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  1. #1
    Yaoi Passionate BlxxdyButterfly's Avatar
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    Sep 2013
    On the edge of sanity
    BlxxdyButterfly Inventory
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    Blog full of my Life... (a bit depressing but at times nice)

    (This is basically updates on life and I debated on whether to make it for about a year but my family is falling apart and I just need to get this off my chest.)

    Here are some things you should know:
    • My father is always cheating on my mother.
    • My mother has a severe victim mentality & always forgives my father.
    • My Little sister is living in my parents house with her boyfriend (about a year and a half now)
    • My Big Sister is emotionally abusive at times(massive mood swings and entitlement issues).

    Let begin with Today.

    Today is the first day my father doesn't have a job. He was fired Friday for absolutely NO REASON. He is currently looking for a job. He disrespected my dog Zac, calling him a retard and threatening to take him to the dog pound... this was all because of a donut. My father covers up his affairs by creating trouble and I know this but Zac is basically my only friend I would take with me when I leave this house.

    My little sister and her boyfriend have been living rent-free in my parents home for a year and a half. My parents haven't asked for rent since last month because they are sometimes helpful around the house but don't help pay bills. A few minutes ago she told my family that they are moving out to a place they found. The main reason being that they don't think they should have to pay $60 a month to live in my parents house.

    While I was in town running errands with my Big Sister (because I don't have a drivers license) (I'm 20 but I absolutely hate traffic and am terrified of cars), she wanted to get something to eat but doesnt know how to get there so I pulled up a GPS on my phone. Because the GPS is very spotty where we live, we sometimes miss turns because of delays but she takes it out on me, calls me a cow and how I am so stupid that a dog would do a better job.

    And of everything going on, my mother somehow makes herself the victim of everything, saying she is sorry she has made our life hell and that she should just put a bullet through her skull. I am tied of feeling guilty and pity towards my parents. She catches him cheating and still says she loves him.

    Lately I have been massively depressed. I watched Project S: SOS episode 1 yesterday and all the feelings I thought I buried years ago have been unearthed and shaken because of these events.
    I am smart but have noone to talk to.
    I have an associated degree but no job.
    I hate my father but have to pretend I don't.
    I have to play the peacemaker and tranquilizer for my sisters.
    I'm stuck in a loop and I am afraid that my dreams are being reduced to ash.

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