Finally I feel fine, strong and happy. I’ve spent 2 fcking years slipping in and out of depression, but thanks to the right medicine and loving people, I’m back to being me again. It’s often said that depression isn’t about feeling sad. It’s part of it, of course, but to compare the life-sapping melancholy of depression to normal sadness is like comparing a paper cut to an amputation. It's simply a mental illness. Your soul doesn't exist at that moment, there is nothing around you. Everything is black. Literally. I felt like I lived in the tunnel without light. Even ordinary daily tasks such as breathing, eye opening, movement, smile, going to work - all this was very exhausting and difficult. It was not even life. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I was just lying in bed and staring at the ceiling.

The biggest stigma comes from yourself. You blame yourself for the illness that you can only dimly see.

BUT, thanks to my family, thanks to my friends and thanks to YaoiOtaku and the people in this forum I was able to survive. YAAAAAY! So just- Thank you guys. Really.

When I wrote my first post I received a lot of positive messages and a lot of love! You didn't know who I am and you shared your love and positive thoughts with me! YOU'RE SO AMAZING PEEPS! Thank you so much!

Thankiee crystald (you lil angel of YO!), thank you batista, AlphaZero, Choree, littlespiral, Dan'na-sama, Dexen, RedNoki, fan_yaoi, voide, iamTK, Lethalyx (oh my cutie perv assassin!), lnu, Nezumi-kun, Orient, Preeh, Rebel Heart, Rumpleteaser, etc. etc. THANK YOU ALL! I'm finally free

Today it's quite nice out after getting hit by a storm the other day the tomatoes are growing so fast it's really amazing! I have a few photos of my tomato growing experience and this is actually my very first time successfully growing tomatoes and my first time actually planting them and I'm so proud of myself! I've taken care of these babies since Day 1 I think we are on day 21(?) I literally lost count but it's been over a month now haha. I've been giving them the right amount of water, Sevin Dust to keep those pesky bugs away, and tomato food like directed these babies are going to be so delicious I just hope that they are ready before we hit fall and the colder weather hits us, I think it was timed right. 

This was taken the other day look at that baby tomatoes! They're growing so strongly.

This is the tomatoes now (today) and it appears that we have more tomatoes coming! Last time it was 10 / 5 so 10 flowers and 5 tomatoes and now I can't even keep up how many flowers and tomatoes we have growing all together they're growing at a very fast rate right now. 

Pretty darn excited I must say so myself! Thanks for visiting my random blog. I will try to keep the tomato blog ongoing for more exciting news about my green thumb.

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P. S . shout out to

I'm starting a blog thread to de-stress from work and studying. I also want to log my running goals and write about my swimming classes because I have interesting classmates in the pool. My other hobby is reading BL.

I may also post pictures of interesting things I see or my lunch box, because it's usually the highlight of my day.

So are ya curious to know what other fujoshis do in their real life, when not busy giggling about uke/semes?...

Read on...

I've set myself a reminder to post again next week. Until next time!

[font=book antiqua]This thread will be my little random corner,
when I say 'random' I really do mean it.

I don't expect people to follow nor to reply,
thus my blog thread will be closed and only I 
would be able to post; in other words, you will be
just reading in case you, of course, wish to do so.

If some of my entries are too psychological,
too dark or something that 'bright personalities'
don't like or can't stand - I will mark it with
the following symbol:[color=#ff3366][size=3]黒
[/size][/color]
I might have other kind of markings, so I will
enlist them below.[/font]

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last edit: 2017/March

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This is my first every "blog" and honestly I had no idea I could do this, but I figured this was the fastest and easiest way to get my message across to everyone. So, here it goes....I've been on YO since 2013, so I've been around for 6 years! I think i joined the sight when I was 15 so as you can tell I love the site and you guys, and not to mention I've done MANY role plays (And if your curious I'm 21) . But very soon I won't be able to be on as much as I use to be...I pretty much have been on the site almost everyday or every other day for the past 6 years. And the reason being is ( About to get personal ) Is because I'm joining the Army! And if any of you know what Basic Training is like, then you know I won't have my phone for 12 weeks, and then after that I'm sent to school for 22 weeks, and then sent to my "duty station" which may or may not be out of the country. I don't plan on ever leaving the site but due to this new journey/ challenge I'm taking on I might not be on for months at a time, which might be hard on my role play partners And for that I'm sorry, please forgive me, I'll try to reply when I can, and just know I will not abandon our story with out giving you the heads up, so don't ever think I ghosted on you. I'm not that type of person XD But yeah....that's all I wanted to tell you guys so I hope we can continue our amazing role plays even if I can't reply as often as I wish. My Ship date is Oct 15 so we still have some time, but don't be surprised if I'm not on for months at a time.

@azuneko, @Shisu-Chan00, @smolcat, @Yukio Takamiya, @mik3la, @hal7283, @YellowMelon, @virtualoo, @jo_suzaku and everyone else. XP

Last year close to winter break in my European Studies class everyone in my class was just chilling, chatting, doing work for other classes, etc. I was in a conversation with my friend who was going on and on about how sweet her boyfriend was; at one point I got slightly jealous of her and at the time I was just a lonely mess, so when it was my turn to speak I said "Oh my god someone please let me fuck you like the people in ancient Greece did twelve year old boys!" I said it a little louder than I thought because a few moments later the entire lecture hall broke out in laughter except for my professor. Once everyone calmed down the professor coughed to get everyone's attention and asked: "Now, what do you mean by that Mr. (Insert my last name here)?"

On the spot, without thought, I responded with "In a giant orgy whilst covered in olive oil" That is what broke my professor and he just burst out laughing along with the class.

The next time I went to that class one, we were waiting for the professor to finish making his coffee until our classmate (Let's call him Jeff) walked up to the professor's desk connects his computer to the projector in the room and loads up crudely made powerpoint with the tidal "How to have the sex". Once the Professor returned to the class, Jeff slammed a bottle of olive oil next to his laptop and started an entire lecture about the sex all the while the professor just sat down in the third row of seats taking notes.

So that's the end of an idiotic moment in my life. I am oddly proud of it.

Symptoms & Treatments of Mental Disorders

Mental disorders are characterized by problems that people experience with their mind and their mood. They are not well understood in terms of their causes, but the symptoms of mental illness are scientifically valid and well known. Treatment — usually involving both psychotherapy and medication — for most mental illness and mental health concerns is readily available and, eventually, effective for most people.

Please keep in mind that only an experienced mental health professional can make an actual diagnosis.

I'm going to be firstly focusing on personality disorders;

These disorders typically aren’t diagnosed until an individual is a young adult, often not until their 20’s or even 30’s. Most individuals with personality disorders lead pretty normal lives and often only seek psychotherapeutic treatment during times of increased stress or social demands. Most people can relate to some or all of the personality traits listed; the difference is that it does not affect most people’s daily functioning to the same degree it might someone diagnosed with one of these disorders. Personality disorders tend to be an intergral part of a person, and therefore, are difficult to treat or “cure.”

• Antisocial Personality Disorder
  
• Avoidant Personality Disorder
  
• Borderline Personality Disorder
  
• Dependent Personality Disorder
  
• Histrionic Personality Disorder
  
• Multiple Personality Disorder, // Dissociative Identity Disorder
  
• Narcissistic Personality Disorder
  
• Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder
  
• Paranoid Personality Disorder
  
• Schizoid Personality Disorder
  
• Schizotypal Personality Disorder
  

Hi this is Elisabet Wattanasin here, aka Lissie or Elisa... (should make that name shorter maybe?)

I am very excited to announce my first blog here on YO (Yaoi Otaku Forums)

I want to start the ball rolling with how my weekend has been shaping up.

Usually I don't do too much activity, I get over stimulated easily ha!

So I like to keep it simple more than likely.

Saturday

I started hanging out with a friend again, I haven't seen or heard from in 3 years... (wow that's long as to be not known to someone) Thankfully he remembered bits about me.

Mostly that I liked rap music and was a twin.So seeing him again was a breath of fresh air, literally!

He has started his own lawn mowing business... Cool!

And also has dug into all this conspiracy theory business.

I am not against that, because I think not everything is like it initially seems, at first glance.

Anyways before that I was supposed to sleep over at my mates house, even when he was wasted from a few drinks. lol I thought the door was locked and so I went to get something to nom on after I visited him. Funny how I assumed that.

Food and drink for that day was energy drinks and chippies again -___-

I should cook something, darn it. But I have addictions it seems... shameful...

To conclude my day was a gay one and also a straight one. lmao

More gay than anything.

Lastly I was listening to at the moment. Tegan and Sara's 2016 venture "Love you to death" Nice!

Thanks for reading and see all you lovelies in the next adventure

Elisabet

let's start from the beginning...

people always make resolutions during the start of the year, and halfway through, in maybe june or july, they stop and realize that they haven't done anything towards their resolutions yet. i used to be one of those people, really. except i do it at the start of each semester instead of the start of each year. and, to nobody's surprise! it's never worked out at all for me.

except, surprisingly, this year really has been better.

it started when i finally had the courage to switch from my old degree program (mathematics) into my new degree program (library and information science), halfway through my fourth year in university. better late than never, right? even though i was so terribly late. in some ways, i regret waiting for so long to get out of my old program, especially since i knew i was so miserable there. but, in other ways, i am thankful. perhaps it just so happened that i needed longer to realize that things weren't working out, and that i shouldn't force myself into having a career that i'm not passionate about. besides, if not for me taking my sweet time to leave, i wouldn't have met the good friends i have now.

i feel much lighter, doing what i honestly want to do. during the last two semesters (since i also took summer classes), i did my work religiously and studied for exams. i wasn't miserable. i was stressed, yes, but everything felt fulfilling to me, like i finally wasn't hitting a dead-end.

quite frankly speaking, it's liberating.

being in a better space emotionally and mentally has also allowed me to start reading books again. i mostly read gay romance novels, since i use my reading time as a way to unwind, and it surprises me how many good books i've missed out on while i was wallowing in my self-induced hole of misery. nowadays, even when i'm busy, i take the time to read a little bit on the bus during my commute. since i've started reading regularly again in the middle of may, i've read fifty books already! that's probably more books than i've read in the last four years combined...

in any case - my family and friends always tell me that life happens at each individual's own pace. for the longest time, i was frustrated over my lack of progress. but when i finally had the courage to take the leap and make a big change in my life for the better, everything else seemed to follow. i'm working towards being truly happy now, and it's a good feeling to have.

I will start with my travel America, so much to say, so much to see, it's a land like no other, I'm still baffeld. We flew from Schiphol/Amsterdam towards Chicago and we passed over Greenland and Canada. The first pictures are taken from the plane, as I found the outside world magic like, out of this world.

The first step into America was Chicago, And I got to say, from our Dutch perspective, this city deserves it title as windy city, and the worst part for me was that the sky scrapers move, I almost threw up at the 96 floor. I love the different styles of architecture in Chicago, the old and new mixed together make a lovely picture. Also a thing what I noticed is how wide spride the cities in America are, everywhere you look there are houses, but unlike our cities, they all got land added to it which would be impossible for our small land nation.

I ate my first and last American burger in this city, it was so fat, that my whole stomach turned upside down, caused me to poo water for days. I think we Europeans are not used to the amount of fast food they eat here or something, we also got a McDonald etc, but still the difference in preparing the burgers and stuff is so different.

More pictures will come later,

There will be also japanese here so, I will practice japanese too.

Since I get bored easily when I study, I thought this would be interesting.

And these aren't my own language so there might be grammar mistakes.

こんにちは、僕の韓国語をもっと練習するためにこのブログを作ろうと思っていました。

日本語もあるので、日本語も練習します。

勉強すると、退屈なので、これは面白いと思った。

そして、これらは僕自身の言語ではないので、文法上の間違いがあるかもしれません。

안녕하세요, 저는 한국어를 더 연습하기 위해이 블로그를 만들려고했습니다.

일본어도 있으므로 일본어도 연습 할 것입니다.

공부할 때 쉽게 지루해지기 때문에 재미있을 것이라고 생각했습니다.

그리고 이것들은 제 자신의 언어가 아니기 때문에 문법 실수가있을 수 있습니다.

I've sleepless nights. Lately it become worst. I usually spent it with reading or listen to podcasts or playing around internet until I drop tired. I don't know what should I put here to be honest. But this is going to be a space for me to share with you anything I found interesting.

I've recently listened to this podcast:

Man, it breaks my heart. This is a true story. I don't usually listen non-fiction podcast bc paranoid. Just put it out here. If anyone of you interested to listen to it be warned of these content warning: Suicide, Racist slurs, & a few more.

ps: I hope this is okay to share. If this makes you upset, don't click it. Thank you.

Here are some things you should know:

• My father is always cheating on my mother.
   
  
• My mother has a severe victim mentality & always forgives my father.
   
  
• My Little sister is living in my parents house with her boyfriend (about a year and a half now)
   
  
• My Big Sister is emotionally abusive at times(massive mood swings and entitlement issues).
   
  

Let begin with Today.

Today is the first day my father doesn't have a job. He was fired Friday for absolutely NO REASON. He is currently looking for a job. He disrespected my dog Zac, calling him a retard and threatening to take him to the dog pound... this was all because of a donut. My father covers up his affairs by creating trouble and I know this but Zac is basically my only friend I would take with me when I leave this house.

My little sister and her boyfriend have been living rent-free in my parents home for a year and a half. My parents haven't asked for rent since last month because they are sometimes helpful around the house but don't help pay bills. A few minutes ago she told my family that they are moving out to a place they found. The main reason being that they don't think they should have to pay $60 a month to live in my parents house.

While I was in town running errands with my Big Sister (because I don't have a drivers license) (I'm 20 but I absolutely hate traffic and am terrified of cars), she wanted to get something to eat but doesnt know how to get there so I pulled up a GPS on my phone. Because the GPS is very spotty where we live, we sometimes miss turns because of delays but she takes it out on me, calls me a cow and how I am so stupid that a dog would do a better job.

And of everything going on, my mother somehow makes herself the victim of everything, saying she is sorry she has made our life hell and that she should just put a bullet through her skull. I am tied of feeling guilty and pity towards my parents. She catches him cheating and still says she loves him.

Lately I have been massively depressed. I watched Project S: SOS episode 1 yesterday and all the feelings I thought I buried years ago have been unearthed and shaken because of these events.

I am smart but have noone to talk to.

I have an associated degree but no job.

I hate my father but have to pretend I don't.

I have to play the peacemaker and tranquilizer for my sisters.

I'm stuck in a loop and I am afraid that my dreams are being reduced to ash.

this is a blog, of sorts, where i ramble about anything and everything. it could be about stupid customers at work, problems i have with some kpop groups or international fans, or the pretty colour of the sky.

everything is fair game and i'd like to start documenting my rambles, as i have a lot of them.

stayed tuned for the almost maniacal way of talking~

♥, pechadur :Red_fox:

I just love to extragerate things.

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[td]✖ IDK? I am a pretty chill person.[/td]

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So ummm, I suppose I am a very random at times too. Also very shy, but once we get closer, I am sure I will annoy you. Anyway, I love writing. I have been practising since I was 10 (I was a kid with lot's of free it OK?) and I've written a few KPOP and Dragon Age fanfics. My roleplay experience accounts for eight years and I always love to try new things, either in RP or in my life in general. My motto actually is: Everything in life is an experience.

Anyway (x2), here I'll be posting - mostly - random stuff, such as weird encounters that I have had, poems, ideas for RP or fics, plots and the such. I mean, don't have your expectations high of me because I am the Master of Disappointment. Yeah.

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001. PLOT IDEA

Hi all, it's Eui-kon. Haven't been on for forever, but wanted to say I missed everyone and let you guys know what I was doing so you don't hate me. =D I was finishing up school, and got to work on a lot of cool project as part of my final project with my friends and it was an amazing experience. It was a long haul but worth all the effort. I put together a montage of my time in school and a few pictures of the celebrations and wanted to share it with everyone. Now the next part, wish me luck in getting an internship somewhere xD.