16+ DRRR: Until Death Do Us Part (Shizuo x Izaya)

[empecool]

Summary: Izaya is in love with Shizuo, the only person that hurts him, that can turn his world upide down. But what will Shizuo's reaction be when during a fight, Izaya lets out his true feelings?

Status: Completed

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「As long as I can remember He has been the object of my hatred, for how could I ever feel something different for someone who was not even worth to be called a human? He was an animal, a violent and uncontrollable animal. No worth being loved, not by me, not by anyone... He's so different from the humans I love... They are so simple, so easy to predict and to control. I love them, I love them all, despite all the times they have hurt me, despite all the times they have done me any harm... But with Him, it's so different! With Him my whole world gets turned upside down, one little word makes my knees to fold, one little smile gives me a strange tingling in my stomach... Why...? Why is it only His harsh words which feels, why do I want to break into pieces when I get struck by his rough comments? Is it because he is the only one who is different from the rest, because he is the only black sheep in the meadow? Why do I always want to be by his side, why do I lust for his caress so desperately?

Why did my feelings change into these?」

 

A furious cry forced away his thoughts.

"I-za-ya!" It was him...

A deep blush spread across Izayas cheeks.

「Breath, try to focus! Don't let Him see through you, don't let him know about your true feelings...」

He pulled himself together quickly and let a big grin spread across his face when he turned around to face his love-object.

"Ah, Shizu-chan... What a surprise!"

He smiled towards the blonde man which had shouted his name. A growling sound rose from Shizuos throat as he tore up a lamppost and threw it against Izaya with an inhumane strength and power. The lamppost passed a few inches from Izayas head.

"I told you to stay away from Ikebokuro! Disappear!"

The anger in Shizuos voice could be heard from miles away, not that it bothered Izaya. It didn't bother him at all, at least not on the outside of his hard shell. Izayas grin became wider.

"I can't stay away from all these people, from all these wonderful, pathetic people..."

「That's not true! But the truth would make You avoid me, make You hate me even more... I can't possibly say that You're the one I can't stay away from...」

Izaya backed of when a wending machine came flying towards him, he swallowed hard in the shelter of the big iron machine when he realised that it had landed where he for only a moment ago had been standing. He let his pocket knife slide down in his hand from it's hiding place in his jacket sleeve before he took a step forward. Only a few seconds afterward he rushed towards Shizuo with a drawn blade. His eyes radiated a cold and murderous rage, but they were also filled with a bitter, wounded expression.

「I want You to suffer as much as I'm suffering... I want to see Your face twisted in pain, fear and grief...」

A flick with the wrist was all that was needed for Izaya to feel how the blade slid across Shizuos chest. Blood trickled down from the open wound.

"Tch..."

Izaya stepped back.

"I missed..."

He let his gaze slide over the blade before he licked up the red liquid that accumulated on it.

「This is the closest I can get, the closest that I ever will get...」

Shizuos furious roar gave him goose-bumps.

"I... I-za-ya! Die, die, die... DIE!"

He dashed towards Izaya.

"Watch it..."

The bartender-like figure chased after Izaya... Their daily game of cat and mouse through Ikebokuro had began.

「I love you... I love you...」

The words was repeating themselves in Izayas head, echoing...

「I love you... I love you... I love...」

The words true meaning dawned on Izaya, as if a lightning bolt had struck from a crystal clear sky. His feelings... His hidden feelings was shouted out in his mind, louder and louder. Suddenly he felt how a hand took hold of him and how his body was pressed against a wall.

「I love you... I love you...」

"I love you..."

The shocking expression on Shizuos face made him realize that he had said the words out loud. His face became flushed.

"Ah! Ehm... I mean..."

Izaya avoided to meet Shizuos glance and tears began to fill his eyes. He felt how Shizuos grip around his hands became looser. Shizuos former tense attitude was softened and left him completely relaxed.

「Wh... Why is he still here?! Why ain't he avoiding me!?」

Izayas eyes widened sharply when a pair of soft lips was pressed against his.

「Wha... What!?」

He tried to resist, in vain...

"Hnn... Stop... Please stop..."

He received no response from Shizuo, the only noticeable difference was that the earlier emotionless kisses grew more and more passionate, like if Shizuo released his barrier...

「Why?! Why is he kissing me when he doesn't have any feelings for me?!」

It almost felt like if Shizuo had read his thoughts.

"Don't believe that everybody is beasts who's unable to feel emotions, that only wants to take advantage of you..."

His tone was fierce, Shizuo was apparently annoyed. But Izaya knew that there was something more behind his appearance. Once more did Shizuos lips touch Izayas. A light caress on his cheek, down his chest. The long awaited caress broke through Izayas bullet-proof glass-cage. The passionate kisses became even more intense than before.

「All of me if being filled with lust, the desires takes over all my senses.」

Izaya almost believed that he would drown in his enormous lust, in his desires.

"Shizuo... Please stop... I can't take anymore..."

Never before had he felt so aroused as in that particular moment, never had he ever wished that someone else would touch him, not in the way he in that moment was caressed. But at the same time a voice in his head started to whisper to him.

「"He will leave you when He is done. When His desires are soothed He will treat you like He normally does. You will be hated again once more... For how could anybody love someone like you? Do you really believe in that crap?!"」

Izayas thoughts scared him, made his eyes become filled with tears. He pushed away Shizuo and turned around.

"I'm sorry... I can't do this..."

He ran away and left a confused Shizuo behind.

 

「I can't trust him, nor anyone else... Why can't I give him a chance?」

Izaya opened the door and walked out on the rooftop, he was alone...

「Why does the voice in my head say that it's no idea, that I'm bound to fail? Am I really sentenced to always walk alone? Doomed to never feel joy or happiness? My heart wants to refuse, trust Him and stay by His side... But it's already to late... The victor is already decided, it has since long been the voice in my mind, and without power over my own thoughts I am doomed to walk in a constant darkness. A darkness so deep, so unbelievable bottomless that it's tearing on my power to live, on my lust for life... The only thing I'm still certain on is my feelings for Him, the invincible feelings of missing Him... Should I had written a letter, said goodbye?」

The tears ran down Izayas cheeks. In a moment it all would be over... He looked out over the roof-edge, into the abyss that opened up for him.

"Shizuo... I'm sorry and farewell... I really love you..."

He swallowed hard, on step into the empty air would make him forget, make him disappear. He made himself ready, gathered the courage to take his own life...

Two strong arms embraced him.

"Please, don't do it... Don't leave me alone... I need you!"

Shizuo spoke with a low, hoarse voice and Izaya felt how he trembled. His shoulder got wet, wet of what?

「Is he crying? Is he crying because of me?」

Izaya turned around and looked up in Shizuos face, He actually cried... Shizuo looked so vulnerable, his face was twisted in fear and sorrow...

"Don't leave me... Stay with me! Don't disappear... Not now when my feelings finally are answered..."

A shocked Izaya pushed him away...

"Do... Don't lie! I know that you're lying! There is no-one who like me, even less loves me! What are you really after?!"

Izayas voice cracked, it sounded like he was a teenage boy in the middle of puberty, when he screamed out his frustrated thoughts.

"Money? A better reputation? To hurt me!?"

His tear-filled eyes widened sharply when Shizuo stepped forward and pulled Izaya towards him, held him close.

"I get if you're not trusting me... But I promise and swear that my feelings are no lie! My feelings for you are real! The only thing I'm after, and always have been after is you! Ever since we first met it has been you... I can't live without you, not anymore!"

Izaya nodded silently, all of his suspicions had been blown away... But the will to live on were gone since long...

"I... I can't continue like this, I can't live my life in darkness anymore... I'm sorry Shizuo..."

Izaya slowly took small steps toward the edge.

"Don't leave me alone! Izaya!"

Shizuo took two long steps and pulled Izaya close.

"If you can't stay, then take me with you! Don't just leave me behind! I love you, until death do us part..."

Shizuos voice was trembling when he whispered his feelings into Izayas ear.

"And, I love you... In this life and every life after this..."

Izaya pressed his lips against Shizuos, it was their last kiss...

"I couldn't possibly wish for more than this..."

Izaya whispered before he took the last small step... Shizuo threw himself after him and the both clung to each other as they fell towards the ground, towards their death...