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Original name: Wild Fangs Manga ALT. names: ワイルドファングス Original run: 2006 Description: Mao, who has a rare bloodline of a beast, has gone on a journey to find the "Master" he has never seen. He then meets Syon, a bounty hunter... Manga-type: Manga Written by: Yamagishi Hokuto Drawn by: Yamagishi Hokuto Published by: Gentousha Group(s) Scanlating: Nakama Status: Complete Completely Scanlated: Yes Completely Translated: Yes Genres: Adventure, Drama, Fantasy,Romance, Yaoi Categories: Drama, Bestiality Main Characters: Mao, Syon Adaptations available: - Related Series: Wild Rose (Sequel) Recommendations: http://www.yaoiotaku.com/forums/threads/7213-crimson-spell-by-yamada-yugi-%5Beng%5D Read Wild Fangs Online: Wild Fangs Original name: Wild Rose Manga ALT. names: ワイルドローズ Original run: 2007 Description: The sequel to Wild Fangs, this chronological prequel follows Mao's brother Kiri's and his master's backstory. Manga-type: Manga Written by: Yamagishi Hokuto Drawn by: Yamagishi Hokuto Published by: Gentosha Group(s) Scanlating: Nakama Status: Complete Completely Scanlated: Yes Completely Translated: Yes Genres: Adventure, Drama, Fantasy Romance, Yaoi Categories: Drama, Bestiality, Master-Slave Main Characters: Kiri, Mikhail Adaptations available: - Related Series: Wild Fangs (Prequel), Wild Wind (Sequel) Recommendations: - Read Wild Rose Online: Wild Rose Original name: Wild Wind Manga ALT. names: ワイルドウインド Original run: 2008 Description: From Nakama: Long ago in a distant land, when the heavens ruled the earth, the two of them met by a trick of destiny... Called the “Wise man of the woods” and given much respect by the villagers, ********* of heaven Olgrius is searching for the origin of the incessant outbreak of storms. Then a villager, speaking riddles of an attacking beast, appears. The being that Olgrius sees when he returns to the scene of the crime is a savage beast fallen from heaven. But the beast differs from the rumors—he touches Olgrius gently, and protects him from danger...!? Manga-type: Manga Written by: Yamagishi Hokuto Drawn by: Yamagishi Hokuto Published by: Gentosha Group(s) Scanlating: Nakama Status: Complete Completely Scanlated: Yes Completely Translated: Yes Genres: Adventure, Drama, Fantasy, Romance, Yaoi Categories: Drama, Bestiality Main Characters: Olgrius, Shui Adaptations available: - Related Series: Wild Rose (Prequel) Recommendations: - Read Wild Wind Online: Wild Wind Download Wild Series: New Download Links Wild Wind Link Wild Rose Link Wild Fangs Link For download reupload requests, please post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

Title: I Just Want To Be Loved - Aisaretai Dake Nanoni Author/artist: Miyamoto Ako Genre: Comedy, Yaoi Warnings: Questionable consent Groups scanlating: The Moon In A Box Status: Oneshot (Complete) Year: 2010 Download I Just Want To Be Loved Manga: Download link For download re-upload requests, post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

Original name: Hanakage No Kioku Manga ALT. names: 花影の記憶, Flower Shadow's Memory Written by: Mieno Saori Drawn by: Mieno Saori Original run: 2007 Description: Arthur and Laurent were childhood friends that grew up together, but they had the difference of a noble and servant status. As they grew older, they came to understand the difference in their stations. Although both of them have affections for each other, such feelings could not be accepted... Manga-type: Published by: Taiyo Tosho Group(s) Scanlating: Bliss & Nakama Status: Complete Completely Scanlated: Yes Completely Translated: Yes Genres: Drama Categories: Master-Slave Main Characters: Arthur, Laurent Adaptation based on: N/A Recommendations: Yuuutsu na Asa, Nidome no Yakusoku, Mitsu no Tsumatta Joushi, Uchi no Darling Eikoku Shinshi Read Hanakage No Kioku Online Hanakage No Kioku Download Hanakage no Kioku Manga: Download link For download re-upload requests, post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

Original name: Innocent Blue Manga ALT. names: イノセントブルー Written by: Yukishiro Marie Drawn by: Ogawa Azumi Original run: 2008 Description: Mizuhara Kana is staying together with his cousin, Shuuya. Kana has a weak heart and Shuuya has been taking care of him. Somehow, Kana felt like a bird locked in a cage and hoped to have some breathing space. A coincidental meeting with the transfer student, Aoi Rin, changed Kana’s life. He fell head over heels into this first love. The mysterious Aoi taught him about the freedom outside the cage, but the risk that came along with this freedom could cost Kana’s life. The love story of a bird flying out of the cage during the summer, will Shuuya rescue Kana in time? Manga-type: Manga Published by: Gentosha Group(s) Scanlating: Attractive Fascinate Status: Complete Completely Scanlated: Yes Completely Translated: Yes Genres: Drama, School Life Categories: Rape Main Characters: Mizuhara Kana, Shuuya Adaptations available: N/A Recommendations: Loveless: Ephemeral Bonds, Kono Yoru no Subete Read Innocent Blue Online Innocent Blue Download link removed by scanlator's request

Summary: The band is in a meeting planning a performance in an Art Gallery. They discuss the clothes they'll get. After the meeting, Hyde ends up at Ken's place and bedroom. Status: Complete :hamtaro-005 (10): Hyde :hamtaro-005 (22): Tetsu :hamtaro-005 (12): Ken :hamtaro-005 (13): Sakura Rated 18+ for naughty language. “Okay, I called this meeting so we can discuss possible gimmicks we can do for our show next week.” Tetsu adjusted his glasses and clasped his hands together then looked at his companions. Ken was making smoke circles with his cigarettes. Hyde was making a concoction of soda pop and strawberry milk. Sakura was sleeping. “Guys?” Tetsu pretended to ignore their antics for the third time in a row since he announced the meeting. “Why don’t we get some sexy girls do some kind of a cabaret show while we are singing and then they’ll start doing acrobatic moves on us or at the audience then of course they should have cigarettes while they’re at it?” Ken looked at him momentarily putting off his cigarette. “No. You can’t do that, man. That’s just so wrong. There could be kids and lots of old people there and they’re going to get weird and stuff.” Hyde shakes his head and is now tasting his milk soda concoction. “You talk about weird, what the hell are you drinking??” Ken looks at him like Hyde grew another head but suddenly develops a curiosity with Hyde’s little formula. “Sakura?” Tetu looks at the sleeping drummer. “Huh? What? Sure, yeah. Right.” Sakura suddenly is jolted. “So you have something to say?” Tetsu tries to focus at him while trying to avoid looking at the two knuckleheads fighting over Hyde’s mystery drink. “Just one sip, Haido!! What the hell?” Ken is leaning over the shorter man. “DAME! ZEN ZEN DAME!!!” Hyde hugs the tall blue glass to himself. “You selfish short bratty spoiled stuck-up little prick stunted cute-faced little runt!!” Ken yelled. “Oh haha! You just had to say cute-faced, ne?” Hyde grinned. “I always knew you love me Ken-chan.” Hyde stuck out his tongue. “I threw in the cute face so you could give me that damn drink!” Ken demanded. “No!” Hyde is threatening to drink it all to Ken’s horror. “Hand it over!” Ken contested. “No. I made it. You said it was weird. What’s your problem? Leave me alone you overgrown horny perverted chimney-like hot booze-headed sex-crazed idiot monster you!!!” “AHAHAHAHAHAH!!! YOU SAID HOT!!!” Ken almost fell back on his seat. “SHUT UP AND I’LL TOTALLY DRINK ALL OF THIS!” Hyde raised the blue glass with a smirk. Ken immediately looked pale. “FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!! CUT IT OUT BOTH OF YOU PSYCHOS!! DEMMIT!!!” Tetsu stood up and slammed the table and looked crazily at the warring duo. Ken raised his hands in surrender. Hyde puffed his cheeks but still holding onto the tall blue glass securely. “Can we please have a decent meeting for once? This will take just a few minutes of your precious time then you can do whatever it is you’re doing.” Tetsu sat down and tried to sound as gently as possible. “What is that Haido-chan?” Tetsu pointed at the precious possession at the vocalist’s clutches. “It’s soda milk.” Hyde showed him a peek through his fingers while holding the blue glass. “And he won’t even let me taste it.” Ken interjected. “Ken-chan….” Tetsu pleaded. “Oh okay.” Ken rolled his eyes. “Will you let me taste it?” Tetsu eyed him. Hyde looked down and smiled and pushed the tall glass at Tetsu. The bassist took a straw and sipped and slowly pushed the tall glass back to the grinning vocalist. “How was it?” Ken eyed him curiously. “It tastes like….” Tetsu pursed his lips. “Like what?” Hyde’s eyes rounded. “Later.” Tetsu waved at them. “Awwwwww, man…..” Hyde and Ken chorused. “So can we have our meeting now?” Tetsu was actually trying very hard to swallow the drink. It tasted like crap but he didn’t have the heart to tell Hyde. He probably will tell Ken later or maybe not. He couldn’t risk getting Ken on a field day harassing poor Haido-kun either. “Guys?” Tetsu looked at them pleadingly. “hai....” Hyde and Ken chorused again but in a resigned voice. “Okay the thing is we have been invited to this party. Well, actually it’s a art gallery thing and they are doing an exhibition for Takamiya Nogoya’s works.” “Who’s that?” Ken frowns. “He’s an artist, you dumbass!” Hyde baps his head. “Of course, I know he’s an artist but who is he really?” Ken retaliates by tugging Hyde’s hair. “ITAI!” Hyde yells. “GUYS!!” Tetsu ran a very agitated hand to his hair. They keep up with this, we are never going to accomplish anything, I swear. Whatever possessed me to form a band in the first place? WHAT? Oh yeah, because I couldn’t wait to get out of high school. Oh good decision, Tetsu-sama. You’re the coolest! “So as I was saying, this art exhibition is a showcase of Takamiya Nogoya’s works. Now all I know about this guy is he’s an old man. Most of his works have been compared to Picasso. So yeah, he’s that good. He also has a thing for indie bands and has a reputation for supporting them. That’s where we come in.” “Have you met him?” Hyde looks at him curiously. “No I have not. That’s all the information I got from the booker.” Tetsu adjusted his glasses as he took out his yellow notebook. “This is an art gallery show. Aren’t there usually a lot of snobs in those places?” Sakura pulled out a cigarette. “I don’t really know for sure but I’m sure there will be different types of people there. Basically they’re there for the works as well as the music.” “Hmmmm….works, music, lots of people…so that means….FREE FOOD?” Hyde beams. “Gods! Isn’t that all you ever think about? With that tiny body of yours, I wonder where you stuff all your food.” Ken sneers at him as he takes another drag in his cigarette. “I’ll be the judge of that.” Hyde makes a straight face at him. “So I thought we need to do prepare for this occasion. We have about 5 to 6 sets to play. Nothing too loud and just the usual slow tracks we play. I’ve already noted what those songs would be and we’ll practice them later. For now we need to decide what our theme would be.” “Oh you mean what we will wear for the occasion?” Sakura looks at him. “Yeah.” Tetsu nods while looking at his notebook and underlining DORESU. “Oh that’s easy! I’ll dress up as a vampire!” Hyde smiles at them. “Vampire? That’s an art show not HALLOWEEN!” Ken looks at him as if Hyde grew another head. “Well, I’m sick and tired always dressing up in those frilly clothes with all these gunk and ribbons and stuff in my hair. I want to be a VAMPIRE, OKAY? IS THAT SO HARD?” Hyde punctuates each word while poking Ken’s shoulder then looks at Tetsu wearing the most adorable smile he could offer. “Tet-chan, can I be a vampire, please?” “Huh?” Tetsu is suddenly face to face with a very pinchable Haido. How now, brown cow? Hyde wanting to be a vampire in an art show is totally out of place but aren’t vampires artistic too? Hmmmm…I remember reading about this in high school. I know…but if he dresses up as a vampire, what will that make us? A vampire lair? A vampire den? A bat cave? Are we all going to dress up as vampires like him? They might kick us out of the party. Plus I am sooooooooooo not vampire material. “Tet-chan?” Hyde sounded hopeful. “Anou…I’ll think about it.” Tetsu flashes him a tight smile. Hyde sits back and crosses his arms and frowns. “You’re just saying that but you don’t want me to dress up as a vampire.” “Haido…” Tetsu shakes his head uneasy with Hyde’s pouty behavior. Sakura stands from his seat and joins Ken and Hyde on the couch. He puts his arm around Hyde as if consoling a little child. “I don’t think it’s the time and place to dress up as one, Haido. Although I’m pretty sure you’d make a very good-looking vampire-chan.” “You really think so?” Hyde smiles. “Yeah I think so.” Sakura nods. “I think you’d make a gorgeous vampire too, Saku-chan.” Hyde leans closer. “I have a better idea!” Ken crushes his cigarette on the Stop Smoking or Die ashtray. “What?” Tetsu gives him his full attention. Sakura and Hyde also look at him. “Let’s do some body paint. It’s an art thing, ne? So that’s what we’ll do. Or we could role play. I’ll dress up as an art dealer.” “I didn’t know art dealers had a dress code.” Sakura chuckles. “Yes they do.” “No they don’t.” Sakura shakes his head. “Well I’m sure they do and I’m dressing as one. No contest.” “If you’re an art dealer, what am I?” Tetsu frowns. “You could be a curator!” Ken points at him. “So curators have dress codes too?” Sakura was trying to control himself from bursting in laughter. “Yes they do. What do you say, Tet-chan?” Ken grins. “Hmmm….I’ll think about it.” He had to admit at least Ken’s idea though a bit surprising but at least it wasn’t as bad as Hyde’s. He could be curator, whatever that was. “And you my friend!” Ken looks at Sakura. “Yeah?” “You’ll be the work of art!” Ken smirks at him. “I’M A WHAT?” Sakura looks at him aghast. “You’ll be the work of art. There will be some body painting done on your body so basically you’ll be half-dressed in the venue. Don’t worry, man. Hey! It’s not like you haven’t done that before.” “I had random characters written on my face which screamed Perversion, thanks to you.” Sakura rolled his eyes. He remembered waking from a nap during one of their gigs on the road then getting dragged out of the bus by Ken. He also remembered how a mother screamed at him and how strong was that old woman who beat him with a stick. If Ken wasn’t such a good friend, he’d be long dead and gone for what he drew on his face that time. Good times.

Kenta I was going to kill him. What the fuck was he doing? Having sex with me while I was sleeping? What the hell? I wanted to move, but I felt pinned, my ass throbbing. Fuck. “Ryuu . . . get off me.” He didn’t say anything and didn’t move either. I raised my head again looking at him over my shoulder. He had his head down, his hair covering his face. “I . . . I’m sorry. I thought . . . I just . . .” Fuck it all to hell. He was crying. “Ryuu . . . you need to wake me up if you want to do this.” “I-I know, I’m sorry. I’ll get off of you now.” I gasped tensing as he started to move and heard him gasp. “Ke-Kenta don’t do that. I can’t move.” “Can’t move? Why?” I managed through gritted teeth. It felt entirely too large to have actually fit in the first place and right now I wanted it out. The stinging was intense as was the pressure. “You . . . you’re tensing up too much . . . you’re hurting me.” “Wha . . .” I was hurting him? “How am I hurting you?” He leaned down and sliding his hand under my hip grabbed my cock and squeezed hard enough it made me yelp. “Like that.” Since when was Ryuu so cruel? He sounded almost irritated. I shuddered trying to get myself to relax except he hadn’t taken his hand off me but was instead slowly stroking me. The pleasure felt more intense after the pain for some reason. “Do you really not like this? Not like being with me like this?” “Tha-that’s not it.” “Then what is it?” I couldn’t really think straight at the moment and it wasn’t very fair of him to be asking me all these questions like we were having a normal conversation. How was I supposed to react, getting woke up like this? He was lucky I hadn’t punched him after the dream I’d been having. “I . . .” How was I supposed to tell him that letting him do this made me feel emotions I’d never in my life felt before. Emotions that I’d always scoffed at in others. He shifted and I bit my lip feeling the pull. Fuck, that felt weird, I could feel the pressure against my tail bone and it was kind of freaking me out. Just how far in was he? “It’s not that I don’t like it . . . I’m just not sure how I feel about it yet.” He murmured something I didn’t catch and I gasped as he slid back. Was he getting off me? No, no he wasn’t. Oh holy shit. “Oh shi-it. Ry-Ryuu.” He let go of my cock and I felt him lean down, his chest against my back. His breath was warm on my cheek. “Kenta . . . do you really want me to stop? Remember how good it was yesterday? Don’t you want that again? I can make it even better.” My skin felt like it was crawling. Better? How could it be better? I gasped my head coming up as he came back down. “God you are so tight.” Hands grabbed my hips and suddenly he was moving faster. At least this time it was sliding in and out easier, there was no pain at all. Just this incredible pleasure that would spike each time he thrust into me. Okay, yeah this was better. I realized I was moaning with each movement of his hips, but I couldn’t stop myself. It was impossible, it simply felt too good. Before I even realized it I was coming all over the place shouting his name. I heard him moaning and then there was suddenly extra warmth all through me. Holy fuck. He’d just come inside me. He slumped down against me. I could feel him trembling and soft lips brushed my ear then my neck. “I’m sorry for not waking you first, but after yesterday I was afraid you’d never let me top again. I just wanted to show you that it could be good.” I sighed. “I enjoyed yesterday. Even if my ass was so sore it was hard to sit.” I sucked in a breath as he pulled out. I felt rather sticky now, that slickness dripping down the insides of my thighs. My skin was tingling, my muscles still twitching. My heart was pounding like fucking mad and there was an odd pressure in my chest. I blinked a few times not sure what to do about the stinging behind my eyes. What the fuck was wrong with me? So my boyfriend fucked me, wasn’t that how it was supposed to work? I shivered as he pulled me over onto my side, hugging me to him. I met his eyes for just a moment, the grey seeming unreal. The pressure in my chest suddenly exploded into full blown pain. Why did he want to be with me? I was nothing but a fucking thug. I didn’t even realize I’d said anything till he frowned. “Why what?” I fumbled for words. Nothing new there. “Why me?” “Kenta . . .” He suddenly looked pained, his brow furrowing. “I love you, like I’ve never loved anyone in my life. I would do anything for you. I just want to make you happy and see you smile. Making love to you is just one way of showing you just how much I love you and want to be with you.” Making love. “Kenta . . . are you upset with me.” I looked up at him realizing I’d not said anything for a while, too lost in my own thoughts. I shook my head. “No . . . not upset . . . just confused.” “About us? Or about sex?” “Umm . . . both?” He pulled me tighter against him. His warmth made the pain fade into a softer heat that wasn’t as unbearable. “It’s okay to be confused Kenta, but if that is the case, please talk to me. I don’t like not knowing what you are thinking. You scared me yesterday. I thought you were upset and had left because of what we’d done.” I wanted to smack him. “If you thought I was mad about it why the hell did you jump me this morning?” He nuzzled his face into my hair. “You naked in my bed is just begging to be jumped.” “And if I’d reacted badly?” “I would have cried for a while and never done it again.” That sobered me up a bit. I never wanted Ryuu to think that this relationship only went one way. “Kenta . . . who is Rame?”

Just wanted to inform everyone that Google was hacked and some searches will redirect to malware sites, so be careful when doing searches!!! To block known malware sites go to http://www.filehippo.com and get peerblock (it's free) the list of known sites is here

Title: Omerta ~Chinmoku no Okite~; オメルタ Omerta ～沈黙の掟～ Release Date: 22 April 2011 Omerta ~Chinmoku no Okite~ オメルタ～沈黙の掟～ is the latest Boys Love game by Karin Entertainment. Plot: Omerta is defined as a code of silence practiced by the Mafia; a refusal to give evidence to the police about criminal activities. Set in future Japan. Film-noir theme. Modern Tokyo is now a dystopian immigrant city ruled by crime syndicates. Stirring passions between hot-blooded men entangled in hatred, love, betrayal and loyalty. They classified it under: Love and Revenge Hard BL Game (PILP) System Requirements: OS： Windows2000/XP/Vista/7 CPU： PentiumIII 600Mhz minimum （PentiumIII 1Ghz recommended） RAM： 256MB min （512MB recommended） HDD： 3．0GB min （4.5GB recommended） DirectX： DirectX 9.0 Download Links:Part 1 contains a .rar file with the patch on it. Join with HJSplit or 7zip Download Omerta ~Chinmoku no Okite~: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 After installing, copy paste the alsignup patch to the game install directory and just click the .exe icon. Note: Extract the files with winrar. Mount the iso with DaemonTools and install the game. Extract the patch (alsignup_100723b.exe) in the folder with the omerta.exe. Then double click on alsignup_100723b.exe *For a picture guide on how to install it, check this post (by ayachan94) *For Omerta's walkthrough (made by sarah3161) click here For download re-upload requests, post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

Title : Hatsu-koi, First Love Year: 2007 Country : Japan Language : Japanese Subtitle(s) : English Genre : Drama | Romance | Crime | Gay Themed Plot/Synopsis: Tadashi has fallen in love with his classmate, Kota, and doesn't dare to tell anyone. This destroys all hope he ever had of getting together with Kota. Thoroughly depressed, Tadashi meets a gay couple on the train. Hiroki and Shinji are fascinating... In Hatsu-Koi, director Imaizumi Koichi tells a story about coming of age, coming out and a gay marriage that is sprinkled with both love and comedy, at the centre of which is a teenager who doesn't yet know what he wants. Watch Hatsu-koi BL Movie Online: Hatsu-koi BL Movie Download Hatsu-koi BL Movie: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Join the files with HJSplit For download re-upload requests, post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

Title: Wonderful Days? Author/artist: Tenzen Momoko Genre: Yaoi Status: 1 Volume (Complete) Year: 2008 Read Wonderful Days Online: Wonderful Days Download: EDIT: Link removed due to scanlator's request. -- The Drama CD can be found here. -- Spin-Off: Lotus Eater Wonderful Days For download reupload requests, please post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

(cloudy's super duper simple non-bl poem) :msn_red_fox 2 FOOD LOVE You're like sugar Crystal grains So sweet Partner to my cup of bitter You're like coffee Black grains So strong Wakens me, like morphine You're like creamer White powder So fluffy Makes my burden, lighter You're like milk Thick and creamy Uhmmm, so yummy! Makes me feel like kiddie You're like dark chocolate Solid bar Tastes li'l bitter yet sweet Such mystery underneath You're like sponge cake Soft and foamy So craving Yet gives me a slice of cozy You're like soup Woooh!, so hot! In my cold days Embraced me of warmth You're like main course That everybody's waiting for Craving savory taste I'm lucky to be in first place But above all these Is a food that everybody needs That you must treasure and keep ME!, your RICE, indeed (hahahaha, i don't know how i came up with this, i wanted to wrote something simple but joyful LOVE poem, i was not able to reach that goal, that's why it results to this, (LOL ) (but i think this for about 2 days, lol) :leaf5:

Your writing is just so smooth. I can imagine every single detail in my mind as I read it. The vocabulary and way the sentences are formed, clear and full of meaning... Such quality work *.* You're the best, brohne. I was already fan of your drawings and now I'm also a fan of your writing. It's just too good of a plot, great characters, with proper development, with humor and action and drama. I'm not sure how too describe the form you write the love scenes, they are sweet and hot and steamy and contribute to the story instead of being just gratuitous porn (not that I don't like gratuitous porn, let's not lie to ourselves, but nothing compare to storyline-developing porn). brohneilovethiswantmoreloveyou foxy3

Kenta It was a week before I was able to follow up on any of the contacts Isao had given me. Only one turned out to have anything. It was not what I wanted to hear. “Your girl . . . she was paid by a runner. The guy behind it is keeping pretty much to the shadows, but don’t think Ito will be the only one targeted.” The voice over the phone sounded like sheet metal over gravel. Too much booze and cigarettes was my guess. The hacking cough every few sentences kinda gave it away too. “Any fucking idea on why?” “Don’t know and don’t give a shit. Who gives a flying fuck about some dumb ass band anyway? Stupid cock suckers are probably high half the time anyway.” That’s when I decided I didn’t fucking like this shit head, informant or not. The next name on the list found me standing outside a gay bar. I’d never been in one. Wasn’t real fucking thrilled about going into one either. I’m not gay. Er . . . okay so I fucking am. But only with Ryuu. Fucking hell this was stupid. I decided it wasn’t worth it and got back on my bike. “Hey cutie! Aren’t you coming in?” I jerked, tightening my chinstrap too tight and pinching myself. “Fuck.” “Oooh sexy bike for a sexy man.” I turned to see a . . . person walking toward me, hips swaying as long eyelashes batted at me in a way that was a completely fucking disgusting. It took me several long moments to realize I was looking at an escort. A male escort. He smiled at me in a way he probably thought was sexy. Ryuu had him beat hands down and without any of the obvious effort. “Why don’t you come inside with me? I’ll show you a good time.” “If by good time you mean I get to beat the shit out of you for the sheer fucking hell of it, then fine.” His eyes widened and he paled, the lipstick smeared lips trembling slightly. He backed away so fast I thought he was going to fall on that barely covered ass. Teach him to solicit minors. I shook my head and revving the bike took off. I’d look somewhere else for the info I needed. I had other contacts. They might know something. They didn’t but said they’d keep their ears and eyes open. I sighed and closing my phone leaned back against my bike as I looked out at the ships slowly chugging their way toward the docks. I wasn’t getting anywhere and the boys were in danger. Serious danger from the sound of it. Who would target them and why? Maybe I should go back and talk with Isao. He seemed to have the best contacts. I shifted to get more comfortable, the heat from the engine searing through my jeans. As much as I needed the help, I wanted to do this on my own. I wanted to protect Ryuu and the boys. I was their body guard. It was my responsibility. I’d already let Ryuu down so many times. I wanted to get this right. I looked down as my phone started ringing. I raised my eyebrows seeing the number. Why was she calling me? “What?” “You’ve got a problem.” “Like I fucking need another one. What’s going on?” “Obuchi made parole.” I blinked a couple of times. “What?” “You heard me. Keep an eye out. I might be your parole officer but I’d rather not see you get killed. He still talked about you. His parole officer said to warn you after what happened. I don’t know that he’ll do anything, but . . . just be careful Kenta.” I suddenly felt cold, the breeze off the ocean chilling me even with the heat from the bike behind me. “Hai . . . thanks.” “Yeah no prob. Take care of yourself kiddo.” Hanging up I shoved the phone into my pocket and looked out over the water. I couldn’t shake this unsettled feeling like I was falling while still standing still. There was too much going on. I needed time to sit down and think. I just needed some fucking time. Why did he have to get out now? Like I didn’t already have enough going on. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Rame was out of prison.

Ryuu He stiffened and suddenly was shoving me away. I sat up, my heart beating a little too fast. Was he upset with me? He got up, took one step and promptly collapsed. I jumped up ready to help. “Kenta! Are you alright?” “I’m going to fucking beat you Ryuu.” I sank back in the bed at the low growl a sudden ache blossoming in my chest, my body numb. “Don’t ever wake me up like that again.” “H-hai.” I tried to keep the tremble out of my voice. I’d fucked up big time letting my emotions get the better of me. It was just . . . I wanted to be with him, wanted to give him that kind of pleasure. Deep down I knew I’d been selfish, taking without asking. A nasty little voice in the back of my head kept telling me that it was fine, he’d enjoyed it even if he was complaining now, didn’t I deserve to get to have that kind of pleasure too? I shook my head trying to silence it. No. It was wrong of me. I should never have taken advantage of him like that. That was something Naoki would have done. Even if I’d thought he wanted it, I should have woke him first and made sure. Kenta had got back to his feet and was wobbling in the direction of the bathroom. I felt my throat tighten. I hadn’t even made sure he was alright from yesterday. What kind of person was I? Was I really that self serving and self centered? I had to make it up to him somehow. Flinging back the covers I jumped out of the bed, following him into the bathroom. I cringed hearing him hiss in pain as he bent to start the tub. Going over to the cabinet under the sink I got a couple of washcloths. I turned back to see him looking at me, a guarded expression on his face. I looked down at the tile. “Ken-“ “Go back to bed Ryuu.” I shook my head. “I’m sorry. It was selfish of me and I’m sorry. Are you alright?” “No I am not.” I bit my lip hard enough there was a slight metallic tang on my tongue. I’d hurt him. My beautiful, caring, sweet Kenta and I’d hurt him. Could I be any more horrible? I was despicable, utterly and completely. I was no better than Naoki. “Ryuu . . .” A soft sob slipped free and I desperately tried to get myself back under control. I needed to take care of him not stand around crying like some whiny bitch. “Ryuu, you didn’t hurt me, well . . . not that much. That’s not what I was talking about. Where did you hear the name Rame?” I slowly lifted my head, afraid to meet those devastatingly beautiful eyes. That name upset him? All the more reason to know who it was then. I managed to get myself back under control. “You . . . when . . . um just before you woke up you said ‘no Rame’. It shocked me a bit.” Those dark eyes bored into me for what seemed like an eternity before he grunted and turned away. “He was my cellmate in juvie for a while.” “Oh . . . did he-“ “Drop it Ito.” There was no room for discussion when he used that tone. He was not going to talk about it and nothing I said was going to change that. I nodded slowly and walking over took his arm and helped him into the tub. He sighed, his eyes closing as he laid back. I dipped the cloth in the water and gently ran it over his shoulders and chest. He twitched slightly and opened his eyes. “Just relax. I’m sorry about what I did. It was unfair of me. I should have woke you.” “You are fucking lucky I didn’t knock the shit out of you.” I nodded, my eyes suddenly stinging. I quickly wiped at them hearing a soft knock on my bedroom door. “Sorry the guys must be here.” Kenta grunted. “What time is it anyway?” I glanced around. “Oh . . . eleven.” “Eleven? In the morning? Fuck Ryuu, you barely let me sleep an hour.” “Oh . . . I-I’m sorry. You can go back to bed if you want.” Leaving him the rag I grabbed myself a pair of pants and pulled them on. He really was mad at me. There was no mistaking it. It made me feel sick, a cold ache in my stomach. I opened the door and slipped out of the room, closing the door softly behind me. Sora was walking down the hall away from me, but turned back. “Hey, I wasn’t sure if you were up yet.” Sora’s smile instantly faded as he looked at me. “What’s wrong?” I looked down, not sure if I should say anything. Sora was one of my very best friends, but for the first time I didn’t want to say anything. I was simply too ashamed of what I’d done. “Nothing, just didn’t sleep too well. Kenta just got home a little bit ago.” “Oh, sorry for getting you up then.” I shook my head and then had to brush the hair out of my face. “No, I needed to get up. I’m going to go get some breakfast.” Kenta slept most of the rest of the day. Everyone was over and we were all sitting in the studio discussing how to fix one of the songs we were having trouble with. I looked up as the door opened, Kenta poking his head in. “Hey Kenta! You woke up!” Hasu jumped up, walking over to him. “Can we spar tomorrow? I’ve got some free time.” Kenta opened the door fully and stepped inside. His eyes flickered over to me for just a moment and then he was smiling at Hasu. “Sorry, I gotta work.” “Oh . . . maybe another day then.” “Sure.” Kenta ruffled his hair affectionately and I was shocked at the stab of jealousy. What was wrong with me?

Ryuu I woke in a slight panic. Kenta hadn’t come home last night . . . or rather this morning. I’d stayed up as late as I could but had finally crashed out on my bed. I went to sit up and realized I was no longer laying on top of the covers and something was weighing them down beside me. My eyes widened and I gasped softly seeing Kenta asleep beside me. He was lying on his stomach, the pillow bunched up under his head. Slowly, almost afraid to touch him, I moved the strand of hair covering his eyes. He looked so peaceful and it made my chest ache looking down at him. My relief was so profound it almost made me cry. He was here. Here beside me. Snuggling back under the covers I curled up next to him, just watching him sleep. His hair was still wet and he smelled of my shampoo. I couldn’t stop myself from sliding my hand along the smooth contours of his back and was a little surprised to find that he was only wearing boxers. He never went to bed without wearing both boxers and pajama pants and socks usually. At least he never had when he’d stayed over before. It was entirely too tempting and I wondered if he’d done it on purpose. Why else would he come to bed mostly naked? Licking my lips I moved closer shivering as my erection brushed the smooth skin of his leg. Sliding my hand further down I rested it on his lower back, just above the waistband, waiting to see if there was any reaction. He didn’t so much as twitch. Grinning to myself I slipped my hand lower under the fabric. His skin was so warm and still a little damp from his shower and I wondered how long he’d been asleep. Looking up at his face, there was still no change, his breathing as deep and regular as ever. He wasn’t as heavy a sleeper as Akira but he slept pretty soundly. Maybe I could surprise him. I wasn’t sure why, but I was feeling mischievous and dying to hear that voice again. Sliding my hand down further, I shivered lightly, my skin prickling in anticipation as my finger tip brushed over the area. I froze as he moved his leg a soft murmur coming from the full lips. He’d actually given me better access with the way he’d brought his knee up. I smirked and slid down along the slim form. Why did he have to have such an exquisite body? He was all smooth skin and perfectly sculpted muscle, the odd scar, but that just added interest. I wondered why he never got a tattoo like Jiro or Daisuike. I’d thought that was part of being part of the clan, but part of me was happy that he hadn’t yet. Maybe it meant it would be easier for him to leave it. Leaning down I kissed the smooth skin of his hip as I pulled the boxers lower. He smelled so good. Just the natural smell of him was enough to comfort me . . . or arouse me as the case was now. I resisted the urge to bite that smooth perfect rear, it was just so tempting it was actually making my mouth water. Instead I wet one of my fingers and slid it over his entrance. I wasn’t actually going to do anything, I more just wanted to see if I could wake him up, maybe if he still wanted to continue once he was . . . It slid in without so much as a sound and I shivered thinking about how incredible it had been to have him under me. He was just so tight, even now. I slowly worked my finger in and out and was slightly surprised to hear a low moan. Oh my god . . . I needed to record him sometime. I couldn’t . . . I had to have him. I didn’t want to wait any longer. Leaning up I felt around for the condoms and lube but only found the lube. Damn it. It would have to do for now. I shuddered gasping as I spread the lube over my erection making sure to use plenty. Working my finger around a few more times I slid it out. Crawling up over him I kissed his shoulder. Never had I felt so aroused by a lover. Maybe it was that I felt more connected to him emotionally than I ever had to anyone else. Slowly, gently I pressed against him unable to bite back the moan as I slipped inside. It wasn’t as difficult as it had been last time though it was still extremely tight. He was totally relaxed this time, unlike last time, and I was able to completely enter that incredible warmth. I had to stop once I was fully inside or risk coming right then. I hadn’t got it fully in yesterday, he’d just been too tight. The feel was unreal, the tight heat surrounding my whole length. It was like the heat from his body set my blood on fire, the rush shooting through me. I felt him tense suddenly, his body jerking. “No! Rame! No!” I gasped softly my elation evaporating. Who was Rame? Before I could move Kenta was twisting around the dark eyes blinking rapidly. His voice seemed a bit off, too high pitched and almost scared sounding. “What the fuck . . . Ryuu?”

Welcome to the forum!!! I hope you enjoy it here! You picked the best yaoi forum on the internet

“Okay now what about me? Who do I get to dress up as?” Hyde crossed his arms to his chest and giving Ken, ‘the evil eye’. “Haha! You my dear sweet darling Haido-sama will be THE PAINTER!” Ken gestured with his arms wide. “REALLY? I’LL BE A PAINTER! THAT’S THE COOLEST EVER!!! YOU’RE A GENIUS KEN-CHAN!!” Hyde clasped his hands and was now seeing Ken in a very different light. A very bright light actually blooming with flowers and feathers and sakura blossoms and humping rabbits on the backdrop. “Of course I know that. What do you think I stayed in college for?” Ken smirked with his hands on his hips now. “But you quit college.” Sakura raised an eyebrow at him and chuckled. “I did it for friendship.” Ken looked intently at Tetsu and put an arm around him and squeezed his shoulder for further emphasis. “Anou…you wanted to be in a band cuz this was a place to get a lot of girls, you moron.” Tetsu and punched him in the stomach. “Well that too.” Ken grinned like a Cheshire cat who caught a fish. “Haha! You are such a pervert, Ken-chan!” Hyde snickered and shook his head. “Oh yeah? Look who’s talking Mister-I-May-Be-Small-But-Not-In-Bed! I bet that’s all you ever say to anyone you try to score and you have the nerve to call me the pervert!” “I will take that as a compliment then.” Hyde crossed his arms and nodded his head confidently. “Isn’t it supposed to be like it’s not about the size but how you use it?” Sakura interjected. “Guys, maybe you ought to be thinking like it’s about who you use it for?” Tetsu frowned. He didn’t even know exactly what made him say it but he didn’t want to look like a prude. “Well at least I know who I use it for!” Ken grinned. “Me too!” Hyde smiled. Sakura just laughed. “Gyah! Enough with this pervert talk, so before we wrap up this meeting, it has been decided that we will all dress up according to Ken’s idea. We prepare 6 to 7 tracks for the show. We start practicing tomorrow at 9 AM. Please try not to be late again.” “Why are you all looking at me?” Hyde appeared confused. “Because you were late, little prince and because of you, we almost did not make it to the bus for Hokkaido for our gig there.” Ken leered at him. “I thought we were already okay on that. Why are you bringing it up again? Tet-chan….?” Hyde pouted and looked like he was going to break into tears at Tetsu. Tetsu blanched. He did not really mean to bring it up. It’s just that, well…okay…he did bring it up but of course he has forgiven Haido for it. The poor guy already learned his lesson. He just did not want a repeat of last time. It was not everyday they could be booked for a reasonable gig as this. For once, playing in art exhibit would be a sweet break from the live houses they usually frequented. Hyde continued to pout. “You still hate me. You still haven’t forgiven me.” “Now..now..Haido…of course, Tetsu-san has forgiven you. It’s just that none of us have been late for a gig except for you. But that’s all in the past now. Right, Ken?” Sakura tries to console Hyde using his deep sexy bedroom voice. “Yeah. Just so you remember that, you little brat.” Ken nodded. “Right, Tetsu-san?” Sakura looked at Tetsu. “Of course.” Tetsu smiled gently while looking at Hyde squeezing himself in Sakura’s arms as the drummer rubbed his back consolingly. “Are you alright now, Haido-chan?” Sakura looked down at the bundle (Hyde) attached to his arm. “I guess so. I’ll be good. I won’t be late like last time.” Hyde looked down. “That’s good, Hyde.” Tetsu smiled and tucked his yellow notebook in his pocket. “Anou…would it be okay if I stay at your place tonight, Tet-chan? That way I make extra sure that I’d wake up on time?” Hyde beamed. “Sorry, man. I’m afraid that can't be possible. My family will be visiting and they’ll be occupying the entire flat.” Tetsu looked anguished. “How about you Saku-chan?” Hyde looked at Sakura. “My place is very small and there is only one bed.” Sakura shrugged. “I promise I won’t take too much space.” Hyde smiled. “Yeah right! Before you know it, Sakura would be kissing the floor because of you. You sleep like a clock, Haido! You have your arms and legs spread out like an eagle. Not only that, you have the annoying habit of hogging the blanket to yourself and worse, YOU SNORE!” “I DO NOT! YOU’RE MAKING IT ALL UP! You should see yourself how you sleep! If I only had a camera, I’d have proof.” “Oh come on! You don’t! You’re just trying to turn this on me!” Ken waved him off. Sakura shook his head and lighted another cigarette as he watched the two bickering again. He never had a problem having the diminutive vocalist crash at his place whenever he pleased. He had the run of the apartment anyway. Maybe he ought to get a duplicate key for him. Note to self, make duplicate key for Haido-chan. :hamtaro-005 (8)::hamtaro-005 (18): "Okay remind me again why in the world did I end up here at your place?" Hyde poked Ken's back while Ken was opening the door to his apartment. "Because Sakura got a sudden call from his brother to meet him that's why." "I thought they didn't like each other much." Hyde followed him inside as they began to take off their shoes. "Yes they do. They're just not that icky mushy type." Ken placed the keys on the counter top table. "I wonder what it would be like if I had a sibling. I'd probably spoil them to death." Hyde mused. "I don't think so. You're such a brat, Haido." Ken snickered. "Not my fault!" Hyde pouted. "Just so you know the only reason i am sleeping in your pad because Saku-chan and Tet-chan cant be available and that I need to get be on time for our practice tomorrow." Hyde uttered matter-of-factly with his hands on his sides. "Yeah..yeah..." Ken took off his jacket and hanged it on the back of the door. "So where do i sleep?" Hyde smiles. "Duh? The floor of course! Just get the extra futon inside the cabinet to your left." Ken was patting his pants for his lighter. "WHAT?! YOU CANT MAKE ME SLEEP ON THE FLOOR YOU IDIOT! I'M A GUEST HERE!" Hyde looked at him aghast. Talk about hospitality. Ken may be a genius but he can be such an ass. "Guest? Are you out of your mind? You are forced to CRASH at my place so I could be your human alarm clock. I'm actually doing you a HUGE favor letting you sleep here and FYI! You can't be a guest. We've known each other far too long for us to go into this proper host and guest shit." Ken walked to his kitchen to get a cold beer. "Then why is there a cat on your bed?" Hyde pointed accusingly at the big ball of fluff nestled comfortably right smack in the middle of Ken's bed. "That cat has a name and it's Elizabeth. SHE has rights, you know. SHE lives here. You don't." Ken shrugged and took a swig of his beer. Hyde narrowed his eyes as he watched Ken opening the fridge for a can of tuna. Hyde shot another glance at the cat who has now woken up to see what the ruckus was all about. Elizabeth looks at Hyde. Man and cat are now locked in a staring battle. This goes on for another 30 seconds. Owner of cat notices the two still eye locked and shrugs and enters the kitchen to pour cold milk on Elizabeth's cup. BACK IN THE BEDROOM. Cat blinks. Hyde twitches. Cat stretches and simply jumps off the bed, walks out of the bedroom and enters kitchen and rubs herself on Ken's legs. Ken picks her up and rubs her back as she is positioned comfortably with her head tucked on his shoulder. Inside the room, they hear a yell. "WHAT THE HELL, HAIDO?!" Ken looks at him surprised. Elizabeth gives him the evil eye. "HAHA! I WON! I WON!!! VICTORIOUS!!! HAHA!!! NO ONE CAN BEAT ME!!!" Hyde was jumping and laughed triumphantly. Author notes: I hope you enjoyed this dizzy fanfic of mine which I wrote years ago. I posted this to distract everyone till I can post my promised Takumi-kun fic. Hehehe!

I love this quote: "It's YOUR room... YOU open it... Or shell we do it right here standing up? - Morinaga (Koisuru Boukun) I've attached an image too:

Original name: Kyuuketsuki ni Aisareru Houhou Manga ALT. names: 吸血鬼に愛される方法, How to Seduce a Vampire, Vampire ni Aisareru Houhou Written by: SHIMADA Nimosaku Drawn by: SHIMADA Nimosaku Original run: 2007 Description: Watanabe gathered up Mizuo's battered and bloodstained body, was forced to cooperate with the ensuing blood transfusion, and for his trouble was late for his part-time job, resulting in his termination. The mysterious Mizuo tells the now-unemployed Watanabe that he is a vampire, and offers Watanabe a position at his salon. Despite his feeling that Mizuo is a potentially dangerous partner, for some reason Watanabe cannot bear to be away from him... Manga-type: Manga Published by: Ookura Shuppan Group(s) Scanlating: N/A Status: Complete Completely Scanlated: Yes Completely Translated: No Genres: Drama Categories: Vampires Main Characters: Watanabe, Mizuo Read How To Seduce A Vampire Online (English) How To Seduce A Vampire Download How to seduce a vampire Manga Download (English) Download (Spanish) For download re-upload requests, post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

Title: Yamane Ayano Illustrations - Aya Author/artist: Yamane Ayano Scan source: Beautiful Soup Year: 2004 Download link -- Title: AYANO's Rough Illustrations Author/artist: Yamane Ayano Scan source: (?) Year: 2007 Download link -- Title: Trading Cards + Post Card Artbook + Viewfinder's Special Collector's Box Author/artist: Yamane Ayano Scan source: sunflower1343; Yasca Post Card Artbook + Special Download link Trading Cards Download link Manga series by Yamane Ayano For download re-upload requests, post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

Title: Graduation Year: 1999 This is a BL game that was released in September 1999. Though not fan-translated, it has an inbuilt option to play in English or Japanese. Download (MF Link): Graduation Windows XP Patch (only run this if you encounter problems opening the game) The game runs on Mac (OS 9, as far as I know) without adding any patch For download re-upload requests, post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

Title: Two Wolves And Their Sons - Kozure Ookami Author/artist: Inoue Satou Genre: Drama, Slice Of Life, Yaoi Warnings: Reversible couple Groups scanlating: Nakama Scanlation status: 3 Chapters (Ongoing) Status In Country Of Origin: 1 Volume (Complete) Year: 2009 Download Two Wolves And Their Sons Manga Complete For download re-upload requests, post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

Title: Sentimental Garden Lover Author/artist: Ogura Muku Genre: Drama, Fantasy, School Life, Slice Of Life, Yaoi Warnings: Animal Transformation, Master-Pet, Incest(?) Status: 1 Volume (Complete) Year: 2008 EDIT: Link removed because the scanlation group doesn't allow their projects to be shared of any site Read Sentimental Garden Lover Online: Sentimental Garden Lover -- The Drama CD can be found here. For download re-upload requests, post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

The Beach The wind I feel across my face Gives me such a sense of space. The ocean that’s so vast and wide Has such a very youthful tide. The sand that goes between my toes Feels so soft and always flows Towards the sea, the sun, the air The beach is where I stop and stare.

hmmm leme see is it a ragging smiley face? here is mine its cute and can only find a way to the persons mind

Hi guys! Hahaha my first post because I registered to this website after finding it by searching for "yaoi quotes". Hehehe. Anyway I'm collecting my own and I've put up some of them on my personal yaoi site so here're some of the quotes from one manga that I really love, among the many, many of them. lol From the manga Koujitsusei no Tobira by Shoowa (1)A conversation between Kai and Cys after they went shopping to buy some raddish and they happened to bump on Cys's ex-girlfriend. Cys here was so mad about what Kai had told the ex-gf so he told the kid after they got home: CYS: If you ever say that there's nothing between us again, I'll fuck you right where you stand. Me *giggles* (2) Then another convo during foreplay. Cys put on the lights in the room because he wanted to see the color of Kai's "hair" since last time they had sex for the first time, the lights were put off. CYS: "Now I can see what color it is." KAI: "You perverted old man!" CYS: "I already told you that I'm a dirty old man." (3) Last one, although you can check more from the quotes I collected for more good stuff, hehehe. This convo is between Jin and Cys, Jin is Cys friend and they live together in one apartment. Kinda. So anyway, Jin asked Cys about Kai. JIN: What's going on with you? Has your delinquent son straightened you out lately? CYS: Kai is a good boy. JIN: Mommy's actually worried that some old man is doing something acrobatic with him. CYS: *grin* Ok that's it for now! I hope you like what I shared! :D:D

super cute and......ok....now im hungry......:hamtaro-005 (21): but its very joyful love....i love how food and love is connected.....

wow...sugoi....i love it muchy muchy...:leaf15:

Welcome to the forum Sarah!! YaoiOtaku is way better than aarinfantasy:msn_red_fox 9

wah it's nice ...but where u get charcoal? your hand very dirty then )

Wow I am ashamed for thinking naughty lol foxy4

Oooooh!!! thank you so much for reading my sweet! and I LOVE your emoticons. so cute. I should try using one of those myself rabbit8 rabbit4 I'm so happy you loved this and made you laugh. I really enjoyed writing this. rabbit16

Hello Sarah! Welcome to the forum! Hope you'll enjoy your time spend here!

Kenta I woke slowly, blinking several times as I stared out at darkness. I felt disoriented and for a moment I didn’t recognize where I was. Ryuu’s bedroom, there was no mistaking the European style furniture. Ryuu was still wrapped around me, one leg and arm flung over me like usual. Turning my head I looked for the clock. Seven pm. We’d been sleeping pretty much all day. Well after this morning and last night and yesterday, sleeping for ten hours straight felt pretty damn good. I turned my head to look at Ryuu and felt a rush of so many different emotions it was fucking scary. I turned to look up at the ceiling feeling an odd pressure on my chest. Holy shit, I had actually let him fuck me and he had literally fucked me senseless. I’d never imagined I could go off that hard and for that long, I’d thought I was going to go fucking insane. The last thing I really remembered was the feeling of pleasure so intense it was almost painful and not being able to breathe. I gasped softly as my muscles clenched at the memory. That kind of hurt, but in an almost good way. I shook it off. Though the strange sensation of being empty was a bit disturbing, it was like I was super aware of the way my body felt now. Never had paid much attention before. Shifting around onto my stomach I pulled the covers back up. Ryuu mumbled something and wrapped himself back around me. He was warm but it didn’t stop the odd chill running through me. I was still surprised at myself. I’d fought so hard, nearly killed people to avoid doing exactly what had happened this morning. Ryuu had me doing things I would never have dreamed of doing before I met him. What was it about Ryuu? Why could he make me feel like this, this urgent need to please him, to see him smile, to do anything to make sure he was happy with me? It wasn’t anything like my desire to please Jiro, I respected Jiro and wanted him to be proud of me, to find me useful. With Ryuu . . . I wanted him to love me, to want to be with me. I really did. Closing my eyes I tried to get a handle on the strange sensation working its way up my chest. I hadn’t felt like this since Ayame . . . no this was different. I’d loved my sister, I still did. Some days I missed her so much it was hard to think. Turning my head on the pillow I looked at Ryuu. If anything ever happened to him . . . just the thought had my heart clenching painfully in my chest making breathing difficult. I couldn’t lose another person I loved. Reaching out I ran my fingers through the silky hair. I almost had to laugh at myself. Did people usually get this mushy after having sex? Maybe it was just that I’d let him do what he wanted, let him do the one thing that had scared me. I’d never trusted anyone the way I trusted Ryuu. That in itself was kinda scary. I groaned hearing my phone starting ringing somewhere on the floor. It had been in my jeans pocket. Moving Ryuu off of me I sat up and winced as a jolt of pain shot up my spine. Oh . . . that didn’t feel so good and for a second I didn’t want to stand up. The phone was going to go to voicemail and I fucking hated checking my voicemail. Gritting my teeth I got to my feet, mildly surprised when there was no pain, and grabbed up my pants. Sitting back down, I fished the phone out of my pocket getting it answered just before the last ring. “Kenta, hey it’s Hayate. I know it’s your day off but I could use your help tonight. We’ve got a problem down in that area where you were attacked.” Well shit. I did not fucking need this today. Glancing down at Ryuu, I kept my voice low. “Why don’t you call the other guys? I was up all fucking night with Ryuu.” “I bet you were. He doing alright?” I glanced back at the sleeping figure. “Yeah, he’s fucking fine. You sure you need me?” “Yeah, you are one of our best fighters, you know that. Besides you’ve got a rep kinda like Suke. Just having you there will help. It’s those Fudoka punks again. Are you not feeling good or something?” I closed my eyes letting out a slow breath. “Nah, ‘m fine. Just . . . tired. Was on the bike for several hours last night.” “Oh, bet you are sore. That thing’s not made for long rides.” I almost snorted at that. Could take that a couple different ways. “Yeah, took Ryuu out for a bit so he could relax.” “That was nice of you. I do that for Isao when he gets in one of his moods. Usually works, though sex helps too.” I shivered, closing my eyes and took a careful breath. My voice was a bit strained and I wasn’t sure why I had a weird fluttering sensation in my stomach. “Yeah. What time you need me?” “Is now too soon?” “Nah, I need a shower and I’ll head that way.” “Thanks Kenta, see you in a bit.” I hung up feeling a bit disoriented. After last night-er this morning it felt like things shouldn’t be so . . . normal. I needed time to figure out these weird feelings, but there wasn’t time and part of me just wanted to shove it all down and forget it. It was odd to think doing something like that could affect me so much, emotions I’d never felt before surfacing. Emotions I had no idea how to deal with. I turned to look at Ryuu but he was still asleep, the blond hair spread out on the pillow. I put a hand to my chest as the ache seemed to intensify. What was wrong with me? Leaning down I hesitated just a moment before kissing him softly. How could this man make me feel so vulnerable, so defenseless? *** “There you are. I’d about given up on you.” I nodded, tossing my helmet onto the low couch and sat down next to it. My legs felt oddly weak and sitting on something soft was fucking nice after the hard seat on my bike. My ass was sore for more than one reason. “Sorry. Traffic was heavier than I thought.” I’d actually spent too long in the shower, the traffic was an excuse. I glanced up to see Isao peering at me from over the rim of his glasses. I hated when he did that. It was like he knew I was lying and was waiting for me to fuck up. The ride over had been tough. My whole body was sore not just my ass. It had taken a lot more concentration than normal as I’d ridden through town to get to the office. “We are about ready to leave.” Isao got up and walking over sat down next to me. “Are you alright? You look a bit pale.” “Huh? Yeah I’m fine.” “If you don’t feel up to this you should go on home.” I shook my head not sure why Isao was pretending to be concerned. Then again if I wasn’t at my best then I’d be putting them both in danger. “Well if you guys are ready, Korin just sent me a text. The Fudoka are meeting in one of the warehouses.” I got up and bit my lip to keep from gasping out loud. The twinges of pain came at the oddest times and never when I expected it. “Let me get my stuff.” I didn’t keep my knives at my place. I didn’t want them getting stolen. Going through the low entry past the set of desks where Isao and Jiro normally sat, I headed for the case where they were stored. I didn’t have a collection like Daisuike, but my set was nice. I glanced up as Isao came to stand beside me, his eyes running over the various blades. “You are limping.” I jerked my head up to look at him. I was? His eyes narrowed slightly and he turned to face me. Taking his glasses off, he leaned against the case. “Are you still having problems from what happened?” I shifted willing myself to move normally and reaching out picked up my favorite switch blade. “No.” “Then what’s wrong? You didn’t hurt yourself carrying Ryuu last night did you?” Maybe that would be a good excuse. I shrugged not looking at him. “He’s not exactly light.” “Kenta . . .” I glanced back up startled when he put a hand on my arm giving it a soft squeeze. “Don’t be straining yourself, okay. I know it freaked you out, what happened to Ryuu. If you need someone to talk to, I’m here.” He gave my arm another gentle squeeze and walked off. I stared after him honestly shocked. Isao had just acted like a fucking person for once. He’d never been that nice to me. Ever. It made me wonder what was going on. Shrugging it off, I picked up two more knives and followed him out.

False :3 Next person wants to see pocky get eaten like THAT *points at amander123's signature*

I wasn’t, not by any stretch of the imagination, but if I didn’t do this now I never would. “I am.” He smiled and leaning down kissed me slow and deep as his weight settled over me. Hands grasped my hips pulling them up slightly and I resisted the urge to shove him away as I felt his cock slide between my cheeks. The pressure against my hole increased and kept increasing. I heard him murmur something about it being too tight but the pressure didn’t let up. He wasn’t going to hurt me. He wasn’t. He wasn’t. He was. Oh shit! Fuck! I was just getting ready to shove him off me when I felt the head suddenly slip inside the pain flaring then settled into a slight burning sensation. “Ryuu!” Had that high pitched squeak just come out of me? “Shhh, it’s alright. You are just so tight. I thought I had prepped you better than that. I’m sorry. It’ll get better.” I was breathing in short little gasps trying to stay in control. I tensed, unable to stop myself as he started to move forward again. Was it supposed to feel like this? He’d said if it hurt he was doing something wrong and right now it fucking hurt. “Kenta, you’ve got to relax or this will hurt.” He kissed my temple his hand rubbing along my side. “I am going as slow and gentle as I can.” “I-I know.” I did know, but it didn’t stop me from tensing up as he pushed forward. The pain was intensifying again and then suddenly it was like something had been breached and he slid all the way in without any further resistance. The burning sensation was still there but now I also felt oddly filled. “Shhh, shhh Kenta it’s okay, the worst is over. I’m sorry that hurt.” I blinked at him realizing that I’d been whining the whole time. Some fucking baby I was, he’d done this no problem and here I was crying and moaning like a bitch. I could not even begin to imagine how it would have felt to have been forced to do this. Even doing it willingly was difficult. I gasped grabbing his arms as he pulled back. That did not feel right. Instead of sliding out it was a pulling sensation. He came back forward and the pressure eased but as soon as he started to move back it was there and worse. It felt like he was going to pull all my insides out. “Ry-Ryuu.” I managed to open my eyes. He had his closed and this look of pure bliss on his face. I was torn between telling him I wanted to stop and letting him continue. Hopefully he got off soon because this was fucking uncomfortable. After just a few shallow thrusts he started to move a bit faster and started hitting deeper. I was gasping with each thrust and had to let go of his arms to grab the sheets. My whole body was shaking. I’d never felt anything like this before. I’d been literally nearly beat to death and somehow this hurt worse, a different kind of pain. That pain I could handle, this was making me frantic, but I didn’t want to upset Ryuu by asking him to stop. I could endure it. I would endure it. He grabbed my hips tilting them up more and I couldn’t stop the yell as he thrust even deeper, my legs flailing on either side of him. He took one of them and put it over his shoulder. The next thrust something changed, instead of just the pain, a sharp spike of pleasure shot through me making me gasp. “Oh fuck . . .” “That angle better?” Ryuu He nodded, not opening his eyes. I couldn’t believe he was still so tight after being prepped. I’d had a couple of virgin lovers in the past and neither of them had been this tight. I kept my thrusts slow letting him adjust more. He’d stopped that odd whimpering that had me wondering if I should stop. I couldn’t tell if it was in pain or pleasure and he wasn’t saying anything. If I was hurting him that bad surely he would tell me. No . . . no he wouldn’t. I stilled and looked down at him. He was sweating, his lips trembling, chest heaving as he clutched the sheets in a death grip. It was not worth it. I was not going to hurt him anymore. I knew entirely too well what it felt like to have a lover who only cared for their own satisfaction. I suddenly felt sick to my stomach. I should never have asked him to do this. He slowly opened his eyes and I was startled to see tears in them, my heart leaping into my throat. “Why’d you stop? It was just starting to feel good.” “Are you sure . . . you seemed like you were in pain.” “Fuck yeah, but its better now.” “Kenta! Why didn’t you say something sooner?” He glanced away and mumbled something I didn’t quite catch. “What?” I leaned down and he gasped tensing. “I-I said I didn’t want to ruin it. Fuck! Is it supposed to feel like that?” “Like what? Is it hurting?” I searched his face, concerned that he was in pain. “That one spot, when you hit it-“ He shivered, his muscles clenching down on me, painfully tight. It was worse than a cock ring. None I had got that tight. Spot? Oh, crap I’d totally forgotten to explain about that. I couldn’t help laughing softly and saw his lashes flutter as he opened his eyes again. I eased out and then back in hoping to hit just right for him. I must have because he gasped then moaned. “Fuck. Do that again.” So I did, repeatedly, until he was moaning and writhing under me. I’d never seen him like this, not even when he’d been on top had he been like this. I’d wondered if he’d been holding back and now I knew he had been. He’d wrapped those lithe legs around my waist and I could feel him tremble with each thrust. I had never been so turned on in my life. It wasn’t even the incredibly tight warmth surrounding my length, it was the knowledge that I was finally making Kenta lose control. “Ahh-ahh, Ry-Ryuu.” He was clawing at the sheets almost like he was trying to get away and I knew he had to be close. I slowed down my thrusts and stopped stroking him, wanting to draw out his pleasure, and mine, as long as physically possible. It kind of helped that he was so tight. It was making the pressure build and build but I could tell that it wasn’t going to release soon. He was whimpering softly and I wondered if I could get him to yell like he had at first. He was always so quiet during our love making. The whining pants got louder with each slow thrust, his back arching. I’d never in my life seen anything so gorgeous. From the way dark hair splayed out around his head to the parted lips and flushed skin, his muscles were taunt, each line perfectly defined. Leaning down I captured those delectable lips, his moan vibrating through me. I couldn’t go slowly anymore. My own need was becoming too insistent. My body seemed to act on its own, my thrusts getting harder and speeding up. I had to break the kiss to breathe, Kenta’s panting breaths hot on my neck. He started whining again, such a strange sound to hear from him. The soft cries got steadily louder with each thrust and I suddenly realized he was calling my name. His fingers were wrapped tight around my arms as his head tossed against the pillow. I couldn’t stop yet, I was so close. Reaching down I grabbed his erection giving it several quick strokes and he cried out his whole body convulsing. His legs tightened around me and I felt his muscles clench down just before he came with another loud yell. I gasped and with my own cry followed him over. Even through the blissful haze I could hear him whimpering, his body shuddering. He gave one last little whimper and was suddenly still his body going slack. Breathing hard I looked down at him. I could still feel the slight flutter of his muscles around my softening erection. His eyes were closed and he looked completely relaxed. Leaning down I kissed him, but there was no response. Startled I pulled back. Was he upset with me? I touched his face, but his eyes stayed closed and I realized his breathing was deep and even. Apparently he’d passed out. Laying my head against his I smiled feeling a bit overwhelmed. Now that was unexpected. I never would have imagined I’d have that much of an effect on him. In fact I didn’t remember any of my lovers ever getting to that point. I hadn’t myself either and I hoped he was alright. Easing off of him, I shuddered as I finally slipped free of that tight warmth. I was surprised when I looked down. He’d come so much. It was all over his chest and stomach and some on the sheets too. Smiling to myself I got up to go get a cloth to clean him up. He didn’t stir the whole time and I couldn’t help kissing him. Once we were both clean I slid into the bed next to him and pulled him close. “I love you Arakaki Kenta.”

We left a trail of clothes from the front door to the bedroom. The morning sun was streaming into the room, making the silk shimmer on the bed. Silk had nothing on his amazing skin. I wanted to caress and kiss every inch of him just to feel that softness against my lips. He sucked in a started breath as I lightly sucked on a nipple. I didn’t let go as I gently pushed him back onto the bed. He tried to twist away from me and I grabbed his hips holding him down. I switched to the other nipple as I slid a hand down between us. He had been hard for a while and I knew he had to be frustrated. Grabbing the shaft I slid my hand up and felt him shudder. “F-fuck.” It was softly breathed into my ear and I smiled feeling his hands slide down my sides to grasp my hips for a moment before running along my back. “Kenta . . .” I kept my voice low, nuzzling my face into his neck. “Can I ask you something?” “Mm.” “Would you let me top?” “You have.” “No, not like that . . .” His hands stilled and I felt him tense under me. He was silent for several long moments and I pulled back so I could look at him. His face was completely unreadable. “Kenta?” “Is that what you want?” I nodded, suddenly unsure. Naoki had never once switched. Ever. Just asking had lead to . . . unpleasant things. I knew Kenta had been through a bad experience in juvie, but this would be completely different. For one, I wasn’t going to force him to do anything. He had to want it. Really want it. “Only if it’s alright with you.” Something flickered deep in the dark eyes and he suddenly smiled at me, though there was a hint of trepidation in the look he gave me. “Well . . . it’s not fair of me to expect you to always be the one on bottom.” “Are you sure? I know you said that in juvie-“ “Ryuu . . . I don’t mind.” I smiled at him, unable to contain the sudden excitement bubbling up. How had I found such an amazing man? I slid back, but not before kissing him lightly. “I want you to tell me if anything hurts. It will be uncomfortable at first until you get used to it. If it hurts then I am doing something wrong.” “Oh? Okay.” He sat up on his elbows to watch as I finished stripping. I was shaking. Part of me couldn’t believe he’d so readily agreed. I’d expected him to protest and probably cuss me out. Once again he’d surprised me. Remembering something I went over and shut and locked the bedroom door. Turning back to him I grinned. “Just in case.” He laughed at that and nothing could have sounded sweeter in my ears. A true, genuine laugh from him was so rare and I would do anything to hear it. “First things first. Go to the bathroom.” “Eh?” He blinked at me. I put a hand on my hip, cocking my head to the side. It was so hard to control myself seeing him reclining naked on my bed, but I wasn’t going to rush this. “Kenta, think for just a moment.” He sat there for a second and then the cutest thing ever happened. He blushed, honest to god blushed. His cheeks turned pink as he sat up suddenly seeming self conscious. It made him look so vulnerable, something I’d never seen on him before. Where the hell was my camera? “Oh . . . umm, yeah okay.” I smothered a giggle behind my hand as he got up and headed into the bathroom. It gave me a chance to get the bed and other things ready. First I made sure to close the blinds so he would feel more comfortable. It dimmed the light in the room but there was still a bit of a glow, enough to clearly see by. The sheets were warm from the sunlight and felt heavenly, though nothing compared to his soft warm skin. Thinking about burying myself in that amazing body made my erection throb almost painfully. I was going to have to take this slow. I didn’t want to risk ruining his first time. By the time he came out of the bathroom I had everything ready. He barely met my eyes as he walked over to the bed and I saw him look at the things I had set out. He didn’t say anything. I stood up and pulling him close kissed him with all the passion I was feeling. He responded instantly, his mouth opening. I couldn’t hold back the moan as his tongue stroked my lips. Shuddering I drew back. My voice was a bit husky with emotion as I gestured to the bed. “Lay down.” He raised an eyebrow at me but did as I asked. He looked so gorgeous lying on the cream sheets, from the smooth skin and defined muscles to the deep ebony eyes and tousled hair, it was like sensory overload just looking at him. I barely knew where to look. “You are so beautiful.” He shook his head with a soft chuckle. “Ain’t the right word.” “No, it’s perfect.” I crawled on to the bed to hover over him. “You are beautiful inside and out.” I kissed him gently, not letting him protest my statement. I would prove to him someday that I was right. Kenta Part of me wondered why I’d agreed, but it wasn’t like I’d lied. It wasn’t fair of me to expect him to always be on the receiving end. I might be new to this type of relationship, but it just seemed right to return the favor . . . so to speak. Plus, he’d had a pretty fucking bad night and I wanted to do something to make it up to him. This seemed like a good way to do it. Besides, I was a bit curious as to how it felt. He seemed to enjoy it, so it couldn’t be bad. Right? He was kissing down my chest and attacking my nipples again. Fuck! How could that turn me on so bad? Just when I thought he was going to leave them alone, his mouth moving down further, he started pinching them lightly. All the sensations combined where starting to make me squirm. “Fuck! Ryuu! Stop teasing!” “It’s not teasing, it’s called foreplay.” He was laughing at me. I gasped as warm fingers wrapped around me. “See it’s working, you’re already dripping.” “Ha-oh . . .” I lost my train of thought as he started stroking me, his thumb rubbing across the tip. I barely realized what he was doing as he moved my legs. I blinked as he suddenly appeared over me, his hand still lazily stroking me. “This might feel a little cold at first, but just try to relax, okay?” I nodded a little confused and he smiled at me before leaning down to kiss me again. Too soon he was moving away. There was a pop of something being opened and I felt fingers slide along my balls. The cool slick feeling made them draw up a bit. His other hand kept slowly stroking me as the fingers slid back further. I suddenly realized I was starting to shake and forced myself to calm down. It was Ryuu, no one else. Rame was long gone. He couldn’t ever do anything to me again. I gasped softly as Ryuu’s finger slid over the entrance. That felt . . . odd. There was the sensation of pressure and then nothing. I opened my eyes, not sure when I’d shut them and raised my head to look at Ryuu. The look in his eyes was so soft I almost didn’t know what to think. “Did that hurt?” “What?” “When I put my finger in?” “It’s in? Holy shit!” I gasped as he wiggled it. I hadn’t even felt it go in. He pulled it back slightly and that was when I could really feel it. “That is so fucking weird.” He laughed. “Well, it’s not so bad? Right?” “No.” He slid it in and out several times until I was getting used to the feel. “Okay I’m going to insert two now.” I nodded slowly, watching him. The second one I definitely felt. I was starting to shake again, mostly from nerves. I was breathing hard by the time he had three in. I could tell he was being gentle and going slow, but it was a lot to get used to all the sudden. He had kept up his slow strokes on my cock, but it wasn’t enough to get me off and I was too distracted by what his fingers were doing. “You are amazing Kenta, you know that.” His voice was soft, almost a whisper and he reached up to brush the hair back from my face. “I love you so much. If you are ready . . .”

Kenta This was not even fucking funny. I’d finally managed to get out of the bed after Ryuu had literally tried everything from holding me down to pouting. It wasn’t going to work right now. I wasn’t about to let him ruin his career over something as fucking stupid as me. I was glad I’d thought to take a shower before I woke him up or I’d never have been able to get ready. He was still pouting when I finished making breakfast. Curled up on the couch in front of the giant flat screen, he wouldn’t look at me. The news was on and I was getting sick of hearing the comments about the two of us. There was all kinds of speculation as to what was actually going on in the pictures. One woman saying that it looked like Ryuu was forcing himself on me. I almost snorted at that, as if he could. Sighing, I set the tray on the coffee table and grabbing the remote turned the TV off. “Ryuu , we need to talk about this.” He looked up at me and after a moment leaned forward and jerked the remote out of my hand. “I know how to handle this Kenta. I already talked to Nakamara. I was supposed to do a radio show tomorrow anyway, so we are just going to keep that scheduled. Honestly you are making too big a deal of it. I stepped back pointing at the screen. “How fucking long do you think it will take before they find out who I am?” “You are my bodyguard Kenta, everyone knows that.” The scornful look he tossed my way sent a chill through me, a cold weight settling in my gut. I’d seen that look so often in my life I’d thought I was immune to it, but apparently not from Ryuu. “It’s not that hard to find out who you are. Stop freaking out on me.” “So fucking sorry if I don’t fucking like having my fucking picture all over the fucking news.” “Kenta.” I was surprised at the sharp tone, his eyes more like granite than the soft grey I was used too. “Shut up.” I blinked at him. Why didn’t he get how big a deal this was? I didn’t want to be the one responsible for ruining his career. I also really did not like having pictures of me making out with him being shown on the fucking news. Without saying anything else I turned on my heel, walking back into the kitchen to start cleaning it. I needed something to do with my hands, something to distract me from this whole fucking situation. Fuck him once and now he thinks he can just fucking act like . . . shit . . . he is my boss. Shit. Now I was mad at myself. What the fuck was I doing? Throwing the pan into the sink I stared down at the soapy water. My brain was stuck on last night. I didn’t want it to be a onetime thing. I’d never thought sex could be that . . . satisfying. There had never been any meaning behind it before. Never been anything other than a quick fuck on both sides just for something to do. Both times come to think of it. I’d just done it because it seemed like what I was supposed to do. Neither girl had wanted anything to do with me once I got out of juvie though. Then again juvie had went and totally fucked with my head. Juvie didn’t count. Nothing that happened in juvie counted. Then joining the yakuza and working nights meant meeting girls got a lot fucking harder and if I was honest with myself I never fucking cared. Reiko was the only girl I’d ever met that I honestly liked and I wasn’t the least bit attracted to her. I knew that meeting Ryuu was the best fucking thing that had ever happened to me. Even if it had never gone any further than him being my boss, this job had probably saved my life. Sighing, I slowly started cleaning the pan. Last night had been so good so why was it all going to shit now? I didn’t want to fight with him about this. It felt totally different than any other fights we’d been in and I didn’t like this odd feeling it gave me. This slightly lost, unsure feeling was not something I was used to. I should be used to him being pissed at me, so why did it hurt that he was being like this. It shouldn’t fucking hurt. Taking a deep breath I realized it was me. I was the one pressing the issue. He wasn’t concerned in the least and I was freaking out. Hanging my head I gripped the counter. This relationship stuff was fucking hard. I wasn’t used to having anyone else to worry about, not like this. I jumped, startled as arms wrapped around my waist pulling me back flush against him. A chin rested on my shoulder. “I’m sorry. You just don’t understand, Kenta. I’ve grown up being constantly watched and talked about. I can’t even go shopping without something being mentioned in the tabloids.” He paused and there was a soft sigh, his breath hot on my ear. “I didn’t mean to dismiss your feelings about it, though.”

Kenta I barely had a chance to get my shoes off before Ryuu was dragging me through the apartment. I didn’t want to admit it but I was fucking nervous like I’d never been before in my life. Even when I’d been waiting to hear my sentence read at court I hadn’t been this nervous. I was shaking, bad enough that I didn’t like it, that weird slightly weak feeling. Before I realized it we were in the bedroom. He hadn’t bothered to turn the lights on and in the dim light from the windows I could make out him stripping. “I’m going to go take a quick shower. You are free to join me if you want.” The shaking was getting worse. Maybe . . . maybe doing just that would be for the best. I could get him off and maybe he would forget what I’d said. Yeah right, what the fuck was I thinking? Once Ryuu got an idea in his head you better just get out of his fucking way. Slowly getting undressed I followed him into the bathroom. Slipping into the shower behind him I noticed the bruise on his side. “Fuck! Ryuu, you got hurt when you fell!” “Oh, yeah it’s a little sore but nothing like when you broke your ribs I’m sure.” “I didn’t break them the guy with the baseball bat broke them.” I shivered as the water hit me. He liked his showers too fucking hot. “You sure you’re alright?” “Yes I’m just fine.” He turned to face me and not for the first time did I wish I was just a little bit taller. At least tall enough that I didn’t have to look up to meet his eyes. “Kenta . . . if you aren’t ready we don’t have to.” I blinked a couple of times and looked down. Shit, wrong thing to do because now I was looking at his cock which wasn’t what I needed to be looking at right now. I swallowed trying to think of what to say and looked back up at him. “I know you want too Ryuu but . . .” “You are scared of hurting me?” Nodding, I almost stepped back as he slowly ran the sponge over my chest leaving a trail of soap bubbles. “That’s an easy fix. I’ll be on top.” “Wha-“ He kissed me. “Don’t say anything. Just trust me, okay.” Seeing the look in his eyes I nodded. I did trust him. More than I’d ever trusted anyone since Ayame. He smiled at me, the soft grey eyes seeming to sparkle. Without saying anything else he slowly started to run the sponge over every inch of me. It was more relaxing than a turn on, but I enjoyed every second of it. I was more than happy to return the favor but he made me get out of the shower. “Dry off and get in bed. I’ll be there in a bit.” I was a little chilled as I slid under the covers, though the pricking sensation had nothing to do with the temperature. My heart seemed to skip slightly as I heard the shower shut off. It was several minutes later when the door to the bathroom opened again and I felt him get into bed. He slid up next to me, his skin still hot from the shower. “Oh, you are nice and cool.” He kissed my shoulder and I could feel him smile. “You smell good too.” I laid there not sure what to do or say and I heard him chuckle. Then he was straddling me, his chest against mine our lips touching. He kissed me lightly before pulling back and I felt his weight shift as he leaned over. The drawer of the night stand rattled open and I heard the unmistakable sound of him opening a condom. “Ryuu . . . “ “Shh . . . you trust me right.” “Yes.” It was barely a whisper, for some reason breathing was kind of difficult. Probably because he was still half laying on me. Yeah that was it. He kissed me again and slid down taking the covers with him. I kind of wanted them back. I bit my lip feeling his fingers wrap around me. He slowly stroked me until I was hard again, which didn’t take long at all. I was a little confused as I felt him slide the condom on me. Hadn’t he said he would be on top? I knew what that meant and it wasn’t this. I didn’t have time to ask as he crawled back up, his knees on either side of my hips. His mouth found mine and thinking became next to impossible as he kissed me, his tongue slipping in deep. I couldn’t help but respond, the taste of him turning me on even more. I’d felt him moving slightly as he kissed me and there was a sudden pressure against the tip of my cock but I didn’t think anything of it since I could feel his fingers too. That was until something very, very tight and hot slid around the head. Ryuu moaned and broke the kiss, his whole body trembling. He grabbed my arms forcing me back down as I went to move. “Just hold still . . . please.” He was a bit breathless. “Ryuu . . . are you sure? Is this okay?” “Shh . . . yes . . . yes this is much more than okay.” He shifted back and we both gasped, my head going back against the pillow as his fingers tightened on my arms. My entire length was inside him. Inside Ryuu. Oh fuck, this was really happening. It was so tight, the heat from his body almost more than I could take. He shifted slightly and it was like I could feel every little muscle move. I was shocked to realize I could feel his heart racing to match my own. “Oh fuck.” I opened my eyes at his soft laugh and looked up at him. He was smiling at me as he slowly started to rock his hips back and forth. I couldn’t stop the moan as the heat seemed to sear through me. He was so fucking tight it almost hurt as he moved and I grabbed his hips stopping him. “Ryuu . . . it’s not . . . you aren’t hurting are you.” He leaned down slightly to kiss me, the movement sending another rush of heat through me. “No, but you are a bit of a stretch.” “Don’t fucking tease!” He giggled and I sucked in a startled breath as muscles clench down even tighter. He slid forward enough that I thought he was going to get off of me, but just when I would have slipped out he was coming back down. Holy fucking shit that felt amazing. If I’d thought his mouth drove me crazy, I was going fucking insane now. I’d never in my life imagined I would find someone who made me feel so wanted, like I mattered more to him than anything else. It was overwhelming to know that he wanted to be with me like this. Just that he wanted me was more than I’d believed possible. Ryuu Gasping softly I kept my movements slow and shallow. It had been a long time since I’d bottomed, even from the top and the burn was making me a bit light headed. In a good way. Hearing the small sounds Kenta was making as I moved made it entirely worth it. His fingers tightened on my hips and suddenly he was meeting me as I came down. I’d been worried that the memories would interfere, but being on top helped. “Oh god.” That was perfect. The angle, the way he filled me so completely, the feel of his fingers, just it being him, all of it amazed me and made me feel like nothing in my life ever had. Not even being on stage gave me this kind of feeling. I was making love to Kenta and that was what it truly felt like, even if it sounded cliché. To be truly connected to him in every way possible made my chest ache with something I’d never felt before. It was like all those stupid love songs finally made sense and I almost had to laugh at myself. He was thrusting deeper each time, the sensation becoming so intense I knew I wasn’t going to last even without touching my erection. He seemed to have read my mind. The next thing I knew his hand was wrapped around me, slow smooth strokes making me whine. For someone who claimed to have never been with a man, he certainly knew what to do. I heard him make a low sound that was between a moan and a whine and suddenly his thrusts became a bit erratic. I was so close to going off myself and I didn’t want it to end this soon. I didn’t want this wonderful euphoria to ever stop. “Oh shit! Ryuu!” I shuddered, the feel of him coming sending a shock through me. Each pulse sent another dizzying spiral of heat through me until I was writhing. I came so hard it actually took my breath away, lights dancing before me. “Kenta . . .” It took me a while to get my breath back and I realized I’d slumped forward, laying on him. His one hand was trapped between us. His other one lightly stroked my back. His breath warm on my skin as he spoke. “You okay?” “Much much better than that.” I turned my head so I could kiss him. He kissed me back, the passion in it like nothing before. I sighed into the kiss, feeling at once light and full of happiness and also so very sensitive, even the slightest movements making me want to gasp. He gently slipped his hand out from between us and taking hold of my hips shifted me forward. I bit my lip a small whimper escaping as he slid free. I shuddered at the sudden empty feeling. Then he was lifting me and laying me next to him. He kissed me softly but with such affection it brought tears to my eyes. “Thank you Kenta.” A low chuckle was his only response. He got out of the bed for a moment, probably to get rid of the condom. I was still tingling from the after affects when he came back and then he was kissing me again, pulling me closer. He wrapped his arms around me and I idly wondered if we should go take a shower first, but it felt too nice where I was. I’d just change the sheets in the morning. I was going to bask in this feeling as long as I could. I fell asleep completely wrapped up in the man I loved.

Ryuu I could barely sit still backstage. I knew my excitement had little to do with the upcoming concert. I’d resigned myself to waiting until Kenta was ready. He’d been really sweet about it, but very firm. I wasn’t about to push something on him that he didn’t want to do. I’d made it this far with him and I wasn’t going to ruin it by going too fast. “You are getting as bad as Hasu. What’s wrong with you?” Sora chuckled softly as he tuned his guitar. “Oh um . . . just excited.” “Well you might want to calm down and do your warm up.” “Oh yeah.” I was letting this get too me way too much. I needed to calm down or the concert was going to suffer. Kenta would be there after the concert. Oh god . . . I needed to calm down. “You need an icepack or something for that?” Sora raised an eyebrow at me and I glared shifting away from him. Now that was just embarrassing and I was glad Hasu and Akira were still getting the drums set up. “Actually . . . that might not be a bad idea.” “That bad huh?” “He finally said yes.” “No fucking way. No wonder you are-“ “Just shut up. I’ll be right back.” His laughter followed me out. I needed to get cooled down and there was no way I could take care of my problem right now. For one thing I was not unlacing these pants again. They took entirely too long to get back on. Okay, walking was starting to hurt. I needed to think of something besides Kenta, like how upset the fans would be if I couldn’t sing tonight. It took about ten minutes but I finally was able to come back and get warmed up. I just had to keep my mind focused on the concert and singing. By the time we were ready to go onstage I had everything under control. The heat from the lights and the sound from the crowd seem to hit me with physical force and I grinned. This was what I loved, to be able to entertain and enjoy the reaction of the crowd. It was like a live thing, the way the sound would wrap around me. By the first intermission I was completely into it. While the other guys went backstage to grab drinks, I stayed on stage and talked to the crowd. This was one of my favorite things to do. It was so much fun to watch them. The girls up front were screaming and yelling things at me, but when I’d talk they would calm down to listen. It was so cute. So I told them so and the noise got nearly deafening. I was grinning as I walked back toward the center of the stage. Akira had just come back and was smiling at me. I went to grab my own water as Hasu took his seat and rattled off a quick little set that had the girls screaming again. This was the only time he’d talk to the crowd and they went nuts for him. I had to admit, he was absolutely adorable. Soon it was time to start up again and I walked back to center stage. After announcing the next couple of songs I turned to Hasu smiling. I knew Cry was hard for him with the constantly changing tempo, but he could do it. He nodded and after the guitar intro went right into playing. I grinned as he hit the timing perfectly and nodding my head to the beat walked closer to the edge. This song was a little different than the others and I like to get close and personal with the fans when I sang it. There was a short catwalk, only about four feet long by that wide in the front center of the stage which was perfect for this. It didn’t have the barrier around it like the rest of the stage. I’d just finished the refrain and was getting ready to turn to grab a drink during the guitar solo when I felt something catch my ankle. I went to step back to regain my footing only to realize too late that I’d stepped off the side of the catwalk. Kenta I was already sprinting down the narrow divider between the fans and the stage. I still couldn’t see Ryuu and Akira had quit playing and was at the edge of the stage. I could see Hayate and Hiro and another security guard headed for the spot Ryuu had disappeared. Fuck it all to hell. A blond head suddenly popped back up and then he was climbing back onto the stage, waving at the crowd and laughing. Holy fucking shit. I thought I was going to be sick my heart was beating so fast. Slowing down I met Hayate in front of the stage. I was not moving from this spot the rest of the night. Hell I’d probably stand here for every concert from now on. Seeing him fall had rattled me like nothing else. He could have so easily broken something or been knocked unconscious. Thankfully the rest of the concert went by without any further incidents except Ryuu’s normal antics. Though my ears were ringing and I could barely hear. Ear plugs next time. Backstage the boys were doing their usual routine. Akira was stretched out on the couch his feet up on the arm rest. Sora was helping Hasu open the gift baskets we regularly got at the concerts now. Ryuu was . . . not here. “Where’s Ito?” “He went to go change, he said his pants were bothering him.” “Really . . . “ He loved those pants but I wouldn’t let him wear them in public. It was bad enough that he wore them on stage in front of thousands of screaming girls. Before I could go look for him he was back in jeans and a t-shirt and looking sexier than ever. He’d taken his hair down and washed most of the make-up off. He couldn’t possibly have looked any more gorgeous. I stumbled slightly as someone shoved me and turned to see Sora grinning down at me. “You might want to close your mouth, you are drooling.” I glared up at him and as soon as he turned away wiped a hand across my mouth just to be sure. Ryuu was already walking over and I was a little startled when he grabbed my arm and dragged me out of them room. Sora’s laughter following us out the door. “Ryuu . . . Ryuu where are we going?” He’d led us down a couple of hallways and we were now at one of the back stairwells that lead outside. “Here this is good. I just need a few minutes.” “Wha-“ Anything else I was going to say was swallowed up by his lips on mine. My back hit the wall behind me and I wondered if he was going to let me fucking breathe. If I’d thought his kisses were amazing before this seemed to be on a whole new level. Did concerts making him fucking horny or what? He’d never been this aggressive before. Whatever it was I didn’t care but I couldn’t let him undress me here like it seemed like he was trying to do, his hands sliding up under my shirt. I somehow managed to grab his arms, pulling his hands out from under my shirt. “Ry-Ryuu . . . wa-wait . . . “ I could barely get a word out between kisses and was getting light headed from lack of air. He finally pulled back and I found myself gasping for air. Holy fucking hell. The look in his eyes should have been fucking illegal or something. Soft fingers slid down my cheek and I wondered when I’d let go of him. “Thank you.” “Huh?” “Thank you for being there and trying to protect me. I saw you in front of the stage.” “Oh.” That? That was what this was about? I started to say I was just doing my fucking job, but the look in his eyes stopped me. Shit. Why did he have to be so pretty? Pretty, talented and all around amazing if you didn’t mind dealing with a few temper tantrums and the occasional crying. I didn’t mind it in the least. “Yer welcome.” I barely got it out before he was kissing me again.

Ryuu I lay on my bed my face buried into my pillow. It was still wet with tears but I’d managed to stop crying. Though every time I thought about what I’d said to Kenta, new tears would well up. Why was I so stupid? Now everyone was mad at me, Kenta, Sora, Reiko would be too when she found out how late I’d kept everyone up tonight. I was just so worried. Worried and upset, but that didn’t mean I had to take it out on everyone else. I felt the bed move and heard Kenta sigh. “Ryuu . . .you need to call Sora and at least say you are sorry.” I turned my head so that I was facing away from Kenta. How could I look at him right now? Why was he even bothering to talk to me? I didn’t deserve to have him in my life. Didn’t deserve to have any of this. I bit my lip to keep the sob in as a warm hand stroked my hair. Jerking away I sat up moving to the other side of the bed. “Stop it. Just stop. Why are you so nice to me?” Silence. “I found the article, Ryuu.” I sucked in a startled breath and turned to face him almost scared of what I would see. He held up the magazine before tossing it on the bed. It was open to the page and I flinched looking away. The photo of me was from earlier this year when I’d went to visit my mother in Europe for a week. “I thought I’d thrown it away.” “It was laying on your desk. Is this why you are acting so fucking weird today?” I hung my head, not able to answer him. “Ryuu!” He sighed and I could hear the exasperation in his voice. “You let this kind of shit get to you? Come on! You are smarter than that!” “Did you read it?” Another sigh and I heard the crinkle of pages as he picked the tabloid up. “Ito Ryuunosuke is known for many things, being socially responsible is not one of them. The heir to the Ito fortune was seen out with his bodyguard in Shinnomiya earlier this week. As usual he spent money like there was no tomorrow only stopping at the most expensive shops the area has to offer. No you didn’t, stupid fuckers. Besides we weren’t in Shinnomiya. Can’t even get that right. Fucking idiots.” He paused for a moment. “This is the part I don’t get . . . Ito’s band Bloody Agony has risen quite well in the charts for being a visual kei style band. There are rumors that the band’s popularity has nothing to do with the actual music and more to do with Ito’s antics and playboy status. Another rumor states that Ito has paid certain industry leaders to achieve their current ranking. Is that why you’ve been pushing the practices so hard? You don’t really think people believe this shit do you? Ryuu?” I shrugged not turning to look at him. What if it was true? What if that was the only reason people came to the concerts and bought the CDs? I worked so hard on the music and had even taken composition and music theory classes to improve and still people said shit like this. Though the part about me paying bribes really pissed me off. Where the hell did they get that idea anyway? True I used my parents money to help the band, but only when it came to buying equipment or outfits. I would never use my money or influence to try to make things easier or get us ahead. “Ryuu . . . these people obviously have never heard your music. I know how much time and effort you put into the songs. That is the reason you guys are even on the charts. This is all just bull shit. Fucking bull shit.” I sighed. “I know Kenta . . . but it still bothers me. I’ve had to fight people thinking I’m nothing but a stupid stuck up selfish brat for so long, I’m just tired of it. Why can’t they just judge the band on our music, why does it have to be about me?” “Sorry Ryuu. But honestly today you acted just like a selfish brat and treated your friends like shit.” I lowered my head. It was suddenly hard to breath, a hot ache in my chest. I could barely get the words out. “I know. I know . . .” “Fuck. Don’t start crying Ryuu.” “I’m sorry!” I wiped furiously at the tears that were falling. “I just want this weekend to go well. There are going to be reporters there from several big music magazines and I’m terrified we’ll get a bad review.” I gasped holding my cheek, the sting from the slap shocking me. I stared up at Kenta only to see him glaring at me. “You should be more worried about your friends. You are so concerned about the band but seem to forget that the band is made up of your friends.” I was shaking unable to tear my eyes away from him. He was right. Oh shit, why was I so stupid? I’d completely let that inane article get to me and I’d hurt the very people I should have turned to for support instead. I couldn’t stop the tears any longer, the sobs wracking my body. The next thing I knew I was being gathered up into strong arms. “Ryuu . . . come on . . . this is not like you. Why did that article upset you so much?” Kenta I felt like shit. I shouldn’t have hit him. He was too fragile right now and I’d only made things worse instead of getting my point across. Fuck. He was sobbing so hard I was afraid he was going to pass out from not getting enough air. I rubbed his back trying to get him calmed down. The sobs slowly quieted down until they were just random hiccups. I knew the article was harsh but it wasn’t as bad as some other’s I’d seen that bashed certain celebrities. He finally loosened his grip on my shirt. “It wasn’t just that article. There are lots more like it. The tabloids in Europe are even worse.” He leaned away from me grabbing a tissue and wiping his face. “They call the band a fake and say that I probably lip synch to someone else’s singing. They’ve attacked all the members of the band at various points. Father is suing one of the papers because what they said was so slanderous.” What the hell? No wonder he was so upset. “Well then how do they explain when you screw up? Or what happened that time you almost passed out because you were sick and too stubborn to cancel. That stuff can’t be faked.” “I know, but it’s hard not to be hurt by it.” I kissed his temple. “You are just too thin skinned Ryuu. You’ll never survive in this business if you don’t toughen up a bit.” “I know. Mother said the same. She said she had to deal with all kinds of tabloid rumors when she was a top model. People can be very unkind.” “They can be worse than that. Come on you are exhausted. Let’s go to bed.” “Actually . . . I think I’ll call Sora first.” I nodded and let him up. I had been hoping he was going to say that. While he was on the phone I went to go check on the boys. Akira had apparently fallen off the couch and Hasu had rolled under the coffee table. Sighing I picked up Akira first since I knew he wouldn’t wake up. Damn but the boy was light. I put him in the spare bedroom and went back for Hasu. I finally just picked up the coffee table and moved it. He was a bit heavier than Akira even though they were the same height. “Hey! What are you doing? Put me down.” “Shh! I’m just taking you to bed.” “I can walk you know.” “We are already here.” I set him on the bed and tousled the dark hair. “Get some sleep.” He was already burrowing under the covers next to Akira. Looking at the two of them for a moment I frowned. I knew Ryuu wasn’t intentionally doing it, but he was being too hard on them. Akira’s fingers were raw and Hasu had blisters in his hands. Neither of them had complained though. “Hey Kenta?” I turned back to look at Hasu. He was sitting up in the bed looking at me. The light from the hallway was glowing in his eyes, making them seem even larger than normal. He looked like such a little kid even if he was almost seventeen. “Is Ryuu still mad at us?” “What?” “It’s just . . . he’s been so short with everyone today and I know I’m having a hard time with Cry, but he’s never been this frustrated before.” “It doesn’t have anything to do with you, Hasu.” Walking back over to the bed I tucked the covers around him and then Akira. “Just go to sleep. I’ll get you guys up in time for school.” “Thanks Kenta . . . you’re really nice no matter what anyone says.” I chuckled at the sleepy voice and patted his head. “You’ll learn better.” Turning out the hallway light I went to find Ryuu. He was curled up in the office chair, the phone laying open on the desk. Going over, I shut it and touched his shoulder. He slowly raised his head to look at me a small, pained smile on his lips. “I talked to Sora.” “And.” “He’s still mad at me, but . . . he said he’d be over in the morning.” “It is morning.” “Well . . . around noon anyway.” I shook my head letting out a slow breath. Reaching down I pulled him to his feet. There was no resistance, in fact he was limp and for a second I wondered if I was going to end up carrying everyone to bed. He suddenly threw his arms around me, nuzzling his face against my neck. “I’m really sorry about today Kenta. I didn’t mean to say that stuff.” “It’s done and over Ryuu, just forget about it. Next time shit like this comes up, just say something instead of driving everyone crazy.” “I will. I’m sorry. Umm . . . I think I’m going to cancel the concert tomorrow night.” Grabbing his shoulders I pulled him back so I could look at him. “No, you aren’t. You will talk to your friends first and see what they want to do. It’s their band too Ryuu. Not just yours.” “I just thought that-“ “No. Hasu already thinks you are mad at him. If you cancel now it will look like you don’t have any confidence in their skill. No. You will not cancel the concert.” He looked at me for a moment, the soft grey eyes seeming to pull me deeper and deeper in. “This is why I love you so much Kenta.” He leaned in and kissed me, a soft sweet kiss that left me with a warm tingling sensation. “Let’s go to bed. We’ve got a lot to do in the morning.” “We? What we?”

. .i made 2 new poems couple of hours ago, one is bl and the other is not (i don't know if you could guys see this as a bl poem, but still here it is) BARENAKED In this midst, I walk So dark, I'm soak Yet, I need to move On this nowhere road Don't know the goal Why and what for? Guess, must find a piece From these scattered debris If i find, I shout If i didn't, out of sorts Still carry this vigor To route for more Then it rains Body now in stains Colorless but spur Inside me roars Cold and freezing Chilly and shaking I can't take it But need to bear it As I look, I see Those ravish eyes, I fear Wish I vanish And rush to my dear Wall starts to break Dangerous hands, rake Stripping this cover Can't stand this anymore "Where are you? Please help me, I need you!" I cried and moan "Please stop it! I beg you, It's my dear's own" But within, it reaches It's too late, I guess This last breath, must make BARENAKED feeling, to you, I confess

Kenta “Get up. “ The deep rumble startled me awake but it was the fist in my hair that had me on my feet. Oh fuck! Fuck! When had Jiro got here? I had a quick glance at Ryuu asleep on the bed before I was hauled out of the room. I stumbled trying to keep my feet, my hair getting yanked in the process. “Fuck! Let go Jiro!” He didn’t say anything and didn’t let go either. Shit. My stomach suddenly felt like it was trying to crawl out my throat. A pissed off Jiro was the last thing I needed right now. There was a sharp stabbing pain in my side to match the searing pain in my head. He threw me down in the living room and I narrowly missed bashing my head into the coffee table. Scrambling around I got to my feet only to have him backhand me hard enough to send me right back to the floor. I stayed there. There was no rage in his eyes, just a dead calm. I was in some seriously deep shit if that was the case. I looked over realizing Hayate was standing by the front door. He had a busted lip and was trying to stop his nose from bleeding. He glanced at me then looked away. My attention snapped back to Jiro as he spoke. “I am very disappointed in the two of you. Nakamara wants you fired Kenta. Fired and demoted.” I flinched. It was the least I deserved. “I should. I should demote you back down to the most junior rank and let you work your way back up. I really thought better of you Kenta. I didn’t think you would shirk your responsibilities like this. What would have happened if someone had recognized Ryuu? He could have been kidnapped . . . or killed. His parents pay us the protection money for a reason. He’s not just some ditzy singer; he’s the son of Ito Yoshiru and Kaori. The Ito name alone is worth billions of yen. He’s a target for extortionists and paparazzi. What happened last night would have made national news if he’d been recognized. You just better thank whatever god happened to be watching out for him last night that didn’t happen.” I shrank down as he came to stand over me. I knew all this, why was he telling me again? I knew who Ryuu was. Though it was easy to forget when I was with him all the time. “Jiro I-“ “Did I give you permission to speak?” I yelped as the fist slammed into the side of my head knocking me flat. Shit but he hit hard. My ears were ringing. I couldn’t remember Jiro ever being this mad at me. He’d never hit me before. I knew it happened occasionally when the other guys fucked up, but I’d never planned on being one of them. It was getting harder to breathe, the pain radiating around from my side. I’d probably fucked up my ribs again carrying Ryuu last night. Getting hit didn’t help either. “Hayate go get the car, we are leaving. I’ve already got Teito headed over to keep an eye on Ryuu.” The pain was forgotten as I looked up at Jiro. I struggled to get up, using the coffee table as support. “No, I’ll stay. He . . . he needs me.” “He needed you yesterday. No, it’s too late Kenta. You lost your chance. Get up, we are leaving.” He didn’t give me a choice, roughly hauling me to my feet. I swayed for a second, dizzy. The side of my face was numb and throbbing, my ribs aching, but it was the sick hollow feeling eating away at me that was causing the most pain. Jiro was right. I’d lost my chance. Ryuu had been the best thing to ever happen to me and I’d treated him like shit. I’d lied to myself, to him, thinking that it would be best for both of us. Why was I so fucking stupid? Then it hit me. I was scared. Fucking scared shitless. Why would someone like Ryuu want anything to do with someone like me? But even more than that, I was scared of what would happen if it was found out. The media would rip him to shreds for dating an ex con yakuza member, never mind another guy. I couldn’t let that happen. He meant too much to me. “No. I am staying here.” “I don’t want you here.” I turned to see Sora standing in the hall. “I want you to leave. You’ve done enough damage.” I shook my head, wincing. “No, I am staying. I’ll find a way to-“ “I said no.” It only took Sora two long strides to reach me and the next thing I knew I was on the floor by the couch. Holy fuck! I did not need this right now. “Wait! Sora stop!” Hayate was trying to stop him as I used the couch to try and get back up. Maybe I should just stay on the floor. “You don’t understand.” Hayate almost landed on me as Sora shoved him out of the way. “I understand perfectly fine. He’s happy to use Ryuu to get what he wants, just like all those posers and fakes who only want to be his friend because of who he is. I told you if you hurt him, I’d make you regret it.” I was too slow to get out of the way as Sora reached down and yanked me up. He didn’t understand. I already regretted it. “No that’s not-fuck!” I tried to block him but I was in too much pain. He hit as hard as or harder than Jiro and he wasn’t stopping. Hayate finally managed to pry him off me. I ended up half laying on the couch. The only thing I could think was that Ryuu was going to be upset that I was getting blood on the pretty white fabric. I didn’t blame Sora for being mad at me. I was mad at myself, but there wasn’t anything I could do about it now. With a shaking hand I wiped the blood off my chin. I went to push myself up and felt something in my chest give. My vision went dark for a moment as agony ripped through me. I wasn’t sure if I could get up. “Fuck! Kenta are you alright? Sora! You didn’t have to go that far!” Hayate was yelling. “He’s the one that went too far! Making Ryuu think he was interested in him. Leading him on-“ “Enough.” Jiro voice cut through the yelling and I felt a firm hand on my upper arm. It took all myself control not to sob with pain as he pulled me up. “I think your point has been made Sora. You won’t have to worry about Kenta. He won’t be back.” “No, Jiro, no you can’t have someone else watch him.” I tried to shake off Jiro’s hand. I was almost sick with pain, but I couldn’t let them. No one knew Ryuu like I did. Could handle his tantrums, could calm him down when he’d get upset. “Teito doesn’t understand him.” “Oh and you do?” I looked over at Sora and realized my right eye must be swelling shut. I couldn’t really see him. “Yes. I do. I know I fucked up, but just give me another chance.” I tilted my head so I could look up at Jiro. “Please. Please let me stay.” *** Sora glared at me every time he walked into the room. Ryuu had been sleeping for the last couple of hours and it was nearing nine in the evening. Sora was still upset with me. He’d barely let me help when Ryuu had woke earlier to eat and use the bathroom. Not that I was a whole lot of help. I’d wrapped my ribs back up and taken some pain meds, but the dull ache was still there. “Why did you even bother staying?” I didn’t lift my head from where it was resting on my arm. What was I supposed to fucking say? Keeping my eyes on the sleeping man only a few inches from me I knew why I’d stayed. I’d sit here all night watching him again if I had to. “Sora . . . haven’t you considered what would happen if-if the media found out. About me, I mean. If we . . . were together I know it would always have to be a secret. Not just because we are both guys, but . . . I have a criminal record and not just something silly like shoplifting. I went to juvie for assault and battery when I was fourteen. I’m yakuza now. How would that look to the media. I want him to be happy, Sora and I just don’t think he would really be happy with me.”

Kenta “You are in a weirdly good mood tonight.” Hayate raised an eyebrow at me as he took the tub full of dirty dishes out of my hands. “So.” “So, what’s going on?” I realized I was grinning and shook my head. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” His eyebrows almost disappeared under his hair. “Really? That good huh? Must have had a good day off then.” I shrugged and untied my apron. “Yeah. I guess so. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Heading out to the alley I leaned against my bike were it was parked next to the building. Taking out my phone I looked at it. Three text messages. All from Ryuu. Why did I have the feeling that I’d started something that might be more than I could handle? I had to smile seeing them, a soft warmth filling me. Hope you are having a good night at work! I’m at Sora’s so I might still be up when you get off work. Don’t forget to call me! Hitting the speed dial I waited. On the third ring I heard someone pick up. “Hey, it’s me. Just letting you know I’m off work and headed home.” “Oh hey Kenta, its Sora. Ryuu fell asleep about thirty minutes ago.” I was surprised at how disappointed I was. Had I really wanted to talk to him that badly? “Oh, um . . . well let him know I called, will ya.” “Sure thing, and Kenta . . . thanks.” “Huh? Fer what?” “I haven’t seen Ryuu this happy in years.” “Oh. That. Yeah.” “Just . . . don’t hurt him Kenta. I will personally kill you if you do.” From the tone in Sora’s voice I knew the big guy was dead serious. Hurting Ryuu was the furthest thing from my mind. “I’m not that stupid.” A soft chuckle vibrated in my ear. “Be careful going home. I’ll tell him you called.” “Thanks.” I shoved the phone in my pocket and zipped up my jacket. Late summer was giving way to fall pretty quickly and the nights could be chilly. Especially driving a motorcycle. Slipping my helmet on I sighed thinking about what Sora had said. It was my job to protect Ryuu. It was something I’d taken very seriously from the first night I’d started as his personal bodyguard. I’d seen how crazy things could get at a concert. It was no wonder poor Hiro had almost quit after their first tour after Hasu had joined. I couldn’t imagine trying to watch all four of them at once. Heading home I took the route that drove along the sea. It was a beautiful night. It was just a bit on the cool side with no traffic other than delivery trucks and a few idiots racing. I pulled into my neighborhood, it was quiet and someone had busted out the street lights again leaving the run down buildings in darkness. I was going to have to find the fucker who was doing it. They’d regret it once I got hold of them. Parking my bike under the stairs of the apartment building I headed up to the room they actually fucking called an apartment. Ryuu’s closet was bigger. No joke. It didn’t even have a window; they’d taken it out to put in a door. Fucking slum lords. At least the bathroom was free at this hour. Standing under the barely warm water in the tiny bathroom it finally started to sink in. I was fucked. Once Nakamara found out I’d messed around with Ryuu he’d fire me. Leaning forward I rested my head on the tile. What the fuck was I going to do? It wasn’t like I could stop being around Ryuu. It was my fucking job to be around him. But I couldn’t just pretend it hadn’t happened either. Honestly, I would find any excuse I could to be around him. Even if this morning hadn’t happened, I would do anything to be there, to protect him, just watching him if I had to. “Fuck.” I slammed my fist into the wall and after a moment shut the water off. It was cold anyway and was reminding me too much of the shower earlier. God I missed the crazy weirdo. I got dressed quickly, shivering. I had to keep my mind off Ryuu or I wasn’t going to get any sleep and I had to be up again in five hours. You’d think working two jobs I’d be able to make ends meet. Guess it didn’t help that I tended to give my money away to the homeless kids I was always finding in the area. I’d managed to help a few get decent jobs and a couple of them were now working for Jiro. Not that I wanted this kind of life for them. Collapsing on my futon I covered my head with the pillow ordering myself to go to sleep. The sooner I fell asleep the sooner I got to see Ryuu. *** The phone woke me. It was Hayate. “We’ve got a problem.” He sounded like he was barely awake and I could hear his partner, Isao, griping in the background. “What’s going on?” “Fight at the bar.” “Fuck. What time is it?” “Four.” “Fucking hell. I’m gonna kill somebody.” Ryuu I stayed at Sora’s for breakfast, which was fun. He’d told me that Kenta had called around three to say he was going home. I nodded and finished eating the tamago Hasu had made. I didn’t usually like the egg concoction, but something about the way Hasu made it was better than anyone else’s. “He’s supposed to go with me today. I think.” I leaned my head over on my hand, thinking. Was that today? “Yeah, you and I have that radio show today.” “Oh! That’s right! I knew there was something going on today.” I grinned at Sora. “Thanks for letting me crash here last night.” “It’s fine. You haven’t stayed over in a while.” “Well someone needs to chaperon you around Hasu.” Sora reached across the table and smacked me on the forehead making me drop my bite of tamago. “Ouch! What the hell was that for?” “Don’t be a jerk.” I looked at him and realized my comment had been rather insensitive. He would never do anything to hurt Hasu, ever. “Sorry.” “Just cause you are getting some doesn’t mean you need to rub it in my face.” “I said I was sorry, besides . . .” I looked down at my plate shifting around in my chair. “Haven’t quite got that far yet.” “Then you really don’t have room to talk. Oh, thanks Hasu. You get enough to eat?” Sora looked up as Hasu came in with the last tray of food. Hasu nodded. “Yeah, for now.” “We need to get going Ryuu. Hasu we can drop you off at home on our way if you want.” “Actually . . . I’d like to go to Akira’s. I texted him earlier about it and he said it was fine.” “Yeah sure, that works.” After breakfast we headed across town to where Akira lived with his brothers. I spotted a familiar motorcycle as we pulled up. “Ah! Kenta is here!” I was surprised. He should have been at home asleep. Why was he at Jiro’s? I jumped out of the limo ignoring Sora telling me we didn’t have time. There was always time. Hasu was right behind me and I could hear Sora cussing me as he followed us. Grinning I opened the door to the apartment. It was full, granted there were only four people, but four people in their tiny apartment meant it was full. Kenta was perched on the arm of the couch while Hayate and Isao were sitting at the kitchen table. Jiro was standing by the window talking to them. “Hi guys!” I flicked my shoes off and went to tackle Kenta since his back was to me. It was my favorite thing to do ever since I’d met him. “Ryuu! Don’t!” Jiro’s exclamation was too late. I suddenly found myself on the floor in front of the couch, the breath knocked out of me. “Goddamn fucking hell you crazy son of a bitch!” Kenta yelled. “Calm down Kenta!” Jiro snapped as I tried to breathe. I was afraid to move, one leg still up on the cushion as I stared up at one very pissed off Kenta. What had I done? “What the fuck, Kenta!” Sora yelled as he shoved past him, reaching down to help me up. I’d finally caught my breath, but my chest was aching so fiercely it didn’t matter. Only Sora’s grip on my arm kept me from collapsing into a heap on the floor I was shaking so badly. I turned slightly into Sora trying to get a handle on the rush of emotions, feeling sick. For a moment there I had been terrified that Kenta was going to hit me. He’d never reacted like that before. Ever. “Why the fucking hell does he always pull shit like that!” Kenta’s voice tore through me. I covered my mouth with my hand, trying desperately to keep the sob in. It wasn’t going to work. Ripping away from Sora, I bolted out of the apartment, tripping down the stairs my eyes blurred with tears. What had I done? Why was he so mad at me? Stumbling out of the building I made it to the limo. Curling up in the backseat I let the sobs overtake me.

Ryuu I woke up to the sound of running water and the realization that it had to be Kenta sent my pulse racing. I hadn’t expected him to stay. Not really. I’d been a lot more buzzed last night than I’d realized and hoped he wasn’t upset with me. Only one way to find out, I grinned to myself as I slid out of the bed. He hadn’t totally pushed me away last night and he’d seemed less drunk than I was. Opening the door to the bathroom I shivered thinking about the feel of his lips and the way he’d tasted. I would have done anything to have kept him from leaving last night, and waking up knowing he was there gave me a secure content feeling I hadn’t had in a very long time. I wanted to show my appreciation and more importantly I wanted to get my hands on him again. The surprised look on his face was entirely worth it and I grinned at him. His hair looked even darker when it was wet and I would have given anything to have a picture of his face right then. The dark eyes were wide, generous lips parted in surprise as he stared at me. He blinked a couple of times as if not sure of what he was seeing. It was amusing to see him confused and unsure when he was usually so hard to read. “What the hell are you doing Ryuu?” He growled turning back around. It was nearly impossible to resist the urge to lean down and kiss his neck and shoulder. Whipcord muscle under pale smooth skin didn’t hide the sharp angles and lines of his shoulder and hips. Without his clothes he seemed smaller, less imposing but even more beautiful than I’d imagined. “Taking a shower.” He mumbled something I couldn’t hear as I reached for the soap and a bath sponge. I really wanted to run my fingers along the broad shoulders and down the muscular back. Stepping forward I ran the sponge down his spine watching the trail the soap bubbles made. “Ryuu.” There was a slight warning tone to his voice and I paused suddenly unsure. “What?” I tried to sound innocent and unconcerned. “Go out.” I sighed. I’d expected him to say that. “It’s my shower.” I could practically hear him roll his eyes. “You really are a fucking handful you know that.” I smirked and stepping closer slid my arms around his waist letting my fingers slip over the water slicked skin of his stomach. “Well, I know you probably are a handful too.” I gasped suddenly finding myself pinned to the side of the shower, Kenta’s hands tight around my wrists as he held them to either side of my head. I struggled to catch my breath, my heart feeling like it was going to explode out of my chest. Dark, unreadable eyes bored into me so intently I finally had to look away. Was he mad? Maybe I was being too forward. “Don’t be such a fucking tease, Ryuu.” I raised my head to look at him. All I could see was dripping wet strands of ebony hair. His voice was soft, his fingers tightening for just a moment. “Just don’t.” “Kenta . . .” When he wouldn’t look at me, finally letting me go, I reached forward taking his face in my hands. Forcing him to look at me I smiled. “I’m not teasing.” Leaning forward I kissed him, letting my fingers slide up into the dark locks. He went rigid for a moment and I thought he was going to shove me back. He wasn’t really responding to the kiss, just standing there, but it was more than I’d hoped for. He hadn’t really kissed me back last night either. I slowly pulled back after a moment and looked down into those gorgeous dark eyes. It bothered me to see the almost pained look in them. Was he bothered that much by my kissing him? True not everyone liked it when I kissed them. Akira tended to hit me. But for him to look hurt that I’d done it made me pause, I knew I could sometimes be too forward. “I’m not teasing you Kenta. I wasn’t last night and I’m not now either. I like you a lot more than you seem to think.” I let him go as he pulled back. Frustration and hurt welled up in me as he turned away. Reiko must be right. Now I’d probably alienated him. He obviously didn’t like me kissing or even touching him. Why did I have to be so stupid? Why couldn’t I be happy just being friends with him? “I . . . I’m sorry. I’ll let you finish your shower.” I started to get out and looked back, feeling those strong fingers grasp my wrist. “You really are a fucking tease you know that.” His voice was a low growl that sent a shiver down my spine. I was bewildered and a little nervous as he suddenly grabbed me around the waist, pulling me back into the shower. Was he going to hit me? I gasped as he shoved me against the wall of the shower, his lips suddenly attacking mine. I couldn’t form a coherent thought. Nothing was making sense. I’d thought he was upset with me, but the way he was kissing me was simply, utterly amazing. He was aggressive yet hesitant, almost as if he was unsure of what he was doing. It was making my whole body feel like it was on fire, the water suddenly seeming cold where it was hitting me. I couldn’t stop the moan building in my chest. It had been so long since anyone had kissed me, really kissed me with a fervor that I could feel all the way to my toes. Running my hands down the muscular stomach to his hips, I pulled him closer so that he was pressed against me, shuddering as soft skin caressed mine. There was a hot ache in my chest, completely separate from the other heat that was spreading. Did he really want me? Did I dare hope . . . “Kenta-“ I couldn’t keep the emotion out of my voice as he finally pulled back so we could both catch our breath. He gave me one of those heartbreaking beautiful smiles that seemed to melt my insides quicker than anything. I blinked, and let my head drop feeling tears already on my cheeks. “I thought-“ “Shh.” Warm slightly rough fingers wiped at the tears as he tilted my head back up. “Am I that bad a kisser?” I choked out a laugh. “No! No that’s not it all. I just . . . thought you were mad at me.” He shook his head the smile still there, “You are one silly idiot. I wasn’t ever mad. Just confused as hell.” “Oh . . . why?” He sighed and pulled me into a hug kissing my neck and shoulder. “You have no idea do you? Not a fucking clue.” “Umm . . . no.” I would do anything I could to stay like this as long as possible. To feel his arms wrapped around me, his pulse against my skin, that silken voice in my ear. He chuckled, the sound vibrating through me and I couldn’t stop the small whine as he started sucking on my neck. I was shaking, but I couldn’t help it, the rush of sensations overwhelming. “Fuck.” The expletive was softly breathed against my neck. “You drive me fucking crazy, Ryuu. Why do you have to be so goddamn fucking sexy?” “Umm . . . sorry?” I stumbled as he shoved me back. “This is all fucked up.” “No! Wait! Kenta, please. What’s wrong?” I looked at him desperate for an explanation. He couldn’t kiss me like that and say those things only to shove me away the next moment.

Ryuu The apartment was cold and dark. And empty, very empty. I tried not to think about how things had gone at the studio. Kenta probably thought I was a complete idiot. Everyone else did too. Not that I blamed them. I’d acted just like a spoiled rich brat not getting his way. Throwing a stupid tantrum was not going to help Akira at all. It was just my own self pity and insecurity. Without bothering to turn on any lights I headed straight for my room. Stripping, not even bothering to put my clothes in the hamper, I slid under the covers. I was too tired, physically and emotionally to bother with a shower. Filming was tiring anyway and I’d worn myself out being all emotional and stupid. Clutching at the pillow I buried my face against it. No matter what anyone said it was my fault Akira had quit eating. It had been my insistence that everyone look good for the filming that had started it. I was sure of it. I knew how sensitive he could be when it came to his appearance. Some friend I was. Sighing, I forced myself not to think about it. The filming was over. Akira had already gained a couple of pounds back since leaving the hospital two weeks ago. Reiko would take good care of him. Better than I ever did or could. I woke sometime later. The green glow from the clock on the nightstand barely illuminated the side of the bed. It was just after three in the morning. I sat up looking around wondering what had woke me. I was too tired to bother getting up and snuggled back down into the covers. I’d no sooner closed my eyes than I felt the bed move. Terror surged through me, freezing me in place. “You little slut.” I gasped, hearing the familiar voice, one I’d hoped to never in my life to hear again. I scrambled back, grasping for the sheets. “You thought you could get rid of me didn’t you?” I slammed into the head board and glanced around frantic for a way to get away. The light seemed wrong and I couldn’t breathe. It was suddenly hard to move. “D-don’t touch me!” “Oh, I’m going to do a lot more than touch you.” His voice was like liquid terror pouring over me, seeping into me until all that existed was those dark eyes and grasping hands. I tried to get away, to get out of the bed, but he grabbed my arm yanking me back down. That incredible strength that I had once relied on was now turned against me. The first hit stunned me and I was roughly flipped over and pinned to the bed. “No!” I gasped as my back hit the floor. I blinked a few times staring up at the ceiling. The room was bright with sunlight. Taking a few deep breaths I laid my head back closing my eyes. It was just a nightmare, but it had felt so real. I could still feel those fingers grabbing for me, feel the fist hitting me. I shuddered and slowly sat up feeling sick. Grasping for the bed I pulled myself up. I was shaking, barely able to keep a grip on the sheets. How could a stupid dream scare me that bad? Running a trembling hand through my hair, I forced myself not to think about it, about him. Staggering to my feet I made it into the bathroom, grabbing my phone on the way. Kenta “Who the fuck . . .” I groaned feeling around for my phone. I blinked a few times trying to focus on the display. “Six in the fucking morning. You better have a damn good reason Ryuu . . . Hey whats-“ “Kenta?” I sat up, any tiredness forgotten at the breathless panicked voice. I’d never heard him sound like that before and it sent a chill through me. “Can you come over please?” “Yeah sure. It’ll take me about thirty minutes to get there.” “O-okay, just let yourself in.” “Alright, I’m on my way.” I got there in twenty minutes. The doorman nodded as he let me into the lobby. Taking the elevator to the sixth floor I got out my key. I was nervous for some reason. Ryuu had sounded so upset and . . . scared. That was the only thing I could think. He’d sounded terrified on the phone. Opening the door I let myself in, making sure to take my shoes off. The apartment was almost eerily silent. “Ryuu?” I checked each room as I walked down the hall. He wasn’t in the office or the studio that left the bedroom. Opening the door, I blinked a few times at how bright the room was with the sunlight streaming in. The bed was a mess, the sheets mostly on the floor, but no Ryuu. Where the hell was he? “Kenta?” The soft, almost hesitant voice startled me. Turning I spotted him standing in the bathroom wrapped in a sheet. He’d been crying, that much was obvious from the blood shot eyes. I started toward him, stopping as he looked down, his whole posture changing as he almost seemed to crumple in on himself. “I’m sorry for calling you so early . . . I . . . just had a bad dream is all.” Must have been one hell of a bad dream, I thought to myself, to get him this upset. “Well, it’s over now. I’m here so I might as well make you some breakfast. Why don’t you come in the kitchen with me and you can tell me about this dream.” He nodded slowly still not looking at me. When he made no move to follow me I walked toward him. I reached for his arm thinking it would comfort him; instead he flinched, cowering almost as if he expected me to hit him. I narrowed my eyes. One fucking hell of a nightmare apparently. Slowly I grasped his wrist and pulled him toward me, not meeting any resistance. “Ryuu . . . why don’t you-“ I grunted in surprise as he suddenly grabbed me, his arms wrapped tight around my chest as he buried his face against my neck. He was entirely too warm and I suddenly realized . . . completely naked. Fuck. That shouldn’t matter. Ryuu was upset. Ignoring the feel of the slender, toned frame pressed up against me I patted his head. “Hey, it’s alright. It was just a dream.” “Yeah . . . just a dream.” I shivered feeling his lips move against my neck. What the fuck was wrong with me? “I’m sorry for calling you so early . . .” “Well . . . it’s not really in my job description so I guess I’ll have to charge you extra.” That got a soft laugh and he stepped back. I found myself staring into blue grey eyes and before I’d even thought about it, I reached up to brush the blonde hair out of his face. “You really need to cut your hair.” That got my hand smacked and an offended look. “I can’t cut it! The fans love my hair!” That set off a whole outburst about people not understanding fashion or what it meant to be a visual band. At least I’d got his mind off the dream and whatever else was upsetting him. I chuckled shaking my head as I left him in the bedroom so he could get dressed. Breakfast was going to be simple. I was too fucking tired to make a big fancy breakfast. Going to bed at two in the morning only to get woke up four hours later was not that fun. I set his plate on the table and sat down to wait on him. When he finally came out I was shocked at how different he looked. He looked every bit the rock star he was, though the timid smile kind of shattered the image. He’d spiked his hair and braided some of the longer strands. Dark eyeliner made the light colored eyes stand out even more. He was wearing his black leather pants that the girls always raved about. I’d had to stop more than one grabby fan from trying to touch him when he wore them. The white button up shirt had yet to be buttoned, showing off the flat stomach and toned chest. I’d give Ito one thing, he was good at looking good. I pointed to the plate. “Made yer breakfast.” “Oh, thanks. You didn’t have to do that.” I shrugged and stood up. “Well, for once there was food in the fridge. You goin’ out today.” “Yeah, I’ve got to meet with one of the producers. I actually forgot to tell you, but . . . I kind of need you to go with me. There is going to be a small press conference later too.” “Nakamara already told me.” In fact I had Ryuu’s schedule for the next month. Ryuu wasn’t exactly forgetful, he just got busy. “Today just started a little early is all.” Ryuu’s eyes flicked up for a second as he sat down. “Yeah, sorry about that. Haven’t had one of those nightmares in months.” I didn’t say anything. If he wanted to talk he would. Going to the fridge I found his juice and got him a can out. He was picking at his food as I set the can down next to his plate. “Am I that bad a cook?” “Oh. No! No, it’s just . . . I’m sorry for making you get up so early. I know you worked last night too.” “Do me a favor and quit fucking apologizing and eat. Next time I’ll just tell you to fuck off.” I smiled at him to show I was kidding and he grinned back at me. “Yeah right. You like the money too much.” “Fuck yeah.”

Kenta Today was going to shit. It had already gone to hell, and things were getting impossibly worse. Ryuu had locked himself in his dressing room and wasn’t letting anyone in. It was our second day on set shooting the band’s new promotional video and it seemed that anything and everything that could possibly go wrong was. I stood outside, leaning against the wall next to the door waiting for the latest tantrum to run its course. I’d never seen Ryuu this moody and even Sora was confused. It was almost like Ryuu was inventing reasons to stay in his dressing room. “Fuck this.” Taking out my key I opened the door to the room. I blinked a few times surprised that it was completely dark. “Ryuu?” There was no answer and a little rush of apprehension had my skin crawling. “Damn it Ryuu, what the hell is wrong with you? Everyone is waiting on you so we can wrap up shooting.” “I don’t care.” I couldn’t pin point exactly where his voice had come from and reaching over I flipped the light switch. Nothing. “Fuck. What the hell did you do to the light?” “Just go out.” I scowled hearing the tremor in his voice. “Are you crying?” “No.” “Liar.” “Just go out!” I jumped surprised to hear him scream at me like that. It wasn’t like Ryuu at all. Something was really wrong and I wasn’t leaving until I figured out what it was. “Shut the fuck up.” I slammed to door behind me, giving myself a moment until my eyes adjusted to the dim light. I could hear a soft sound that I instantly recognized as Ryuu crying. Fuck it all to hell. I was going to beat him. Why the fucking hell was he crying anyway? He’d been the one who’d thrown the hissy fit when the stylist had accidentally burned him with the iron. I spotted him huddled up on the small love seat that occupied one wall. Walking over to the dressing table I flipped the light on and turned to face him. He wouldn’t look at me. Tears were streaming down his face. His make-up was ruined and it looked like he’d ripped the hairpiece out too. “Ryuu . . .” I kept my voice low, trying to get him calmed down. It hurt me more than I felt it should to see him like this. Standing in front of him I reached down to touch his arm and got my hand batted away. “Don’t touch me! Just don’t fucking touch me.” He was sobbing now, the sound piercing me. Fuck. It should not hurt this much to see him upset. It should not make me want to pull him close and do whatever I could to see that brilliant smile again. “Why are you here? Why don’t you just leave?” “It’s my job to take care of you Ryuu.” That seemed to be the wrong thing to say. Ryuu was suddenly on his feet, his face inches from mine. “I am not just a fucking job!” I caught his wrist as he went to leave and shoved him back down on the sofa. I could feel his pulse racing under my fingertips as I stared down at him. “You are going to fucking calm down and tell me what the fuck is wrong or so help me you will not be finishing this PV. I’ll send everyone home and cancel the shoot.” “N-no don’t . . . I . . . I’m sorry.” His voice sounded so small and hollow, so unlike the Ryuu I knew. Letting go of his wrist I sat down next to him. I didn’t say anything, just waiting. It took several minutes but I finally heard him take a deep breath. “I . . . it’s my fault. I can’t even look at him without thinking that it was my fault. I should have just kept my stupid mouth shut. He must hate me. Reiko is upset with me anyway. She yelled at me at the hospital and hasn’t really talked to me since. I didn’t mean-“ “Ryuu . . . it’s not your fault.” I sighed and leaned forward resting my arms on my knees, hanging my head. This again? “Akira has other issues too, we all know that. None of us realized he wasn’t eating.” I felt him shift next to me, his voice barely audible. “He told me he wanted to look good for the shoot. Everyone must think I’m an egomaniacal insensitive jerk. Even the fans are going to hate me now.” I wasn’t sure what egomaniacal meant, but it didn’t sound good. “The fans don’t hate you Ryuu. And no one thinks you are like that. We all failed Akira.” Soft hair brushed my cheek as Ryuu laid his head over on my shoulder. The subtle scent of hairspray and his expensive cologne surrounded me. “I hate it. He’s always been so small anyway, and now he’s just skin and bones. Every time I look at him I get this sick feeling. He could have died Kenta and it would have been my fault. I know he’s doing better now but . . . he’s lost so much weight. His outfit doesn’t even fit anymore. Why do I have to be so stupid?” “Ryuu,” I was careful to keep any trace of anger out of my voice. He was still blaming himself for Akira’s anorexia? I’d thought we’d discussed this while Akira was in the hospital, though it seemed Ryuu was still feeling like it was his fault. “It was his choice. It’s not like you were taking food away from him.” There was a loud sigh and the warmth was suddenly gone. “I know, but it doesn’t change the fact that he acted on something I said.” There was a long silence. “Kenta, I’m sorry. Um . . . can you please tell everyone I’ll be out in a few minutes to finish the filming.” “Sure Ryuu.” I got to my feet and headed for the door. Opening it I turned back to him, but he was already at the mirror trying to fix his hair. I sighed and shut the door behind me. It was just like him to blame himself for something like this. Silly twit. I tracked down the director and had a few words with him. Ryuu had to be handled delicately when he was in this kind of a mood. His self esteem was so fragile it was almost pathetic and it made me wonder why that was the case. The guy had everything. Wealth, fame, looks, girls (and guys) literally throwing themselves at him so why was his self esteem shit? It didn’t make any sense to me. I sat off to the side as they finished wrapping up shooting. Ryuu was his usual smiling, happy, confident self. Watching and listening to him sing always gave me chills. There was just something about his voice, the emotion he could put into it that got to me every time. I’d been a fan of their music before I’d ever met them in person. Knowing Ryuu and the other boys hadn’t changed that, if anything I was even more of a fan now because I knew just how fucking hard they worked. “You guys looked great.” I handed Hasu a bottle of water and a towel, I had a Coke waiting for the other three. I got three smiles and a grimace. Ryuu wasn’t happy. Go figure. I followed them out to the van after they’d changed. Reiko was waiting. Akira immediately went to her and I heard Ryuu sigh. I frowned looking over at him. That had been happening a lot lately. Was he jealous or something? Reiko was pretty hot. A bit too aggressive for my tastes, but that didn’t seem to faze Akira. I bumped his arm with my elbow to get his attention. “What’s wrong?” He shrugged, not looking up at me. “Just tired I guess. Sorry about earlier.” “Don’t worry about it.” I opened the van door for him and waited until the other two had climbed in before getting in myself. Akira was headed out with Reiko. If anyone could whip that boy into shape it would be her. She wouldn’t be above force feeding him if she had to. We dropped Sora and Hasu off at their places and drove back across town to the gated apartment complex that Ryuu called home. He hesitated before getting out. Soft grey eyes regarded me for a moment. “You want to come up?” “Nah, I gotta get home and change. It’s my night to work at the restaurant.” “Yeah, of course. Sorry. See you later then.” I watched him leave wondering why I had the odd sensation that my heart was dropping through my gut.

me again:Red_fox6: (my hand drawin pic) can someone tell wat the credits n rep power for?

More like «DIRTY-&-HOT-AS-HELL-yet-somehow-manage-to-be-funny-somewhere-in-between-without-loosing-the-sexiness» dialogs with these two~ *melts like butter on toast* :Red_fox11: Ryuusei: "Did you want to see me naked that badly? You sullen pervert." Moriya: "I though I'd punish you and your dirty mouth. Is that alright with you, Ryuusei-sama?" -- Ryuusei: "I feel like each year your tongue gets more perverted." Moriya: "Compared to your promiscuity there's still quite a difference." Ryuusei: "What did you say, you bastard?! You wanna settle this here?!" Moriya: "Not a problem for me. Aren't you the one who likes outdoor sex?" Ryuusei: "Who wants to do that? Idiot! (...) At least a hand job!" Moriya: "...So crass..." Ryuusei: "Shut up!" (...) Ryuusei: "You are really hard too! Clearly... a little cold... so unbelievable..." Moriya: "You are so excited that you feel me hardening. As proof you see... Filled with stickiness here. So wet here... So perverted. Did you know, Ryuusei-sama?" (...) Ryuusei:"You are definitely more perverted..." :5yoyo34: from ZE by Shimizu Yuki (Moriya x Ryuusei are my deepest obsession so...) ♥ -- Dear Neko-chan, you just made me suddenly want to read UGH all over again and I just re-re-re-read it a couple of months ago *.*

Togainu no Chi - Ep. 4 Mediafire