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The psychologist and the phobia (private Saga x Tuffy)


DeLuna
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Plot: Yunase (Yuu) disliked being touched by people, not even by his parents. After being raped by his teacher on his 16th birthday, the dislike of being touched by people turned to fear. He started to become even more introverted, and more or less mute. Yuu's parents got worried and sent him to a psychologist, but it didn't help, so they sent him to several different ones. After several years of seeing different psychologists Yuu's mother hears about a psychologist that has never failed to help someone get better. She contacts him, hoping he can cure her son of his phobia.

 

 

Character:

 

Name: Yunase Mizuki (Yuu for short)

 

Age: 24

 

Appearance: Short blond hair, thin, somewhat pale, icy-blue eyes

 

Clothes: White T-shirt with a hooded jacked. The jacket has is blue and has a zipper in the front. He often wears sweatpants and sneakers

 

Occupation: Computer related stuff

 

Personality: Introvert, kind, polite, doesn't say much, only speaks when spoken to, doesn't trust people easily, doesn't like conflicts, runs away when he gets yelled at, backs away when he's about to be touched

 

History: He never liked people touching him, so he always flinched away when someone tried to touch him, or he'd let them touch him, but it was something he didn't enjoy. It got worse when his teacher raped him when he was 16 and a few weeks. He then began to become more fearful of touch, and becoming more introverted.

 

Position: uke

 

Likes: Sweets, animals (especially cats), the cool night breeze

 

Dislikes: Being touched, being in a crowded area

 

 

Story start:

 

 

Yunase shifted uncomfortably in the couch why had he decided to do this? He glanced at the man, his current psychologist, sitting on the chair beside him and took a deep breath.

”I never liked people touching me” he began. He should be used to this by now, having been tossed around between different psychologists since his late teens. None of which that could help him get rid of his phobia, and he doubted that this guy could do anything either.

”I wasn't too fond of my parents touching me either. I always backed away at the sight of a hand coming near me... and then on the day I turned 16...” Yunase took a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling, trying to distance himself from the painful memory that he had locked away. He fell silent when the memories reached the surface, remembering those cold, brutal hands that groped his entire body, his cold husky voice when he congratulated him on his birthday. It became too much. He knew couldn't continue telling this man, this stranger, about the horrible event that had happened to him. Instead a heavy silence fell upon the room.

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[TD]free_by_entrepreneurial-d3he7x4.png

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[TR]

[TD]Name: Zhang Ryuusei.

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[TD]Age: 34 years old.

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[/TR]

[TR]

[TD]Occupation: Psychologist.

[/TD]

[/TR]

[TR]

[TD]Personality: Quiet, not really emotional or at least appearing to be not. Manipulative when wants to be and pretty distanced, though according to him it's 'respecting one's personal space'. Sarcasm is one of his strong traits.[/TD]

[/TR]

[TR]

[TD]Likes: Books and art.[/TD]

[/TR]

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[TD]Dislikes: Noise and sweet things.[/TD]

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[TD]Position: Seme.[/TD]

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[TABLE=class: grid, width: 500, align: left]

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[TD]ADDITIONAL INFORMATION.

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[TD]Biography:

Ryuusei is from a wealthy Hongkongese family. He is the only child of Zhang, which holds a big impact over the Hong Kong industry. From early age he was pretty isolated due to his responsibilities as the heir of the family. When his father passes away however, he disbands the cooperation no matter how many people disagreed with his decision. His mother re-married a year later, which became another reason for Ryuusei to move to Japan.

 

Currently he is a successful psychologist in the country, known as Chou Ryuusei.[/TD]

[/TR]

[TR]

[TD]Random fact:

Ryuusei has been married once, but for 'unknown' reason he divorced.[/TD]

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Dark brown strands of hair lightly brushed the side of his cheek when he shifted on his chair. On his left, where the small decorative table was, there were a few papers scattered from a folder.

 

His newest patient happened to be a young boy, at least with ten years younger than him, who was developing a phobia - anthrophobia. He knew the male wasn't for first time in a psychologist's cabinet. Not only because of the papers provided to him, but because the other knew pretty much 'the procedure'.

 

Ryuusei didn't spare a glance to the boy. He could cause another panic attack. And the last he needed on the first meeting was to make the boy unable to tell another word. Conversation was a big part from the cure, so he had to make the other feel comfortable while talking, in fact, to want to talk.

 

- I see.

His deep voice didn't miss the chance to cut the boy's talk off. If the other believe he was the one who 'stopped' self from talking, it could affect the procedure. He had to believe he was stopped from talking. And the 'leash' wasn't around the psychologist's neck, but around his. Ryuusei's hand reached to side to pick one of the papers, eyes following the lines,

- Do you have any favorite food, Yunase-san?

 

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The younger male shifted on the couch and gave a quick glance at the other man's hands as he heard his voice, before looking away again. Yunase was a bit surprised at the complete change of topic, since most psychologists usually asked him about his feelings, or what his thoughts where.

He licked his dry lips before he spoke.

“I don't have any kind of food I particularly like, although I'm not to fond of spicy things” he said in a voice that lacked emotion. The memories still lingered in the back of his head, small talk wouldn't make them go away.

“Do you mind if I take a smoke?” he asked. “It helps calm me down...” he trailed off.

He didn't know why, but something about him made feel unsettled. It could be the fact that he was male, or maybe it was his deep voice, or maybe he was just paranoid. Yeah, it must be paranoia.

“Leave this place” a voice suddenly growled inside his head.

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With yet another reach he took his pen from the small table, to underline something. If an ignorant were in there, they would most probably think the psychologist was ignoring his client. However, it was far from the truth. The more he paid attention (at least visibly) to the boy, the more he would ruin the meeting. You shouldn't stare straight in the eyes of a scared dog, so much was obvious.

 

The dark haired male answered calmly,

- Go ahead, the ash-tray is on your right.

 

When he switched to another paper, another out of the blue question came,

- Do you have a personal blog where you share your thoughts? ..And if you do have one, any of your surrounding know about it?

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He took a small package out of his pocket along with a lighter.

“No... I don't have a blog” he answered “I don't like sharing my inner emotions or thoughts with others”

“You can't trust him” the voice inside his head hissed.

Yunase's hand moved to his mouth with a cigarette between his fingers. He took a breath, breathing in the poison. After exhaling the smoke a sort of temporary calm washed over him.

“It makes me feel exposed” the young male continued, ignoring the voice. He wouldn't let it ruin this chance, maybe his last chance, to get better like it had before and pushed it into the back of his mind.

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He felt the need to remove the thin and elegant framed glasses off his cold-expressed face. A quiet clank supported the movement when Ryuusei settled the glasses down on the table, leaning his back against the chair. His gaze fell onto the cigarette pack, which seemed to be the male's drug. Each individual had their own kind of drug, something to make them calm down their demons.

 

With an avert, he glanced from the pack to the male. It was visible he was forcing himself to have a conversation, not to mention, to even stay in the same room with a human being. Considering that if it were a woman, fragile and petite one, he wouldn't have been under such a stress. So the key would be, because it was a male in the same room.

 

With another gesture Ryuusei glanced to his watch. It was noon, a perfect time for lunch. The buffet in the building always had a splendid menu. So he was sure whenever he went there, there would be always something to choose from.

- I would like to invite you to have a meal with me, Yunase-san. Is it possible to go to the buffet here with me? - without shifting the pitch of his voice, he kept it hypnotically calm, - I assure you it's only medical employees and co-workers from the psychology department. There aren't any outsiders, only professionals and their clients. So you don't have to worry how you would look or if someone would stare at you. Most of the people here are in their own world, as you are.

 

He made a small pause, slowly raising from his chair to move to his desk,

- And of course, it doesn't exclude me and myself.

 

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“Eh?” Yunase's eyes widened and he looked directly at his psychologist, shocked at the question. It was the first time someone had asked him to do anything besides talking. He shifted uncomfortably on the couch and inhaled his poison again, even though the calming drug was already in effect.

“I.. I don't know...” his voice unsure, eyes looking down again. “I feel uneasy in crowds...” he trailed off.

“And besides the voice might become unbearable” he thought.

He didn't feel like facing it, feeling as if he wasn't strong enough to handle the consequences of defying it. But then again.... he shifted his gaze to the older male's eyes, as if he was searching for something that was hidden deep within them. His hands began to tremble slightly.

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Zhang paused onto his desk drawer, where he kept his phone. This was going nowhere, and he bet his head it has happened before - 'going nowhere with this patient'.

 

The dark brown haired male took out his phone silently, he didn't ignore the uncertainty of the other boy but staying in a dull cabinet and only making him repeat what he has done so far over and over again wouldn't lead to any change.

 

With a lean on the desk edge, he crossed his arms in front of his firm chest.

- Then you prefer to eat with me alone in this room?

 

Viewed from other angle, yes, he indeed was making him choose. The crowd or being alone with him.

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Yunase shifted nervously for, what was probably the 100th time today. He didn't know how to respond to the question. On one hand he didn't really feel like he could trust this guy and he made him feel uneasy, at least not yet, on the other hand... being in a crowd... and the voice... he didn't know what was worse. Yunase subconsciously took another cigarette and inhaled it's content.

He opened his mouth to answer him, but instead he began having coughing fit. Why? Had he taken too much? His eyes became hazy and his eyesight began to fade, he quickly re-gained it, though his eyes was still somewhat hazy.

“I.. I think it'd be better if I went outside” he said in a weaker voice than he had used before.

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"So I thought..."

 

Ryuusei rocked off the desk with a light gesture, nothing abrupt or startling. With a gather of phone and the keys for the cabinet he opened the door. It wasn't he lacked manners that he let his client follow him, but if he let the other walk in front of him - it might lead to paranoia. After all the male would have someone behind his back, and it was obvious that one was most weakest when 'attacked' from behind.

 

- It's on first floor, please do follow me else you wouldn't be allowed to enter the buffet. - trying to soften the atmosphere he joked, - I am something like your 'pass key'.

 

Once he took on the corridor he made a few turns, his hands jabbed in pockets on purpose. He supposed the male behind would stare and follow each gesture, especially the hands. So it was better if he 'used' them less, at least for now.

 

When they reached the glass door which had an automatic mechanism to slide open, Ryuusei paused to wait for Yunase. On the so said "portal", a guard was sitting on their left.

- Mr. Chou, good afternoon.

- Hello, Shuui. I will have my meal today with a friend of mine. - he didn't use 'client' or 'patient', and it had a reason. If he started objectifying in a way his client, it would put even a wider gap between them.

 

Shuui glanced over to remember the new face and nodded,

- Today they included two new dishes. Have a nice meal, guys!

 

Scrolling pass him, Zhang entered but this time he walked slowly. Not too far from Yunase. It'd be foolish to make the male feel lost in the crowd of doctors and patients.

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Yunase followed behind him, not to far, and not to close. He was watching him, his motions very carefully. Just in case.

He blinked once when he suddenly heard is voice, but he didn't respond to it. He just silently followed behind.

 

When they reached the guard, he felt his pulse quicken slightly and he swallowed dryly. Maybe it would've been better if they had been alone... but it was too late to voice his change mind now. His bit his lower lip, took a breath.

“You should've left while you had the chance” the voice snickered.

He stayed silent and tried to push it back. Was the cigarettes not working properly? Had he not taken enough? But he didn't dare to take another one, in case he'd suddenly black out.

 

As he passed the guard, still following his psychologist closely, he saw people. Too many people. His eyes flickered, looking around, landing on one person's hands just a second before moving over the the next.

“I... I feel like I want to run away” he said in a low voice, voicing his emotions for the first time in a long time. He didn't know why he had voiced his emotion, let alone to a stranger that knew nothing about him. Maybe it was because he thought that if the psychologist knew, he'd get him out of there, or maybe he just had had enough of keeping everything hidden inside. It was most likely the former.

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Zhang deliberately continued his pace, but still not ignoring the youngster.

- You said you dislike spicy things.. - he paused before the arrange buffet-window to check the dishes displayed there. In the far left he saw a cute, small cake that probably was designed for some kid. He wondered if the boy would pick it. In fact, he wanted to see what the boy would pick. Some people really went after 'the look' of it, if so - ... it'd be interesting, or so he thought.

 

- What would you like to eat, Yunase-san? - still with hands in pockets, he glanced to the other.

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He blinked once. He ignored the emotions that had escaped from his subconscious? His eyes darted to the other people before landing on the older one. The crowd still made him uneasy and nervous. His palms started to sweat... he wouldn't be able stand this much longer.

 

”I'd like that cake... please” he said, his voice low, unsure, dry. He looked over at the other male and cautiously went for the cake. Yunase hadn't eating anything like this in a while due to lack of work recently. He'd mostly lived on pizza and instant noodles.

 

As if on cue his stomach growled. He was hungry. Had he even eaten anything today? He pondered it for a moment. The only thing he had gotten into his system today was a cup of coffee... or was that yesterday? He didn't remember. Every day kinda.... blended together.

 

He looked at the cake in his hands, he was very tempted to eat it right away, but he just couldn't find peace to eat it with so many other people around. He shifted nervously.

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It was rather amusing to watch the reactions of the boy. If they weren't a patient and a psychologist, Ryuu most probably would have teased him until the crimson embraced the whole area of his face.

 

Without a delay, he got himself a cup of black coffee. Zhang wasn't the type of a person to laze around, but being workaholic wasn't a reason, just a result of his insomnia. Strolling along with Yunase, they found a quiet place in the far corner of the room where they could talk.

 

Once the clank was made against the table, Ryuu placed his hands on a visible place - in front of him onto the table, clasped fingers together. The steaming coffee was like a decoration before the grown up, business-dressed-like male.

- Is there a thing you haven't told to any other psychologist so far, Yunase-san? - it wasn't curiosity, but Ryuusei had the feeling the male wasn't cured either because out of luck to find a professional or because he didn't fully share his problem.

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Yunase's gaze involuntarily landed on the older man's hands, watching them suspiciously. He couldn't help it, it was a habit he had formed when his first psychologist had made an attempt to touch him, which in turn had made him panic. Yunase had stopped seeing him shortly afterwards.

 

He didn't answer his question, instead he cautiously brought a piece of cake to his mouth and chewed it slowly, savoring the taste. It tasted sweet, in other words, it was delicious.

 

As he was slowly enjoyed his cake he pondered the question that he was asked. Did he trust this guy? He didn't knew anything about him besides his profession and his given name, so how could he?

He opened his mouth to answer the question he had previously been asked.

 

”There is something...” he took a pause before he continued, ”But I can't tell you...” he trailed off, his eyes landing on his own hands.

Even though he couldn't tell him about his inner voice, he couldn't lie about it's existence either. Honesty was important in this kind of relationship, he at least knew that much.

 

He took out another cigarette and brought it to his mouth, feeling like the need to take another dose of his poison win over his fear of what would happen if he took too much.

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With a lean against his chair, he dropped his own gaze onto his lap. That was going nowhere. Be it in the cabinet or among the crowd - it still was the same. The boy just shut the doors to the outside words. If Ryuu tried to force them open, he could break what was left of Yunase. If he just silently watched, well, it'd be just 'silently watching'. He doubted the boy would start curing himself all alone, else the handy break he took from psychologists would have given results. But in fact, it seemed it made it worse. Not only he got even more self-conscious but he turned to hate psychologist of all people.

 

Zhang gave out a light sigh.

"Tiresome..", he thought. And he knew he had to gain the patient's trust first, seemed he was from these 'cases'.

 

- I didn't introduce myself, but I suppose so much as the name is known - Chou Ryuusei. I am 34-years old, currently working as a psychologist although I graduated with two degrees.

 

He raised his gaze to the boy and continued,

- I don't like people either, but I have to work with such in order to fit in the society. Not like my goal is to fit, but some aspects can't be avoided. Look around you, Yunase-san, you hate the crowd but the crowd doesn't even notice your existence yet. It's only me who sees you. So keep your eyes on me, don't avoid me.

 

The room was filled with doctors and psychologists busy with their own patients, so it was pretty true that everyone was busy in their 'own world', while Ryuu was completely fixated on Yunase.

 

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At his words Yunase's gaze moved from his hands to watch the psychologists and their patients. And like Ryuusei had said, they didn't seem to notice that he was there. His eyes wandered towards the other male's eyes. He couldn't keep the eye contact for too long, so ultimately he lowered them, not to his hands this time, but to his chest.

 

He felt unsure about how to answer him. Conversation wasn't his strong point since he tends to distance himself from people. Even towards his family. It wasn't as if he didn't believe that they didn't love him, it was just that he thought that it'd be better for them if he kept his distance. Better for everyone. That in turn made people see him as a cold and uncaring person, that however wasn't the case. He did care about things, like the cat he used to own. Yunase's mood worsened thinking about him... Why did he have to die so suddenly?

 

He began to scratch his already scary wrists, moving his eyes down to Ryuusei's hands again.

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Zhang averted his gaze to the scarred wrists that were worried by Yuu's nails again. The dark haired male had an idea how to start at least, but he needed some pen and a paper. Thus he made a raise, to drop by the nearest table and ask a co-worker of his for such. A brief moment to exchange some nice greetings, Ryuu got back.

 

- Sorry. I forgot my stuff in the cabinet. So.. - once again he took his place, of course watching his movements out. Not too abrupt but not too slow, they didn't have all day. It could be easier if he just took these things from his cabinet, but truth was..he didn't forget. If Ryuu took them from the start, the boy would notice the lunch had pretty much a hidden intention. And less Ryuu needed was to have the boy see him as someone with 'hidden' intentions.

 

- I want you to write down ten things or actions in order from most possible to most impossible to do. These things have to include another person. For example, how would you rate 'holding hands with someone'? Third place? Fourth? In other words, from one to ten, order such small "tasks" and let me see what you accept for 'possible' and what for 'impossible'.

 

He gently slid the paper and the pen against the table towards Yunase and then retreated his hand again.

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Yuunase cautiously took the pen he had been given, and began writing the thing's that he'd been asked. It took him a while to come up with all ten things and he was a bit hesitant to actually write them down, but eventually the list began to fill up:

 

1 Being in a large crowd

2 Sitting close to someone without actually touch them

3 Letting someone touch me briefly

4 Hold hands with someone

5 Being hugged

6 Kissing someone

7 Letting someone into my apartment

8 Sharing a bed with someone (for sleeping purposes)

9 Sharing my inner thoughts and emotions with someone

10 ----

 

When he was done he glanced up at Chou, waiting for him to say something. He probably would comment on leaving the number ten blank, it wasn't that he couldn't come up with anything, it was just that he couldn't write it down. His gaze lowered, and his hand began scratching his wrist again.

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Dull eyes glanced to the forwarded paper, following each pattern of the letters. Some were calmly written, other gave away the nervousness of Yuu. Bless the handwriting in such moments, one could tell about the emotions put within words. Once pupils met the tenth empty space, Ryuu glanced briefly up to let his gaze fall onto the paper again.

 

The male reached hand for his coffee and got up, while talking.

- From now on, we will start curing you according the list you just made. The first task listed as most possible, it's already done. So we will skip to the second.

 

Once he finished the sentence, he has moved himself with the chair right next to Yunase. With a gentle placement, he set the coffee cup on the table and sat on the chair. It wasn't he couldn't be more quick, just fast and abrupt movements could panic the other. So he took his time to let Yunase adjust to the thought someone would be sitting next to him.

 

Without saying anything else, Zhang reached for Yuu's hand that kept scratching his wrist. The patch of skin was already going crimson, a few minutes were separating the flesh from bleeding. Ryuusei gently grabbed the hand and set it on Yuu's lap.

- If you so want to scratch something, use my wrist. Stop hurting yourself, it's against the nature laws. One being survives thanks to hurting another being. A play of predators and preys. What you do now is self-destruction. In order to get out this slump, either hurt my wrist or hold the urge to hurt yours.

 

His voice never raised a pitch of note. He didn't want to make this as scolding, but as a statement which would reach the young boy.

- Now I will let go, and we reached three out of ten. - so said, he attempted to remove his hand.

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Eyes watched him, following his every movement as he moved closer towards him. His instinct told him to move away, so did his inner voice. If it hadn't for the cigarettes that muffled his voice and the fact that the psychologist had taken his time, he might have.

 

His gaze followed Ryuu's hand as it came closer towards his. His hands began trembling, his heart began to beat faster. Yuu's eyes closed and he focused on his breathing, feeling himself calming down as he did so.

 

Yunase's muscles tensed at being touched directly. He took a deep breath to relax his stiff muscles. That's when he noticed that his hand was warm. Was other people's hands this warm? Or was it just his? He didn't know.

 

It had been so long since someone had touched him, that he'd forgotten what it'd felt like. When was it? He searched his memory, but he couldn't recall anything of the sort.

 

He opened his eyes and listened to Ryuu's words. Yuu understood what he meant, but the fact that it wasn't easy to stop doing something that was more or less imprinted in your brain remand. He licked his dry lips.

 

”Who says I wanted to survive in the first place?” he asked in a low, almost emotionless voice.

 

As Ryuusei began to remove his hand Yunase's hand tightened around it, wanting to feel the other's warmth just a little longer. His hold wasn't strong, so the other could easily break it if he wanted to. He didn't know why, but he felt that his warmth was comforting.

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Surprised by the words out lips and the action on hand/in hand, Ryuu eased his gaze from the grip to the boy's face. With a lean he settled his elbow on the table to guide his cheek onto the knuckles of his other hand. He smiled ever so lightly, letting the boy cling to his hand.

 

- You are pretty contradicting. If you didn't want to survive, why holding onto me? - Chou didn't make it sound as if it was something unwanted, but at same time he questioned Yuu's mind and his feelings. It was a normal thing to have them both on different pages. In fact, the whole psychological thing was about 'the mind' and 'the heart'. In has always been.

 

- I believe you wanted help, even if since long ago, Yunase-san. Well, the help is here even though with a delay. You could have hit me or reject me, either way your hand is still disagreeing with your mind. And when the left part in the brain starts confusing the right side, it's when I step in. Many things are illogical, you don't have to let the mind rule you but you should rule the mind.

 

With a short pause he glanced down at the redden wrists of Yuu, then continued.

- For how long you've been doing this?

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Yuu avoided his gaze. He didn't know how to respond to the question. Even he, himself, didn't know why his hand had suddenly tightened around his. Though if he had to guess, it was because, deep down, he had a longing for someone to touch him.

 

His eyes moved to the hand he was holding, and carefully moved his fingers to feel his muscles as he spoke.

 

”I have been doing this for a long time....” he felt uneasy talking about it, but he still continued ”Ever since-” he got cut off by a woman's voice.

 

”Ryuusei-san, there you are, the other patient is waiting for you” she said, not noticing the boy beside him. ”You should keep a better track of the time” her voice sounding annoyed.

 

Yunase quickly let go of the hand that had given him comfort just a few seconds ago. He moved his hands to pull his hood over his head, hiding his face, before placing his hands in his pockets and retreating to depths of his mind.

 

The woman's eyes moved from Ryuusei to the other person beside him.

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The trembles dulled into Ryuu's hand and his muscles. Even if he wasn't looking down, he felt the nervousness, the timidity and the fear within the touch. The boy finally started talking and it took them so long to reach that phase when suddenly annoying high-pitched voice disturbed the moment.

 

Ryuusei-san, there you are, the other patient is waiting for you."

 

Once again to square one. The boy quickly returned in his own world and shut the doors, the windows or whatever other meaning to be used for interaction with someone else besides his own self....His own...

 

Chou glanced quickly to Yuu, the sharp gaze giving away he had something in mind.

"He interacts mostly with himself, by himself on his own. Could it be..."

 

Not wishing to ignore the woman, but she continued when Ryuu gave no sign to answer her.

"You should keep a better track of the time.”

 

- I got it, Maria. And you should learn to not disturb me, if I am not done with a patient. - Chou turned to her, letting his firm body show there was a boy next to him. The woman's face got startled.

- Ah...I am sorry. Just Kichiko-san has been waiting for you for some minutes now. You know she is anxious when alone in a room.

 

"What a paradox...", he thought as glanced over shoulder to Yuu, "..First patient is anxious in a room full of people, next is anxious in a room out of people."

 

- I got it. I will be there in a bit.

 

So said he chased off the woman that by her tone and the dress could be taken and considered as his boss. With another reach he took out, from his coat pocket, his business card.

- I have to go now, Yunase-san. This is my personal phone number as well the one beneath is the office phone number. If you need to talk to someone or you feel uncertain or under a panic attack, please do call me. It doesn't matter the hour. We will meet next Monday.

 

With a smooth raise, he took his coffee cup and left the business card near Yuu's cake plate. The male headed for his office, obviously slightly in a hurry for he just surely reached hand up to check what time has it gotten. Time indeed flew...

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Yunase got up from his chair after the other two had left. It wasn't as crowded as it had been, so getting out of the building wasn't that difficult. He passed the guard, ventured through the corridors until he found himself on the street. It wasn't that crowded for the time being, most people was probably at work or school at this hour.

 

Even though there weren't many people about he still felt the need to take alleyways and roads that people rarely used. Who knows if someone accidentally bumped into him, or if he got a panic attack and broke down..... or worse? He couldn't risk it. Not after what happened last time.

 

It took him quite a while to get home, due to the detours. He lived in a quiet neighborhood. Very few people lived there, so he didn't have to worry so much. His neighbors usually left him alone. They did try to talk to him and make him feel welcome when he had been new, but they had quickly given up when they realized that he'd rather be alone.

 

He opened the door to his apartment. The first thing he laid his eyes on was the pile of books scattered on the floor. There wasn't much else in there besides the books, the disturbing paintings that he had drawn and his computer. He also had a bed, a couch and an aquarium.

 

Even though he didn't like being around people, he didn't like being completely alone.

He used to own a cat named Tama, which he had loved very much, but sadly it had died. Yuu had thought about buying another cat but had decided against it and bought fish instead, thinking he wouldn't get so attached to them.

 

He sluggishly headed to the aquarium to watch the fish for a while. As he watched them he felt his energy drain from him. His breathing became heavier and he lost his vision.

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