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The Lewd Beauty And The Grump [Rin&Hideki] (Private)


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“I think your driving style is law-abiding and I driving-styles do say something about a lot of people.” It started out nicely, it really did. Classy, fancy even. Daniel hadn’t had anyone open a door, let alone holding it open for him in years and, he wasn’t going to lie, it made him feel special in that moment just a little bit. It was still an odd feeling seeing as he hadn’t had a lot of his exes do that. He himself held doors open for females most of the time out of sheer reflex. “She isn’t?” Daniel asked, raising his eyebrows just a little. “I didn’t think about it, but looking back she did have the appearance of a lesbian. But having six kids exceeds that by far. And I thought my Mom was having a hard time bringing up one.” He smiled however when William told him that Anderson had brought an entire folder full of business ideas and that they would be getting rooms to work with for free. “See? She is putting a lot of effort into it. I respect that a lot. Though I see where you are coming from about the sponsor. For starters however it might not be a bad idea. If difficulties occur later, you might have enough capital to rent other rooms by then and she might agree to it too. After all, if you become business partners, the company is her career future as well and I think you both might have similar thoughts on a some topics.”

 

The restaurant did trigger a few memories as William had correctly pointed out as he asked him if he had gone out like this back when he had still worked in the entertainment industry. “I used to invite friends to restaurants like this, yeah. Also, my Mom wasn’t fond of cooking so much, she liked going out and spend some time with people.” They ordered their foods and drinks, but only so much as the drinks arrived until the shining fa?ade slowly cracked, fissures running through the nicely painted picture, until it broke down into a thousand shards of glass. It all went downhill within ten minutes. Daniel hadn’t seen a fight this short yet. He hadn’t even realized that someone was calling out to the blonde until a certain woman was standing right beside their table. It started out with as a conversation of two people who didn’t share the desire to talk, it was one-sided, obviously, and then it turned into a fierce fire lit by another two guests joining the conversation. They quickly added more and more gasoline to the fire; it was raining accusations and insults. “Excuse you, don’t you have anything better to do in a place like this?” Daniel’s genuine question got lost under the force of the married couple talking down on his boyfriend. It was only that he caught the names Hannah and Ginevra that he knew it was a family business and that he realized it wasn’t going to end well at all, which it didn’t. The little verbal war was cut short as soon as the foreign man started picking at Sebastian, obviously feeling the need to talk badly about the dead because someone who was still alive wasn’t to his liking. And when William executed the first punch, Daniel knew it was already over. He got up from the seat, calling out the blonde’s name, but he was left unheard. The waiter ended the fight immediately and told William and Daniel to leave, accusing the ex-security guard of having started the fight. Daniel sighed into his palm, following William outside as he decided to leave out of free will. The cold air didn’t even cold as they hadn’t spent a lot of time inside the warm building. For a moment Daniel’s eyes met the azure ones of the blonde and as he himself didn’t know what to say, William didn’t either. He only wordlessly opened the passenger door before slamming it shut again after hearing his name once more called out, his real name.

 

It was his sister who hadn’t been forced to join the army and who had apparently opened a fashion label. And she was right about everything she said, but William was also right about having zero of a chance of helping. At some point she turned to Daniel to introduce herself which caught him off guard in that moment, but he returned the greeting with a smile. “Daniel, Daniel Sutton, nice to meet you.” Eventually, William didn’t decline, which Daniel hadn’t expected. It was still his sister and he knew how much the blonde valued a family and that he was probably feeling guilty for what would happen to his younger sibling. Although Daniel did have a brother, he didn’t know the feeling of having an actual sibling, the amount of pressure, the urge to protect one must feel as the older sibling.

 

William gave him a minor explanation about the situation. As Daniel had guessed at the beginning, he had faked his identity, though over time he had abandoned that idea, so this time it did surprise him. But how was he supposed to react to it? Just accept it as the bare truth and move on? Daniel climbed into the car and shut the door gently. As he sat there, listening to what William told him, three specific feelings hit him one after another; gladness that he only had one family member, fear of meeting that specific family member, and once again delight that William’s… Rex’s family didn’t live in Orlando. He didn’t feel like going back and stay at his apartment while his boyfriend was going on a trip to meet his father. Although they were both grown men, it impressed him just how much they tried to avoid running into their families. “You remember that I told you my Mom used to take me on trips?” Daniel stated. “I haven’t been on a roadtrip in years.” He added with an encouraging smile on his lips. It was obviously a silent yes to the question if he wanted to come along or go back home. Besides, despite Rex’s tough appearance and overly strict and serious personality, Daniel didn’t think that he wanted to go there alone. It wasn’t like it would be easy to swallow, no matter what awaited him at home. Judging by Hannah’s behaviour, sunshine and hugs were the last things to expect. Daniel buckled up and placed his hand onto Rex’s. “Come on, look at me.” He said. Then he fished a miniature handkerchief package out of his trousers’ pocket, taking one out and leaning up to clean the other’s face of the blood. He lowered Rex’s head to examine the slightly swollen eye, groaning disapprovingly under his breath. “You know, actually you should cool this. Are you sure you want to drive like that?” He asked concerned. “At least take a few breaks at some motorway service areas, okay?” Daniel leaned back again, his fingertips stroking over the other’s cheek as he sunk back into the passenger’s seat.

 

His gaze wandered over to the window as the shock faded and the courage he usually wore fell off him like water of a waterfall. He scrumpled the handkerchief up in his hand and leaned his had back against the backrest. Silence befell the duo as the tension of Daniel’s fist grew. “Pray tell,” he suddenly said, turning his head. “Over the past years, have you had anyone to talk about your current state of feelings? I am not asking you that because I think you need help, but I think that certain circumstances don’t do you good. What…” He paused, exhaling through his nose. He looked down to the handkerchief, then back up to the blonde. “What the hell was that just now?” The tone in his voice was drained with disbelief just like when he had been torn between Rex and Peter at the brothel just a day ago. “You are not going to tell me that you are okay, right? And that there is nothing to talk about, eh?” Daniel straightened his back and crossed his legs. “How is it that you are going to a public place and get insulted and attacked? And then it escalates? I…” Daniel raised his free hand to his face, touching the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger before lowering it again. “You are talking about it so calmly. Are you sure you are not boiling inside? It’s not your fault. It’s everyone else who is seemingly unbelievable.” It was apparently in rare moments like this that Daniel’s seemingly endless patience met an end and although he was not the type to hold grudges, he was feeling angry. Maybe it was the fact that after such a long time someone dear to him was the victim of an attack. He had lived through years of hiding from being insulted and he had overcome it. Rex had reacted when it had come to Sebastian, but Daniel didn’t want it to be about Sebastian anymore. “Is there anything that will do you good, William? Rex, I mean. Is there anything about this,” he pointed into nothingness, meaning the situation, “that is going to do you any good? How does it make you feel to just go and drive all the way to your home town where apparently hatred awaits you? You blame yourself for things you did when you were emotionally hurt the most. What logic lies behind it?” He shifted in the seat to turn more to the side. “I get it, you want to protect your sister, and I get that you have a problem with controlling your anger, just like I have a problem with speaking my mind, and that’s okay. I don’t mind. What I do mind is you wrecking yourself. You faked your identity, some guy started a fight with you and you didn’t listen when I called out to you.” Family business was family business, but Rex’s mental health was a different topic. “Nothing of this makes me like you less. All I want to do is help you. We are not only a couple, we are also still friends and I care too much about you to watch you cripple yourself mentally. You keep on dragging people out of their misery while building up your own agony.” Thinking about all the things they had said to him, Daniel could feel his discipline of not accepting any alcohol after his addiction ten years ago getting little fissures in that moment. He sighed, feeling his blood rushing through his veins, the attitude similar to his mother’s shining through his usually understanding and calm demeanour. His glance skipping over to the window. “A glass or two of that whiskey wouldn’t hurt now, shit. Calling you a pervert, tsk. Running around with that attitude is perversion. Or maybe that visage too. Maybe that guy could use a few lessons in religion and biology as well, like homosexuality being natural and the bible having been written one hundred years after Christ’s death with a lot of add-ons over the years. But I sometimes forget that such people use to have a mental break-down and cry as soon someone makes them realize that they don’t have any power just because they are part of the Christian church. Imagine being friendly to someone who is different from you, what a nightmare that must be. – Fucking bastard.” The swear-words left his mouth like a cutting knife after so many years of not using them, additionally having been brought up not to use any at all.

 

Daniel exhaled. He rubbed over his forehead, then turned his head to look at Rex with a concerned look. “I don’t know what feels like to be the older sibling. To have your own family member running into death. People don’t change their mindset, no matter how much you want them to, unless they realize it themselves. I only want to know: Do you think you deserve all this? I really want to know. Have you thought about that? After what you have been through, is it fair to be tossed around by other people? I don’t want to watch you go down, you know? You listed all those negative things about you last night and they don’t bother me. It would bother me to watch you go down. I don’t want that. I want you to be happy, but I… I don’t know what to do.” Affection and sorrow glistened in his emerald eyes at the same time. “Ever since we’ve become friends, I haven’t known what to do to make you happy. I didn’t tell you because I thought I would figure it out, but I can’t apparently. You said you wanted me to be myself, but… I am not good with dealing with struggles, especially other people’s struggles, but I want to be of help so badly.” His gaze skipped from Rex’s left eye to the right one and back. “This is not about a ruined date, of course I would go out with you again, it was mainly to spend time with you. A date doesn’t have to be perfect. It can be a lazy evening watching a movie at home as well. But what I can’t tolerate is you running into a knife that other people provide, and I don’t mean that you are going to defend your sister by that, I mean your mental health. Look, your family is your business and I don’t like to butt into such business, but you as a human being are, at some point, a completely different topic.”

 

Daniel lowered his gaze to the gearstick. “Sorry, I, I shouldn’t insult people I don’t even know. I was getting angry and my tone wasn’t friendly.” It reminded him of how he had treated his own friends and especially his mother when he had been drunk. Of course, it had been much worse than this little outburst, though he knew that little outbursts could quickly turn into something bigger. “I just want you to understand that you are not alone in this and that I want to support you. That it’s not a ‘you will make it’ but a ‘we will make it’.”

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Rex nodded when Daniel mentioned how his mother had taken him on trips and how he had not been on a road trip for years. Started the engine and with it the navigation system of the car and typed in their destination, his little hometown and his parent’s house and he was glad that the other agreed to come with him although he didn’t say anything. He would be fine when he faced his parents but the drive there and back from there would have been tough to go through alone without any distraction from his thoughts.

 

When asked to turn his wracked face towards Daniel he did. His eye, his cheek and his lip were swelling and a slight blue colour was starting to get visible. His face would definitely shine in the colours of the rainbow soon when the haematoma would be healing. The blond male let the brunette wipe the blood from his face and take care of him, what was already a lot for him to grant another person, but he grunted when the other suggested he needed to cool this, asking him whether he wanted to drive in that state. “Yes. It’s nothing.” The man said sternly and sighed when urged to at least take some breaks along the way. It wasn’t like he wanted to but his bladder wasn’t made out of steel and he’d have to stop every once in a while, it was a long drive after all. He instinctively leaned his face into the warm touch of the other’s hand, realising that it felt good to be touched and shown affection in this moment and he sighed. “The drive takes over twenty hours. I promise you I’ll pause every three or four hours or so.” He said and drove from the parking space onto the busy streets of the city, turning the country CD back on again in the background.

 

They drove in silence for a while, the stereo playing a tune about a man’s longing to return home and it started to rain outside. Then suddenly, he had been caught up in his own thoughts and the stinging pain that Hannah’s words had caused him, Daniel’s voice rang through the Jeep in disbelief and bewilderment, demanding an explanation for all of that. “Roger, David and old man Harrison know my name, where I am from, what happened and that I got disinherited by my father.” He told the other when he wanted to know whether he had had anyone to talk about his feelings. Granted, Rex had never talked about his feelings with Roger and David either, because he just didn’t talk feelings with people, it wasn’t his thing, he couldn’t do it, he sucked at it, but they did know about his situation. However he wasn’t so sure whether it was convincing to the brunette, probably not. Most certainly he had already disregarded this when he had heard raging Roger’s name.

 

The other at least wasn’t finished yet and the man also couldn’t hide his frustration when he wanted to know what this had been, how it was that he had gone out and then gotten attacked, implying that he didn’t want to hear what Hutson had indeed wanted to tell him, that he was fine and it was a waste of time to get upset about it while internally the man was affected by it and hurt and angered, so he kept silent but it didn’t matter because Daniel was continuing, pointing out his calm, asking him whether he was not boiling inside and then saying something that made the former Major General look to the side, staring at the man for a moment. It was not his fault. Everyone else was unbelievable. Daniel was right to assume that Rex was boiling and raging inside but the other part? It wasn’t that simple was it?

 

Daniel was apparently upset and angry and other than the blond he was letting it out now while Rex, who had anger issues, was now in functioning mode when it came to his family. The other man was bombarding him with questions and Hutson sighed deeply, the windshield wipers constantly battling the rain. “It doesn’t matter how it makes me feel. Feelings don’t matter when it comes to duty and responsibility.” He stated. The answer to the actual question was that he felt like shit. That he was mad and angered and that he wanted to drive home and punch his father in the face until the old man agreed to clear up the mess he had made, to keep Hannah from doing something she wasn’t capable of, to acknowledge Ginevra’s girlfriend and appear to her wedding with the best wishes, yelling at him that he couldn’t erase him from the family and that he could not declare him dead.

 

A cynic snort came from him when the brunette man expressed how he couldn’t understand the logic behind the former soldier blaming himself for something he had done when he had been emotionally hurt the most, after Sebastian had been brutally murdered. “That’s exactly the issue! That I acted on my emotions. That my emotions affected my work! That I couldn’t control them! If you have the position I had – I don’t know if you have heard the rank my sister mentioned – your emotions shall never affect anything you do and how you use the power you have. Your decisions affect thousands upon thousands of soldiers and civilians.” He explained. “And the worst part is that I don’t regret it. I’d do it again.” the man said, turning his head towards Daniel another time, looking straight into his green eyes. “With all the consequences that came from it, I’d do it all again for Sebastian, to revenge him.” He declared.

 

What followed surprised him. Not that the man could see he wanted to protect his sisters, that was plain obvious, but that he thought that Rex was crippling himself, that he was dragging other people out of their miseries while drowning in his own. It made him raise his eyebrows in surprise and he stared onto the street to not look at the other right now. Was he doing that? Really? He had never thought about it. He was trying to build something for himself wasn’t he? So it couldn’t really be, could it? “I have a responsibility to protect my family and my friends and my partner. I take this seriously. I am fine.” He said and the last part was a lie. Not a good one on top of that. Hutson was far from fine. He was just under the impression that he had to deal with his shit alone. He never liked to accept help from anyone for anything. His problems were his and he’d solve them. On his own! The man had even hated it to take help from Sebastian. The idea to need help, to accept help was horrible to him. It would make him feel weak and he didn’t like it.

 

The night was full of the unexpected. The brunette’s outburst was certainly one of those unexpected things. Although if he thought about it maybe not that unexpected. Rex was aware of the mindset that many if not most of the people in his hometown had held on the issue of homosexuality. Some more extreme, like Ted, and others more moderate and to someone not used to this medieval way of thinking it must have been shocking and outrageous. Rex however had heard it throughout his childhood, his youth and his young adulthood and he had suffered in silence. It had hurt and scarred him deeply, had made his breath stuck in his throat whenever he had heard his parents talk about men like him as perverts and sodomites and that his dad didn’t want gay men in the Army and his mother didn’t want them near her kids – what was ironic since Rex had been gay himself and Ginevra was apparently into women. It had been crippling to grow up knowing that your parents would be disgusted by you when they figured out who you really were. But the more he had heard it, the more jaded he had become towards it and while it angered him, it didn’t get through to him on a personal level anymore, it didn’t hurt him anymore. What had hurt him were the words his sister had spoken previously and what had enraged him had been someone saying a bad word about Sebastian, that was something he couldn’t tolerate, ever.

 

“The last thing Ted needs is religious lessons. Every kid in our hometown went to Bible school. And the Old Testament was written over fife thousand years ago and that fact doesn’t keep him from condemning gay men but still eating sea food.” He told him. “A biology class and a class in evolution would be what he actually needed but he’d probably disregard it as a lie from Satan sticking to creationism.” Rex told the other. “But you’re definitely right, Ted is absolute scum, the man is garbage. If one asked me he is an abomination, his whole existence is a stain on the Earth. I have always hated him and he has always hated me. It’s not the first time things have escalated between us. We constantly fought during our whole school and academy time. He got especially nasty after he caught me and Sebastian together in the equipment room when we were teens. I had to shut him up and I did real good.” Hutson remembered the memory of how he had triumphed and completely humiliated Ted back then and it made a slight smirk play around his lips. “I can’t believe my sister married that trashcan though.” he stated, shaking his head.

 

When he was asked whether he deserved this the answer came promptly. “No. I do not. And I never thought I did.” He stated. “However, Hannah doesn’t deserve this either, Ginevra doesn’t and …” his tone changed and an incredibly pained expression was appearing on his face. “And Sebastian absolutely didn’t deserve what was done to him. He was a bloody angel alright, he deserved heaven on Earth and not this.” the blond’s hands tightened around the steering wheel. He bit his lip and took a deep breath. “Life is not fair. Nothing about it is. It’s a giant pile of shit!” he barked, taking another breath because the first one apparently hadn’t helped. “No, I did not deserve this. And still, part of this is in a sense my fault. If I hadn’t failed my father would not have made Hannah his successor and used her as a replacement for me. Hannah was never a strong personality. She never openly stood up against our parents like Ginevra did. She can’t defend herself against the pressure my father puts her under and thus she blames the reason as to why this is and I am the most obvious one and the easiest one to blame because I was gone and wouldn’t object to it. If she dug deeper than that and would get to the root, my father’s extreme traditionalism and authority and the unyieldingness of it all, everything she thought and believed would crumble and she couldn’t take it. “ he explained. “So I understand why she hates me even though I don’t deserve it. And I feel bad for having disappointed her and my family regardless.” He told the brunette.

 

“Hey, these weren’t all negative. I just listed the facts about myself some people have issues with so that you know what you get!” Rex corrected in a slightly jesting tone when the other said that what he had listed the other night had been all negative things about himself. Frankly, Rex found being right-wing conservative really positive. What followed then made the blond fall silent immediately though and the atmosphere in the car shifted when Daniel almost desperately stated that he wanted to make him happy, that he had tried all this time, that he just didn’t know how and apparently failed, that he wasn’t good in dealing with other people’s struggles but he wanted to help him badly.

 

As they were coming to a halt at a red traffic light Rex turned towards the other and laid a hand onto his thigh. “Danny, I don’t expect you to deal with my struggles. I can deal with my struggles or at least I like to believe that I can.” He told him and a warm smile was playing around his lips. “You don’t need to try so hard.” He assured him. “That you’re coming with me right now, that makes me happy, for example.” He assured him, his hand caressing the other man’s thigh. “And I promise you when we’ll get back, I’ll watch a movie on the sofa with you although I don’t like movies.” he promised and when the other apologised for having insulted Ted and ranted about Hannah, followed by the man stating that he just wanted him to know that he wasn’t alone, that they were a team, the smile grew. “Don’t apologise.” He told him, leaned over and kissed him deeply and longingly, his heart pounding heavily in his chest when behind them a honking fest was starting because the traffic light had just turned green and every single one of them apparently had a very important appointment, raging in their cars.

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  • 2 weeks later...

“Are you sure?” As predicted, Daniel’s eyes filled with a disbelief when Roger’s name fell. He didn’t think that only because someone knew about Rex’s situation they also knew about how he felt, let alone that he told them that. He had told him back at the motel that he wasn’t someone to ‘talk feelings’ and Daniel understood to a certain amount. “You are not fine. You know, only because you are a man, I don’t think that telling other people you are not feeling well is a bad thing. You are not forced to tell them or me everything in detail but letting those who are close to you know that you aren’t okay is not going to make anyone insult you. And I know that those are your friends and that friends have limits, but that’s what friends are for.” Daniel didn’t truly think that speaking to him about what crossed Rex’s mind was going to hurt the other any more than his pride, simply because he had been brought up that way. Yes, all it needed was that simple explanation, the nurture, however it didn’t mean that it had to be that way, it didn’t mean that it was entirely evil to choose different ways. People didn’t change overnight, let alone change because someone else wanted them to, but Daniel at least wanted to urge Rex to acknowledge a private talk about his thoughts. On top of that, he didn’t base that off the fact that they were dating, hell they had been dating for one day and one night; no, Rex had let Daniel into his life by his own free will and the brunette was seriously concerned about the blonde’s health. He had seen other celebrities breaking under the pressure of perfection during his career and even though Rex looked like he was made of steel, it didn’t make him immune against everything. Was it comparable to someone else’s life? Of course not. But it was just as serious.

 

Rex halted at a red light and after a pause of their talk, he turned his head and placed a hand on his thigh. It was an oddly warm gesture, he found, even if it didn’t mean more than a pat on the shoulder. “Really?” he asked, narrowing his eyebrows in wonderment slightly, hearing that Rex was indeed delighted by him coming along. He also said that Daniel didn’t need to apologize at all, which he acknowledged, even though he still thought it had been fitting to do it. Apologizing was always a hard thing to do and he was glad that he didn’t feel angry doing it anymore compared to many years ago. “Ok-“ His response was silenced by the kiss which he gladly accepted and returned. Daniel rose a hand to first place it on Rex’s cheek, but it halted mid-air as he remembered the fight at the restaurant, thus he positioned it onto the blonde’s neck, slowly sliding down over the fabric of the jacket to the chest. He could taste the metallic-sweet taste of blood on his tongue whilst the cars behind them started to honk. It was probably both the reminder of the other’s open lip and the pressure from behind their car that made Daniel break the kiss. “What are you doing? You have to be careful with that lip, geez.” He mumbled, checking Rex’s bottom lip before he gazed over his shoulder into the back window. “You should move the car forward before your little fan club decides to push you,” Daniel then added, smiling into Rex’s face. He leaned back again, re-drawing his hands. “Yeah, life is unfair, and there is no sugar coating, but I am here with you and right now that’s all I need.”

 

As night time came around, the ride was rather calm, and to be honest, a little bit relaxing. Rex’s driving style was comfortable to be around, and the more Daniel watched the scenery fly by, the heavier his eyelids got with time. The lack of sleep last night was slowly showing, or at least he was feeling it. He rested his cheek on the knuckles of his hand and placed his elbow on the door’s frame below the window for support, crossing his legs. His view blurred a little as blinking made his eyelids even heavier every time, until he couldn’t find the strength of opening them again anymore for a while. Only the car’s engine’s humming and the movement around him brought him back to reality. At first, he wasn’t sure where he was, but then his memories returned to him quickly and reminded him of the whole situation. “Uh.” Daniel leaned up, feeling pressure on his cheek for resting it on his hand, and turned his head to the blonde next to him. “Sorry, did you say anything? I think I blacked out for a moment, I didn’t mean to.”

 

Daniel brought his arms above his head and arched his back, stretching his upper body. His right elbow cracked, and he rolled his head from one side to the other, then fell back into the seat. “I think I am getting old.” He was only becoming thirty-seven soon, but the more he closed in on forty he felt like time was going by way too fast. And it was that moment in which he realized that despite all the things he knew about Rex now, he hadn’t asked about the other’s age. It hadn’t actually interested him either as he did find him attractive nonetheless, but he was bad at guessing ages. “How old are you? I don’t think I’ve asked before. Not that it matters, I am just curious.” He said, studying the blonde’s face from the side. Obviously, Rex was the oldest of the siblings and his sisters hadn’t looked a lot younger than Daniel himself, he found. Also, it came to his mind that they hadn’t gotten to eat anything, but he wasn’t hungry, at least not hungry enough to eat a whole plate after waiting for the past hours. Hunger just dissolved over time, it was like he forgot it if he ignored it for long enough. “Aren’t you hungry at all, though?” he asked Rex. “You aren’t the type to eat little, are you? And a coffee might do you good as well.” His gaze skipped to the navigator and it were still 18 hours to go. “We should definitely catch some sleep after some time. If I notice that you are getting sleep-deprived while driving, I am going to force you to let me drive. I may be smaller than you and not as physically strong, but don’t underestimate me,” he said, lifting an index finger.

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Hutson wanted to tell the other just how sure he was but Daniel didn’t wait for his answer and answered his own question instead by telling Rex that he was not fine. Well, he had not been exactly fine ever since Sebastian had died but what did it matter? He dealt with it somehow didn’t he? His life had gone on. Now he was even dating. Daniel however felt convinced that it was important to talk about this stuff. That this was what friends were for. “But I’m bad at that. It’s not my thing.” The blond man said. Neither was it David’s or Roger’s thing he knew. Roger was just getting extremely angry and was lashing out, ranting and swearing aggressively at whatever caused him distress and David, well he wouldn’t talk, drink in silence and stay at Harrison’s bar at night with his thoughts as they just had witnessed. Talking feelings wasn’t what either of them did amongst each other. It would make everything incredibly weird. They were there for each other when the house caught fire, they could count on one another but they didn’t elaborate on how certain things made them feel.

 

“What if I threw all my garbage, pointless feelings and emotions at you? What would it bring other than distorting the image you have of me and burdening you with my shit?” he wanted to know from the other man what he was hoping he or they’d gain from it.

 

The blond male was fully engulfed in the kiss and the craving to feel the other man more that he had felt back on that sofa the other day was starting to unfold within him again. He didn’t pay his busted lips and the iron taste of their kiss any mind as he was wrapping his tongue around the other man’s rolling it around in Daniel’s mouth as though it was on a safari there.

Heck, he didn’t even give a shit about the traffic and the honking fest behind them.

 

Apparently Daniel was more concerned with that or it was the taste of blood that worried him because the brunette male broke the kiss and reprimanded him that he had to be careful with that lip. It made Rex grin and chuckle. “You’re worrying too much about that little scratch.” The former soldier said finding just that rather cute. It also was amusing to him though that Daniel worried and cared about the blond male’s bruises more than he himself did.

 

Upon the mentioning of the impatient drivers behind them whose rage rose with every second they had to wait longer the smirk on his face didn’t die though. “Let me just do something that I have learned from my dear friend Roger.” Hutson said before he let the window slide down, stuck his arm out, flipping off the other drivers before he pulled his arm back inside, closed the window again, waited a few more seconds before he continued their drive.

 

Their drive led them out of the city and into the night and the rain was drumming onto the car heavier than before and Hutson had to turn the volume of the music higher. It got quiet for a while and Daniel was quite obviously battling with his tiredness and was soon falling asleep. Throwing a gaze towards the other man a small smile was playing around the corner of Rex’s lips as he shook his head and continued the drive towards their destination, wishing the highway had no speed limit what would have made him be able to enjoy driving to its fullest.

 

When the other man woke up again quite some time had passed and it amused the blond when Daniel asked him if he had said anything because he must have blacked out for a moment. “No, I didn’t say anything the past one to two hours.” The former soldier informed the other man of his little nap. “Did you have a nice rest?” he asked.

 

Upon hearing that Danny thought that he was getting old after stretching his body, ‘What am I supposed to say then?’ was popping up on Rex’s mind as he was clearly the older one of the two, not that he minded getting older. He never thought much about his age and didn’t even actually care about his own birthdays. The only birthday he had ever really cared about had been Sebastian’s, other than that he had always found them pointless to be celebrated. Being born wasn’t exactly an achievement was it? If anyone had to be celebrated on a birthday it were the mothers in his opinion because they had actually achieved something that day, which was giving birth to them.

 

Being asked his age surprised him but indeed Daniel had never asked and Rex had never asked the other man his age either. It had never been of interest. “I’m forty-one.” He answered the question, feeling like he had to ask the other’s age now too. “You?” he added. Rex assumed his boyfriend was somewhere around Ginny’s age. Hannah was definitely younger though.

 

Was he hungry? The man actually had to ask himself this question. The whole ordeal with his family had completely occupied his thoughts and killed his hunger and appetite for a while but he certainly could use some food if he thought about it. “We’ll grab something at the next gas station.” he decided but what followed had him laughing. The way Daniel announced that he’d force him to let him drive if he was getting tired and that he shall not underestimating him, raising his index finger moving it in the same way Sebastian’s German father had done had him laughing wholeheartedly.

 

“I’ll be wise to not underestimate you or you’re gonna gouge my eye out with your index finger. Got it!” Rex laughed but soon found some seriousness back. “If it helps, I have once been awake for… a week… or were it ten days? I don’t know. Point is, I have gone without sleep for a long ass time before and I had to do much more complex tasks than just driving a car.” he assured him that he was fine doing what he did.

 

Anyhow, as they reached the next gas station he was driving onto the property and parked the car. Getting out of it he stretched his body and walked around, opening Daniel’s door. “I’ll refuel while you’re gonna grab something to eat and to drink.” he pressed some money into the brunette man’s hand to pay for their food and for the petrol. “No coffee though. Rather bring me some energy drink or a coke or something along those lines.” he told the man, enjoying the soft breeze on his skin as he was refuelling.

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Daniel turned his head with a defeated sigh towards the blonde when he was asked what it would bring if he informed him about his feelings. “It would make me understand,” he simply responded. It was, in fact, simple as that as his mother had always urged him to tell her everything and, surprisingly enough, they hadn’t had as many misunderstandings as he had had with his friends or even ex-boyfriends whom he hadn’t told a lot of his thoughts many times. Not that they had asked either.

 

After the kiss, Rex showed Daniel something he had apparently learnt from Roger and it was indeed something he could see the veteran do. “I am sure he would be proud.” He didn’t find it mature, nor did he find Roger, or what Roger had become, likable, but he knew very well that his opinion wasn’t asked. Rex’s friend wasn’t a threat of any kind either, so there was no sense in talking against him. Though at some point he might feel eager to get to know David better. He had met him during a rough time in the man’s life, but maybe there would be space for further conversations in the future. At some point it made him wonder if he would find friends of his own again after all that time of living with the other whores at the brothel. He wasn’t that good at keeping in touch as he was such a passive person. Then again, he was uncertain if he needed another circle of friends that necessarily to begin with. Even though the picture of a friendship was lingering in the back of his head, he didn’t want to force it either.

 

“Two hours?!” Surprised, a little bit shocked too, Daniel straightened his back in the seat. It had been a long nap indeed. Sighing, he fell back against the backrest. He did feel a lot more awake and it may have paid off. In the meantime it had started to rain. “Huh, forty-one,” he repeated. He couldn’t say if he had thought that the other was younger or older than that, but it sounded just right. “I am thirty-six.” Upon hearing that they are going to get something to eat at the next gas station, Daniel nodded. “Sounds good.” He did laugh himself when Rex said he wouldn’t underestimate him and that Daniel might gauge out his eye with his finger. The brunette crossed his arms, shaking his head. “I am glad we agree on that.” Rex informed him that he had been awake for a week at least, maybe even ten days, and that he had been performing far more complex tasks back then. “Yeah, but, you know, still.”

 

They halted at a gas station and Daniel unbuckled. Rex opened the door for him and started to refuel the car after handing him money for their food and the patrol. Daniel climbed out of the car, shut the door and leaned up to place a kiss onto Rex’s cheek. “Yes, Sir.” He smiled, passing the blonde by to enter the gas station’s shop. Around this time it was quiet here and he could only see two other people walking around. The clerk who was sitting at the cash desk was reading a newspaper, wearing reading glasses low on his nose. Daniel first checked the prepared foods that didn’t need to be heated up and chose a sandwich with salad, mayo and salmon for himself. For Rex he grabbed a plastic box that consisted of packed up foods to build a meal oneself. It had ham, cheese, beans, corn, two sandwich breads and tomatoes in it. As for drinks Daniel took a water bottle for himself and a Monster energy drink for Rex. He paid for the foods, drinks and – he turned his head to check the station number – “Number two,” for the patrol. After the payment, he left the shop and returned to Rex. “All done. I hope I got you something you like. If not, I’ll just go in again,” he told he blonde, showing him the box he had chosen for him. “But it’s nutritious at least.” Daniel sat back down in the car and safely set the water bottle on the car’s ground in between his feet. The energy drink he placed into the cup holder of the car and stapled the wrapped meals securely on his lap. “We could park on the side and eat before we leave. Unless you don’t want to lose that time,” he suggested, pointing to the empty parking lots next to the gas station shop.

 

Upon opening the sandwich packaging, Daniel had to admit that he was hungry. The sandwich was cut diagonally into two pieces. He took one out and bit off the edge. The taste was fine, definitely satisfying his empty stomach. The whole sandwich was enough to fill him up and a few sips of water were refreshing. Now that he had received new energy, his mood lightened as well and he felt a lot better. It wasn’t the same as cooking, of course. Somehow, he did miss experimenting around, especially with baking. A fail wasn’t a huge miss, it was always fun to see how things turned out after adding some more ingredients. Decorating was the best part for sure. Why not put a giant marzipan carrot on a carrot cake? Or a tiger and some rocks on a green cake? Purple roses on a round birthday cake? Yes, all those things were fun to make and create. It took a lot of time as well, which was good, because he wasn’t the TV-type anyway and board games were boring to him too. Basketball and football had been quite the joy during his childhood, and later on during his teenage years it had been dancing, even though he had been an awful dancer at the start. Had he still had a date for prom? Definitely. Her name was Tiffany Durham and she had been in his music class. They had shared a lot of interests within the music business. She had had a great singing voice too, so they had spent a lot of afternoons after class composing and singing. Unfortunately, he had had to turn her down as she had confessed to him after prom, and after their graduation, he hadn’t seen her ever again.

 

Daniel stretched his arms behind his head. He exhaled through his nose as he leaned back against the seat and gently dented the plastic triangle his sandwich had been in. He looked out of the window and noticed, now that they were out of the city and the city lights effect didn’t apply, he could see the stars shining brightly on the night sky in between the rain clouds. Daniel checked to see if Rex had already finished his own meal and after he did, the brunette reached out for the blonde’s hand. “Let’s go outside for a walk!” he suggested, and apparently he wasn’t going to take a No for an answer as he already opened the door and took the empty plastics with him to throw them into the trash can standing at the side. He waited until Rex had also climbed out and took his hand once more, gently dragging him away from the car and to the other side of the gas station building where it was becoming darker. It was a gigantic concrete parking lot for busses and trucks. Only a few vehicles were parked here, but Daniel’s attention was fully turned towards the blanket of sheer rain clouds. The rain drops were cold to the touch, but rain had never been on the brunette’s dislike list. In fact, he had often gone outside as a kid during rainy days and his mother had scolded him for catching a cold because of that. Over the years his immune system had gotten stronger because of that habit, not entirely, yet enough to enjoy the rain. “What’s your zodiac sign?” Daniel asked, swiftly turning his head to look up towards the blonde before his gaze moved back up towards the stars. “It’s been a while since I’ve stood outside like this.” He admitted. There was a certain warmth that he felt when he was surrounded by nature – and also darkness. Even lying in bed in complete dark gave him a feeling of comfort. Nothing was nothing, and if nothing was there, there was literally nothing to worry about. And nature didn’t tell him what to do or what not to do. It just existed. He knew that most people nowadays didn’t live anymore, they just bathed in mere existence, but among all the work he usually went through, it was a calm moment to just be there and do nothing. But of course, right now, he was with someone else.

 

Daniel leaned against Rex’s shoulder, intertwining their fingers. A moment of silence passed and he rose the blonde’s hand to his lips, placing a kiss on the back side. Gently he rubbed over the side with his thumb. He spread the blonde’s fingers and traced their outlines with the fingertip of his other hand’s index finger. “I have to touch everything, it’s a really bad habit,” he said, chuckling. Daniel looked up towards his boyfriend, and as he did, he realized something. “Oh. We should probably go back. I don’t want our clothes to be soaking wet and accidently make your car wet.”

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He fell silent after the other had answered that it would make him understand if Hutson told him how he felt. That was an angle he had never looked at it from. Would it really be beneficial if he talked about things like that? “I never looked at it that way.” he acknowledged shortly, staring ahead onto the road as he was driving. “If you tell me what exactly you want to know, I’ll try to answer it.” he granted Daniel although he wasn’t so sure whether he’d not regret that later on.

 

The other man had apparently not noticed for just how long he had fallen asleep and Rex would have bet that the one getting tired again first would actually be the brunette and not him. Upon reaching the gas station he actually relaxed while he refuelled the car. He had always liked the smell of petrol and it felt good to be outside at least for a moment again after four hours of driving, hence he wasn’t in a hurry and kept on standing outside, stretching his bones, waiting for Daniel whom he had send to buy some food and to pay.

 

Once they were both back inside of the car and the blond had started the engine the brunette showed him the food he had bought for him, stating that he hoped he’d like it or else he’d go back inside and grab something different for him. Rex certainly had preferred the steak in the restaurant over that but it would do. He wasn’t a picky eater, he could eat almost everything if nothing else was available. “It’s fine. There is just one thing.” he said.

 

And the tall man took the plastic box, opened the window of the car, then the box, took the tomatoes with a screwed up nose and disgusted face and reached out his arm to throw them into the rubbish bin. “Those are abhorrent.” he commented, feeling a lot better about the food box without the tomatoes in it. He handed the box back to Daniel to hold it for him, closed the window and nodded when the man suggested driving to the parking lot to eat there.

 

Rex couldn’t say that the food tasted well. The bread he ate with the ham and cheese was floppy and the cold beans and corn didn’t rock his socks off either but it had to be expected. He drowned the petrol station food with gulps of the energy drink and stared into the night as they ate in silence. They still had a long way to go and somehow the former soldier wasn’t entirely sure whether he wanted to reach their destination anytime soon.

 

Something within him was feeling as though he returned home, was longing to see the familiar environment and landscapes, to hear the dialect that sounded like home to him but another part of him didn’t want to go back there and see that he wasn’t a part of his home anymore. That everything was going on without him now. It would bring back the painful feeling of having lost everything. Of those memories that’d never come back again.

 

Thus he wasn’t really moving once he had finished his meal and was just sitting there for another moment. He only turned his head when he felt warm fingers brushing his hand, taking it and green eyes were looking at him suggesting that they’d go for a walk.

 

The blond male nodded and left the car after Daniel, taking the plastic their food had been in to throw it into the nearest rubbish bin before he’d join his boyfriend who was taking his hand. It felt odd to walk with someone hand in hand again, with someone who was not Sebastian on top of that but odd in a good way. The moments in which he had been able of holding Sebastians hand had been rather special to him in a sense because the opportunity to do so publically and safely had seldom ever occurred. So many factors were to consider before one could decide on whether it was a good idea to hold another man’s hand in public, in that area, in that moment or not.

 

Since there was no one around on the parking lot and they were alone under the night sky it was safe to say that Daniel and him should be good, walking through the rain together. And somehow he was asking himself whether the other man was the type who’d get up in the middle of the night with him to drive hours to get into a storm, to walk into it and feel its power, to take those storm pictures Rex collected, like Sebastian had done for him although the man had clearly not enjoyed storms and walking into hurricanes like some maniac. Would Daniel ever be a maniac for him?

 

His train of thoughts was interrupted by the brunette asking him his zodiac sign and it made the former Major General raise an eyebrow. The other had asked Roger this before and Roger had asked the brunette whether he was a lesbian cat lady in response to that. However it was a reoccurring subject with Daniel and it definitely made Rex curious as to why he was asking people this. Why he was asking him that. What he hoped to gain from the information. Not that the blond could provide the man with this information to start with as he did not know his zodiac sign.

 

It had never been of his interest. He didn’t believe in something like that and his insanely Evangelical parents had deemed esoteric, astrology stuff ‘satanic witchcraft’ that stained the minds of innocent children. So they certainly had never talked about this kind of stuff either. “I don’t know.” he answered truthfully. “I was born on an 11th July if that helps.” the blond told Daniel.

 

“Why do you want to know that?” Rex inquired. “You already asked Roger that before. Is there something you hope to gain from that information?” he wanted to know. “If I have the ‘wrong’ sign will you break up with me then because we’re not destined to be?” he jested, lightly poking the other man with his elbow. “Roger was born on a 29th October by the way. No clue what sign it makes him though.” the blond shrugged.

 

Hearing that Daniel had not been outside like that for a long time wasn’t surprising. He hadn’t even left the city himself since a long time and one thing was for certain being outside in the city wasn’t the same as, well, being outside anywhere else. He sometimes felt like he wasn’t able to breathe in that city, as though it was making him sick and no, it definitely wasn’t because the government was poisoning the air like one of Roger’s many conspiracy theories went.

 

“It’s nice isn’t it?” Hutson remarked. “To be outside. Like this. I mean.” he added. “I have always loved the outdoors.” he shared and it was very true. Rex loved all kinds of outdoor activities; he even liked camping when it wasn’t on a camping side but far off from civilisation.

 

The man leaned his head against Daniel’s when the other was leaning against his shoulder and he was squeezing the man’s hand after their fingers had intertwined. His blue eyes were widening in surprise when the other man was placing a kiss onto the back of his hand and his hard features softened some when the other man was playing with his fingers, liking how silly and yet affectionate it was. Thus there was an immediate urge to protest within him when Daniel declared his touchiness a bad habit of his.

 

“I don’t mind.” he mumbled instead of vocalising that he liked to be touched by him and that he liked to touch Daniel too. That he wanted more touch. What he didn’t say he probably communicated otherwise though as his other hand grabbed the man’s arse, his finger’s firmly kneading the flesh when he was pressing a kiss onto the man’s lips, kissing him so intensely that one could have thought he wanted to devour him alive as the rain was pouring down on them, water running over their faces, drenching their hair and clothing. His heart was pounding somewhere in his throat and he felt all fuzzy even after the kiss broke and when he looked into the other man’s eyes.

 

His facial expression changed significantly when the other talked about accidentally getting his car wet though. When it came to his car Rex could take no joke. “I’ll have no choice but to abandon you at the side of the road when you get the leather of the seats wet!” Hutson said and while it sounded like a joke it wasn’t entirely. “I already told Roger before; if he’ll ever puke into my car I’ll kill him.” he told Daniel.

 

The blond man loved his Jeep and he tolerated no one staining it, getting it wet and much less vomiting into it. “Good for you that I always have my equipment in the back of the car and that I’ve got a few blankets and towels too, so you won’t have to strip.” he joked, walking towards the trunk of the car where he got two blankets out which he laid over both of their seats before they sat back inside of the car.

 

Throwing the other a grin he turned on the seat heater before he took another gulp from the energy drink, started the engine and drove back onto the road again. “Your arse should feel nice and cosy now.” he remarked jestingly.

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  • 2 weeks later...

It wasn’t surprising nor had he expected that Rex might share his view on deeper communication. However, he would positively take it, of course. Now, what did he want to know? Everything? That was certainly too much. “You know how people like to show others the good things that happen to them? Or accomplishments? It’s like that, just that you share things that bother you with me privately. I don’t want to push you into thinking that you are obliged to do that right away, but simply telling me how something makes you feel, maybe desperate, sorrowful or angry, that would help a lot. It’d stay in between us, of course.” It would completely defeat the purpose of sharing thoughts and feelings if Daniel were to share them with a third person, or, even worse, were to use them against Rex. It would also tear the trust they had built up apart and that was the last thing a decently intelligent and true person would want.

 

“Oh, come on,” Daniel worriedly said as Rex threw out the tomatoes. “You could have given them to me if you don’t like them.” He wasn’t all too serious, but he didn’t like wasting food. Though, maybe it was because he wasn’t a picky eater and could enjoy all kinds of foods, healthy or unhealthy. It still stood in contrast to his habit of eating little throughout the day.

 

As they stood in the light rain under the beautiful night sky and Rex told Daniel that he didn’t know his zodiac sign, the brunette couldn’t help but think about it. A lot of people of their era didn’t know their zodiac signs as it hadn’t been a big thing. Nowadays it was a little more popular. Upon learning Rex’ birthday date, Daniel looked at him with slight surprise in his emerald eyes. “You’re a cancer.” But before he could add anything, Rex bombarded him with the same questions as Roger had before. Was it that odd? Did it make him seem crazy that he was interested in things that weren’t proven to exist? Wasn’t it a little less of a risk than walking into storms and photographing them? “No, I won’t,” Daniel assured with a chuckle when he was asked if he would break up with Rex if their zodiacs weren’t compatible. “I like the mystery of the zodiac signs. It’s fun to see how people differ from what their zodiac says, or even better, when they exactly fit into the profile. Ah, October 29th? That makes him a Scorpio. Scorpios are the least liked of the twelve signs, they are the number one tyrant and the most egoistic and self-loving. Leos are on the second place of those characteristics, but the interesting part is that only Leos and Scorpios fight, despite being quite similar in a sense. They are said to feel drawn to each other, but they hate each other’s guts as well. They either make the perfect couple or the worst. None of the other signs likes be around them when they are together.” He chuckled. “But that’s all just theory. It’s a fun theory, though. Male Cancers are the family-friendliest and most helpful sign. They often act selfless because they want to protect those dear to them. They put emotional attachments over materialism. They are also good at making gifts.” Back when the Cosmos magazines had come out with all those zodiac sign girl tests, Monique had kept track on that for a long while in middle school. Daniel had learnt a lot about it, but many definitions had changed over time and when he had checked a few of those ‘who are you destined to be with’ magazine pages, the explanations had been a lot more precise. “Horoscopes and zodiac definitions are often-times shallowly written, so most people fit into ‘their’ category. But there is a lot more to look into; for example, there is a moon sign and a sun sign. Your zodiac sign Cancer is your sun sign, your main sign. However, your moon sign is the emotional sign and can be calculated with the time you were born at. It depends on how the stars were aligned or something like that. So, you are a mixture of two signs, a mixture of a few characteristics. But again, just theory. A lot of it is probably arbitrary too. And it’s superstition at some point.”

 

Daniel looked at the blonde with surprise in his eyes when Rex said that he didn’t mind his annoying habit. He said it so quickly, so self-confidently. “Okay.” The brunette smiled. “I won’t stop then.” He promised, and he was fairly shocked by the sudden touch of the other man. Obviously, or apparently, Rex really didn’t mind. And Daniel didn’t either. He first grinned into the kiss, bringing his other hand up to the blonde’s jaw. His fingertips drove downwards along the bone and halfway went a level lower to the neck, tracing the aorta underneath. However, he couldn’t help the excitement he felt rising inside him because of the rough touch. His breath hitched briefly during the kiss and his fingers tensed as they slid down Rex’s clothed chest with pressure. Daniel’s grip on Rex’s hand grew stronger in that moment, and at some point, they had to break the kiss, and the brunette could feel the consequences. He leaned back and took his hand from the other’s chest, cleaning his throat. It was a good thing that it was raining and dark, otherwise one would be able to see the redness on his face.

 

“Oh, eh, okay.” The brunette said, lifting his hands in a defensive manner. He wasn’t sure at first if it was a joke, but apparently it wasn’t. At least he was only on the ‘would abandon on the street’ list and not on the ‘would kill’ list. That was an upgrade for sure. The duo returned to the car and Rex covered the seats in blankets. Daniel laughed when Rex said that he was lucky he had those towels and blankets so the brunette wouldn’t have to strip. “A shame,” he jokingly answered, even though he didn’t dislike the thought of being with Rex naked. Though he had to ban that thought from his mind as he didn’t want to accidently daydream. Daniel climbed into the car and Rex turned on the seat heater, remarking that he should be feeling better now. “Yes, it perfectly does.” After buckling up, the brunette crossed his legs and looked out of the window. As they were driving in the middle of the night, there was almost nothing to see, though it was also relaxing, because nothingness was relaxing to him.

 

“Do you prefer silence or entertainment when you drive?” Daniel asked Rex. The blonde was the one who was driving and although the former musician didn’t doubt his words, he didn’t want to risk Rex losing concentration. He himself usually kept the music on and sang along if he got tired. He knew that they shared anything but the taste in music, so there was little sense in putting suggesting Survivor, Europe, Anastasia or Bonnie Tyler. Storytelling, maybe? He wasn’t that good at it nor did he know what Rex would be interested in.

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It apparently wasn’t something specific Daniel wanted to know how he felt about, the man much rather wanted Hutson to spontaneously talk about his feelings when he felt them. That was making it a lot more difficult for the former soldier. “I’ll try.” he assured the brunette though. And he would try but couldn’t promise much. He wasn’t someone who was quite in touch with his own emotions. When something was negative he usually felt angry and when it was positive he was different degrees of alright all the way up to happy. His feelings weren’t something he analysed a lot or at all. It was more as if he and his emotions were estranged roommates who resided in the same place but mostly did their own thing not wanting to be bothered by the other party. Rex really didn’t want to be bothered by his feelings but they weren’t an exactly good roommate because they still got on his nerves more often than he’d liked.

 

The blond was a lot less flexible when it came to the tomatoes and his boyfriend complaining about him having thrown them into the rubbish bin, suggesting that he could just have given them to him though. “No.” he protested. “I couldn’t kiss you anymore then because you’d taste like those disgusting things.” he pointed out with a screwed up nose thinking about the taste of tomatoes. Even the smell of them was nauseating. It wasn’t as though Rex didn’t like tomatoes, he abhorred and hated them, their taste was repulsive in his opinion. He’d rather eat a roasted rat than tomatoes.

 

Standing in the rain on the parking lot that was washing out the products in his hair and making his appearance less strict and less polished, having told the other man his birthday he didn’t know what he expected from this, he probably didn’t expect anything, but he hadn’t reckoned with the surprise that was written over the face of his brunette boyfriend. Well, most people expected he had been born on some stormy winter day as he didn’t appear to be the sunny type of guy and thus some were surprised that he had been born on a mild summer night. “I know, I am not the sunniest surfer summer type of guy.” he expressed drily to pre-empt that comment.

 

Daniel’s surprise was however of another nature since he was quick to let Hutson know that his zodiac sign was, apparently, Cancer. He couldn’t make anything out of this information. The other could have spoken in Chinese to him and he would have gained just as much information. “Aha.” he recognised it though. “Can’t say I like crawfish.” the blond commented. “When I’ve been to the beach with Sebastian twenty or fifteen years or so ago one of those fuckers got a little too attached to my foot and wouldn’t let me shake it off. Sebastian had to make it let go and I had to get a tetanus vaccination.” he remembered. “I had crawfish for dinner later on though. Felt really triumphing.” a deep chuckle was coming from him.

 

Needless to say Rex didn’t take the whole zodiac sign thing seriously and he didn’t believe in it. For him this was pretty much all a complete hoax with no actual basis in anything. He wasn’t a superstitious man or a believer and despite being a traditional man he was just as pragmatic and rational. He also wasn’t prone to what other people would have described as ‘mysteries’ or ‘mysterious’. Roger would have been a better address for that. Heck, if Daniel did it right Roger might as well develop a new conspiracy theory based off of zodiac signs.

 

However, he found it quite charming how much Daniel was interested and invested in that stuff and how much he apparently knew about all of this. He too couldn’t deny that he found it hilarious that the former musician was really quick to point out that Roger was a Scorpio and that it was the least liked zodiac sign one could be and that it too was the zodiac sign for tyrants and egomaniac people. “You really don’t like Roger much do you?” Rex commented with a raised eyebrow and a wide amused grin. The grin turned into a full blown laugh when Daniel told him that Leo’s weren’t well liked too and that Scorpios and Leos made awful couples no one wanted to be around when they were together. “His wife must have been a Leo then. They were an awful couple from what I know.” he remarked. “I think she was born at the end of March. I know because David and I had to drive Roger to the post office where he was sending ‘birthday presents’ with a lot of horrible shit in them to his old address for her. He also seriously placed dog shit between the pages of a newspaper, set the newspaper on fire and rang the door bell.” Hutson informed Danny.”His wife did step into the dog shit but she also slipped and broke her hip on the stairs. Roger called it the best day since a really long time when he showed us the video of the incident.”

 

After they had talked about the fact that Roger’s dream partner probably wasn’t a Leo Daniel went over to tell him a little about what characteristics were attributed to his own sign and admittedly he was a protective family type of man. He wasn’t good at making gifts though. At least he thought he wasn’t good at it. He usually didn’t really know what the person really wanted or needed and he didn’t want to give them some rubbish so he usually gave them money or gift cards so that they could get what they wanted. And most people found money and gift cards impersonal and boring. Sebastian had been the exception, he had actually given him actual presents and for all the times he had gotten it right, there had been times where he had gotten it totally wrong. The funny thing had been, whenever he had gotten it totally wrong it had amused Sebastian extremely and they had ended up having an amazing time with whatever unfitting stuff Rex had given him. “Don’t get your hopes up. I am not a good gift giver.” he warned the other with a slight smile on his lips.

 

Hutson frankly found all of that arbitrary and he had heard about sun and moon signs for the first time when the other man explained it to him now. To him the personality of a person was determined by neurological, psychological, developmental and environmental factors as well as a genetic component, plain and simple. The constellation of the stars and planet by the time of their birth had no influence on this whatsoever. Anyhow, since he obviously liked the other man he didn’t mind playing along and talking about the other’s interest although he had absolutely no clue about it himself. “So…” he looked at the shorter man with raised eyebrows and a cocky grin on his face. “What about our zodiac signs now? Will people find us to be an awful couple they don’t want to be around too? Or do the stars say we’re cute?” he asked playfully.

 

With or without the approval of the stars Rex kissed the other heatedly just a few moments later though and he got quite hot from it so talking about his car and making it clear that his car was sacred was a welcome distraction from how much he desired the other at this point, in that unfitting, random situation on a rainy parking lot near the highway.

 

Once they were both seated in the car again, the leather protected by blankets and back on the road the other asked him an odd question. “I can do without mortal danger such as ambushes, attacks and looking out for mines while driving.” he answered the question whether he liked to drive in silence or wanted entertainment while driving. “Whether I just listen to my music when I drive alone or I have company who like to talk to me doesn’t really matter. I enjoy the drive either way.” he said. “As long as the person takes the time to breath that is.” he added. If someone was just constantly talking without a single break for over twenty hours straight that would get annoying at one point.

 

After another four hours of driving they had at least reached Virginia, the landscapes had changed multiple times and midnight had passed for a while now and the energy drink was assaulting his bladder and he really needed to take a piss. Thus he wordlessly drove off the road and parked the car. “I gotta go.” he just said, walked a few steps into the wilderness that was only disturbed by the country road they had been driving on for quite a while now. As he was watering some plant he felt a great relieve and relaxation since he had been holding it for a while now leading to him pissing for a while now too.

 

It didn’t rain here and the breeze was pleasant on his skin and not far from where he was standing he could spot a nice, inviting lake. When he was finished and had closed his pants he stretched himself and walked back to the car but instead of getting back inside, he just leaned into it. “Do you know how to swim?” he asked Daniel. “There’s quite the beautiful lake out here. Could be refreshing.” he promoted the idea that had just come to him spontaneously.

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At first, Daniel narrowed his eyebrows in confusion when Rex so self-confidently answered his complaint with a “No,” but the further explanation got him to laugh. “Okay, I knew there would be a time at which I would have to cut tomatoes out of my diet, and I guess it is now,” he joked. There were a few people he had encountered that didn’t like tomatoes and everything was possible, so why not.

 

“That’s fine,” the brunette answered. “You don’t have to be the sunniest surfer summer type of guy, wherever you got that phrase from. Be the darkest winter type of guy, that way you’ll fit the rainy days, because those are the most relaxing days.” As he learnt of the story with the crawfish, Daniel couldn’t help but chuckle. “Oh my, it must’ve really liked you, huh? Well, point to you eventually.”

 

A little embarrassed, the brunette tapped his chin with his free hand as Rex remarked that he didn’t like Roger a lot. “I… maybe. But I am not going to talk bad behind his back in your presence. That’s mean and impolite,” he informed him strictly. So, it was better not to talk about Roger at all, especially after he had heard the story about his wife. Apparently, Roger and Daniel simply weren’t on the same page. He couldn’t imagine doing something as trivial as that to another person out of rage. It was probably because he wasn’t a rage-person, or at least he had decided for himself that he didn’t want to be. He didn’t want to lose control like his mother had oftentimes. “That’s… unique.”

 

Daniel shook his head. “You don’t have to be a good gift giver. I am a little materialistic, but not that much anymore. I like planning and giving presents nonetheless.” Rex addressed the couple-factor of zodiac sings and it was the perfect move to change the subject as fast as possible. “Hmm…” Daniel shifted his weight from one foot to the other as he went through the memories of his teenage life. “Caner and Gemini are said to be a problematic trouble, regardless of their gender. At first, they seem to be the perfect couple and they tend to instantly, mostly without a second thought, get into a love affair. However, it’s not said to be a long-term as Geminis don’t like staying at home like Cancers do, so their points of view clash after a while. Cancers are said to be quite sensitive and Geminis oftentimes step over the limit and hurt other people’s feelings without noticing it. That’s why both have to develop a level of trust big enough to open up to each other and understand each other’s points of view and eventually compromise. So I’d say… the stars don’t see us as cute but as feisty.” He added with a giggle.

 

They got back into the car and Rex drove back onto the highway. He answered Daniel’s question as to whether he preferred silence or entertainment while driving. “Ah, yes, I can understand that,” Daniel answered. His smile grew when the blonde assured him that, actually, he didn’t care. “I’d usually sing along with Whitney Houston and Britney Spears, but I’ll give your ears a few more years to live and not do that.” He leaned back in the seat and softly crossed his hands on his lap. “Okay… Since we are on a trip, I have to annoy you with SOME story in the friendliest way possible.” He tapped his chin, his gaze ahead on the highway in a thoughtful manner. “Because you are not into horror, we’ll just go with something crazy. On New Year’s Eve my mom and I were always working because we had the most customers in that night. We had still set up the Christmas tree in the lobby and it was, take my work, huge. It went all up to the ceiling and everything on there was made of glass. Against our expectations, it didn’t break down before, on or after Christmas, BUT in that particular night from December 31st to January 1st, there had been a problem at the local pet store only a mile or two away and they had somehow managed to lose half of their dogs. Who knows what happened, someone got fired that night, but oh well. Anyway, somewhere throughout the night as I was taking clothes out of the washing machines in the cellar I heard rumbling inside the ventilation shaft above me. I followed the sound and went to the next-best room where a ventilation shaft starts and took off the protection. At first, there was nothing to see or hear inside it, but soon after there were approximately fifty steps running towards me. It was ten puppies of different kinds and they had been lured by the donut I had had in my hand, which I had completely forgotten about. So the first puppy snaps it away from and the rest of the bunch barks at me with their tails wagging and whatnot. I did make the mistake of opening the door to get my mom, because that was the moment they escaped. It was the biggest chaos that officially happened in my mom’s hotel and it was all over the news the next few days. The puppies ran all the way up to the lobby and – of course – saw the Christmas tree. How had they gotten into the shaft in the first place? I don’t know. I still don’t know. Why were they so interesting in everything shiny on the Christmas tree? Because my mom likes dogs a lot and some of the Christmas decorations looked like those bone treats you give dogs. They approached the tree and collided with it with, what I believe to have seen, the strength of a bear. The whole thing gives in, obviously, and it fell down onto the ground. Nobody was hurt because it was the middle of the night and mostly everyone had been out or in the restaurant. Because all the ornaments were broken, the puppies started to just pick at the tree itself. My mom freaked out with a mixture of despair, fear, joy and disbelief. She called the police, the firefighters, the dog shelter, everyone – and every line was constantly busy. So what did we do? Right, we caught the puppies with real treats and got every single one of them a glitter bow made of soft wrapping paper to function as some kind of collar so we could tie them together to keep them in place. My mom tried to walk to the police station, but it took them two hours still to believe her and actually come to get the dogs. Unfortunately, or fortunately, probably depends on how you look at it, they didn’t have the space or people to care for the dogs, so we just kept them overnight until employees of the dog shelter arrived on the next day to get them. Good thing is, many of the guests got in contact with the puppies and most of them got adopted the following week.”

 

After some time Rex halted on the side of the road to leave and release himself. “Sure,” Daniel nodded. He took out his phone to check the time. It was way past a normal bed time. His sleeping schedule still wasn’t fixed and he had napped before so he was feeling okay. Still, it would prove to be a problem later on he was sure. It took his boyfriend a longer time to return in which he wondered why he himself hadn’t felt the need to pee yet. Maybe it was because he hadn’t drunken as much. He seemed to consume significantly less than the former general.

Rex opened the door but instead of climbing in he leaned in to ask Daniel if he could swim. The brunette was ready to answer with “Yes” before he learnt of further information, and it made him raise an eyebrow with a smile. “Now? I am sure the lake is cold at this hour.” He opened the door and got out of the car himself, breathing in the refreshing night air. The temperature was indeed comfortable to be outside. Daniel rounded the car to stand in front of the blonde. His gaze wandered around to see that they were alone here. The highway wasn’t busy at this hour either. “We don’t have anything to change with us,” he reminded Rex. “Unless you’d like to use towels as bathing trunks the old-fashion way.” On another note they had been wet before due to the rain. Not soaking wet but still.

 

“Where is the lake?” Asking this and following Rex, Daniel stepped farther towards the lake and watched small waves expanding on the water surface. It was indeed beautiful and inviting. It seemed clear and there was no strong current of water that would cause trouble. He knelt to tip his finger into the water. It wasn’t as cold as he had originally anticipated. Virginia had its bonuses. Daniel stood up again and turned to face Rex. “I’d suggest you feel the temperature, but I guess you’ve had showers colder than this,” he smiled. “Anyway, since it was your idea, you go first.” He dramatically said, gesturing towards the lake with his open hand. Part of him believed that Rex would do it without a second thought and another part of him did actually want to witness that. Not because the blonde would randomly swim in a lake at approximately three AM in the morning but because he would have to take his clothes off for it. Those were some precise thoughts but he couldn’t deny it. He knew he would still get embarrassed for it as he didn’t have the skill to watch people he found attractive with little clothes on with a poker face, but was it worth it in the dark? Yes.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hutson broke out in an involuntary fit of laughter when Daniel had told him what their zodiac signs said about them as a couple and their compatibility. He hadn’t intended to blatantly laugh about this stuff but this was just so far off that he couldn’t help it. It appeared that it was not near arbitrary and general enough to only score one fitting point here. This was probably as far off as it got. Rex and Daniel had definitely not seemed like the perfect couple at first, they had actually seemed like the most unfitting people on the planet and two men most unlikely to ever get romantically involved. Thus there too had been no thoughtless rush into a relationship either.

 

The characteristics were quite wrong too. The blond man wasn’t a staying at home type of guy. He liked the outdoors. Daniel, who had expressed that he liked to watch movies on the couch and things like this was probably more prone to staying at home than he was. Actually, ever since Sebastian had died Rex couldn’t stand being at home. He was at home as little as possible and was constantly doing something. And he too wasn’t sensitive to words or he’d have ceased to being Roger’s friend eons ago. He had known that this was utter nonsense from the start and yet he couldn’t help but to find it hilarious just how wrong this was. “Feisty, huh?” he commented still chuckling. “Well, at least according to this stuff I should be able to make it up to you with my gift making skills.” he joked, not getting how the other could actually see a point in any of this stuff. “Do you actually believe in this?” he asked then, as it was indeed difficult to imagine. “Not that I’d mind. I don’t care what you believe for the most part as long as you’re not a follower of the ideology of Islam that is.” he told him.

 

Back in the car, after he had told Daniel that he enjoyed the drive whether someone talked or not he was informed that the other man apparently had a habit of singing along to Whitney Houston and Britney Spears and it was in that moment that the former soldier realised that his new boyfriend had a truly horrendous taste in music. One eyebrow raised up he threw him a gaze. “Yeah, I’d appreciate if you were sparing me that forever.” he commented. He couldn’t say that he had liked everything Sebastian had listened to but the other man had mostly listened to classical music which had been absolutely fine with Rex, even enjoyable. But this Britney Spears stuff… it was quite baffling that an adult man actually listened to that.

 

The story the other man told him then was a lot more pleasant than the idea of Whitney Houston playing in his car and his lover singing along with it. Heck, it had Christmas trees and puppies, what was not to like about that? It was almost impossible to dislike and it even managed to make a small smile appear on the blond man’s lips. He really liked dogs and he found puppies were adorable. Although he wouldn’t say so because he didn’t use terms such as ‘adorable’ for animals because he would find it would sound really weird if he did. He was also happy that the dogs got adopted. He’d probably have adopted a dog too. Although, maybe not a puppy but an older one because the puppies usually had it a lot easier than the adult dogs to get adopted since most people wanted little puppies. Rex would have probably come back with an old dog with grey patches who looked completely shaggy or something. But he’d also not say that because it was something that his father and many others would have called him a moron for.

 

“It’s a nice story.” he said. “Did you keep one?” the man asked. “A puppy. I mean.” he clarified. “Do canines get lured by donuts though?” the blond doubted. “Our hunting dogs liked the smell of meat better, I can tell you that much. They were a lot like me in that regards.” he jested before his mind wandered back to the Christmas tree.

 

His family had always had a giant tree as well. It oftentimes had touched the ceiling and putting the angel up on top had sometimes been a really tricky, near impossible thing. Christmas time had been important in his household and despite it being centred around religion and being a time of worship it had also been festive and cosy and a family holiday and just overall nice. Yes, they had read the Bible but his mother had decorated the house as well and she had cooked a fancy dinner and baked cookies and all of those things too even though consumerism hadn’t really been much of a part of it and Santa had not been given much attention either because it obviously was about Jesus for his family. Roger’s Christmas had been the exact opposite of that. An opulent celebration, a hired Santa Claus bringing tons of presents and everything screaming entertainment!

 

If he was honest this would have not been for Rex at all. The Christmas times he had enjoyed the most had been those he had spend with Sebastian though. They had had their own tree and their own little traditions and he had loved that. And since Sebastian wasn’t anymore, Christmas hadn’t been anymore for the blond man either. He had ignored it for the most part and had met up with Roger who too had ignored it and had come up with a conspiracy theory as to how Christmas was a scam to distract them from how they were exploited and dulled but he hadn’t even been able to convince himself with his own theory to feel better and had always been obviously incredibly depressed.

 

“Do you like Christmas time?” he asked Daniel, because not everybody did. “Did your family have Christmas traditions? How do you celebrate now?” he was curious.

 

After he had had to park the car to take a piss and had returned to the car, suggesting to Daniel that they’d go for a swim in the lake he had stumbled upon, the brunette man hesitated, telling him that he thought that the lake was probably cold at this hour. It made Rex grin cockily. “Yes, now. Come on don’t be a sissy.” he urged him but Daniel already got out of the car. Apparently this didn’t mean that he didn’t have other concerns though. Apparently he worried about clothing to change into and this time Hutson chuckled amused, shaking his head. “What do we need a change of clothing for? We’re not going to jump into that lake with our clothing on. Well, I am not going to do that. Besides, I always got my hunting equipment and clothing in the trunk.” he informed Danny, finding his train of thought quite funny.

 

It didn’t take long for them to arrive at the lake. It was quiet, seemingly asleep at this hour and the darkness made the water appear black with the exception of the moons reflection on it. And when he saw Daniel kneeling down, dipping a single finger into the lake he couldn’t believe what he saw and couldn’t help but to laugh. He reminded him a lot of his sister Hannah right now who had always made a massive fuss when she had been in nature and someone had suggested they’d go swimming in a lake or river. Her argument had been that there were creatures in the water and what if there were alligators in it and she usually had refused to go in if no one had thrown her in that was. And whenever that had happened she had usually screamed as if she had been about to die, getting eaten by an alligator.

 

Obviously his suggestion to Rex that he should feel the temperature was merely acknowledged by a smirk and he found it quite hilarious in general how dramatic the other man was about it, being adamant that he go first since it had been his idea. Hutson had no issue with that at all. Without further ado he opened the first few buttons on his shirt and then pulled it over his head, revealing his muscular, hairy chest, the moonlight highlighting how truly pale and white his skin was. The man dropped the shirt onto the ground, removed his shoes and stripped out of his pants before his boxers came off and landed on the pile of clothing as well, revealing the thick blond bush over his cock where the hair that grew from his navel downwards ended. Rex’s arse and thighs were just as muscular as the rest of the man who didn’t have an issue with being naked although the fact that he was into Daniel and Daniel was into him, made it feel different than being naked in front of some randos in the gym after all and he could feel his heart thump hard against his will .

 

It also made him behave differently as he directly looked at Daniel. “There! Happy?” he asked the grin still on his lips and as he had slightly turned towards his boyfriend showing him his palms the moonlight did a splendid job at highlighting the parts that were usually covered. His abs and his flaccid dick that was so average despite his height that it came as so much of a surprise to some guys in the gym that they couldn’t help but to look and then demonstratively looking away because they had just broken an unwritten locker room law were highlighted in silver light.

 

He didn’t wait for an answer and didn’t stay like this for long though as he soon turned towards the lake took a run-up and jumped inside of the cooling water head first. Did it feel cold on his naked skin the first seconds where his body was embraced and completely hugged by the lake that was significantly cooler than his body temperature, yes, but as he was diving in it after a moment that feeling turned into a comfortable one and he enjoyed how light the water made his body feel, how he seemed to float in it and how it caressed his body. He even liked the smell of nature, of the lake and the tickling, cool feeling of the breeze when he emerged on the surface and shook the water out of his hair. “What are you waiting for?” he asked Daniel. “Come on in now or I’m gonna get you.” he said.

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Rex started laughing heartily at Daniel‘s explanation about their zodiac signs‘ relationship remarks. It was understandable since they were completely wrong, but still the brunette hadn‘t expected such a reaction. As far as things had gone until now, he had only expected a smirk, not a full laughter. Hearing Rex laugh always caught him off guard, still did. It felt like the blonde skipped a few steps on the emotion scale, going from one to nine immediately. However, Daniel chuckled when Rex joked about his phantom-ability to make great gifts. „That sounds great.“ Afterwards he was asked if he really believed in astrology. Daniel pursed his lips in thought, looking up into the darkness of the night. „I don‘t take it too seriously. But I like the idea that something is up there. My mother isn‘t religious at all so I don‘t have that strong belief in some man drawing destinies and fate. Or heaven or even hell. I don‘t see anything when I look up to the sky, there is just nothingness. The freedom of the universe that lets us do whatever we want and even though it sounds so promising it is frightening. We are not destined to do something specific, we don‘t get magically rewarded if we are good and work hard, and our lives don‘t matter to the universe or to earth. Mother nature couldn‘t care less if we are dead or alive. That makes the world so empty. I guess if something as little as zodiac sign remarks are there to read up on, I like to think - just for a moment - that we aren‘t completely lost and forsaken and just another evolutionary step of earth looking towards our own death as time passes. But of course I have to acknowledge that astrology is just another farce just like alchemy was back in the day. Believing in something not science-based isn‘t a solution.“ Of course he hadn‘t held thoughts as depressive as the mentioned before he had left his family and friends behind twelve years ago. Only after losing everything he had noticed that he had nothing to hold onto anymore, which was only logical to realize with time. To have no goals had left the brunette just living along. He didn‘t see a sense in life but also he didn‘t see no sense in living. There was no reason to kill himself or to go berserk. Before meeting Rex he had kept on doing the same things over and over for years without a primary goal.

 

After Daniel had told his little Christmas story to Rex in the car, the blonde expressed his delight. It was obvious that he liked dogs, he had had one himself as Daniel remembered. „Oh, no I didn‘t,“ Daniel answered the question as to whether he had adopted one back then as well. „We didn‘t have the time to care for a pet. I didn‘t feel the need to get one too.“ He tapped his chin. „I really don‘t know why they were after my doughnut… Dogs are carnivores, right? Yeah. It was a weird night back then.“ But at least it had been a joyful night full of surprises. Something he knew would only live on in his memories. There was no chance he could re-live that no matter how much he liked to linger in the good parts of his past. The negative may weigh more, but he believed that if he held onto whatever was left of the positive, he would be able to keep on moving on. Regret was an utterly bitter feeling that always left a burning pain in his chest. Sorrow was always a sour taste in his mouth. And of course three times was the charm, and so his self-hatred, which had long ago dug a deep and empty hole in his heart, completed that circle of pain he had created for himself. At least when other people were around he felt like a normal person, felt like it didn‘t matter what had happened.

 

Daniel couldn‘t help but choke on oxygen at Rex‘s joke, followed by the a chuckle. „Oh my, that was unexpected.“ It was at least a seven on the joke scale. And even though he should have expected the next question, it did kind of caught him off-guard. Did he like Christmas time? He wasn‘t so sure. „What did Christmas celebrations actually look like in real life?“ he wondered out loud. „I‘ve seen movies where everything is lit up and there are cookies and cakes and all that and the family has Dinner together. Was it like that?“ he seriously asked. „We only decorated the lobby of the hotel, my mom and I. She didn‘t like cooking and since we wouldn‘t be able to just order something because it was Christmas, we usually bought frozen vegetables and chicken ahead of time and ate those. With time I got interested in baking and baked a few cookies, but my mom wouldn‘t eat them unless they were low in calories. So I made low-calorie cookies instead on the same night and she finally ate three of them. After I had graduated from highschool, I didn‘t come home for Christmas or Thanksgiving anymore, just for New Year‘s Eve, because oftentimes I would be at the recording studio working or practising. As I was earning money though, I finally got to buy my mom presents and send them to her for Christmas. I only did that once because she didn‘t like it, but I did it nonetheless. And now, well, I haven‘t had anyone I liked to spend with on Christmas Eve for the past twelve years, so I don‘t know if I really like it. It is nice to spend time with people anyway in my opinion. I don‘t really get that huge family-feeling that is said to come with Christmas. But I like buying people gifts.“ He was quite into materialistic possessions and thus handing a person he liked a present without expecting anything in return was the greatest way to show affection in his eyes.

 

Rex explained that he hadn‘t planned on swimming in the lake with clothes on anyway. Daniel tsk-ed and crossed his arms softly. „So that‘s where it‘s going, huh?“ It made sense too. He wondered why he hadn‘t thought of that sooner. It was surely the only way to keep their clothes dry, but when you‘re from Florida you expect the weirdest ideas and not the most logical ones. „You‘ve got clothing in your car boot? Uh, sure, why not.“

 

They walked to the lake, and as Daniel had demanded, Rex went in first. He took his clothes off like it was no big deal. It probably wasn‘t either, because they were both men. Girls would undress among their kind too. But no matter how often Daniel told that himself, he couldn‘t help and redden immediately on the cheeks. Feeling nervousness creeping up inside him he tried to focus on something else, like the reflection of the moon on the water, his gaze down. He was trying to play cool but obviously he was really bad at it. Only when Rex was done undressing, Daniel glanced once more at him, but his eyes moved elsewhere almost instantly again within a single blink. Sure, the blonde was handsome, but even more so without anything on him and the last thing Daniel wanted to do was stare. It had never been a problem at the brothel whenever someone had run around nude, but as Hutson was an object of interest to him, he reacted differently without being able to control it. “Yes, sure, happy, uhm, yeah.” The splashing sound of the water gave him a green light only a moment later. Daniel turned his head to see Rex emerge from the water after a dive. “I suddenly miss Florida’s heat,” Daniel said smiling as he thought it had to be quite the pain to jump into cold water at a cool night like this. Then again, Rex was still a trained man who had gone through a lot of disciplined military work and thus Daniel doubted that the blonde minded.

 

“Are you sure you’d be able to catch me?” Daniel remarked upon hearing the subtle threat. “Alright, alright, I’ll come in.” He carefully stripped out of the jacket and the shirt and placed them down, folded, on a clean spot in the grass. He unbuttoned the wine red jeans and added them to the pile, along with the socks and the underwear. He hadn’t changed a lot since their visit at the motel. He was still slender although with a few muscular lines on his arms and on his tummy due to the lack of fat. His legs were thin compared to Rex’s and his hips were small, though his butt and his thighs did show the sign of actual strength and muscle growth, like horse riders would have, even though Daniel had surely not been riding a horse. The fine light hairs he had on his arms repeated on his chest and didn’t really do a great job hiding anything; if anything, his upper body looked smooth. However, the hair growth on his lower abdomen and genital area was advanced, still shaved down to a centimetre of length and yet it was of good coverage. The pubic hair was dark, almost black in the night’s white moon light compared to his fair skin, and formed a well-edged arrow from his navel downwards to the shaft of his penis.

 

Daniel approached the lake where it cut into the grass and stepped into the water. Its cold gave him goose bumps immediately, obviously it would feel different on his entire body than just on the tip of his finger. He didn’t worry about small creatures or getting a cold in the water though, if anything he liked water beings. Except for octopi. Octopi were scary. Those long arms and glitchy arms gave Daniel the creeps. He’d rather look into the dead eyes of a great white shark than touching an octopus. “Brrr,” Daniel murmured as he was chest-deep in the water, his arms crossed to save warmth. “The last time I felt this cold in water was in the pool at night swimming in the rain when I was a teenager,” he admitted. “But,” he lifted his index finger, “you know what’s the good thing about water? It makes things lighter and float easier.” To prove his, apparently, nonsense point that had nothing to do with swimming in a lake at night, he approached Rex and set a hand on each of the other’s shoulder, then pulled himself up a little to meet the other’s gaze on the same eye level. “Look, we’re the same height now,” he smiled. “Finally,” he added jokingly.

 

He let go again and sank back into the water to stand, the water reaching up to his protruding collarbones. His gaze went up to the moon and then down to the bushes around the lake. “You know, a horror movie I watched started like this,” he remarked with a chuckle. It was a good thing that he wasn’t paranoid and could still sleep well at night after watching horrible ghost stories. He remembered Monique always being upset and startled as soon as he would turn the lights off after they had finished a horror movie. Daniel brought his hands up to cup Rex’s face. “But you are not the type to get possessed by a ghost,” he said with a flirty undertone. “Handsome guys never get targeted by the undead.” He leaned up to place a kiss on the blonde’s lips. It was a weird thing to flirt about, but sometimes he did feel the urge to watch a scary movie and forget about the world for two hours, sinking into a fictional nightmare that wasn’t real instead and so, so much worse. Daniel drove his fingers through Rex’s wet hair and stroked the strands back; his fingertip ghosted downwards the neck along the spine to the spot where the scapulae spread to both sides. Then he set down all five fingertips and drew invisible lines back up to Rex’s right shoulder, over that enarthrosis and down to the chest where he lifted his hand off the foreign body eventually. His left hand softly remained on Rex’s cheek, careful not to cause him pain by pressing too hart on the bruises. It was a good thing that the water was so cold because romantic thoughts always came hand in hand with certain naughty thoughts in Daniel’s mind. He stared into Rex’s eyes for a fair amount of time until he snapped out of it and finally removed his hand from the blonde’s face. Though he did remember that Rex indeed like touching and Daniel told himself to keep his hands above the water.

 

Daniel started tracing Rex’s collarbone as it started from the shoulder and stretched to the head of the ribcage. His eyes locked with the other man’s. “You said you’d watch a movie even though you don’t like movies. So, I thought about one that you might enjoy too. Have you watched the Pirates of the Caribbean movies? They are hilarious. If it’s bad, you can take a shot every time I laugh.”

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  • 2 weeks later...

His question as to whether Daniel actually believed in Astrology revealed a deeply ingrained nihilism and lack of purpose within the other and his interest in zodiac signs and Astrology turned out to be a desperate wish for a constant, something that made life less empty and arbitrary, it was sad and pitiful in a sense. The blond man didn’t believe in any higher power, in a religion or a predestined fate or universal purpose and still his life wasn’t a meaningless wasteland to him and it didn’t have to be for the other man either.

 

“Just because there is no higher power that guides us it doesn’t mean that our lives and existences don’t matter and have no purpose.” his deep voice sounded rather serious as he looked at the other. “That there is no prewritten plan to our lives and whether we matter to the universe or not is irrelevant, this is not needed to find meaning and purpose in life.” Hutson found. “Our lives matter and have meaning to our lovers, our families, our friends, our towns, communities, our nations and they hold meaning to us. Belonging and contribution gives purpose, something to live and fight for. To protect and preserve what we hold dear and to better the future for those we care about.” Rex stated firmly, with a sense of pride swelling in his chest as he told the other the purpose he had found for himself.

 

Granted, since Sebastian had been murdered and his family had disowned him there weren’t many people left to whom he mattered and who mattered to him and since he had lost his home town as well what remained was his nation that took an even higher priority than it had before within his life, what made it a lot more essential for him to better it and preserve it, to fight for it and to correct and clean up the mess that’s been made. In a sense this priority had gained too much weight and Rex had lost the balance he had once had also thanks to Sebastian who had had a moderating effect on him. That was now gone and Hutson was more radical than he had been before and the people he called his friends weren’t people who had a moderating effect. Actually, when it came to Roger, it was Rex who had that effect on the younger man.

 

Did what he was told about Daniel’s family’s – if one could call it that, in Rex’s opinion it lacked everything a family should be – Christmas in the car surprise him? No! Was it unfortunate and sad? Yes! “That doesn’t sound like a Christmas celebration at all. And your mother sounds cold and uncaring.” Hutson commented. A mother who didn’t bake cookies, made no Christmas dinner, didn’t care to do anything special for her child, refused to eat what the child made because of calories …. was that a mother at all? One thing was for certain Rex’s mother wouldn’t think so and she’d most definitely think that Daniel’s mother was a failure as a woman and caregiver and that people like her shouldn’t have children at all.

 

And the former Major General couldn’t help but to ask himself whether that woman had even wanted children or if she had only gotten them for the tax benefits as well or whether Daniel had been an accident. If the latter she could at least be given credit for not killing her kids before they had even been born, that was certainly despicable and disgusting in Rex’s opinion and he thought it should be illegal if the mother’s life wasn’t in mortal danger.

 

Peering to the side, looking at the other he made a decision, well, perhaps he had made the decision before already but he didn’t quite know how to express it. “We…. I can show you a real Christmas time this year.” he offered. “If you want to that is.” the man added and focussed on the street again.

 

 

 

A snorting laugh escaped him when Danny asked him whether he was sure if he could catch him if he refused to join him in the lake and it accentuated just how sure he was of that. “There’s no escape for you.” he jested with a smirk on his lips waiting for the other man to come in. It was amusing to unfitting just how coy the brunette acted around him, almost flustered and too embarrassed to look at the blond man’s body and shy to reveal his own body to him. This was especially odd considering that this man had sold his body for years in which he had had sex with men for money and had been running around in the brothel with barely anything on the whole time. But now he was acting like a young maiden.

 

The amusement got swept away though when the other man actually undressed and he could see the silver moonlight on the pale skin that highlighted the traces of muscle on the slender, wiry body. Unlike Daniel he didn’t avert his eyes but looked at him. It wasn’t a piercing stare but rather him gracing the other man’s physique with his blue eyes and he realised that he really was attractive, that his body had a sense of masculine elegance. He had never thought about the other in those terms but it was rather spot on.

 

He did look fairly smooth though, especially compared to himself, but Hutson was actually glad that a dark happy trail was leading the path down to the other’s cock since he liked that and found it hot and had feared that the brunette was completely shaven and hairless like a woman after they had talked in the motel. His eyes lingered on his boyfriend’s dick for a moment and he could feel a tingling in his groin when he watched the other man move and joining him in the lake.

 

Seeing how the other was apparently freezing, hugging himself as he stepped into the water was bringing back the amusement and made him chuckle rather warmly and he was taken a little off guard when Daniel suddenly placed his hands on his shoulders and pulled himself up to him. He could feel the man’s wet skin sliding up against his, his penis bushing his own and he automatically held his breath for a moment when he saw just how erotic the other looked as his body emerged from the water.

 

“Is that so?” he asked with a lopsided grin when Daniel announced that they finally were the same height now. “So you don’t like being a dwarf.” the blond teased, knowing that the other wasn’t necessarily that short but somewhere near American average height but that he merely was short compared to Rex because Rex was tall.

 

Their faces were incredibly close and their eyes so directly looking into each other that it seemed although the blue and green were merging together. His heart was beating savagely and he hoped Daniel wouldn’t feel it or hear it but in the next moment the other was sliding down on him again and the brunette was standing at his usual height once more.

 

The former soldier failed to focus and really comprehend what the other man was saying to him, something about horror movies, ghost possession and that he was handsome, what he did note was the tone of voice, the movement of his delicate lips as he spoke and that there were only a few miserly inches between his body and Daniel’s body, his skin and Daniel’s skin, his cock and Daniel’s cock and the desire within him was getting more and more prominent, taking over his mind.

 

When he felt Daniel’s hands cupping his whacked face to kiss him, Rex was grabbing the other man by the arse, lifting him up to his height again as their lips met and Rex greedily and lustfully returned the kiss, his tongue invading the other’s mouth like an army of way superior numbers wanting his boyfriend to surrender himself to him. His hands were strongly grabbing and kneading the other’s toned arse that was firm and soft at the same time, spreading the cheeks open under water, pressing the slim body against his own as they were kissing.

 

Once the kiss broke the blond was carefully letting his boyfriend sink back down into the water and he was letting his hand trail down the brunette man’s side from under his arm to his hip slowly as he felt Daniel’s fingers brushing through the soaked strands of his hair before he felt them wandering down his neck and towards his shoulders and he enjoyed the touch that only grew the desire to feel the other more, to touch him more and deeper and to be touched more by the other within him and his mind was constantly travelling downwards. He wanted to rub his dick against Danny’s, he wanted him to spread that arse for him and he wanted to fuck him, he wanted to hear his moans cutting through the peaceful silence of the night, he wanted to make this body his.

 

At the point where the other was caressing his collarbones Rex was already fighting against the urge to grab him, carry him to the shore, throwing him down and doing him right there and all that was on his mind was his boyfriend’s tempting cock and his luscious arse he wanted to burry himself into. He could almost hear their skin clash and his balls hitting the other’s round arse on his mind and he was getting hot. So much so that he felt as though his body must be heated enough to get the bloody lake to boil and turn it into a hot spring.

 

Daniel was saying something about a Pirate movie and suggesting a drinking game but he really wasn’t so sure for how much longer he could control himself and somehow this was setting off the alarm again and he was suddenly without a word or warning diving into the water, swimming under water for a moment, wishing for his mind to clear.

 

This had been a bad idea now hadn’t it? Daniel was hot, he most certainly wanted him and fuck, was he pent up! That certainly didn’t help! Then again why would it have been a bad idea because of this? What was wrong with desiring to sleep with Daniel? Why was he running from this, cutting it off again all the time he got aroused anyway?

 

At this point there was no doubt that he wanted Daniel, that he was hungry for him and that Daniel wanted him, they even were a couple and this would be happening sooner or later anyway, they would sleep with each other. So what was his problem? What was he running from? Why was his own lust and desire making him nervous?

 

Yes, those one night stand eons ago had gone terribly wrong but he had not given a shit about them anyway and it was different this time. Maybe that was it? He had not cared about those one night stands at all and those two failed attempts at mindless fucking had been the only times he had had sex after Sebastian. This was the first time he had romantic feelings for someone other than his dead boyfriend and if he’d sleep with Daniel it’d become even more real and it might make him feel guilty in turn.

 

That and he actually liked Daniel and cared about him and he didn’t want this to be a disaster. He hadn’t given a fuck with those guys he had picked up in that club, he hadn’t given a shit what they had thought about him but he didn’t want Daniel to think he was a terrible lover and Rex hadn’t had sex for years and before that he had had sex with only one person ever since his teenager years. One person whose body he had known better than Sebastian had known it himself and who had known Rex’s body better than the former soldier himself. Daniel’s body he didn’t know and the other didn’t know his. Not to mention that Daniel was probably extremely good at this considering that he had had sex as a profession for years with all kinds of men. Everything he could do would probably bore him. And what was if Daniel needed some extreme stuff to get off at this point?

 

Now he regretted that he had asked himself why he was avoiding to go further… knowing made it worse… And it didn’t help either. He just had to let all that stuff go and just face his desires. Now was as good as ever, they would have sex eventually anyway, they were two middle aged men after all and Rex really wanted the brunette.

 

Thus he made a decision and surfaced again, right behind the other. “Is ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ the one with the ring and the little creep saying ‘My precious’ all the time?” he said as his arms slung around the other man’s hips like water snakes, demonstrating all the knowledge about pop-culture he had. “If that’s what you want to watch we will. I promised you I’ll watch something with you after all.” he assured him as he pulled the man close and against himself.

 

His hands were starting to roam over Daniel’s body, tracing the muscles under water before one landed on his chest and the other went downwards to his thigh. Rex pressed his lips onto the other man’s neck, kissing and sucking on the skin, going upward, starting to kiss and nibble on the other’s jaw.

 

He could feel the other man’s arse-cheeks pressing against his cock and he felt how he was starting to grow hard against it, his hand travelling from his thigh up to the other man’s groin, lightly letting it brush over the other’s flaccid penis, teasingly, before his hand was closing around the shaft, feeling the soft skin, slightly stroking and caressing it. “How about we go back to the car and relax and warm up there a little before we get dressed again and continue our drive.” he suggested whispering into Daniel’s ear, licking and then slightly biting down on the earlobe.

 

Since Daniel had already been cold when he had undressed when he had still been dry and since he had shivered when he had stepped into the water he figured that it probably was a better idea to turn down the backseats of his Jeep and lay down with the other there for a while and see where it’d lead them and what would happen between them.

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Daniel couldn’t prevent a low laughter escaping his throat when Rex told him that his mother was cold and uncaring. “Yeah, she is.” It was about the fiftieth time that someone had told him this or something similar. It didn’t matter what adjective or adverb someone used, it all resulted in the same thing, in his mother being a bad person, which she was, no doubt, but it had never kept him from loving her as a mother. There had been happy times and horrid times, but Daniel wasn’t the type of person who shared his problems. And Monique had had her own family disasters. They had never talked about it either, they had simply spent their time doing something fun and harmless together in order to think about it. But had Daniel ever been so unhappy as to develop depression? No. Only with the pressure of his popstar-career and with Monique leaving for college did his addiction to alcohol and cannabis evolve. Admitted, the drug hadn’t had the worst effect on him, wine and vodka had.

 

However, the brunette couldn’t hide his surprise either. Rex was offering him a Christmas celebration. He hadn’t expected that at all, he hadn’t even expected the blonde to celebrate it. He didn’t see Roger as a candidate for it either. David, maybe. But all in all, none of them seemed like the type to dress up a tree and bake cookies together. “Eh…” At first, Daniel didn’t even find the right words to answer. At the second thought he realized that there wasn’t a ‘right’ answer. “Sure, I’d love it if you did. But let’s make sure that no army of little dogs are involved.” He added jokingly.

 

-

 

After Daniel had gotten into the water and he taken a moment to get used to its chilliness, he slowly breathed out. He got used to it pretty quickly as he talked to Rex, or let’s say he overtexted him. Surely, he loved conversations and uncalm equally. He couldn’t do long in silence, he needed at least music to be in the background, even if it was only on a low volume. However, on the other hand, he didn’t sleep well if exposed to background noise, unlike Rex. Movie nights would actually keep him awake while Monique and her friends would oftentimes sleep through the third and fourth movies. It didn’t bother him too much, because sometimes the incapability of sleeping in a noisy place was a blessing as he had never fallen asleep in class and never missed a bus or train station. The downside of it was obviously the fact that he needed a quiet room to sleep in and those were sometimes hard to make. There couldn’t be a clock with ticking noises or a vibrating phone, all of those would wake him at some point.

 

“Ha,” Daniel returned the grin. “I am not a dwarf, you are just a giant.” He told the other, his voice filled with confidence. He knew he wasn’t short, just a little below the average height and it wasn’t a problem. Most girls were smaller than him and if some guys outdid him in height, what was there to do? Really, oftentimes it didn’t matter what a guy looked like, it was the quality that mattered. Even a one-night-stand needed it. No matter how hot a guy was, if he lacked the quality needed in romance or in bed, it was no use. Daniel found that it was the same the other way around, which was why he found that people who avoided having sex before marriage were dumb. Honestly, what if things that mattered most went horribly wrong? Sex and romance weren’t things to be taken for granted. Dating a complete and utter asshole was a different story. That was high-school material. Adult material consisted of a person who was able to please another one in more than just one aspect of life. There as no love at first sight, there was no instantly great sex without preparation and surely there was no fate to meet or destiny to find. Of course, Daniel hadn’t lowered his standards just because he needed it, but he had spent a night with someone shorter than him once, someone who hadn’t looked like a dominant person at all – and Daniel didn’t have a problem with taking the lead – but in the end it had been one of the best one-night-stands he had had back in the day.

 

As Daniel pecked the other’s lips he told himself that he should have known that was to come. This wasn’t the first time that Rex had suddenly deepened a kiss. Apparently, Rex really wasn’t a softie at all, which Daniel didn’t mind, it was just amusing to him how well the blonde’s habits fit his appearance.

He closed his eyes and a small chocked hum escaped his throat as he was once more lifted up to meet the former general height level. He looped his arms around Rex’s neck as a halt and returned the kiss. At this point the coldness of the water had left his mind. He lost himself in the kiss for a moment, burying his fingers in Rex’s wet hair. Did he surrender? It depended on the definition as Daniel really wasn’t someone who gave up easily. The thought of defeat, failure and mistakes bothered him. That personality trait had softened after he had fucked up his career, but it was still there and even if he gave Rex everything and let him do everything, there was still a bite on the blonde’s lip to follow at the end.

 

It was a completely different sensation to feel Rex’s bare hands on his bare buttocks. It allowed him to feel the strength and the greed the other felt and it was a complete turn-on. In that moment he sought that tense feeling everywhere, wishing that the other would touch him from his thighs up to the chest with the exact same amount of force. Throughout the years of working in a brothel he had learnt to differentiate the feeling of lust inside him and the feeling of being touched on the outside. Stroking and soft patting didn’t work as well as they used to before. Really feeling someone’s hands, fingers, someone’s body was another story, another level of intimacy. A level he couldn’t have possibly had with those men who had come to the brothel. It had been easy to just lay there and let them do whatever they wanted because there had been no connection whatsoever. Rex, on the other hand, was one hundred percent his type.

After they had broken the kiss and Rex put Daniel back down to stand on his own feet, the brunette had a hard time fighting that desire that had inflamed inside him, but he was used to go to sleep unsatisfied by now. Could he really just demand that Rex would go on? Yes. Was it appropriate? Probably not. This wasn’t a sex-date. This was a man he liked and adored, loved and admired. So he left him be.

 

Daniel had barely finished his sentence when suddenly Rex dove underwater. The brunette blinked twice, surprised, visibly confused, and narrowed his eyebrows in puzzlement right afterwards. He lowered his gaze, trying to follow the other man’s body. As it was night-time and the moon was poorly reflecting little sunlight that could break through the water surface, it was hard to see. “Hey, are you okay?” Daniel asked even though he was aware that the sound waves of his voice couldn’t reach someone who was underwater fully and his words would just become muffled sounds. Had he said something wrong? Maybe Rex really didn’t like pirates?

 

The brunette gazed over his shoulder as the blonde emerged from the water behind him. He was about to turn around, but Rex’s arms were quick to snake around his body. At this point it felt like being hugged by a big teddy-bear. “Ah, no, it’s not, but close,” Daniel joked. He couldn’t help it as he hadn’t heard anything that mixed up before. “That’s Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter. Pirates of the Caribbean is more like… pirates, robbery and rum.” He didn’t know if he should try to seriously explain anything, after all it wasn’t a problem if Rex didn’t know. All that Daniel hoped for was to spend time with the blonde and it made him happy to hear that his boyfriend was going to watch it anyway because he had promised to do so.

 

Daniel leaned back against the other’s chest, his scapulae meeting the firm muscles of the blonde as he did. Almost automatically he tilted his head to give the other more space as he felt him kissing his neck. He eyes closed and his lips opened at the same time; Daniel inhaled softly, albeit his breath was hitching. He could feel his heart starting to pound, especially when Rex nibbled on his jaw. Daniel rose a hand to grip the back of Rex’s head, applying pressure that wasn’t too rough nor too little to signal the other that he indeed wanted a bit force to go into the nibbling. He didn’t need a full-on bite, but – and although kisses were a nice start – feeling more than a ghostly touch was necessary to satisfy him. The same he did with Rex’s hand that was lingering on his chest; he put his free hand on top of it and pressed it down against his own skin. Admitted, he didn’t take it for granted and he knew exactly that Rex couldn’t know just read his mind, so he fought with himself not to overdo it. It was specifically hard not to lose his temper right now and just accept this treatment as it went. Unfortunately, a huge piece of self-control went down the drain when he felt a, Rex’s penis hardening against himself and b, Rex’s other hand around his own shaft, and not only as a touch but also in gentle motion shortly after.

 

Daniel opened his eyes with a soft exhale when Rex whispered into his ear. He need a moment to comprehend those words as he could already feel his blood rushing to the lower part of his body pretty quickly. But before he could even respond to the suggestion, he had to gulp down a moan when the blonde tenderly bit his earlobe.

 

He turned his head and slightly his shoulders to face the blonde with an almost completely blank expression on his face. “You’re kidding me, right?” And he said it so strongly in disbelief that he wasn’t sure if Rex would think he wouldn’t take a joke or a hint anymore. Fortunately, that wasn’t the case, as Daniel’s lips curled into a smile the moment right after. This time he completely turned to be in front of the blonde and stared into his azure eyes with a shimmer of lust resting in his emerald orbs. Once more he laid an arm around the taller man’s neck, tiptoeing on the soft ground of the lake to get nearer to his boyfriend’s lips, whispering against them, “I don’t like cars.” He didn’t care in that moment if Rex understood or not. Daniel brought his other hand up to trace Rex’s bottom lip with his thumb and then dragged his fingers down his chest, his muscular belly, the lower abdominal area and over the shaft of his penis, intentionally leaving the glans out only to go back up and draw a circle with his fingertip around the other’s bellybutton underwater. “I am afraid you are not going anywhere now before you haven’t answered my question.”

 

He was aware that water had the opposite effect of a lubricant and he certainly didn’t want to do it without a condom after working in a brothel, but that wasn’t the point. The point was that he wanted to hear what Rex sounded like when he was lost in ecstasy, how his face would lose that strict expression, how his eyebrows would knit and how his muscles would grow tense. And even if it was night-time and even if they were on a trip to a serious business, Daniel could still drag the blonde to the shore onto the fresh grass and suck him off. After a long time it was finally not only about him anymore, he wanted Rex to feel as blissful as possible.

 

“So,” the brunette continued, “what is it that you want? Go back, dry up and get back to driving or …” Daniel leaned back, his hand retreated from Rex’s belly and instead gripped the blonde’s hand, bringing it up to his own lips. “Or me doing this to you?” He licked over the foreign middle finger, from the knuckle all the way up to the fingertip.

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Fuck, Daniel was damn hot with his head leaned back against Rex’s torso and with his closed eyes, the gaping lips, his beautiful chest slightly rising and falling as he inhaled and exhaled again. How had he not seen how erotic this man was from the start? It seemed absurd right in this moment. And it got even better once he felt the other’s hand on the back of his head and on the hand that was lingering on his chest giving him permission to touch him more firmly and with more demand and force, that he needn’t restrain himself that much.

 

He had a strong, slightly rough touch naturally but he knew that not everyone was into that but apparently Daniel would like this. It would be a learning process for both of them to understand what the other was into and how they liked it. With Sebastian for instance it had varied a lot with mood. Sometimes Rex’s force had been exactly what he had needed and wanted and on other days he had not been up for that at all and had wanted Rex to be gentle with him, well, as gentle as he could. And with time the blond had been capable of telling those moods by merely looking at the other man, knowing what needs and wants he had in what moment but it had taken them quite some time. Daniel and him probably would have to communicate a lot before reaching this point if they would.

 

 

Thus the blond man took the liberty to strengthen his grip now, to feel the other man’s body more, to hold it stronger and tighter, to press him closer against himself. He let his fingers flick against the other’s rosy nipples before his callused thumb was rubbing over them with a good amount of pressure, while his mouth had gotten way more claiming and domineering, his lips, tongue and teeth being involved at this point, Hutson couldn’t help himself as to rub his growing erection between those arse cheeks, adding fuel to the fire within him. He could feel the man’s cock responding to his other hand, feeling the soft flaccid dick getting hard in his grip.

 

That bubble of horniness and craving for the other was busted though after the reaction towards his suggestion was the brunette turning to look at him blankly, asking him if he was kidding him now in complete disbelief as though the former soldier had suggested something absurd, something outrageous and strange and it confused Hutson completely throwing him into a loop. He didn’t know what to make out of this reaction. Didn’t Daniel want to have sex with him? But why? He was definitely very turned on as well! It made no sense and that most of his blood was down in his hard rod that was pulsing between Danny’s arse-cheeks now and not in his brain didn’t help him to figure that confusing reaction out. So he just retreated, letting go of the other man’s penis and body, his blue eyes just looking at the other.

 

And to confuse him even more the brunette suddenly grinned and he could see an animalistic lustful shine in his green eyes and in the next moment he was approached and could feel the other’s hot breath against his thin lips, informing him that he didn’t like cars. It was random! Very random! And Rex could have argued that cars were awesome but he got a feeling that it wasn’t the point. Had Daniel not gotten what he had meant when he had invited him back into the car? That by drying up and relaxing he meant sex? Or was the man trying to tell him that he didn’t like to have sex in cars? If so why not? His Jeep was certainly big and comfy enough.

 

There wasn’t much time to dwell on this though because Daniel was not bringing back space between them and he could feel the man’s breath against his face still and have his lips temptingly in his reach, when he suddenly felt his boyfriend’s thumb on his bottom lip, leading Rex to give it a lick and a bite, engaging with the man’s finger that then proceeded to trail down his body over his chest, his stomach, his abdomen all the way down to the heated hardness that was his cock. And when the hand unexpectedly got to his crotch it made his muscles, including the abdominal muscles twitch and constrict instinctively for a second before they relaxed again and he felt the finger teasing his shaft leaving out the most sensitive part but it didn’t even matter because the mere touch of another man’s hand on his dick was electrifying his entire body and causing him to take in a sharp breath. Shit, it just had been way too long since someone else had given his penis some attention and affection. And Daniel’s hand definitely felt much different than his own callused and rough one and it made him realised just how touch starved he really was.

 

Rex wanted more stimulation, he felt like he’d go nuts if they wouldn’t go on now but then the touching stopped and he was confused once again when the man told him he wanted him to answer a question instead and the blond felt a little frustrated because he really didn’t want to answer any questions now.

 

When he however heard the question he understood that Danny apparently actually did think he was intending to go back to the car to dry up and continue driving just like that. Well, he couldn’t blame him now could he? He had been starting to make out with him quite some times and then retreated and left it at that after all but this time he actually had meant to do something different.

 

The blond man just wanted to tell his lover this when the shorter man was taking his hand, bringing it up to his mouth and he could soon feel the other’s wet, warm, slippery tongue slide over his middle finger, demonstratively licking it and Hutson definitely caught the drift, his brain imagining the other down on his knees in front him, his green eyes peering up at him while his tongue was sliding over his cock, slipping under his foreskin, sucking him off. Maybe he was even capable of deep-throating him? And while he was thinking this he could feel his erection twitch in anticipation.

 

Rex took a deep breath, looking the other into his green eyes. “Listen, I actually wanted to go back to the car to be intimate with you. I didn’t intend to sit there until we’d be dry and continue the drive.” he informed him. “I thought since you get cold easily … and we could make it quite comfortable there… and there is that bloody box…” he explained having a hard time focussing due to the tongue that was sliding around his finger, making the other man look quite lewd and pretty hot. “But if you’d rather do this…” he nodded towards his cock: “…here… now… I won’t complain.” Hell, he certainly wouldn’t.

 

The car however had the heater, it had blankets and there was that box Roger had left there that had weird lube that was supposed to smell and taste like vanilla and strawberries if one believed the packages and all kind of weird ass condoms, as well as those sex toys for heterosexual, or he at least assumed those were merely interesting for heterosexual people. Rex had almost forgotten about the box and had never intended to use any of this stuff but it had now gotten back onto his mind.

 

The box was in his car since after Roger had gotten another letter from his wife’s lawyer demanding him to finally sign the divorce papers so that his wife could marry her boyfriend, the letter had inspired Roger to do something but it had not been signing the god the damn paper. No, he had brought one of his weird internet friends – a crazy fundamentalist Christian guy who believed in Creationism and that the people had once coexisted with the dinosaurs on the planet and that the dinosaurs had only been wiped out because they had pissed god off – hack his wife’s accounts and request that her entire mail would be send to a anonymous post office box.

 

And every once in a while Roger and his internet friend had met and had taken all of Roger’s wife’s packages and letters out and read them and opened them and kept her stuff – what was only fair because she had stolen Roger’s house according to Roger – until his wife had finally figured out what had happened and could reverse it back to normal - and once, when they had done that the Christian guy’s car had broken and Rex had had to pick them up somewhere outside the city near the post office box from where he was then driving that crazy Creationist home into the neighbouring state before he was driving back with Roger who ignored Rex’s accusations about all of that being not only wrong but a massive waste of time too, and instead was emphasising that his wife had apparently gained weight because she was buying compression clothing and that he hoped that she would look like a fat sea cow soon. And the highlight of Roger’s month being that his wife had needed medication against vaginal yeast infection, and that they were struggling to pay off the mortgage for the house because that bloody hippy didn’t have a real job and first and foremost what a disgusting slut his wife had become and how apparently the hippy couldn’t satisfy her because she needed those toys in the box. Taking out every single toy, to ridicule it.

 

But when Roger had gotten home he had left the box behind on the passenger seat and told Rex that he didn’t need it and he could keep the stuff ignoring that Hutson had said he didn’t need it either and thus he had shoved the box somewhere, totally forgetting that it was in the car.

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Daniel had to see that Rex really hadn’t understood what he meant. But that he other man kept in mind that he got cold easily was of course a heart-warming gesture. “Thank you,” he said, “but I just don’t like to have sex in cars. That’s it.” It didn’t have anything to do with the Jeep or with the fact that he had misunderstood, it was simply his own disliking. Not only was it a natural mislike but it also had to do with memories that he wanted to keep in the dark. It hadn’t been something too traumatizing or something that had hurt him mentally, thus he didn’t feel the urge to tell Rex about it. A No was a No after all and both of them were adults and they understood and respected that, compared to the youth.

 

“A box?” Daniel narrowed his eyebrows lightly. He kneaded the palm of Rex’s hand with his thumb as he tried to find a connection that led from intimacy to a box. His boyfriend wasn’t the type to have condoms and lube with him everywhere, right? He couldn’t see Rex just carrying such things around. Plus, the way he acted when he was touched was slightly alarming to Daniel, as if Rex hadn’t had someone to be intimate with for, well, too long. It was reasonable because he had loved and missed Sebastian so much, but hadn’t he had a few one-night-stands maybe? No matter if he had or hadn’t, it felt odd to think of Rex as someone who had such things on him. Daniel hadn’t anticipated at all that they would have anything in reach, but as mentioned before, it wasn’t a disappointment to him. Rex never took a break and Daniel would love to force him to do so, one way or another. It didn’t automatically connect to a benefit, an advantage or money in his head; finally he saw the person in front of him and that person only. No ulterior motives, just commitment.

 

Even if he felt lust burning inside him, he wanted to shove it aside for now. Of course, the thought of Rex’s penis inside him was, in this moment, pretty close to making him lose his cool, but he clung to that bit of self-control that he still had, a habit he had trained a lot during his work at the brothel. Sure, being pampered was always nice, just lying down and getting touched, feeling the bliss rise, entrusting his body to someone, after all there were several people who were talented with their fingers and their body rhythm. However – even though eh assumed that Rex was the dominant type – Daniel didn’t want to play a dead fish. He wanted to give in order to receive.

 

Daniel gave his boyfriend a reassuring smile that didn’t fit the desire that was glistening in his eyes at all when Rex said he wouldn’t complain. “Perfect. Come.” He said, his voice drenched in affection. He took both of the blonde’s hands into his own and dragged him out of the lake and onto the shore, where he quickly tiptoed again to catch Rex’s lips in a heated kiss. Now that he was out of the water, his body had to get used to the new temperature again and it cooled him down a little, though it also helped him think straighter. He leaned in, gently pressing their bodies together, taking Rex’s lower lip in between his teeth and giving it a loving bite. Afterwards, he forcibly broke the kiss, looking into the azure eyes of the ex-general, which were glistening beautifully in the moonlight. At least he thought so. “If you want me to do something specific, just let me know,” he told him.

 

Daniel brought his own fingers to his mouth and wetted them with saliva before he sunk his hand down to softly brush over Rex’s erection and spread the saliva on the shaft and the glans, playfully rubbing the insides of his fingers against it. In the meantime, he buried his other hand in the blonde, wet hair, slightly massaging the scalp with his fingertips, and started to place kisses on the neck, below the earlobe, below the jaw and down the sensitive spots underneath which the carotid lay. Daniel worked his way down to the chest, dragging his hand with him down to teasingly stroke his fingers down his boyfriend’s upper body. He skipped the abdomen though and carefully knelt in the grass, finally re-drawing his hands and instead closing his fingers around the penis in front of him.

 

At first, he licked from the bottom of the shaft all the way up to the glans twice. Afterwards he took the glans into his mouth, gently circling his tongue around it. He lowered his head a little and repeated that process for the frenulum and the glans’ neck before he took more of Rex’s length in, though intentionally not all of it at once. Breathing through his nose carefully, he started to lower and raise his head in an average speed. For a while kept it up, but it only took that little to go past his uvula easily. After so many years of, to say it nastily, dick sucking, it really wasn’t a challenge anymore. Before he had started with the one-night-stands he hadn’t even thought about that the possibility of training or reducing a gag reflex existed. He knew that some people were really sensitive and he couldn’t blame them, it was just the way their body was built and reacted. But to him it hadn’t been that much of a deal in his twenties and now it wasn’t anymore at all. And his jaw had gotten used to it after years of practise as well.

 

Daniel moved his hand from Rex’s shaft to the side on thigh, took a deep breath and then lowered his head completely. He remained for a second or two until he leaned up again and repeated this a few times, catching air systematically, and increased his speed.

The world around them blurred. Pearls of water had already dripped off Daniel’s skin and the soft breeze of the night was doing well drying his skin. Daniel didn’t care where they were, if someone could stumble upon this scene and how hard the ground underneath his knees was. This time he wanted Rex to give in, to fully surrender to him. And he wasn’t going to stop before that happened.

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  • 3 weeks later...

“Oh!” came from Rex rather drily when he learned that Daniel had gotten what he had planned to do but didn’t like to have sex in cars. Fair enough, he thought, although he asked himself why the brunette man didn’t like to do it in cars specifically. Were it the technicalities with the limited space, the atmosphere – even though one could argue that a car compared to the brothel the other had worked in was a romantic paradise – or had he made unpleasant experiences in that regard?

 

He was asking himself this because he himself had made some of his most intimate and great sexual memories in cars. With a storm in their back that they had just driven out of after taking pictures and experiencing it and the wilderness around them while they were embracing each other, bathing in pleasure, just the two of them and the car surrounded by the strong forces of nature. Not that Rex and Sebastian hadn’t done it directly in nature or at the weirdest, sometimes not unsafe, threatening environments, where they had suddenly felt the overwhelming need to be close and to touch each other!

 

Daniel was apparently asking himself something different though and that was about the box he had mentioned and the shorter man soon inquired on it. “Yeah, Roger’s toy box! Or rather the sex toy box of Roger’s wife that Roger had stolen out of her mail and then left in my car. Long story.” Hutson shrugged. “No worries, I was not planning on using those weird toys. Just the normal, necessary stuff. I’m not a pervert.” the conservative man felt the need to clarify.

 

Right after he had declared that he would certainly not complain if Daniel gave him a blowjob at the shore of the lake he was dragged out of the water by the other and he liked how eager the man seemed to get to sucking his dick already.

 

As soon as he stepped out of the water he felt a breeze that appeared colder than it actually was against his heated, thick throbbing rod that screamed to ravage that luscious arse of the other. Rex’s eyes were greedily taking in Danny’s backside as he was pulled behind him and peering at that bubble butt was setting his most primal needs and cravings free and made him want to get the man, jump him and take him relentlessly.

 

Once Daniel stopped and turned towards him Rex was meeting the emerald eyes with a gaze that was filled with his carnal desires that showed when he returned his lover’s heated kiss with wild lust. The forceful separation of their lips causing the urge to protest and pull the man over again but he never got to it and there was no need for it either because the next thing he saw was Daniel drenching his own fingers in saliva before he felt them on his rock hard manhood that twitched slightly in response to the touch.

 

Feeling those fingers brushing over his length down to his glans, up and down again, rubbing his fingers against it, the heat was starting to rise and a pleasant feeling to grow that made him long for more, actual stimulation but with the touches and the anticipation came a tension, bordering on nervousness that accompanied it and made him a little stiff and not fully able to let go and let himself be carried away by the other.

 

His boyfriend seemed to know what to do though and when Daniel started to massage his scalp and let kisses trail along his earlobe, jaw and neck the blond male finally relaxed and granted himself to enjoy the touches he was given, even laying his head slightly to the side to give Danny more space.

 

When the other man went onto his knees before him and got to business it gradually became crystal clear that he was sucking dick as though sperm was his life elixir, as though he’d do nothing else. There was no denying the level of professionalism and that this man had not only sucked the same man’s cock during his entire life like Hutson who only knew the taste of Sebastian’s penis. And when he had been young, a teenager, he had not even sucked his former boyfriend’s cock either and hadn’t even given it much attention to start with. It had not been that he had not wanted to, heck, he had found Sebastian’s cock gorgeous and alluring and had wanted to suck him badly, but he had refrained from it feeling like he really shouldn’t want to suck another man’s penis, that he shouldn’t be turned on by the idea. Clinging onto the thought that if he didn’t do that, if he only fucked the other’s arse, he would be less gay and thus reprehensible and more respectable of a man in his parent’s and neighbours worldview.

 

For this to change had taken a desperate Sebastian to say “I have a cock too you know.” in a deeply hurt and rejected tone of voice that one year when they had spend the summer break at Sebastian’s uncle’s place in Europe, followed by:“Would you rather want me to be a girl?” and Rex finding his boyfriend’s sketch book a few days after that where Sebastian had always drawn into what had been on his mind back in the day and thus he had found out what the other teen had fantasised about and that he had wished for Rex to suck his dick and eat his arse really badly as he had drawn the blond doing this for him for Hutson to finally give in and stop caring what other people would think about him if he was a male who enjoyed sucking dick, because if he could not do it for his own sake he had wanted Sebastian to be happy and feel loved and show him that he loved his body and certainly didn’t want him to be girl.

 

And he had never regretted that he was sucking cock after that and once he had sucked Sebastian off the first few times he had soon gotten really comfortable and confident doing that, liking it, losing the shame he had felt about this before. But he certainly would never suck some rando’s cock. Sucking those one night stand’s dicks had never even reached his mind; it would have been absurd to him.

 

Well, did Rex approve of Daniel’s former profession as a whore? Certainly not! Would it piss him off to think about all the scum that had fucked him before and to hear Roger ridicule him because his new boyfriend had been a prostitute? Absolutely! But, damn, he sucked well and all those thoughts or any thoughts at all, were far away in that moment, he was just enjoying the benefits of it in what was done to him with such a skilled mouth and tongue, such expertise.

 

Feeling that wet hot tongue sliding around his hardness, going around his glans in circles before he started to suck his tip, made sparks of pleasure shoot through him and more blood down into his pulsating dick and Rex, almost automatically, got his hands down onto Danny’s head, caressing and playing with the brown mane of hair. Having the other suck him that devotedly, his glans coated by the wet softness of his mouth, the tongue sliding around it, he wished that the other would take his length all the way down to the balls into his mouth.

 

And as though the other could feel the growing want of Huston to fuck his throat the former prostitute let the throbbing penis slide in, taking the entire thing into his mouth with ease as though it was nothing.

The tightness wrapping around the head of his cock when his dick penetrated Daniel’s throat was incredible and a strong feeling of blissful pleasure was rushing through Rex, his fingers grabbing into the other man’s hair more firmly.

 

As Danny started to bob his head the former soldier couldn’t control himself any longer and he automatically started to rock his hips in sync with the rhythm, his boyfriend’s tight throat chocking his cock making him feel so good that the pleasure was consuming him. There was nothing left on his mind than his dick continuously forcing itself into the other man’s throat, the increasing movements of his hips and the electrifying feeling of ecstasy that it caused and that Rex wanted to feel more intensely, that he wanted to bath in, to drown in.

 

A deep, roaring growl of pleasure was coming out of the tall man’s chest as he thrusted back into Danny’s mouth, the grip into the man’s brown hair getting stronger and stronger the better the blond felt and he instinctively pressed Daniel’s head towards himself , he couldn’t help it. “Fuck!” he moaned. “Shit!” a deeply pleased cursed came over his lips as he let himself go, laying his neck slightly into his back.

 

He knew that he couldn’t keep that up for long anymore, he knew that he was close, getting nearer and nearer towards the edge as his muscles were tightening up and his breath a hot, laboured panting mess, his heart racing as though he was running a marathon. Rex felt like he was about to explode, he yearned for his release at this point and after a few more thrusts his muscles constricted, the veins on his body visibly popping out and he lost his rhythm bucking up into the other’s mouth. “Fuck! Yeah!” he growled, his face torn in pleasure that was making his mind go fully blank, completely ruled by the amazing feeling of his climax. His dick twitching as he erupted, shooting the first load of cum down his throat before he shot the second one right thereafter.

 

Letting his cock plop out of the other male’s mouth he stood there, panting, his heart rate high, his hairy chest rising and sinking, the wind feeling chilli against his saliva coated dick, his blue eyes looking down towards Daniel. Not even waiting until his breath and heart rate had settled down he grabbed the other man, pulled him up towards himself, held him and entangled him into a fiery kiss, his hands trailing over the shorter body, one closing around the shaft of Danny’s dick, stroking him while their tongues danced.

 

Breaking the kiss he looked into the eyes of the man whose body he had in his grip with affection showing on his usually strict face before his voice under the heavy breathing sounded:“Bend down for me, arse towards me, will you. You can support yourself on those trees over there.”

 

Rex waited and when the other complied he followed him over to the trees and for the man to bend over and present him that hot arse of his. His blue eyes were closely examining the other man and when Danny was bending over his arse-cheeks were slightly spreading granting the former military man a glance onto his tempting, rosy anus and the fuzz of dark hair that was growing around it and the blond felt how the view started to turn him on again and how he wished to ravage that tight little hole.

 

His strong hand was coming down onto Daniel’s left arse-cheek, the sound breaking through the silence and after the slap onto the other’s butt he rubbed his hand over the red skin and then kneaded both arse-cheeks, spreading them open, getting a full view onto the hole and then Rex got down, kneeling into the grass that tickled his hairy legs.

 

Holding the arse-cheeks spread apart he leaned in, his face getting closer, his hot breath brushing over the other’s anus before he let his thumb just as much as brush over it faintly, taking it away again, spitting onto the rosy hole. The former soldier took two fingers and started to apply the saliva over Daniel’s anus, painting patterns, going in circles as though he was an artist and Daniel’s arse the screen he drew on. The man gradually increased the pressure onto the brunette’s arsehole, before he spat on it another time, then onto his index and middle finger starting to poke and prod the hole, squeezing his butt-cheek with the other hand.

 

While he was slowly and one after the other entering the fingers his other hand was reaching for his boyfriend’s balls, massaging them at the same time before he was going over to giving attention to his penis, starting to give it some strokes, then rubbing the glans, shoving his thumb under the foreskin to let it go in circles, then going over to stroking him again, coating the other’s hard manhood in its pre-cum in the process.

 

Having entered the spit covered fingers he felt the tight constriction of the other man’s sphincter around them and he gave him time to adjust and relax his fingers before he started to move and press onto his lover’s prostate, starting to massage it whilst giving him a handjob, casually licking, kissing and sucking on the man’s balls occasionally.

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  • 1 month later...

Daniel’s eyebrows knitted on his pretty face slightly when he learned that the red box Rex had been talking about was a sex toy box. It was Roger’s, actually it was Roger’s ex-wife’s and on top of that Roger had stolen it. It sounded like something he could see Roger do, something unpredictable and stupid, something unnecessary and hurtful, something … disgusting maybe. Now the box itself didn’t disgust him though. The thought of the box having been Roger’s ex-wife’s possession was merely a little weird. Rex clarified that he was just going to use the lube in there and not the toys, which made Daniel laugh heartily. He didn’t have anything against toys, on the contrary, he embraced them. He had seen some messed up techniques and strategies in bed, one thing scarier than the other, though personally he wasn’t into hard fetishes. He saw pleasure in vanilla just as much as in bondage; it was just a question of manner, know-how, trust and combability. At some point he had stopped wondering where his limit was. He hadn’t come across any of those internet-fame fetishes like scat despite having worked as a prostitute for twelve years, and he naturally excluded those from the list. If anything, people just wanted to get laid. It was the act that was important to them. They didn’t care if your feet were cutely shaped or if your face was pretty or if you spoke a foreign language.

 

Nonetheless Daniel was aware that Rex was proudly conservative. He wouldn’t try to push him out of his comfort zone with force. “It depends on the toys, but if you don’t like them, that’s fine.” Compromises weren’t about fighting or winning a discussion, they were about respecting each other’s personal preferences and if Daniel rather didn’t have sex in a car and if Rex rather didn’t use any toys in bed, that was okay.

 

Daniel had dragged Rex out of the river and succeeded in making him relax and give in to him. As the brunette knelt in front of him and sucked him off, Rex’s groans were exactly what he had wanted to hear. It was a turn-on for him as well, hearing the one person he adored so much crumble in pleasure. Yes, pleasure was such an unfair weapon. It enflamed a fight that was drenched in passion of good nature. All he wanted was for the blonde to let go and eventually, when he could feel Rex’s fingers driving through his hair, he knew that he was pushing him further to the limit. Not that he was going to stop without a good reason. A zombie apocalypse would be a good reason.

 

Since there was no zombie apocalypse happening though, Daniel went on to ‘practice’ his deepthroat skills on his boyfriend. Rex started to move his hips in the same rhythm, and he did it oddly well. Their movements synced in harmony, as a poet would say. The curses that suddenly left the blonde’s throat cut the silence significantly and even though Daniel couldn’t, he would usually smile because it was amusing to him. Pleasuring men had always been amusing to him. Even though he had played the submissive part most of the time in his life, he still sought dominance naturally. There was something alluring to making another man lose control, something that made his heart pound in satisfaction.

 

Rex’s penis was stiff and hard in Daniel’s mouth and despite his own thoughts going abroad for the time being, the brief imagination of feeling it inside him was making this way hotter. It sent thrills down his spine that he couldn’t control. Rex was attractive and Daniel admired him to the core, and shit, he was turned on as much as he could get without additional touch in that moment.

 

The blonde applied pressure on Daniel’s head and Daniel gave in, following the unspoken instructions, keeping the air supply short. He could feel his own heart beating against his chest, groaning in a muffling voice. Then Rex finally reached the climax. Daniel automatically swallowed against the hardness in his throat, the insides smoothly rubbing against Rex’s penis.

 

Daniel pulled his head back and wiped over his lips with the back of his hand, taking in the fresh oxygen right after. The taste of his boyfriend’s fluids that had been dragged up to his tongue was bitter which led him to the suggestion that Rex really didn’t cook himself. He had tasted worse though, really, it wasn’t the end of the world.

There was no time to think it over anyway. Rex pulled him back up onto his feet and tied him into a heated kiss. Daniel laid a hand onto the back of the blonde’s neck as support, slightly overwhelmed by the sudden act of affection. Of course, he should already be used to this, but right now he hadn’t expected it at all. It was a nice change to have someone to kiss like this, so unheedingly, so unconditionally, so passionately. Someone he could give his everything to. Rex reached down, stroking his erection and Daniel breathed out of his nose in bliss. Really, right now he had nothing against a handjob, not that he usually did to be honest.

 

The kiss was soon broken and Daniel turned his head to the side to take a few deep breaths. He did look back into the azure ocean that was his lover’s eyes when Rex spoke to him, his hand back off the brunette’s penis. There was a look of surprise at how harsh Rex’s words sounded. It wasn’t like Daniel understood them as an order but it was just one of those moments once again that threw him off. He kept forgetting that Rex hadn’t lost the attitude of a commander. He knew that the blonde most likely meant to say it with the same affection that Daniel could see in his eyes but it just didn’t come through. Daniel reached up to the blonde’s face and slightly brushed over his left eyebrow with his thumb and then down the temple. He smiled. “You look good like this. Relaxed, and still talking to me like a boss.” He leaned up more, bumping Rex’s nose tip with his own, showing him very well that he wasn’t afraid of Rex in any way no matter how tough and how scary he may look to other people.

 

“I’ll do everything. You are taking me with you in your car after all and it’s a long, long ride,” Daniel joked with a smirk on his face, his hot breath hitting against Rex’s lips. He leaned back, taking his hands off the blonde. Now he noticed that he had been on tiptoes for the entire time and stepped back down onto his heels, standing at his usual height in front of the former general again.

 

Daniel walked over to a bigger tree and set his hands against its trunk, bending down. He kept his back instinctively straight with only a slight crook in it and he had no problem with standing like that. He flinched at the sudden slap against his butt cheek, the dull pain coming after the sound. Rex’s rough hands started to knead both cheeks. He felt the fingers in detail, clawing his fingertips into the crusty trunk of the tree. His muscles relaxed visibly and he felt a vibrating sensation spreading from behind up to his upper body, feeling his nipples hardening as it did. In that moment he wished that Rex’s hands would go up, brushing over his body and back down, squeezing slightly, making the resistance of his grip perceptible. He liked it to feel someone else’s body against his, it enflamed a dynamic that couldn’t be found in friendship.

 

The former musician exhaled silently. He told himself to stop thinking about all those things and focus on Rex’s doing. Even though Daniel wasn’t sure what the plan of the blonde was, he didn’t want to ask. He wanted to see what would happen.

His boyfriend wetted his anus with spit and artificially played with the area. Daniel knew it would take some time for his body to adjust to the situation, but he really didn’t want to wait, it was hard to just keep standing and doing nothing in this moment. His toes slightly twitched against the cold ground.

Daniel closed his eyes and tried to control the lust he felt. He deeply breathed out and his muscles relaxed a little against Rex’s fingertips. When the first finger went in, Daniel slightly scratched against the trunk’s crust. The lust he felt in the front burned like fire in his erection and he felt the desperate need to reach down himself but his boyfriend was quicker, changing his position and massaging Daniel’s balls. A soft moan escaped the brunette’s throat. He tensed up again at the stimulation on his testis and phallus but relaxed again with a blissful sigh.

 

As soon as his sphincter muscle had become used to the filling that was Rex’s fingers, they slid in farther with the help of the saliva, the tips pressing against his prostate. Daniel exhaled in a moan sharply. His body tensed briefly again before it relaxed once more. Usually he did the preparations himself so it had been a long time since anyone had paid this much attention to him.

 

Rex’s other hand closed around his penis and started stroking up and down while his fingers massaged against his prostate. Feeling the pleasure from both sides, the brunette’s breathing sped up to a light panting. “God damn it,” he said, “you are good at this.” He had had different experiences too, bad experiences, but Rex was meeting almost every single wish Daniel could have. Except the one that he wanted the other in himself instead of the fingers, but he understood that Rex probably didn’t have the same stamina and it would take him a bit to get hard enough again.

 

As Rex went on, Daniel became more impatient. He sought a rougher treatment and it was hard to keep that desire down. He pressed his butt against Rex’s hand almost instinctively. The pre-cum did a good job at making the handjob even smoother. He had already forgotten how cold the ground, the tree and the night around him actually were. His body was heated up with desire and lust. “Rex…” he mumbled, opening his eyes. “Can you go harder on me? Or get that weird box, stretch me more and just fuck me instead?” He would take either. Rex was skilled with his hands and fingers and Daniel wasn’t impatient at all usually but when it came to sex he certainly lost his patience way quicker.

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  • 2 months later...

He found himself tempted. The noises and movements of his lover’s body, the other’s muscle clinging onto and trying to choke his fingers as well as the almost desperate, greedy way Danny pressed his arse against Rex’s hand. It was hot. It was turning him on again. So how was he going to resist and turn the other man down when he on top of that told him that he needed it harder and that what he really wanted was the blond to fuck him? Fucking Daniel! That was exactly what Hutson wanted himself!

 

There was just that one thing though, if he went over to where their clothes were to get the keys to his car, then go over to his car, grab the box and return to Daniel the moment would be pretty much ruined. It was a bit of a hassle really. However he didn’t want to leave the other man unsatisfied and he wanted to give him what he wanted, what he probably had wanted for a while now.

 

Hence he made a decision and in the next moment he didn’t only stand but he was also carrying Daniel as though he was his bride, they weren’t naked but wearing elegant clothing and this was their wedding night and not a road trip. Walking rather quickly and impatiently he went over to throw their clothing over his shoulders before he continued carrying the other over to the last tree that was the closest to the car where he left the other male for a moment.

 

Rex walked over to the car, opened the door, threw their clothes onto the backseat before he searched for the box. He took the entire thing and opened it on his way back to the brunette. The former Major General gesticulated the other to grant him better access to his arse again before he spread the cheeks once more, this time, taking the bottle of vanilla lube drowning both the man’s anus and his fingers in it. The two fingers returned to generously apply the lubricant inside but were soon joined by a third slippery finger to stretch the man’s hole further.

 

Then all three fingers abandoned the other at once, for Rex to then position himself close behind the other male. Hutson was pressing his torso against Danny’s back and his hands were starting to roam over the other male’s body freely. One of his hands was stroking from his thigh upwards, then his pulsating hard cock, after that running through the brown bush that were the man’s pubes, up the happy trail to his navel while the other hand was caressing and touching his chest, brushing over, going in circles around, rubbing and toying his nipples. He started to kiss and bite his neck, his jaw, his lips while he was rubbing and thrusting his hot semi-erect penis between the other’s round arse-cheeks to get fully hard.

 

He didn’t only intensify the movement and the rubbing of his thick cock over the brunette’s anus though, as his own pleasure and arousal grew due to the friction, his hands became rougher and more demanding. One of it was jerking the other’s cock while the other hand was rubbing, pulling and twisting the man’s nipples to then caress them and gently brush over them and then be rough to them again.

 

When Rex’s arousal and temperature had risen to a certain level and his cock was standing like a rod of solid steel, he slightly bit Daniel’s earlobe before licking over it. “Bent over for me a bit.” he breathed into his ear in a hot way filled with desire for the other.

 

He had to let go of him for a moment even though he didn’t want to. He would have liked to get even closer, to be inside of him right in that instant without further ado. Rex did what he had to though and let go of the man, reaching down for the box to grab one of the condoms. He could have asked whether the other man wanted one that had knobs on it or whatever or one that smelled and tasted a certain way but he decided to just go for a normal one as he was too impatient. He had already been too impatient to ask him if he wanted vanilla or strawberry lube and Hutson himself couldn’t care less.

 

Thus the blond put on the condom that fortunately fitted him well and then grabbed the lube and once more drowned Danny’s arse again – he found being stingy with the lube was usually a huge mistake – and then grabbed the former singer by his hips, pulled his arse towards himself and shoved his cock inside that – thanks to the preparations – went in smoothly.

 

He buried his cock deep into Daniel and the hot, tight embrace of the man’s rectum was causing a pleasant feeling and he was taming the wish to ravage him down and at least gave the other a moment to adjust. Once he felt Danny’s muscle relax around him he started to move and made some experimental thrusts to sync his rhythm with the brunette man’s and to find the perfect angle, listening to the responses the other’s body was giving him.

 

It only took the blink of an eye though and after the experimental brushes and pokes onto the man’s prostate he was letting go of the restrains and quickly but gradually increaed the pace and force of his thrusts until he was taking the other man without mercy, taking his everything, taking him completely, his cock hitting onto the man’s prostate like a hammer, giving him the roughness and hardness that he had craved and asked for while he was always touching and stimulating the other male’s body in one way or the other, making sure that their bodies were connected.

 

Sometimes he stroked the other’s dick while he was ravaging his arse or he slapped his arse, kneaded it or let one of his hands trail up the man’s back. He sometimes even teased his nipples or grabbed the man by his thick brown hair, slightly pulling him back to sloppily and wildly kiss him while he was doing him like a maniac. Rex might even have had something martial in some moments but in others his touches were almost tender but no matter what everything he did was filled with passion, care, embrace and desire.

 

The more pleasure Danny felt, the tighter and harder the man’s muscle grabbed onto his cock, the more pleasure he felt as well. Rex was breathing heavily and from time to time growling moans were escaping him, some were almost like a deep roar amongst the occasional pleasured curse. His body radiated heat as though the sun had just risen again and his heart was beating heavily, like a drum. The sparks of pleasure had turned into a wild stream that had overtaken his body and his mind where it had wiped every last thought that had nothing to do with Daniel, their fucking and the amazing feeling that was electrifying his body, while the sound of clashing skin, of his balls slapping against the other’s arse was joining the moans creating a song.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Rex was tempted, Daniel could almost feel it. It was that one moment of hesitation in which the blonde seemed to think about it, if he wanted to go back to the car just for sex, and the answer was yes, because honestly, the answer was always yes when sex was the question. Daniel was about to straighten his back, but Rex suddenly – instead of talking – decided it was better to act, which the former musician would totally agree with, yet he didn’t expect to be lifted up so casually. He reflexively wrapped an arm around Rex’s neck as support. He couldn’t even remember the last time he was picked up, maybe as a child by his mother, but otherwise this was a first. And Rex did it so effortless too, what the hell. It struck Daniel with impression, even though he should have known that his lover was physically very strong and that, judging by his height and muscular body, it shouldn’t surprise him. It was still the momentum of his feet leaving the ground and a gasp leaving his mouth that he was once more in awe for Rex.

 

The blonde grabbed their clothes and quickly walked the way back that they had come. By the tree nearest to the car he let Daniel back down. The former singer watched him going to the car and returning with a box that was indeed red. It looked like a normal box, really, then again, what had he expected? He himself had never gotten to own toys in some secret hideout in his rooms compared to his friends at the time. He had merely had lube and condoms in one of the drawers inside his wardrobe.

After he had turned around, securely gripping one of the lower, thicker branches of the tree, he could feel the coldness of lube on his butt, dripping down, and not shortly after, Rex’s fingers entering him again. A low sigh passed his lips and he felt a bit of satisfaction decreasing the aching flame below for a little, yet at the same time the action made it grow. Rex added a third finger and once he thought that the preparation was done, Daniel could feel his boyfriend pressing against him from behind while his penis was sliding in between his butt cheeks, rubbing against this anus. Daniel kept his right hand on the tree’s branch but brought his left one up and behind him, driving his fingers through Rex’s semi-wet hair. The warm, foreign hands slid all over him, seemingly everywhere and nowhere at once, from his thigs up to his chest, and this was some sort of affection that he had already forgotten existed. It surely spiced up the moment. The fresh scent of the grass and the night air around them added a nice touch as well. Daniel’s uneven breath sometimes resulted in a moan and when Rex bit his earlobe, his grip on the other’s hair tightened for a moment as a response.

 

“Bend over for me a bit,” Rex’s husky voice whispered into his ear. Daniel didn’t even have to nod or say anything, honestly. His mind was occupied with the idea of finally having sex with Rex after such a long time of failed attempts and misunderstandings. The man that he adored so much was right behind him and his penis was now a second time as hard as a rock for him, which he took as the greatest compliment he could only imagine.

Daniel bent down against the tree, making sure he was standing steadily on his feet. Once Rex’s erection slid inside of him, comfortably painless, he gripped the branch he was holding onto and closed his eyes out of reflex. His breath hitched silently as he felt his boyfriend filling him. He could feel his muscles slightly tighten again due to the new size, but he was given a moment to adjust and it helped. Rex tried out a few angles in a few thrusts and Daniel felt subtle waves of pleasure spreading inside him. “Fuck…” he cursed softly under his breath, though it didn’t take one more second until Rex increased his speed radically and the heat between them doubled. And in those moments one thing became clear: Daniel was not the silent type. What had been subtle groan before during the fingering and petting were becoming loud moans of pleasure. There was no resistance whatsoever, he gave his everything to Rex in the following moments. His head was cleared of anything other than the sex and he liked it that way after their ruined date, to be honest.

 

Though something else that Daniel was stamina, a great deal of stamina it seemed. Rex did everything and Daniel was enjoying every bit, but he was not growing tired so quickly. He embraced the scene as if it was something divine. When Rex leaned forward and let his hands trail down and up his body and turned his head to kiss him, Daniel reached back to place his left hand on the back of Rex’s neck, his fingertips affectionately yet firmly massaging the spots underneath. He lovingly bit his lover’s lower lip and licked over it afterwards. His fingers on the branch clawed into the cold, crusty wood. He panted and whimpered in pleasure, enjoying the feeling that Rex granted him with every touch and every movement. The pressuring feeling inside him grew and grew, like a knot that was tightening further until the strings threatened to rip. As he felt how he came closer to the edge, he instinctively took his left hand from Rex and reached down to his own throbbing erected penis, stroking over it a few times, which was enough to make him reach his climax. His muscles tightened firmly and his body shivered briefly. Accompanied by some loud moans, sperm hit the tree trunk. His voice died down and left him panting, though he managed to keep himself up on his feet. Bliss overcame him and he felt satisfaction of a different kind than he had in the past years.

 

After Rex had also reached his orgasm and pulled out of him, Daniel straightened his back and took a deep breath. He turned around and wrapped his arms around Rex’s neck, pulling him down until the tips of their noses touched. “That was so good,” he said with a still uneven breath. “You’re amazing.” He tilted his head and connected their lips for a slow and long-lasting, simple kiss. His hand brushed down Rex’s arm and took the foreign hand, bringing it up to Daniel’s lips, and he placed a kiss onto his the back of his lover’s hand affectionately. It had only been a day that they had been a couple, and it had been months of rejection on Rex’s side as they had known each other, but Daniel was convinced that – even if something was going to happen that would tear them apart, even if that was the last thing he would want – Rex was one of the best things that had happened to him. Upon the many losses in his life, which, no doubt, he had been responsible for himself, he had learned to embrace whatever thing, person or event that could make him feel at peace. He was aware that nothing lasted forever, but he was determined to do everything to make Rex happy as well.

 

In the distance, there was suddenly a roar that resounded. Loud thunder that made Daniel look up towards the sky from afar. Rows of grey clouds had gathered up there and he remembered that it had rained at the gas station already. Had the storm caught up to them after all? “Maybe we should leave soon,” Daniel suggested. “Oh, whereto did you throw my jacket? There’s tissues in the inner chest pocket.” As he looked over his shoulder towards the car, the box also caught his eye. Curiously, he picked it up and opened it to finally see what was inside. “Oh, wow.” Daniel rose his eyebrows, impressed. “Someone really had a lot of things planned, huh.” The variety of lubes and condoms was, to say the least, a bit unusual. Daniel lifted his gaze to meet Rex’s eyes again. “You said you don’t like toys. How come? Have you tried any before?”

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  • 4 weeks later...

Daniel was like an inferno. There was no restrain, no shyness, no muffled down voice, the brunette male let go completely and gave Rex his everything in return. Fucking him was like being caught up in the heat of a passionate explosion. And when Daniel came and the tight constriction of the muscle threw Hutson over the edge as well, after all that time of not having slept with anyone, cumming inside of the other man felt like all the fireworks from around the globe on New Year’s Eve were going off in his body and his brain at once.

 

The blond was breathing heavily into his boyfriend’s ear, pressing a kiss onto his seventh cervical vertebra before he pulled out his cock, causing some sperm to leak out of the somewhat gaping anus of the other male. His mind was still mush from the fireworks in his head and he didn’t have the time for any coherent thoughts, when Danny already turned around towards him, wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled the blond man down towards himself making their noses touch.

 

What he was told then threw him into a bit of a leap and made him ask himself whether the other was flattering him, overplaying this or whether it as actually how he felt about this, about him. Given that Rex had thought that he might be rusty as hell and wouldn’t be enough and too conservative for a former sex worker that reaction seemed almost too good to be true. The former soldier and security guard however decided to believe that Daniel had loved this as much as he said – there wasn’t a reason to lie, he could have just said nothing at all, Rex wasn’t a client, he wasn’t paying, there was no reason to act, no benefit to it – and it put those concerns he had had prior at rest and made him give the other a slight smile, that immediately got covered by his lover’s lips.

 

Rex embraced the other, wrapping his arms around him, holding him tightly, throwing a great deal of emotion into that slow kiss as he wasn’t the type to say many words about the sex he had had after he had slept with someone. When the kiss broke and Daniel took his hand and placed a kiss onto it there was a slight expression of surprise on his face and thereafter the smile returned and grew. The blond man gently kissed the other’s neck and nudged his jaw with his nose, before whispering into his ear: “I like you Daniel. A lot.”

 

It was undoubtedly true. Certainly odd! Maybe still baffling and the most unfitting match one could imagine – one of those dating apps would have probably, instead of matching them, marked each other’s profile with a biohazard symbol or simply the sign for death – but true. That former hooker was the first man he had gotten romantic feelings and this sort of affection for and the first with whom he could share intimacy after Sebastian had died and he felt good about it, warm, at ease, an ease that he had missed, an ease and satisfaction he could only feel when a guy meant something to him. If there was no bond, no connection it didn’t work and ought to be a disaster. It would have then made him angry and aggressive about himself and lash out as it had happened with the two attempted one night stands.

 

But this was different. Much different. It had been a great moment, he had loved to share this with the other and he had found it valuable and meaningful.

 

Hearing the roar of thunder near them he looked at the horizon, up into the sky and the slight smile on his face grew wide and his blue eyes started to shine. The storm had caught up on them. Could it get any better? If there was anything close to perfection it was this! However he was probably the only one who’d think that. “Why?” he thus asked when the brunette man suggested that they should get going before he realised that kissing naked in a storm probably hadn’t had the same appeal to Daniel than it had to him.

 

Being asked about the other’s jacket and the tissues inside of the chest pocket Rex stepped towards the Jeep and got their clothing from the backseats, laying them down onto the ground for them to pick up before he got two rolls of paper towels out of the car throwing one towards Daniel to catch, using the other one to clean his dick from any remains of cum.

 

While he was picking up his clothes, started to get dressed again his lover was curiously examining the huge box full of sex toys and condoms and the like that had never reached its destination at Roger’s wife’s place. “I suppose they wanted free shipping and to avoid ordering another time.” Hutson guessed and shrugged as he couldn’t really see a scenario where that hippy and Roger’s wife needed that much stuff in a short amount of time. Maybe they did though because they had nothing else than sex in their lives and relationship, who knew.

 

“I drive this damn box around since what feels like an eternity now. I have thought about dropping it off at Roger’s wife’s place but Roger would probably feel like I betrayed him and I don’t actually want to get involved in that mess more than I already am, what was being the driver.” the man explained. “Roger drives me nuts sometimes. There are moments in which I don’t know why I am still friends with him myself.” Rex told brunette.

 

But he knew. Distancing from Roger would leave him with only the tinfoil-hat nutcases he surrounded himself with and would make it worse, Rex and David were his only strings to reality and the only ones who at least tried to talk some kind of sense into him with sometimes more and sometimes less success. “We had to drive hours to get to the post office box Roger diverted her mail to. He and this crazy creationist bloke had come up with this brilliant plan. I mean I had to listen to plenty creationist gibberish throughout my life. Even from my parents but that was a whole other level. The dude thought the Earth was flat and that humans had coexisted with dinosaurs and the dinosaurs had displeased god so he killed them. It’s always an adventure meeting Roger’s online friends in real life.” Hutson shook his head.

 

“He once brought a guest who was very keen on demonstrating that human bodies didn’t fit into ovens. So he tried to get himself into Roger’s baking oven, what obviously didn’t go that smoothly. He wasn’t stopping though, didn’t let anyone speak and when I finally got through to him and told him that crematories were built for bodies, that even most funeral parlours offered this and that while they were technically ovens they were not a kitchen oven he looked at me grimly, wanted to angrily storm out of the oven and yell at me and then realised he was stuck. We had to get him to the hospital because he had disjointed his hip, his shoulder and his ankle.”

 

Once Rex was fully dressed in the suit he had been wearing before again he stepped over to the box to get it back into the car when the other man asked him a surprising question that he had not reckoned with. Hutson’s blue eyes looked into the green ones. “Well, I said I wasn’t a pervert.” he corrected and then added. “No, I never tried any of this stuff.” the man answered and clicked his tongue.

 

“I never liked them.” he started, finding that his dislike for sex toys he had never tried difficult to explain especially because he had not tried them and thus couldn’t criticise them in that regards. “I find that they stand for exactly that brainless, self-satisfying hedonistic and decadent philosophy and mindset of today’s society that I don’t like. Serving only the strive for purposeless maximised individual pleasure as the goal and ‘value’ – or what one calls one - in life. In addition to that it also stands for a higher, faster, wider mentality, where everything is optimised, standardised and trimmed for efficiency through technology and everyone tries to get as much and many things as possible with the least effort and shortest amount of time just like dating apps and other such phlegm. To achieve the maximum profit for minimum investment! That is a mindset for business but not interpersonal relationships, much less sex.” Rex tried to explain it to the other.

 

“They are one of the many symptoms of decay!” he added. “That stuff, those toys, they, to me, defeat the entire purpose and strip away the meaning, the sacredness of sex!” Hutson said. “The way I see it, sex is an act of intimacy, something that shall always mean something, that is shared with someone you care about, that is an expression of and strengthens a bond, the relationship between two people. If sex however is seen as a mere mechanical act to get off, to serve the only purpose of the own pleasure without any meaning, where it is ‘just sex’ as people often say nowadays, it becomes worthless to me. And sex toys fit exactly into that narrative of sex that is so common today and that I despise so much.” the conservative man ended his explanation and randomly took a toy out of the box holding it up into the air, looking at the bright pink thing painted on a box, looking at it with disgust and disdain in his gaze, before he let it drop back.

 

Since the other man had asked him that and having answered he felt like he could ask a question as well. “So… You and cars!” the man started. “What is it about you not liking to have sex in a car?” the blond was curious.

 

Back on the road, the country music playing in the background, driving through the nature of Virginia, there was something else coming to the veterans mind, something more serious and not so fun to talk about, something that some people would have misunderstood but they were both middle aged men and Rex found that they should be able to talk about things like these without feeling offended. “We should get tested.” he broke the silence. “Both of us. Together. I am sure that we could relax a lot more if we knew our status.” the blond man suggested. He had been alive during the AIDS epidemic. Not only that, he had also lived in a community where it had been painted as a disease that only gay men got, that if someone was gay he would inevitably die of AIDS because god had send AIDS to punish homosexuals for their sins.

 

While it had terrified him as a young lad he was old and intelligent enough to know that all of this was a bunch of bollocks but the fatality of the epidemic and the potential threat of dying from an STD – even though medication and treatment was much better today – was ingrained in him and thus this was something he was cautious about. Having been in a stable, loving monogamous relationship with Sebastian for decades had made the chance of getting infected close to zero since they had been each other’s firsts and both faithful to each other but after that he had had sex – or what one called it – with those two random blokes what he had regretted so much and felt so bad about that he had kind of denied it had ever happened. But truth was that, due to that, he couldn’t tell the other with a 100% certainty that he was clean.

 

Then again the chance was still a lot lower than Danny’s. Sex workers were at a high risk after all, especially prostitutes in a bordello such as the one Daniel had worked in. Hence this would probably be a bigger deal to the other than it was to him. “I won’t reject you if you’re tested positive.” he then added as the landscapes were passing them by and the rain was hammering against the windscreen with massive force as he wanted the other to know this.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Rex was smiling and it was the best reaction that Daniel could ever imagine. He liked the blonde’s smile, it softened his usually so strict facial features and it gave his expression a spark of joy. It gave his appearance a spark of happiness, of being alive. Otherwise he was like a machine, a robot, a cyborg if you will. Working, working out, eating, sleeping, drinking too much alcohol. But when he smiled, it was like something lit up, a switch was turned, and he was a different person. At first he had reacted really surprised, maybe he had not been complimented like this before after sex, or maybe it had been a little to much. But it was fine, because the eliminated those possibilities at once.

 

“I like you, Daniel. A lot.”

 

Those words, yet so simple, caused what felt like a tornado inside Daniel. His heart, eve if it was not possible, felt like it skipped a beat only to pound in the next second. His body was still warm from the act but it managed to get even warmer in this moment. The little hairs on his arms straightened in a goose bump, barely noticeable in the fine light of the moon. He had always been the romantic type and words meant a lot to him, but now – in such a long time – someone who he had truly fallen in love with was saying it to no other than him. It seemed that for the first time he was the one who was taken aback for a second as he couldn’t find any words to respond in the first few seconds. Hell, he didn’t think any word would even be able to describe what he was feeling right now. “I do too,” he finally said. “I mean, like you, eh, yes.” Rex’s nose nudged his chin and he rose his head for a moment reflexively, the simple touch worsening the goose bumps all over his arms, making his heart beat even faster.

 

Rex was highly wondering why Daniel then suggested to go back into the car because of the thunder declaring the coming of the storm. In that moment he remembered his lover’s fascination for all kinds of storms and he understood, though also the blonde seemed to understand only a moment later that it might not be a good idea to stand here and let mother nature’s wrath surround them. “I am sure the storm is faster than the car, we will get caught by it eventually,” said Daniel. Aside from that they were on their way to Rex’s family, not on a camping trip. This thought pulled him back to the reality they had been in before, which made the situation a bit more serious. The aftermath of his orgasm was slowly fading and he came back to his senses. He took his clothes and the tissues that he got from Rex and cleaned himself of remaining sperm and lube as best as possible, before he put on his clothes again, his skin was fully dry. The chilliness of the night was getting back to him, so wearing his suit pants, the shirt and the jacket again made it more comfortable – plus, socks and shoes, who would have known he would appreciate those so much suddenly?

 

Daniel was offered an explanation for the red box. While Rex was dressing himself, he told the story of how people who came up with even more ridiculous theories than Roger, and not sparingly at all those were Roger’s friends. Daniel could tell where the veteran had gotten his ideas from now. It seemed that the farer Rex got into the story the more Daniel narrowed his eyebrows in wonderment. Or was it really wonderment? Maybe it was just confusion because he didn’t understand how such people worked. Anyhow, Roger had stolen the box and it had since been lying on the car. Daniel agreed in his head that it would be weird to bring the box back or even get involved farther into the story. It sounded like a curse that had been following the blonde ever since. To some people the story would have sounded funny, or even amusing, maybe just odd as well, but Daniel found it awkward. Maybe it was the same awkwardness he sometimes felt around Roger for some reason. It surely wasn’t connected to Roger’s appearance, it was his personality and behaviour that Daniel sometimes struggled to get along with. But he knew that there was no use into discussing this matter because Roger was Rex’s friend and already in the beginning Rex had told him that Roger was something like a brother to him. Daniel did understand this sort of connection despite never really feeling anything like that with his own brother, having not met him once in his life. Letter was all he had had from him, though even their letter-friendship had ended when his brother had become twenty-two and Daniel seventeen. Would he have done everything Monique maybe? Or for anyone of his exes? For his former colleagues at the brothel? The answer was that he didn’t know. He wasn’t sure. And his mother had taught him at a young age that if he wasn’t sure about something, it was most likely not to meant to be.

 

When it came to Rex he had been sure from the start. He had watched him for a few months and not long after the urge of getting his attention had followed. He wanted everything that Rex had and was, wanted to embrace him as a whole. So, yes, he understood that Rex might not do everything for Roger, but still he would do a lot, and that was enough for Daniel to try his best and get along with the veteran. He was still a follower, still a yeah-sayer, just like he had been all his life, and even though Rex was not a fan of this trait, he himself didn’t entirely mind it. Instead, despite not being aware of it, his boyfriend was slowly teaching him what it meant to really commit to something with another person. To be true, to create a connection, to be there in need, to love someone unconditionally.

 

Rex, dressed again, picked up the box and he was obviously surprised by Daniel’s next question about the adult toys. At first his boyfriend had a hard time explaining it, admitting that he had never tried them before, still basically saying that people who used them were perverts, which Daniel found a little bit amusing and it made the corners of his mouth twitch into a smile reflexively. He should have seen it coming, really, it fit into Rex’s conservative standpoint. To him, the toys had a negative impact on people and society and defeated the meaning and sense of normal intercourse with another person. Thinking about it that might be true, it was indeed a form of self-satisfaction and self-isolation. The ‘sacredness’ of sex, he said. Daniel hadn’t ever thought of it that highly, maybe because up to this point sex had only been a means to an end. Or just pure fun. Rarely something romantic and connecting. For a lot of people sex included romance, but to him sex was the opposite of romance. Romance, he found, entailed beautified and perfect things that did not result in any kind of disaster. Sex, on the other hand, was the truth. The non-sugar-coated truth of a person, and one of the best ways to connect with a partner.

 

“I see.” Daniel didn’t really know how to respond to Rex’s speech about his dislike towards sex toys. He was still smiling because he admired the way his boyfriend put every piece of emotion into the answer. It was genuine. “I understand your perspective now, thanks for sharing.” The brunette added, sliding his hands into the trousers of his trousers. Sex was one of the easiest topics to talk about, at least he found so, and he really wanted to get to know Rex better, as best as humanly possible.

 

Daniel was about to turn and circle the car when he stopped upon Rex asking him about his dislike about sex in cars. He pressed his lips together, unsure at first how he was going to explain it. “Okay, I will tell you. But we should get going.” And so the duo climbed back into the car, Daniel dropped into the comfortable passenger’s seat. He pulled the door close softly, buckled up and the car started with the familiar sound of the engine purring. The stones crunched underneath the tires as they slowly moved back onto the road, gaining speed, back into the darkness of the night, a cover of grey clouds above them, and the headlights cutting sharply into the nothingness in the distance.

 

“I used to have sex in cars a lot, actually,” Daniel said, comfortably crossing his legs. “But that was in the time where I was still an alcoholic and it always involved drinking a bottle of whiskey after sex with whoever I was with at the time. Not that I was sober during it anyway. Most people I slept didn’t have an alcohol tolerance as high as mine and not only once did something stupid happen. If I remember correctly, one guy got a head injury because he was dumb enough not to close the doors properly and when he leaned back he fell out of his truck and hit the concrete. I don’t even remember where we were, or how I got home that night. Or if I got home, I am not entirely sure. Anyway,” he continued, “it’s not the accidents that haunt me, it’s the urge to drink. I’ve overcome most of my drinking habits, but old habits like car sex, ridiculous late-night board games and especially singing or performing in front of people are getting harder to resist year by year. So, I am just avoiding them.” One could say he was just being a coward, trying not to face his addictions and mistakes by all means, and maybe that was true. He couldn’t exactly deny that. If it hadn’t been for Rex, he probably wouldn’t have quit his job at the brothel either. “It’s still true what I told you, that I love music and I like singing a lot, but the thought of performing makes me kinda sick.” Not only had he drunken too much alcohol back then but also had he done drugs, and he knew that if alcohol was the only one that was left then he would consume even more to compensate for the lack of drugs.

 

Rex brought up another topic that would have hit Daniel’s mind a lot later. It was only fair that his boyfriend was thinking about it, after all he had been a sex worker for the past twelve years. He had performed as much precaution as possible and he didn’t recall feeling anything different, yet again he knew how dangerous it was. And maybe they should have thought about it before sleeping with each other. Rex added that he wouldn’t reject Daniel if he were to test positive for any STD, and that made the brunette smile. Such a disease was a big thing. It wasn’t like he had a private insurance or anything. Still, he hadn’t thought that Rex was the type to just toss him aside because of it. “You are right, we should get tested for sure.” It was an adult topic and they were both grown men, there was no room for any bitching around or beating around the bush. He doubted Rex had caught anything at all, though what if Daniel himself had indeed caught something and it just hadn’t broken out and he was a vector? That thought gave him the creeps. The chance of this happening was almost zero, but it occupied his thoughts for a moment anyway.

 

The rain dropping down onto the windshield gave the moment a tense touch, even though Daniel felt it was more of a comfortable silence for thinking than an awkward moment. “I know you wouldn’t reject me, I trust you,” he told his boyfriend, turning his head to look at him briefly before looking back ahead into the rain, watching the waves being washed away by the wipers. “Yeah, STDs are something that we shouldn’t go easy on. I do admit I haven’t felt unusual in the past years. Or maybe I just didn’t notice. I didn’t accept punters without a condom. I may have been a mere one-night-stand to them, but I certainly wasn’t a toy they could toss around as they pleased. I’ve heard different stories from the others, though.” He still remembered the horror of seeing on one of his colleague’s who had tested positive for syphilis. Not deadly, but still a very uncomfortable disease. How that man had stood before him, his arms slung around himself, the eyelids white. Hair had already fallen out on some spots of his head, he was sweating because of a fever, and infectious rashes had covered his palms and, as far as he had been told, in the genital area as well. The rashes had soon turned into brown-ish, dark knot-like spots that had sometimes emitted wetness. There was no money for medication and none of the other prostitutes nor clients had even wanted to go near that man. Eventually, he had left over night and Daniel had never seen him again.

 

That had been many years ago but also one of the memories that were burnt into his brain and that had pushed him even deeper into this bottomless urge to care about his appearance. Even though he had been at his lowest, he had still set priorities. It was true that he had thrown everything away, that he had been at his lowest, that he hadn’t cared about the future, had given up on himself, but he had never been careless of his body. He was, to say the least, still obsessed with his body and his appearance, just like his mother had always been. Even during the time in which he had been addicted to alcohol and light drugs he had made an effort to look presentable. This obsession was strictly a part of him, almost like a disease of its own. ‘Attractive, slim and irresistible,’ that was one of his mother’s mottos that was still clinging to him to this day.

 

“We should do more road trips in the future,” Daniel said, offering Rex a smile. “I like this, being with you alone like this in nowhere. Just the two of us. Of course, we can still take turns driving.”

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A lopsided smirk was appearing on Rex’s face when Daniel reacted with ‘I see’ and ‘I understand your perspective’ and ‘thanks for sharing’ after he had given him the answer as to why he didn’t like sex toys. “You do but you disapprove? You see that differently don’t you?” the blond man commented. It felt like this was another of these moments where the brunette held back his opinion and view for the sake of diplomacy and really generic diplomatic phrases one was always on the safe side with. The former soldier had noted that the other often did that, more often than not actually. One of the rare times where Danny had thrown diplomacy overboard had been when Peter and Hutson had fought about the ICE and Peter had tried to recruit Daniel for his cause. And even than his outburst had been more about not wanting to get dragged into any arguments or confrontations and to not make a stand or pick a side than the topic at hand!

 

Daniel’s diplomacy served to avoid any kind of confrontation about anything. It wasn’t a bad trait per se, a nation needed diplomats and soldiers after all, and if everyone was as confrontational as Rex was, it would be difficult too, but when diplomacy and compromises bordered on or outright became self-abandonment it was fatal.

 

Once they were back on the road driving towards the morning dawn the brunette male told him about why he didn’t like to have sex in cars starting by saying that he had had sex in cars a lot back in the day proceeding by telling him how it came to make him sick just as some other things. It turned out to not have anything to do with the act itself but the unfortunate circumstances and accidents, alcohol and addiction. And to avoid such situations to not fall back into old habits and to not trigger the addiction actually made sense, well at first and to a degree.

 

“Avoiding those situations and activities was a good idea to break the circle. But after you’re clean and stable long enough you should be able to partake in normal activities without falling back into bad habits. Even if the urge is there the first few times, it will go away after you managed to go through with those things without drinking or doing drugs and by doing so disconnecting the activity from the addiction on your mind.” Hutson spoke. “I am not saying you should do any of this by yourself and without someone you can count on and who will back you up and help you not to give in to the urge should it arise at first.” the blond clarified. “I could invite David and Roger and we could play some board games. Or you could perform and sing at Harrison’s and I’ll make sure you won’t do something idiotic.” Rex suggested.

 

Having said that, staring forward onto the empty road, the blond was asking himself why Daniel had ended up an alcoholic and a drug addict to start with. What had brought someone who had been living the dream of dozens of American citizens to do drugs? “How did it come that you started to do drugs and became a drunk by the way? Why did you need this? You were successful, your future was bright, promising and you were admired and loved by your female fan base? Despite how I see pop music and the music industry this is commonly considered a dream career many would have killed for. So what was it?” Hutson was interested to learn.

 

When he had changed the subject to STD testing Daniel reacted completely reasonable and he immediately agreed to get tested together. It was also quite reassuring to hear that the other had made sure to be cautious and to use protection during his years in the bordello and that he had not allowed anyone to take him without a condom. Not all of the whores in that “establishment” had done so. The place hadn’t had a policy in that regards. It had had a few rules concerning behaviour within the brothel and not acting violently towards the prostitutes – and enforcing those rules had been Rex’s job – but when it came to the services offered, protection and hygiene that was on the sex workers themselves to ensure. The old lady who ran the thing hadn’t cared to provide any of that for the “employees”.

 

Hence Rex’s joke about having HIV now when Chen had kissed him on the cheek to overplay being flattered what he had found awkward with! That stupid politically incorrect joke that he had gotten scolded for by Peter right that instant he had made it.

 

It was good to hear that Danny hadn’t recognised anything strange during the last years but unfortunately that didn’t mean they were on the safe side. “That’s good. But for all we know you could have gotten it from the last client you served. One person is enough. Thus, theoretically I could be sick too. It’s less likely but unfortunately possible. “ the former soldier stated. It hadn’t been anything he had been concerned about or had even thought about attempting those two one night stands that had gone terribly wrong. When pursuing those he had been so apathetic about everything there was, including his own life that had felt so empty and purposeless, that he hadn’t thought about any of the risks that had come with those back then.

 

After a while Daniel spoke about a more pleasant topic and that was their spontaneous road trip and that he liked to be on the road alone with him. “I’m glad to hear that as I enjoy road trips too.” the blond stated and paused for a moment. “But I’d rather our next road trip will have a more pleasant destination and reason.” the former soldier added not feeling thrilled about driving to his parents place, his family’s home, the home of the family he had been kicked out of, he wasn’t allowed to be a part of anymore. Going back home meant facing the past, facing his actions and facing his failure and facing what and whom he had lost.

 

“We won’t take turns driving though. Not in my car at least.” Hutson made that clear and mused, letting his thoughts run free.

 

“If you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go right now?” he then asked the brunette.

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The fact that Rex exposed Daniel with a smirk on his face proved that he had seen through him and the brunette could feel discomfort rising inside of him. He was a master of keeping himself out of confrontations and conversations. If it hadn’t been for Rex suddenly dragging him out of the brothel that night, he would have probably never confessed to him. Aside from that, Daniel didn’t feel the urge to teach everyone about his opinion, which made it even harder for others to understand what he was thinking. “I don’t really disapprove per se,” Daniel said. “I just, you know, it’s nothing major. I like sex toys, I think they add to the experience. I don’t think they take something away from it, rather they bring something new into the act itself.” He wasn’t sure if that made sense to the former general as he had never used any toys before, though if his boyfriend was interested in his opinion, he gladly shared it. “It always depends on what is used and how. I’ve tried ropes and chains before too and I can’t say I hated it. Toys are just there for stimulation, not to replace anything.” He had indeed warmed up to Rex in the past few weeks and it did him good to express his feelings and thoughts to someone without playing around. And Rex himself had learned to question things and ask first before reacting to something, which proved that despite their contrasts they had the ability to complement each other and learn from each other.

 

The dark orange colour of the early sunrise was lighting up far the line of the horizon. It was comfortably warm in the car by now again. Daniel listened carefully to what Rex had to say. He didn’t seem to judge him for the addictions, which wasn’t what he had expected yet he was glad that it wasn’t the case to begin with. He knew Rex could be soft to people as well, something important that he had learned about him. And of course the former bodyguard was right, Daniel had to try and break the connection between his erstwhile favourite activities and the electrifying urge to drink. The carelessness and the floating feeling of a drunkenness was something he had missed for a long time. And after he had finally been able to let go, he had stopped caring altogether. Rex was the only reason he was sitting here with a chance of a better future. That was also the reason why he indeed thought that his lover had the right to know how he had ended up as an alcoholic and drug addict to begin with. It was the most natural question to ask, yet it seemed that neither of them had thought about it before. Daniel hadn’t actually told anyone at the brothel about his addictions. He didn’t think it was relevant. But now he was being directly asked about it.

 

“Yeah, I’ve heard that a lot,” Daniel agreed when Rex stated that being famous – especially in the music industry – was one of the American dreams. “And I guess it’s true. I’ve met a few other popstars during my career, and some told me how happy they were with this job. The job of looking good at all times and performing perfectly without mistakes.” When Rex mentioned his fan base, he couldn’t help but chuckle softly. “They were really supportive, I can’t blame them for anything. I liked getting in touch with them on tours and taking photos and signing cards and CDs.” He sighed. “I have trouble remembering how it went downhill. I know it was my fault when it was over, but how it started? I think I was twenty-two when I fell down this rabbit hole of cheap drugs and expensive alcohol.”

 

Daniel paused, trying to figure out what was important and what wasn’t, aside from trying to sort the memories that he still had. Twelve years of hiding his former self from everyone and countless blackouts from drinking too much for two years had slightly deformed what he still knew. “My career actually started in a bar, just like Harrison’s, funnily enough. The bar owner was Monique’s step father and after she had found out that I had a talent for singing, she insisted I would cover a few songs for Saturday evening at the bar. I had still been into Rock back then and the bar was kinda rock-gothic style. Old and young people came to the bar to drink and eat, so the audience was broad. The feedback wasn’t bad at all, so I kept performing once a week or twice a month depending on if there were finals or mid-terms going on in school. Also I still had to work for my mother at her hotel, so I just swung by whenever I could, and one evening there was a business meeting there. A lot of important people from companies I had no idea existed. Anyway, I performed that night as well and apparently one of the business men’s acquaintances worked at an agency that was looking for young people to audition. I was asked and Monique made me go there, which resulted in a long-term contract that would start after high-school was over. Things went great, until I had to get used to doing things on my own. My mother was occupied with her hotel line that was expanding and Monique was going to a college in Michigan. I didn’t actually have other friends that her and I remember starting to hook up with random guys on parties to have someone by my side. It hadn’t been hard, when everyone knows you, you are invited to every party, even those far away. And if you just happened not to be invited, you could come too, it really wasn’t a big deal.”

 

His gaze dropped to his hands for a moment. He intertwined his fingers. The feeling of touching piano keys or guitar strings had long died. Even the guitar he had been hiding at the brothel hadn’t helped. “I think the idea of an American dream has always been overrated. Because everyone knew them, a lot of people try, and that makes a great competition out of everything that is popular. And the pop-culture was and still is one of the branches with the broadest audience. The Beatles, ABBA, The Rolling Stones, Beyonc?, Christina Aguilera, Bob Dylan, Ed Sheeran, Justin Timberlake – children, teenagers and adults listen to their songs, because pop is made to be so ordinary that it will appeal to most people. But being a singer is not just performing, it’s everything else as well. It’s just another job. You get up in the morning, you exercise, you prepare for interviews, you prepare for tours, you practice singing, dancing and choreographies, you have to stay fit, you have to be presentable, you have to be careful not to say or do anything stupid in public, and in the evening you have to go somewhere and present yourself. I didn’t have time for anything, especially because I was writing most of my songs myself. I had a lot of discussions with my producer. Pop is, despite its broad key frames, still limited. I couldn’t do cover songs, I couldn’t do a different genre, I couldn’t do dances I found interesting and I wasn’t allowed to speak my opinion in public about politics or economics or else my agency would have fired me.”

 

“After going to a lot of parties and galas, my alcohol tolerance rose,” he explained further. “I was getting used to wine and champagne and when I was out with whoever I had at the time I would grab stronger alcohol. Of course, waking up with sore muscles and being nauseous wouldn’t do anything as I had to get things done, so – as someone who I don’t remember suggested – I tried swallowing drugs instead and even it out with smaller doses of alcohol. That went well for a while, though I stopped accepting relationships and only went from one one-night-stand to the other. Then summer of 2007 came along and… I had one month of free time. And that was the downfall. After that month was over, I couldn’t go one single day without at least two glasses of whiskey anymore.” It was one of those stories one would expect to read in a cheesy magazine, but he had gone through it himself. This feeling of helplessness, of being stressed out, of being so close to a burn-out that it was hard to get up from bed every morning. Nothing had formed his personality more than those last years of his career before he had disappeared into thin air. For the most part of his life back at that time all he had done was following other people and saying yes to everything, and that had backlashed eventually. “All I wanted was to stop, actually,” he admitted with a sigh. “To get a normal job, maybe go to university instead, but I didn’t have the guts to tell my mother. I didn’t plan on hurting anyone’s feelings either, but I ended up doing it anyway. Alcohol took the worries off my shoulders for a few hours, and I guess if I had had just one person telling me to pack a few things and leave the state with them, I most likely would have done that without a second thought.”

Rex offered helping him to cut the connection of his urge to drink with board games and car sex and Daniel, despite being grateful for the offer, was still insecure. It was visible by the way he uncomfortably shifted in the passenger’s seat, struggling to find an answer that wasn’t a Yes nor a No. “It sounds really nice. It sounds like a good time we would have. I like David, it would be amazing to see him again, see how he’s doing.” About Harrison’s bar he was indecisive. Of course, he would love to perform, but really, he was already 36 and the last time he had composed something or sung a cover was twelve years ago. “We shouldn’t think about it too much, we don’t have a lot of free time to waste on music. After all, you are in the middle of building a company. We should focus on that for the time being.” There were a lot of other things that required his attention. Rex himself, the relationship, the STD testing, the apartment and getting a job. Once all this stress would be over and done thing his thoughts could return to music and to the guitar that was lonelily standing in the corner of his bedroom.

 

“I see,” Daniel said when Rex said that he couldn’t tell with one-hundred-percent certainty that he was clean of any diseases and that the brunette himself could have gotten something from a recent client. “Well, no use overthinking it now,” he added. “We should wait, see what happens, and get the testing done as soon as we can. I think that would be the most reasonable way to approach this topic.”

 

Rex told him that he also liked road trips, which was good because that was one of the few things they had in common. Of course, Daniel silently agreed that their next trip should have a destination that they both could look forward to. The thought of potentially meeting Rex’s family caused Daniel to get a little bit uneasy, even though he tried to play it cool. He was expecting it to be somewhat ugly, but he also didn’t want to throw every piece of hope overboard. “It was worth a try,” Daniel joked when Rex said that there was no taking turns in driving. However, Rex then asked him an unexpected question. Daniel tapped his chin in thought. A place that he would want to be right now if he could choose?

 

“Oh, I know,” he then suddenly said with a smile of joy on his lips. “The Setai hotel at Miami Beach. I was there for a week a few times and it was amazing! The pools were giant and the beach was so refreshing. Also, compared to Florida, there were no people trying to bring their illegal pets to the beach, so that was definitely a plus. The hotel is honestly the best I ever stayed at.” The answer sounded kind of shallow at first, but taking into account that Daniel had lived the life of a celebrity for a few years, it made sense on second thought. “They have a wine cellar, a really neat bar, an outdoor restaurant – a dream,” he told Rex. “The personnel was kind, considerate and always there for their customers. The beds were heaven, the suits were outstandingly beautiful, the food was really good and the view from the balcony on the ocean was breath-taking! That place did wonders. I really felt at peace when I was there. What about you?” he countered; his interest was quickly awoken as he didn’t know what kind of place Rex would enjoy. They had taken paths in life that were so different that he couldn’t even fathom what his boyfriend would choose or what was going through his head when he had thought of that question to begin with. Thus, it made it even more interesting to find out. Finding out more things about the blonde always brought him joy.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Turned out that Daniel was seeing the subject completely differently when he told Hutson that he liked sex toys. And for a second Rex asked himself whether the final sounding judgements he always stated about things and people were exactly inviting and encouraging for someone else to express an opposing opinion to him or if it was more likely to actually scare people off to do so and that only those without any fear of confrontation who were just as confident about their own views as he was would consider to argue against him.

 

In the end the brunette offered the former Major General another viewpoint, a perspective from which he had never looked at the stuff before. “That’s another way to see it I suppose.” he acknowledged although he couldn’t quite think of anything those toys could add. “Ropes and chains though?” the blond man raised an eyebrow. “I think that’s something I’ll never see the appeal in.” he stated. “To me that’s what you use against your enemies.” the security guard said not thinking that this stuff would ever lose that connotation to him. It was nothing that he would want to do to someone he cared about.

 

The harsh judgement was something the blond man turned off when he asked Daniel why his career had gone down the drain as it had, destroyed by a massive drug problem. Rex had condemned the other man for that enough before; he had insulted and degraded him a million times in the brothel once he had figured out who the brunette had been. That was probably another downside to being a celebrity: If you fall you fall publically and the world will watch and judge you and they will recognise and know you and a new start will be more difficult than for a person no one has ever heard of. Daniel’s story was known not only in the US but all across the Western world. If one would mention his name to the right generation in Ottawa, London, Paris, Amsterdam or Vienna, people would know about his music and junkie career.

 

And while Hutson had judged him a lot and had called him unfavourable things before he had never actually taken the time to ask Daniel how it had come to this and why he had ended up taking drugs and throwing everything away. But it was better to do that later than never and he found that now was a good time to speak about this.

 

He listened intently to his boyfriend’s explanation and his story and in the end he could break it down to the basic aspects. One of which was self-abnegation and neglect to fit the tight corset someone else was providing, to being a fellow traveller with a tendency of opportunism who did and said what he was told and what would get him further and would make everyone else happy and like him and not disappointed in him what ultimately had led to the feeling of constriction and not being able to breathe freely as well as a major emptiness. While the other aspect apparently was loneliness despite having had masses of fans worldwide and having been surrounded by people all the time.

 

It was that mentality to just accept everything as it was, to bend over and to agree to everything and to hold back with the own viewpoint, to not assert oneself and the own wants and desires that had broken Daniel’s neck and had led to an emotional state where he had turned to alcohol and drugs.

 

“You should listen to yourself, your own opinions, ideas and wants more and assert them more often.” Hutson said. “If you just follow along and never speak your mind, if you try to fit the corset someone else is trying to stuff you into, it doesn’t matter what you’ll do, you’ll always end up at the same point again in the end.” the man stated.

 

While Rex might have to work on being a very judging and maybe too dominant individual, Daniel had the opposite problem.

 

That grin came back onto the blond man’s face when Daniel was coming up with reasons as to why he couldn’t perform at Harrison’s anytime soon after the former soldier had offered to help him to get over his anxieties about the connection between his addiction and certain activities. “Don’t search for excuses.” he then said the smirk still prevalent on his face.

 

“Business or no business, I will hang out at Harrison’s anyway, I practically live there.” Rex told the other and it was true. He had been at Harrison’s bar almost every day the past years and starting off a business would certainly not change him being there from time to time even though it might not be as frequently anymore.

“It’s also not like you would play a gig there and would get hired there or whatever. There’s never been live music at Harrison’s, the old man couldn’t afford that and the location isn’t made for this either. No. You accompany me, we hang out and if the mood is right you pick up the guitar and play and sing a random country song everyone knows and trust me they won’t give a shit about missed notes or a rusty voice because they will sing along with you in their drunk heads and not even notice. If there’s some place with an audience where there is no pressure it’s Harrisons.” the blond described as he found that the other was thinking too much into it and stressing about it too much while it would be as casual as it could be.

 

“But we can just start with the broad games anyway.” he added chuckling a little amused.

 

When Daniel answered his question as to where he would go right now if he could go anywhere in the world he laughed when the other was talking about the illegal pets people in Florida where known to keep. The answer itself, a fancy hotel, was quite fitting for the brunette in Rex’s opinion. And while it matched the other perfectly, luxurious hotels had never done anything for him and he had never cared to go to one privately. Whenever he had stayed in one of those it had been work related and it fortunately hadn’t been often.

 

“Fitting.” he stated. “I can imagine you there quite well.” Hutson said. “That said it’s totally not for me.”

 

Being asked where he would go if he could pick one place in the world it only took a small moment of thought.

“I have spent my vacation together with Sebastian staying at his grandfather’s house on a Hallig one time. It was great, staying on that tiny island in the North Sea to be exposed to the forces of nature. I remember the storm and the storm surge that hit us after a few days we had been staying there, it was majestic, awesome. The untameable, uncontrollable power and strength of the flood and the waves, I wanted to run right into them but Sebastian stopped me and didn’t allow it. So while everyone on the Hallig was worried and concerned I stood at the window and watched the storm unfold and devour the entire island under the clashing, raging waves of the sea except for the terp the house was build on. You could hear and feel the power of the wind and the waves, even taste the salt and the storm in the air. It was amazing. Absolutely amazing how close the water had come to the house! And how fast the land of the island was flooded and where you had walked only hours prior was only the sea now. Even the aftermath of the storm was fascinating. How the people dealt with it and how the water was giving the land free again. Astonishing!” Rex was raving on in an almost romanticised tone thinking and speaking about the Hallig.

 

“I have never once seen another place quite like that again. It was very unique. I could imagine living like that. If it was our territory and the people would speak English that is.” the soldier said.

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