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(though this is still not a bl drawing) (i apologize, for it's kinda dirty, it's because of the charcoal, can't help it, lol)

Some GazettE fan art I've been working on. I hope you enjoy it. Ruki of the GazettE by ~brohne on deviantART

Title: Crimson Spell Drama CD Summary: In order to protect his people from attacking demons, Prince Val uses a demonic sword and curses himself in the process. He leaves his kingdom to find a cure, and his search leads him to Hallwil, the person rumored to be the only one who knows how to break the curse. Hall wil agrees to help Val. .. for a price. Download Crimson Spell Drama CD: Click Here To download For download re-upload requests, post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

. .i made 2 new poems couple of hours ago, one is bl and the other is not (i don't know if you could guys see this as a bl poem, but still here it is) BARENAKED In this midst, I walk So dark, I'm soak Yet, I need to move On this nowhere road Don't know the goal Why and what for? Guess, must find a piece From these scattered debris If i find, I shout If i didn't, out of sorts Still carry this vigor To route for more Then it rains Body now in stains Colorless but spur Inside me roars Cold and freezing Chilly and shaking I can't take it But need to bear it As I look, I see Those ravish eyes, I fear Wish I vanish And rush to my dear Wall starts to break Dangerous hands, rake Stripping this cover Can't stand this anymore "Where are you? Please help me, I need you!" I cried and moan "Please stop it! I beg you, It's my dear's own" But within, it reaches It's too late, I guess This last breath, must make BARENAKED feeling, to you, I confess

wah i love ur tatoo....and you so cute.. and this is mine..i like that winter cloth hehehe

I hate bitches that talk about crap all the time! So freaking annoying. They need to just jump off a cliff and die. The world will be better off without them. Especially since there are so many in the world... ugh. One day they will all get what's coming to them... :cuteonion43:

I wanna complain about the weather 'cause it was so hot and my lips were cracking from the inside of my mouth! I wanna complain about my toothache which bothered me so much. I'm okay now after brushing my teeth twice, gargling and taking a pain reliever. I also wanna complain about someone who caused me some mental stench yesterday or was it the other day? gosh, the ignorance is appalling!

BexBoy GOLD 2010/02 Mangaka: Homerun Ken, Oyamada Ami, Ike Reibun, Haruka Minami, Tamaquis Wren, Shinobu Aion, Kuku Hayate, Sakuragi Ayan, Chitose Piyoko, Haruko Moto, Nanase Kai, Mitsuaki Asou & Narise Konohara, Kanbe Akira, Modoru Motoni, CJ Michalski. Download BexBoy GOLD 2010/02 Here

you know, that manga you almost or did cry when you finished reading it :msn_red_fox 2 mine was a manga called girl friends, by morinaga milk, it's not yaoi, it's yuri, and i just LOVE IT! :7yoyo10: when i got to the half of it i got kinda bored and statred reading other stuff but oneday when i was looking up my old mangas i noticed the folder and thought:"hey, i miss that manga" and i then when i got to the last chapter i felt like reading more, so i opened mangafox and watched it to the end. and then i cried so bad :leaf7: and i searched for mangas by morinaga milk, but nothing realy compared that manga, it was just .. great ! it contains 35 chapters! and there was realy a lot of misunderstanding and stuff, and the hot stuff came REALY late, but if it came early, i would'nt have watched it 'til the end, so thnx moringaga-sensei .. or milk-sensei or whatever .. anyways, thnx for making the best manga EVER ! :Red_fox7: oh i kinda missed it ..*reads it again* so the question is: "what's that manga that REALY affected you? and by who was it?"

Ok, guys, just drool over it... The art is called Holyland (by ecchi-mia)

Ok straight to the point: i wanna have Usami and Sebastian and of course Asami as one of my inventory collection badly. But i currently have 2000+ points only at time. In order to get point i noticed that posting/starting a thread will give us point. But how long/ how many post should i post till i'll reach 100,000 points to get Sebastian/Usami/ in my inventory. So dont you think that we should have a weekly allowance? or can we get an interest while we save money in bank??

Hi everybody ♥ :hamtaro-005 (4): My name is Clémentine, I'm seventeen. I live in France (in the north), so, sorry for the mistakes, because english isn't my mother tongue I'm a fan of manga, and yaoi especially ^^

Oh my! There were a lot of mangas that affected me! The sad ones made me cry, and made me depressed for so much time sometimes... and the very hot and good ones, made me obsessed

Oh I need money. I already got the boy covered. I also got a girl. Heheh!

. .eheeeem :leaf5: . .besides form my family (obviously) . .i just want to share to everyone that there were people i totally admire in this forum, it's because of their works and personalities . .yojichan (i treat yojichan as a senpai ) and amander123(amander-sama) . .they were my inspiration on my literary works :cuteonion57: ( i also want to thank them for inspiring me alot) :leaf12: :leaf3:

. and here's the other not bl one EMPTY From dust to clay Molded and lay From his looks Oh, it's cooked! Bright stones were embedded In a circle, oh, it's head Stick with two holes Air to passes Dug a hole Words to install Red thing so licky Oh, for tasty But deaf is still Sounds must steal Dug another hole Left and right for more Lighted the coals Burn to colors Anyway it goes It still has roles Red stone embedded In clay must knitted Inside this case Is a life to amaze Then, laid on floor Opened the door Magic words, blew It livens, oh, it's true Delivers to earth Actions must oath A world to own Precious thing to owe Suddenly, it felt A missing piece left "What is this? Tell me, please!" 'Cause in this case Where red stone lays So cold and steady Is a feeling of EMPTY

A cute cow Now mine... made after the same tutorial

Here's Chapter 2 for all who enjoyed this fic! Chapter 2: Threats and Bad News "So it's true then?" Takumi jumped when he heard someone come up from behind him. He had been twirling his engagement ring completely unaware of his audience. "Oh Takabayashi-kun." It had been a week since Gii had proposed to him and during that time the two had spent Golden week with their parents before returning to school. Takumi hadn't seen Gii since the proposal so he was highly missing his fiance. Takabayashi smiled. "Gii popped the question didn't he?" he sat next to the black-haired teen eager for all the details. Takumi only nodded as he continued to look at his ring. How could something so small and simple seem so important to him? He didn't know but he would treasure it no matter what. "It's a little overwhelming I admit and I know we're a little young to be even thinking of marriage but." Takabayashi chuckled. "Well think of it this way Hayama; with that ring your relationship with Gii is secured and no one will be able to steal him from you." He leaned back against his seat. Michio and I haven't gotten that far yet and I don't know if we even will. But I do know I can easily say I'm happy for you." Takumi nodded his head in thanks before returning his attention to his ring. "A lot of people have been giving me dirty looks ever since we came back from break. I know a lot of people aren't too thrilled about my relationship with Gii but I'm still afraid I'm giving him a bad name." Takabayashi gave the other a look. "After everything you went through how can you keep doubting yourself. Gii loves you and he always will. I don't ever want to hear you say otherwise. And if someone starts anything you let me or Akaike know okay? okay?" Takumi only nodded as he stood up. "Well I better get going I promised Gii I would meet him after class. he said he had a surprise for me." Takabayashi smiled. "Okay I'll see you soon." Takumi watched as Takabayashi walked away. He looked at his watch to see he still had an hour before he was to meet with Gii. To pass the time Takumi headed towards the music room. It would only be a couple of days before it was torn down and he wanted to spend as much time as he could there. Before he reached the building he was stopped by one of the other students. "You think you're all high and mighty don't you Hayama-senpai? Just because you're dating Gii-senpai." a brown haired 2nd year entered Takumi's personal space. Seconds later another student came up from behind him. "You know I think he's just using Gii-senpai. Hayama-senpai doesn't belong with the rest of us." Takumi stepped back. "It's no business of yours." he kept his hand shoved in his pocket not wanting them to see his ring. These guys were built bigger than he was and didn't know what they were capable of. "It is too our business whether you like it or not. You can't hog Gii-senpai all to yourself you know. We don't care if you think you're dating him. Gii-senpai is ours and you better stay away from him." responded the third.. He shoved Takumi against the wall and got right into his face. "Or I'll make you regret even enrolling in Shidou." with a quick shove he and the others walked off. Takumi stood there frozen for several moments. All though they were underclassmen compared to him they were bigger and tougher looking. He hated to admit it but they had scared him. As he wrapped his arms around himself he held back a wince as he touched his shoulder. It was tender no doubt a bruise in the making. Deciding to keep it himself Takumi entered the music room now in hopes to avoid anymore unwanted encounters. "You asked him didn't you?" Gii turned to look at his best friend with the goofiest grin he has ever worn. "Hai." Akaike leaned against the door frame of the empty classroom. "And judging by the look on your face he said yes." He folded his arms in front of his chest. "I wonder what your parents are going to say about all this." The smile on Gii's face faded and he turned to face Akaike. "What do you mean by that exactly?" Akaike looked down at Gii. "You're expected to run your father's company in a few years. Won't your parents expect you to marry someone with a background more like your own?" Gii stood up and walked up to Akaike. "Are you saying Takumi's not good enough to marry me?" Before he could get an answer from his friend Gii's cell vibrated in his pocket playing an unfamiliar ringtone. He flipped it open 'Moshi moshi? Uh Oto-sama Hai?" "Saki I have already spoken with your school. You are to leave a week from tomorrow to return home." Gii looked at his phone confused. "Gomen Oto-sama but may I ask the reason behind the need for my return to America?" "Why to meet your fiance of course." Gii dropped the phone only to have Akaike catch it. Akaike placed the phone next to his ear. "Gomen Saki-sama. Gii seems to be in shock right now." "He shouldn't be. We already discussed this over his break for Golden week. He mentioned thoughts of marriage. His mother and I have taken this into consideration. We believe Saki should wait until he's out of high school but we figured he would like to get to know her better before the wedding." Akaike looked at the phone confused. "'Her' you mean you have already chosen Gii's bride?" Gii's head shot up at the question. "Put the phone on speaker Akaike". Once the two of them could hear him Gii spoke, "Oto-sama I mentioned marriage because I already have someone in mind." "I'm sorry Giichi but that's not possible. You're mother and I were planning to wait until you finished high school to tell you but I suppose now is a good time as any. The arrangements for your marriage to Keisu Yuko have already been made." "Yuko-chan?" Akaike looked at Gii, "You know her?" "Yuko was my childhood friend in America. We used to joke around about getting married but we never agreed on actually going through with it." Gii explained. "This is a fine match Giichi. You are to wed after the two of you finish high school on your grandfather's birthday." "But Oto-sama what does Yuko -chan have to say about this?" Gii asked wondering if she even knew about the arrangement. "Yuko does not. She and you will meet for dinner when you return here. We will inform her then." Gii still didn't want to accept it. "But Oto-sama-" "We are finished Giichi. I will see you in a week. Take care of him for now Akaike-san." "I will Saki-sama sayonara." Akaike ended the call and caught Gii before he lost all feeling in his legs. "You didn't know about this at all did you?" Gii was speechless. He didn't know what to do now. "How could this happen? What am I going to tell Takumi?" Akaike was at a lost for words himself. Gii's phone did the talking for them as Takumi's ringtone filled the empty classroom. Knowing Gii was too shaken up to answer Akaike answered. "Moshi moshi Hayama. Gomen Gii's indisposed right now." "Oh I was just wondering if he still he wanted to meet me at the music room. He said he had a surprise for me or something." Takumi answered. He was still shaken up from the earlier encounter but he tried his best to keep it out of his tone. Gii took the phone. "Takumi I need you to do me a favor." "What is it Gii?" Takumi asked highly worried at the tone in his fiance's voice. "I need you to come with me back to America in a week."

Title : Hatsu-koi, First Love Year: 2007 Country : Japan Language : Japanese Subtitle(s) : English Genre : Drama | Romance | Crime | Gay Themed Plot/Synopsis: Tadashi has fallen in love with his classmate, Kota, and doesn't dare to tell anyone. This destroys all hope he ever had of getting together with Kota. Thoroughly depressed, Tadashi meets a gay couple on the train. Hiroki and Shinji are fascinating... In Hatsu-Koi, director Imaizumi Koichi tells a story about coming of age, coming out and a gay marriage that is sprinkled with both love and comedy, at the centre of which is a teenager who doesn't yet know what he wants. Watch Hatsu-koi BL Movie Online: Hatsu-koi BL Movie Download Hatsu-koi BL Movie: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Join the files with HJSplit For download re-upload requests, post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

Alternative Names: みらくるのーとん Company: Tennenouji Release Date: 26.12.06 Platform: PC Genre: 18+ BL, romance, PWP Summary: PWP very effectively sums this up. How to write the summary when there ain’t even a substantial plot or anything? *sigh* Well from the dredges of what little story there is in this game, the synopsis would go like this: Protagonist Ogata Akira finds a magical living notebook that can grant any wish he writes in it. But there’s a catch: only horny wishes work. Download Links (DepositFiles): Part 1 Part 2 Patch *Uploaded by request For download re-upload requests, post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

Mirage of Blaze Anime Alternative title: Honoo no Mirage (Japanese) Мираж огня (Russian) Призрачное пламя (Russian) 炎の蜃気楼[ミラージュ] (Japanese) Genres: drama, romance, supernatural Themes: bishounen, historical, yaoi Number of episodes: 13 Opening Theme: "Blaze 2002" by Kathy Shower "Blaze 2002" by Mai Yamane Ending Theme: "Tears of Indigo" by Mai Yamane Type: TV Show Format: AVI File Size: 138-152 MB Watch Mirage of Blaze Anime Online: Mirage of Blaze Download Mirage of Blaze Anime: Ep 1 Ep 2 Ep 3 Ep 4 Ep 5 Ep 6 Ep 7 Ep 8 Ep 9 Ep 10 Ep 11 Ep 12 Ep 13 Added: OVA 1 OVA 2 OVA 3 LINK TO COMPLETE FOLDER. Watch Mirage of Blaze OVAs 1-3 Online (HD Quality): Mirage of Blaze OVAs 1-3 Online For download re-upload requests, post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

TITLE: 15, 15: The Movie COUNTRY: Singapore DIRECTOR: Royston Tan PLOT: The film charts the misadventures of five teenagers on the fringe of Singaporean society. Abandoned by the system, they seek answers to their aimless existence among the misfits and outsiders of Singapore's underclass. Acted by real street kids, it presents a gritty side of modern-day Singapore life that many never knew existed. Links (MF): Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 English Subs

Sekaiichi Hatsukoi OST Genres: Comedy, Romance, Shounen Ai Character/Voice Actor : Nakamura Yuuichi as Hitoru Yoshiyuki Kondo Takeshi as Onidera Ritsu Konishi Katsuyuki as Takano Masamune Sekai ichii Hatsukoi Opening Sekai ichii Hatsukoi Ending

Hey! I was curious where do you guys hide your yaoi materials from your family? I keep the yaoi mangas where I keep all the other mags (like music mags) and newspapers and as I have a big number I think they are pretty hard to find there. However my mom it's pretty curious and I have the impression she suspects there is something hidden there, so maybe I should change the place... About those that I downloaded, they are safe in my notebook as it is almost always with me

Here is some links for some of the Totally Capivated dj's. I hope everyone enjoys them! There is another and I may upload it later, If someone doesn't beat me to it. Totally Spying on Them Updated link How to Live With A Beast Updated link For download re-upload requests, post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

Dash! OVA Title: DASH!; ダッシュ! Original Creator: Natsume Isaku Genre: comedy, romance, school life, yaoi Number of Eisodes: 1 Format: avi Size: 312 MB Summary: Akimoto has just started his high school career at Miya High and is burning with enthusiasm. Not because he's in the springtime of his youth, or because he has his eyes set on some beautiful upperclassmen; rather, Akimoto is overjoyed to finally be able to meet his long time Judo idol Saitou! Akimoto has watched Saitou ever since his middle school days, but the real Saitou isn't matching up to the Saitou of Akimito's dreams. Foul mouthed, with a bad attitude and superiority complex, Saitou decided to use Akimoto's admiration against him and turn him into his slave. But Saitou has a deep, dark secret that he is hiding from his kouhai (junior). Will Akimoto still look up to Saitou when it is revealed? Join Akimoto, Saitou and the rest of the Miya Judo team in this charming tale of high school love between sempai (senior) and kouhai. Note: Actually this is not really an anime, but a manga animation. Download Dash! OVA: Sendspace link Gigasize link Watch Dash! OVA Online (HD Quality): Dash! OVA Online For download re-upload requests, post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

Title: Koi to wa Yobenai Associated Names: You Can't Call it Love, 恋とは呼べない, Koi towa Yobenai, Koi toha Yobenai Author: Eda Yuuri Artist: Machiya Hatoko Genre: Yaoi Release Year: 2010 Volume(s): 1 Volume (ongoing) Mediafire Koi to wa Yobenai Manga Ch 1 Ch 2-3 Ch 4-5 Ch 6 + Extras For download re-upload requests, post here so the staff notices them. Note: Please only ask for re-upload if none of the download links work after checking ALL the pages of the thread. Thanks! YO Staff

Japanese Title: CIEL第11月号全本 Total Size: 432 MB (Divided in 3 parts: 174 MB, 176 MB and 80 MB aprox) Quality: Very High Images: JPG Packed as: .rar Type: raw Mediafire Links: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

I was wonderin if you would ever think about putting a chat room on the site....like so it would be easier for a bunch us to talk together and chat :hamtaro-005 (6):

Synopsis: Noboru seems to have rotten luck at school when it comes to girls, because they all have eyes for only Yuuki – the resident Prince Charming. Tall, dark, rich and handsome Yuuki seems to be the exact opposite of the poor, short and not very manly, Noboru. Because Noboru is from a poor family, he had to work extra hard just to get into this prestigious Seihou Academy – which is mainly reserved for the rich and elites of the society. Before admittance, it was a dream of Noburo to hook up with one of the rich girls at Seihou Academy, but his plans seems to have gone awry, specially when all the girls seems to not pay him much attention and dotes on Yuuki the most. But for some reason, why does this drop-dead, gorgeous hunk, Yuuki, seem to want to get close to him??? Author : Yamato Nase Genre : Comedy,School Life,Yaoi I recommended to you all to read this..omgee...i totally fall in love with this manga and the storyline is good...

Don't you also have firefox? Cause it can install the plugin very easily and then you can enter the chat using Opera

(A/N) This chapter is rated M for violence and noncon. Ryuu “I said I was sorry.” I didn’t know what else to do. Naoki had me backed against the bedroom wall. I flinched yelping, as his hand slammed into the wall next to my head. He’d already hit me twice and I was terrified he was going to continue to hit me unless I got him calmed down. “You are sorry? That’s all you can say! Sorry! You are such a fucking waste of my time.” A whimper escaped as he grabbed me by the hair dragging me over to the bed. “You wouldn’t even have a band if it wasn’t for me. You can’t sing, you can barely play guitar and you think you deserve to be the center of attention just because of who you are. Don’t fucking kid yourself. If your family didn’t have money you would be nothing but a cheap slut. You are a cheap slut and I’m going to fuck you like the slut you are.” I landed on my back and was instantly hit, the blow leaving me reeling. I struggled to move, to stop him, but he just hit me repeatedly until I quit fighting him. I could taste blood and feel it running down the back of my throat, gagging me. He was ripping my clothes off and I couldn’t do anything but lay there sobbing. “Na-Naoki pl-please stop.” “Shut up!” I cried out as he wrenched my arm forcing me to turn over. I tried to push myself up off the bed, to get away from him. A hand between my shoulder blades forced me back down and held me there even as I thrashed. He was too heavy for me to move him. The large hand moved from my back to my hair, his grip tight enough to bring new tears to my eyes. I felt him lean down over me, his breath hot on my cheek. He pulled my hips back until I was bent over the side of the bed, my legs pinned. “I want to hear just how sorry you are.” I screamed as he shoved forward, completely penetrating me with one violent jerk, the abrupt stabbing pain almost too much for me to take. Why was he doing this? Cruel fingers tightened in my hair dragging my head up. “Say it, say how sorry you are.” “I-I’m so-sorry.” I could barely breathe for the sobs. I couldn’t stop the scream as he pulled back only to slam forward again. Kenta I bolted up in the bed, the scream still echoing around me. My heart was hammering so hard it felt like it was going to jump out of my chest. Ryuu was flailing beside me, the soft cries scaring the shit out of me. A nightmare? Tossing back the covers I flipped on the light and grabbed him, almost getting hit in the face. He was crying, tears streaming down his face, but his eyes were still closed. “Ryuu! Ryuu! Wake up!” I shook him slightly feeling him stiffen his eyelids fluttering. There was no recognition in them as he stared at me and for a moment I was afraid he was going to completely freak out on me. I’d never seen that kind of raw fear in his eyes and it made me feel completely helpless. “Ito!” He blinked at me and suddenly started sobbing. Fuck! What was wrong with him? I pulled him close trying my best to comfort him. “Hey, hey I’m here. It’s alright. You are okay.” He was shaking, the sobs making his whole body shudder. It took several minutes but I finally got him calmed down. He wouldn’t look at me as I gently wiped the tears off his face. “Ryuu . . . what’s wrong?” He just shook his head and buried himself against me, his arms wrapped around my waist. I ran my fingers through the messy hair trying to calm him as much as myself. I held him like that until I realized he’d fallen back asleep. Carefully laying him back down I watched him sleep. What the hell kind of dream had he been having? Whatever it was it had scared the shit out of him. Reaching over I shut off the light and lay back down. I’d call Sora in the morning and see if he knew anything. *** “I’m sorry Kenta, but if he hasn’t said anything I really don’t feel comfortable being the one to tell you.” Sora and I were in the kitchen. He had come over after I’d called him that morning and was helping me make Ryuu breakfast. Ryuu was still in bed where I’d left him a bit ago. “He’s had nightmares like this for a while now. He usually calls me and I come over and make him breakfast. It seems to calm him down. Just don’t expect him to be his usual self today. When they are this bad he can get really depressed.” I nodded as I set the food out on the plate. “He scared the shit out of me. But he wouldn’t tell me anything.” “Just give it some time. Um . . .” He turned to look at me. “Honestly Kenta, you are the first relationship he’s had in a while. His crush on Akira was just that and he knew it.” “Yeah.” “Don’t let it get to you Kenta. Ryuu knew Akira was never going to return his feelings. He felt safe liking Akira and Akira let him be himself.” “How do you know all this?” “I’ve known Ryuu since high school and . . . we’ve been through a lot together. A whole lot.” Sora’s voice dropped and I looked over hearing him sigh. “Just . . . treat him good Kenta. He’s had people in his past that didn’t treat him like they should have.” I nodded. I didn’t understand how anyone could want to hurt him. Sure I smacked him from time to time, but that was different. I never did it to hurt him. Sometimes he just needed to calm down and it was the best way to get his attention. Kind of like a kid. But I’d never hit him out of anger or to hurt him and I never would. Picking up the tray, I headed into the bedroom, Sora’s soft footsteps just behind me. Ryuu was still curled up in the bed, his eyes red and glassy. Fuck. How could he look sexy even like that? Shit, what the hell was I thinking? Ryuu needed comfort not a horny idiot. “Hey, Sora and I made you breakfast.” I kept my voice low and soft and was rewarded with a ghost of a smile. “Thanks.” His voice was a bit rough and I wondered if I should call Akira and Hasu and cancel practice. I glanced back at Sora but he was looking at Ryuu. “Ryuu, maybe we should cancel practice for today.” “No! No . . . I need-I need to . . . it helps.” Setting the tray down on the nightstand I sat on the bed. “Why don’t you eat breakfast and get ready to go. I’ll take you to Sannomiya so you can go shopping.” He looked up at me and I had no idea how to read the expression on his face. It was like looking at one of those homeless kids when I’d show up with food and money, they expected it to get snatched right back. “Are . . . are you sure? You hate shopping.” “Yeah I’m fucking sure. I’ll even go get Tatsuya for you.” His smile wasn’t quite as bright as normal but it was getting there. He nodded and started eating. I got up and went to go find him some clothes. I didn’t want him wearing anything too flashy, though that might be a challenge looking at his clothes. He dressed like he was going to a photo shoot every day. Even his pajama pants were name brand. By the time I found something suitable that I thought he would actually wear he was done with breakfast and in the shower. Sora smiled at me as he gathered up the tray. “Good thinking Kenta. I’ll call you later this afternoon. If you can, keep him out as long as possible. We can skip practice for today.”

Your poems are so cool! Especially the BL one! :7yoyo10:

lol...lol -i want to complain..my lousy cousin finally going back to my house.my pay day is coming soon so they want me to treat them again =_=" -My stupid boss yelling me again.and i bored about him.. -my boss and my friend also complain about my card design but i dont care anymore....i do it with my full heart...

. . i really can't explain through my ordinary words, but i'll tell you, a part of my mind and heart says i do understood it . .somehow portrays untrue but still loving, i just felt it all . .i like this

:cuteonion57: @jenovaVII, i liked your comments, it overwhelms me cause i knew, you felt it, @misakixusagi, for seeing it as different from poems you've read, pours my heart with appreciation @yojichan, your advices reached my heart, i'll be following these to improve more, my gratitude is yours senpai @yuki, i supah appreciated for liking it @amander-sama, i'm glad that you loved and felt it, and aside from it, you're amazed by this poem, thanks to your works and to you as well . .i don't know how you guys interpret this, but what's important to me, is the different perspective you saw and felt while reading this . .i don't know when will be the next creation after this, 'cause i can only wrote if i'm floating through my emotions, without it, i can't THANKS GUYS! :leaf3:

I always like to read poems out loud, so that's what I did with this one too. You know what, as I was reading it I felt I was there - wherever it is that the subject is - and that I was living through your words. The way you wrote your sentences really takes the reader to the location the poem occurs. At least that's what happened to me. And it was beautiful. Not even talking about the simple but knife cutting effect your vocabulary has. It's awesome to be able to write like that. It's one of the rare times I can't choose a part I like best because, in all my seriousness, I like whole damn thing. I bow to you. Love it to bits. More, please?! :Red_fox:

I talk while pouting which amuses my partner A LOT. I would utter expressions like nyaah, myuuu, gyuuu, nyaarrr when i'm bored and annoyed. I love dinky cheap plastic and rubber jewelry. I don't like gold jewelry 'cause it's so adult-like. I clap like a kid when I'm happy and actually say "yey" on cue. I don't like 'adult' candies like licorice and mint. Whenever I'm in the mall or any public place, I am easily distracted by food.

me also absent minded, but that what my friends complaint about, i can turn around and forget what i doing look like we all got bad neighbors around us, maybe we should live together and that will be a peaceful neighborhood:msn_red_fox 3

Mines is Daisuke Watanabe(Takumi Kun series) and Hidenori Tokuyama from "Ai no kotodama". They're both GORGEOUS! O_O (oh btw, new to the site, and I'm surprised no one mentioned Ai no Kotodama yet. Or I missed a post? That's a good BL movie too) Daisuke Tokuyama

Kenta “Wh-what? Ryuu you can’t . . . you can’t be serious.” Why the fucking hell would he want me after what I’d done? I’d promised myself years ago that if I was ever lucky enough to find someone I would never treat them the way I’d seen my family treated. Yet, Ryuu and I were only hours into . . . whatever this was and I’d already hurt him. “I am serious. Very serious.” His eyes were shimmering as he looked at me. How could anyone look that good after crying? His cheeks were flushed, his hair a mess, his eyes holding too much emotion in them. I was losing myself. Totally and completely. “Ryuu, I-“ He kissed me again and I was shocked at the need in it. I could taste his tears, the slight saltiness mixing with the almost sweet flavor of him. How could something so simple make me feel like I was falling? A lost breathless sensation, it reminded me of when I rode my motorcycle hard and fast, leaving me high and shivering. This was so much better. So fucking much better. Before I knew it I had reached out, one hand in his hair, the other on his hip. I could care less that my ribs were screaming at me. I didn’t want to let him go. He pulled back just enough so that we could breathe, our lips still touching. The feather light touch making my lips tingle even more. Holy hell he was a good kisser. I slid my hand through his hair, my eyes locked on his wishing desperately I knew what to do. “Is that really what you want? You want me . . .” “I’ve wanted you since the first moment I saw you.” His low husky voice sent a chill down my spine. I let out a slow breath, not sure what to say. I’d never dated anyone. I’d messed around with a few girls, but Ryuu was so-so different from any relationship I’d ever had. The thought of being able to call him my boyfriend, my lover, was something that caused a weird fluttering sensation in my stomach. I played with a stand of the silky hair, not quite able to meet his eyes. This was going to kill me. “Really? Cause I seem to remember being laid up in the hospital the first time I met you. Had to look like shit.” “It wasn’t your looks that made me want you Kenta, though you were incredibly hot in that hospital gown. But that’s not the point. You’d risked your life for Reiko. All I saw was someone who was brave and willing to do anything for their friends. I saw the person who was willing to help someone even if they got hurt in the process, someone who was trustworthy and kind.” I nearly snorted at that, but looking at him I could see he believed every word of it. It made me feel sick to know I was going to prove him wrong. “I just helped her cause I was scared she’d hurt herself otherwise.” He smiled at me. “See. You are exactly like I said.” I tugged on the piece of hair. “Shut it. Are you trying to embarrass me or something?” He giggled at that and reaching up took my hand out of his hair. Holding it he brought it to his lips and kissed each of my bruised knuckles, the soft touches sending tingles racing up my arm. Why was he like this with me? It was confusing as hell. He should be fucking pissed as hell at me and yelling at me, not treating me like I mattered. “Ryuu . . .” “I never get tired of hearing you say my name.” He leaned back up until our lips were almost touching his breath warm. “I just love listening to you talk.” I leaned back giving him a look that I hope let him know how fucking confused I was. “You really are weird. That doesn’t say a fucking lot about me though.” He busted out laughing and sat back patting my leg. “I guess not. Come on. We are taking you to a clinic. You can give me your answer later.” “Um, no you aren’t. All they are going to do is tell me to wrap up, take some meds and not move around a lot. Besides I already know my answer.” The look in his eyes nearly broke me right there. Fuck. “Ryuu I can’t.” Ryuu Even as much as I’d tried to prepare myself for it, it still hurt like hell. I’d asked on a whim, but it was too much too soon. I could tell. Taking a deep breath I swallowed, forcing down the searing pain in my chest. I smiled and got to my feet. “Can’t go to the clinic? Don’t be silly. I’ll pay for it.” “Ryuu, that isn’t what I meant.” I looked down into those deep unfathomable eyes and slowly nodded feeling the smile failing. “I understand. Got to keep work and . . . pleasure separate.” I nodded turning away before he could say anything. “You are still going to the clinic, don’t make me get Jiro.” “You wouldn’t.” “Don’t push me.” I glanced back at him and could see the hesitancy in his eyes. I wondered if it was about going to the clinic or something else. Opening the door I headed back down the hall. I felt heavy and listless, but did my best to put on a happy, cheerful face. At least he wasn’t mad at me. Yet. He’d probably be mad once we got to the clinic. “Jiro-” “I’m fucking coming!” I smiled at that even though it felt strained. I could see Sora out of the corner of my eye, watching me. “We are going to the clinic.” Slipping my shoes on, I didn’t look up. I would probably just go home after making sure Kenta was alright. I didn’t really want to be around anyone right now. My back was starting to hurt from getting tossed on the floor earlier and a soak in the tub sounded nice. Would have been even nicer if Kenta would join me, but I’d ruined that by being to needy. Ruined everything. *** “Ryuu, you are in the wrong key.” Akira’s voice snapped me out of the daze I’d been in. I looked down at the sheet music and realized he was right. “Oh, sorry. Um . . . care if we take a break?” “No, we haven’t had one in a while.” I sat on my stool staring at the music, the subtle sounds of everyone leaving the studio not even really registering. Two weeks. It had been two weeks already. It felt like years. I’d seen Kenta three times since that day at Akira’s apartment. Apparently he was busy with work. Hayate had come with me on a couple of press conferences and a signing giving some excuse for Kenta each time. It felt like he was avoiding me. I felt lost without his quiet somber presence around, his gruff no nonsense demeanor. Was I really that used to having him around? “Are you getting sick Ryuu?” Sora was standing over me. I hadn’t even noticed him. “Oh. No. I’m fine.” “You don’t look good. You’ve got dark circles under your eyes and you are a lot paler than usual.” “Gee thanks.” “I’m serious Ryuu, even your singing is off. We haven’t been able to lay a decent track in days. Maybe you should go to the doctor.” I shook my head. “No, I think I’m just tired. I’ve not been sleeping well.” “Nightmares again? You know you can always call me or even just come over.” “No, that’s not it. I just . . . I don’t know.” I shrugged. “Alright, just take care of yourself Ryuu. If you need anything you just call me. I think we need to stop for today anyway.” They all left not too long after that. I wandered around the empty apartment. There wasn’t anything I wanted to watch on TV and trying to compose right now would be useless. I finally ended up lying on my bed staring out at the slowly darkening sky.

hmmm theres alot XD Itachi Sasuke Madara Deidara Naruto Sai Neji Utakata

Kenta The tingling sensation running through me had nothing to do with the slight buzz I’d been experiencing from the alcohol. Ryuu was too damn pretty looking at me with those soft grey eyes. He wasn’t just pretty, he was downright fucking hot. There weren’t a lot of girls who looked as good as he did. Especially with the way he was looking at me right now, those impossible grey eyes staring at me. He was leaning up against me, the heat from his body soaking through my pants and t-shirt. It was still a shock though when those soft full lips pressed against my own. He tasted like the wine we’d had with dinner, sweet yet tart. It kind of fit him. I slowly pulled back after a moment, confused as hell. “Um . . . I know you like being all affectionate and stuff, but isn’t that going a bit far?” Ryuu shook his head and licked his lips, grinning at me. “Mm, no I don’t think so. I’ve wanted to do that for ages.” “Ryuu you’ve-“ He kissed me again and I was shocked to find myself getting lost in the sensation. I’d never been kissed like this, not with this kind of . . . passion, I guess was the right word. It was like being gently assaulted until all that existed was the feel of supple lips on my own. I’d been kissed before, but it hadn’t been anything like this. It hadn’t made me feel light headed and dizzy, my whole body tingling like crazy. “Fuck.” Was all I could manage once he pulled back and he giggled. “You taste good, but you have a dirty mouth.” I smirked, “You like my dirty mouth.” “Yes, yes I do. But that’s not the only thing I like.” “I think you are drunk.” It was time to end this before it got out of hand. “No I’m not!” “Yeah you are.” I got to my feet, pulling him up. This was getting a bit too awkward for the moment. It was one thing to have him being all clingy and stuff, but this was something entirely different and I needed a bit to sort out just what the fuck was going on. It wasn’t like Ryuu wasn’t known for randomly kissing people. He’d done it to Akira often enough. “You are upset with me.” Ryuu flashed me a look before moving a few steps away. “No.” I actually didn’t know what I was. I grabbed his arm as he stumbled. “Let’s get you to bed.” “I’m not tired.” He was pouting now. I really hated it when he pouted. “It’s two in the morning. You are tired and you are drunk. Don’t forget you are going on that show tomorrow. ” “Oh . . . oh! Yeah . . . “ He glanced sideways at me and I was shocked at how the look affected me. Holy hell, a look should not be able to make me feel like that. Deciding it was best to ignore it, I tugged on his arm pulling him around the coffee table. “Come on. Bed time.” He tried to pull away from me starting to complain. On a whim I yanked him toward me and picked him up. He made the cutest noise, something between a squeak and a yelp, staring at me with wide eyes. “Shut up, not like I haven’t carried you before. Don’t need you falling and bashing your head on something.” His answer was to wrap his arms around my neck. I had to be fucking nuts, encouraging this. Nakamara was going to fire me. I kicked the door to his room open and went to set him on the bed. He wouldn’t let go. “Ryuu . . .” “I don’t want you to leave.” “Ryuu, I need to go home. This isn’t-“ “You don’t like me.” I frowned watching him as he finally let go, sitting back. His voice was soft, almost defeated sounding. “Reiko was right.” “Reiko is smart, but she’s not always right.” I let it go at that. “Besides, you are drunk and just being overly friendly, though that’s pretty fucking normal for you.” He shook his head forcefully. “No! No . . . “ His voice lowered as he shifted back on the bed, drawing up slender legs. “I’m not being a slut.” I frowned. Where the hell had that come from? “No one said you were a slut.” “You must think I am . . . coming on to you like I did. That’s why you pushed me away.” I sighed and sat down on the bed next to him. “Just go to sleep Ryuu, you are drunk and tired and you aren’t making a lot of sense. Everyone knows you are touchy feely, so it’s no big deal.” “That’s not fair Kenta.” The bed dipped as he moved around. “That’s like saying you are bad-tempered and offensive.” “I am.” I chuckled and started to get up only to have a pair of arms suddenly wrapped around me. “Please don’t leave.” I sighed feeling him lay his head against my back. “I won’t leave until you go to sleep.” Feather soft lips brushed my ear sending a rush of heat through me. “Thank you.” *** I jerked awake and looked around. I was still sitting up in the chair next to Ryuu’s bed. Shifting around I winced, my leg was asleep and there was a crick in my neck. Looking over at the bed I could just make out the dark lump that was the singer. He’d gone to sleep fairly quickly after his shower. The weirdo had asked if I wanted to join him. I figured it was the alcohol talking. Though in the back of my mind somewhere where I didn’t really want to acknowledge it, I wished it wasn’t. It was a bit odd that those thoughts kept popping up more and more when it came to the singer. Sitting awake watching him sleep was giving me entirely too fucking much time to think and I didn’t like where my thoughts were going. They kept going back to the kiss. I realized I was touching my lips and put my hand in my lap. That didn’t seem to be a good place either. Fucking hell. Ryuu was my boss! And a guy. A fucking hot guy, but a guy. Fuck. Getting up I headed into the bathroom. It was almost six anyway and I needed a shower. I could wear a pair of Ryuu’s jeans for work. We were close enough to the same size. Stripping I glared, better make it a cold shower. So, I’m a fucking baby. I couldn’t take the cold shower and finally turned it as hot as I could stand. Ryuu had the most awesome shower. The best thing about it was that I didn’t have to share it with the entire floor like at home. Besides that it was fucking huge. You could swim in the tub and the shower could fit six people in it easily. I used his fruity smelling shampoo to wash my hair only to realize I was grinning at the thought of smelling like him. Now that was just fucking weird. He always smelled so good. Me, I usually just smelled like my deodorant. Or sweat. Sometimes blood. A sudden rush of cold air startled me and I looked around only to see Ryuu grinning sleepy eyed at me as he stepped into the shower behind me. “Fucking hell.” “Good morning to you too.”

Kenta “No more questions please.” I moved the reporter back, not bothering to be gentle about it. They were supposed to have left him alone after the press conference but everyone wanted to know about Akira. “It’s alright Kenta.” Ryuu’s soft voice was suddenly in my ear. “I’ve got this.” I nodded slowly and stepped back slightly so he could get around me. I kept within arms reach glaring at any of the leeches that got to close. I recognized a few of the regulars, they did me too. I got a few glares back but most were too interested in what Ryuu was saying. “Akira is doing just fine and is resting after filming our new PV. His health has improved and we expect to be able to do another tour in a few months along with the release of the PV.” Ryuu ignored any questions that asked what exactly was wrong with Akira. The official stance was fatigue, but the rumors were flying like they always did. Ryuu handled it all very well and after answering a couple more questions stepped back, my signal that he was done. Waving off the reporters, I led Ryuu back down the hall to the side stairs. I always had at least three routes we could take. His phone was already going off, the sound echoing in the stairwell. “Hey Tatsuya! Yeah. You got it set up? Awesome! I’ll see you then.” Ryuu hummed as I heard the phone snap shut. If Tatsuya was coming over that probably meant I was going to be free for the evening, for some reason that thought didn’t sit too well. I’d actually been looking forward to spending my one night off with him. As if I wasn’t around him enough as it was. Maybe I’m just a glutton for punishment. “Oh, you have to stay for dinner tonight Kenta. Haru and Tatsuya are coming over.” “Huh?” I looked back at him, nearly missing a step. “Tatsuya and I have been planning it for a while now, but with everything it kind of got pushed back.” “Okay . . . well I don’t see why I can’t.” I opened the door for him glancing around to make sure no one was waiting outside. “Cool.” He grinned at me as he slipped by, his fingers running through my hair. “You should let me do your hair.” “Like hell.” “Oh come on, Haru let’s Tatsuya dress him up.” Okay . . . that was not something I needed to know about Haru and since when was Haru hanging out with Tatsuya? Seeing the hopeful, almost pleading looking on Ryuu’s face I sighed. “Fine you can do my hair but that is it! Don’t even ask to do anything else.” “Oh! Thank you Kenta! I’ve been dying to do your hair. I know just how I’m going to do it too.” I don’t know what disturbed me more, the fact that I’d agreed or that Ryuu already had a style in mind. “Well fuck.” Ryuu Tatsuya and Haru stayed for quite a while. Cleaning up the empty beer cans from the living room I smiled seeing Kenta sprawled on the couch. It was kind of unusual to see him so relaxed. He looked entirely too good at the moment and I wondered how he did it. I had to work hours to look that sexy and he did it without even trying. His eyes were half closed but I could tell he was watching me as I walked around the living room. It gave me a rush, my heart suddenly pounding harder, my skin tingling. “Did you have fun?” His voice was a bit slurred by too many beers. “Yeah, did you?” “Yeah, though it’s weird seeing Haru like that.” “He’s happy. How is that weird?” It had been entirely too cute to see Haru and Tatsuya together. It was kind of odd to think that the normally acerbic and sometimes violent Haru was so considerate and gentle with the petite escort. Though the relationship obviously was working for the two of them which made me happy. Tatsuya and I had planned tonight, hoping that Kenta would get the hint. Though it didn’t seem to be working. Maybe I would have to do something to help it along. “No, that’s not what I meant.” Kenta pushed himself up on the couch. “He’s fun at work. He’s always joking with someone, it was just . . . different. He treats Tatsuya like he’s made of glass or something.” I giggled, unable to help it. “No not really. He’s just tender and sweet and affectionate. Tatsuya eats it up.” Kenta laughed. “Haru? Sweet?” “Yes.” I walked over standing in front of him looking down at him. The man was impossibly good looking and it took all my self control not to pounce him right then and there. “Is that so hard to believe?” “Umm . . . yes.” “Really? You know there are a lot of people who would say the same of you. They only see the brusque, harsh bodyguard.” He blinked at me the smile fading just a bit. “I’m not harsh.” “I know you aren’t.” I knelt down, grabbing a beer can that had somehow ended up under the couch. Setting it on the coffee table I let my gaze travel up. His dark eyes met mine and I realized I was dying to know what he was thinking. The way he was looking at me was making my whole body run hot. I shifted forward so that I was between his knees, my eyes still locked on his. “Believe me, I know you aren’t really like that. You are kind, and considerate, compassionate, honest, forgiving, patient, and stunning.” Long lashes lowered almost hiding the dark eyes. He was smiling at me. “You are so full of shit, Ryuu.” I leaned forward, placing my hands on either side of his hips. “Am I? I don’t think so.”

Ryuu The apartment was cold and dark. And empty, very empty. I tried not to think about how things had gone at the studio. Kenta probably thought I was a complete idiot. Everyone else did too. Not that I blamed them. I’d acted just like a spoiled rich brat not getting his way. Throwing a stupid tantrum was not going to help Akira at all. It was just my own self pity and insecurity. Without bothering to turn on any lights I headed straight for my room. Stripping, not even bothering to put my clothes in the hamper, I slid under the covers. I was too tired, physically and emotionally to bother with a shower. Filming was tiring anyway and I’d worn myself out being all emotional and stupid. Clutching at the pillow I buried my face against it. No matter what anyone said it was my fault Akira had quit eating. It had been my insistence that everyone look good for the filming that had started it. I was sure of it. I knew how sensitive he could be when it came to his appearance. Some friend I was. Sighing, I forced myself not to think about it. The filming was over. Akira had already gained a couple of pounds back since leaving the hospital two weeks ago. Reiko would take good care of him. Better than I ever did or could. I woke sometime later. The green glow from the clock on the nightstand barely illuminated the side of the bed. It was just after three in the morning. I sat up looking around wondering what had woke me. I was too tired to bother getting up and snuggled back down into the covers. I’d no sooner closed my eyes than I felt the bed move. Terror surged through me, freezing me in place. “You little slut.” I gasped, hearing the familiar voice, one I’d hoped to never in my life to hear again. I scrambled back, grasping for the sheets. “You thought you could get rid of me didn’t you?” I slammed into the head board and glanced around frantic for a way to get away. The light seemed wrong and I couldn’t breathe. It was suddenly hard to move. “D-don’t touch me!” “Oh, I’m going to do a lot more than touch you.” His voice was like liquid terror pouring over me, seeping into me until all that existed was those dark eyes and grasping hands. I tried to get away, to get out of the bed, but he grabbed my arm yanking me back down. That incredible strength that I had once relied on was now turned against me. The first hit stunned me and I was roughly flipped over and pinned to the bed. “No!” I gasped as my back hit the floor. I blinked a few times staring up at the ceiling. The room was bright with sunlight. Taking a few deep breaths I laid my head back closing my eyes. It was just a nightmare, but it had felt so real. I could still feel those fingers grabbing for me, feel the fist hitting me. I shuddered and slowly sat up feeling sick. Grasping for the bed I pulled myself up. I was shaking, barely able to keep a grip on the sheets. How could a stupid dream scare me that bad? Running a trembling hand through my hair, I forced myself not to think about it, about him. Staggering to my feet I made it into the bathroom, grabbing my phone on the way. Kenta “Who the fuck . . .” I groaned feeling around for my phone. I blinked a few times trying to focus on the display. “Six in the fucking morning. You better have a damn good reason Ryuu . . . Hey whats-“ “Kenta?” I sat up, any tiredness forgotten at the breathless panicked voice. I’d never heard him sound like that before and it sent a chill through me. “Can you come over please?” “Yeah sure. It’ll take me about thirty minutes to get there.” “O-okay, just let yourself in.” “Alright, I’m on my way.” I got there in twenty minutes. The doorman nodded as he let me into the lobby. Taking the elevator to the sixth floor I got out my key. I was nervous for some reason. Ryuu had sounded so upset and . . . scared. That was the only thing I could think. He’d sounded terrified on the phone. Opening the door I let myself in, making sure to take my shoes off. The apartment was almost eerily silent. “Ryuu?” I checked each room as I walked down the hall. He wasn’t in the office or the studio that left the bedroom. Opening the door, I blinked a few times at how bright the room was with the sunlight streaming in. The bed was a mess, the sheets mostly on the floor, but no Ryuu. Where the hell was he? “Kenta?” The soft, almost hesitant voice startled me. Turning I spotted him standing in the bathroom wrapped in a sheet. He’d been crying, that much was obvious from the blood shot eyes. I started toward him, stopping as he looked down, his whole posture changing as he almost seemed to crumple in on himself. “I’m sorry for calling you so early . . . I . . . just had a bad dream is all.” Must have been one hell of a bad dream, I thought to myself, to get him this upset. “Well, it’s over now. I’m here so I might as well make you some breakfast. Why don’t you come in the kitchen with me and you can tell me about this dream.” He nodded slowly still not looking at me. When he made no move to follow me I walked toward him. I reached for his arm thinking it would comfort him; instead he flinched, cowering almost as if he expected me to hit him. I narrowed my eyes. One fucking hell of a nightmare apparently. Slowly I grasped his wrist and pulled him toward me, not meeting any resistance. “Ryuu . . . why don’t you-“ I grunted in surprise as he suddenly grabbed me, his arms wrapped tight around my chest as he buried his face against my neck. He was entirely too warm and I suddenly realized . . . completely naked. Fuck. That shouldn’t matter. Ryuu was upset. Ignoring the feel of the slender, toned frame pressed up against me I patted his head. “Hey, it’s alright. It was just a dream.” “Yeah . . . just a dream.” I shivered feeling his lips move against my neck. What the fuck was wrong with me? “I’m sorry for calling you so early . . .” “Well . . . it’s not really in my job description so I guess I’ll have to charge you extra.” That got a soft laugh and he stepped back. I found myself staring into blue grey eyes and before I’d even thought about it, I reached up to brush the blonde hair out of his face. “You really need to cut your hair.” That got my hand smacked and an offended look. “I can’t cut it! The fans love my hair!” That set off a whole outburst about people not understanding fashion or what it meant to be a visual band. At least I’d got his mind off the dream and whatever else was upsetting him. I chuckled shaking my head as I left him in the bedroom so he could get dressed. Breakfast was going to be simple. I was too fucking tired to make a big fancy breakfast. Going to bed at two in the morning only to get woke up four hours later was not that fun. I set his plate on the table and sat down to wait on him. When he finally came out I was shocked at how different he looked. He looked every bit the rock star he was, though the timid smile kind of shattered the image. He’d spiked his hair and braided some of the longer strands. Dark eyeliner made the light colored eyes stand out even more. He was wearing his black leather pants that the girls always raved about. I’d had to stop more than one grabby fan from trying to touch him when he wore them. The white button up shirt had yet to be buttoned, showing off the flat stomach and toned chest. I’d give Ito one thing, he was good at looking good. I pointed to the plate. “Made yer breakfast.” “Oh, thanks. You didn’t have to do that.” I shrugged and stood up. “Well, for once there was food in the fridge. You goin’ out today.” “Yeah, I’ve got to meet with one of the producers. I actually forgot to tell you, but . . . I kind of need you to go with me. There is going to be a small press conference later too.” “Nakamara already told me.” In fact I had Ryuu’s schedule for the next month. Ryuu wasn’t exactly forgetful, he just got busy. “Today just started a little early is all.” Ryuu’s eyes flicked up for a second as he sat down. “Yeah, sorry about that. Haven’t had one of those nightmares in months.” I didn’t say anything. If he wanted to talk he would. Going to the fridge I found his juice and got him a can out. He was picking at his food as I set the can down next to his plate. “Am I that bad a cook?” “Oh. No! No, it’s just . . . I’m sorry for making you get up so early. I know you worked last night too.” “Do me a favor and quit fucking apologizing and eat. Next time I’ll just tell you to fuck off.” I smiled at him to show I was kidding and he grinned back at me. “Yeah right. You like the money too much.” “Fuck yeah.”

Kenta Today was going to shit. It had already gone to hell, and things were getting impossibly worse. Ryuu had locked himself in his dressing room and wasn’t letting anyone in. It was our second day on set shooting the band’s new promotional video and it seemed that anything and everything that could possibly go wrong was. I stood outside, leaning against the wall next to the door waiting for the latest tantrum to run its course. I’d never seen Ryuu this moody and even Sora was confused. It was almost like Ryuu was inventing reasons to stay in his dressing room. “Fuck this.” Taking out my key I opened the door to the room. I blinked a few times surprised that it was completely dark. “Ryuu?” There was no answer and a little rush of apprehension had my skin crawling. “Damn it Ryuu, what the hell is wrong with you? Everyone is waiting on you so we can wrap up shooting.” “I don’t care.” I couldn’t pin point exactly where his voice had come from and reaching over I flipped the light switch. Nothing. “Fuck. What the hell did you do to the light?” “Just go out.” I scowled hearing the tremor in his voice. “Are you crying?” “No.” “Liar.” “Just go out!” I jumped surprised to hear him scream at me like that. It wasn’t like Ryuu at all. Something was really wrong and I wasn’t leaving until I figured out what it was. “Shut the fuck up.” I slammed to door behind me, giving myself a moment until my eyes adjusted to the dim light. I could hear a soft sound that I instantly recognized as Ryuu crying. Fuck it all to hell. I was going to beat him. Why the fucking hell was he crying anyway? He’d been the one who’d thrown the hissy fit when the stylist had accidentally burned him with the iron. I spotted him huddled up on the small love seat that occupied one wall. Walking over to the dressing table I flipped the light on and turned to face him. He wouldn’t look at me. Tears were streaming down his face. His make-up was ruined and it looked like he’d ripped the hairpiece out too. “Ryuu . . .” I kept my voice low, trying to get him calmed down. It hurt me more than I felt it should to see him like this. Standing in front of him I reached down to touch his arm and got my hand batted away. “Don’t touch me! Just don’t fucking touch me.” He was sobbing now, the sound piercing me. Fuck. It should not hurt this much to see him upset. It should not make me want to pull him close and do whatever I could to see that brilliant smile again. “Why are you here? Why don’t you just leave?” “It’s my job to take care of you Ryuu.” That seemed to be the wrong thing to say. Ryuu was suddenly on his feet, his face inches from mine. “I am not just a fucking job!” I caught his wrist as he went to leave and shoved him back down on the sofa. I could feel his pulse racing under my fingertips as I stared down at him. “You are going to fucking calm down and tell me what the fuck is wrong or so help me you will not be finishing this PV. I’ll send everyone home and cancel the shoot.” “N-no don’t . . . I . . . I’m sorry.” His voice sounded so small and hollow, so unlike the Ryuu I knew. Letting go of his wrist I sat down next to him. I didn’t say anything, just waiting. It took several minutes but I finally heard him take a deep breath. “I . . . it’s my fault. I can’t even look at him without thinking that it was my fault. I should have just kept my stupid mouth shut. He must hate me. Reiko is upset with me anyway. She yelled at me at the hospital and hasn’t really talked to me since. I didn’t mean-“ “Ryuu . . . it’s not your fault.” I sighed and leaned forward resting my arms on my knees, hanging my head. This again? “Akira has other issues too, we all know that. None of us realized he wasn’t eating.” I felt him shift next to me, his voice barely audible. “He told me he wanted to look good for the shoot. Everyone must think I’m an egomaniacal insensitive jerk. Even the fans are going to hate me now.” I wasn’t sure what egomaniacal meant, but it didn’t sound good. “The fans don’t hate you Ryuu. And no one thinks you are like that. We all failed Akira.” Soft hair brushed my cheek as Ryuu laid his head over on my shoulder. The subtle scent of hairspray and his expensive cologne surrounded me. “I hate it. He’s always been so small anyway, and now he’s just skin and bones. Every time I look at him I get this sick feeling. He could have died Kenta and it would have been my fault. I know he’s doing better now but . . . he’s lost so much weight. His outfit doesn’t even fit anymore. Why do I have to be so stupid?” “Ryuu,” I was careful to keep any trace of anger out of my voice. He was still blaming himself for Akira’s anorexia? I’d thought we’d discussed this while Akira was in the hospital, though it seemed Ryuu was still feeling like it was his fault. “It was his choice. It’s not like you were taking food away from him.” There was a loud sigh and the warmth was suddenly gone. “I know, but it doesn’t change the fact that he acted on something I said.” There was a long silence. “Kenta, I’m sorry. Um . . . can you please tell everyone I’ll be out in a few minutes to finish the filming.” “Sure Ryuu.” I got to my feet and headed for the door. Opening it I turned back to him, but he was already at the mirror trying to fix his hair. I sighed and shut the door behind me. It was just like him to blame himself for something like this. Silly twit. I tracked down the director and had a few words with him. Ryuu had to be handled delicately when he was in this kind of a mood. His self esteem was so fragile it was almost pathetic and it made me wonder why that was the case. The guy had everything. Wealth, fame, looks, girls (and guys) literally throwing themselves at him so why was his self esteem shit? It didn’t make any sense to me. I sat off to the side as they finished wrapping up shooting. Ryuu was his usual smiling, happy, confident self. Watching and listening to him sing always gave me chills. There was just something about his voice, the emotion he could put into it that got to me every time. I’d been a fan of their music before I’d ever met them in person. Knowing Ryuu and the other boys hadn’t changed that, if anything I was even more of a fan now because I knew just how fucking hard they worked. “You guys looked great.” I handed Hasu a bottle of water and a towel, I had a Coke waiting for the other three. I got three smiles and a grimace. Ryuu wasn’t happy. Go figure. I followed them out to the van after they’d changed. Reiko was waiting. Akira immediately went to her and I heard Ryuu sigh. I frowned looking over at him. That had been happening a lot lately. Was he jealous or something? Reiko was pretty hot. A bit too aggressive for my tastes, but that didn’t seem to faze Akira. I bumped his arm with my elbow to get his attention. “What’s wrong?” He shrugged, not looking up at me. “Just tired I guess. Sorry about earlier.” “Don’t worry about it.” I opened the van door for him and waited until the other two had climbed in before getting in myself. Akira was headed out with Reiko. If anyone could whip that boy into shape it would be her. She wouldn’t be above force feeding him if she had to. We dropped Sora and Hasu off at their places and drove back across town to the gated apartment complex that Ryuu called home. He hesitated before getting out. Soft grey eyes regarded me for a moment. “You want to come up?” “Nah, I gotta get home and change. It’s my night to work at the restaurant.” “Yeah, of course. Sorry. See you later then.” I watched him leave wondering why I had the odd sensation that my heart was dropping through my gut.

Kenta I could tell I’d scared him, the way he spun around and backed against the counter the grey eyes wide. Made me feel like shit. I knew how jumpy he could be. What I wasn’t prepared for was to have him suddenly fling himself at me. Not that he didn’t do it that often, I just hadn’t thought a little argument with Akira would set off these kind of tears. I patted his head, stroking his hair as he cried into my t-shirt. I’d come to realize that it calmed him down to have the physical contact. The first few months of working for him had been fucking awkward to say the least. “I should have known . . . I did know . . . I just didn’t think.” Ryuu mumbled his breath hot through the fabric of my t-shirt. I could only assume he was talking about the outfit thing. Akira and Sora had explained why Ryuu had suddenly decided to lock himself in his room at the same time I happened to get to the apartment. “It’s not a big deal, Ryuu. Come on. No reason to cry about it.” “I-I know . . . I just . . . don’t like it when he yells at me.” “Yeah, but you cry when Reiko yells at you too.” “She hits when she yells.” “Fuck yeah. Girl is fucking crazy.” I was glad she wasn’t there to hear me say it. I loved Reiko, but the girl was painful to be around sometimes. God help you if you hurt Akira. You’d be better off cutting off your own balls. “Just, don’t tell her about the outfit.” “No, upset enough with Akira yelling at me, don’t want to get smacked too.” Ryuu finally looked up at me and I felt my heart speed up just a bit as those oddly colored eyes stared at me. “Sorry Kenta. You just get here and I’m being all stupid and emotional.” Grabbing his shoulders I shook him slightly. “What did I say about calling yourself stupid? Quit or I will smack you myself.” Something flickered in his eyes and I felt my stomach drop. I’d seen that look before and it was one I’d never wanted to see again on someone I cared about. The next instant it was gone and he nodded, trying to smile. “I need to go apologize to Akira.” I let him go and stepped out of his way. The slender frame brushed by me and I had the sudden urge to pull him back and make sure he really was alright. Fuck. I rubbed my forehead looking down. What had that look I’d seen been about? I knew where I’d seen it before and that thought scared me shitless. It was my job to keep him safe, safe and happy. I followed him on out into the living room where the other boys were watching a movie. Going to the kitchen I went to see if there were any leftovers. Staring at the empty fridge I knew I shouldn’t be surprised. Hasu might not be any taller than Akira but he ate enough for both of them put together. If he wasn’t eating he was moving or sound asleep. Grabbing out my phone I called the closest carry out and ordered everyone’s favorite things. Akira and Ryuu were still talking when I hung up but things seemed less tense. Ryuu was laughing and smiling again and Akira was gesturing as he described something. Leaning against the counter I watched them for a little bit. The general public had no idea that the members of Bloody Agony were such close friends even outside of work. Ryuu had a lot to do with that. He needed them, just as much as they needed each other. It really was like a little family. While I waited for dinner to arrive, I called Hayate to check on how things were going at the bar. It was a slow night so he told me to stay put. “Daisuike had a bit of a rough day today.” “Oh?” That was unusual. Normally all Daisuike had to do was look at someone to get what he wanted. “Um yeah. From what I heard him and Jiro both got the shit beat out of them.” “What?” I said it too loud and saw the boys look over at me. Turning my back I lowered my voice. I didn't like to involve the band in anything gang related if I could help it. That Akira's brothers ran the gang was enough. “What the fuck happened? Why didn’t they call?” “It went down too fast from what Jiro told me. I guess Ruka is throwing a fit about it though.” I couldn’t say I blamed him. If anyone ever hurt Ryuu . . . I shook my head. It was my job to keep him safe. I’d kill anyone that touched him or any of the boys. “They need anything?” “Nah, though I think Jiro was going to call Akira to come home and help patch them up.” “He ain’t called yet-“ I’d barely got the words out when I heard the distinct ring of Akira’s phone. “Never mind. I gotta go. Talk to you later.” Akira was already on the phone and I frowned watching how pale he suddenly went. “Yeah, yeah I’ll be right there. I gotta go guys. Suke got hurt.” He was already on his feet and headed for the door. The apartment was quiet for a bit after Akira left. Everyone of us knew how close the two brothers where and after almost losing Daisuike a few months ago any little thing scared Akira now. Walking into the living room I put on a movie. I glanced over as Ryuu walked up to me. He glanced up but didn’t hold my eyes for long. “I was . . . just wondering how long you were going to stay tonight?” I looked at him for a moment. “How long do you want me to stay?” A look I’d never seen before crossed his face, but then he glanced away again. “I-I don’t care. I think Sora and Hasu were going to spend the night.” I nodded. That was pretty usual. I knew how much Ryuu hated to be alone. I’d learned pretty quickly that he not only craved attention but needed it. He’d rather skip a meal and do an impromptu signing or meet and greet. If I let him, he’d wear himself to nothing promoting the band. I got the door when the bell rang and took the food thanking the boy. I gave him a generous tip, knowing I’d seen him at another job locally too. I knew what it was like to work multiple jobs just to try to make ends meet. “Hey, foods here guys.” “Oh! You got us food! Sweet! Thanks Kenta!” Hasu, of course, was the first one to the table. He gave me a quick hug, making it impossible to breathe for a moment. The kid was just too fucking strong for his own good. I should know, we sparred with each other on a regular basis. I would seriously get out of shape otherwise and what kind of bodyguard would I be then? Hearing the house phone ring, I frowned and walking over picked it up. The smell of the food was starting to get to me, if I didn’t hurry up Hasu would eat my portion too. He’d already devoured his food and had started on what I’d ordered for Akira. “Ito residence.” “Oh Kenta.” I rolled my eyes hearing Kaori’s trill. “Is my beautiful boy there?” “Yeah, just a sec.” Holding the receiver against my chest I looked around. “Ryuu, it’s your ma.” He jumped up from the table. “Oh! I’m coming.” He smiled at me as he took the phone, his eyes seeming to linger for just a moment. I went back to go see if Hasu had left me any food. “Hey, brat, where is my food.” Hasu looked up at me noddles hanging out of his mouth. He glanced down and had the grace to look sheepish. There were three empty containers around him already. “Sorry.” He pushed the carton toward me and handed over the chopsticks. I handed them back and got my own out. “Fuck Hasu, you ate half of it already. I’m going to kick your ass.” That got me the wide eyed innocent look that he was so famous for. At least it wasn’t fake, usually. I didn’t let it phase me as I stuffed in a mouthful. I waved the now empty chopsticks at him. “Don’t think that look is going to save you. I owe you for last time.” He grinned at me, the cheeky little shit. “Yeah, we’ll see. You said that last time too.” I grunted, shoving in another bite. “Don’t think you know everything about fighting, Hasu. It’s one thing to spar, getting into an actual fight is totally different.” Hasu nodded, his eyes losing some of the innocent sparkle. I could barely hear him when he next spoke. “Yeah, I know.” Clearing my throat I looked around. Sora was sprawled on the couch watching the movie I’d put in, Ryuu had disappeared, probably into the office so he could talk with his mother. “But hey, that’s why we spar right? So we are ready if the time comes.” I didn’t like seeing this subdued side of Hasu. It made me wonder who had fucked with him. A kid as cute and friendly as him shouldn’t have any enemies at all, much less get into fights. He was smarter than me by far and could probably talk his way out of just about any situation. Me . . . I’d rather just get it over with and go on. Words don’t come easy for me. I finished what was left of my dinner and sat back watching him for a moment. He was busy gathering up the empty cartons to throw away. “I probably better get going.” I got up grabbing up my trash. “Jiro might need some help tonight.” Hasu looked up at me. “You might want to tell Ryuu you are leaving. He always gets pouty if you leave without saying anything.” “Oh.” Tossing the cartons I looked down hall, the door to the office was open. “Yeah, I’ll do that.” I poked my head in the office door and grinned seeing him leaning back in the chair, his feet propped up in the desk. The phone was cradled against his shoulder, but he was sound asleep. I could hear the soft murmur of Koari’s voice through the speaker. Walking over, I carefully took the phone laying his head back. “Ito-san, I’m sorry he fell asleep.” I whispered. “Oh,” There was a sigh and a soft laugh from the other end. “I wondered. Thank you for taking such good care of my son, Arakaki-kun. He talks about you all the time.” After telling her good bye I hung up, wondering what she’d meant. Looking down at the sleeping vocalist I shook my head. Why the hell would he talk about me to his mother? Didn’t make a lot of sense to me. Leaning down over him I smiled. “Ryuu, if you are that tired why don’t you go to bed?” His eyelids fluttered for a moment giving the slightest glimpse of grey before closing again. “Will you come with me?”

Boku no pico, pico to chico, boku x pico x chico... I don't know why I ever watched all three of them. Maybe I like torturing myself... hmm... Yeah,.. I felt terrible while watching them.

[ATTACH]1259[/ATTACH][ATTACH]1261[/ATTACH] see some real one:Red_fox: