corner. We had been in Kobe for a little while and the traffic was getting heavier as morning commuters headed to work. I would never be sorry I was not one of them. I knew I was ill suited to office life. Maybe I was a bit pampered and selfish, but I was happy. I did work hard at my music and making my fans happy. Though after last night, I probably wouldn’t get as close to them as I had been. It made me sad to think that someone would do that to me and I didn’t understand why. I shook off the feeling. I was not going to think about that right now. I wanted to enjoy being with Kenta, not mope over stupid things. The ride was over entirely too quickly. We pulled into the garage under the apartment building and Kenta found a secluded spot to park so that no one could see the two of us. He was always looking out for me, even in these little things. I got off the bike first, surprised at how hot the engine was. I guessed that the heat had been sucked away by the cold wind as we’d driven. I was extremely happy he’d given me his jacket to wear. Outside of his bike it was his one other prized possession and he’d just shared both with me. It made me feel like our relationship had reached a new level. I grabbed his wrist and started toward the elevator. I wanted him out of those clothes and naked on my bed. I wasn’t sure if it was an after affect from the sedative, but I was hyper and very horny. We kissed all the way up to my floor. Calling it kissing might be a bit tame. There was a strange urgency to it, not something I expected from Kenta, but to feel him slowly starting to let go made me bolder. He was usually so reserved, so in control and I wanted to see him really, truly let go. To surrender completely to his emotions.

Ryuu “God damn it Ryuu! Why didn’t you watch where you were?” “I’m sorry.” I winced putting a hand to my head. I still felt dizzy, my head pounding. Kenta’s arms tightened around me and I could feel him shaking slightly with the strain of carrying me. “Put me down, I can walk.” “No.” It was a low growl. I struggled weakly in his grip. “Put me down! I have to finish the concert.” “No, Nakamara already announced it was over. You were on the encore anyway.” “Ryuu! Kenta! Is he alright?” “I’m fine.” “Are you sure?” I looked up to see Sora peering down at us. His spikes were starting to wilt from the humidity and he looked flushed. I could hear Hasu and Akira but couldn’t see them. “I’m sure. Kenta is just being overprotective.” I yelped as fingers pinched my arm. “Kenta! That hurt!” “You are not fine. You collapsed on stage.” “I just got dizzy all the sudden. That’s all.” “Ryuu, you were passed out cold when I picked you up.” I looked at Kenta, meeting the dark eyes for a moment. “Really?” He rolled his eyes. “You think I’d be carrying your ass around otherwise?” I was surprised to see Hiro’s giant bulk towering outside the dressing room door. He winked at me as he opened the door. “Ito-sama. Kenta.” “Thanks Hiro.” Kenta edged through the door and finally let me down. He glared up at me for a moment before turning back to the door. He moved to the side as Sora, Hasu and Akira walked in. Everyone looked sweaty and tired. Hasu came up to me and put a hand on my arm, his large dark eyes peering up at me. “Ryuu . . . are you sure you’re alright.” “I feel better now, the dizziness seems to be fading but my head hurts.” “Well . . . you probably hit it when you fell.” “I . . . yeah I guess.” There were suddenly hands in my hair and I winced as fingers found the knot. “Ow! Stop it!” I swatted the hand away and looked up to see Kenta glaring down at me. “Why did you get dizzy in the first place?” I looked at him for a long moment but finally had to break the intense gaze. “I-I’m not sure. I felt fine earlier.” “Ryuu . . . you need to tell him.” I didn’t look up at Hasu. “Ryuu it could be important.” “Tell me what.” My chin was suddenly grabbed and I found myself staring into deep pools of obsidian. I blinked a couple of times but the fingers tightened when I tried to pull away. “What did you do Ryuu?” “I . . . I . . . took a water bottle from one of the fans.” “What!” I fell back against the couch as Kenta shoved me. “What the fuck were you thinking Ryuu? Are you that fucking stupid?” The sudden stabbing pain in my chest rendered me speechless. I looked down at the matted beige carpet. I knew it was stupid, but I’d been caught up in the excitement. I’d only taken one quick drink of it before leaving it on the stage. I couldn’t remember now if it had already been opened or not. Leaning forward I ran a trembling hand over my face. “Kenta I-“ “Shut the fuck up.” Kenta snapped making me flinch, a soft gasp escaping. “I’ll be back later.” The sound of the door slamming made me jump. It seemed to break whatever control I’d had. Slumping over on the couch I buried my face in the cushions. *** “He still hasn’t moved.” “Do you think he passed out again?” “No.” I could hear everyone’s hushed voices. It was annoying. I had no idea how long I’d been laying there trying to avoid thinking about anything. Why was I so stupid? Even Reiko had came in and yelled at me. “They found it. One of the stage hands had it. He set it to the side since it was different from the usual bottles. Reiko is taking to have it tested now.” I raised my head slightly hearing Isao’s voice. They’d called him too? Fuck. I went to push myself up off the couch and realized I couldn’t. What was going on? There was a rush of dizziness and suddenly I was on my back looking up at the ceiling. “Ryuu! Are you alright?” I blinked a few times trying to get things to focus. Sora and Hasu were hovering over me and I heard someone yelling for Kenta. “Call an ambulance! He’s not responding.” What were they talking about? I could hear and see them just fine. I reached up to touch Hasu who had tears in his eyes. Nothing happened. My arm didn’t move. In fact nothing was moving. I knew I was still breathing and I could feel my heart racing, but other than that it was like I was asleep and dreaming. Kenta suddenly appeared behind Hasu, his face completely blank. Just once couldn’t he pretend to be concerned, just let the mask slip a little. “Hiro is calling the ambulance. What happened? He was fine when I left.” “I don’t know.” Hasu looked at me, tears streaming down his cheeks. “He was just laying there. I thought he was mad and just not talking. Oh Ryuu! I’m sorry.” He was sorry? What was he sorry for? “Kenta! I found the girl! The one who gave him the drink.” Kenta got up and I had a fleeting glimpse of that toned rear before he was gone. I wanted to smash my head into something solid. Why had I been so stupid? Now everyone was upset and worried. Hasu was crying softly beside me while Sora stroked his hair. It was only a few moments later when Kenta reappeared. “Stupid bitch. It was ruffies. I already called security. The police are going to pick her up. Are you sure he only drank a little of it. Where is the bottle? Call Reiko now!” There was a slight commotion and I heard someone exclaim. “I just got a hold of her. Half the bottle is gone.” No, there was no way I drank that much of it. Was there? “Half the fucking bottle? Shit! Ryuu.” Kenta was looking down at me now and I could see the mask starting to slip, it didn’t give me any satisfaction to see the worry in his eyes. I wanted so badly to pull him against me and hold him, to make this odd chilled sensation go away. I blinked and it seemed like everyone disappeared only to be replaced by medics. I was placed on a gurney and strapped down, the panic seemed to subside a bit, replaced by nausea. As we headed into the hallway I could hear raised voices. “If you’d been doing your fucking job, this wouldn’t have happened! Didn’t you see him get handed the bottle? How did she get close enough to do that anyway?” I would recognize Nakamara’s voice anywhere, but who was he yelling at? As our manager I’d heard him yell a lot but usually not at the staff. “I was standing where I always do. I didn’t see anyone get close enough . . .“ Kenta! He was yelling at Kenta? I’d never heard Kenta sound like that. He sounded so . . . distressed, a slight tremor to his voice that sent a stab of pain through me. “You’re too fucking short. Next time Hayate and Hiro will take the stage, you just stay backstage and out of the fucking way. You aren’t good for anything but keeping the idiot happy.”

Ryuu I closed my phone for what felt like the hundredth time. I’d already taken a nice hot bath and gotten dressed for the concert and still they weren’t back. What was Yoshiru up to, taking off with Kenta like that. Looking at the food I’d ordered well over an hour ago, I blew out a frustrated breath. I was too nervous to eat. I jumped up out of the chair hearing the front door open. “We’re back.” Yoshiru grinned widely at me as I tried to peer around him to where Kenta was. Kenta looked positively dejected, not even looking up from the floor, the normally square shoulders slumped. What had happened while they were gone? “Ryuunosuke, can I talk to you in the office for a moment?” I nodded shocked to hear him speak in English. I shut the door behind us and turned to face him. “What is going on?” “English please.” “Why? What does it matter?” “Because I want to keep this conversation private.” I sighed, rolling my eyes. Sora and I did this all the time when we didn’t want people to know what we were talking about. “Fine. What is going on?” “Kenta is malnourished.” “What!” I couldn’t help the gasp. “I just had him at a private clinic to make sure he is clean and free of any STDs and while they were checking that I had them run a few other tests as well. He is low on almost everything.” “Wait . . . you had him checked for sexually transmitted diseases?” I was aghast that my father would go so far. “Of course. You two are intimate and I don’t want you contracting something.” “Yoshiru you can’t just take my boyfriend and make him take those kinds of tests.” No wonder Kenta had looked so depressed. “Think of it as a condition of his employment. He is perfectly clean and physically sound. My only concern is the malnutrition. The doctor said he was surprised that Kenta wasn’t sick more often. He needs more fruit and vegetables in his diet. I expect you to make sure he’s getting them.” Staring at my father I slowly shook my head. “You realize that he already was tested for stds, right?” Yoshiru raised an eyebrow at me. “When you had him in for the broken ribs? They only tested for the most common. I had him tested for everything.” “E-everything?” “Yes and now that that little issue is cleared up I can confidently tell your mother that gay sex is not going to kill you.” I suddenly felt light headed. “Though she is rather disappointed that she won’t be getting any grandchildren.” “I-I better go check on Kenta. He hates doctors.” “Mm yes. I could hear him cussing the doctor all the way out in the waiting room. It was quite amusing.” I didn’t even know what to say to that. Heading out of the office I spotted Kenta in the kitchen. He was leaning against the counter his chin resting on his chest, his arms folded. It was a common posture to find him in when he was upset and thinking about something. I stood there for a moment wondering if he would notice me. Finally I walked up to him, lightly touching his shoulder. He didn’t move. “Hey . . . dad says the tests all came back clean-“ “Don’t give a shit. Ain’t been with nobody in four fucking years, could have told him if he’d fucking asked.” It was kind of cute to see him pouting and I couldn’t help but gather him up into my arms. It was still a shock when he didn’t push me away. He must be pretty upset, it made me feel bad. “Hey it wasn’t that bad was it? At least now you know for sure right?” “They stuck a fucking swab up my cock, you how fucking bad that hurts?” “Yes I’ve had it done, Kenta. It is uncomfortable but necessary.” “Fuck that. You’re the only guy I’ve ever been with and we used a condom both times.” He was getting more upset, his hands coming up to try and push me away. “Shh, it’s fine, it’s over now. I know I’m clean so as long as we are faithful to each other we won’t have to do that again. Right?” That seemed to calm him down, he quit trying to push me away and I heard him sigh, the muscled chest rising and falling slowly against me. I ran my fingers through the loose hair at the base of his neck then tugged the pony tail gently. “Dad is right, this is a good look for you.” “Don’t fucking tease.” There was a soft laugh from behind me and I felt Kenta jerk, but didn’t let him go. “I’ll see you two later. Kenta, take good care of my son.” There was a soft ‘fuck you’ breathed into my shirt and I yanked his pony tail. “Ryuunosuke, don’t forget to call your mother.” “Hai! I won’t! Bye Dad.”

Ryuu After jerking some clothes on and making sure Kenta was getting cleaned up I headed back into the living room. I felt nervous and jittery. It was the first time in almost four years that he’d visited me here at home. I’d seen him several times a year when I went to visit, but he rarely came to Japan any more. I knew why he was here. Mother had no doubt sent him to check up on me, especially considering what was going on in the news. I hoped that Nakamara had been able to get the gag order going. I probably should have called him when I got up this morning, but Kenta was kind of distracting. Why did real life have to hit right after such an amazing time with him? I wanted to just lay around and enjoy being with him until I had to get ready for the concert. But it seemed that I would have to wait for that. Maybe after the concert. There were a few things he and I needed to discuss anyway. Yoshiru was sitting at the dining room table reading . . . oh fuck. Now I was starting to sound like Kenta, but seeing him reading one of the tabloids gave me an unsettled feeling. He looked up at me and smiled. “Sorry about getting you out of bed son.” I shook my head, running a hand through my hair hoping it didn’t look too disheveled. “Don’t worry about it. Um . . . I didn’t realize you were in Japan.” “I just got in yesterday. We are buying out another company here in Kobe and your mother . . .” He sighed and folding the paper laid it on the table. He tapped the picture on the front. I glanced at it then away. It must be the latest issue. They had a more recent candid shot of me walking out of a club, Kenta behind me. It was cropped in such a way that you could barely tell that Sora was right next to me and Hasu was nearly hidden behind Kenta. It made it look like it was just Kenta and I, not the whole band like it had been. The headline was ridiculous and I knew I was going to be making a call to the editor of the paper personally. I looked back up as my father cleared his throat. “Ryuunosuke, this really is a bit much. Even for you.” I looked down again trying to think of something to say, but my mind was completely blank. All I could think of was Kenta in the other room. Kenta was going to be beyond furious when he saw the tabloid. The unsettled feeling deepened into full blown anxiety. “He’s here isn’t he.” My head snapped back up as panic flooded me. “N-no. No he-“ He shook his head a disturbing grin on his face. “You’ve always been a terrible liar. You are too open with your feelings and it’s entirely too easy to see the fresh hickies with that shirt.” My hand flew to my neck and he laughed at me, a soft sound that usually always put me at ease. After a moment he sighed and got up walking toward me. “Ryuunosuke, we do need to talk about this though. You know that I’ve always supported you in your decisions.” I nodded, afraid to say anything. “I understand that you think you like this . . . Arakaki?” He frowned slightly as he said it and I suddenly felt breathless, a weight settling over me. “I’m not sure this is smart. You should not be involved with an employee, son. It can create all kinds of problems.” “I . . . I . . . need him.” I felt like a complete idiot, was that really the best I could come up with? “Yes, I know you think you do. I don’t need to remind you what happened last time . . .” I had to look away unable to take the pain in his eyes. I’d been furious when Sora had told my parents what Naoki had done. I hadn’t pressed charges at the time and they had both been livid, threatening to move me to Europe with them. It was only after I’d promised to put a restraining order on Naoki that they had backed off. They had both readily agreed that my having a bodyguard was a good idea. Though it seemed now maybe they were regretting that. “No, I can see that I don’t. I’m sorry for bringing it up. But, you understand how worried I am.” I nodded slowly trying to find my voice. “Kenta . . . Kenta is nothing like him. He-he wouldn’t even touch me if I didn’t want him to. He’s been my bodyguard for two years now and I trust him more than I’ve ever trusted anyone.” “Well . . . that’s good.” His eyes seemed to soften as he looked at me. He stepped close and pulled me into a quick hug. “You’ve grown, in a lot of ways, son. I’m very proud of you. Now where is he?” I stood there shocked once he let me go. He was proud of me? Even with all the shit I’d pulled and this latest issue, though it wasn’t like I’d planned it, he was still proud of me? Numb I watched as he walked passed me toward the bedroom. Then it suddenly hit me. Kenta was probably in the tub and the room was a mess our clothes strewn everywhere and I’d not had a chance to tell Kenta to watch his language but it looked like none of that was going to matter. “Wa-wait! Dad!” I ran after him but he was already in the bedroom. He glanced around and headed straight for the bath room pushing the door open. “Fucking hell!” I cringed, covering my face with a hand. Kenta was standing in front the sink only a towel wrapped around his waist. He looked surprised and . . . pissed.

Kenta It was like all my fear, frustration and anger had been turned inside out and upside down. It was almost frightening how he could affect me. Somehow that had been even better than last night. I hadn’t thought that was fucking possible. Guess make-up sex was a good idea. I slumped down my arms shaking as I tried to hold myself up so that I wasn’t completely laying on him. He wrapped his arms around me pulling me down, kissed my cheek, my mouth, my neck in quick soft little kisses. “Oh god Kenta you are amazing.” He drew back to look at me, the blue grey eyes searching my face. “You know . . . I think you lied to me.” I tried to move back but he didn’t let me. It was impossible to meet his eyes. “ . . . ‘bout what?” “You’ve done this before.” I shook my head and met his eyes for a moment. “Nope.” “Then how –“ “Ryuu . . . I was in juvie for over a year. Not the nice places you see on TV that they call correctional facilities.” Fuck . . . should I tell him? Would it change things if I did? He let me go so I could move back. I winced slightly as I slid free. Fuck that was tight. Sitting back on the bed I looked at him as he slowly sat up to lean against the headboard. Taking a deep breath I looked down and slid the condom off. “I learned a lot of things.” Getting up I walked over to the trash can and tossed the condom in it. “My original sentence was only eight months, but I kept getting into fights because guys wanted to do to me what I just did to you, except a lot more violently. The last time I beat the fucker unconscious. They put me in solitary after that. Liked it better anyway.” I finally turned to look at him. There was no expression on his face. None. It kind of freaked me out. He was probably regretting everything now. Turning away from the bed I started to look for my clothes. I staggered as his weight suddenly hit me, his arms wrapped tight around me. “I’m so sorry, Kenta. If I’d known I would never-“ “Please don’t say it Ryuu . . .” I shifted around to look at him. “Don’t. You are not them.” I sighed and brushed the hair back from his face. He was crying, silent tears running down his face. “Ryuu . . . please, if I didn’t want to be with you then none of this would have happened.” He tried to smile, but there was too much pain behind it. “You’re sure?” I nodded and leaning forward kissed him. “I’m sorry I got so upset this morning. It’s just too fucking weird seeing myself on the news.” His smile eased into something more genuine. “You’ll get used to it.” We both started hearing the doorbell and looked at each other. The panic in his eyes mirrored my own. “Who the fuck is that?” “I . . . I don’t know. No one was coming over today. Shit! We’ve got to get cleaned up and dressed too.” He was looking around wildly and I realized he was the one with cum all over him. Though he’d hugged me and . . . I looked down . . . well shit. “I’ll go see who it is. Most people know I keep odd hours.” He was already grabbing his sweats and slipping them on. “No one knows you are here, so just stay in the bathroom for now, alright.” I nodded and went to start the tub. He was back within a minute looking frantic. He grabbed a rag and after getting it wet quickly started cleaning himself off. “Ryuu?” “Yoshiru is here.” “Yo-Yoshiru-oh fuck!” Ryuu’s father. His father was here. Oh fucking hell.

Kenta I barely had a chance to get my shoes off before Ryuu was dragging me through the apartment. I didn’t want to admit it but I was fucking nervous like I’d never been before in my life. Even when I’d been waiting to hear my sentence read at court I hadn’t been this nervous. I was shaking, bad enough that I didn’t like it, that weird slightly weak feeling. Before I realized it we were in the bedroom. He hadn’t bothered to turn the lights on and in the dim light from the windows I could make out him stripping. “I’m going to go take a quick shower. You are free to join me if you want.” The shaking was getting worse. Maybe . . . maybe doing just that would be for the best. I could get him off and maybe he would forget what I’d said. Yeah right, what the fuck was I thinking? Once Ryuu got an idea in his head you better just get out of his fucking way. Slowly getting undressed I followed him into the bathroom. Slipping into the shower behind him I noticed the bruise on his side. “Fuck! Ryuu, you got hurt when you fell!” “Oh, yeah it’s a little sore but nothing like when you broke your ribs I’m sure.” “I didn’t break them the guy with the baseball bat broke them.” I shivered as the water hit me. He liked his showers too fucking hot. “You sure you’re alright?” “Yes I’m just fine.” He turned to face me and not for the first time did I wish I was just a little bit taller. At least tall enough that I didn’t have to look up to meet his eyes. “Kenta . . . if you aren’t ready we don’t have to.” I blinked a couple of times and looked down. Shit, wrong thing to do because now I was looking at his cock which wasn’t what I needed to be looking at right now. I swallowed trying to think of what to say and looked back up at him. “I know you want too Ryuu but . . .” “You are scared of hurting me?” Nodding, I almost stepped back as he slowly ran the sponge over my chest leaving a trail of soap bubbles. “That’s an easy fix. I’ll be on top.” “Wha-“ He kissed me. “Don’t say anything. Just trust me, okay.” Seeing the look in his eyes I nodded. I did trust him. More than I’d ever trusted anyone since Ayame. He smiled at me, the soft grey eyes seeming to sparkle. Without saying anything else he slowly started to run the sponge over every inch of me. It was more relaxing than a turn on, but I enjoyed every second of it. I was more than happy to return the favor but he made me get out of the shower. “Dry off and get in bed. I’ll be there in a bit.” I was a little chilled as I slid under the covers, though the pricking sensation had nothing to do with the temperature. My heart seemed to skip slightly as I heard the shower shut off. It was several minutes later when the door to the bathroom opened again and I felt him get into bed. He slid up next to me, his skin still hot from the shower. “Oh, you are nice and cool.” He kissed my shoulder and I could feel him smile. “You smell good too.” I laid there not sure what to do or say and I heard him chuckle. Then he was straddling me, his chest against mine our lips touching. He kissed me lightly before pulling back and I felt his weight shift as he leaned over. The drawer of the night stand rattled open and I heard the unmistakable sound of him opening a condom. “Ryuu . . . “ “Shh . . . you trust me right.” “Yes.” It was barely a whisper, for some reason breathing was kind of difficult. Probably because he was still half laying on me. Yeah that was it. He kissed me again and slid down taking the covers with him. I kind of wanted them back. I bit my lip feeling his fingers wrap around me. He slowly stroked me until I was hard again, which didn’t take long at all. I was a little confused as I felt him slide the condom on me. Hadn’t he said he would be on top? I knew what that meant and it wasn’t this. I didn’t have time to ask as he crawled back up, his knees on either side of my hips. His mouth found mine and thinking became next to impossible as he kissed me, his tongue slipping in deep. I couldn’t help but respond, the taste of him turning me on even more. I’d felt him moving slightly as he kissed me and there was a sudden pressure against the tip of my cock but I didn’t think anything of it since I could feel his fingers too. That was until something very, very tight and hot slid around the head. Ryuu moaned and broke the kiss, his whole body trembling. He grabbed my arms forcing me back down as I went to move. “Just hold still . . . please.” He was a bit breathless. “Ryuu . . . are you sure? Is this okay?” “Shh . . . yes . . . yes this is much more than okay.” He shifted back and we both gasped, my head going back against the pillow as his fingers tightened on my arms. My entire length was inside him. Inside Ryuu. Oh fuck, this was really happening. It was so tight, the heat from his body almost more than I could take. He shifted slightly and it was like I could feel every little muscle move. I was shocked to realize I could feel his heart racing to match my own. “Oh fuck.” I opened my eyes at his soft laugh and looked up at him. He was smiling at me as he slowly started to rock his hips back and forth. I couldn’t stop the moan as the heat seemed to sear through me. He was so fucking tight it almost hurt as he moved and I grabbed his hips stopping him. “Ryuu . . . it’s not . . . you aren’t hurting are you.” He leaned down slightly to kiss me, the movement sending another rush of heat through me. “No, but you are a bit of a stretch.” “Don’t fucking tease!” He giggled and I sucked in a startled breath as muscles clench down even tighter. He slid forward enough that I thought he was going to get off of me, but just when I would have slipped out he was coming back down. Holy fucking shit that felt amazing. If I’d thought his mouth drove me crazy, I was going fucking insane now. I’d never in my life imagined I would find someone who made me feel so wanted, like I mattered more to him than anything else. It was overwhelming to know that he wanted to be with me like this. Just that he wanted me was more than I’d believed possible. Ryuu Gasping softly I kept my movements slow and shallow. It had been a long time since I’d bottomed, even from the top and the burn was making me a bit light headed. In a good way. Hearing the small sounds Kenta was making as I moved made it entirely worth it. His fingers tightened on my hips and suddenly he was meeting me as I came down. I’d been worried that the memories would interfere, but being on top helped. “Oh god.” That was perfect. The angle, the way he filled me so completely, the feel of his fingers, just it being him, all of it amazed me and made me feel like nothing in my life ever had. Not even being on stage gave me this kind of feeling. I was making love to Kenta and that was what it truly felt like, even if it sounded cliché. To be truly connected to him in every way possible made my chest ache with something I’d never felt before. It was like all those stupid love songs finally made sense and I almost had to laugh at myself. He was thrusting deeper each time, the sensation becoming so intense I knew I wasn’t going to last even without touching my erection. He seemed to have read my mind. The next thing I knew his hand was wrapped around me, slow smooth strokes making me whine. For someone who claimed to have never been with a man, he certainly knew what to do. I heard him make a low sound that was between a moan and a whine and suddenly his thrusts became a bit erratic. I was so close to going off myself and I didn’t want it to end this soon. I didn’t want this wonderful euphoria to ever stop. “Oh shit! Ryuu!” I shuddered, the feel of him coming sending a shock through me. Each pulse sent another dizzying spiral of heat through me until I was writhing. I came so hard it actually took my breath away, lights dancing before me. “Kenta . . .” It took me a while to get my breath back and I realized I’d slumped forward, laying on him. His one hand was trapped between us. His other one lightly stroked my back. His breath warm on my skin as he spoke. “You okay?” “Much much better than that.” I turned my head so I could kiss him. He kissed me back, the passion in it like nothing before. I sighed into the kiss, feeling at once light and full of happiness and also so very sensitive, even the slightest movements making me want to gasp. He gently slipped his hand out from between us and taking hold of my hips shifted me forward. I bit my lip a small whimper escaping as he slid free. I shuddered at the sudden empty feeling. Then he was lifting me and laying me next to him. He kissed me softly but with such affection it brought tears to my eyes. “Thank you Kenta.” A low chuckle was his only response. He got out of the bed for a moment, probably to get rid of the condom. I was still tingling from the after affects when he came back and then he was kissing me again, pulling me closer. He wrapped his arms around me and I idly wondered if we should go take a shower first, but it felt too nice where I was. I’d just change the sheets in the morning. I was going to bask in this feeling as long as I could. I fell asleep completely wrapped up in the man I loved.

Ryuu To say I was shocked would have been a gross understatement. Not only had Kenta suggested we go shopping, he hadn’t complained once so far. If having nightmares meant I got pampered like this, it was a bit easier to take. I’d still just rather not have them. I’d been disappointed that Tatsuya couldn’t make it, but we’d made plans to go out later that week. It was going to be a double date. I got excited just thinking about being on an actual date with Kenta. “So, do you like the jeans?” “Yeah.” I sighed, he said yes to everything. Well almost everything. He’d said no to going into the adult novelty store and to trying on anything I wanted to get for him and no to joining me in the changing room. I’d still bought stuff for him though. We were close enough in size that I could get him the same size without having to worry whether or not it would fit. I’d found him a couple of shirts and a pair of jeans I was dying to see him in. I set my bags down in the seat next to me. We’d found a little café to have lunch in and he’d gotten us a table off to the side. He looked down at me and I was struck all over again by how gorgeous he was, the dark eyes soft as they looked into mine. “What do you want? I’ll go order for us.” I told him and watched him walk to the counter. After last night and this morning I had an all new kind of respect and appreciation for him. His reaction proved that I’d found someone who actually cared for me. He’d not once told me I was stupid or that I shouldn’t be so freaked out by a silly nightmare. I looked around the café. It was a small one, with cute décor. Tatsuya would have liked it. I noticed a couple of girls pointing at Kenta and giggling. I couldn’t help but smile. They were just shit out of luck. The man was mine and I would fight to keep it that way too. I couldn’t help but smirk as they watched him walk back to our table. “Thanks Arakaki-san.” I winked at him and got a glare in return. “Just eat and quit looking at those girls.” I raised an eyebrow at him. So he’d noticed. “What? They are cute, fawning all over you. The one was pointing at your butt. I have to agree with her, you have a very nice ass.” “Shut up Ryuu.” I grinned at him and took a bite of my sandwich. “Ryuu.” I looked up at him. “Are you going to tell me what happened last night?” I suddenly wasn’t hungry anymore. Blinking a couple of times I set my sandwich down. “I had a nightmare.” “Yeah . . . kind of fucking got that part. That was no normal nightmare.” “No . . . no it wasn’t.” Mostly because it had actually happened. “Ryuu . . .” I finally looked up at him trying my hardest not to let my emotions overwhelm me. “Ryuu, you can tell me.” I shook my head and looked back down. I could barely speak for the lump in my throat. “No . . . I can’t.” I bolted for the bathroom feeling like I was going to be sick. Almost two years and it still felt like yesterday. I still remembered everything he’d said to me, the way he’d beat me until I was nearly unconscious, how terrified I’d been afterward when I wouldn’t stop bleeding. I gagged, leaning over the sink. I knew what had triggered the nightmare and it frustrated me. I wanted to be with Kenta but even now it felt like Naoki was trying to control me. Maybe I needed to start taking my pills again. Just so I could sleep through the night. I jumped whipping around as I felt a hand on my shoulder. “Easy Ryuu, it’s just me.” The look of concern on Kenta’s face sent a stab of pain through me. I was worrying him, but there was no way I could tell him, not yet. A soft sob worked its way up and I pulled him close burying my face against his shirt. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Kenta Wrapping my arms around him I backed us up slightly so I could block the door to the bathroom. I didn’t want anyone coming in and seeing Ryuu like this. He wasn’t sobbing like he had been that morning, but it still hurt me to hear him crying. “Easy, Ryuu. Nothing to apologize for.” I ran my hand down his back feeling the tremble. “Maybe we should go home. We can have everyone come over and we’ll gang up on Sora on that one video game.” That got a soft laugh and he nuzzled closer to me his arms slipping around my waist. “Why are you so nice to me Kenta?” I frowned at that question. Using my free hand I grabbed his chin and pulled his head up. I stared into those bottomless grey eyes. Things were starting to click into place. “Why wouldn’t I be Ryuu? Why don’t you clean up and I’m going to go make sure no one walked off with our stuff.” “Okay.” He was out sooner than I thought he would be, the bright confident smile firmly in place. It hurt me to think that it hid so much pain. Maybe soon he would feel comfortable enough to tell me what the nightmares were about. Until then I would be there to do whatever I could to help him. *** “Kenta?” “Hmm” “Will you stay tonight?” I looked over at him. We’d just finished cleaning up after everyone had left. Even with three of them ganging up on Sora they hadn’t managed to beat him. I didn’t even try. Video games were like school, pointless and a waste of time. “You want me to?” He nodded. After last night I didn’t really want to leave him by himself and I knew how much it bothered him to be alone. “Yeah sure, I’ll stay.” He came over and gave me a hug and a soft lingering kiss. “Thank you.” I smiled at him and wrapped my arms around him, pulling him against me so that I could feel every inch of that amazing body against mine. I kissed his neck, smiling at the soft gasp. His neck was so sensitive and I loved the way I could make him go crazy. “Let’s go to bed.” “No argument there.” He was giggling as I helped him get undressed. I couldn’t help but want to touch him all over. I desperately wanted him to forget what ever had made him so upset this morning. “Just a little anxious aren’t you, Kenta-kun?” He pulled me down on the bed with him. I grunted as there was a twinge in my ribs. I was going to have to be careful what I did, they still weren’t fully healed. I pushed myself up so that I wasn’t laying directly on him. “Oh you think so?” “I can feel you through your pants.” “Really?” His hand slid down my chest and with a flick of his wrist he’d unbuttoned my pants. I hissed softly as he pulled my hardening cock out of my boxers. “Mm this is better.” He grinned up at me, then suddenly the grin faded. “You are in pain. We should stop.” “No. No. I’m fine.” I wanted to whine as he let go of me and shifted back so he could sit up. He smacked my shoulder giving me a hard look. “You are not, I can tell. Don’t be stupid. It’s not worth it if you get hurt.” “Come on Ryuu.” “No, now lay down while I go get your medicine.” “Fuck. Why are you teasing me?” “I’m not teasing and you owe me.” Keeping my mouth shut I finished undressing and crawled into bed. I hated that he was right. I was in more pain than I wanted to admit. Damn him. I’d been looking forward to a bit of fun before bed. I knew that look though. There was no arguing with him now. Either way it was nice just to be near him and I wasn’t going to complain. I’d get a chance in the morning and there was all day tomorrow too. I grinned just thinking about it and settled deeper into the bed. It gave me a very content feeling to be here with Ryuu. One I hadn’t felt in years. I looked up as he came back in a water bottle in one hand and my pills in the other. I took both from him and watched him as he climbed into the bed next to me. Part of me was still shocked that I was here, sharing a bed with him. I didn’t deserve him, but hell if I was going to let him go. Setting the water bottle to the side I shut the light off and tackled him to the bed kissing him. He could be mad at me later.

Kenta “Get up. “ The deep rumble startled me awake but it was the fist in my hair that had me on my feet. Oh fuck! Fuck! When had Jiro got here? I had a quick glance at Ryuu asleep on the bed before I was hauled out of the room. I stumbled trying to keep my feet, my hair getting yanked in the process. “Fuck! Let go Jiro!” He didn’t say anything and didn’t let go either. Shit. My stomach suddenly felt like it was trying to crawl out my throat. A pissed off Jiro was the last thing I needed right now. There was a sharp stabbing pain in my side to match the searing pain in my head. He threw me down in the living room and I narrowly missed bashing my head into the coffee table. Scrambling around I got to my feet only to have him backhand me hard enough to send me right back to the floor. I stayed there. There was no rage in his eyes, just a dead calm. I was in some seriously deep shit if that was the case. I looked over realizing Hayate was standing by the front door. He had a busted lip and was trying to stop his nose from bleeding. He glanced at me then looked away. My attention snapped back to Jiro as he spoke. “I am very disappointed in the two of you. Nakamara wants you fired Kenta. Fired and demoted.” I flinched. It was the least I deserved. “I should. I should demote you back down to the most junior rank and let you work your way back up. I really thought better of you Kenta. I didn’t think you would shirk your responsibilities like this. What would have happened if someone had recognized Ryuu? He could have been kidnapped . . . or killed. His parents pay us the protection money for a reason. He’s not just some ditzy singer; he’s the son of Ito Yoshiru and Kaori. The Ito name alone is worth billions of yen. He’s a target for extortionists and paparazzi. What happened last night would have made national news if he’d been recognized. You just better thank whatever god happened to be watching out for him last night that didn’t happen.” I shrank down as he came to stand over me. I knew all this, why was he telling me again? I knew who Ryuu was. Though it was easy to forget when I was with him all the time. “Jiro I-“ “Did I give you permission to speak?” I yelped as the fist slammed into the side of my head knocking me flat. Shit but he hit hard. My ears were ringing. I couldn’t remember Jiro ever being this mad at me. He’d never hit me before. I knew it happened occasionally when the other guys fucked up, but I’d never planned on being one of them. It was getting harder to breathe, the pain radiating around from my side. I’d probably fucked up my ribs again carrying Ryuu last night. Getting hit didn’t help either. “Hayate go get the car, we are leaving. I’ve already got Teito headed over to keep an eye on Ryuu.” The pain was forgotten as I looked up at Jiro. I struggled to get up, using the coffee table as support. “No, I’ll stay. He . . . he needs me.” “He needed you yesterday. No, it’s too late Kenta. You lost your chance. Get up, we are leaving.” He didn’t give me a choice, roughly hauling me to my feet. I swayed for a second, dizzy. The side of my face was numb and throbbing, my ribs aching, but it was the sick hollow feeling eating away at me that was causing the most pain. Jiro was right. I’d lost my chance. Ryuu had been the best thing to ever happen to me and I’d treated him like shit. I’d lied to myself, to him, thinking that it would be best for both of us. Why was I so fucking stupid? Then it hit me. I was scared. Fucking scared shitless. Why would someone like Ryuu want anything to do with someone like me? But even more than that, I was scared of what would happen if it was found out. The media would rip him to shreds for dating an ex con yakuza member, never mind another guy. I couldn’t let that happen. He meant too much to me. “No. I am staying here.” “I don’t want you here.” I turned to see Sora standing in the hall. “I want you to leave. You’ve done enough damage.” I shook my head, wincing. “No, I am staying. I’ll find a way to-“ “I said no.” It only took Sora two long strides to reach me and the next thing I knew I was on the floor by the couch. Holy fuck! I did not need this right now. “Wait! Sora stop!” Hayate was trying to stop him as I used the couch to try and get back up. Maybe I should just stay on the floor. “You don’t understand.” Hayate almost landed on me as Sora shoved him out of the way. “I understand perfectly fine. He’s happy to use Ryuu to get what he wants, just like all those posers and fakes who only want to be his friend because of who he is. I told you if you hurt him, I’d make you regret it.” I was too slow to get out of the way as Sora reached down and yanked me up. He didn’t understand. I already regretted it. “No that’s not-fuck!” I tried to block him but I was in too much pain. He hit as hard as or harder than Jiro and he wasn’t stopping. Hayate finally managed to pry him off me. I ended up half laying on the couch. The only thing I could think was that Ryuu was going to be upset that I was getting blood on the pretty white fabric. I didn’t blame Sora for being mad at me. I was mad at myself, but there wasn’t anything I could do about it now. With a shaking hand I wiped the blood off my chin. I went to push myself up and felt something in my chest give. My vision went dark for a moment as agony ripped through me. I wasn’t sure if I could get up. “Fuck! Kenta are you alright? Sora! You didn’t have to go that far!” Hayate was yelling. “He’s the one that went too far! Making Ryuu think he was interested in him. Leading him on-“ “Enough.” Jiro voice cut through the yelling and I felt a firm hand on my upper arm. It took all myself control not to sob with pain as he pulled me up. “I think your point has been made Sora. You won’t have to worry about Kenta. He won’t be back.” “No, Jiro, no you can’t have someone else watch him.” I tried to shake off Jiro’s hand. I was almost sick with pain, but I couldn’t let them. No one knew Ryuu like I did. Could handle his tantrums, could calm him down when he’d get upset. “Teito doesn’t understand him.” “Oh and you do?” I looked over at Sora and realized my right eye must be swelling shut. I couldn’t really see him. “Yes. I do. I know I fucked up, but just give me another chance.” I tilted my head so I could look up at Jiro. “Please. Please let me stay.” *** Sora glared at me every time he walked into the room. Ryuu had been sleeping for the last couple of hours and it was nearing nine in the evening. Sora was still upset with me. He’d barely let me help when Ryuu had woke earlier to eat and use the bathroom. Not that I was a whole lot of help. I’d wrapped my ribs back up and taken some pain meds, but the dull ache was still there. “Why did you even bother staying?” I didn’t lift my head from where it was resting on my arm. What was I supposed to fucking say? Keeping my eyes on the sleeping man only a few inches from me I knew why I’d stayed. I’d sit here all night watching him again if I had to. “Sora . . . haven’t you considered what would happen if-if the media found out. About me, I mean. If we . . . were together I know it would always have to be a secret. Not just because we are both guys, but . . . I have a criminal record and not just something silly like shoplifting. I went to juvie for assault and battery when I was fourteen. I’m yakuza now. How would that look to the media. I want him to be happy, Sora and I just don’t think he would really be happy with me.”

Kenta I am such a fucking idiot. Letting my emotions get the better of me like that. But the way he was looking at me now, with blond hair stuck to his face, his eyes looking too large for his face, the full lips parted just slightly shut my brain down. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I couldn’t. I couldn’t just walk away. He was already crying, the tears bright in his eyes. The way he’d responded when I’d kissed him had caught me completely off guard. I hadn’t expected to get that turned on by it. It was freaking me out. I wasn’t supposed to get that worked up kissing another guy. But he wasn’t just any guy. He was Ryuu. Sweet, sensitive, affectionate Ryuu. The guy who made me laugh. The one person who seemed to understand that I wasn’t just some pissed off thug. The only person who dared to be physical with me in a way that wasn’t violent. I couldn’t brush that off. I also couldn’t deny that he was looking too damn hot staring at me like that. Sighing I reached up and moved a strand of hair back from his cheek. He was looking away from me, sniffling. “Fucking hell. I’m going to get fired.” I grabbed him, crushing those sweet lips, wanting to taste him again. After a bit I stepped back smiling at him. It would be too easy to blow off the interview today and explore where this was going, but I wasn’t going to let that happen. There was plenty of time for that later. Though he didn’t seem to want to stop. “Oi, you need to get ready and the water is getting cold.” “Now you are making excuses.” That wicked grin would have scared the shit out of most people who knew him. “I know for a fact that there is at least fifteen more minutes of hot water.” “Oh really?” He nodded and leaned in close. “Plenty of time.” The next thing I knew he was gone. I blinked looking down to see him on his knees in front of me. He looked up at me and I felt my eyes widen. Oh fuck. He wasn’t serious. Holy shit, he was. I gasped, jerking as he grabbed my cock. Sure I'd been hard for a while now, but this was not what I'd been expecting. His grin got impossibly larger. “Ry-Ryuu wh-what are you-“ Then talking was impossible because that gorgeous, talented mouth had just slid around the head. “F-fuck!” I felt, more than heard him chuckle and swore I was going to crawl out of my skin. I sagged back against the tile as heat flooded me. With one hand he was massaging my balls while the other slid around my waist holding me close. I managed to open my eyes and look down at him. He was watching me as he slid his mouth back and forth, his tongue stroking me even as he sucked. Those kinds of sensations should not be fucking possible. My legs were turning to jelly. My brain was already mush. Only one thought made it through the pleasure. Why? It didn’t matter for the moment. Not a fucking thing mattered except the way that hot mouth was making me go fucking insane. I tried to move back, to get him off me before I came, but he wouldn’t move and I couldn’t really stop him. “Holy fucking shit!” If I hadn’t had the wall to lean against I would have fallen on my ass. It had been ages since I’d come like that and I’d forgotten how drained I could feel. Drained quite literally. I shook my head looking down at Ryuu. He was wiping some off his chin and grinning at me. “See the water is still hot.” “Yeah . . .” I turned slightly, feeling-weird didn’t even cover it. What was I supposed to do? Thank him? Kiss him? Fuck him silly? I turned back to him trying to think of what to say and suddenly had a wet, very horny singer clinging to me. “That was fun.” He was grinning at me. He was so close I could see the flecks of blue in his eyes. “Fun? No, fun is playing pool. That was fucking awesome.” I’d said it before I really had time to think about it. He giggled and I realized I found the sound utterly and completely adorable. “I’m glad you enjoyed it. Though I really need to wash my hair now.” I felt my face heat up. “Oh, oh yeah, sorry.” My brain was slowly starting to catch up with what had just happened I was quietly freaking out. Ryuu had just given me a blow job and acted like it was the most natural thing in the world. Maybe it was. If I was really honest with myself, I’d never been as attracted to someone as I was to Ryuu. At first I’d thought it was just your typical this guy is fucking cool to hang with type thing. Then I’d started to really get to know him and his . . . quirks. Even for all the times I’d gotten pissed at him or had to clean up a mess he’d accidently made or even carry him out to his limo when he passed out after a concert, I couldn’t imagine not having him around, not being with him. He was a very bright spot in my otherwise dim life. Maybe it was time I quit fucking around and went for what I really wanted for once in my life. Right now I wanted to show Ryuu that he wasn’t getting away with something like that. Ryuu We somehow managed to make it to the studio on time. To say that I was in a good mood would have been like saying the surface of the sun is warm. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been this happy and just this . . . content. We’d ended up staying in the shower until cold water had driven us out. I’d had to put concealer on a few of the larger hickies on my neck. Kenta had several of his own and as soon as we got back to the apartment I was going to see just how many more I could give him. The talk show went well. I was too euphoric to let anything get to me. I could see Kenta from where I was sitting and just looking over at him would give me another rush of happiness. The interview couldn’t be over soon enough. Kenta met me backstage and I stole a kiss, getting a glare in return. “I know. I know.” I patted his chest grinning at him before wiping the lipstick off those amazing lips. “No affection in public. It would ruin your image.” “Or yours.” I tried not to pout, but I didn’t like being reminded. “My image is of a crazy singer for a visual kei band. I’m already known for going around kissing people, so why not you?” I sighed at the look he gave me, my skin prickling with anticipation. “Fine, fine you win. You coming over now?” “Can’t. Gotta work. My ‘other’ job.” “Oh . . .” I tried not to sound too disappointed but that was next to impossible. Well, I couldn’t be too greedy. I’d finally made it over the infamous wall that he normally had up and I wasn’t about to get locked back out by being too demanding. Even I knew where to draw the line. “Will you call me when you get off work so I know you got home okay.” He raised an eyebrow at me and I grabbed his arm pulling him close. “I don’t care what time it is I want you to call me! I worry otherwise.” “No bitching when I wake you up at three.” “I promise.” I grinned shivering as he leaned up and kissed me lightly. “Let’s get going. I gotta go home and change.” *** I ended up at Sora’s house. He had Hasu over as well and we played video games till nearly midnight. Hasu had crashed out on one of the bean bag chairs Sora had while we sat on the bed. “You’ve been in an unusually good mood tonight. You didn’t take those uppers again did you?” I shook my head. “No, I threw all those away last year. No, its just that something I’d been wanting to happen finally happened.” Sora leaned closer peering at me. I looked away for a second then met his eyes again. He was grinning at me. “You’ve got hickies.” His jaw dropped and he stared at me for a moment. “Reiko was wrong. He’s not straight.” I couldn’t help but laugh falling back on the bed. Grabbing a pillow I hugged it to my chest. “Oh my god Sora, he’s so amazing.” Sora chuckled softly and leaned over me. “Lucky bastard.” “Yeah you’re gonna have the bluest balls on the planet if you plan on waiting for him.” I sat up looking over at Hasu. The kid was adorable and I knew exactly why Sora liked him so much. Hasu was perfect for him. Well maybe not perfect, but just what Sora needed. As Sora’s best friend since high school I was qualified to make those kinds of judgments. It was just too bad that Hasu was only sixteen. I’d already been messing around at that age, but Hasu was different and Sora was devoted to protecting him in every way possible. Even from himself. I admired him for it. Not many people would have had that kind of dedication. It showed me just how much the giant idiot loved the little drummer. “Thanks for reminding me. Asshole.” Sora grinned at me. “Seriously though, I am happy for you Ryuu. Just . . . be careful okay.” I looked down, clutching the pillow a little tighter. I knew why Sora was worried, but he didn’t need to be, not this time. “Kenta is nothing like him. Nothing at all.” “He better not be or I’ll kill him. If anything happens, anything at all you call me.” I looked up at Sora. Setting the pillow to the side I hugged him. “Thanks Sora. You’ve always been an awesome friend.” “I know. You could use some work though.” “Hey!”

Kenta Today was going to shit. It had already gone to hell, and things were getting impossibly worse. Ryuu had locked himself in his dressing room and wasn’t letting anyone in. It was our second day on set shooting the band’s new promotional video and it seemed that anything and everything that could possibly go wrong was. I stood outside, leaning against the wall next to the door waiting for the latest tantrum to run its course. I’d never seen Ryuu this moody and even Sora was confused. It was almost like Ryuu was inventing reasons to stay in his dressing room. “Fuck this.” Taking out my key I opened the door to the room. I blinked a few times surprised that it was completely dark. “Ryuu?” There was no answer and a little rush of apprehension had my skin crawling. “Damn it Ryuu, what the hell is wrong with you? Everyone is waiting on you so we can wrap up shooting.” “I don’t care.” I couldn’t pin point exactly where his voice had come from and reaching over I flipped the light switch. Nothing. “Fuck. What the hell did you do to the light?” “Just go out.” I scowled hearing the tremor in his voice. “Are you crying?” “No.” “Liar.” “Just go out!” I jumped surprised to hear him scream at me like that. It wasn’t like Ryuu at all. Something was really wrong and I wasn’t leaving until I figured out what it was. “Shut the fuck up.” I slammed to door behind me, giving myself a moment until my eyes adjusted to the dim light. I could hear a soft sound that I instantly recognized as Ryuu crying. Fuck it all to hell. I was going to beat him. Why the fucking hell was he crying anyway? He’d been the one who’d thrown the hissy fit when the stylist had accidentally burned him with the iron. I spotted him huddled up on the small love seat that occupied one wall. Walking over to the dressing table I flipped the light on and turned to face him. He wouldn’t look at me. Tears were streaming down his face. His make-up was ruined and it looked like he’d ripped the hairpiece out too. “Ryuu . . .” I kept my voice low, trying to get him calmed down. It hurt me more than I felt it should to see him like this. Standing in front of him I reached down to touch his arm and got my hand batted away. “Don’t touch me! Just don’t fucking touch me.” He was sobbing now, the sound piercing me. Fuck. It should not hurt this much to see him upset. It should not make me want to pull him close and do whatever I could to see that brilliant smile again. “Why are you here? Why don’t you just leave?” “It’s my job to take care of you Ryuu.” That seemed to be the wrong thing to say. Ryuu was suddenly on his feet, his face inches from mine. “I am not just a fucking job!” I caught his wrist as he went to leave and shoved him back down on the sofa. I could feel his pulse racing under my fingertips as I stared down at him. “You are going to fucking calm down and tell me what the fuck is wrong or so help me you will not be finishing this PV. I’ll send everyone home and cancel the shoot.” “N-no don’t . . . I . . . I’m sorry.” His voice sounded so small and hollow, so unlike the Ryuu I knew. Letting go of his wrist I sat down next to him. I didn’t say anything, just waiting. It took several minutes but I finally heard him take a deep breath. “I . . . it’s my fault. I can’t even look at him without thinking that it was my fault. I should have just kept my stupid mouth shut. He must hate me. Reiko is upset with me anyway. She yelled at me at the hospital and hasn’t really talked to me since. I didn’t mean-“ “Ryuu . . . it’s not your fault.” I sighed and leaned forward resting my arms on my knees, hanging my head. This again? “Akira has other issues too, we all know that. None of us realized he wasn’t eating.” I felt him shift next to me, his voice barely audible. “He told me he wanted to look good for the shoot. Everyone must think I’m an egomaniacal insensitive jerk. Even the fans are going to hate me now.” I wasn’t sure what egomaniacal meant, but it didn’t sound good. “The fans don’t hate you Ryuu. And no one thinks you are like that. We all failed Akira.” Soft hair brushed my cheek as Ryuu laid his head over on my shoulder. The subtle scent of hairspray and his expensive cologne surrounded me. “I hate it. He’s always been so small anyway, and now he’s just skin and bones. Every time I look at him I get this sick feeling. He could have died Kenta and it would have been my fault. I know he’s doing better now but . . . he’s lost so much weight. His outfit doesn’t even fit anymore. Why do I have to be so stupid?” “Ryuu,” I was careful to keep any trace of anger out of my voice. He was still blaming himself for Akira’s anorexia? I’d thought we’d discussed this while Akira was in the hospital, though it seemed Ryuu was still feeling like it was his fault. “It was his choice. It’s not like you were taking food away from him.” There was a loud sigh and the warmth was suddenly gone. “I know, but it doesn’t change the fact that he acted on something I said.” There was a long silence. “Kenta, I’m sorry. Um . . . can you please tell everyone I’ll be out in a few minutes to finish the filming.” “Sure Ryuu.” I got to my feet and headed for the door. Opening it I turned back to him, but he was already at the mirror trying to fix his hair. I sighed and shut the door behind me. It was just like him to blame himself for something like this. Silly twit. I tracked down the director and had a few words with him. Ryuu had to be handled delicately when he was in this kind of a mood. His self esteem was so fragile it was almost pathetic and it made me wonder why that was the case. The guy had everything. Wealth, fame, looks, girls (and guys) literally throwing themselves at him so why was his self esteem shit? It didn’t make any sense to me. I sat off to the side as they finished wrapping up shooting. Ryuu was his usual smiling, happy, confident self. Watching and listening to him sing always gave me chills. There was just something about his voice, the emotion he could put into it that got to me every time. I’d been a fan of their music before I’d ever met them in person. Knowing Ryuu and the other boys hadn’t changed that, if anything I was even more of a fan now because I knew just how fucking hard they worked. “You guys looked great.” I handed Hasu a bottle of water and a towel, I had a Coke waiting for the other three. I got three smiles and a grimace. Ryuu wasn’t happy. Go figure. I followed them out to the van after they’d changed. Reiko was waiting. Akira immediately went to her and I heard Ryuu sigh. I frowned looking over at him. That had been happening a lot lately. Was he jealous or something? Reiko was pretty hot. A bit too aggressive for my tastes, but that didn’t seem to faze Akira. I bumped his arm with my elbow to get his attention. “What’s wrong?” He shrugged, not looking up at me. “Just tired I guess. Sorry about earlier.” “Don’t worry about it.” I opened the van door for him and waited until the other two had climbed in before getting in myself. Akira was headed out with Reiko. If anyone could whip that boy into shape it would be her. She wouldn’t be above force feeding him if she had to. We dropped Sora and Hasu off at their places and drove back across town to the gated apartment complex that Ryuu called home. He hesitated before getting out. Soft grey eyes regarded me for a moment. “You want to come up?” “Nah, I gotta get home and change. It’s my night to work at the restaurant.” “Yeah, of course. Sorry. See you later then.” I watched him leave wondering why I had the odd sensation that my heart was dropping through my gut.

Togainu no Chi - Ep. 4 Mediafire

Togainu no Chi - Ep. 3 Mediafire