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You can't choose family, nor love (hal7283 and Yukonwolfspirit, 18x, private)


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Looking around Ayme was rather surprised by the home he was in the male looking around at the beauty of the mansion. Feeling the fresh cold air on his face Ayme stepped outside the grass under his feet being the most freeing feeling he could ever ask for. Following Gordon Ayme walked with him into the forest until the only thing he could see was the soft flashlight lighting their path. As they stopped Ayme stood before Gordon watching the man as he eagerly unzipped his pants clearly wanting his daily dose of fun. As Ayme stood glaring at the male he easily balled up his fist and like Leroy had showed him hit Gordon quite hard enough to hear the snap from his now damaged nose.

 

With a quick hand Ayme had the leash off and had a decent head start as he ran deeper into the forest. Trying to keep his mind focused Ayme ran until he needed a break crouching down Ayme stayed still listening for his master.

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"Gah!" Gordon cried out in pain as he fell on his back on the ground and before he could do anything Ayme had slipped away. "Get back here Ayme I order you! Get back!" He roared furiously as he managed to get up and start chasing after the albino, but with the forest being so dark and the man himself out of shape he soon lost track of the albino. His hysterical screeches could be heard all across the dark woods but he soon turned around and headed back to the house. Shortly after he got back out with a rifle and more importantly a hound. He let the dig sniffed on the pillow Ayme has been sleeping on for the past couple of days and then let the beasr lose. "Go my boy, get my slave back for daddy!" Gordon said as he quickly followed the dog and resumed his chase.

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Ayme listening could only hear Gordon's screams as he walked deeper in the forest. Shivering as the cold air blew across his skin Ayme continued to try and find out where he was going. Taking a break again he stopped and rested on a rock his feet bloody and cut from running across the rocky terrain without any shoes. Wincing in pain Ayme was unsure where to go or what to do since he didn't know where he was. Looking around Ayme stopped at a small road the unknowing to him lead from the mansion to a highway.

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Right about the time Ayme made it to the road did the poor man began hearing the bark of the hound, and soon enough the beast made its way to the naked man, jumping towards him and bit into his legs. Soon after Gordon showed up and the first thing he did was to grab Ayme by the leash and slapped him in the face. "YOU FILTHY WHORE! I treated you with love and care and this is how you repay me!" He said furiously as he pointed at his bloody nose. He began to drag Ayme back through the woods all the while he muttered frantically: "What should I do.... just what should I do to make you see...! This is your destiny, OUR destiny! To be together and yet you defy me at every turn! Damn it Ayme... Damn it.... No... I will not give up Ayme.. I'll show you... I'll show you how much I love you and you'll know.... And you'll love me too! Yes... Yes!"

 

Soon enough they were back at the house, and Ayme was in a total mess having been dragged all across the forest and yet, that mattered little to the crazed man. To him, the albino looked as beautiful as ever, regardless of how many bruises, cuts, and dirt he had all over him. Perhaps his deranged mind really couldn't see anything that he found to be imperfect. Gordon dragged Ayme back to the dark basement and hanged him by his hands with the cuffs chained to the ceiling. He then left for a moment only to return with several large water bottles filled with some yellowish white substance. "See Ayme, can't you see! All of the cum I've collected for the past five years, every drop was dedicated to you! Filled with my love and devotion! Now I shall make you feel it....I shall fill you up with it!"

 

Gordon put a ring gag in Ayme's mouth and then took out a long rubber tube, connecting one side to one of the cum bottles he then put the other end through the ring gag and down the poor man's throat. As he raised the bottle up he began to fill Ayme's stock with his filth. After emptying one bottle he simply moved on to the next one, until only one bottle was left.

 

"Now let's fill your cock as well!" The man smiled frantically as he took out a syringe and a much smaller rubber tube. He inserted the tube down Ayme's urethral than began to use the syringe to pump the man's filth up the albino's bladder. Once the last bottle was emptied as well he took out the rubber tube and used a small plug to stop Ayme from passing the filth out. Touching Ayme's bloated belly the man said: "Can you feel it Ayme... Can you feel my love.... So... so much love.... hehe...."

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Ayme could only scream out in agonising pain as the dogs teeth ripped into his flesh stealing any chance he had of escaping. Trying desperately to get the dog off Ayme was trapped under the sharp fangs until Gordon arrived. Shrinking back in fear at the angry man the slaps to his face hurt more then usual due to his freezing skin making the sharp slaps sting. Struggling against Gordon Ayme became more frantic kicking and pushing away from his captor. The whole time Ayme was being dragged back hot tears fell down his face the male terrified as he was dragged back towards the house.

 

Seeing the mansion looming in the distance Ayme at this point stopped caring how much he hurt his body trying to get away. Despite how much closer they got and how much Ayme struggled or hurt the man Gordon didn't seem phased by it as the male continued to drag Ayme closer to the horror filled basement. As Gordon finished dragging him down into the basement Ayme's heart instantly sank in his chest the feeling such a deep sense of dread. Once the cuffs where placed upon him once again confirming he wouldn't escape again Ayme could only cry and tremble under the monsters touch. Looking around for some way to escape Ayme was starting to become more panicked his eyes watching Gordon as he began to prepare a worse punishment for him. Seeing the containers Ayme tried his best to fight and make the task as hard as possible for Gordon the albino still having a spark of fight left in him despite the position he was in.

 

As Ayme was forced to open his mouth and eat the slimy and gross cum he could only beg in his mind for Gordon to stop his voice having left him awhile ago due to his poor mental state. Whimpering out as if begging yet again his stomach twisted in pain from the cum he was forced to eat. Ayme clawing desperately at his chains cried out in pain almost screaming as a tube was forced into his urethral and he was being filled with cum against his will. As more hot tears fell down his face Ayme just stood exhausted and tiered his body covered in blood and many horrible bruises and cuts. It was at this point Ayme felt his most broken no matter how much he tried to get away he wouldn't...looking down defeated as Gordon touched his bloated belly Ayme could only feel the warmth of blood dripping across his body and from his badly cut wrists he had clawed at trying to escape.

 

Whimpering softly almost as if he had no strength Ayme stood shaking and burning in pain wishing desperately to get out of Gordon's hands. Suddenly without warning to even his own mind Ayme's stomach twisted more sharply then before. Weather it was the stress or sudden gross cum he had consumed his body was gagging. Ayme threw up and without the ability to correct his body or move he started choking on the vomit that instantly started smothering the weakened mans ability to breathe making him slowly suffocate.

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Gordon clearly cared little for Ayme's suffering, as the poor man was choking on all the filth he unlocked the cuff holding Ayme's hands over his head and laid him on the makeshift bed. Pulling his legs open Godron took out his erection and rammed it inside Ayme ass in a harsh pound. "Gotta fill your ass up too! Hehehehe..." Gordon said with a crazed smile as he began to work his waist, despite his own bleeding nose the middle aged man seemed utterly mesmerized and addicted to violating the poor young man. As he groaned and panted he yelled: "Grr.... ahh.. ha.. yeah you like that? You like that little bitch?! ha.... ha.. fuck... yeah.... You're my slave Ayme, MY slave! Don't you dare running away from me like that again you heard that? Don't you dare!"

 

For some reason the middle aged man seemed particularly infatuated this time, perhaps Ayme's near escaped had sparked something in his dark mind that made him more desperate than usual. Not long after he began fucking he came inside him, but that was only the first load out of many. He continued to work his waist while he kissed, licked, bit all over Ayme as he came again and again. Given the fact that they were down the windowless basement there was simply no way to tell the passage of time, and the dark nightmare the albino was trapped in seemed endless at times.

 

Yet suddenly Gordon stopped, after coming for god knows how many times he has long pushed his body, more specifically his heart, beyond its limit. Grabbing his chest the man's face was twisted in pain as he seemed desperate trying to breath but to no avail. He fell on his back while his cock slipped out of Ayme's hole and as he twitched and squirmed on the floor his face was also turning red, then purple, until with one last kick he fell limp and the last breath escaped the madman's lungs.

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As Ayme suffocated he ended up passing out only to eventually clear his airways and come to to Gordon ramming his ass. Dazed and trying to make sense of what was happening feeling the bite marks and the endless torment Ayme could only wish for the abuse to end against his poor tiered body. As time seemed to slowly pass it was as if Ayme had been stuck under Gordon's abuse for months on end. Digging his nails into the pillows under his body Ayme could only lay still and take everything gordon was giving him the male in no shape to even fight back. One could only imagine Aymes sudden shock as Gordon with the blink of an eye was on the floor his face turning many shades as the bastard finally died.

 

Sitting still in the quietness of the basement Ayme sat in shock staring at the man before getting up and slowly walked towards the stairs...toward his freedom. Opening the door Ayme took a hesitant step out of the basement he had spent the last day? Maybe week? In. Quietly looking around the place Ayme made his way to Gordons bedroom and after rummaging through his closet pulled out a loose shirt and some poor fitting pants. Taking a belt Ayme adjusted the pants to fit before making his way to the living room spotting a simple cellphone laying on the couch. Picking it up Ayme slowly dialed a number his body shaking as he waited for an answer.

 

"Hello?" Yoh answered with a yawn wondering who would be calling at such an hour. Standing in shock it took a moment before Ayme was finally able to speak.

 

"...can you come get me?" Ayme whispered his voice breaking. "Please" He begged breaking down crying as Yoh sat up in his bed instantly grabbing his keys and his shoes.

 

"Breathe...just breathe and don't move I'll come get you" Yoh replied having realized who he was talking to. After talking Ayme through how to find his location address on the phone Yoh an hour later arrived in Gordon's driveway. Running up the steps he was glad to find the door unlocked and upon laying eyes on Ayme, he let out a sigh of relief. "Can you walk?" Yoh asked as Ayme shook his head no his clothes already soaked in his own blood and Gordon's cum. Looking at Ayme's bloody ankle Yoh gently picked him up and carried him to the car.

 

The drive back to the small hospital Yoh ran under Harold's care and ever watchful eyes was quiet and empty. Once Yoh arrived he parked and quickly carried Ayme back towards one of the rooms and locked the door behind him so as not to be disturbed. A few painful hours later Ayme was washed thoroughly inside and out and had been stitched as best as Yoh could manage with the horrible state Ayme was in. Laying in the bed Ayme watched as Yoh updated his order for medication for the male knowing he would have to start re introducing it into his system quite slowly. "I'm going to put you on a psychiatric hold for a few days. Just to be safe, you have been off of your pills...by the looks of it some of this looks self inflicted."

 

Yoh gently touched Ayme's hand in a way that was reassuring it wouldn't be a permanent situation. "I don't blame you for this happening...don't listen to that side of yourself" Yoh added as if reassuring Ayme that he wasn't at fault for the week of hell and his current mental state.

 

"...I made him mad and killed him..." Ayme whispered having been quite silent during the whole ordeal the few sounds he only made where just simple acknowledgments of pain. "He was just trying to make me act better..." Ayme added his voice shaking as he broke down crying confused and unsure if during that lucid moment he should have even left his masters side.

 

"...don't worry. He's alright! We will go visit him after your better and you can stay with him okay?" Yoh replied instantly switching to please Aymes mental side since he was unsure of how lucid Ayme was.

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When Harold first contacted him of Ayme's disappearance he couldn't help but feel responsible since he had a bad feeling about the supposed call from Leroy to begin with. It was time like this that he wished he was still the mafia boss like in the past so he would have the resources and manpower to help, but right now all he could do was to wait for Harold's call. As the days gone by with no trace of the albino Derrick slowly started to lose hope. Ayme was never the most stable person and he had disappeared for five years before, there was no way to tell if Ayme was truly in danger, or he simply just decided to disappear once more after making sure his children would be taken care of. In any case all Derrick could do was to pray for Ayme's safety, and after almost a week of mental torment his prayers were finally answered. He got a call from Harold telling him that Ayme has been found and was hospitalized. Derrick immediately rushed towards the small clinic and as he got in he saw Harold talking to a man who he presumed to be the doctor.

 

"Is Ayme alright?!" Derrick said hurriedly as he rushed towards the two.

 

"Calm down Derrick. He is fine." Harold said: "You know how durable he is."

 

"And you know how fragile he is!" Derrick objected as he turned towards the doctor: "May I see him?"

 

After giving Derrick a quick explanation of what happened to Ayme during this whole time the doctor then told Derrick try not to add any stress to Ayme cause he was still unstable. Finally Derrick was able to reunite with Ayme and as he saw the albino on the bed he was horrified by his condition. After all Derrick had never seen Ayme at his worst when he was locked up in the dugeon. Even when they were in that old apartment and he saw the man with all his wounds still recovering, Ayme still had a lot of energy in him. Doing his best to suppress his shock, Derrick put up his usual gentle smile he approached Ayme and laid a gentle kiss on his cheek. He then held onto Ayme's hand and said: "You had me worried for a bit my love. How are you doing?"

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"I'm good. Yoh's been working on some of the worse parts" Ayme mumbled instantly pulling away from Derrick's touch. He of course was not liking being touched by anyone but Gordon or Yoh at the moment since he was still faithful to Gordon. "We are trying to keep the dog bite from getting infected since he bit the bone" Ayme added almost oblivious to the fact that he was rather creepy calm. "Sorry I missed our dinner date." Ayme mumbled as he looked at the door watching Yoh walk off and clearly was watching for Gordon the male not believing his master was dead. "I won't stay long though. Eventually I have to head back Gordon will be lonely without me" Ayme added softly his voice almost sweet as he talked about his abuser.

 

While it was rather apparent Ayme was in and out of it, but for Ayme he had no way to know and despite Yoh having taught him how to tell the difference he was struggling. "We can go visit after you take this." Yoh added coming into the room as he set down a new trial of drugs to see if they helped.

 

"You said that last night multipule times" Ayme grumbled taking the pills as he huffed and let Yoh shine the lights on his eyes and check his pulse. "I'll be back in two hours. Keep your butt in the bed" Yoh added clearly annoyed the medication wasn't taking.

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Derrick remained calm as he heard Ayme taking about this "Gordon", who given what the doctor had told him was the very man who captured Ayme and put him through all this torment, and yet the way Ayme talked about him was as if he was talking about a lover. While he understood Ayme's condition makes him delusional at times it was still quite bizarre to see, not to mention the shock of seeing Ayme pulling away from him in that manner.

 

Despite his own internal turmoil, Derrick kept that all hidden since he knew no matter how painful he felt, Ayme have suffered much, much more. Derrick pulled a chair and sat beside the bed and said: "How about you take some rest? I am sure this... Gordon would want to see you healed up and healthy, not to mention Haru and Haruka. They've been just impossible to calm down during your absence. They must miss their father so very dearly."

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"Mmh did they?" Ayme asked as he settled down in the bed a little more watching Derrick a little. "Yoh reminded me who everyone was. Seems I forgot when I woke up this morning" Ayme explained as he frowned a little. Looking at Derrick hesitantly Ayme was afraid to ask but..he needed to know. "How much of me is here mentally?" Ayme asked ever so gently as if he was afraid he would be lied to. "Yoh says I'm fine and not acting any different but he keeps saying I have to stay in bed even though I feel fine." Ayme finished clear confusion in his eyes since he wasn't fully acknowledging that he was hurt so bad at most to him he had a few 'love' marks and just a simple deep dog bite.

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Derrick was glad to see some semblance of the Ayme he knew returning to the albino's eyes. "How much of you are here? That's a...Weird question..." Derrick muttered as he pondered on the man's question and after a short silence he said: "Honestly I can't say for sure... You look like a mess and yet you say you feel fine. I don't exactly know how your body chemistry work but once I got into a fight and knocked down a dozen men without noticing how much injuries I got. Only minutes after the fight was over did the pain start to kick in. I think your brain is likely doing something similar but much more.... Just take some rest and relax. I promise everything is gonna be alright."

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"I'm sick of everyone telling me that everything is going to be fine!" Ayme snapped flying instantly into a raging fit as he threw a pillow at Derrick's head.

 

"Touch him and I'll drug you into next week!" Yoh screamed at Ayme from down the hallway.

 

 

"Fuck off old man!" Ayme snapped glaring at Yoh's direction as he tried to get out of the bed but was stopped his ankle chained closely to the bedframe.

 

"Your lucky I see you as my son. Anyone else would have got their ass kicked." Yoh grumbled carrying in some thicker blankets and some lunch for Ayme and Derrick. "Don't let him mouth off to you just because he's hurt. This side is an asshole." Yoh grumbled as he pushed Ayme back into the bed with one arm and covered him with the thicker blanket with his other arm. "He talks big but he's not one to actually do more then punch and kick. Wished Leroy hadn't taught him how to hit harder though."

 

"Fuck you! You can't treat me like this I won't stay locked away with you!" Ayme screamed at Yoh who sighed and just sat on his doctors chair giving Ayme a little space as he watched Ayme instantly break into tears and hide away under the blankets.

 

"He's been like this since he woke up. He can't leave or he will get more hurt so restraints are the only thing I can do" Yoh added with a tiered sigh the doctor pulling out a pack of cigarettes as he offered Derrick one. "Inform me who you are again?".

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Derrick was surprised by the sudden outburst of violence coming from Ayme, and he just froze there not knowing what to do as Yoh restrained Ayme further. Snapping out of his shock from the doctor's question he answered: "I'm Derrick. I'm Ayme's..." He stopped in his track and showed a rather bitter expression. Just what exactly was he to the albino? Partner? Lover? Friend? None of them sounded convincing given how Ayme seemed able to forget him at a moment's notice, even though it was result from his lack of medication but that delusional side was a part of Ayme nonetheless, or arguable, his true nature. How could he claim to be Ayme's lover when the man needed drug to even remember him right while he clearly remembered the doctor even in the worst of circumstances? After a short silence he said with a weak smile: "I love him. Is that enough information for you?"

 

Derrick turned back to look at Ayme who was crying and hiding under the blankets. He'd only seen someone so utterly broken back when he was still in the mafia and tortured his enemies. Perhaps this was the way karma decided to punish him for his past crimes, to torment his loved one? He clenched his fist in anger and frustration and after a moment he reached out towards Ayme and asked: "Do you want to leave? I can take you away."

 

Obviously the doctor objected but Derrick gave him a stern, murderous look, channeling some of his former mafia in him with the stare and shut the man up easily. "I will not just sit and watch him chained like an animal. Wouldn't it be easier for him to break out of this if he actually see 'it' again? See that it's really dead?" Turning back to Ayme he said: "I'll take you to see 'Gordon'. That's what you want right?"

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"Mmh its enough. Just wondered why Harold was so willing to let you back here" Yoh added with a frown as he smoked. Watching Derrick as he glared Yoh chuckled a little as he watched Derrick try and talk to Ayme. "He wont listen to you. You've known him what a year maybe? I've known him for twenty. There's a reason he's so willing to trust me..." Yoh added as he lit his cigarette making Ayme peek out at the smell.

 

"Smoking is bad for you" Ayme added changing his mood again as he reached out lovingly and took the cigarette his hand touching Yoh's leg way to seductively as he got into the males personal space.

 

"...your right I'm sorry" Yoh added with a small frown not liking Ayme touching him so casually. "Your not respecting my space. Move your hand" Yoh ordered his tone even and quite calm as Ayme obeyed and sat back on the bed watching Yoh. "Ayme just needs to be balanced out again and watched. Usually takes me a few days to find his triggers. Once you can find them he slowly snaps back and his brain keeps more on track" Yoh explained to Derrick as he set Aymes food down watching him eat. "I've studied him since he was three. At that age he was already showing regressive and aggressive behaviors" Yoh explained to Derrick getting up and moving away from him.

 

"You probably fascinated him being a mafia boss and all. Never understood why he was so excited by that stuff." The doctor replied setting down some more pills for Ayme who easily took them and sipped his water zoning out a little. "You want to try shock therapy....forcing him to realize what he's feeling is pain and trama." Yoh asked as if he wasn't really paying attention.

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"Call it whatever you like. It shouldn't hurt to at least give it a try." Derrick said as he reached for Ayme's restraints and freed the man from them. Looking at Ayme he asked: "I'm going to pick you up, is that okay?" He hesitantly reached for the albino not wanting to alarm him and gently he held the man up in his arms, picking him up along with all the blankets from the bed as he slowly began to head towards the exit. "I'll bring him back by nightfall." Derrick said to the doctor before leaving with Ayme in his hand. After taking Ayme to his van he put the man in the back seat and began driving. It took a bit of driving but eventually the two arrived at the city morgue. Derrick took Ayme off the van and carried him on his back as they found their way inside, Harold had pulled some strings for them to sneak in through the back entrance and soon enough they were lead to a room with what was clearly a dead body laying beneath a cloth on the table.

 

Walking towards the body with Ayme on his back Derrick reached for the cloth and picked it up, revealing the naked body of Gordon laying dead there. The corpse has clearly been put in the freezer as you could see ice over his messy hair. A huge sewed up scar could be seen on his torso showing that they've done a thorough autopsy on the man's body. Derrick picked up the form laying beside the corpse and read from it: "Gordon Brown, age 48, occupation investment banker, cause of death, heart attack." He showed the form to Ayme and said: "He is dead Ayme. He really is dead. Carved up and put in the freezer. He can't hurt you or lock you up anymore."

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Ayme glared as they left the room his eyes burning into Yoh for letting him go so easily.Confused and feeling rather helpless against Derrick's wishes he sulked in the backseat as they drove off. Once at the building and after being carried inside Ayme laid his head on Derricks shoulder clearly not liking where they where. Listening to the cold words that spilled out of Derrick's mouth Ayme refused to look at the body or the papers. "...I didn't want him to die...he was nice at some points" Ayme whispered clearly remembering that he had been spending time with the man and knew him.

 

"...who will take care of his home...he had a dog and...and" Ayme cut off trying to make sense of everything. Hell at this point Ayme was confused and it was if he had been partially slapped back to reality. "....did he die...because of me?" Ayme asked feeling guilty as he finally looked down at Gordon wishing he could sit for a moment but he was glad for the touch of another person to keep him focused. "I-I made him mad a few times...if I had been better for him been what he wanted he wouldn't have died and left right?" Ayme asked his voice breaking as he tried to make some sense of his feeling since despite how awful Gordon was....he had been kind to Ayme in a few small ways.

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Derrick turned to look back at Ayme who was clearly feeling bad about the whole thing. Letting out a heavy sigh he said: "People die all the time Ayme, whether it's related to you all not.You can't be held responsible for other people's madness, especially not those of your kidnapper." Turning his gaze back at the corpse he continued: "I'm sure he was nice at times, but I can assure you that he was nice not because he cared for you, but because being nice to you justified when he was not. It's typical of many abusers in a relationship. The way I see it, he was lucky to have died of a heart attack, or I would've made him suffer a long, long time... Now let's go. This isn't somewhere we should stay long."

 

Derrick quickly took Ayme out of the gloomy place but instead of heading straight back to the clinic he decided to take a detour. They soon arrived on top of a small hill looking over the city and Derrick found a bench with a pretty nice view. He got Ayme some warm milk tea, and he got a canned coffee himself. Sitting beside the troubled man he asked: "So, how are you doing?

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Staring at the body as Derrick talked Ayme just sat on a small stool quietly looking over Gordon's features as he tapped his fingers on the table. Gently getting up Ayme walked over towards Derrick and followed him out. Once in the car he was surprised that Derrick wasn't taking him back to the clinic. Looking at his lover? Friend? Ayme was a little nervous as they stopped and he followed Derrick to a nice area to look at the city. Looking down at the scene below and then to his tea Ayme was unsure how to answer the question.

 

"...How do I answer that kind of question?" Ayme asked knowing all to well what he was feeling was hard to describe. "...I-I feel relieved yet sad. I don't know why but a part of me misses him. I shouldn't even miss him" Ayme mumbled sipping his drink as he looked out at the city. Taking a moment to clear his thoughts Ayme pondered how to put his next few words the man having never felt these feelings before.

 

"I feel helpless. I got hurt again and had to call for help. I feel...lost and scared being out of Gordon's basement. I want desperately to go back to Yoh and just drown myself on medicine and sleep." Ayme admitted adjusting his leg so no pressure was on it. "I want to have control over my body I couldn't escape because I couldn't see him as a threat" Ayme whispered holding his drink close as if it was the last bit of warmth he would ever feel. "The second my hormones kicked in I lost my rational thinking...if I could have resisted I could have worked through the steps to keep myself sane and could have fought back a little. Hell...I did fight back but I didn't kill him I just ran and didn't even think of hiding or going for a car or a knife"

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Derrick thought about what Ayme said, and after a short pause he asked: "It's pretty natural to grow attached to your capture, typical Stockholm syndrome. And in your case your unique condition made things more complicated. I mean... before you were captured by him when was the last time you had sex? Given how hard you tried to sober up and the whole thing with your twins I suspect you weren't able to blow of steam for quite a while? Despite how awful and how wrong what the man did to you, he did scratched your itch a little, didn't he?"

 

Seeing Ayme's mind was a bit clearer Derrick cautiously reached his arm around Ayme's shoulder to bring him close. He looked at the confused man beside him and said: "We all have our demons and there's no way to escape them. All we can do is to learn to live with it." He gave a glace at his hand which was missing a finger, a constant reminder of who he was and what he'd done, but also what he'd overcome. He looked back at Ayme and said: "If you'd let me, I want to help you with it all. At least until we find Leroy again."

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"The year I spent cleaning up was my last fuck. Hence how we got the twins in the first place." Ayme admitted looking out at the shining lights as he sighed. "I was learning how to gain control over my emotional side and how to sperate reality from insanity. The medicine helped but I did slip up even while on it" Ayme admitted with a small frown not wanting to admit that Gordon did...please him in a way. Feeling Derrick touch him gently Ayme tensed for a second but relaxed noticing it was really just Derrick there.

 

"...It...was nice at first it was the most pleasurable thing giving in and just submitting to him. It was also terrifying at one point I pissed him off don't really remember why but my guess is he didn't know about my mental shit...every time I did act in a way to scare him he acted violently towards me"Ayme whispered his voice saddened but also feeling a hint of relief that he was able to remember more and that Yoh wouldn't have to keep assuming the worst. Slowly taking Derricks hand Ayme squeezed it gently taking comfort in Derricks presence. "Its a nice offer...really but the last time I tried to fix this after my trama it cost me Leroy. I ended up hurting him." Ayme admitted guilt overflowing on his face. "If he doesn't want to see me I can understand why. I'm unpredictable, its probably best that Harold and Yukie keep the children...they could do better then me".

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Derrick let out a heavy sigh after hearing what Ayme said. After Ayme disappeared and soon after Leroy was nowhere to be found. Not knowing just why did the former security chief abandoned everything and gone off grid must weigh heavily on Ayme's shoulders. Derrick said: "That's more reason for you to try harder to make things right, or the past five years would've been for nothing." He turned Ayme's face towards him and said: "Look Ayme, I know you have doubt about yourself but you're much stronger than you think. Anyone else would've crumbled after experiencing what you've gone through and yet here you are, thinking not of yourself but of your loved ones. Not to mention your twins was abandoned by their mother, think of what would it be like for them growing up knowing that they were abandoned by their father as well?"

 

Derrick turned his gaze towards the city and said: "As for you losing Leroy... honestly I don't think you have... Even though I've only met him in that apartment from the way he looked at you I could tell just how deeply he loved you. I doubt something as little as you disappearing would've made him give up on you. I don't know why he has disappeared after you were gone and hasn't been heard ever since. Maybe he went to look for you? Perhaps he got into some trouble and didn't want to drag you into it? In any case the best thing you could do would be to make sure you yourself are alright, so when you finally find him again, you'll be able to take him back with open arms."

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"They would always feel abandoned" Ayme mumbled relating all to much to having his parents abandon him unknowingly. Looking out at the city with Derrick Ayme sighed as he listened to Derrick's words of truth and wisdom finding some comfort in them. " I'll keep that in mind...the only issue is my whole issue with my inability to control myself." Ayme muttered clearly annoyed that he was so weak he couldn't stop his basic urges. "I don't want him to worry about protecting me just because I get a raging hard on from any sort of physical contact" Ayme added unsure of what to do when it came to this. "While Leroy did help me with some self defense it wasn't enough to really get an upper hand.

 

He might be in more danger coming back to me...hell you shouldn't even be talking to me." Ayme whispered not liking the next words that came out of his mouth. "Gordon...he mentioned others. He kept obsessing over others wanting me and that he would take better care of me then they would." Ayme explained as he set his cup down beside him. "Before we met I hung out with a lot of men...back then I never was taught safety around strangers so I attracted a lot of trouble. Kinda makes sense why Yoh kept me locked away. Turns out I was overly trusting of everyone, he didn't want me hurt or taken advantage of."

 

"Because of this side of me that also can't judge danger of strangers I should have never left Yoh's basement...I was a stupid man and freely gave out my number and allowed them to take a picture of my face" Ayme whispered clearly terrified of the mistakes he made.

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Derrick felt a shiver traveling up his spine when Ayme mentioned the "others" Gordon had talked about. In addition to the security guard who tried to attack Ayme this is already the second psycho who got obsessed over Ayme and wanted to do him harm. The thought of potentially more of those crazy men being out there plotting to harm Ayme made Derrick sick. When Ayme said that he should have stayed in the doctor's basement Derrick held the albino tightly in his arms and said: "Don't say things like that Ayme, if you've never left that basement... If I've never left you... I would still be the mafia boss living off the misery of others, and I would have never known love... You have made my life better Take, and I won't let anyone, even you, deny that." He pressed a soft kiss on Ayme's forehead and said: "Now come-on, I think it's about time I take you back tongue clinic."

 

Derrick took Ayme back to the clinic and stayed there with him for the next couple of days. Eventually Ayme's condition stabilized and Harold even let the nannies take the kids to see Ayme. One day Harold came to the clinic with a serious expression. At first he just stood there starring at Ayme but after a while he let out a heavy sigh and said: "My men had finished going through that bastard's house and went through his communication records. From the email trail it would seem someone in your "fanclub" offered to help him lure you want by calling you with Leroy's phone." Harold paused for a moment and said: "You see Ayme, given Leroy's job as my security chief everything he owned were specially made with safety in mind to prevent potential leak. His phone for instance could only be turned on with his fingerprint and iris recognition. There's no way Leroy would allow this to happen unless he was captured. In other words.... Whoever helped Gordon has Leroy in their hands."

 

Harold walked up towards Ayme and said: "Leroy was not just my employee, he was my friend. My best friend. If one of the perverts who are after you got him then the only way we can help him would be for you to be bait. I know what you've just been through and I know what a terrible thing I am asking....But this is our only option... And we both owe him to at least try." Harold knelt before the bed and said: "Help me Ayme! Help me save him!"

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Going back to the clinic was a bit of a relief for Ayme who felt more secure under Yoh's watchful eyes. Once back in bed Ayme was out cold and curled up under the blankets. As Ayme got better and became more stable he talked with Yoh about furthering his treatment and trying some new things. Afew hours later he was surprised to see the babies arriving with the nannies. Smiling and snuggling the small bundles Ayme was glad to see the woman knew what they where doing and that his children where happy and healthy.

 

While Ayme rested and healed he started working out to better keep himself in shape and started some much needed therapy with Yoh who helped him work through some things. Coming back from his morning shower Ayme was surprised to see Harold waiting for him. Slipping on a tank top and shorts Ayme sat down on the bed as Harold explained all he had discovered. Seeing Harold approch him Ayme could only think the man was going to attack him. In stunned almost scared silence Ayme listened to Harold feeling strange to see such a powerful man reduced to begging on his knees.

 

"First get up off your knees...begging like this is sad even if I want to see such a thing" Ayme mumbled clearly a little aroused to see such a powerful man kneel before him. "Even though I do like such acts and wish to devour you sexually after doing this...I won't" Ayme admitted as he got up and grabbed some slippers. Slipping them on his feet he stood looking at Harold for a moment as if fighting some deep beastly urges. "If I agree to this I have some terms you need to agree on. First I get to decide the assholes fate unless it can't happen I want him alive."

 

"Second...before we do anything, I need to know all of your security plans for this to work and you'll need to approve of a few things for Yoh...some not legal." Ayme admitted pacing a little as he stopped and sat on the bed again clearly nervous and unsure how well this would work. "He's going to cut my nerves and burn them. Doing this prevents me from feeling any pain they might inflict and kills all sexual desires" Ayme explained knowing all to well that was the only way he was able to get away the first time. "I'll also be drugging myself...enough that it won't kill me but just to the point where whoever that has been tracking me thinks I fell off the wagon again" Ayme finished knowing half of his plan could go horribly wrong but...on the off chance it didn't he could save Leroy. "I owe it to him." Ayme added softly determined to find and save Leroy.

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