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B L Writers - NOV. 2018 || When the sun goes down.


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It's been a while! My academic life has been eating at me too much lately but I'm glad I could join this contest this month! So here's my entry: Should've

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Should've

 

I lowered my eyes and found the sky staring back at me. Harsh, stark and muddled. Just like him. Unknowingly he has made me happy so many times, yet he's crushed my heart a lot more. I remember it, the day I should've kept my mouth shut. The day I should've passed it off with a smile, like I usually do. But I didn't, and this searing in my chest is my punishment.

 

"I hope they grow up well. They're all beautiful."

 

"I'm gonna be the best cat daddy in the universe, watch me." He was saying, his face nearly splitting with the excited smile he wore. "Let's name them together, alright?" Then he turned to me and I thought I was going to melt right there where I sat next to him. He was so dazzling, so amazing.

 

I love you, please be mine.

 

"Sure, but I'd like to see their eyes first. Inspiration for these things are important." I tried returning the gaze he gave me but I couldn't, his eyes were too much. I turned to the newborns instead, lightly petting one on the head with my fingers.

 

"What's up with that? Inspiration, you say. I didn't know you were such a romantic, you." He nudged his elbow against mine and laughed, turning my insides to mush. "I was surprised you wanted to meet them since you're into dogs more."

 

"I've been interested in cats lately." I watched his long fingers cradle a kitten, wondering what would happen if I slipped mine between them and never let go. "Because you like them."

 

"Yeah? You like them because of me?"

 

Shit.

 

I dared look at him and saw that he was staring at me again. He was so close... My breath audibly hitched and I thought about taking a step back to put some distance between us but I was rooted to the spot. The orange filter of sunset washed over his face and made him even more divine. Panicked, I searched for anything to say but my head was one uncooperative blank. So instead I replied honestly. "Yes."

 

And for a moment I thought I saw his pupils dilate.

 

"Hm." He hummed thoughtfully, his attention now back to the cats. He was silent for a while before speaking again. "So did you start bowling too because of me?"

 

He is being so unfair.

 

"Yes."

 

"And smoking?"

 

"Yes."

 

I heard him exhale heavily. It had grown darker and I could only make out his figure when he returned the kittens to their mother and tucked the box to shelter. He stood up, towering over me. Even without seeing his face, I knew he was looking at me.

 

"Do you like me or something?"

 

I do.

 

I bit my lip, I couldn't answer anymore. Grasping my jeans, I waited for him to say anything else. But he only stood there for a full minute, before apologizing and walking away from me forever.

 

"Hana dear, please remove your furry bottom from my laptop. I need to work now." I pleaded the snobby thing. Hana only scratched an ear, stretched and went back to sleep. Defeated, I stroked her fur lovingly. Sometimes I imagine what it would've been like if I didn't say anything. We'd still be best friends, do our silly things together. We could've raised Hana and the others together.

 

I wonder what expression he wore that day, when the sun went down and protected him from me. I dream about it so often, but all I see is his dazzling smile before I wake up.

 

I really should've...

 

 

 

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This was written while listening to Billie Elish's idontwannabeyouanymore. I wanted to write about how people tend to try out things that the person they like likes, how it's easier to be bold when sharing a moment in darkness, and how desire doesn't always warrant the realization of a wish.

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  • 2 weeks later...

.

 

ANOTHER DAY

 

 

Midafternoon is my favorite time of the day, that’s when I return home from work after the daily groceries shopping and I get to relax and try new recipes while I wait for my love to come home to me. Today I will make a chocolate tart with cinnamon cream, as I preheated the oven the phone rang, it was Douglas to let me know his meeting was running late and he would be an hour later than expected. I made the short crust dough and afterwards prepared the mold, took the dough and carefully fit it onto the tart mold, then tore away the excess. I used a fork and made pricks into the tart crust covering the entire bottom to keep it from rising. To get the dough ready to bake I placed some aluminum paper on top of it and then filled the mold with uncooked beans to weigh down the dough during baking. I placed it into the oven and set the alarm for 25 minutes.

 

After the oven time was up I took the tart shell out of it and removed the foil and the beans. I smiled as I saw that the crust was a golden brown on top. I brought out the liquid cream, the milk, eggs, a shot of brandy and salt. I chopped dark chocolate and proceeded to melt it over water by placing it in a stainless steel mixing bowl over a pot of simmering water, I gave it a quick stir with a rubber spatula to help it along. When thoroughly melted I left the bowl over the hot water and removed it from the heat. I warmed the liquids up in a saucepan, I added the milk, cream, brandy and a pinch of salt. I looked at the clock, plenty of time left so I started with the filling next. I whisked the eggs in a small bowl and combined them with the warm milk, then strained the hot milk mixture into the melted chocolate whisking gently to combine it thoroughly without adding excess air into the mixture to keep it dense.

 

I poured the chocolate filling into the shell and gazed at the kitchen window, it seemed that today would be a rainy day yet again. With a sigh I put the tart into the preheated oven and let it cook for five minutes and then turned off the heat and left it inside for 40 more minutes. When that time passed I took it out and placed it in the refrigerator to chill. Finally I made a little cinnamon flavored whipped cream for garnish. Once the tart was cooled I carefully removed from the mold and served it.

 

- Honey I’m home! I brought your favorite sweet and sour chicken from that place you like on Avelt Street.

- Hi darling, how was your day?

 

He placed the takeout on the counter and took me in his arms, with smiling eyes he bent down and kissed me.

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.

 

This was so much fun!

 

:_red_fox 3

 

 

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It was a lovely story!

 

 

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Have a great week!

 

onion1

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